Characterize the Fans of These Bands...

Boards of Canada: Nathan Barley

... And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead People that spend £150 on their sunglasses and £10 on the rest of their outfit. May be studying music production at the local college, will have a seven string guitar at home. Commonly seen putting up notices for a drummer in guitar stores

Eminem Twats.

Can History teacher, often stops talking about the Weimar republic to mention the time he stood behind Frank Zappa in a queue for the toilets once, always watches Top of the Pops 2.

Modest Mouse

Godspeed You Black Emperor

Le Tigre

Dude! I thought it was Blue Oyster Cult. I feel so out of touch.

i) Delete your hard drive or face imminent prosecution. ii) With the deletion of hard drives, a new structure will emerge. iii) The future beckons, guided by structures of transparency, goodwill, and common decency. So delete it now.

II. Why does Adrian Belew suck so much?

Shouldn't that be suKc? :)

2. studying design at university. social pot smoker. likes the internet. funky glasses and/or funky shoes.

3. indie rock scenester. may have owned a skateboard and/or daydream nation during the mid-nineties. cynical. now fond of dark colours and cigarettes.

4. ...

5a. amateur music journalist. reads 'the wire'. likes beer. nitpicks the latest movies.

modest mouse: the transition from youth to adulthood was not so smooth for you. you long to return to childhood but you're excited by the allure of dating and university. you still have no idea how naive you are. your parents are quite nice people, though.

godspeed you black emperor: you like cigarettes, and you used to argue about politics in coffee shops but now you don't have the energy. you don't smell particularly good, and sometimes you like being alone. in fact you like being alone a lot.

le tigre: aha! this is a trick question. everybody knows le tigre doesn't have any fans. they're crap!

So I was thinking, every single thing about Nickelback is so dorky, and I mean chumpy "flip the channel, I can't handle the corniness" dorky, not accessibly cute or funny redeemable-dorky, that only a certain type of corny MALE can dig this shit, the kind that cried at Rocky V.....therefore part two of my theory states that the only GIRLS under 25 capable of listening to this shit, pussy be smelling like hash browns. All of them.

My logic is bulletproof, try and refute it.

1. Gay
2. Queer
3. Light in the Loafer
4. Homosexual
5. a) Swishy b) Fey c) In the Closet

Pavement Fans = Grateful Dead Fans = Chicago Cubs Fans

-- fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmo...), May 22nd, 2002.

That's so me it's not funny! Except I don't read The Wire, I just nick the free CDs from work's subscription.

*envious*

1. fervently materialist. shops at the gap. loves microsoft.

I dunno about "fervently," but the sale rack at the gap has cheap t-shirts that last forever, and my pirated copy of XP serves me very well.

2. studying design at university. social pot smoker. likes the internet. funky glasses and/or funky shoes.

My glasses: black, plastic, and rectangular. My shoes: red suede.

3. indie rock scenester. may have owned a skateboard and/or daydream nation during the mid-nineties. cynical. now fond of dark colours and cigarettes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.

5a. amateur music journalist. reads 'the wire'. likes beer. nitpicks the latest movies.

Of course! What self respecting human doesn't like beer and nitpick movies? What kind of goddamned fun-hater would live theri life any other way?

1. 30-year-old ex-raver who has settled down and likes some relaxing background music that is at least slightly remiscent of what he used to dig in those raves.

2. Same as 1., only with a bigger record collection and more interesting in keeping up with the latest trends and fads.

3. Actually don't know this band other than their name, so I have to pass this one

4. Adolescent 13 year-old who loves to piss off parents and teachers, plus he desperately want to stress to his mates that he isn't gay

5. Basically the same audiences for all three, only Can's and King Crimson's audience is about 10 year older and has a considerably less positive attitude towards punk.
40-year-old ex-art school students dominate this group though.