Why don't Jews live a little?

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When I go shopping, I don't take a Holy Cross with me!! Neither do I dress in long white cloaks like Jesus whenever I go bowling!! So why do Jews feel it necessary to do their daily business wearing a shower cap, or even a pork pie hat, on their head?? OK OK, maybe in days of yore this would have looked perfectly normal, it would have even looked normal between 1980 and 1983, and a brief period in 1991, when these pork pie hats were in fashion, but today don't they think it looks a trifle ridiculous??? They also throw in the beard and thick glasses to further increase the hilariousness?!?! If they want to make it that obvious why don't they bring back the "gold star" as well??? Or maybe travel to work on a pogo stick which says "I'M A JEW" on every bounce!!

I have nothing against Judaism as a religion, especially the salted parsley which I think is a very clever idea, but for pity's sake, if you aren't a devout evangelist DON'T DRESS LIKE ONE!!!!!!

― Anonymous, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 08:51 (seventeen years ago)

Or maybe travel to work on a pogo stick which says "I'M A JEW" on every bounce!!

best thraed ever already.

― :|, Saturday, 9 October 2004 21:58 (twenty years ago)

Uh, I'll forgive your ignorance, but most Jews don't wear that stuff. In fact, you might not even be able to tell a Jew from anyone else.

― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 9 October 2004 22:20 (twenty years ago)

Except for the horns of course.

― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 9 October 2004 22:27 (twenty years ago)

im going to assume this premise is a bit tongue-in-cheek, so i'll play along darkly: at many points throughout their over 5500 year existence, jews literally did live only a little.

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Saturday, 9 October 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago)

A frighteningly large proportion of them do. No disrepect to their beliefs, I would have no qualms at all if they're gear actually LOOKED GOOD. But instead of looking like religious followers, they look like YES fans. Something has to be done....

― who that girl think she is?, Saturday, 9 October 2004 22:44 (twenty years ago)

Oh no, I typed "they're" instead of "their". Jewish magic has cursed me grammatically!!!!

― who that girl think she is?, Saturday, 9 October 2004 22:48 (twenty years ago)

Being 'controversial' is over-rated.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Saturday, 9 October 2004 22:52 (twenty years ago)

At least the Amish have those buggy races, churn butter, and hide out in the fields and throw tomatoes at those passing heathen cars.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 9 October 2004 22:55 (twenty years ago)

"A frighteningly large proportion of them do."

No, really, it's not as many as you think -- those are just the ones that are most visible and obviously Jews. You probably don't realize all the other Jews around you. I'm a Jew, so I should know.

However, I have often said this myself, it doesn't say anywhere in the Torah/Bible that you have to wear a goddamn BLACK OVERCOAT AND FUR HAT IN SUMMER!!!!

― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:03 (twenty years ago)

On a somewhat less critical note, can anyone readily name some sites that explain the different Jewish sects? I'm kinda lost when it comes to that stuff.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:07 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it's just that most Jewish people "are" Yes fans. Had you considered that?

― JTS, Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:13 (twenty years ago)

"No disrespect to their beliefs"

― William Crump (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:14 (twenty years ago)

POST PICTURES OF GENTILES HERE

― Gigantic [something] (nordicskilla), Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:25 (twenty years ago)

"On a somewhat less critical note, can anyone readily name some sites that explain the different Jewish sects? I'm kinda lost when it comes to that stuff."

The problem with this is it gets almost as complicated as the different sects of Christianity, not to mention all the variations within them. But the basic breakdown goes like this:

Reform: Most liberal interpretation of Judaism, least traditional, more philosophical, fewer rituals involved. Was founded relatively recently (19th century?) as a reaction to what was seen as outdated and overly literal Judasim.

Orthodox: Most strict adherence to Jewish law as stated in the Torah, follows the letter, not just the spirit (sometimes, I'd say, only the letter and not the spirit).

Orthodox does not necessarily mean wearing the black coats and hats --these people are usually called Chassidic (or Hassidic), and are the most orthodox of the orthodox.

Conservative: Meets the two somewhere in the middle. Was created after Reform as a kind of reaction to the (over)reaction.

There are other variants you'll hear about, more progressive ones, etc. but those are the three most common branches.

― Hurting (Hurting), Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:28 (twenty years ago)

All the Jews I know are super rad and full of life. You've probably never been to a 50 Shekel party, you poor naif.

― LC, Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:32 (twenty years ago)

ORTHODOX JEWS ARE FUCKING RAD.

Why should fashion sense overule one's religious devotion?

Unless fashion is your religion. And that's pretty shallow.

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:35 (twenty years ago)

I don't understand why people think I am disrespecting the beliefs/practises of Judaism. Motzah is perfect for dieting, and those candelabras make for extremely good chintz.

This thread is about the overbearing, frightening clothing that they seem to regard as normal. I have absolutely nothing against a sari, or a turban, but Jewish clothes do nothing complimentary for the wearer at all.

Another niggle. Why do Jews always ring the doorbell to their house, even when they have the key to get in? And why is the doorbell always above the door?

― who that girl think she is?, Saturday, 9 October 2004 23:53 (twenty years ago)

xpost: Thanks, Hurting, for the breakdown. I can so some homework from here.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:00 (twenty years ago)

CLOTHES

― LC, Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:01 (twenty years ago)

to quote lenny bruce, that's were they hide their pot.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:02 (twenty years ago)

"to quote lenny bruce, that's were they hide their pot."

However, in the Jewish world, they don't fill reefers with marijuana, they use salted parsley..... :)

― who that girl think she is?, Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:08 (twenty years ago)

oh no, in the greater jewish world, there is plenty of marijuana smoking, I assure you.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:18 (twenty years ago)

Heck, I bought from a Jew for years.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:23 (twenty years ago)

come this thread isn't locked already? besides a ridiculously inflammatory thread title, it all just boils down to someone complaining that hasidim & orthodox jews aren't fashionable enough?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

― Helios Creed (orion), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:25 (twenty years ago)

Helios Creed, what you don't seem to understand is, even if a person is fashionable or unfashionable, there ARE LIMITS!!!!

― who that girl think she is?, Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:29 (twenty years ago)

i don't think there are enough hasidic jews around to warrant this kind of reaction. unless you live in williamsburg or another one of their tight knit communities, they are pretty much sight unseen.

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:30 (twenty years ago)

Eat a dick. This is tasteless, cruel and insensitive.

xpost

― Helios Creed (orion), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:30 (twenty years ago)

hey, anything is open to discussion. including how incredibly bigoted the person who started this thread is. i participated in this thread asssuming it was a attempted joke. instead it's just another ultra-pathetic and unfunny cry for attention, i.e., "look how provacative i can be! aren't i interesting with my wacky, offbeat observations?" nope, you're not.

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:33 (twenty years ago)

i wish i didn't come across as such a PC dipshit in my last post.

i guess i'm just offended that, if this is an attempt at humor, the person couldn't have come up with something with a little more substance than "they look silly and intimidating."

― Helios Creed (orion), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:35 (twenty years ago)

http://www.50shekel.com/images/shekelstylepics/shekelstyle15.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:40 (twenty years ago)

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:41 (twenty years ago)

No, I am no bigoted AT ALL!! I had an adulterous lesbian affair with a Jewish person from the years 1993 to 1997, would I have done that if I was bigoted??

And where exactly did I mention being provacative, with wacky/offbeat observations?? I must have completely forgotten where I wrote this. You must quote exactly where I used those exact terms.....

― who that girl think she is?, Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:42 (twenty years ago)

who that:
boy, you really didn't just painfully prove my point about the pathetic attention seeking behaviour with that last post. and i certainly do not need to quote excactly when you used those exact terms as i'm not writing a dissertation, i'm just posting my thoughts on what i feel is an increasingly disquieting thread.

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Sunday, 10 October 2004 00:54 (twenty years ago)

I don't catch the bigoted thing at all here.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:00 (twenty years ago)

i don't know if i'd say bigoted; it's definitely a prejudice, though. how would you feel if people judged your character based on what you wore? similarly, how would you feel if /your/ religion were being attacked? (not trying to insinuate that i'm hasdic here; i'm obviously not. but cruel is still cruel.)

― Helios Creed (orion), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:02 (twenty years ago)

"Holy Cross"

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:06 (twenty years ago)

all I said is her bigotry is open to discussion, hence the last two posts.

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:06 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, I see quite a few Hasidic ladies shopping at some fancy fashionable stores at work.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:08 (twenty years ago)

And some of the suits are really quite cute.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:09 (twenty years ago)

As a Jew who travels to work on a pogo stick every day, I think this thread is hilarious.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:09 (twenty years ago)

I WISH I could afford all that Hasidic shit. Right now I'm wearing crappy gym shorts and an old Black Flag t-shirt. Just like Moses did.

― Gigantic [something] (nordicskilla), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:10 (twenty years ago)

I thought Moses would have sported Godsmack.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:13 (twenty years ago)

Just like Moses did.

when he lived in the shtetl, of course

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:19 (twenty years ago)

OK, I can see how my post may have offended people. I'm sorry if I ever appeared prejudiced or bigoted, it was merely a concern that the aestetics of Jewish clothing were hideously outdated, not to mention uncomfortable... (I had a beard once during puberty, not only was it itchy and irritating, I also got a lot of cruel looks from people when it was 3 inches long).

This is not anything to do with fashion, believe me!! Please take me off your "must brutually murder with Cher's 'Believe' playing in the background" lists!!! (The ultimate torture)

― who that girl think she is?, Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Best Jewish Indie Rock Band: Guided By Moses.

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:29 (twenty years ago)

The content of your observations may not have been intentionally bigoted, but the title of the thread reads very badly (defamatory).

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago)

and stupid.

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago)

I think the association with the group Yes is enough for Jewish people to change their clothing forever!!!

Now I can't get "Put it Where You Want It" out of my head. darn you!

― Kappel, Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:32 (twenty years ago)

Jews obviously know how to live better than he/she does. He/she doesn't like "Believe," for one thing.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:33 (twenty years ago)

That's the problem with "shock humour". It's the kind of thing that's only funny when you first read it. Then it becomes offensive in retrospect.

― JTS, Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:36 (twenty years ago)

"He/she doesn't like "Believe," for one thing. "

But that's human nature?!?

― JTS, Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:37 (twenty years ago)

OK, I'll come clean. I was trying to be satirical/humorous with this thread, none of the views are really my own, I was creating an ignorant persona which I thought would be comical. Obviously not. All I can do is apologize heartily to anyone who found this thread offensive and allow it to die.....

― who that girl think she is?, Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:40 (twenty years ago)

the best place for threads like this is the noize dude board, where mostly everything is assumed to be tongue in cheek.

― Helios Creed (orion), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:52 (twenty years ago)

is 'who that girl think she is' really...william shatner?

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Sunday, 10 October 2004 01:55 (twenty years ago)

the best place for threads like this is the noize dude board, where mostly everything is assumed to be tongue in cheek.Does that include the nigger jokes?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 10 October 2004 05:54 (twenty years ago)

someone please lock this thread.

― Germany's Fun-Loving Beer (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 October 2004 06:32 (twenty years ago)

I only lurk and I want this thread locked.

― Camtron (Cameron), Sunday, 10 October 2004 06:42 (twenty years ago)

( What are the WORST, most OFFENSIVE, STUPIDEST and HORRIBLE ethnic jokes you'd care to share with teh NOIZE BORED? )

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 10 October 2004 06:58 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

"I had an adulterous lesbian affair with a Jewish person from the years 1993 to 1997, would I have done that if I was bigoted??"

"I had a beard once during puberty, not only was it itchy and irritating, I also got a lot of cruel looks from people when it was 3 inches long"

lol, sockpuppetry is hard work

― gershy, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 08:43 (seventeen years ago)

this does totally belong on noize tho

― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 08:51 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.harrypottertorah.com/HPT-cover.JPG

― gershy, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 08:54 (seventeen years ago)

wau makes u think

― get bent, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 13:46 (seventeen years ago)

<3 this thread

― Laurel, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 14:38 (seventeen years ago)

Threadstarter totally OTM except for the "devout evangelists" thing which is just confusing.

― Laurel, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 14:38 (seventeen years ago)

http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper652/stills/s409b1lo.jpg

(no idea what that is about, was googling for the hasidics in movie Pi.)

― bnw, Wednesday, 27 February 2008 15:51 (seventeen years ago)

http://acuterecords.com/BAR_MITZVAH.mp3

― dan selzer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 00:40 (seventeen years ago)

I have a note to myself somewhere to read that, bnw. Other good picks have been the movies Trembling Before G-d and A Life Apart: Hasidism in America.

― Laurel, Thursday, 28 February 2008 13:09 (seventeen years ago)

is hella winston from california? and why is he rocking a garbage bag?

― sanskrit, Thursday, 28 February 2008 18:49 (seventeen years ago)

A better question would be: why is he crossing the Brooklyn Bridge? It's at least two miles of bad road from there to South Williamsburg, where people who dress like that live.

― Laurel, Thursday, 28 February 2008 19:01 (seventeen years ago)

I just got this popup http://imgserv.sponsorads.de/images/rotator/genea/lay3.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 28 February 2008 19:18 (seventeen years ago)

lol jon the time i got that popup is when a friend sent me to a german scat porn site

― max, Thursday, 28 February 2008 19:35 (seventeen years ago)

lol jon = lil jon's white cousin

― jaxon, Thursday, 28 February 2008 19:38 (seventeen years ago)

that girl is :

1) RELATED TO HITLER
2) SAW 2 GIRLS 1 CUP

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 28 February 2008 19:47 (seventeen years ago)

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