Age Pervert Songs

Frank Zappa - "Brown Shoes Don't Make It"

I say goodnight-night,
I tuck him in tight,
But things are not right-
What is this? an infant kiss,
That sends my body tingling,
I've never fallen for,
A little boy before,
No control,
Just a kid and just a school,
Back home they'd call me dirty,
His little hand is on my heart,
He's got me where it hurts me.
Knockn , knock, who's there in this baby?
You know how to work me.

Chorus
And all my barriers are going,
It's starting to show.
Let go, let go.

I cannot sit and let,
Something happen I'll regret,
Ooh, he scares me,
There's a man behind those eyes,
I catch him when I'm bending.
Ooh, how he frightens me.
When they whisper privately,
Windy-wailey, blows me,
Words of caress on their lips,
That speak of adult love.
I want to smack but I hold back.
I only want to touch.
But I must stay and find a way, to stop before it gets too much.

Jefferson Airplane, "Come Up the Years" (although Marty restrains himself, so it's not entirely pervy)

Benny Mardones - "Into the Night"

Come on, that song is set in a university! No minors on campus = no age perverts in sight.

Momus - "The Guitar Lesson"

Now, see, I think this is a dangerous way of thinking. Songs have performers, but they also have characters just like novels do. To equate the performer with the character is not useful, though of course many artists encourage it.

And to make it even more taboo, it's about incest. But it's kind of punky in a way, and very brief.

Also, check out this hilarious lyric by boy band parody Boyzvoice from Norway, released on their "Get Ready To Be Boyzvoiced" album from 2000:

TWELVE YEAR OLD WOMAN

I've spent the best days of my life with you:
Days of love, days of laughter, but now I feel blue.
A tear is rolling down from my eye
Now I know that our love was based on a lie.

How could you be so mean?
Told me you were sixteen,
I'll never stop blaming myself
For not seeing that you only were twelve.....

So tell me, How can I believe in love anymore
When I've been betrayed by the one I adore?
Tell me, how can I ever fall in love again?
Being hurt by a twelve year old woman....

Now I know the meaning of the phrase:
You should never ask a woman about her age
Because her heart will fall apart
If you ever catch a glimpse of her ID-card

The most beautiful girl I've seen
Told me she was sixteen.
It hurts me so: I found out too late
She was born in 1988....

So tell me, How can I believe in love anymore
When I've been betrayed by the one I adore?
Tell me, how can I ever fall in love again?
Being hurt by a twelve year old woman....

(But deep in my heart she means everything to me
And sometimes I wish that I'd told her
That even if her parents are planning to sue me
I'll be back when she's four years older!!)

Tell me, (Refrain)

-- Momus (nic...), March 31st, 2005.

sure, it's not an illegal age violation, but isn't it at least implied that the professor is using his age and experience to seduce his naive, nubile students?

At the time of writing this, McCartney was no more than 21-22 himself.

Ew.

Yes, but something about that "if you know what I mean" has always seemed like the equivalent of a leering wink.

Fine, point taken, in place of "performer" use "character"...

I hear the click-clack of your feet on the stairs
I know you're no scare-eyed honey.
There'll be a feast if you just come upstairs
But it's no hanging matter
It's no capital crime

I can see that you're fifteen years old
No I don't want your I.D.
And I can see that you're so far from home
But it's no hanging matter
It's no capital crime

Oh yeah, you're a strange stray cat
Oh yeah, don'tcha scratch like that
Oh yeah, you're a strange stray cat
I bet, bet your mama don't know you scream like that
I bet your mother don't know you can spit like that.

You look so weird and you're so far from home
But you don't really miss your mother
Don't look so scared I'm no mad-brained bear
But it's no hanging matter
It's no capital crime
Oh, yeah
Woo!

I bet your mama don't know that you scatch like that
I bet she don't know you can bite like that.

You say you got a friend, that she's wilder than you
Why don't you bring her upstairs
If she's so wild then she can join in too
It's no hanging matter
It's no capital crime

Oh yeah, you're a strange stray cat
Oh yeah, don'tcha scratch like that
Oh yeah, you're a strange stray cat
I bet you mama don't know you can bite like that
I'll bet she never saw you scratch my back

'they only want you when you're seventeen...when you're 21, you're no fun'

Elmore James, "The Thirteen Year Old Boy"

and that "Lolita Ya-Ya" thing from the Kubrick movie.

"Young Girl," Gary Puckett and the Union Gap

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl,
You're much too young, girl
With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe
You're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth, Oh,
Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know
That it is wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes, Oh,
So hurry home to your mama
I'm sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far, Oh,
Young girl

a winner!

(With your beautiful hair
And your sixteen years
You kissed me as I lay still
If I can see you never,
Then I'll sleep forever
All my lonely love to kill)

I always read Momus as suggesting it was the other way round.

"They'll think I'm your Dad, and your my daughter". Not necessarily perverted, but it felt applicable.

The Fugs - Dirty Old Man (sample lyric: "Gotta go kids, here comes the campus cop, remember Leon Trotsky!")

"How old'd you say you were?"
"16!"

Teenage mexican boy, don't be scared/ 'Cos I could listen to Spanish all night long...

OTM, although it's a pretty song. Were Heaven 17 gay?

Has somebody mentioned "Parents Just Don't Understand," DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince
...
Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking
You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions
I honked my horn just to get her attention
She said, "Was that for me?"
I said, "Yeah"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"
...

She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on."
She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas
We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast.
The sun roof was open, the music was high
And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car

We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche
And to make this long story short - short
When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell
I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer."
I almost had a heart attack that day
Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway

Cherry Bomb by the Runaways

I know I can think of more....

its an obscure song, of course--but have things changed?

Basically, he's waiting until midnight of the girl's 16th birthday (which is in one minute's time).

Chorus: "Happy Birthday, you're gonna get it on your.."
repeat etc.

Chuck Berry - Sweet Little Sixteen
Beastie Boys - Boomin' Granny

When I babelfished Gainsbourg's "Elisa," one awkwardly poetic line camed back "Your twenty years, my forty, if you believe that that torments me --ah, not really LISA." On an off-topic note, other badly translated lyrics gave me the awful suspicion that Elisa is actually an orangutan or some sort of ape. Will some helpful bilingual please tell me I'm wrong?

"I don't wanna wait / until you're old enough / The time has come / for you to start taking me down"

great creepy stuff.

NERD/De La Soul - "She Wants To Move (Remix)"

"Sixteen candles/ She blew me in my birthday suit"

Which is a way longer wait than Gary Glitter is used to in real life.

Here's a couple more:
Armand Schaubroeck - Preteen Mama (a stone cold sicko classic)

Armand Schaubroeck - Buried Alive (from the same album, sounds like a teenage Iggy howling about being sent down for statutory rape - "I didn't look it up in a lawbook, I just knew that she loved me and I loved her", or something to that effect)

Decayes - Only Fourteen (super sleazy oddball proto-synth-punk number)