Anyone who loves KISS is a fucking pussy

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That's it. I've had it.

I've chimed in on threads wailing on these money hungry sissies before, even proud to have started the "Yeah, Right, Like Paul Stanley Isn't As Gay As The Day Is Long" thread, but here's the thing: my obsession with Kiss's suckiness has grown in leaps and bounds in just the past few hours.

I'm battling insomnia, watching VH1's 40 Least Metal Moments, and I'm about halfway through, and Kiss have not only already had more than one 'moment,' but they've been alluded to in other 'moments.'

Now, of course I knew all about them recording with a goddam symphony, Dynasty, Lick It Up, and their infamously shameless shilling, yet I discovered tonight that there was so much I still didn't know. Co-writing "Forever" with Michael Bolton? Gene managing Liza Minelli and hanging out with the Pet Shop Boys? This band's entire career is one big least metal moment.

I hear shitty bands almost every day. But most aren't as universally adored as Kiss. Few command the respect of a so-called 'army' of fans. Most aren't given a 'pass' for committing almost every musical (and fashion) crime known to man. I know metal dudes - hardcore metal dudes - who worship Kiss. Is this the fucking Twilight Zone?? Or am I correct in believing that the only good thing this band has ever contributed to the world was "Beth?"

Ungodly and Cream (Roger Fidelity), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:20 (nineteen years ago)

fuck's wrong with the pet shop boys?

gear (gear), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:24 (nineteen years ago)

Nothing - I like the Pet Shop Boys.

Omigosh. I hadn't even finished submitting that last post, and now they're talking about Paul Stanley playing the lead in the musical Phantom of the Opera (full circle, eh?). This is also news to me. Dear God.

Ungodly and Cream (Roger Fidelity), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:25 (nineteen years ago)

dude i think yr confusing the "50 million elvis fans can't be wrong" line of argument with "respect" here.

PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:26 (nineteen years ago)

dude, Roger everytime you post this stuff I always wonder -- how much Kiss have you actually heard?? I mean yeah, they do suck, they totally suck, but they aren't that bad. Destroyer is a truly amazing album for what it is ... just a total WTF due to all the Ezrin shit. The early shit is great because it is so bad .. Do like the band Drunks With Guns? I think Kiss are kinda like Drunks With Guns, you kinda just have to GO with it, and enjoy the fuck out of the trainwreck. How can you deny "Cold Gin" or "Firehouse", those 16 RPM classix??

Stormy Davis (diamond), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:28 (nineteen years ago)

KISS were done a disservice by being called "metal" in the first place. I think it confused a lot of people. Same with Van Halen.

If I love KISS and my favorite song of theirs is "I Was Made For Lovin' You," does that make me a double pussy?

Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:34 (nineteen years ago)

that image....

gear (gear), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:36 (nineteen years ago)

KISS blows. they should've made one album (gene should've sung) and then they'd just be the footnote they deserve to be.

If I love KISS and my favorite song of theirs is "I Was Made For Lovin' You," does that make me a double pussy?

no. but kiss are pussies for recording it.

GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Sunday, 27 August 2006 05:58 (nineteen years ago)

Or am I correct in believing that the only good thing this band has ever contributed to the world was "Beth?"

And your're calling we Kiss fans pussies?

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 27 August 2006 12:02 (nineteen years ago)

staying up watching VH1 and discovering shit about Michael Bolton and Liza Minelli is not very metal either, and nobody is calling you a pussy.

nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

>The early shit is great because it is so bad

There is good, and there is bad. There is no such thing as "so bad it's good." Kindly try to bear this in mind before expressing opinions about art and culture where other people can read/hear them. Thank you.

pdf (Phil Freeman), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

zzzzzzzzzzzz

el borracho (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 August 2006 15:41 (nineteen years ago)

Anyone this passionate about KISS really needs to reevaluate why they listen to msuic.

Anthony Lombardi (CCPO), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

But most aren't as universally adored as Kiss.

This has a LOT to do with personal associations with their music--most people LOVED Kiss when they were kids and that trumps any kind of formalist critique you could make of their music (find me someone who got into Kiss in their 20's). No amount of yuppiefied revisionism is going to take away the thrills of learning "Parasite" on a shitty Gorilla amp or listening to "Cold Gin" with your bros while drinking Bud tins in some abandonded suburban lot.

Most aren't given a 'pass' for committing almost every musical (and fashion) crime known to man.

And this is precisely why Kiss is so great! I mean it took some serious balls to go from 2nd tier NY Dolls copycats to the pretentious art rock of 'The Elder' or the cleaned-up Reaganism of "Lick it Up", etc. We praise Miles, Bowie, Dylan for their visionary stylistic transformations, why not Kiss?

I can't say I listen to them much any more, but I heard the Alive version of "Deuce" in a bar recently--wow, that is some shit hot playing by Ace on that track!! Way better than anything Billy Corgan or Dave Navarro ever fucking did, anyway.

Lynco (lync0), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

I'm one proud pussy then.

KISS is way better than the fucking Pet Shop Boys.You cut your argument off at the knees witht that admission.

don weiner (don weiner), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

Nah, PSBs rule and they've been far less annoying in their later years than Kiss ever were. But I'm fine with Kiss too.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

JBR OTM

Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

three years ago i got that kiss boxed-set at the thrift store for ten bucks and i still haven't listened to it. my brother was the kiss fanatic in the house. i liked the t.v. movie! but, yeah, they pretty much blow as far as 70's hard rock goes. i might like beth the best too! i had a good time watching ace play in a tiny bar once. before the big come-back touring. he was very entertaining as just some very tall bar band rocker.

scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:46 (nineteen years ago)

if you loved them as a kid, you will probably always love them. that's why its hard for some people who didn't love them when they were kids to understand why the hell people like them.

scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

Phil, I think part of the appeal of early Kiss is the clunkiness, though. I suppose it's because it feels sort of "organic" or human.

Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

find me someone who got into Kiss in their 20's

Me! I mean, I'd been familiar with MTV-era Kiss all throughout my childhood in the 1980s, but it wasn't until I was in my twenties and started buying a lot of vinyl from the '60s and '70s that I really got into Kiss's first incarnation.

Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

i like lick it up. the song. i don't think i've ever played the whole album. i liked domino when i first heard it.

scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

i do love the covers, look, packaging, etc. that goes without saying. they were genius marketers.

scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

Were they the first band -- metal or otherwise -- to have a consistent logo right from the start?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

Lordz of Brooklyn did a pretty good "New York Groove" at BB Kings' last night. (I don't think they know it was originally a song by Hello, though.)

Anyway, Kiss are okay. The first album and maybe a decent one-disc best-of CD (Greatest Kiss, Mercury, 1997 is my pick) is about any sane person would need, I'd think.

And yeah, The Pet Shop Boys were better.

xhuxk (xheddy), Sunday, 27 August 2006 16:56 (nineteen years ago)

queen had a logo early one. hmm, i dunno, i can't think right now.

and, yeah, i love pet shop boys. i could never love kiss.

scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

early ON...

scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

It's Peter Criss that makes them so klunky, isn't it? The Charlie Watts of heavy metal.

Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

jesus, tim, don't let stormy read that. (evenifikindaagree)

scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

Also, Kiss were better than Motley Crue or Twisted Sister, which counts for something I think. (But not nearly as good as Slade.)

And I'm not sure I get the clunky thing. Not like they were Aerosmith or AC/DC or whatever, but there's tons of clunkier metal out there. "Rock and Roll All Nite" is not an horrible dance song.

xhuxk (xheddy), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

Were they the first band -- metal or otherwise -- to have a consistent logo right from the start?

http://www.goodrock.com/productpics/shirts/2/thumbs/who601.gif

They had it from the start, but did they keep using it long enough for it to really count?

Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

the pet shop boys are twenty times better than kiss.

gear (gear), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

They had it from the start, but did they keep using it long enough for it to really count?

Yeah, that's the thing -- I'm thinking of *consistent* use, something that never once changes. Like Iron Maiden, say.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:26 (nineteen years ago)

I like how Paul and Gene appear to know every song by heart, bringing up obscurities whenever the opportunity arises. That every "she's a wet dream/you know what I mean" isn't tossed off, but rather a treasured part of their collective experience. I like that and "Heaven's On Fire."

Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

Kiss fans aren't pussies, though. They gleefully take a beating and ask for more.

Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 27 August 2006 17:38 (nineteen years ago)

I suppose the PSB could be counted as better than KISS by only the fact that they released far fewer songs; their ratio of passable vs. shit is better than KISS in that regard. But the five best KISSongs are easily better than the five best PSB songs. I mean, that's not even close.

And live? Seriously? The PSB easily rank up there with the worst concerts I've ever seen. The PSB audience is home of the pussies.

don weiner (don weiner), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

companion thread
why so many gays love Pet Shop Boys??

timmy tannin (pompous), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

hmmm...

rock'n'roll is first and foremost FUN music

Kiss rules! Why do we have to complicate things?

Arnar Eggert Thoroddsen (arnart1802), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

PSBs pretty much started to stink after three albums; Kiss pretty much started to stink after one album. But Kiss admittedly put out more entertaining songs in their post-starting-to-stink period. As for whose best five songs are better, let's call it a tie -- it's pretty close. But if Kiss were better live, PSBs had better videos.

xhuxk (xheddy), Sunday, 27 August 2006 19:58 (nineteen years ago)

(And since I've never seen either live or particularly had an interest in doing so, I'll take Don's word for it.) (And also, Pet Shop Boys' fourth-best album is better than Kiss's second-best album.)

xhuxk (xheddy), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:01 (nineteen years ago)

I don't think their clunkiness detracts from their danceability one bit. Seems like it's partly the sluggishness (one component in how they end up so clunky, I think) that makes that first album so groovy.

Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:16 (nineteen years ago)

dude you have fucking problems spending that much time and using that much thought in writing about soemthing you hate with passion i dont know because you never said it but do you like metal or rock?? if you do then fuck you because we owe everthing to kiss for rock 'n'roll and fashion like you so stubornly said was "gay" you can go fuck yourself and finish living out your years in confinement in your moms basement


-nikki sixx

nikki sixxx (nikki sixx), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

yeah i think the clunkiness comes from Criss; probably the worst drummer of any major rock band. that I can think of anyway. and yeah TIM, I can't believe you compared him to Watts!! Mercy.

Stormy Davis (diamond), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

"we owe everthing to kiss for rock 'n'roll and fashion" vs. "icp are a rap group that have been around since the begining of rap"

Marmot (marmotwolof), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

(NB: I like Kiss)

Marmot (marmotwolof), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

Were they the first band -- metal or otherwise -- to have a consistent logo right from the start?

http://www.tonystrading.co.uk/pix/logos/annuals/monkees.gif

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:40 (nineteen years ago)

PS: Have enjoyed them since I was 6; my favorite album from them now is Dynasty.

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

I would normally agree with you, J., except they didn't use that on some of the later albums IIRC. An important forebear, though.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 27 August 2006 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

oh tim.

also, both kiss and psb suck.

Igor Adkins (Grodd), Sunday, 27 August 2006 21:15 (nineteen years ago)

By Associated Press
Published August 26, 2006, 8:11 PM CDT


JERUSALEM -- The flamboyant, Israeli-born rocker Gene Simmons has sent a televised message of support to an Israeli soldier seriously wounded in fighting in Lebanon, calling him his 'hero.'

Simmons, 57, founded the heavy metal band Kiss in the 1970s and became famous for wearing white and black face makeup, spitting fire and sticking his tongue out at sold-out elaborate performances.

Simmons, the band's bass player, was born Chaim Witz in the northern Israeli city of Haifa before emigrating to New York as a child.

Simmons sent a video message this week to Ron Weinreich, an Israeli soldier and die-hard Kiss fan, who was seriously wounded in Israel's 34-day fight with Hezbollah guerrillas in Lebanon. Weinreich remains hospitalized and is paralyzed from the chest down. Above his hospital bed, a Kiss poster is spread across the wall.

Weinreich's brother had his wedding relocated this week to the hospital, so his brother could attend. At the wedding, the surprise recording was played.

"Hi Ron, this is Gene Simmons. I'm talking to you from my home. I can't tell you how proud I am of you, and how much the world and Israel owes you a debt of gratitude," he said. "From the bottom of my heart, you are a real hero, you are everybody's hero, you are my hero and I wish I could be there with you."

Suddenly switching to confident Hebrew, Simmons added: "My name is Chaim, I was born in Haifa."

He concluded by saying in English: "I wish you my best, a happy life and I hope the wedding comes off and everybody should honor you because you are a real hero."

Stormy Davis (diamond), Sunday, 27 August 2006 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

"My name is Chaim, and I am funky."

Marmot (marmotwolof), Sunday, 27 August 2006 22:19 (nineteen years ago)

Oy...

Monty Von Byonga (Monty Von Byonga), Monday, 28 August 2006 03:04 (nineteen years ago)

Sometimes I love kiss because they're so stupid, sometimes I love them because they're good. However, I will argue that the version of "I Was Made for Loving You" on the symphony record is freaking awesome in every sense of the word.

Jeff Treppel (Heavy Metal Hamster), Monday, 28 August 2006 05:40 (nineteen years ago)

Addendum: basically, it takes an already over-the-top band and sends them to Meatloaf levels of absurdity, but like Meatloaf, it actually works.

Jeff Treppel (Heavy Metal Hamster), Monday, 28 August 2006 05:42 (nineteen years ago)

Comparing Kiss to Pet Shop Boys is like comparing I Piss on Your Grave to a PBS fundraising special.

darin (darin), Monday, 28 August 2006 06:17 (nineteen years ago)

I mean Kiss is extremely stupid, but the Pet Shot Boys are so boooooooring.

darin (darin), Monday, 28 August 2006 06:21 (nineteen years ago)

Anyone who loves KISS is fucking a pussy, more like, amirite?

Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Monday, 28 August 2006 06:32 (nineteen years ago)

i remember lots of older dudes from my hometown when i was little that liked KISS. they weren't pussies. they were scary dudes with moustaches and they liked to get in fights...i remember this guy billy pankuk beat up derek ostberg really bad once...derek had long hair and billy got him down on the ground and grabbed him by his hair and kept banging his head against the ground...billy liked KISS....

M@tt He1geson: Real Name, No Gimmicks (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 28 August 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

KISS may not have been a great band really, but boy did they have RIFFS!! Twas all about the rock 'n' roll experience with them, which explains partially why Alive is one of my all-time fave records. They were just fun.

O'Connor (OConnorScribe), Monday, 28 August 2006 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

I was in this band with this girl Ace who was OBSESSED with KISS (guess where the nickname came from). She had this ancient old dub-of-a-dub video of Paul Stanley hosting some weird ancient MTV show and there were these girls in bikinis and he came in through the door and said "DADDY'TH HOME". Gayest thing I have ever seen in my LIFE.

captain reverend gandalf jesus (nickalicious), Monday, 28 August 2006 18:23 (nineteen years ago)

This band's entire career is one big least metal moment.

-- Ungodly and Cream (ziggazigahh...), August 27th, 2006.

wake up, man. metal sucks. it's like a trucker hat, a tattoo, or drinking pabst blue ribbon, or having johnny cash on compact disc. so why in the world would being "least metal" be a bad thing? perhaps you were born in the 80s and didn't get to enjoy how bizarre the 70s truly were. HR pufnstuff, kiss, big collars, saturday morning tv, cereal, shag carpets, wicker chairs. kiss isn't about face value or pitchfork "cred". they want to make money and be living, breathing cartoon characters. is that a crime? i, too, was the biggest critic of kiss. i even started a webpage in the mid 90s dedicated to hating kiss. but one day i got really drunk and listened to their first album. i was hooked. then i listened to hotter than hell. i was a fan. then i listened to dressed to kill. now i have an ace frehley t-shirt. my advice to you: start drinking.

shock of daylight (shock of daylight), Monday, 28 August 2006 19:57 (nineteen years ago)

kissucksssssssssssssssssssssss. i used to say this all the time to a kiss fan i knew, they really are gluttons for punishment

=[[ (eman), Monday, 28 August 2006 20:49 (nineteen years ago)

I think this thread was just an excuse to wake Alex in NYC from his immortal slumber.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 28 August 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

he's a kiss fan? figures

=[[ (eman), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:12 (nineteen years ago)

you just think you're too cool for kiss

Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:25 (nineteen years ago)

wake up, man. metal sucks. it's like a trucker hat, a tattoo, or drinking pabst blue ribbon, or having johnny cash on compact disc. so why in the world would being "least metal" be a bad thing?

[...]but one day i got really drunk and listened to their first album. i was hooked. then i listened to hotter than hell. i was a fan.

nice try. pussy.

GOD PUNCH TO HAWKWIND (yournullfame), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:39 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, really, that was the lamest thing I've ever read. So, I'm confused - this 'drinking' you refer to, then, shock of daylight, it can be anything BUT PBR? How about Zima? Seems like that would go well with "Let's Put The X In Sex" and other Kiss 'hits'

Sideshow Bob Is In The Duff Blimp (Roger Fidelity), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:48 (nineteen years ago)

Tim stfu plz

=[[ (eman), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 03:37 (nineteen years ago)

no cold gin for you

Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 04:03 (nineteen years ago)

=]

=[[ (eman), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 04:07 (nineteen years ago)

their movie was pretty funny, i'll give em that

=[[ (eman), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 04:12 (nineteen years ago)

Every KISS fan should be forced to listen to the entire Gene Stanley - Terry Gross interview.

Shoes say, yeah, no hands clap your good bra. (goodbra), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 07:02 (nineteen years ago)

I thought this was about the radio station.

StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 07:17 (nineteen years ago)

all the songs on double platinum are real cool. that's about all the kiss i need though, except "goin' blind" i kinda wish that was on there. and "tears are falling" off of asylum.

M@tt He1geson: Real Name, No Gimmicks (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

that interview by Gross with Stanley is fucking hilarious. A perfect summation of her intellect.

don weiner (don weiner), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

If that's the interview I'm thinking of, STANLEY'S the one
who got the worse end of it. He's part of the reason so many
people have watched Spinal Tap and thought it was a
straightforward documentary.

Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

err, I think Shoes was talking about the one with Gene Simmons. Because that one was fucking hilarious.

don weiner (don weiner), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 00:21 (nineteen years ago)

Er, yes. Simmons. I guess I've shown my hand and revealed my non-true-believer-in-KISS colors.

Shoes say, yeah, no hands clap your good bra. (goodbra), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 00:27 (nineteen years ago)

Here's a tidbit:

Terry Gross: Are you interested in music, or is the goal of being in a rock band to have sex a lot?

Gene Simmons: I believe in my heart that anyone who gets up there and says what they're doing is art is on crack, and is delusional, and that in point of fact, what they really ... their modus operandi initially -- perhaps it changed when they started to question their sexuality, but clearly, initially -- it was to get laid and make lots of money. And anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you. The reason we all wanted to pick up instruments initially ... you know, publicly, anyway -- I will grant you there are those people who really love music and simply want to do it as a private pleasure. The jury is out, I have no comment, but as soon as you get up publicly and want other people to hear it, it seems odd that we really get off on the notion that the opposite sex, the fairer sex -- that's you -- like what we do. And perhaps, if we do it really well, you'll think, "Gee, he's not only talented and bright, but he's kinda cute, too." That's what we're hoping for. Against all odds. And in music, it's the great aphrodisiac that says that even though I'm short, fat, ugly, bald, and ... and I'm hung like a second-grader, but if I'm in a rock band, I've got a better than average chance of bedding you down than if I was a dentist. I didn't make those rules. I come from Israel. I'm ... I'm simply a student at your feet. This is what I've noticed.

Shoes say, yeah, no hands clap your good bra. (goodbra), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 00:41 (nineteen years ago)

Apparently Simmons is much more obnoxious and punchable than I previously imagined. Thanks for the link.

paid in cigarettes (paid in cigarettes), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 05:16 (nineteen years ago)


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