PROBOT ALBUM RELEASED - YOUR THOUGHTS?

I might have to get it just for Dave Grohl playing heavy metal drums.

Here's my review, for the Cleveland Scene. The last sentence needs a modifier to make it seem less clumsy/tacked-on, but that's the editor's fault, not mine.

Anybody see Probot live on Headbangers' Ball this past Saturday night? The lineup was Grohl, some friend of his whose name I can't remember on bass, Wino on guitar, Stephen O'Malley (or maybe it was Gregg Anderson) on second guitar, and Eric Wagner on vocals. They played Wagner's song from the album, and it was pretty good.

Heh, well, there ya go! At least it wasn't in Angel Rat style, that was a bit off.

It's the drummer/mastermind of Voi Vod....who rather incongruously calls himself "Away," although I guess that's better than what the guitarist calls himself, that being "Piggy".

There's one track where it sounds like he is, but it could be just single bass really fast. Anyway, it's a metal album, he really should be doing this anyway. ;)

When he noticed the signal in the cold sky over his mountain lair, Tom Warrior was making fine adjustments to a large machine. He lay down his small wrench and blinked his eyes in disbelief. “It has been a very long time,” he said, turning his gaze towards a formidable but dusty war helmet on the shelf behind him.
At the same moment nearly a dozen time zones away, Eric Wagner dropped his wooden hammer and nodded. Looking at the signal above him, he touched the silver cross around his neck. 2,000 miles yet further west, Max Cavalera closed his knife, set aside his carving, and tightened the strap on his leather wristband. “Woman, fetch me a horse,” he called into the house. “Please.”
Within hours, these three and the few others like them were all gathered in a large circular steel room somewhere on the California coast. The scarlet light of the sinking sun lit the top of the domed glass ceiling, casting weird gleams on a well-equipped war room. Without warning, a large curved computer monitor on the wall crackled to life. Caught by surprise Cronos flew onto the patterned steel floor, his long hair held upright in the static field. “Shit, man!” He cursed, clenching his fists.
The screen filled with the image of a gigantic android whose beveled grey titanium skin was a spiny forest of tiny gleaming spears, wet with an unknown yellow liquid. Mike Dean shuddered and looked away. The steel beast opened its red eyes and fanged mouth, revealing an endless black chasm. “Aaaahhhhhh! You have each heard the call of the Probot – that is GOOD! I am pleased that after so long, so many of you were willing to come. You are brave.”

The big beast cast its gaze across those gathered before it: “You have all been selected for your unique talents and powers…”
“…Cronos of Venom, you were chosen for your mastery of raw iron.”
“…Tom Warrior, you bring your knowledge of machines.”
“…Wino, you are our emissary to the eagles and other birds in the skies.”
“…Max Cavalera, you shall bring the four-legged things to our mission.”
“…Snake, you will show us the tiny microbes we can not see.”
“…Mike Dean, we welcome your contact with plants and organic things.”
“…Kurt Brecht, you are the word of living man.”
“…Eric Wagner, you are an oracle to prophecies to come.”
“…Lee Dorrian, you will remind us of the folly and fantasies of ghosts from the past.”
“…and King Diamond, you are the conduit to the spirit realms.”
Each of the ten titans grunted when identified, in coarse tones as distinct as the notes on a musical scale.
“…And Lemmy –“ the imposing being stammered, “-- well, you’re just so fucking cool!”
All eleven were stunned by this last gushing outburst. Snake noticed a long blue cable, tracing its path from the screen to a closed door on the nearby wall. “I discover your avatar!” he pointed and cried.
On the screen, the creature slumped. “Hold on, hold on…” came a small voice.
After some clicking of locks, a slight figure in a Motorhead T-shirt jogged into the room. Offering a friendly wave, he thrust his hands in his jeans pockets, smiled and said. “Hey guys, I’m Dave Grohl. Sorry for all the fuss. I had to be sure you were with me on this. I’m really bad with rejection.”
“Oh Jesus,” Lemmy muttered, rolling his eyes and pulling on his chin.
The boyish man in the sneakers continued: “Hold on, I’m serious about this all Probot stuff. We are living in crisis, and I’ve been turning to your teachings all the time. It’s not just me -- there are a lot of people out here in Hollywood who feel the way I do. We rule the world, but we’re fucking it up. Look around this room. We are choking on all of this technology, and I’m turning to you now to fix things. Seriously.”
Now confident, he handed each man a black envelope containing a digital disc and the keys to a 20th Century automobile. “Each of you has a mission to complete. I hope agree to complete your part, because our reality needs you bad. You can be sleeping giants no more.”
Suddenly, a loud clattering came and a pile of shields and staffs spilled to the ground. A rotund figure with a speckled beard kicked and sputtered, his pink monkey tail curling up behind him. “A spy falls amongst us!” snarled Lee Dorrian, reaching for his blade.
Dave Grohl laughed and shook his head. “Oh Jack Black – I can’t keep a secret from you after all! Yes, I guess I have a mission for you as well, my old friend,” he said, producing a final package from his back pocket and handing it to the interloper.
Everyone laughed together. As soon as drinks were procured, they held the gleaming discs high above their heads and shouted in unison: “Now we are all Probot! We rule the day and the night!”

On the screen behind them, the mighty robot smiled, and through his razor lashes gave a wink that cracked open the sky.

-- as told to Ian Christe

Wait, Kurosawa is dead, isn't he? There goes that idea...

Oh Alex, I have the Japanese edition of Killing Joke the 2003 album. It has two bonus songs. It doesn't have "Wardance" on it though. I was just courious and wanted to know if you have it? You might not.

(and no, I didn't note any double bass)

Ed. note: Read the legend! Nuf sed,

I thought Tom Araya was going to be on here. And maybe I was wrong about the new guy from Sepultura. Isn't the guy from DRI here too?? Thats cool at least.

Just those kids who haven't heard Voivod - especially the late 80's stuff which I'm sure is what Dave liked. To me their music was decent but it hasn't stood the test of time at all. I can still hear that Snake guys voice "it goes on and on and on ..... please ..... no .... (weird riff)" I thought Dave was into DEATH METAL.

What's wrong with liking Voivod? Nothingface = classicclassicclassic

Tom Araya - and Glenn Danzig - are glaring ommissions, I agree. But the album rulz.

I thought the bonus track was Tenacious D?!???!

Voivod was OK. Dimension Hatross was better than Nothingface if I HAD to pick one.

He said it was one of his favorite types. He never said he hated metal. I think his favorite was punk, mainly from DC.

Testament got pretty shitty round Souls of Black, and have not really recovered.

Come on man get with it - death to false metal!

Damn, man. I mean, everyone has their own standards and takes but in what universe is something like Dimension: Hatross or Nothingface not heavy?

I listened to "Chaosmongers" about a year ago and just laughed. Not heavy - I mean the guitars are always on some high-note run and everyone is just doing some not-that-heavy stuff. Sorry, I don't like em.

Yes, I like Slayer. I think they're heavy. More importantly, since they are a hardcore metal band, they are agressive. Reign In Blood is better than Sacred Reich, Testament, and Voivod's entire careers combined.

That Burn 7" is still awesome. "We have killed...and...shall be...judged..." pity Orange 9mm sucked so hard. I used to see Chaka skateboarding all the time.

Mucky Pup?

That book American Hardcore (which, overall, isn't great) has some good chapters on NYHC - tho it makes us noo Yawk boyz look like mindless thugs in direct contrast to the hifalootin men of principle in DC

I broke two wrists at Biohazard / Kreator at The Red Spot - one of my first shows

I hear Life of Agony is back together. hmmm

gotta hit the sack. later man

Got it, Aja (actually, I had two copies for a while), but thanks.

I've heard the Tony Iommi solo album mentioned upthread. Don't remember much about it, but it wasn't painful to listen to or anything (unlike, say, The Eternal Idol). I got to interview him right around then, because Sabbath were gonna be on Ozzfest and Alternative Press was doing the tour book. I don't care how jaded you think you are, when Tony Iommi calls you at your house, you're 14 years old again.

My favorite NYHC band was Breakdown. That cassette demo they put out was just so fucking great. "Sick People" is still one of my favorite hardcore songs ever.

My promo copy of the Probot CD doesn't have the bonus track, and that makes me happy. I hate Jack Black.

In any event, my fave would be NYC's own proto-hardcore band, KRAUT!

(mega time delay x-post)

I knew some guys in a local, early 90s metal band who actually worshipped Sanctuary as their primary influence. I wonder if I still have that Into the Mirror Black cassette lying around anywhere.

I like the School Violence demo circa '86 that begins: "Hi, we're School of Violence from New York City..."

The cow has to be exhumed and resurrected first.

I haven't gotten that far though.

How wonderful. Now I can rip off Dave Grohl anytime I want!

Here's a quick cheat sheet to further study with this Probot thing:

1. Centuries Of Sin ( W/Cronos) : Venom - Black Metal
2. Red War ( W/ Max Cavalera) : Sepultura - Arise
3. Shake Your Blood ( W/ Lemmy) : Motörhead - Overkill
4. Access Babylon ( W/ Mike Dean) C.O.C. - Animosity
5. Silent Spring ( W/ Kurt Brecht) : D.R.I. - Dealing With It
6. Ice Cold Man ( W/ Lee Dorrian) : Cathedral - Forest of Equilibrium / Napalm Death - Peel Sessions
7. The Emerald Law ( W/ Wino) : Saint Vitus - Born Too Late
8. Big Sky ( W/ Tom G. Warrior) : Celtic Frost - To Mega Therion
9. Dictatorsaurus ( W/ Snake) : Voïvod - Dimension Hatross
10. My Tortured Soul ( W/ Eric Wagner) : Trouble - The Skull
11. Sweet Dreams ( W/ King Diamond) : Mercyful Fate - Melissa
12. (exclusive bonus hidden track) : Mr. Show DVD - "Jeepers Creepers, Semi-Star"

I do love the way they got that nasty "Animosity" sound on Mike Dean's voice. And thank fucking god Pepper Keenan didn't have anything to do with this.

And I'm still looking forward to hearing the one with Lee Dorian although I much prefer Barney as a Napalm Death singer.

I'm not going to even say anything about Voivod this time....

What's wrong with Pepper?

This might be my favorite.

Not sure yet.

How come nobody's mentioned that the lyrics to the Kurt Brecht song are some of the worst lyrics written by anyone ever? I meaa, I love Dealing With It (and even parts of Crossover) and generally hold DRI in high regard (except that "Gun Control" song - yech) but the lyrics to this song are so unbelievably awful, I actually can't believe they made it onto the record.

I thought "Modern World" was brilliant lyrically just cause of the way they went with the title of the song. Simple but smart.

http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0418/smith.php

I think Jonny Badlees needs to hear Voivod on acid and tell us all if he still thinks they suck! God damn, I can't believe he thinks Slayer, Sepultura and Sacred Reich are better bands.

Sad. I would hate to be the brain behind those ears.

Just saw this album again, while looking for something else. What WAS he thinking? Sure, it was a good idea on paper, but... - or is it better than I think?

oh ok, here's that video again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T09hBGGpSjk