"The Average ILMer"

- hates indie rock/undie rap
- overrates some pop music
- thinks Outkast is mediocre
- alt country = no good
- Pitchfork: Worse than Rolling Stone
- Christgau = Shakespeare

but that's just a general stereotype that has no relation to reality, right guys?

right? =[

Thank you -- check's in the mail.

prone to sweeping generalizations
slightly cliquish
prone to overreliance on lit criticism as model for music criticism
secretly agrees with c/man
doesn't shave as much as they should (male or female)
in denial about JT's utter craptitude
thinks Thor could whoop Superman's butt

i also get the impression most ilmers loath any music writting that is not their own.

Don't come at me with your pop-freudisms!!!

Oh, then the phrasing was perfectly accurate:

http://www.markglinsky.com/tull2.jpg

Are we going by international fixed standards here?

New York City is for sellouts

"without"

X = MC squared.

JAMES TAYLOR AND THE ORIGINAL FLYING
MACHINE?

But I might be projecting here, or something.

YAY!

Apparently, there are morons out there who count oral like a good old fashioned screw

So I guess you haven't gotten a good blowjob yet. ;-)

Just turned thirty.

Has had sex with around five people.

Uh, closer to a dozen.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot

Social drinker and pot smoker. I drop an E maybe once every 2-3 months. Didn't try drugs or indulge in any hangover-inducing drinking until my late 20s.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

Day job: Selling and tech-supporting digital audio workstations (Pro Tools, Logic Audio, Apple computers, etc.).

Freelance job: All-purpose digital musician and producer. I've done everything from commercial jingles to house remixes. Yes, I get paid.

Out of shape.

Reasonably slim at the moment, but want to drop a couple of inches off my tummy and firm up.

In debt/still paying student loans.

Killed off my student loan (finally) last year. I have a couple of debts (one credit card, plus one credit line thru bank for financing equipment), but nothing I can't handle.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

Didn't care about Lollapalooza when it was a twentysomething rite of passage, and barely blinked when it got cancelled.

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

Yeah, and I still do (wear 'em and decry 'em, that is). Isn't that the fun of it?

Born between 1973 - 1979

1974.

Has a blog

No, I prefer semi-autobiographical message board ramblings.

...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs.

No, I'm relatively late to the party that is ILM.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area.

Beautiful downtown Toronto.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion.

No. Although I have a soft spot for "Monkey Gone To Heaven".

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously.

What, that Christgau wrap-up thingy? Nah.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme.

Sometimes, yeah.

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]

No, I dorked out on Pitchfork for about a week after I found out about it, but on the whole, it's a little too indie-fixated for me.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women.

Guilty. (???!!!)

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield.

"Chime" blew my mind when I was fifteen. All three acts are OK by me, but I was never a hardcore fan - when they were huge, I was more into things like deep house, d'n'b, and the emerging UKG scene.

Still listens to Joy Division Apart from the "hit(s)"

I'm only really familiar with their best-known stuff, like "Love Will Tear Us Apart" and "She's Lost Control". I like them but am a little too young too have been a fan. New Order, however, are another story. I bought "Bizarre Love Triangle" on 7-inch vinyl as a kid - that was a pivotal moment for me.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers

Haven't read it recently at all. Can't comment.

So, whaddya think? Do I fit the profile?

just turned 19

Has had sex with around five people.

Five is correct

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot

Yes to all

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

Kind of.

Out of shape.

too thin. So i guess so.

In debt/still paying student loans.

not yet

Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

Nope

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

Everything i do is for the furtherence of irony.

Born between 1973 - 1979

1985

Has a blog

Ish

...which links almost exclusively to other ILMer blogs.

---

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area.

small village

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion.

I saw them at a festival if that counts.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously.

Only found out what that is just now.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme.

Sometimes

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]

Not anymore

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women.

Yes!

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield.

I prefer 80s house. I like Orbital though.

Still listens to Joy Division Apart from the "hit(s)"

From time to time. But i still love the so called "hits".

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers

Hyberbolic rubbish, aimed at 30 somethings. Only loser type teenagers read this.

I've been a bystander for about a year...was too intimidated to post. God knows why.

Has had sex with around five people -- Much more.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. -- Sure.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry --- I'm a med student.

Out of shape --- I'm actually deeply into weightlifting.

In debt/still paying student loans forever --- Nope.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza what is a lollapalooza? --- Always have lived here in El Salvador, Central America... so no.

Born between 1973 - 1979 --- No, born in 1984.

Has a blog --- Sure.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area --- Sorta.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion --- Nope.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously --- Don't even know what that means.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme --- Nope.

Reads Pitchfork daily --- Nope.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] --- Definitely.

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. --- I don't like any of the aforementioned bands, but I do like Autechre and early AFX.

Still listens to Joy Division --- No.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers --- Well, now that you say it, I agree.

busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever --- Nope.

busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative --- No.

doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing")--- No.

One thing about this question I'd like to point out: it should be shortened Thinks NME these days is rubbish. Originally it was just that, but somebody incorporated Haibun's answer into the question, rendering it sort of confusing, and everybody (myself included) has been repeating this in their responses.

Has had sex with around five people: haha, no one who knows me will be surprised that it is more than that.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot: yes.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry: yes, I'm a systems analyst.

Out of shape: no. Muscly, almost no fat.

In debt/still paying student loans forever: no, lots of money.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza what is a lollapalooza? No.

Born between 1973 - 1979: two decades out.

Has a blog: nope, unless you count Freaky Trigger, which is clearly not mine.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area: yes, London.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion: good lord no. I wouldn't go to see them if they were playing in my back garden, if I had such. If they tried it, I would call the police.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously: pay no attention to it at all.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme: yes.

Reads Pitchfork daily: never.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women]: yes.

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. Yes - I have just about everything all three ever did.

Still listens to Joy Division: Still have the records (I even saw them live) but it's years since I played them.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers: don't particularly go along with the last clause, but I did give it up years ago.

busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever: I like the first two, though 'busts a nut' overstates it, love the third, don't much care about the fourth.

busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative: good grief no.

doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing"): Absolutely not. A large proportion of my favourites (soul, punk, rock & roll, old R&B...) were before then, and I know quite a lot about some of that.

Has had sex with around five people: I forget everything that happened before I got married.

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot: Drinks, no cigs, yes pot.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry: More and more tangential as time goes by.

Out of shape: Not bad for my age, though far from my athletic prime.

In debt/still paying student loans: Yes/ N/A

Attended at least one Lollapalooza: No.

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts: Wore Kiss T-shirt at height of punk late 70s. Later jumped on the anti-irony bandwagon.

Grew up in a suburb of a major city: Yes, if Cincinnati counts.

Born between 1973 - 1979: Theoretically, I could have fathered a child during these years. Only in theory!

Has a blog: No.

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area: NYC.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion: Had enough of 'em in the 80s. Never my idea of a "lively" live band. I liked their records.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously: Not even when I voted.

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme: Have done a few times.

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone: No.

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women: Yes, but I'm a sensitive modern guy.

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield: Prefer Ultramarine and Underworld (ducks)

Still listens to Joy Division: Recently for the first time in years.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish: Haven't read it since early 80s.

Busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever: NO.

Alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative: FUCK NO.

Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing"): Actually I don't know all that much about music released after 1999. A situation I'm trying to remedy.

Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin: Wrote a few things for Select tho I'm an American, and enjoyed reading it. Never liked Spin.

Has had sex with around five people: way more (i'm a ho)

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot: yes, smoke when I wanna relax, pot every now and then.

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry: nope.

Out of shape: slightly out of shape and lazy.

In debt/still paying student loans: nope

Attended at least one Lollapalooza: nope

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts: what?

Grew up in a suburb of a major city: Suburb yes, major city not that much.

Born between 1973 - 1979: yep

Has a blog: yep

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area: Middle sized, boring as fuck town.

Has got tickets for The Pixies Reunion: fuck pixies.

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously: didnt even know that existed until recently. what I did see was as generic as most lists except mine ;)

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme: i'm starting to detest comp cd's with a passion.

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone: yep, dont always disagree/agree

Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women: yep

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield: Not that much of a chemical bros and leftfield fan

Still listens to Joy Division: of course.

Thinks NME these days is rubbish: read it once, never felt the need again.

Busts a nut for grime/crunk/big and rich/every kompakt release ever: nope

Alternately, busts a nut for vh1 classic's the alternative: nope

Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 ("not that that's a bad thing"): I know everything.

Read Select magazine in the early/ mid 90s [if British] or if American - Spin: not familiar with those.

he's a cunt

24-35. Just about 26
Has had sex with around five people. Sorry, slightly fewer.
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot Drinks yes. Haven't toked the peace pipe in two or three years.
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. Tangentially to journalism, I guess
Out of shape. A little
In debt/still paying student loans. Free and clear.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza.Nope. I DID go to the Tibetan Freedom Concert one year though.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. Sure. I have a shirt I wear often that says "Classic Grandpa" in Coca-Cola style script. But I also like it because I actually think of myself as an old man. I also have a pro-abstinance tee-shirt "I'm Worth The Wait" that I've never actually had the guts to wear in public. I'm still in favor of occasional ironic t-shirts, but they should be very carefully selected for content and make up only a small percentage of one's wardrobe.
Grew up in a suburb of a major city Sorry, DC proper.
Has a blog Nevah evah. I dislike "the blogosphere".
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. Jersey City is like all three man.
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. Never gave two shits about the Pixies. But I was psyched that my friends in The Capitol Years got an opening slot.
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. Couldn't care less about it.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. Nope
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] Rarely read it.
Male [let's face there a more men on ILM than women] Uh huh.
Still listens to Joy Division "Still". Nope, more like never.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers I've read it like once. I had never heard of NME before I came to this board.
Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979 That's like 75% of what I know about.

My theory is that his place is just really 8 friends signing in with different screennames, going back and forth about music as if they're opinions are actually valid to the outside world. Every so often an outsider will chime in, but I'm convinced the meat of this board consists of the opinions of a small few.

24-35. 44.
Has had sex with around five people. Not even close. Such a slut in the 1990s.
Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot All of that.
Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry. Both, though only the former pays.
Out of shape. Fractionally.
In debt/still paying student loans. Good wage, rich partner, sorry.
Attended at least one Lollapalooza. No, and no outdoor festivals, unless you count Oasis at Knebworth.
Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts. Regularly wear a glow-in-the-dark Camembert Electrique T-shirt to gigs, with some mildly ironic intent. Do not decry them on others.
Grew up in a suburb of a major city. Grew up in dreary village in the arse end of nowhere, nestling in the shade of the local slag-heap.
Has a blog. Yes - regularly updated for the past 5 years.
Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area. Only during the week.
Has tickets for the Pixies reunion. Saw The Breeders once; that's it.
Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously. Faintly bemused by all those who do.
Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme. Rarely, and only as presents.
Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone] It barely features on my radar. If I want that sort of thing, I'll go to Stylus.
Male Oh, frightfully male.
Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield. Yes, but not actively. Fond memories and all that.
Still listens to Joy Division. Still keeps meaning to, like, reallly listen to Joy Division. Never quite gets around to it. Their music hangs over me like an overdue coursework assignment.
Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers. Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that - but I am generationally obliged to mourn its fate, obviously.
Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979. I tail off before 1969, and splutter to a standstill before 1959.

or am I?

YES -on the liberal side of many issues.
YES -is in college or has a degree.
YES -at least occasionally takes music too seriously.
YES -has traveled more than 4 hours for some musical purpose.
YES -has owned at least 500 cds, cassettes, or lps... but more likely has owned greater than 1000.
YES -is fairly computer literate.
YES -likely to have heard the next big thing before it is the next big thing.
YES -buys or downloads at least 5 records a month.
YES -knows someone at least marginally famous (or knows someone who knows someone.)

^ that profile was the most spot-on for me

...has a beard

and I have a beard.

http://www.blog.mediaprojekte.de/wp-content/wp-filez/rails_bootcamp_peoples.jpg

20, I'm a young'un

Has had sex with around five people.

Unfortunately, no

Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot.

Drinks socially, no tobacco, pot, hard drugs

Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.

The latter, I guess

Out of shape.

Fit as ever

In debt/still paying student loans.

No, but probably soon.

Attended at least one Lollapalooza.

Nope

Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.

I don't think so

Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

Ugh.

Has a blog.

I never write in it

Lives in a City / large suburban commuter town/ urban area.

Yeah

Has tickets for the Pixies reunion.

Never heard them

Takes Pazz & Jop far too seriously.

No

Makes nerdy CD-R compilations on a theme.

Nope

Reads Pitchfork daily [even though they may disagree with the overall tone]

You got me

Male

That is so

Likes 90s dance music such as Orbital, The Chemical Brothers and Leftfield.

I like the Chembruhs alright. Don't know the other two.

Still listens to Joy Division.

Never heard them

Thinks NME these days is rubbish aimed at teenagers.

Never read it

Doesn't actually know all that much about music released before 1979.

Fair enough, but I try

I'm good little librul

-is in college or has a degree.

In

-at least occasionally takes music too seriously.

If I didn't, why would I be here?

-has traveled more than 4 hours for some musical purpose.

No

-has owned at least 500 cds, cassettes, or lps... but more likely has owned greater than 1000.

Workin' on it

-is fairly computer literate.

Sure

-likely to have heard the next big thing before it is the next big thing.

I'm always late to everything

-buys or downloads at least 5 records a month.

If I bought only 5 records a month I'd have a lot more money

-knows someone at least marginally famous (or knows someone who knows someone.)

I know Kenny Loggins' nephew