If your partner regularly falls asleep on the couch w/o tooth brushing

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Is it fair and right to deny them kisses and sex until they get one dental hygiene? For months now, I have had to wake up my significant other as if this person was a toddler and get into an argument about teeth brushing and flossing. It finally came to the point which I figured it eventually would when s.o. said "You're not my mom and you're not my dad, so give it a rest." My response was, "No, and your mom and your dad aren't here and they're not going to be with you in 20 years when your teeth are falling out of your head. And you don't make out and have sex with your mom and your dad."

I thought that would get the point across, but no. For the last 2 days, I have stopped bothering and so for the last 2 days this person has passed out between 7 and 8 pm with a mouth full of bacteria and rot and slept straight through to morning without brushing or flossing. Before that, I drew a smiley face on the floss that said, "Use me for fuck sakes!" Didn't work at all, of course. I knew it wouldn't.

Even when I have to fight this person to brush, there's no flossing going on. It's just toooooo much of a hassle to draw a string between a few spaces of teeth for 30 seconds. This person is too tired brush teeth AND floss. I guess I should be thankful that any tooth-brushing is going on at all during transfer from couch to bed at 1 - 3 am in the morning after a fight. I pleaded with this person to get new habits; since you KNOW you will fall asleep around 7:30 and you will not wake up until 6 the next day, brush your teeth BEFORE you pass out on the couch. On the off chance this has happened once or twice, it doesn't count if you wake up and eat a sandwich later without rebrushing your teeth. One would think this is obvious. Bread turns to sugar and sugar rots teeth.

I've seen how this person brushes teeth: less than 2 minutes a day, in the morning only, no flossing. This person has breath issues that I have brought up several times. It surprises me that this person does not realize that out of all your body, the ONE important part to pay attention to is your fucking mouth. You can get away with washing your crotch and asshole every other day if you like; it's not going to rot off and become an embarrassing stinkhole you must face the world with.

If there is anything a person does not want to get into a debate about with their s.o., the person they are supposed to love and be attracted to, it is something as disgusting as hygiene.

So, I've decided no more kisses and no more sex. Of course, the sex part is easy, really, with this person passing out at 7:30 each night. If this goes on indefinitely, then obviously no more relationship. We're coming up on going on 7 years now and, if we got married out of a sense of duty to each other, I can clearly see how living together before marriage as a test of sorts doesn't necessarily mean the marriage will last. Clearly, reasons like this are why people get divorced at the 7 year mark.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

i preferred their early stuff.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

You do a good job not revealing the sex of either you or your s.o.

― Patrick South (Patrick South), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

Fine. Then, I'll just put this where it belongs. How about that?

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

my friend is a dentist and he says you only need to brush your teeth once a day. twice was invented by the toothbrush and toothpaste corporations.

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

xpost: thank you, it was not easy or necessary, but once I started, I could not stop.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 10:52 (twenty years ago)

are they better than the arctic monkeys?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

you should do a good job though. and use floss, definitely. most cavities dentists treat are in between teeth

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

my friend is a dentist and he says you only need to brush your teeth once a day. twice was invented by the toothbrush and toothpaste corporations.
-- minna (girl_thursda...), October 21st, 2005.

so ALL OTHER DENTISTS are in the pocket of the dental floss-industrial complex?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

it must be MUSIC to their ears

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

my friend is a dentist and he says you only need to brush your teeth once a day. twice was invented by the toothbrush and toothpaste corporations.

I'll take the word of every other dentist over your friend. This person brushes teeth once a day and there is stink issues. And dark lines appearing between teeth.

What I know to be most important is that your teeth produce a natural barrier against food, but this does not kick in until about 2 hours after your last brush, because fluoride strips it away. So, you should not eat within 2 hours after you brush because your teeth are more defenseless. My S.O. also brushes quickly in the morning... then goes and gets breakfast.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

if the stink issues are due to decay, it is because of the poor job the person is doing that one time they brush, not because it was only once! otherwise it is the normal stench of food/coffee/whatever which is not actually harmful except to you

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

minna, you will not convince me ever that it is okay to sleep with a mouth full of food, so you may as well stop now.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

why is it not ok if you can go all day from the time in the morning when you first brush your teeth to the time you finally brush your teeth at night? one night is only 8 hours. bacteria dont work double time at night or anything. its not pleasant but its not super harmful and its illogical to think theres something extra shocking about it.

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

and 'mouth full of food' is a bit of an exaggeration don't you think?

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

people, what part of the term "I Love Music" don't you understand?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

" its not pleasant "

u&k

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

why is it not ok if you can go all day from the time in the morning when you first brush your teeth to the time you finally brush your teeth at night?

You should do something throughout the day, but most people are too lazy. Waiting another 8 hours is twice as long with twice as much food (lunch AND dinner).

Also, at night when you sleep, certain chemical changes naturally occur. Perhaps you haven't noticed, but there is a certain thing called stankbreath that occurs when one sleeps all night without brushing that does not occur during the day. It is horrid by comparison to regular "oh, I had some onions for lunch" bad breath.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

im not saying you should put up with the stank breath! if you dont want to kiss that mouth do not do it. but your 'certain chemical changes' is vague and im not convinced yet.
also 8 hrs is half as long as a 16 hr day and it's the same amount of food, unless the person eats in their sleep

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

You sound like you have some very serious issues. Maybe it's my lifestyle, but I often go - brace yourself - days without brushing. I will use mouthwash on those days, but sometimes that isn't available. You sound like a real nag. I'm sure you do something just as gross but he / she doesn't wanna bitch about it because they're aware that you're beautiful despite your flaws and that nobody is perfect. So fuck you and your shallow bullshit hangups.

Fluoride is totally bad for you anyway.

― God's Buddy (Roger Fidelity), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:46 (twenty years ago)

Dry mouth. Saliva helps cleanse and moisten your mouth. A dry mouth enables dead cells to accumulate on your tongue, gums and cheeks. These cells then decompose and cause odor. Dry mouth naturally occurs during sleep. It's what causes "morning breath."

this happens even when you clean your teeth before bed. the smell is worse when you didnt clean them of course but its not a health hazzard, just gross.

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

god's buddy, you are crazy

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

You sure flossing is the issue here? The most alarming parts of the post are that 1. the person sleeps at 8pm (12 hours sleep?!), 2. on the couch (why don't you go out / do something different?), 3. your post exhibits a degree of clinical distance - or even vitriol - not normally found in accounts of one's lover, 4. Now you'll with-hold sex? Are you 17?

― paulhw (paulhw), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

Maybe not 17, but clearly a girl. Way to go trying to hide THAT little detail.

― Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

Seek -
"Teeth" the Mekons
"Dentist" & "Bad Tooth" Lee Scratch
"Smile" the Fall
and the Dentists had some good songs.

― TRG (TRG), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

Sleater-Kinney, "Youth Decay"

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

http://www.robichaux.net/blog/pictures/drteeth.jpg

― k/l (Ken L), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

minna, okay, you got me. If it's no big deal to not brush throughout the day, then why should it matter at night, right? Right. So, by this line of reasoning, if it's not a big deal to brush for 24 hours, then what possible difference could 2 days make? If 2 days is fine, then why not the whole week? Etc.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

no, you definitely need to brush once every 24 hours. that was my original statement.

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

Now you'll with-hold sex? Are you 17?
-- paulhw (pppso...), October 21st, 2005.
Maybe not 17, but clearly a girl. Way to go trying to hide THAT little detail.

-- Roger Fidelity (blindjimdeat...), October 21st, 2005.

No, with-holding sex is the last thing I'd want to do and I've never done it before, but if I'm sick and tired of fighting about this issue and I've decided to refuse kisses, then why the hell would I have sex?

Also, I didn't mention my gender because I knew that there would be a clear difference of reaction based on what gender I was. Congratulations for displaying your sexist tendencies.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

Basically, the with-holding of kisses/sex is a way of saying, "You're fucking gross and I'm not attracted to you, so keep on being gross and this relationship can go right in the toilet along with your teeth."

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

twice is nice

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

why is your partner falling asleep so early and on the couch?

― minna (minna), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

Ummm, regarding your gender, there was clearly never a question. And my 'sexist tendencies' have been on display here for a long, long time, so you're not breaking any ground there, either.

I stand by my original response. And if that post wasn't typed out by the hand of a woman, well, that's one dude I'd just as soon never meet.

― Gosh, Buddy! (Roger Fidelity), Friday, 21 October 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

Isn't it funny that you can see how you're wrong and still find a way to justify yourself, mr. sexist tendencies?

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

11 hours of sleep a night?

― Old School (sexyDancer), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

Yes, apparently I have no idea how tired this person is and what they do all day. I wonder if it is lifting weights, but somehow I doubt that is part of a teacher's responsibility.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Regular exercise should increase energy, this sounds like good old-fashioned depression. Good luck!

― Old School (sexyDancer), Friday, 21 October 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Depressed?!? With a partner like that!? How is that even possible?

― ninethreefive, Friday, 21 October 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

"Yes, apparently I have no idea how tired this person is and what they do all day. I wonder if it is lifting weights, but somehow I doubt that is part of a teacher's responsibility."

I should think being a teacher is far more tiring than lifting weights.

I'm with the opposition on this one. It was quite obvious the original post was typed out by a female (maybe 'cause I read it with my girlfriend's voice in my head). you nag too much; if your relationship ends for this I think the blame would be best attributed to your fixation on this rather than his lack of brushing.

but i'm really curious. you brush your teeth in the morning, and before retiring for the evening. he passes out at 7pm without brushing, wakes up and then brushes his teeth. in the past were you making out with him while he was sleeping? when in that schedule is kissing the foul mouth taking place?

tvps - "part time punks" (obviously)

― Dan Gr (certain), Friday, 21 October 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

The mix has segued from the Mekons' "Teeth" into X's "When Our Love Passed Out on the Couch." George Jones is up next.

― TRG (TRG), Friday, 21 October 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

that flin flon song about molars.

― Dan Gr (certain), Friday, 21 October 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

I'm a he, she's a she and "the opposition" has said such things as, "In the past, were you making out while he was sleeping?" This signifies to me that you have no sense of mouth rot or gingivitis and your mouth probably smells like a dirty asshole. You'd be surprised, but people's mouths do sometimes actually smell like an unwashed rectum. Literally, not figuratively. This is due to poor brushing habits, especially lack of flossing. For those of you who rarely floss, go get some dental floss and floss your back teeth. Smell the dental floss. That putrid ass-like smell is what festers in an unflossed mouth, rotting between the teeth and infecting the gums. And people can not usually smell their own bad breath. This was a tip I got from my dentist many years ago when I told him I 'never got anything anyway' when I flossed. He did not say "ass smell," mind you.

― My S.O.'s S.O., Friday, 21 October 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

Deana Carter "Did I Brush My Teeth for This?"
Cat Stevens "Moon Shadow" ("If I ever lose my mouth/All my teeth, north and south")

Marcello, this thread is music to my teeth.

― Frank Kogan (Frank Kogan), Friday, 21 October 2005 16:37 (twenty years ago)

I completely fail to see the point of having the same thread running concurrently on 2 boards, epsecially when the thread starter is posting almost the same thing on the 2 threads. Go to the ILE thread here, please:

If your partner regularly falls asleep on the couch w/o tooth brushing

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 21 October 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

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