Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Mr. Schreiber?

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There are not words. From his insipid Arcade Fire interview, a lesson in non-journalism, nepotism, and other unflattering "n" words:

Pitchfork: It's pretty weird that we keep getting tied together in the press. Like, a lot of the features I've read on the Arcade Fire mention Pitchfork and vice versa.

Pitchfork: It's really funny. It's like we can't exist independently in the press. I mean, are you as sick of that as we are?

Pitchfork: I suppose people need their angle. But I almost just feel bad for you guys. Like we tend to get really carried away when we love a record, and while that tends to help a lot of bands we think deserve attention, there can also be negative repercussions if we go too nuts.

Pitchfork: On some level, it does suck for us to love a record, praise it, and than have it be instantly perceived as overexposed by some people. But to me, it's an incredible record that would have been going places regardless of what we said or did.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

its better if you imagine the entire interview being conducted with a butt plug inserted into Ryan's behind.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

It's also better if we refrain from bellicose crap like that...although I can understand your rage.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

So who's gonna be Jann S. Guccione Jr.'s Mick Jagger?

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not entirely convinced you know the meaning of that word you just used Chris.

Or if you do then you misread the point of what i said.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

You would have a lot of explaining to do to make a point out of a comment that juvenile and tasteless, Hari.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

way to have your cake and eat it too, chris!

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"yes I did call your interview insipid, Ryan, but I sure didn't reference no buttplug."

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, inspid is definitely in the same ballpark. Solid.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

pfork bashing to pfork defending in five posts! solid!

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Cake-eating /= butt-plugging.

― briania (briania), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

so is this part of psf's combative marketing campaign or is it just you being snarky? (assuming there's a difference, of course)

― rentboy (rentboy), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It's me being offended on a variety of levels, including, yes, the border-professional "music writing" one.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

c'mon, give us some full disclosure, dawg!

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean wtf you were there when he wrote all the time! what's with the shock and surprise!

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you stop posting miccio? It's kind of clogging things up. Thanks.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

that was a rotten interview, ott is right... boring and self-promoting.

― hiphopster8 (hiphopster8), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Stupid Boy!

― Captain Mainwaring, Monday, 14 February 2005 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't it kind of bad form to publicly trash the site you used to write for, on grounds that the writing sucks?

― daria g (daria g), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

did the wonderfully named ott get fired from pitchfork?

― debden, Monday, 14 February 2005 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

CHRIS OTT IN PITCHFORK SHOCK AND AWE PROMOTION CAMPAIGN

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

PITCHFORK FINALLY FINDS USE FOR PREVIOUSLY USELESS JOURNALIST

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

and other unflattering "headlines"

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yr turn next pissboy

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

jason gross says in his blog that the village voice writers are being pressured to be like pitchfork. that's a scary thought. they should stop writing professionals and instead make every piece about them and their own self-importance.

― hiphopster8 (hiphopster8), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah but Andrew, at least I don't turn around and insult pissing your pants.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

and i don't piss my pants for a living either.

it's just a hobbie.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"Yr"

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

COLIN POWELL SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED BY BUSH SPEECH

"I had no idea he was capable of such vain thoughtlessness."

jason gross says in his blog that the village voice writers are being pressured to be like pitchfork.

WTF????????? Did he read that on a bathroom wall?

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I can just hear Chuck telling George Smith this.

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"Yr" is an abreviation. Kindly explain "hobbie".

― HAPPINESSTAN (Andrew Thames), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha um add a "b"

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hobbit."

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Touche

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey, Chuck, it's Frank! I just got a new album by a klezmer country funk octet called The Holy Brothers of Maxi Zoom Dweebie. It's great!"

"no good, Kogan! I'm looking for more of a Pfork feel. Get with the times! Throw me something about the Shins or fuck off!"

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hey, remember the Futureheads?! Me neither."

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

What about The Constantines?

are they still the best band in the world?

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Back to the article, it's worth seeing the answers to the above questions, because Win Butler from the band does a good job at leaving PF out of his answers for the most part. By that last question, Schreiber does appear a bit desperate for some sort of credit from the band.

― Jonathan (Jonathan), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

DO YOU ALL HATE FREEDOM?

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Kinda

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Freedom isn't free
It's got a hefty fuckin' fee...

― Jonathan (Jonathan), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

It seems to me that's just a small part of the questions. The rest didn't really talk about the Pfork-AF link, no?

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Why does anyone love The Arcade Fire? I'm playing into Mr. Schreiber's (success-derived? slow down Eddie Vedder) paranoia, but I can only explain love for this band along the same lines as anyone who'd take pfork seriously as anything more than a news site: ie, relatively soulless yuppie types who really believe Radiohead is a great band, maybe because they think edgy chicks dig them, and they prefer edgy chicks to DMB fans. Not that The Arcade Fire's terrible (or Radiohead), but get some standards. (A symptom of this is no Andrew Bird review yet--guy crushes Arcade Fire quality-wise, but you get more action in Lincoln Park identifying with The Arcade Fire.)

― St. Valentine, Monday, 14 February 2005 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

the pitchfork interview is at least less embarassing than this thread

― Space Is the Place (Space Is the Place), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey St. Valentine -- no fair dismissing the Pitchfork readership like that and not telling them what they should be listening to. Andrew Bird is a start -- what else are they missing?

― Mark (MarkR), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, the new Fog is a real downer for starters.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

It's true: you do hear "Arcade Fire" and "Pitchfork" together all the time, esp. on this board. I think you could play a mad lib with all the bullshit you read that goes like:

"[THE ARCADE FIRE / PITCHFORK] is all about indie posturing"
"[THE ARCADE FIRE / PITCHFORK] is all hype and self-promotion"
"[THE ARCADE FIRE / PITCHFORK] offends me with their over-ratedness and over-exposure"

I have never understood this Pitchfork-bashing insanity--nobody reads Pitchfork or any indie music magazine. So few people have heard of it. And people who do read PFM read it because they like the writing, which is, despite some misses, on the whole better than most of what's on the web. Of all places I'd expect ILM to know that pop music is not some sacred cathedral full of standards of "professionalism." It's not like Pitchfork is taking payola to give Mariah Carey high marks.

This board talks all the time about Arcade Fire as Pitchfork darlings (see above), it's absurd to turn around and blast Pitchfork for acknowleding it too. It is totally bizarre to self-importantly claim that when folks like a (small, indie) band that you do not, it's because of Pfork hype, while simultaneously claiming that Pfork is all about self-importance. What, so you are the only ones with taste, and the rest of us are drones? Give me a break.

― mrjosh (mrjosh), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, I'm not dismissing Pitchfork readership at all, or Pitchfork either for that matter. Just questioning their guiding aesthetics (again, the top pfork brass, not the readership), which work well enough to at least acknowledge most worthwhile new music (which would be hard not to do, reviewing four new albums a day, but still, credit where it's due). Overall I'm all for Pitchfork, I just would like them to be a little less . . . I don't know, I mean for fuck's sake frat guys (yes I'm dismissing them) date rape to Radiohead. Enough already.

― St. Valentine, Monday, 14 February 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean for fuck's sake frat guys (yes I'm dismissing them) date rape to Radiohead. Enough already.

You've got to be kidding me

― mrjosh (mrjosh), Monday, 14 February 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 41 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/640/dadsarmy_3.jpg

Chris Ott: Back row, far right.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 14 February 2005 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

NME, not BBC, Dom.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"Quixotic gotcha" is the new "back in the day recommended"

― f--gg (gcannon), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's what Ryan said about AF about a month ago on this board:

arcade fire: pitchfork #1

... which is consistent with his opinion as stated in the AF interview. Why he felt that these things needed to be discussed during the interview is another matter.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, music press/criticism can be such a filthy ghetto.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't want to come across as a pitchfork apologist, but the bile directed towards that site on ILM is way out of scale for what is, after all, just a website. Schreiber isn't Pol Pot, kids. and whatever you think of it, it isn't nearly as bad as the NME. the reputation of the Arcade Fire doesn't hinge on that of pitchfork or vice versa, so get over that.

and where the hell did this crap about Radiohead start? you would think that they were Bowling For The Soup, the way they get chewed on. again, it's totally out of proportion. and just weird.

― fsharp (fsharp), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Bowling For The Soup? i don't know either

― fsharp (fsharp), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

what next for Chris ott?

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

This is such a weird thread.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Monday, 14 February 2005 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Looking at it through the headache/slight cold I have today makes it all the more foggily strange.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, nicole, I don't get it at all.

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, I think I have it.

"The only people we hate worse than the Romans are the FUCKING Judean People's Front..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Pitchfork: It's really funny. It's like we can't exist independently in the press. I mean, are you as sick of that as we are?

Win: I don't know. I think that people have a narrow view of things. [url=http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/features/artistlists/b/banhart_devendra-05/]You definitely get a lot of lazy, weak features. And I'm sure you guys probably experience that as well.[/url]

― Alexander (Alexander), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, music press/criticism can be such a filthy ghetto.

On a cold and grey Chicago morning
There's another indie blog to read
In the music press ghetto.

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

indie ghetto...

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

rofl

― rentboy (rentboy), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

In the wwwghetto? (some of the w's (and possibly the g) are silent)

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

And Ned Raggett cries ...

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

People don't you understand
Emos need a helping hand
Or they'll grow to be boring old fuX0rs some day

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

One more try:
In the bloghetto.

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Brent's Brewster's Millions remake was blowing up film screens all over Sundance, FYI.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Overall I'm all for Pitchfork, I just would like them to be a little less . . . I mean for fuck's sake frat guys (yes I'm dismissing them) date rape to Radiohead. Enough already

...

― sleep (sleep), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to say though, this interview wasn't very good.

Also,
Schreiber's own comments suggest, if anything, that he spends too much time staring at (or at least worrying about) ILM, and overestimating its ability to instigate backlash against Pfork hype.

I thought the same thing after the 4th or 5th question dwelling on the topic.

― sleep (sleep), Monday, 14 February 2005 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I am starting to read this thread title as the name of a new WFMU show "Surely You Must Be Joking, Mr. FineWine?"

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, what the fuck, guys?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The Franz Ferdinand thread sort of took the wind out of this one, huh?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread would be a lot better if it was about Liev Schreiber.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"Who do you think you are kidding, MR. Schreiber?? We know it's you!"

http://www.lievschreiber.org/images_xyz/misc/liev_ss.jpg

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Who is he supposed to be dressed up as? Hercule Poirot? H.G. Wells in one of those time travel romances?

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

he's hiding from his FANS

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

but really, who does he think he's kidding?

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I thought it was gonna be about THIS guy
http://povonline.com/images3/schreiber.jpg

(Awaits arrival of dave225 to thread)

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, I got it. Liev Schreiber is playing the part of Gary Owens in Laugh-In: The Movie.

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 14 February 2005 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i saw Liev Schreiber in an office building in december. he looked really pissed off.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Schreiber isn't Pol Pot

No. Pol Pot would have had the Arcade Fire killed and then played bongos on their skulls.

I love these Pitchfork threads because I never read Pitchfork, so it's like the backstage quarrels of some show I've never seen. Vases flying through the air, leading ladies strung out on pills sobbing into their vodkatinis, roguish drunks railing about the way things used to be.

I will say that there are at least two people in my office who have separately said to me, "Hey, do you know Pitchfork? Good stuff on there." One of them is over 40.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:11 (twenty-one years ago)

KILL THE AGED, INFIRM, AND ELDERLY!

seriously tho, why can't 40+ year-olds have good taste? (tho obv. your pitchfork-loving colleague might not, since he reads pitchfork.)

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

No, he's cool, he plays drums in some proggy power trio. And shit I'm 35. I just thought it was funny when he was all excited about Pitchfork.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:32 (twenty-one years ago)

(and no, he's not phil collins)

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i think throughout the course of my life, i've learned much more about interesting music from my elders, than those younger than me. the whole ageist thing in music (HELLO ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM THAT IS ILM) just sort of rankles, to be honest, even tho i'm younger than you!

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean if we're "stamping out rockism" let's stamp out ageism too. a lot of what passes for "criticism" is really just that tired "don't trust anyone over 30" canard flogged again and again.

also, lars's dad is cool.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Right on Hstencil.

By the way, the rest of this thread is kind of depressing.

― David Allen (David Allen), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

wretched fools.

― heraclitus, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Here we go.

― Mark (MarkR), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I propose a debate

― Mickey (modestmickey), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

(Apparently, my opinion in re: Pitchfork's motives translates to "Pitchfork takes payola" in our little Oswald Mosley's mind - I'm told he's been e-bombing Herr Schreiber with rabid accusations. I refuse to let this nobody make me out the Hitler of music criticism criticism - it crosses the line from a pathetic to insane).

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

Threads like these are just enabling all those things you people dislike about Pitchfork. Part of the problem, you are...

― cdwill, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

eight years pass...

strangely prescient

― the tune was space, Friday, 6 December 2013 06:27 (twelve years ago)

Still lolling at Ott thinking it's bad to use the word buttplug but not to compare Ryan to Hitler.

― I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 6 December 2013 08:01 (twelve years ago)

when paired with his gaybaiting interaction with Grizzlybear it all starts to look very . . . interesting.

*adjusts monocle*

― the tune was space, Friday, 6 December 2013 17:39 (twelve years ago)

I want a Chris Ott redact-o-script to load up next to my Chris Brown redact-o-script, actually you can just redact all Chris' while you're at it

― fear of zing failure (flamboyant goon tie included), Friday, 6 December 2013 17:42 (twelve years ago)

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