delete everything i've ever posted

what did i do, exactly? all of a sudden there is some hate thread about me, which was entirely unprovoked. could you at least delete that thread? i'll never post here again, you can believe that.

and yeah the mods aren't going to delete that thread, or your posts, sucks I know.

now both of you, kisses!! :D

-- Pablo (pabloalphons...), April 13th, 2006. (Pablo A) (later)

qft

Didn't you meet your girlfriend on myspace?

Killy, it might not have been "nice" but if you're gonna post on the noise board--or live life--you need to learn to take it on the chin occasionally. Getting this upset is like throwing chum in the water, especially with Jon.

THE "FACE IS EVERYTHING" GUIDE TO THE INTERNET by dianne and reu

never post yr phone number. ever. ever-ever-ever. don't even pm it to ppl, but if u MUST, make sure to say that they should never ever post it publicly.

never post ur full name! go by nickname if possible

never post how much u paid for ANYTHING. u may post wut u bought, but u should never reveal how much it cost u. this works really well when u post something that is seemingly really, really expensive. also, if someone insists on asking, u should say "don't worry about it" or "u can't afford it" or " it was free. don't ask how, tho; i can't hook u up."

never post where u work, work address, work email, work phone #, salary, work ANYTHING

never, EVER, EVER-EVER-EVER post good news before it's actually happened. for example, never post that ur in the running for "best dressed white girl in osh-kosh b'gosh county." if u do, never make updates on its progress. u should only post something if it's already a done deal. this goes for similar things like big purchases, school applications, job searches, possible vacations , and so on.

never post about ur (fucked up) family, family name, member's names, anything family related

if ur visiting a city, NEVER post it about it publicly. if u do, do not be corny and say "attn: [city] name" or "i'm going to be inside u." contact everyone privately.

ideally, no one should know that u visited until MONTHS later, when u casually mention it in passing. remember how darth vader did a surprise inspection of the death star in star wars? that's how it should be. like a secret, unofficial state dignitary visit.

better yet, u should not tell anyone at all. u should just go, do yr thing, then leave, never to say anything about it for all eternity.

never tell anyone details on yr dating situtation lest u want to be judged like a two-bit toothless ho on jerry springer. as far as everyone is concerned, ur a eunuch or a nun. or both.

also, never admit that ur bisexual or gay (not that either of us are, btw; no homo).

never post about how much your parents make or whut they do for a living unless you're poor then u get extra face points

never publicly engage yr friend in a cyber-quarrel, esp if ur of the same race, ethnicity, or (foreign) nationality, and esp if u know each other in person. if u find fault in something he or she has said, then u must engage him/her via private means, as in PM, email, or aim. publicly, it should appear as if u form one united front.

additionally, when a friend insults someone who is not yr friend, u are required to post a "hahaha" at the MINIMUM.

if ur a girl, never post yr height and weight. either no one will believe u or everyone will just think ur fat. in both cases, ppl will just think ur starved for attention.

if someone posts something u don't like, and ur already talking to someone or a bunch of others, feel free to ignore that person. he/she will be left to refresh the thread looking for response, in great frustration.

also, if u happen to be in a planning thread, and someone who isn't involved makes a comment, ignore him/her. bonus face points if u pm ppl and tell them to ignore that person, as well.

actual friends and e-friends should be kept ENTIRELY separate, unless u enjoy worlds colliding or being chided for having internet friends. if u happen to be caught w/ yr e-friends by yr actual friends, u will explain that u met those ppl at compusa or best buy. moreover, u will refer to yr non-internet friends as yr REAL friends, as opposed to e-friends, who don't really exist as far as the outside non-e-world is concerned.

never live w/ someone from the internet. this is a HUGE no-no, and there are very few exceptions. if u do, u must procure:

a) a credit check (at yr expense); b) proof of income or assets; and c) a security deposit.

if u are subletting or sub-leasing long-term, make sure to get ALL the money up front, including that for all the bills. otherwise, draw up a contract and have it notarized. standards forms for most states are available on the web. keep yr door locked at all times. ideally, yr internet roomie should have no idea what yr room looks like, AT ALL.

don't ever talk about how broke u are or how u can't afford to pay ur bill(s) bc u too dumb to manage money and don't ask ppl to paypal u money!!!

if ur asian, and u see a post about the american release of an asian movie, make sure to mention that u already saw it at least 2 years ago, and that youve owned the dvd for at least 6 months. it doesn't matter when the actual movie was produced. nine times out of ten, if ur a proper asian, you'll have already seen all the right asian movies to see, anyway. if anyone asks where to cop the dvd, make sure to send them on a wild goose chase or say that u forgot.

don't dj don't be a dj don't even post the word on the internet

matter fact, if ur a dj (don't answer this, btw; that's a no-no) just throw away yr decks right now.

also, if ur planning an event, don't BEG ppl to go relentlessly. they'll think it's really lame. be all "yeah, come if u want. ppl are gonna be there regardless..." and if ppl ask who's gonna be there, say "errybody." if they ask what it's like, tell them "you're just gonna have to see."

after having an e-gathering, don't be the one to post 239712794764 pictures of the party in a thread bc the ppl who were there will hate u for posting it and the ppl who weren't there will hate u for posting it. also, the official computer party historian is secretly thought of as the biggest nerd for taking tons of pics as if he/she were trying to preserve such precious memories. if ur at the party, try not to be in any pictures.

and if u dating someone from the internet don't tell ur irl friends how/where u guys met and don't let ppl online know period. mb after u guys break up then mb it's ok to mention it. no threads should be made specifically about the relationship tho, or it'll blow up in ur face man and hall of shame4u.

also, never talk about yr actual friends on the internet (and vice-versa, for good measure). if u do talk about them, do not mention names. and never, ever, ever-ever-ever post pictures of u partying w/ them. the only case where this rule may be broken is if ur posting pics of yrself from at least 5 yrs ago and u looked radically different.

don't make ur thread title start w/a line from an aim chat and then have a huge 50ft chunk of an aimchat u had w/ur lover/mom/sister/tectetce. for the body. at least edit it or break it up to the funny parts so ppl don't have to drudge thru the crap.

if someone is constantly trying to argue w/ u, do not try and avoid it, deflect it, or play it off. never cop pleas and try to resolve things too early (if at all); that is for the weak-minded and passive, both online and off.

if ur a girl, u must never make yr femininity yr main appeal to other users on the internet. it is taken as a lack of intelligence, wit, and/or cleverness when u act like a cyber-ho in order to gain attention. at best, ppl will run a train on u when u visit their city. if u are in fact very dimwitted and cannot help it, do not do this during the daytime anytime between the hours of 9-5 or so, unless u feel u have a penchant for being ridiculed.

additionally, female users will never reply to sex threads. if they do, it should only be to make a joke or to lampoon those who already have by calling them "fucking sluts" or "trampycakes". even if u are mentioned in such a thread, and a discussion brews in which ppl conjecture about yr sexual practices, u will still avoid replying. ideally, u should never talk about yr sexual history, unless sharing an anecdote, and even then, little if any detail info should be shared. ideally, u would never have clicked on a sex [poll/questionnaire] thread, anyway.

users will also be required to refer to messageboard/chatting/listserving/waleva-waleva as "the game." "the messageboard game" "the game done changed; lotta new jacks tryna do the come up quick style." this also gives rise to a new messageboard e-parlance:

deleting oneself: leaving the game new to the game: new user, or just haplessly stupid old user true to the game: seasoned veteran and so on.

also, try not to show yr emotions (if any) unless ur completely conscious of it. remember james bond in a view to a kill when he bet on max zorin's horse? he knew that horse would win the race since it was drugged. what did he do? he didn't cheer for it or even scream when it won. no one even knew he had bet on it until he told some butler type, "jeeves, will u cash this in for me?" then he just walked away w/ a smirk on his face.

You know who I'm talking about. That man was Our Lord, the son of God.

In many aspects, Killy is similar to him. I'm not saying that young Killy here is the son of God. I'm thinking more of a nephew.

But just like Our Lord, Killy is being crucified this Good Friday.

Amen.

OK then.

-- killy (fagsztra...) (webmail), April 13th, 2006 9:40 PM. (baby lenin pin) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

mega kettle blackness

seriously, fighting with people is how we recruit

PS - MORBZ HAVE U RECRUITED ANYONE FOR THE GAYS LATELY??!?!?!

IGNORE FEATURE CANNOT SHOW UP SOON ENOUGH. THX IN ADVANCE.

HEARTS,
TITS.JPG

(Prov 14:7 KJV) "Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge."

There are too many of us already, Jon!

This bears repeating

Fifty-year-old boys, Julie said, that's another thing.
Are you blaming me? asked the Dead Father.
They exist, said Julie, grinning in their business suits and knickers. And Keds.
What is the cause? asked the Dead Father.
Does he really want to hear the answer? asked Thomas. No. I don't think so. If I were he, I would not want to hear the answer.
They are boys because they do not want to be old farts, said Julie. The old fart is not cherished in this society.

http://myspace-262.vo.llnwd.net/00648/26/23/648833262_l.jpg

Mickey:
- going to jail :(((((
- is going to be in a movie! yay!!!!!

Jon:
- has a home address! yay!
- has a phone number! yay!
- knows at least two people! yay!

I WIN

I'm piqued.

Way to give up the high ground.

I READ PHONE BOOK TOO.

funny that even with 7500+ visitors a week you don't bother to update your blog, yet you still pine for acceptance from Dom + Esteban.

(This is the new ILX meme)

I thought that was the only reason anyone posted to ILX? :confused:

From : Mickey Borchardt
Sent : Friday, April 14, 2006 6:57 PM
To : fagsztrap@hotmail.com
Subject : ILX

Killy,

Could you give me Jon's phone number? This is "Mickey" from ILX. I'd
like to talk to him person-to-person. Thanks.

Mickey

:(

-- nervous.gif (...), April 14th, 2006 7:16 PM. (eman) (later)

Thank you. The rest of you I am studiously ignoring.

- Personal threads. If a thread is started discussing a registered user or their actions, that user has the right to ask for it to be deleted or locked. The thread does not have to be an attack on the user. This does not apply to threads users start themselves and later regret.

(x-post)

Does that mean someone can revive an old unrelated thread and fill it with personal insults towards someone else, and nothing can be done about it?

(You can keep this one for free, Mods)

we have to take "nude" Tuomas like a man!