New York Press vs. the Shortlist: "Douchebags!"

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Under the whimsical header "Wilco Wuz Robbed!":

"The saddest trend among music critics over the past decade has been an increasing laziness in defining the musical underground. Rock writers in small cities last year broke their ankles in a rush to show their hipster credentials by praising the Strokes and White Stripes. Big-city rock critics, meanwhile, showed their own hipness by rushing to praise the Strokes and White Stripes.
Whether or not you like those bands, it’s becoming increasingly evident that lazy music writers everywhere are totally reliant on following a mandate of cool. This sad state has now reached critical mass with the announced candidates for a stupid idea known as the Shortlist Music Prize.
The big concept is that this is the award for poor struggling artists whose albums haven’t been certified gold by the RIAA. And this year’s finalists? Doves, the Flaming Lips, Zero 7, the Avalanches, DJ Shadow, N-E-R-D, Aphex Twin, Bjork, Cee-Lo and the Hives.
With the possible exception of Zero 7, every one of those bands has gotten huge amounts of media coverage. They’re certainly all in a position that any number of veteran struggling acts would envy. But don’t expect any kind of thoughtfulness from the Shortlist awards. Their model is the UK's Mercury Music Prize, which last year honored long-struggling underground artist David Bowie.
Don’t just blame the rock critics, though. The list was helpfully narrowed down by a long list of consulting critic’s darlings like Kim Gordon, Alanis Morissette, Beck and other useless creatures. This isn’t a celebration of underheard artists. This is just another bunch of douchebags congratulating themselves from deep within the VIP lounge."

― Nate Patrin, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Gee, I missed all the Rolling Stone covers featuring Cee-Lo and the Avalanches. I'll look harder next time.

― Nate Patrin, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Who do they want to win?

David Bowie is on this years mercury shortlist not last years and fingers x-ed wont win.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Well Zero 7 got the least amount of critical hype so I'm assuming they're Taylor's favorites. Then again, maybe they got the least amount of critical hype because everyone thinks they're mediocre Air knockoffs.

― Nate Patrin, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah but who do they want to be in the running?

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I am shocked and amazed by this, but they DIDN'T SAY. I suppose by giving away who their choices were they'd be contributing to EVIL ROCKCRIT HYPE and therefore would be douchebags with worthless opinions!

― Nate Patrin, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Does Bjork really need more recognition though? She is a household name, if only for the notoriety for her Academy Awards dress. Her music gets enough mtv/radio exposure too.

The masses are aware of her music, they just don't want to buy it.

― minta, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Who are these masses and can we eat them?

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:28 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll give you Bjork ("Her dress was a GOOSE! What a kooky chick!") and Aphex Twin ("His videos are so WEIRD") but most of these acts are either (a) recent breakthroughs with little to no solid foundation of critical support (watch Rolling Stone forget about the Hives no matter how good their follow-up will be), or acts hyped primarily by alt-weeklies and relegated to the ***1/2-out-of-***** reviews pile in the back of various mainstream magazines and newspapers (ask Johnny Ballcap in his F150 if he knows any Flaming Lips songs besides "She Don't Use Jelly"). I suppose if the New York Press wants to start an awards show for bands NOBODY gives a fuck about then they can paint a bunch of bowling trophies gold and hand them out to all the pseudo-Krautrockers and Anticon rejects they want.

― Nate Patrin, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I assumed the Shortlist was simply the American knockoff of the Mercury, but when I read that it was supposed to promote the struggling underground I nearly bought one (is the Mercury supposed to promote the struggling underground? I always assumed it was an attempt at a pop music Booker prize). Pray, when will radio embrace the Neptunes? Or Cee-Lo or the Hives for that matter? There isn't an act on that list that hasn't received a great deal of press, an I'd be shocked if any of them haven't been the subject of a Rolling Stone feature in the past year and five of them either have been or eventually will make the cover of Spin. That said, whining about an award that has little to no impact on sales, cred, or press is beyond pointless; none of these guys cracked open the champagne when they got the news. The Brits are much, much better at this sort of thing, and it ain't like they're that great at it.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:37 (twenty-three years ago)

The Mercury is an attempt at a contemporary music Booker prize. (One thing the Shortlist doesnt do is put a token classical record on its list each year).

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:39 (twenty-three years ago)

The award would be much better if it was called the Strawberry Shortlist and they let Daryl Strawberry pick the contenders. Cee-Lo still makes the cut.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:39 (twenty-three years ago)

"One thing the Shortlist doesnt do is put a token classical record on its list each year." - ahem, Aphex Twin.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:41 (twenty-three years ago)

having wooshy floaty parts does not a classical record make

― Josh (Josh), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell it to Aphex Twin.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

"...an increasing laziness in defining the musical underground."

Stalinist. Jackboot. Prick. Asshole.

"Rock writers in small cities last year broke their ankles in a rush to show their hipster credentials by praising the Strokes and White Stripes. Big-city rock critics, meanwhile, showed their own hipness by rushing to praise the Strokes and White Stripes."

This is nakedly untrue.

Dude, Josh, I totally heard Josh Bell and LA Phil are doing a Windowlicker Suite.

― g.cannon (gcannon), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:04 (twenty-three years ago)

"Pray, when will radio embrace the Neptunes?"

This is the funniest thing I have ever read on ILM.

About the article: I think he has a very good point. The prize for the winner is $50,000, which would mean a lot to many acts, but jackshit to most of those listed above. Nearly all of those albums have sold over 100,000 copies... I think the Shortlist was conceived to celebrate bands who sell around 10,000 copies.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Who won the shortlist last year?

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Last year it was Sigur Ros.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah most of that list is more famous than Sigur Ros was.

The best way of getting attention for new music with this kind of prize is to have a shortlist where people will probably have heard of half the names.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Considering the financial prize I guess it is a positive, if tempered greatly by the fact that none of the acts are hard up. Where's the money coming from?

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:21 (twenty-three years ago)

presumably part of the meaning of "media coverage" = ie by outlets which aren't new york press etc (mercury gets ppl onto TV who don't normally get into TV etc etc) (actually i'm not sure if that's true but the UK media settlement is much more "indie" friendly than the US, i'm guessing)

btw all those who wish to quiz simon frith on the rights and wrongs of mercury and why his books are so great can do so
here until friday (eg 20th sept)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the money comes from the record labels. I'm not sure about that, but the man who put the Shortlist together gathered some sort of financial backing from the Big 5, I believe. This could all be completely false, by the way.

Oh, last year's finalists:

Air 10,000 Hz Legend
Ryan Adams Heartbreaker
Bilal 1st Born Second
Nikka Costa Everybody Got Their Something
Dandy Warhols Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia
Jay Dee Welcome to Detroit
Gorillaz Gorillaz
PJ Harvey Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea
Talib Kweli & Hi Tek Reflection Eternal
Sigur Ros Agaetis Byrjun

― Yancey (ystrickler), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Seems very likely - "Buzz Bin" died so they came up with this - instant industry approved next big thing status applied to winner. The Grammy's nominees for 'best alternative album' are more interesting. Hell, the Grammy's nominees for 'best album' are more interesting.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Seems very likely - "Buzz Bin" died so they came up with this

Mutha's Day Out wuz robbed!

― Andy K (Andy K), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Stalinist. Jackboot. Prick. Asshole.

Perhaps, but taking another angle on it, this statement -- "They’re certainly all in a position that any number of veteran struggling acts would envy." -- is very true indeed. The Walkabouts are my favorite example in this regard, considering they've put out a string of albums over the last ten years in particular that piss all over most of the more hyped alt acts, whoever the hell they are these days.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 14:54 (twenty-three years ago)

They're the Vines Ned, they're the Vines.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the Shortlist was conceived to celebrate bands who sell around 10,000 copies.

Ten thousand is very low – are you sure you didn’t mean 100,00? Anyway, the rules stipulate that an album cannot have been certified Gold (500,000 copies sold) at the time of its nomination. I just looked on riaa.com and the Björk album has still not reached that point and the others really have no chance at doing so. (The Hives are way off, IIRC, from a USA Today cover story about a month ago –they were still in the late 100K or early 200K level with all the hype and MTV airplay.)

― scott pl., Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Can't be them, I didn't think of them. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, bother -- that should say "100,000"!

― scott pl,, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:33 (twenty-three years ago)

The Hives album will go gold.

But yeah, I mean 10,000, not 100,000. Sigur Ros certainly were much closer to the former than the latter.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)

B-but Josh, floaty != classical but avant-garde?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 17:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Alanis Morrissette is a critics' darling? On what planet?

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 18:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Ann Powers', I think.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 19:09 (twenty-three years ago)

well, yes, Christgau's and Keith Harris's and Laura Sinagra's, too. but I always understood "critics' darling" to mean "widespread critical support" rather than "a handful of advocates + 10 million sales worldwide"

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 19:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not sure why anyone is complaining about this. It's easy to sit here on ILM and agree that the Hives are well-known and don't require further attention, but the average music fan in this country -- leave alone the average person -- is hardly even likely to have seen them on Conan O'Brien one night and wondered who the hell they were and whether their singer's Jagger impression was meant to be cool or funny.

The way these things work isn't that the intended audience is supposed to hear about new bands, it's that the band they already like -- the band they were excited to see get a half-page mention in Spin or something -- will win, and they'll be excited.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 19:44 (twenty-three years ago)

The Hives are well known. The VMAs was all about the Hives ferchrissakes... They are in the Top 20 of rock radio. How much more attention do you need? Nike commercials like the Mooney Suzuki?

― Yancey (ystrickler), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

"The VMAs was all about the Hives ferchrissakes..."

I believe you underestimate the importance of CHUNKY AXL.

― Nate Patrin, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 20:08 (twenty-three years ago)

If you're giving out an award for the best of the biggest of the little guys, you're going to please pretty much nobody.

As to this: "Doves, the Flaming Lips, Zero 7, the Avalanches, DJ Shadow, N-E-R-D, Aphex Twin, Bjork, Cee-Lo and the Hives [...are] certainly all in a position that any number of veteran struggling acts would envy."

Well, by and large, they all made pretty enviable records, too.

"This isn’t a celebration of underheard artists."

hmm, which snarky comment to go with... quelle horreur! No shit sherlock, etc...

(btw I've had the word "douchebag" in my head all day and I can't stop giggling)

― g.cannon (gcannon), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

If I were a more crass sort I'd say something like "well at least a douchebag sees a woman's nether regions once in a while" but I don't think that's exactly warranted. Feel free to steal it though.

― Nate Patrin, Tuesday, 17 September 2002 20:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Why is it correct to assume that any of these people are well off financially? Unrelated: That song "Get Free" by the Vines is totally awesome, shame about the creampuff production.

― Kris (aqueduct), Tuesday, 17 September 2002 20:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Them there bigass tourbuses for one.

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 00:28 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, the Neptunes do all that production work for all those million-billion-selling artists like Jay-Z for FREE. so they're definitely in the poorhouse.

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 00:46 (twenty-three years ago)

No no no no not them, Matos - N*E*R*D! Think of that third guy who's not actually in the Neptunes, you heartless sumbitch!

― Nate Patrin, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 00:57 (twenty-three years ago)

yr right. yeah, he has to pack his own bag lunch while the other 2 eat caviar, eh? [[slaps own wrist]]

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 01:01 (twenty-three years ago)

douchebag is one of my most favoritest words, i used to say it a lot, probably too much. i'm surprised that nerd is not gold record.

― ron (ron), Wednesday, 18 September 2002 03:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I had to sell my tank recently. This prize money will definitely help me out.

― Richard D. James, Wednesday, 18 September 2002 06:10 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

So NERD won the Shortlist Prize. That record was boring, but they could sure use that $50,000, huh?

― Yancey (ystrickler), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 21:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, they'll need to hire a secretary to handle all their calls for remixes and production. Actually, $50K a year sounds like a pretty good salary for that...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 October 2002 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

Who are these masses and can we eat them?
-- Tom (ebros@n...), September 17th, 2002.

DEUTSCHLAND OF THE CANIBLES

― , Saturday, 14 December 2002 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

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