R. Kelly - "Trapped In The Closet"

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it was discussed a little in this thread Sex in the Kitchen...AND the Sex in the Kitchen remix!
but I think it deserves its own thread.

Chapter One of Five has been out for a few weeks, video supposed to premiere in a couple weeks, with a short film of all 5 parts coming on the DVD packaged along with the new album, TP3: Reloaded, which is out July 5th.

I just heard Chapter Two (no spoilers!) on the radio today but can't find it anywhere online. Does anyone have the mp3!!?!?!?

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

why isn't he in jail yet?

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 12 May 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

SPOILERS NOW

― strng hlkngtn, Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

Does anyone have the mp3!!?!?!?

this is probably one of the most important questions ever posed to ilm.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

I feel like a 12 year old waiting for harry potter to come out.

― Lethal Dizzle (djdee2005), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

my question is serious.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

Chapter One of Five has been out for a few weeks, video supposed to premiere in a couple weeks, with a short film of all 5 parts coming on the DVD packaged along with the new album, TP3: Reloaded, which is out July 5th.

i'd be flipping out over this if my mind could even process it

― strng hlkngtn, Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

SPOILERS NOW

As in 'a taste of the.'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

R Kelly is like Harry Potter waiting for a 12 year old to take him home

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

TRAPPED

― milton parker (Jon L), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

tiny spoiler: there are multiple meanings to the phrase "in the closet"

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

I'm 67th in line for ch. 2 on slsk

― Lethal Dizzle (djdee2005), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

Dizzle if you can get it and YSI it here you will be hero for a day.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

PLEASE TELL ME HE COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET AND GIVES THE HUSBAND A HANDJOB

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 12 May 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

Does Ronald Isley make an appearance as Mr. Bigg?

― Jeff Reguilon (Talent Explosion), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

I'm now 52nd in line for this song (whoever was at 55 took forever)

― Lethal Dizzle (djdee2005), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

this reminded me of this.
http://www.channel102.net/show.php?show=3
some pretty funny stuff....

― Aerodynamic (Aerodynamic), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

so far no vocal cameos (Kells playing all parts in the lyrics/dialogue). I wouldn't be surprised if Isley showed up at some point, though. This whole mini-opera definitely is a logical progression from all the dramatic argument-songs he's been doing so much the last few years. I think R. is a genius at turning every good idea he has into a formula that he milks over and over until it becomes something completely new.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

more spoilers plz

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

oh man i need this more than anything

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

38th in the queue!

― Lethal Dizzle (djdee2005), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

Oh baby

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

gimme gimme gimme this!!

― heywood jablomi (heywood), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

haha its going to end up being mislabelled and all this anticipation will be for naught.

― Lethal Dizzle (djdee2005), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

After the husband convinces R. not to shoot him, he says that he has a secret of his own to reveal, and makes a phone call.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

Musically, it's pretty similiar to Chapter One, calmly working its way up to an intense crescendo for the cliffhanger at the end.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

SO WHY HAVE YOU NOT SHARED THIS WITH US?

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

I hope one of the chapters ends with R. in a car flying off a cliff and the next opens with R. somehow having already lept out before it left the ground.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

I don't have an mp3 to share! like I said in the first post, I only heard it on the radio. and I said "no spoilers", but people pried for a little more. (xp)

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

I doubt any spoiler could render the track free of amusement. Hell, I love the first even more every time I play it for someone with fresh ears.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

I kind of hope that there's only one chapter left by the time the whole album leaks, so that there can be this kind of manic anticipation for every single chapter.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

whoever gets this first better YSI or something equivalent...

please?

― lemin (lemin), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:56 (twenty years ago)

IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!!!

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

Be warned: The one I waited an hour to grab off slsk, filename: "R Kelly - Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 2"

― Bummer, Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

Uh oh

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

Damnit, ate the rest of my post.

Retry: Be warned: The one I waited an hour to grab off slsk, filename: "R Kelly - Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 2"

― Bummer, Thursday, 12 May 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME

― lemin (lemin), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:00 (twenty years ago)

WTF? Again!

Condensed form:

"R Kelly - Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 2" off of slsk, missing last ")" is just Chapter 1 renamed.

― Bummer, Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

I picture everyone waiting to hear Chapter 2 listening to the "AND HE OPENS THE CLOSET" part on a continuous loop.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:02 (twenty years ago)

Dizzle, have you checked the track length?

― lemin (lemin), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:03 (twenty years ago)

wait, he doesn't even remember having sex with her, right? woke up the next morning with no idea what happened, right?

POSSIBLE PLOT TWIST

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0784011184.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

OMG HURRY UP

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

there should be a betting pool for people to predict what happens by the end of the Chapter 5.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

she took off her draw URRS!
and you won't believe THIS!
she took off her draw URRS!
and she had a PENIS!

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

this is a good substitute while waiting:
http://www.myspace.com/blacknasty
check out 'it wuz worth it' and 'real animal lover'

― heywood jablomi (heywood), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

this is all kind of like the fruition of the creepy foreshadowing "this cat looks real familiar"/"don't I know you from somewhere?" stuff in Contagious.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

maybe by the end Mr. Biggs and all the characters from previous R. dramas will be entangled in it somehow.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

THE CLOSET IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:11 (twenty years ago)

the closet is in your mind.

― Al (sitcom), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

This all could be happening at the Rock And Roll McDonald's too. not at someone else's house, necessarily.

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 12 May 2005 23:14 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 580 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

REDEMPTION

― HI DERE, Thursday, 4 October 2007 22:35 (eighteen years ago)

R. Kelly was like "if Dan's gonna call this a minstrel show, then I'm gonna give him a motherfuckin minstrel show."

― da croupier, Thursday, 4 October 2007 22:36 (eighteen years ago)

All that was missing was Twan getting caught in the chicken coop

― da croupier, Thursday, 4 October 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

lololololololololololololololololololololololol

― HI DERE, Thursday, 4 October 2007 22:38 (eighteen years ago)

(ps I have been drinking)

― HI DERE, Thursday, 4 October 2007 22:39 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

Soon playing at the Cinematheque Francaise:

http://tinyurl.com/2y2996

― amateurist, Friday, 4 January 2008 00:34 (eighteen years ago)

I mean, what if Scott Stapp DID make something like TITC, and a lot of black people dug it because of the "juxtapositions of white stereotypes with outrageous non-sequiturs"?

rip adam beales

― and what, Friday, 4 January 2008 00:49 (eighteen years ago)

the cinemathèque thing is insane

― baaderonixx, Friday, 4 January 2008 10:08 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

I just want the audio of chapters 6 through as many more as I can get (I have TP.3). Is the audio for all the chapters packaged together in some fashion, preferably CD?

(this thread is bonkers/funny:
R. Kelly was like "if Dan's gonna call this a minstrel show, then I'm gonna give him a motherfuckin minstrel show."

-- da croupier, Thursday, 4 October 2007 22:36 (5 months ago) Link)

― earinfections, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 03:48 (seventeen years ago)

three months pass...

Sure, if a white guy made TITC shot for shot, line for line, it'd be racist. Blackface. Appalling. I didn't think you were suggesting anything so obvious.

But if a white person of similar infamy made a similarly plotted, similarly brilliant/retarded film, it would be received in precisely the same way. It would reflect white culture instead of black culture of course, but the basic dynamic would be the same. People of all sorts would adore it in a condescendingly ironic fashion.

I mean, what if Scott Stapp DID make something like TITC, and a lot of black people dug it because of the "juxtapositions of white stereotypes with outrageous non-sequiturs"?

So what? Comedy = stereotypes + stereotypes punctured. Big deal. White guilt about what's okay or not okay to laugh at is retarded. Every culture in the world thinks other cultures are funny to the extent they don't think they're evil.

Therefore, thinking other cultures are funny is a GOOD THING. Or at least it can be...

-- Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 10, 2007 5:03 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

― and what, Sunday, 6 July 2008 20:44 (seventeen years ago)

Stapped in the Closet

― J0rdan S., Sunday, 6 July 2008 20:47 (seventeen years ago)

Pye Poudre morelike Pye PUD-re

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 6 July 2008 20:51 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

my choice for worst single of the 00s

― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Sunday, 27 June 2010 17:38 (fifteen years ago)

wasn't a single?

― Humbert Humberto Suazo (jim in glasgow), Sunday, 27 June 2010 17:41 (fifteen years ago)

Then he continues to rough up the midget as if the midget was under attack.

― da croupier, Sunday, 27 June 2010 18:52 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

Twenty new episodes coming the day after Thanksgiving:

http://entertainment.time.com/2012/10/15/r-kelly-on-his-single-ladies-tour-bedroom-ballads-and-the-future-of-trapped/

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 15:45 (thirteen years ago)

Are you working on another installment of Trapped In The Closet?
We just shot 20 chapters. They’ll be coming out the day after Thanksgiving. Trapped in the Closet is forever. I’ve got like a hundred chapters to come.
Forever?
It’s forever.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 15:46 (thirteen years ago)

a hundred more chapters, thanks R!

― frogbs, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 15:50 (thirteen years ago)

I mean, what if Scott Stapp DID make something like TITC, and a lot of black people dug it because of the "juxtapositions of white stereotypes with outrageous non-sequiturs"?

Would be an easy #1 on the Contemporary Christian charts.

― pretty even gender split (Eazy), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:15 (thirteen years ago)

I really really really wish this dude would just go away

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:21 (thirteen years ago)

I like Love Letter and consider him a great singer and U Saved Me is tremendous but that was a good minute back and yeah it's kind of sad this whole business

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:32 (thirteen years ago)

R. Kelly is a gigantic walking "stay in school, kids" ad

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:33 (thirteen years ago)

what do you mean DJP?

― frogbs, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:40 (thirteen years ago)

I mean he's a painfully ignorant buffoon who continually embarrasses himself and, if he'd maybe not dropped out of school in junior high and had learned how to read, there's a possibility he wouldn't be spending his talent on outright bullshit like this.

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 16:49 (thirteen years ago)

i'm half-surprised more are coming considering the relative lack of acclaim/attention for the second batch (shake your head at the whole deal if you want, but there was infinitely more in the narrative/format to be fascinated by in the first bunch), but then they're probably pretty cheap to make.

― da croupier, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:13 (thirteen years ago)

millions of people enjoy his music and he's made a zillions dollars; I'd say he did pretty well for a dropout

― frogbs, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:14 (thirteen years ago)

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:16 (thirteen years ago)

really not looking forward to the revival of "trapped in the closet" culture tho

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:17 (thirteen years ago)

has there been any word on how it will be released? IFC? Vevo? DVD?

― da croupier, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:20 (thirteen years ago)

always weird when people break out the "he's successful, so it must be awesome to be him whatever else might be true about him personally" deal

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:20 (thirteen years ago)

well, that's as presumptive as saying that his life would be better had he stayed in school

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:22 (thirteen years ago)

The second batch seemed forced and hackneyed, where the first seemed inventive and engagingly odd. I have little hope for any continuation.

― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:23 (thirteen years ago)

"his life" vs "his contributions to art"

but then again, Tyler Perry stayed in school and look at him

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:24 (thirteen years ago)

always weird when people break out the "he's successful, so it must be awesome to be him whatever else might be true about him personally" deal

as a "stay in school" cautionary tale? are high school dropouts really worried that they may one day turn into R. Kelly? "this guy is a painfully ignorant buffoon" sounds like something a 30 year old college grad who doesn't like R. Kelly would say

― frogbs, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:41 (thirteen years ago)

well that more or less describes DJP tbf

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:48 (thirteen years ago)

yeah 30, let's keep that

― The Owls of Ja Rule (DJP), Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:49 (thirteen years ago)

i've enjoyed plenty of r. kelly's music - he's got a commanding voice, good hooks, and a shameless taste for the absurd. but i don't think it's hard to see how someone could find him too embarrassing and tragic to do likewise.

― da croupier, Tuesday, 16 October 2012 17:50 (thirteen years ago)

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZxsMg3ROhY
Alastaire Kelly

― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:19 (thirteen years ago)

bridget reminds me of janice soprano

― liljon /bia/ bia (k3vin k.), Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:26 (thirteen years ago)

the first five chapters of this are legit classic. the rest a bit less so

― it just might not jive with you (fadanuf4erybody), Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:34 (thirteen years ago)

and by "a bit" i mean "a lot," yet i still kinda wanna watch these new ones even if i could barely finish the later ones

― it just might not jive with you (fadanuf4erybody), Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:35 (thirteen years ago)

i think the whole thing was starting to come off the rails even by chapter 4 or 5, but it was a fun few weeks there

― The Doc Morbama (some dude), Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:45 (thirteen years ago)

i transcribed the lorem ipsum from his little book.

"Textual texting for verbose placement of words. Blah blaeh blah. Crazy ass shit. In a series of uncommon events that involved several good men and women from the greater chicagoland area, the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. Stream of consciousness. Typing. Man, I could really use a good sandwich right now. Or some spaghetti. That shit that Joey was eating in chapter 21 looked pretty damn good."

trapped in the closet remains a good time

― fennel cartwright, Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:50 (thirteen years ago)

still got it

― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:51 (thirteen years ago)

four years pass...

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jimderogatis/parents-told-police-r-kelly-is-keeping-women-in-a-cult

― this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Monday, 17 July 2017 14:47 (eight years ago)

I read that earlier... this is absolutely fucking insane.

― Matt DC, Monday, 17 July 2017 14:48 (eight years ago)

Does the same link need to be pasted on every R.Kelly thread tho

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 17 July 2017 14:53 (eight years ago)

I assume it is for the sake of removing any possible shred of doubt people might have about how fucked up R. Kelly is

I mean, if this is how some R. Kelly fans think:

“In the back of our minds, we were thinking (my daughter) could be around him if I was with her,” J. said. “It didn’t really hit home. Even with the Aaliyah situation, now that I think about it, ‘Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number’ ... but you don’t think about that. You grew up with the song, and you like the song.”

then maybe they need to be spoonfed this info

― korla pundit (crüt), Monday, 17 July 2017 14:56 (eight years ago)

I have actual work I need to get done and I think the point (which I have been making on this board in some fashion over the past 17 years) has been made.

― this iphone speaks many languages (DJP), Monday, 17 July 2017 14:57 (eight years ago)

I think it's good that no R. Kelly thread activity is going to be able to go on credibly unaware of this.

― albvivertine, Monday, 17 July 2017 23:19 (eight years ago)

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