ASK THE GHOST OF DAN PERRY

What is your assessment of Björk's singing ability? Cause I saw J0hn Darn13113 slag it, but I don't trust him as much as you on such matters.

always,
-m.

'Bamas.

Also, would you ever consider joining a future cast of The Amazing Race?

IN A HEARTBEAT (in fact the wife and I have been having semi-serious chats about auditioning)

And thirdly, Kelly Clarkson's latest smash single, do I have a definitive judgement on her vocal performance from you? Could you make one?

Kelly's singing on "Since U Been Gone" is really outstanding:

1) The rock-pop vibe is a great fit for the smoky rasp in her chest voice.
2) When she flips into head voice on the bridge it's like the heavens opened up and Jane Wiedlin smiled down on top-40 radio.
3) It's really nice hearing her sing in a unornamented style for a change and showcases the versatility that American Idol self-selects for.

Bleah. How much money? Does it have to be open-mouthed? BLEAH!

Who would you rather make out with: an N'Sync-er or a Backstreet Boy, and which one?

How much money is involved here? It had better be a gigantic tractor-trailer full of money. I would kiss any of them for gigantic fuck-off piles of money but it would be the cringiest, most unsexy man-man kissing you will have ever seen. BLEAH.

Initially when I began posting to these boards, you seemed reluctant to talk about your past Minneapolisness. You have since become one of the more outspoken Minneapolitans (past or present) in talking about our shared hometown. I'm wondering, was there any particular reason for this change, or was I just misreading you early on?

best, Matos

Will you get the chance to visit NYC on the weekend of Mar. 25 to 27, when I will be in town?

Ned

I think you were misreading me! I've always been super-amped about being from the Twin Cities area (I grew up just south of Hastings, so I'm not Really from the Cities and, if I were to claim one, it would be St. Paul) and I've been known to bend people's ears about it IRL quite a bit. Another factor is that there's a large group of people on ILX whom I've known online for 10+ years (WOW THAT JUST SUNK IN WOW) and have shared personal info with in the past, so as I've gotten to know/meet them in real life it just becomes less important for me to guard my privacy about where I grew up; if I was really that concerned about it, I wouldn't post 3/4 the shit I post to these groups!

Oh my God I just realized that I spent 16 years living outside of Hastings and at the end of this year I will have spent 14 years living in Boston. YIKES DOES NOT COMPUTE DIVIDE BY ZERO ERROR TOO FUCKING OLD

I am singing a concert at church that weekend, so no. :-(

You could all daytrip up to Boston on Sunday and come hear me sing a solo that's too high for me, though! :-) :-0 :-( :-( :-( :-(

Could you please frame that in the form of a question?

I am not sure! I'd really like to!

I'm sorry! I was busy scrolling up and down and missed it!

What is your assessment of Björk's singing ability? Cause I saw J0hn Darn13113 slag it, but I don't trust him as much as you on such matters.

Bjork's voice is an acquired taste, largely because of the big gigantic tremor in the middle of it and the way her accent affects her vowels. I never really thought of her as a "singer" until I heard Gling Go in a record store, at which point I went from thinking, "She has an odd voice that I find compelling" to "OH MY GOD I FUCKIN LOVE THE WAY SHE SINGS". There are instinctual things she does with phrasing and monosyllabics that's really breath-taking; listen to the way she sells songs like "Possibly Maybe", "Bachelorette", "Pump", "Birthday", "Venus As A Boy", "Scatterheart", "Oceania" and "Aurora", it's fucking fantastic. I can't say enough good things about the power, the control, the passion, the emotion and the general technique (after what, sixteen years of being on the scene she has yet to lose range, pitch or flexibility in her instrument; meanwhile, listen to the wear you can hear on people like Pink and Xtina after only 6 years). She's marvelous.

When it comes to making out which do you prefer?

Bobby Brown "Rock Wit'cha"
Ralph Tresvant "Sensitivity"
BBD "Do Me"

When it comes to making out which do you prefer?

Bobby Brown "Rock Wit'cha"
Ralph Tresvant "Sensitivity"
BBD "Do Me"

Ralph Trresvant every day of the week. Bobby Brown has turned himself into anti-Viagra with his Whitney shenanigans and my wife doesn't like to belly-laugh while making out so BBD is a no-go.

that's okay The Ghost of Dan Perry! thanks!

Prince no longer sings his songs that have swearing or extremely sexual imagery. If you could get him to sing 10 truly naughty songs from his discography (in their entirety, no medleys) for a VIP party, which would 10 would they be? And in what order would you have him perform them?

Your fan,
Anthony

Prince no longer sings his songs that have swearing or extremely sexual imagery. If you could get him to sing 10 truly naughty songs from his discography (in their entirety, no medleys) for a VIP party, which would 10 would they be? And in what order would you have him perform them?

1. "Come"
2. "Head"
3. "Erotic City"
4. "Tamborine"
5. "International Lover"
6. "Do Me, Baby"
7. "Ripopgodazippa"
8. "Lady Cab Driver"
9. "Let's Pretend We're Married"
10. "Jack U Off"

What is the best song about Jesus Christ?

a large group of people on ILX whom I've known online for 10+ years (WOW THAT JUST SUNK IN WOW)

ONE OF US. Remember 1995? Uh, yeah.

Dear the Ghost of Dan Perry,

I regret I cannot make the trip up to Boston and back on the Sunday since that is the day I fly back. I weep. But if as has been mooted there is some sort of massive gathering in summer in NYC coinciding with the visit of H. from Addis Adaba, would you be up for that?

Ned

Who would win in a game of one-on-one basketball between you and Prince? What if it was him ... and the Revolution against you and some of your friends?

Cheers,

MiR

it is astonishing (having seen him six months ago) how much GREBT stuff is left over

A few of us have met your wife (Joie, is that spelled right? I always forget), notably at the Boston FAP a couple years ago, and she is very funny and direct. What, if anything, does she make of the shenanigans in ILx? Does she voice much of an opinion in the matter, or does she treat the boards with a kind of indulgent shrug?

best, Matos

I know (easily the best arena show I've ever seen)! Though sometimes he cheats by playing the safe bits of certain songs in his countless medleys.

did nitzer ebb really rip off daf? or is that merely a music critic meme?

yours,

braille.

The ones that instantly spring to mind:

Frank Martin - "Mass For Double Choir"
Johannes Brahms - "Ein Deutsches Requiem"
Johann Sebastian Bach - "Komm, Jesu, Komm"
Johann Sebastian Bach - "Jesu, Meine Freude"
Depeche Mode - "Personal Jesus"

I regret I cannot make the trip up to Boston and back on the Sunday since that is the day I fly back. I weep. But if as has been mooted there is some sort of massive gathering in summer in NYC coinciding with the visit of H. from Addis Adaba, would you be up for that?

Yes! I have no idea what my singing schedule is yet, though.

Who would win in a game of one-on-one basketball between you and Prince? What if it was him ... and the Revolution against you and some of your friends?

Prince is a baller! The game would go to the blouses.

A few of us have met your wife (Joie, is that spelled right? I always forget), notably at the Boston FAP a couple years ago, and she is very funny and direct. What, if anything, does she make of the shenanigans in ILx? Does she voice much of an opinion in the matter, or does she treat the boards with a kind of indulgent shrug?

She spells it Joei and she is indulgent in the same way that a harried parent is indulgent of his/her four-year-old's obsession with the Teletubbies. She is much nicer about it now that she's actually met some of you folks and has liked everyone face-to-face (she is wary about online communication because her particular brand of sarcasm comes across as being really mean and spiteful, therefore she tries avoids it).

did nitzer ebb really rip off daf? or is that merely a music critic meme?

I wouldn't say it's "merely" a music critic meme; there are some pretty strong parallels there through at least the first three Nitzer Ebb albums. At some point NE got a lot poppier, though.

given your love for all things ebm, have you listened to david carrettas "kill your radio" album, and if so, what did you think of it

I have not! I really want to now that' you've mentioned it and described it as EBM, though.

ANSWER MY QUESTION, DAN

I ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION FOUR MONTHS AGO

I know nothing about any of these albums but after completely digging TV On The Radio I am now open to any recommendation ILM wants to throw at me!

i realise my opinion is specifically not sought by this thread, but i like to help out where i can.

dan perry how you get so fine?

The Good Life
The Cactus Club
The Pour House
Cambridge Brewing Co/Johnny Flattop's

What song are you dancing to in that picture? If you can't remember, make something up.

B

1. Lucky genetics
2. A reasonable diet
3. I paid attention to the home ec class about choosing clothes that suit you even if I did ignore "the rules" during college due to being poor.
4. My wife won't let me leave the house if I look bad.

What song are you dancing to in that picture? If you can't remember, make something up.

It was probably one of the following:

A mashup of "Somebody Told Me" over "Rock The Casbah".
Busta Rhymes - "Dangerous"
A mashup of a now-forgotten vocal over the Armand Van Helden remix of "Spin Spin Sugar".
A remix of House of Pain's "Jump Around"

What are some good tips to "choosing clothes that suit you"?

Signed,
Pleasant Plains, American Heterosexual

2. If you feel like you are too thin/tall, wear horizontal stripes. If you feel you are too fat/short, wear vertical stripes.

3. Contrasting colors make your outfit stand out. One of the reasons I wore that bright shirt with a dark suit was because of the suit's vest; I already had a block of darkness from my neck to my feet in my outfit and I wanted to wear a shirt that would offset that (also see my point #1).

4. GOOD FIT IS URGENT AND KEY, ESPECIALLY IN A SUIT. If your suit is not tailored to your body, it will never look right.

5. Expanding on point #2, you should really know your body type. I used to wear a lot of pleated pants before realizing that being short and liking baggy clothing meant that pleats would make me look fat and dumpy as opposed to comfortable. I only do flat-front pants now because of this. Likewise, short-sleeved button-up shirts don't look right on me unless they're oversized and monochromatic (perhaps the sole exception is my bowling shirt with the twin dragons on it).

6. Hair matters. If I don't have a clean head or really short hair, I look like a complete disaster because my hair is really fucking awful and unmanageable. If your hairstyle doesn't suit your face, your clothes may not even matter.

Well, yes.

(xpost: Hahaha! Okay, but I kind of hate shopping unless I know exactly what I'm looking for.)

(ps vertical stripes)

Hi Dan, longtime listener/first time caller here. Would you care to shatter a longtime ILM myth by citing some musicians whose works Mr. Ned Raggett and yourself disagree upon, (perceived-)quality-wise? I know of at least two: Talking Heads, Poison. Surely there are others. I invite you to name a few!

Hi Dan and Ned!

Have you ever been to Scotland?

If so, I forgive you for ruining my joke here:

hip hip hooray to ALLY AND TOM on their magical wedding day!!

No Doubt/Gwen Stefani would be another big one.

Have you ever been to Scotland?

Yes! The BSO went to Edinburgh in August 2001 and took 80 members of the choir along; both Joei and I got to go. (We also hit Luebbeck, Lucerne and London; the London leg led to an awesome karaoke night with a bunch of the London ILXors.)

Ned got Gene Simmons, I got Gene Kelly.

Actually, Gene Simmons vs. Jean Simmons.

I'm sure Sean is photoshopping it this very second.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

In fact they are awesome-colored. I do understand ancient fears about the cuse of the evil eye now, though.

You are more than welcome to praise Satan's ballsweat.

harvard vs. minnesota, both have already upset a higher seed to get to the second round -- who do you root for

Uhoh