4lex1z Petr1d1sh

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We all know he's not very good, but I finally got round to reading his Electric 6 review and piece about the ailing british music industry from Friday's Guardian Review last night, and they plumb new depths. For a start, the Electric 6 review is hand-wringing and authenticity-obsessed ("oh no, one-hit-wonder, OH NO") like it was written by the most uptight indie-fanboy. Secondly he didn't appear to understand that Doctor & The Medics were not a one-hit-wonder novelrty band - they were actually the fucking KLF, who managed substantially more than one hit under various guises, and therefore don't quite belong in the same bracket as that "Cotton Eye Joe" tune. As for the article about the ailing Brit music industry, jeeeeezuz, I've never read anything so pointless an completely lacking in insight in MY LIFE. "Maybe kids are spending their money on mobile phones and video games!" Shuh, and monkeys might fly outta my butt.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 07:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"The future of British music isn't the guy we told you about last year, or the year before that, it's this guy. Look, he spells "Dizzy" in a funny way. He's almost as good as Hundred Reasons."

Still, at least he's not Polly Toynbee.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 07:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Were Doctor and the Medics REALLY the KLF? I mean, REALLY?!?!? I've never heard that before.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 07:51 (twenty-two years ago)

er, yea, thats a new one on me too nick!

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you having me on, kate?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Where did you hear it, Nick? I really haven't heard this one before.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:09 (twenty-two years ago)

They weren't the KLF!! Definitely not!!

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:10 (twenty-two years ago)

never heard that before either - only know one song by them too

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:12 (twenty-two years ago)

They were! It's in 45, all about how they made the car do the interviews and stuff.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

No way Jose. Jimmy Cauty was struggling along with the aptly named Brilliant when Dr & the Medics were having there one shot at fame. I'm not sure if Drummond was still managing the Bunnymen by then.

I can't imagine him having anything to do with such a tame, cack handed goth-hippy cover version.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

No, it's alright, I'm insane. I've got them mixed-up with The Timelords. Petr1d1sh is still a fule tho'.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:17 (twenty-two years ago)

thought you may have meant The Timelords

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, indeed. And here was me thinking "There was no CAR in Doctor and the Medics... was there?"

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:32 (twenty-two years ago)

How much of a fule do I feel now?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)

though i think embrace were the klf? ;)

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought both the pieces were a little off in spots but fundamentally he was right both times (esp after seeing E6 at Glasto that same day). Maybe Nick is too young to remember the HORROR that was T0m C0x as Guardian music critic (The Wondermints again? Don't mind if I do!)

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:39 (twenty-two years ago)

It's OK, you're not a fool. I'm actually slightly relieved that Dr & Medics turned out NOT to be a KLF invention cause *I* would have felt very foolish indeed for not knowing that.

― kate (kate), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

But the Brit music biz piece said nothing and had no point whatsoever!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Dr & The Medics did "Spirit In The Sky" then, yeah?

Embrace are indeed a plot by The KLF...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I am going soft in my old age but I quite like AP. As I've said before, I think he's pretty ILx-friendly in his views, even if he isn't a supreme prose stylist. And as Tico sez, in the context of Cox - and, indeed, Caroline Sullivan - he is quite an improvement.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't remember Cox at all. When was he there?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Dullivan was the worst music writer EVAH!!

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 09:21 (twenty-two years ago)

What are the chief music critics like on all the other broadsheet dailies, anyway? What with us being a load of muesli eating pinkoes around here, we do focus on The Guardian far too much.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

It sounds like a librarian's name (no offence librarians - hell, I'm one).

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Thing is Dom, I can't remember anyone else's names. The Times is normally reasonable if not spectacular. I remember Petr1d2sh because of the fanfare when he arrived a year or two ago like we were meant to know or care who the fuck he was.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 09:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Are we talking about Petridis' innagural piece of The Guardian, that hideous G2 cover story with him taking "a journey through modern day musical Britain". Condensed version of that story "Moshers- ooooh. Townies- ooooh. Travis are popular. The End"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. The cunt. Funnily enough a lecturer here wrote a book about the very same thing. Only good.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 09:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. The cunt.

[laughs at the vitriol]

I'd hate to offend Nick S if one becomes 'a cunt' just for music journalism that he regards as mediocre.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 11:06 (twenty-two years ago)

but the thing is that he is a total irretrievable cunt, not just professionally but personally, if you ever meet him. rude, obnoxious, jumped-up and far from being merely mediocre, he is categorically and actively BAD

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

all the same, having said that, he is still better than the cox-sullivan axis of evil.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave, you and I need to go to The Guardian's offices oen day and insist (possibly with swords) that they let us take over their msuic coverage.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I SAW THAT.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

The evil of Guardian-man is nowt to the rubbishness of Neil McCormick in the Telegraph.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

that Tom Cox ...promoted the most boring dull retro guitar sound with songs format

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

But N, I like cunts...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick LEAVE THE SWORDS ALONE!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

The evil of Guardian-man is nowt to the rubbishness of Neil McCormick in the Telegraph.

let's just face it they're all pretty bad - i don't mind some of the stuff in the times play supplement but it's too short. the times proper bores me rigid, the guardian exasperates me and the telegraph, well, what Mr Bloody Swygart said. the independent just don't figger and that's about it...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I quite like Kitty Empire in the Observer. Petridish isn't a great writer but he's nowhere near as bad as this thread would suggest (or indeed Caroline Sullivan). Just wait, because one day Alex Needham will be given a broadsheet job and then you'll ALL be going on about the good old days.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

P13R5 M@R71N!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

My bro allegedly has nekkid pics of Kitty Empire somewhere; she used to go otu with his mate. Search ILX for 'real world' (as in the MTV program) for more details.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

THAT POST IS BEYOND CLASSIC... FUCKING EPIC, IN FACT...
THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ON ILX!!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know, i've only met him once but he seemed nice enough to me...

― toby (tsg20), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, i'm pretty obnoxious, too, so maybe i brought the worst out in him!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

The evil of Guardian-man is nowt to the rubbishness of Neil McCormick in the Telegraph

he purposefully misquoted me for a snide and cynical feature he wrote on the White Stripes phenomenon in the Telegraph in the summer of 2001.

I was about the second person to write about the band evah! in the UK, with a live review of their SXSW show which ran alongside a pic taken by Steve Gullick (we pressurised the then-reviews editor - a lovely lass who was forced out of her job - to run the pic on such an unknown band because they *were* the best thing we saw all week, asides from the wholly NME-unfriendly Oxbow), and had had a review of Die Stihl sitting on the spike awaiting publishing since february of that year. When they played the 100 Club, i ended up writing a 600 word NME live review that got excerpted in the Times and read out verbatim on Radio 4 the next day, kinda kick-starting (alongside John Peel's stirling, continued and doubtless much more influential support) the whole press furore in the UK.

Neil phoned me for his piece about a week after, and i told him how i'd been sent the LP at the start of that year, had loved it, and had been looking forward to seeing them live at SXSW in the run-up to the festival. When he wrote the feature, the situation was re-written to suggest i just accidentally happened upon them at SXSW and had no knowledge of them beforehand. The feature also concluded that they were nothing but the product of a hapless young journalist's breathless hyperbole, and would never reach any genuine notoriety or record sales.

Its my regret that i haven't met him since to correct his mistake. He sounds pretty sleazy, by all reports.

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

all accounts would be correct... do not regret not meeting him

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Dr & the Medics opened for Killing Joke on a few occaissions. They were very much their own band, and not a KLF offshoot, I'm reasonably certain.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, you won't get swords past the Guardian's crack security team.

― James Ball (James Ball), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave, what post is beyond classic? Link link link!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Your one about nekkid KE pics... for some reason it made me laugh my head off at work...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Just the one in this thread, or did you find the actual original post with the thing about the pig's heart in a box and the tongue being bitten off?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Who the f*** is Johnny Cigarettes?

Here it is.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i gave up on that thread before that got posted - tres fab indeed!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

N. is right. The Nipper is possibly right.

I don't think the Guardian made much fanfare about AP's arrival.

I think all these press writers are quite poor, but I think I have got used to that by now. I'm perhaps surprised that the antagonists here have not.

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 2 July 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, you won't get swords past the Guardian's crack security team.

Pah - just smile sweetly at the girl in reception with the cool hair whose name I've forgotten. I'm sure she'd be OK about the sword thing.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think the Guardian made much fanfare about AP's arrival.

well i most certainly don't ever expect to get the chance to write a three-page cover story all about me when I start writing for somewhere. maybe that's not a fanfare in your world, but... ;-)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Petredis is an awful writer and it's quite right to keep saying so. The fanfare for his arrival on the Guardian was ridiculous. His review of Electric 6 offended me almost as much as the G2 review of 'Sound of the underground' (not sure if this one was by Petredis).

― Ian SPACK (Ian SPACK), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually Dave I've always found him to be charming, interesting and funny. I don't know him very well (friend of ex boyfriend, used to work in same building), but I do really like him.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 2 July 2003 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

he was friendly to me in interview, but then most interviewee's have an incentive to be nice (a point as a journalist he'll be only too aware of).

anyway everyone's quick to cuss Alexis here, and for that matter it looks like most music journalists, but what would you want from a Guardian music critic? to out NME the NME? be more rawwwwk than Kerrang and take more pills than Mixmag and STILL appeal to leftie 55 yr old Guardian salwarts?

surely it's an impossible job?

― martin (martin), Friday, 4 July 2003 22:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd just like him to have something to say.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 4 July 2003 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

fair enough.

― martin (martin), Friday, 4 July 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

A large section of his audience think it preposterous to even review a Britney Spears record let alone enthuse about it. Give am a break you small-minded err.. cunts.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 4 July 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

funnily enough nick you very much remind me of peter bradshaw

make of that what you will

― Chip Morningstar (bob), Saturday, 5 July 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Which Nick reminds you of Peter Bradshaw?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 5 July 2003 07:34 (twenty-two years ago)

yoooo

― Chip Morningstar (bob), Saturday, 5 July 2003 08:37 (twenty-two years ago)

fite!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 5 July 2003 08:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow. I really like Peter Bradshaw so that's a compliment! Thanks!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 5 July 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

my pleasure

why the fite!

― Chip Morningstar (bob), Saturday, 5 July 2003 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Peter Bradshaw is definitely a cunt (I'm getting into this).

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 5 July 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

no just fite for the sake of it.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 5 July 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

hey kids have you seen this:

6 music 4.00pm - 7.00pm today
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/presenters/bob_harris/
Sitting in for Bob this week is well-known music critic and afficiando Alexis Petridis.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Sunday, 6 July 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Caroline Sullivan actually did some reviews in the arts section of The Guardian this week. Her Good Charlotte review... well, all one can say is "cunt". She talked for The Smiths for about 3/4 of the review, and then said "Good Charlotte might be good. 2 out of 5".

I mean, that style of reviewing sucks when I do it, so what chance has she got?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 6 July 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

It's seems that Boring Bob [=i am tuning off] is on this week, 6music website is rub !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Sunday, 6 July 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually Dave I've always found him to be charming, interesting and funny. I don't know him very well (friend of ex boyfriend, used to work in same building), but I do really like him.

Admittedly, I have only every met him once but that was enough for me. He may have been having a bad day but I honestly did find him incredibly rude (it doesn't help that I believe him to be almost totally devoid of talent as far a writing goes, not to mention intesely irritating either). Apologies for any offence but I'm only taking as I find.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Sunday, 6 July 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always said I think he's not the worst, there are so many worse writers. All he's guilty of is a lack of passion, he doesn't purposely attempt to reaffirm peoples blinkers about certain genres etc. At the same time I know what a weird thing this music writing business is and I can understand how annoying certain writers can be.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 6 July 2003 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

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