I Need a Record Contract

Troubleman, here you come!

I looked at your site, and I noticed that you have no live show dates scheduled. My advice is to first concentrate on playing shows, and worry about getting signed later. If you're really hot to record something, pay for some studio time and record a demo with a few songs on it (or if you've got recording gear at home or know someone who does, all the better). Once you've got those things more in hand, you can begin to worry about labels.

Where are you from? You wanna join my band?

...sorry.

I just want to be on a label, it sounds like fun.

Weird.

The last word might be optional... Or else, fit "fun" between "on" and "a"...

(img src="http://trust-me-swan.cocolog-nifty.com/death_records_logo.jpg">

ok!

Then, channel your considerable attitude into your live stage show and find a proxy to shill for you (girlfriends are good at that, up to a point).

1. I like posting my band on ILM. It's fun and expected in many ways.

2. I don't have any other band members to do a Live Show. I tried but everyone in NJ is into Metal Cover Bands or Emo.

3. What's a Proxy?

4. Geocities is Free and I can shell out $30 for a meal at Bennigans rather than a Telephonepoles.com. When I get signed, that's the day I will shell out 30 clams (no pun intended)

This makes me think you're out of touch.

www.telephonepoles.com

maybe you could call your band exuberant capitalization

Michael,

I am the ghost of xmas future. Please choose your words carefully and search for sarcasm in others . Keep on making music but go light on the promotion. Tweak your sound, research, enjoy, and tweak your sound again. And learn the value of owning your copyrights. A deal is not what ye seek.

I cannot answer any firther questions as I must now return to the netherworld.

[end dream sequence]

*juice flies out nose*

Ned, I didn't think you had it in you ;)

Thanks, Brian Hall.

Hahahahahahaaaa

-- Michael Costello (M_Co_8...), June 29th, 2005.

Seriously though, dude, you should spend a lot more time on your music before you go sticking your neck out by linking to your band not only here but on other unrelated threads. I know what you're probably thinking "A small label will pick me up and then I could achieve some kind of minor cult status through play on college radio stations around the country." Well, it ain't as easy as it sounds, and it gonna happen with the tracks you have there, so keep practicing.

Anyways, don't put me on Rolling Stone and Spin. They stunk for the past 5 years.

You took my dream and raped it. Thanks for Raping my dream, Simon Cowell.

P.S. It's not easy but it's been done before.

P.S.S. This is the truth. I actually have a fanbase in Greece. I would let people download my album on soulseek and one of the guys was a DJ at some club. He put one of my songs on and people liked it. I actually got about 40 fans from soulseek.

1) Put a record on your turntable
2) Start up the turntable, put the needle to the record
3) Switch the hi-fi to the cassette player or whatever has your demo on it
4) Imagine that record is your track playing.

If you can do that and say "Yep, that's possible" then off you go.

I think the Telephones Poles are the future.

First thing you do, you stop plugging your band on ILM. You have to realize what enormous feat of restraint it takes for dozens of the board's regulars not to do the same.
-- joseph cotten (josephcotte...), June 28th, 2005.

This is OTM. Everytime I record a new track I'm pleased with I want to post it on ILM but I hold off because it's a selfish endeavour at the moment. Infact, I think we made a general 'Post MP3s' of your band thread at somepoint but it's fallen off.

What Michael is doing in here isn't sharing music because he thinks ILM would like it but exploiting the people who are involved in the music industry here in some form or another. And expecting people to care.

Oh and Michael, your little rock band is about as fun as being torn from a whirlygig by a 7 foot penis and then stomped 3 feet deep into the ground by a giant bible while at the same time being forced to listen to Damien Rice in surround sound. Give it up.

This statement is amazing.

Everyone in this thread gets exactly what they deserve. Justice.

I actually like Xiu Xiu, too, but I can't think of anyone else who would've signed them at all. Maybe Kranky or Emperor Norton. Maybe.

Because you showed us how much fun it could be, Jon, duh! How many times have you wrapped it all up with "be cool, just a bit of fun"...?

I'M EIGHTEEN AND I DON'T NO WHAT I WANT
EIGHTEEN I JUST DON'T NO WHAT I WANT
EIGHTEEN I GOTTA GET AWAY
I'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA THIS PLACE
I'LL GO RUNNING IN OUTER SPACE AGAIN

I'VE GOTTA BABY'S BRAIN AND AN OLD MANS HEART
TOOK EIGHTEEN YEARS TO GET THIS FAR
DON'T ALWAYS NO WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
FEEL LIKE I'M LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF DOUBT

‘CAUSE I'M EIGHTEEN I GET CONFUSED EVERY DAY
EIGHTEEN I JUST DON'T NO WHAT TO SAY
EIGHTEEN I GOTTA GET AWAY

OH LINES FORM ON MY FACE N' MY HANDS
LINES FORM ON THE LEFT AND RIGHT
I'M IN THE MIDDLE THE MIDDLE OF LIFE
I'M A BOY AND I'M A MAN I'M EIGHTEEN AND I LIKE IT

:)

Even if you guys Do or Don't like T Poles, well now you know about it and you listened to my songs. No I got some publicity.

You know the saying: All publicity is good publicity.

P.S. Hari A$hur$t, Why do you whirl off of 7 ft. penises?

He is gaining new fans right now, in addition to the 40 from Soulseek, in addition to his family and probably some of his friends. Which, if ideas can really spread like Malcolm Gladwell documents in The Tipping Point (like wildfire!), maybe we are the naysayers who will be eating our words.

Ask yourself first: 1) Would I ever haved named my band the Telephones Poles and built a crap site like that?

Probalby at some age, yes.

2) Have I made big improvements in my music, and could I have changed my band name from the Telephone Poles, incorporating tighter arrangements?

Yes, but it takes a little time.

So Michael Costello, you are well on your way to something and you can sign me up as your "fan", especially in a few years from now.

Gabe

P.S. Check out my band "The Replacements" -- touring Eastern Europe and East Coast US in September '05.

Rumor has it that it might already have been used by some obscure band from Minnesota...

Seriously, unless you have a new hobby that entails collecting "cease and desist" orders, you need to modify the name.

I appreciate you looking out for me, and of course this is one of a couple names we are kicking around.

But one thing is definite -- a new song I am writing called "Cease and Exist"!!!

I tricked you into listening to my demo. It doesn't matter that you think it sucks or that I'm annoying - I tricked you! I win!!

ps - i know your sayin 'basement rock' was done before cause yer just jellus..but I have a question? What does 'basement' mean? I record in mine, so it, like, fits..right?

I think I have my problems too, but slathering the world in SARCASM is not one of them thank god. and MOCKERY, there's no need. Let the Telephone Poles exist, because even if basement rock isn't theirs, "their basement rock" is all their own.

I have many more problems besides the ones you kindly pointed out... the inability to resist easy targets being the worst. Thankfully, I stopped being PAINFULLY EARNEST around the time I stopped crying in my bedroom, listening to the Cure.

-- Michael Costello (M_Co_8...), June 29th, 2005.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v720/DeadWolfBones2/holyloltom.jpg

YOUR MUSIC SUCKS DUDE, DIANECTICS ROX

-- Naive Teen Idol (matthew.weine...), June 29th, 2005.

I know I made one that lasted a while but it would be naive of me to think that was the first.

Last laugh A$hur$t.

wow, this thread is amazing.

best part:
This isn't funny anymore. those Testament things brang it down a lot. I'm Out!
-- Michael Costello (MichaelCostello1), Wednesday, 29 June 2005 05:12 (2 years ago) Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this guy's music sucks.
-- Beetlebum (MichaelCostello1), Wednesday, 29 June 2005 06:53 (2 years ago) Link

do people still use geocities and live with all those nasty popup adverts in 2008 ?

Wonder if he ever got 2 b teh famous.

wow ILX used to be snarky.

no, he isn't famous. i'm his brother...
now he makes dfa type dance music with a keyboard. i'd link you to his current myspace, but i don't know it.

He Ain't Famous, He's My Brother

wow ILX used to be snarky.

-- Thomas, Tuesday, March 25, 2008 5:03 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

yeah HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED!11!!!