assholes who are much taller than you who scream at you and move you out of the way by force so they can get closer to the front at a show: dud or dud?

bollocks, you sourpuss - you're just pissed off that you got in all good'n'early to snatch a good spot, and someone else is using the time-honoured "Lazy gigger trick #176" to steal a march on you!

It's right up there with "getting to the bar in a crowded pub by ringing the pub number on your mobile, asking for yourself, pushing through to the bar to 'take the call', shrugging when there's 'no answer' and promptly ordering a round of drinks 'while you're there'"...genius trix all, to be encouraged, even if only to wind up whining stick-in-the-muds like...ah forget it.

And, hey, when you have underage gals getting shitfaced and feigning interest in the head-banging majesty of the group in question while schmoozing with their male friend, or when you have backpackers carrying encyclopedia sets in your face, or when you're in the main traffic lane for all incoming / outgoing / drink-buying traffic, or when the shit-for-brains next to you decides to start a one-man moshpit, or when you're getting bumped by this scenester "waiting" for the band to play her song by leaving the floor 35 times during the set, or when some goddamn newly-forged couple decides to play Doctor right in front of you, or when there's a sizable gap in front of the folks in front of you that said folks will not fill (assholes), or when dipwads rush the stage just before the headliner starts regardless of the flexibility of the crowd in front of them, or just having the dumb luck of emitting pheremones that attract every single person in the club at least 6 inches taller than you, or the throng of mealy-mouthed unwashed hipster fucks that can't be bothered to SHUT UP when the opening band (or, better yet, the shitty band their friend's in) isn't playing, or just about every other damn annoyance you can think of, is there any reason to enjoy live music? And lord help you if you actually answer this baited rhetorical question.

anyone who walks around with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other - i don't know _anyone_ who smokes cigarettes and yet every show i go to is filled with people smoking, seemingly only to have something to do with their free hand.

people. just people in general, i'm fucking sick of them.

Hey, if you want off-key dipshits screaming in your personal space, lemme know - I'll come over and bring some beer.

the singer popped me in the lip with his microphone and made me bleed blood.

i'm american.

I have my downstairs neighbours to do that for me. But without the beer.

I fuckin' hate this. What's worse is when they don't use any excuse at all, they just push in front of you and offer a half-assed "sorry" (no you're not -- if you were sorry you'd go back to where you were before and stop blocking my sightline).

RE: Smoking... I was at a Melt Banana show last week - full of 20-something hipsters - ALL fucking smoking. When a room is completely filled with smoke - why would you bother to light up? Why not just bring a straw to suck on and save some money?

Though I do love a show where people are dancing, drinking, screaming between songs, etc... I just hate talkers..

And I went to see Bob Mould a few months back (not a great show by the way) - there were these two dudes singing into their beer bottles to each other and playing air guitar. Uh, that's why I started going to Husker Du shows in the first place - so quit it.

This is classic if you spill beer on them.

I will staunchly defend the "singing along with the band" thing, but then again oftentimes I'm more in tune with the band than the singer on stage. (Anyone ever see the "treat" of a Sneaker Pimps live show? The singer was fine until they got to "Six Underground", at which point she sang the whole song a HALF STEP SHARP. I wanted to cry.)

i see yr point dan but most ppl who sing along with bands can't sing!! you are an exception and not the rule i am afraid :(

"I'd rather be a shover than a pusher 'cause a pusher's a jerk" -De La Soul (but are they "real" hip hop s trife and jess?).

... Were you the guy sitting in front of me at that Cure show???

And I did beat someone up at a (ahem) Weezer show maybe 6 years ago. He totally deserved it though. Long story, but I did the right thing.

Also, assholes who try to engage bands in political discussion between songs. I've seen this happen a NUMBER of times--usually at Anton Bordman or Dropdead shows, since, well, they do talk a lot.

Girl dancing around at the front, arms flailing, wildly catching her balance every three seconds, making me wonder what she took before she got there and why it only kicks in during the set of the band I want to see.

The flip-side to assholes who are much taller: getting stuck behind the large, smelly guy in a crowd, having your face pressed directly into the area underneath his shoulder blades, and thanking God for the small piece of fabric, albeit smelly, which separates you from his actual skin.

The assholes who berate the band when they try to do witty banter or make sound adjustments--"Just play the fucking song!" Go home and listen to the record if all you want is to hear the songs one after another.

V/A clubber, who holds the recording equipment--or Lomo--up so as to obstruct everyone's view. If you go to a Fugazi show and do this, Ian will tell you to move out of the fucking way. I know these people are responsible for great photos or bootlegs later, but damn.

oh yeah another thing!! people who SING ALONG with the band! if i wanted to hear a bunch of total dipshits sing loud and off-key, i'd go to some bad karaoke night, not spend $$ to see a band i was really into
or, you would go to Dashboard confessional show.

ALL TALL PEOPLE MUST FUCKING BURN - i was standing in the back for AMT and giant, dorky anorexic jerkoffs with their beer and cigarette held in the same hand extended in front of them like a fucking lantern illuminating how incredibly cool they are while almost singing people's eyelashes off.

the people who try to get "past" you but somehow wind up "in front of you." this especially includes the giant load/behemoth fucker who camped out in front of me, giving me a spectacular view of him smoking and the zits on the back of his neck.

the 7'2" indie rock fuckhead who needed to buy a fresh bottle of beer every 5 minutes which involved shoving half of the room out of the way (pick a place, stay there, and try to go for 5 seconds without drinking or fucking smoking).

and i'm really tired of hearing people blag on about their musical projects or whatever (if i hear the words "oh, is it a CDR?" followed by something like "yeah, chut's putting it out on his new label, it's sort of lo-fi psychedelic folk drone noise no wave" i'm going to retch up so much BLACK FUCKING BILE it will submerge the earth for 40 days and nights).

no more shows for me until 2010.

Have you not heard of the guest list?

Anyway, I think you're all morons. Live music is 100x better than records, except when records are played in clubs which is between .5 and 2 times better than live music*

*According to my research.