how do you update people's tastes without offending?

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so i just started a job at a paper, i work with a bunch of girls who have just discovered air/k&d/massive attack . . . and play them in the office constantly and are so proud of how cool they are. i don't have anything against these bands, i couldn't get enough of them in high school, but just figure if people are going to be so proud of their depth of knowledge it might be nice to put on something newer, or maybe just something we could all enjoy . . . but i hate being that snob who ruins/insults what someone likes and/or puts on something prematurely and makes someone hate it before they can give it a chance

so, a situation i'm sure everyone encounters often, just curious how you'd handle the situation, or how you have handled the situation. (yeah i know headphones are always an option, but all i'm looking for is a modest upgrade to keep things friendly) my best guess is don't bother, but you never know.

― clyde, Wednesday, 30 November 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

aphex twin 'selected ambient 2'
negative approach 'total recall'
arab on radar ' soak the saddle'

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

I dont think he's looking for specific records.

― deej.. (deej..), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

This is ILM, we can only answer with specific records.

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

GIRL FRIEND. IF YOU HAF 2 ASK.

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

Basically, you honor the decisions they've made so far and don't try and get someone not to like something they like. Hipping someone to something new is never insulting; it's only when it comes across as "stop listening to that crap and listen to this" that it grates.

― Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Yeah I mean how do you ever recommend something to anyone?

― deej.. (deej..), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

YOU WRITE FOR A BAD LOCAL PAPER.

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

i recall a lot of this happening after Kid A came out and everything was "hey man, check this out. they're kind of like Radiohead"

in fact, I was introduced to Air by someone who said exactly that. I was disappointed that it didnt sound like OK Computer, but happy that it didnt sound like Kid A. take that, Kid A.

I would give them the same sort of line though. "check this out, it's kind of like...Air."

― AaronK (AaronK), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Try the subtle approach. Say something like, "yeah, Air is cool. If you're a fucking retard." Then bust out the Diplo. You should at least get a handjob out of it.

― kornrulez6969 (TCBeing), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

first off, do not bring in Arab on Radar obv....that said, take in something you like/think they'll like, but know it's going to be played to death if they hook onto it, so make it something placid, something you could ignore.

bring in some cocteau twins, their heads will explode

― a Side-walkin' Street Wheeler (aaron ef.), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

This is ILM, we can only answer with specific records.
-- Eppy (epp...), November 30th, 2005 1:52 PM. (Eppy) (later) (link)

Sadly true, these days.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

This should be pretty obvious, but why not just say something like, "Hey, have you ever heard ______? I bet you'd probably like them -- they're sorta like Air. I can burn you a copy."

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

air/k&d/massive attack

OMG, sooo last century. Get with the times girls.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Why don't you just put music you like on the stereo? If they like it, great. If not, who cares?

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

people enjoy recommendations.

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

I enjoy recommendations.

― giboyeux (skowly), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

I work in an office with people who know less music than me and it's fantastic, it really syringes my cynicism hearing people go "OMG" over 2002-era bootlegs (for instance), it reminds me what I found in those things in the first place.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

So what you're saying is, at a job you just started, you need to "update" the taste of a group of people who've been working together for a while? dude, messing with office politics that fast could ruin your listening experience even if you did get them to put on some Jesus Lizard.. I mean, who cares if they think they are cool.

If they think your cool
Does that mean everything to you?
If they think you are cool and you
Think that they think that
You’re not that cool
Does that mean everything to you?

― dar1a g (daria g), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

I enjoy plantains.

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

haha, work would be about 2,000,000,000x awesomer if we pumped the Jesus Lizard all day.

― ZR (teenagequiet), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I guess the thing is, you shouldn't be recommending stuff because you want them to change, you should be recommending stuff because you think they would enjoy it and this would be a nice, helpful thing to do, and maybe they would like you for it.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

If you don't feel comfortable enough to already have put on your own music (which you of course will have carefully vetted to make the maximum positive impact on your colleagues), then I'd say tread carefully. Co-workers aren't friends, after all. At least they're playing some more or less innocuous stuff. Like 21st century elevator music...

― Billy Pilgrim (Billy Pilgrim), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

It's really weird for me to think of an office where everyone listens to their own music. I've had volume wars with a succession of co-workers: the jambands guy, the guy who listened to the Tenacious D album 4 times a day, the metal guy, the other metal guy, the "turntablist" guy...

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

...er, "where everyone listens to the same music," I mean.

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

I just listen on headphones all day.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

make it something placid, something you could ignore ... bring in some cocteau twins

When Liz Fraser gets her dervish on, I find the Cocteau Twins most hard to ignore! Maybe in her new, whispery Massive Attack/Yann Tiersen guest-vocalist phase... she hasn't really let out the yelps in quite a few years.

Admittedly, it can be difficult to negotiate musically with folks who are "so proud of how cool they are." I agree that the best way to defuse it is to simply play things you enjoy that seem a reasonable combination of "enjoyable to you" and "accessible to others," and let them quarrel over the coolness quotient.

I have a neighbor at work who broadcasts all sorts of cheesy classic-rock type stuff, but I've managed to counteract it with the right amount of iPod volume for my own desk, to nobody's detriment.

― Myke Weiskopf (Myke Weiskopf), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

Leave it alone, man, you got it made. Many of us are subjected to Lite Radio all the live long day.

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

"Volume wars" as in the guy next to you keeps turning up his death metal over your stuff? That would drive me insane. I'm lucky enough to have my own office to hide in. But do other people on here have to deal with "other peoples' music" at work? Do you find that it moderates your taste somewhat having to accomodate other people? I'd imagine it'd be pretty hard to play anything adventurous if you're constantly worried about funny looks from other people.

― Billy Pilgrim (Billy Pilgrim), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

x-posts

― Billy Pilgrim (Billy Pilgrim), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

What is with the attitude of rockcentrism in threads like this? Who cares if other people's music isn't as "[adjective]" as yours?

If you want to suggest music with other people you know, kindly suggest some to them. If they don't catch on, hey -- who cares. Their music just as valid as yours is if it speaks to their experience in a meaningful way. There's no need for music listening re-education camps or anything.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

Or would that be rockocentrism?

― Mickey (modestmickey), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't think it's rockocentrism or anything else. Well, there are at least two things. One, I like ("one likes") to hear music I like, and I don't like to hear music I don't like. To the extent I can convince other people to play music I like, the better for me. Second (and I think more interesting), I like to hear what other people listen to, even if I don't necessarily like it myself, if the other people are engaged with it, growing with it--informed enthusiasm. I can learn from them.

But I do agree with you, there's no reason THOSE people need musical re-education, or should care what would be good for ME. Especially if they have no obligation or desire to be friends with you. It's much more important to keep the peace at work rather than coming to some harmonic understanding with each other.

― Billy Pilgrim (Billy Pilgrim), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

My rule is that, as long as other people are around, I have my music up just loud enough for me to be able to hear it. So if no one else is playing music, I keep it low, but as more and more people start to play music, it gets louder and louder. Right now all the major offenders are out of the office so I'm only going up against the radio in the next cubicle over and it's at a pretty low level. But for the first two years I was here the guy in the cubicle facing mine had his music on all day, no matter what, and while he had fairly eclectic tastes, they definitely converged on the Dead and their fellow travelers, so when he'd turn it up and "rock out," I would also turn mine up, because I did not want to hear him sing along to Phish, I wanted to hear my music. He's gone now, but the various metal guys made this technique necessary at different times as well.

It's only really been a full-fledged war where we each keep turning our music up louder and louder once or twice. The guy who got way into individual albums was one time (dude I do not need to hear The Eminem Show for the twelfth time this week, thanks) and I think an intern was another time. Fucking interns. (No offense to any interns here.)

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

who gives a shit if they like air? let them be.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

You could make a comp and bring it in, just to test the waters and find some common ground.

― darin (darin), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

these women could be total bitches. beware. bunches of girls usually scary.

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

"THERE ARE THESE GIRLS THAT I WORK WITH THAT ARE ENJOYING MUSIC THAT THEY THINK IS COOL, BUT THE PROBLEM IS I ACTUALLY HAVE WAY COOLER TASTES THAN THEY DO AND WOULD LIKE YOU TO TELL ME A WAY TO LET THEM KNOW THAT I AM COOLER THAN THEM WITHOUT COMING OFF LIKE A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE A-HOLE...PLEASE HELP THIS IS A TROUBLING SITUATION, WHAT WITH THESE WOMEN RUNNING AROUND HITHER TITHER ENJOYING MUSIC THAT IS NOT HIP ANYMORE."

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

phew.

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:01 (twenty years ago)

a bunch of girls who have just discovered air/k&d/massive attack

i find this baffling.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

HELP! New office mate likes Deep Purple

― my name is john. i reside in chicago. (frankE), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

Out of the eight people I'm working with at the mo' six of us listen to our ipods.I thought I heard one of them speak once but put igt down to obscure production values.

― tolstoy (tolstoy), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

Give the guy a break, imagine having to listen to Massive Attack!!!

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

GIVE THEM A COPY OF "NEARLY GOD"!!!!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

~~work~~the entire Washington DC metropolitan area would be about 2,000,000,000x awesomer if we pumped the Jesus Lizard all day

"I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume.."

One of the reasons I felt like liberal nonprofit groups were not the way to go is that they always listen to such shitty music in their offices. No I don't love the Indigo Girls and Ani DiFranco and early REM! No I don't care if you met Bono, please turn it off! please!

― dar1a g (daria g), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

Give them the Mo Wax "Headz" compilation. Get it all out of the system.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

on the other had, folks can reserve the right to be snobby about massive attack. ronan otm.

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

You could reverse-psych them out, give them some Cafe del Mar or something and be like, "from the other stuff you bring in I think you'd really like this."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

I'm glad I work in a part of a the library where you can't play music. I don't know what I'd do in an office-music situation. I don't get it. Generally speaking (though I can think of lots of obvious exceptions), nobody should have to endure someone else's choice of music while you are at work.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

get laid.

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:53 (twenty years ago)

you'll find after the first time these sort of stresses just wash away.

― dabnis coleman's ghost (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:53 (twenty years ago)

x-post:

I remember working in one situation like that, where there was music, typical office music radio (not muzak exactly, but a radio station that fit the bill), and the worst thing about it was that the volume was down so low. Somehow that made it even more intolerable, because I seem to automatically, beyond my conscious control, strain to hear speech or music that is almost inaudible; so I ended up giving the office radio more attention than I might have had it been louder.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

oh god, i can't STAND it when music is played at an inaudible but audible level. it is like trying to catch a fly buzzing around INSIDE your head. even if it is massive attack, i'd rather just hear it! plus, its only hte insane people who play music that low. its like they really don't want to be bothered by the sounds. i swear to god its THE MARK OF INSANITY!

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 23:03 (twenty years ago)

This happens to me a lot, and there are two ways that I deal with it. If I'm already friends with them, I don't mind being a dick about music (though, frankly, it's rarely that something's uncool that gets to me, it's the lack of variety. I like Air, Massive Attack, etc., but I've had too many albums played to death around me, especially by my little brother, to just hear the same record 30 times in a row). A bit of eye-rolling and a couple of quick suggestions usually goes a long way.
On the other hand, if it's people who I don't have any real relationship with, I might just go with the "Hey, you were listening to X a lot. When I said I liked X, my pal recommended me Y."

Above all, despite my oft-dickish impulses, I try to remember the beatific example set by my co-worker Colin, whose tastes are so damn cool that I'm surprised he deigns to talk to the rest of us, that patience and good humor help a lot. I know that I must annoy the hell out of him, what with my "I just got into the Fall! Do they have a lot of albums?" naive conversations, and he's unerringly polite and helpful (Even when he posts here).

― js (honestengine), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

i tell you, we are doomed as a race.

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

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