Gigs on your own. Sad or Not sad?

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Last gig I went to on my own was Mo Tucker and Sterling Morrison, a fine gig played and a chat with both after the gig.

(only others, Reading festival twice, once back in 1979 when my mate bottled out at the gate with some money his folks had given him for boots, and 1990 when everyone else had left town...)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 13 October 2003 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

sadder than the cinema but not as sad as clubbing alone (unless you make friends/pull like it ain't no thang). i felt sure i'd been to a gig alone but the only time i can think of Beastie Boys at Wembley Arena 5 years ago and that was a freebie...

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 13 October 2003 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Not sad, because you're not obliged to keep an eye out for anyone else, and the enjoyment is all yours.

― Damian (Damian), Monday, 13 October 2003 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

So not sad. I actually used to prefer going to gigs on my own, back when I still enjoyed going to gigs.

The worst thing EVAH is if you go to a gig with a person who doesn't appreciate the band as much as you do and they TALK through the entire performance. People like that should just be shot.

― kate (kate), Monday, 13 October 2003 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"The worst thing EVAH is if you go to a gig with a person who doesn't appreciate the band as much as you do and they TALK through the entire performance. People like that should just be shot."

Alternatively, going to a gig with someone who is having such a bad time they insist on leaving early, and then you (or, rather, me) are dumb enough to leave with them.

― M Carty (mj_c), Monday, 13 October 2003 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Going alone is better, because you can leave whenever you want. In my case that's usually halfway through the first song. Even if the band is great. Why do people insist on talking to me during the noisy bits when they know I'm deaf as a fucking post anyway? I don't answer, so they tap me on the shoulder and yell and spray saliva into my ear. It's gotten so bad that on the rare occasions I see somebody I know at a gig, I avoid them.

― dave q, Monday, 13 October 2003 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

sadder than the cinema but not as sad as clubbing alone

going to the cinema on your own is not sad.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 13 October 2003 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

going to a gig alone isn't sad - but i still wouldn't do it. maybe because some people think it would be sad. i don't know, but I definitely wouldn't think someone else was sad if they did it.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 13 October 2003 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

'going to the cinema on your own is not sad'

i agree - you can't talk to anyone during a film, so cinema is fine to do alone

― Robin Goad (rgoad), Monday, 13 October 2003 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Pee Wee Herman to thread!

― dave q, Monday, 13 October 2003 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Or Gerald Sinstadt

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Monday, 13 October 2003 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

going to gigs on yer own isn't sad at all! i've been to lots of gigs on my own, and had a good time. you don't have to worry abt anyone else, what they think of the band etc etc if yer on yr own.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 13 October 2003 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Sadness scale : Not sad to sad:

1) Clubbing on yr own
2) Gig OYO
3) Cinema OYO

unless professionally (reviewing or free ticket etc)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 13 October 2003 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm psoitive we've done this (or something very like it) before but I'm buggered if I can find it....

Mark, are you / did you once actually live in / around Reading?

I agree with your scale of sadness: clubbing on your own > going to gigs on your own > going to the cinema on your own - but going to a festival on your own is sadder than any of them IMO!

OK, it's essential to be able to ditch your mates for a few hours, see the bands you want to see, and meet up with them again during a festival; but going back to a tent on your own at the end of the evening is seriously sad (been there, done that, got the wrist band!).

Of course if you live near the Festival site and can get home at night (like I do at Reading) it's not so much of an issue....

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Monday, 13 October 2003 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Reading Festival '79 eh? Memories....

http://www.picturesofyou.us/79/79-7-28-nme-sad.jpg

Not as good as '78 of course (where you there then?)

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Monday, 13 October 2003 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

who cares if we've done it before

i assume mark's scale means clubbing alone is 'saddest'? if so i agree and that's what i suggested originally too. going to the cinema alone is the one i am most comfortable doing alone, in fact, it's great. converse;y i have been to a couple of clubs technically on my own and i'm not sure i've ever felt lower to be honest.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 13 October 2003 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Not sad. Gigs and the cinema are about watching something, whereas clubbing is just as much about interacting with the people there as the music. Clubbing on your own (even for work purposes) is deeply, deeply depressing. The few times I've had to I've either left early (sorry Seed Records) or managed to make temporary insta-friends with other people who are also there for work.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 13 October 2003 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually - clubbing festival = lowest of the low. I spent most of Creamfields Ireland 2001 on my own, with no money and it was soul destroyingly awful.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 13 October 2003 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

aw! i nearly went to Tribal Gathering '96 on my own but 'luckily' i was too ill. my brother went tho, sad git, haha!

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 13 October 2003 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I meant clubbing alone as least sad. Theory being you would prob. bump into someone you know, or socialise some. That's my memory anyway.

Gig alone - not so social, but I did get to chat to Mo Tucker and Sterl that time, so beat that one.

Cinema alone seems saddest, but then it's not one I've done...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 13 October 2003 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Homelands last year was brain-razingly vile, not because of the experience of walking round on one's own (it was a lovely day) or the music (Jeff Mills!) but because it was jubilee day, or whatever the fuck it's called, and literally everywhere you looked there were unspeakable bare-chested cunts with fucking George Crosses painted on their bald empty heads. Then I took some drugs and it was better.

As for shows... am I the only person that's frequently ended up going to stuff on his own, out of worrying about subjecting someone he likes to something they'll end up absolutely hating?

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Monday, 13 October 2003 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

clubbing on your own is classic! when i was at school i had to go to everything on my own and had a wicked night. i went to off centre and stayed for 6 hours! i went to see squarepusher at the powerhaus and met his brothers! i didnt have to worry about my friends being tired and wanting to go, or not wanting to dance. in fatc i could dance all the time.
the worst bit it waiting at the side from abotu 10.30 till 11.30, when you are waiting for the dancefloor to fill up so you dont look like a twat. but theres loads of other people doing it. everyone wants to dance but theyre scared of it. i always had to leave any club at 1.00 so eventually i used to start dancing as soon i as i got there, at 10.00!

but yeah, essential festival on yr own sucked ass. especially when the highlights of the festival were terminalhead, us3 and baby fox.
fuck that eh.

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 13 October 2003 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"terminalhead, us3 and baby fox"
:(
:(
:(

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Monday, 13 October 2003 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

ambrose you're a trooper and i salute you

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 13 October 2003 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

cinema isn't a social event!!!! where did this idea come from? insane.

― David. (Cozen), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

All of these sound theoretically acceptable and not sad but somehow not very appealing in practice..
For gigs it mainly depends on your level of interest really. If you're not expecting much or going to discover a band, then turning the whole thing into a social outing seems better. If you're seeing your favourite artist, then you might as well go on your own.

― Baaderist (Fabfunk), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i blame Cannes (x-post)

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

probably more than half the time I go to shows I'm alone. I only have a handful of friends that share some musical interests, and even than, a lot of the bands I go see are ones they've never heard of and probably wouldn't like that much. so rather than try and drag someone along, I just go. I tend to run into people at shows anyway.

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

do you wish you DID have friends with same musical interests to go with or are you really not fussed either way?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The majority of shows that I see are by myself, and I kinda prefer it that way. When I'm with other people, I feel less inclined to just focus on what's happening on stage. I usually have to commute too, so it's just a pain having to deal with other people.

I like meeting and talking to new people at shows. I'll chat with people if I get the chance. I never really feel lonely or anything. For me, I'm just there to see the band play. It's not really a social experience for me. I only ever go to see acts who I really love, so seeing live music is not exactly part of my social life, and I wouldn't want it to be. I prefer the live music experience to be more intense and nerdy.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Dave Q, why would you pay money to see a band and leave after the first song even if they are really good? Are you rich or something? Seems like a waste of money otherwise.

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Stewart, I did not see that poster until now...

It must have been the previous year.. Thin Lizzy, Graham Parker and the rumour, and Aerosmith were about halfway up the bill....

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 13 October 2003 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Only time I soloed a gig, it was a freebie journo assignment (Lemon Jelly). And it was GRATE. Of course, the mate I asked along pussied out-for free. I didn't give a damn when all was said and done. I haven't worked up the nerve/boredom to do the cinema solo however, same goes for solo clubbing-even if we're not together the whole way through, I HAVE to have a friend or more around as I get the 'spotlight effect' badly sometimes.

― Barima (Barima), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i often wind up on my own at gigs, so i've learned not to have a problem with it. i still get a little lonesome at gigs in foreign cities, as the unfamiliar places/languages tend to heighten my sense of isolation. i try to view it as an adventure, and thus inherently good.
going to the cineman alone is amazing. barima, don't be scared!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

As for shows... am I the only person that's frequently ended up going to stuff on his own, out of worrying about subjecting someone he likes to something they'll end up absolutely hating?

-- DJ Mencap (lackofinteres...), October 13th, 2003.

I do that a bit, but it's also cos I usually can't find anyone stupid enough to trick into going to something I know they might hate.

― mei (mei), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"It must have been the previous year.. Thin Lizzy, Graham Parker and the rumour, and Aerosmith were about halfway up the bill...."

It wasn't '78 - '78 was the year Punk took over Reading (well, on the Friday at least!): Automatics, Bethnal, Chelsea, Gruppo Sportivo, Jam, Motors, John Otway, Penetration, Pirates, Radio Stars, Tom Robinson Band, Sham 69, Patti Smith, Squeeze, Ultravox.... headliners on the Sat. were Status Quo and Foreigner and the Ian Gillan Band were on too.

It must have been '77 (I don't remember Graham Parker being there but Thin Lizzy certainly headlined and Aerosmith played along with Hawkwind, The Enid, Uriah Heep, The Sensational Alex Harvey Band, Eddie & The Hot Rods, Golden Earring, The Electric Chairs, Gloria Mundi....)

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

heh, if it wasn't for Barima(nilow) i would've ended up at the Ratpure gig on my jack jones

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

do you wish you DID have friends with same musical interests to go with or are you really not fussed either way?
-- stevem (bluesk...), October 13th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the latter...I wasn't really complaining anyway, I like going to shows alone, unless there's someone I can bring along who I think will really enjoy it, and aren't just tagging along for the social aspect of it. I don't actively persue friendships with indie-type people, that strikes me as kind of shallow and creepy, and even if I did, I don't think a lot of those folks would want to go to the same shows as I do anyway.

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Lauren, my therapist will cure my fear any day now. Thanks for the encouragement, may do that anytime soon.

stevem, please, the weird 31 year olf Norwegian temp-lady who sits next to me already calls me 'Barry'/'Bari'. With this sorta convergence, it must be Monday.

― Barima (Barima), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I went to see the Modey Lemon by myself on Saturday. Anybody I'd have gone with would've gotten their ear talked off on the way there, about how exciting the band is, how they're just, you know, ELECTRIFYING man. Boy am I glad I was alone cause Modey Lemon kind of flopped. I did meet this one guy there. He was also alone. He'd come to see the previous band, Neil's Children. N'sC were kind of simplistic Devo-rock, but maybe I just think that because of the accents. They all sound like the Bozzcocks to me. Anyway that guy said he was in a band, and he wrote down when his gig was for me and everything. He was nice. Then he said he really had to go to the bathroom and I never saw him again. Fucker. I'll get back at him and not come to his show! That'll show HIM!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I end up going to most shows alone because I can't get anyone to go. It doesn't matter much if it's someone I really like, because I get so involved in it that it's kind of a private experience. Even if I go with a friend, I tend to forget about everything that isn't on stage once the music starts. But I always feel awkward before the show starts when everyone is hanging around chatting.

I did convince two of my new coworkers to come to the Carla Bozulich show the other night. They showed up late and I was worried they wouldn't like it, but they were quite converted. That was a good feeling as I hadn't managed to wrangle any of my friends into coming with me. Stupid friends.

― Blood and sparkles (bloodandsparkles), Monday, 13 October 2003 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Met a future girlfriend at a Royksopp show once when I went by myself, so sometimes it can be fun. Most of the time, I feel weird standing around by myself before the show when everyone is socializing. I walk around aimlessly, usually, sipping a drink....alone, so alone. It can be kind of depressing after the gig as well because you have no one to talk to about what you liked or what songs they didn't play, etc.....

I guess I'd prefer to drag someone along even if they have no interest (which is usually the case with my friends). I pay for them anyway so the ingrateful bastards should be appreciative and at least pretend like they are having a good time (and buy me a couple of drinks while they're at it). I know I've done it!

― kickitcricket, Monday, 13 October 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i generally prefer to go by myself, but actually ideal situation = going alone but running into friends once you get there.

― ron (ron), Monday, 13 October 2003 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I go everywhere on my own! Yeah clubbing is pretty dud. I used to be all excited and drink a lot and smile at lots of people and talk and make lots of superficial friends and get laid a lot. I rarely go to a club anymore but if I do I feel like a different person now. As far as shows and films, well it's nice to feel like you're doing something with someone, and you can discuss it afterwards, but really since the majority of shows or films I'd want to see I want to focus fairly seriously on, it's really no big deal going alone. If I didn't live in a city and had to travel to a theater I might feel a little different.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

looking at that Reading 79 poster makes me wonder whatever happened to Bite The Pillow

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I went to see Alexisonfire a few weeks ago. Two weeks, I think. I was alone and the music was so loud that it was hurting my ears and I sat in a chair over on the side, where some other people were sitting. I only wanted to see Alexisonfire and not any of the other stupid bands. The bands on stage kept saying stuff about how the audience wasn't loud enough and stuff and that this was a bad city to have a concert in and then all of these boys up at the front were angry or insulted, I guess, and they started calling them faggots and the people in the band would just say a bunch of other stuff and the boys would keep calling them faggots and a bunch of them had their shirts off. I went and stood outside on the ramp that you walk up to get to the door. There were some girls in a car smoking marijuana. I went inside again but then I left and walked to McDonald's and then I walked home.

― d k (d k), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, if you say 1977, then it must be. I do remember Gloria Mundi, funnily enough...

Late breaking news: I have actually been to the Cinema on my own, I had a holiday in Jersey on my own, recuperating from surgery and being in hospital for the prev. 4 months. I went to see "The Cure in Orange" which was quite good on a large cinema screen (rubbish on a small TV, apparently.)

It was early on in the holiday, after that, met some people, went clubbing etc and that is a very long story....

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 07:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"I do remember Gloria Mundi, funnily enough... "

They weren't exactly a band you'd forget too easily!

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

You need to really trust someone to see a film with them, at least if it's you who suggested it. I can almost feel them not liking it, and it kills my buzz. So alone is better.

Gigs alone are okay, but clubbing... awkward. Specially if you like to drink.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Going to shows alone . . . classic or dud?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I motion that all "Classic or Dud" threads be re-started with the header "Sad or Not Sad?" instead.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

but the answer would be evident in the question

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It is already.

Tony Christie - Sad or Not Sad?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

gigs on your own is cool especially when outrageously drunk. but by those rules, what isn't?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

driving

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Keyhole surgery

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 14 October 2003 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Clubbing on your own is not sad, specially when you are dosed up

― mentalist (mentalist), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

God, anyone who thinks doing anything alone, including sex, is necessarily sad, ain't from my planet.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"gigs on your own is cool especially when outrageously drunk. but by those rules, what isn't?"

"Keyhole surgery"

Depends whether you're the patient or the surgeon, surely?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 07:14 (twenty-one years ago)

http://animatedtv.about.com/library/graphics/drnick.jpg

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

to Homer: "this hypodermic will make your surgery seem like a beautiful dream" (shoots hypodermic into own arm)

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Going to a show or movie alone <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< staying home alone because you couldn't find anyone to go to the show/movie with you.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ((?????))

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Clubbing on your own (even for work purposes) is deeply, deeply depressing.

first dedbeat weekender, deepest of winter in some god-forsaken northern holiday camp. i was reviewing for NME, and the lineup was DEEEElicious, but i was told on the train there that they'd cancelled my photographer for the weekend, would be using agency pix, and that i would, essentially, be there entirely on my own. then discovered that press agents for festival hadn't organised me a chalet on site, but then rustled up a B&B by the coast, a fair 30 minute walk away. I had no expenses, very little money, and was being paid somewhere around £75 for the whole weekend's work.

first night, hung out with some dance journos i got introduced to, but they got hella fucked up in the first few hours and since i didn't take drugs i kinda slipped away, because conversation got very dull and, hey, i guess we weren't there to chat anyway. proceeded to linger wraith-like about the venue with my notepad to hand, and later goot into it enough to just forget my lonesomeness and start dancing and enjoy myself. but was keenly aware, the whole time, that i knew NO ONE ELSE THERE and certainly didn't feel like striking up conversations with complete strangers - though i do wish i was the kind of person who did.

left the venue at around 3am, to get back to my B&B. couldn't find a cab anywhere, and couldn't have afforded it anyway, so attempted to walk back to B&B in just a tee shirt & jeans - no jacket and no hat cos i didn't wanna be dragging a rucksack around. got back to b&B with what i thought to be a mild case of hypothermia - swore i could feel icicles forming in my brain - and got straight in the bed. didn't go back to the venue until late the next night - just walked around the deserted sea side town soaking up the melancholy, and watching old hollywood movies on the broken teevee in the b&b room. the second night was the worst.

day three started late, and there was a bizarre crusty-invasion on the site, but it was hip-hop day so i felt more in my element. still hadn't had a conversation any deeper than "can i have a cod & chips / whiskey" all weekend though, and felt very weird as a result; ended up chatting with TY all the way home, after our train broke down and we coached it all the way back to south london. would never ever do a festival/club on my own again though; being so non-social in such a social enviironment just felt so alienating.

went to the cinema on my own once, felt self-conscious but still enjoyed it, until two of the only other four people in the cinema (NFT) got involved in a punchup with each other... very odd...

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

six years pass...

going to one on my own tonight. friend just bailed out on me and no one else i know likes ariel pink lol. i think its one where i think id actually be happier NOT running into anyone i know. hopefully i wont.

― truffle-flavoured french fry (titchyschneiderMk2), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 14:06 (fifteen years ago)

Off to see Caribou on my own tomorrow. I'm used to it at this stage.

― seandalai, Tuesday, 15 June 2010 22:12 (fifteen years ago)

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