Who is the horniest ILXer?

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Not necessarily sexiest, but who seems to be stricken by the randy blood disorder most often? Who's always gagging for it? Who's always getting it?

Velveteen Bingo has to come pretty high, I'd guess.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Sunday, 15 August 2004 08:45 (twenty years ago)

You didn't read the "My girlfriend asked me to buy her some underwear for her birthday... " thread, did you?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Sunday, 15 August 2004 09:00 (twenty years ago)

Read it? I AM it, practically. But last week was an abberation! I'm not normally that bad. Am I?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Sunday, 15 August 2004 09:21 (twenty years ago)

aldo in "failed to notice new name by recognising email address" shockah!

I'm not normally as bad as that, but the heat makes me go all funny. I blame the summer.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Sunday, 15 August 2004 09:52 (twenty years ago)

erm.... the amazing randy obv??

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 15 August 2004 10:02 (twenty years ago)

I'd say Ken C, if not only for my unnatural obsession with him.

― chrisco (chrisco), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:11 (twenty years ago)

Given my active past (talked about too much on here already) and the fact that I've not had sex with anyone who isn't me in a year and a half, I think I'm a contender.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:39 (twenty years ago)

I've not sex with anyone who isn't me in nearly three years.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:52 (twenty years ago)

I went about 2 years without until March of this year but to be honest I shouldn't have bothered then anyway.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 15 August 2004 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Martin, you and Nick South4ll need to have a sex-off.

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:03 (twenty years ago)

If we're talking about how long it's been, well, I'm beyond horny. I think I'm spikey by now. God, how annoying.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Je4nne, if memory serves....you're a complete hottie. What's the problem?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:06 (twenty years ago)

other people?

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:07 (twenty years ago)

Bingo

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:07 (twenty years ago)

Shit, I just got a compliment and didn't even realize it. Bless yr heart, Alex.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Aw.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:09 (twenty years ago)

No charge.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:11 (twenty years ago)

yay!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:32 (twenty years ago)

"complete hottie"!

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago)

I notice that no one told me, Michael or Ronan that we are totally hawtt and what's the explanation for us not having sex?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:37 (twenty years ago)

you are obviously doing something wrong

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:38 (twenty years ago)

like carrying brollies

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:40 (twenty years ago)

ha, except surely looking camp would help me to attract men, no? Also, you will be laughed at for calling it a 'brolly' in Britain. Here we call them 'bumbershoots'.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:52 (twenty years ago)

I think my main problem is alcohol and drugs are always easier than attempting to chat up girls. I'm sure it's common enough.

To be honest I don't care about not having sex regularly though, not one night stands or whatever anyway.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 15 August 2004 20:55 (twenty years ago)

My Sexy Game of RISK
WOMEN OF ILX: If some random sketchy dude handed you a note that said "HI UR CUET PLZ CALL ME"...

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Sunday, 15 August 2004 21:07 (twenty years ago)

It's been far too long for me, which is either because I'm hideous or I don't have the time to talk to anyone outside of work. Or because whenever I go to bars or parties I grow shy about hitting on women.

I just live vicariously through whomever my roommate is sexing. I'll hear the noises coming from the living room and instead of bursting in on them I'll lean against the door, glass to my ear for better acoustics, and cheer him on: "Yeah, give it to her, champ!"

sigh

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 15 August 2004 22:10 (twenty years ago)

So you WANTED the couch thing to happen, is what you're now saying.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 15 August 2004 22:12 (twenty years ago)

You need to change your name to LA Gear, you'll get more play!

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Sunday, 15 August 2004 22:13 (twenty years ago)

Dude, he said it THEN.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 15 August 2004 22:13 (twenty years ago)

NedRaggett: So now you look up Olympic pron, inspired by Princess
Redbulldozers: hahahaha
Redbulldozers: i should write to the horniest ilxor thread now too
Redbulldozers: haha
Redbulldozers: i'm all hot and bothered now
NedRaggett: Oh dear!
Redbulldozers: haha
NedRaggett: Well at least you're honest
NedRaggett: ABOUT YOUR FILTH
Redbulldozers: hornest
Redbulldozers: hahhahaha

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 15 August 2004 22:14 (twenty years ago)

"LA Gear"!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:24 (twenty years ago)

oh no!

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:27 (twenty years ago)

The other day Ian J0hnson called me a "horndog." I think that was in response to something about all dudes looking the same.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:32 (twenty years ago)

Judging from the What Do You Look Like threads, ILX has a shocking amount of attarctive people posting here. I mean that sincerely.

teach me how to post a picture from a CD and i'll post one of me one of these days

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:33 (twenty years ago)

You can't. You have to put it somewhere on the web.

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:34 (twenty years ago)

roger I have that pic of you (sorta) and your dog, but no way to post it.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:34 (twenty years ago)

Tell you what -- mail me a pic, I'll put it on my server, and then the world can see the glory that is roger.

― Harold Media (kenan), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:35 (twenty years ago)

that was the most transparent request for wank material I've ever seen

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:35 (twenty years ago)

(Still haven't "done it". Ever. Yes, 24 years, seven months, twenty days, nine hours, 47 minutes without "it". No, am actually sorta bragging about it.)

(Would like to note that I'm far away from being in the running for the titular "honor". In fact, would do just fine without ever doing "it" ever in my life. Yes, am Queen of TMI.)

(Would also like to note that I was just checking to see if Martin's name had been mentioned anywhere in the thread.)

(Am disappointed he had to mention himself.)

(Don't ever change, Martin.)

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:38 (twenty years ago)

Gear!, was that to me or him?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:39 (twenty years ago)

I mean, 'cause if it's to me, I already got the picture, er...

anyway it's a CUTE dog, nothing more.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:41 (twenty years ago)

that was to Harold but now that you mention it...

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:44 (twenty years ago)

well it was to Harold but now that you mention it...

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:46 (twenty years ago)

no way, Sadie Mae Glutz is the queen of the scene. Totally wank-worthy.

There's aphoto of me here: http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/berriesaswell/detail?.dir=/889f&.dnm=1d84.jpg

i'm in the middle. feel free to post it.

I wish I could post those great photos of me, Brock, Emma and Ian getting wasted in a rained out tent. I was supposed to send them to Emma but never got around to it

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:46 (twenty years ago)

whoa that's the dude who got put in the headlock!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:47 (twenty years ago)

yep. one of my best friends, the inimitable dave se!del.

Jarv!s of Meneguar / WWVV on the left

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:49 (twenty years ago)

dang I am in none of those No Fun pics but seeing Tony Rettman in some sure is nice.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:52 (twenty years ago)

not that I'm horny for him, he's just a friend, yadda yadda.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 03:55 (twenty years ago)

I could win a fucking gold medal.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:04 (twenty years ago)

Interpret that as you wish.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:04 (twenty years ago)

There's a podium of winners I'd like to see.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:15 (twenty years ago)

Pity about the bronze, but her dismount wasn't quite good enough.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:16 (twenty years ago)

what anthem gets played though? something with tons of wah-wah?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:16 (twenty years ago)

I masturbate all the time.

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:55 (twenty years ago)

yeah but you're like 20 so that's expected. If you masturbate all the time at 50, then you have the right to be called horny.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:56 (twenty years ago)

you also have the right to be called a loser then, too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 22:59 (twenty years ago)

I must be horny because I was watching eps of "My So-Called Life" last night and I decided that Brian Krakow is totally boneable.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:02 (twenty years ago)

"totally boneable" just doesn't sound right, coming from a woman.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:03 (twenty years ago)

Brian Krakow is no Jordan Catalano.

omg claire danes. ♥

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:04 (twenty years ago)

krakow = poor man's art garfunkel.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:13 (twenty years ago)

You guys are ruining my fantasy of deflowering Brian Krakow. Go away!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:14 (twenty years ago)

Mandee, come over and watch Bad Timing with me sometime.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:17 (twenty years ago)

i was going to write about how i haven't had sex in two years but daddino totally stole my thunder.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:17 (twenty years ago)

plus krakow is named after the POPE's hometown or something, so you've gotta think of *that* while you're boning him

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:19 (twenty years ago)

http://www.pedrokim.com/archives/images/loser1.jpg

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:19 (twenty years ago)

Are the people who haven't had sex for the longest period of time necessarily HORNIER, though?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:20 (twenty years ago)

good point--i think getting some gets ya going, actually

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:21 (twenty years ago)

actually, scratch Bad Timing. That'd probably go over as well as the date I had in high school when we went to see Mike Leigh's Naked...

Plot Summary for
Naked (1993)

Johnny flees Manchester for London, to avoid a beating from the family of a girl he has raped. There he finds an old girlfriend, and spends some time homeless, spending much of his time ranting at strangers, and meeting characters in plights very much like his own.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:21 (twenty years ago)

Plot Summary for
Bad Timing (1980)

The setting is Vienna. A young American woman is brought to a hospital after overdosing on pills, apparently in a suicide attempt. A police detective suspects foul play on the part of her lover, an American psychology professor (ART GARFUNKEL!!!!!). As doctors try to save her life, the detective interrogates the professor, and through flashbacks we see the events leading up to the woman's overdose; her stormy and intensely sexual relationship with the professor, her heavy drinking and numerous affairs, and her estrangement from her Czech husband. A darkly erotic study of several rather unsympathetic characters

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:22 (twenty years ago)

haha in high school i took a girl to see 'colors'

'one of ours, two of yours'

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:24 (twenty years ago)

And then he has sex with her corpse. Or did I misread the film?

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:24 (twenty years ago)

i think that was 'the river's edge'

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:24 (twenty years ago)

Let's watch this, Stence.

http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/71/16/61m.jpg

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:25 (twenty years ago)

is that Shannon Tweed? If so, I'm down.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:26 (twenty years ago)

you're right mandee. i could have had sex by now if i'd been willing to lower my standards.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:27 (twenty years ago)

good point--i think getting some gets ya going, actually

indeed it does. especially if it's rather good.

― purple patch (electricsound), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:28 (twenty years ago)

okay, so it's Nicolette Sheridan - I'm still game.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 16 August 2004 23:29 (twenty years ago)

DEE YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY TRY TEH FUCKING IT'S SWEET

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:11 (twenty years ago)

Um. Mark, are you high?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:12 (twenty years ago)

i've been having enormous amounts of sex lately (trying to breed), and its making me triple teh horny.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:13 (twenty years ago)

NO, I'M AT WORK, A BIT BORED AND CONTEMPLATING A COFFEE. YOU?

(Mands, your recent posts have been the bomb, except when you beat yourself up. You raddest of the rad, dog)

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:14 (twenty years ago)

you should try __________, it's sweet.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:15 (twenty years ago)

no, it's sour.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:16 (twenty years ago)

Post-coïtum, animal triste

Sweet and sour?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:20 (twenty years ago)

HAVE A COFFEE, MARK! WHY NOT?

(And thanks. I'm just trynna be self-deprecatingly cute, yanno?)

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:20 (twenty years ago)

ewwww, gross, Michael.

Mandee, for some reason friendster's acting weird.

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 14:21 (twenty years ago)

This thread reminds how ok cupid totally dissed me all the time.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

http://www.redcoat.net/pics/readline135.jpg

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:46 (twenty years ago)

ewwww, gross, Michael.

hstencil, do you even know this Ovid quote?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:48 (twenty years ago)

nope!

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:49 (twenty years ago)

Mentioning names even more ancient than Ovid
-- Satan, I think (or was it Devil? I forget), must have been the horniest ILXer ever to post on ILE.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 17 August 2004 15:52 (twenty years ago)

three weeks pass...

i need some physical intimacy. stat.

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 9 September 2004 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Rub up against the Laz-E-Boy, Mitch.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Thursday, 9 September 2004 18:41 (twenty years ago)

me too.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 9 September 2004 18:48 (twenty years ago)

the laz-e-boy isn't returning my calls.

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 9 September 2004 19:00 (twenty years ago)

what about those of us who are in long-term relationships where the sex has dwindled to
a foggy memorial of what was once a torrential downpour of unquenchable lust and
ferocious all consuming passion (and or fun?)?

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 9 September 2004 19:06 (twenty years ago)

well what about you then

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 9 September 2004 19:07 (twenty years ago)

well it's not fun being us, is what i mean, i guess.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 9 September 2004 19:11 (twenty years ago)

i'd trade.

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 9 September 2004 19:15 (twenty years ago)

you don't find that mild frequency... mild as in lukewarm. mild as in completely
unspontaneous... mild as in completely quantifiable... actually makes you want for sex
more? (and better sex?)

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 9 September 2004 19:24 (twenty years ago)

it's just that right now i'll take planned lukewarm passionless grey blah over endless nothing.

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 9 September 2004 19:29 (twenty years ago)

I don't even have a sex drive right now. So yeah, routine relationship sex is suddenly looking a lot better with hindsight. :-(

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Friday, 10 September 2004 07:47 (twenty years ago)

I feel likes such a bitch for even posting to this thread, like three days is too much for me to take, wtf is that?

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 September 2004 11:27 (twenty years ago)

(Is there a product out there called the Porto-Pussy? If not, I may have a CUNNING NEW MARKETING SCHEME...)

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Friday, 10 September 2004 11:38 (twenty years ago)

4 and a half weeks since seeing muh honey. Am I really emo if I say the nookie isn't what I'm most looking forward to when she gets back?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 10 September 2004 11:47 (twenty years ago)

not emo, just honest

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 September 2004 11:53 (twenty years ago)

LIARS!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:03 (twenty years ago)

sigh. four days.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:06 (twenty years ago)

18 hours!

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:07 (twenty years ago)

1) Actually, I was wrong. I had a wonderful heavy-petting session in 2002 with a blogger who immediately afterwards refused to acknowledge my existence. I still pine for him, alas.

2) I got lucky last week. Oh, yeah! That's all I'm saying.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:11 (twenty years ago)

dude you gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a big cartoon jug of cran juice. that's all I'M saying.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:15 (twenty years ago)

THAT IS NOT CRANBERRY JUICE, YOU PERV.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:17 (twenty years ago)

HE IS FUCKING TEH JUG!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:37 (twenty years ago)

I am rather ridiculously infected with the horn lately, albeit still only about a billionth as bone prone as I am when I've got someone in my life with which to make with the fucking.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Shit, I had a question too:

Do most people get more horny the longer they've gone without the fucking? Or, like me, do most people get exponentially more randy when they're in a solid we-be-fuckin' relationship, when they get in a continuous cycle of of fucking?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:00 (twenty years ago)

ha ha "exponentially more randy"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:01 (twenty years ago)

HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE HI DERE

― EXPONENTIALLY MORE RANDY (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:02 (twenty years ago)

I am not sure what the answer to that is nickalicious. I think it's a different randiness, one is like epicurean the other is more starving African.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:02 (twenty years ago)

IT'S NOT A JUG! IT'S A PITCHER!

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:05 (twenty years ago)

VengaPerry -- yes, there are quite a few porto pussies, known on the market as "pocket pussy." And there's also a pocket "mouth."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:12 (twenty years ago)

i think it is acceptable (and also funnier) to refer to it as a jug, given it's form. but whatever man you're the one that sexed it.

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:12 (twenty years ago)

ha ha that is actually a totally perfect comparison Ronan

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:13 (twenty years ago)

i think it is acceptable (and also funnier) to refer to it as a jug, given it's form. but whatever man you're the one that sexed it.

HE'S TEH PITCHER I'M TEH CATCHER.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:16 (twenty years ago)

ALL YOUR FIRST BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Fucking Kool-Aid man would suck! I mean, for one, the ICE CUBES yo.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:25 (twenty years ago)

but aren't they supposed to heighten sensitivity of erogenous zones?

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Spike Lee and Rosie Perez to thread (or not!).

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:27 (twenty years ago)

nickalicious, I think after a certain amount time abstaining (by choice or more likely not) desire isn't as strong, I mean I feel worse when it's only been a week or two since I've had sex rather than six months or something.

Also desire to do it with someone you know wants to do it with you >>>>>>> desire just to have sex with no one in particular in mind. In other words, what you said about being much more randy when there's a certain someone in your life.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:28 (twenty years ago)

so so so OTM

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:30 (twenty years ago)

1 year ago I'd have said i'd qualify for the dubious distinction of this thread title .. and now it's just the opposite...

Is there anyone else out there who is totally sexed out ? Or remember a period of their life when they were sexed out? I mean, I just don't feel any NEED anymore, it's gotten so old. If you've done the Insatiable Ho thing long enuff, and never gotten intimately invvolved for a loooong time, after a while it truly does become boh-ring. And if your #s-o-shame are as high as mine....geez... even the "in-public," thing comes across as being trite. Just finding idiots online seems to work better, being more efficient, for when the need does arise...

Is anyone else in this position at all? I'm 24, I've had a lot more quantity than quality, and now I just kinda wanna settle down and get *mentally/emotionally* stimulated first - or maybe that's all I want for a while - and skip all that heavy breathing juicy stuff. It's like going through the motions...

Or maybe it just has to do with Death of Close Relative few months ago, and since then my mojo just hasn't been the same."Spiritual" (roll-yer-eyes-now, uknowwho)-fucked-up experienced do _not_ help, especially when it comes to grounding one's physicality. But the key difference is: I don't even miss it. What once seemed like exhilarating nocturnal adventures filled with just the right tinge of dancer and excitement and lust....now all of that, pursuing or even _wanting_ to pursue all that seems....ionno childish in a way. The quandary is, I've never really been the I-wanna-relationship for the sake of just having one type; it never was a matter of emo. security to me, as I like being independent/alone. Especially living alone. I've been 100% self-reliant for so long, especially emotionally; anything different would feel thoroughly alien to me.

What also certainly didn't help matters is working for a lil' while in Teh Pr0n Store, as I was telling Casuistry over IM the other nite. It probably really helped to kill my already receding mojo; it made me wholly IMMUNE to the ephemeral charms of so much contrived "erotica," - and for good, I hope. Everything contributed: the propspect of helping old men find their favorite incest videos, the mundane tediousness of alphabetizing adult titles for hours on end, the sheer ridiculousness of encoutering releases titled GAG ON IT which featured bathtub toys on the cover, etc. I am almost thankful I had the schedule conflict and left/got pseudo-axed, but overall it was paradoxically both a sleazy and cleansing experience - like now, I really AM ready to get to "know someone," as the artificial stimulation of porn has (for the time being) a minimal arousing influence on me. Since it reminds me of "work," goddamnit.

I know i'm rambling here, I don't know what i'm trying to say. I think I might need to leap in some serious relationship with someone I'm not truly attracted to, feign emotional intimacy, and commit infidelity with someone local and hott who might help re-discover and reignite my lust drive...in the process fucking up as many lives as possible and creating a karmic cesspool out of which committing myself to some ashram would be the only recourse. Or maybe I could just skip to indefinite celibacy already; eating once a day seems to help the starvation of all bodily appetites, and I'm pretty much halfway there already. Nothing really excites anymore, it's so weird...maybe I need to develop some kinky new fetish? Has anyone here been into car-sex a lot? Oh I forgot, you're all environmentally concerned and don't own autos...

Just to give the most immediate example: it's 8:02 AM. In about four hours, I'm supposed to give one of my irregulars a call, and I can totally hook it up. He's got a gigantic penis, is into black magic, and will want to cum all over me ETC ETC. But I just don't feel motivated. Or interested. I'd rather just skip all that, and call him over simply to talk about channeling and shit while drinking tea or something, except I don't have tea I only have orange juice. Maybe that's metaphorical for something.

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:07 (twenty years ago)

*experiences
**danger
***family

yeah yeah

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:13 (twenty years ago)

I think I'm reaching new depths of TMI on ILX; it'kk just be a matter of dayz though until the cable company prolly cuts off my DSL due to overdue bills, and then you won't have to put with this threadkilling shit anymore. I will still miss the Noise Dude board though.

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:19 (twenty years ago)

http://mypage.bluewin.ch/MarcoKohler/images/4Sale/4SaleApollonia6.jpg

Come on kiss the gun. Guaranteed for fun.

― Apollonia 6, Friday, 10 September 2004 14:22 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.angelfire.com/rnb/jleroue/musicpages/minneapolis/vanity/vanity6.jpg

Ooh baby baby, you drive me wild. Come on baby drive me wild.

― Vanity 6, Friday, 10 September 2004 14:23 (twenty years ago)

Vic, we'll drag you back in (to FAPs at least).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:23 (twenty years ago)

http://www.basslinespin.com/familylp.jpg

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(not so loud, baby)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ah-SSSSSH Ah-SHHH!

― The Family, Friday, 10 September 2004 14:25 (twenty years ago)

I WONDER WHO COULD BE POSTING ALL THESE PRINCE-RELATED IMAGES.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:26 (twenty years ago)

ONLY SOMEONE INCREDIBLY HORNY

― Grebo Guru, Friday, 10 September 2004 14:27 (twenty years ago)

I've been randy as hell lately which is unfortunate cos my someone I know who wants to do it with me is having libido problems due to medication :(

AARRGH FRUSTRATION!!!!

As someone who's been completely without sex for years and years at a time it's just as bad in terms of randiness to be with someone who doesn't feel like it more than once a fortnight than to not get any at all, IMO.

I'm really hoping I get lucky this weekend ;)

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:56 (twenty years ago)

Wrong. It's worse.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 10 September 2004 15:16 (twenty years ago)

I am randiest when I'm getting it, fo sho. When S gets back I'm honestly going to be all nervous and uncertain of what to do. And then I'll smell her and hold her and kiss those lips and oooooh.....

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 10 September 2004 15:22 (twenty years ago)

I am asexual.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 September 2004 15:45 (twenty years ago)

DYNAM O

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:02 (twenty years ago)

Don't tell me that pitcher/catcher thing went over everybody's head!

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:46 (twenty years ago)

I got it, my friend.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:46 (twenty years ago)

I am ugly and a fiend.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:53 (twenty years ago)

:-(

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 17:14 (twenty years ago)

The picture above is of Dickon, right?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 10 September 2004 17:59 (twenty years ago)

I am ugly and a fiend.
-- Towelette Pettatucci (mandeewrigh...), September 10th, 2004.

You're not ugly, Mandee!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 10 September 2004 18:08 (twenty years ago)

mandee i know someone who has a crush on you right now. probably more than one does.... and yeah with a little $ i can inform you of the details. email me if you want

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 10 September 2004 18:12 (twenty years ago)

Mands, you're an absolute stunner!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 10 September 2004 22:20 (twenty years ago)

(I got that joke too, Daddino daddy-o)

VengaPerry -- yes, there are quite a few porto pussies, known on the market as "pocket pussy." And there's also a pocket "mouth."

Yes, but is there one CALLED "The Porto-Pussy"????

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Friday, 10 September 2004 22:49 (twenty years ago)

(I got that joke too, Daddino daddy-o)

I expect nothing less. From you OR Ned.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 10 September 2004 22:56 (twenty years ago)

Why is mandy always praised around here? Is she magnificent? For I'm told she is.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 10 September 2004 22:58 (twenty years ago)

I expect nothing less. From you OR Ned.

Hurrah!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 23:14 (twenty years ago)

I should set the record straight. When I say self-deprecating stuff, I usually don't mean it, so no one needs to really tell me that I'm wrong and I'm lovely and stuff and yeah.. because I just be foolin' !

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Friday, 10 September 2004 23:16 (twenty years ago)

http://www.plateshack.com/florida/fl-save-the-manatee.jpg

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 10 September 2004 23:19 (twenty years ago)

And yet, people not only reassure you: they are clearly smitten. So, perforce, do you have some kind of magnificence? I once knew a Mandy (not a Mandee, admittedly) who had a friend call Mandy. They formed a band: The Magnificent Mandys.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 10 September 2004 23:23 (twenty years ago)

I cast incantations. Kissing spells. By the light of the full moon!

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Friday, 10 September 2004 23:27 (twenty years ago)

I KNEW IT!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 10 September 2004 23:29 (twenty years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/traditions_uk/witch_and_moon.gif

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 10 September 2004 23:30 (twenty years ago)

Brilliant, beautiful and fun people aren't so thick on the ground* that we fail to notice it - that's why Mandee gets praised so much.

* except here, where obviously everyone is all of those things, of course.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 11 September 2004 09:22 (twenty years ago)

is the proto-pussy like one evolutionary stop before the pussy?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Saturday, 11 September 2004 11:27 (twenty years ago)

One evolutionary step after, my friend.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Saturday, 11 September 2004 11:32 (twenty years ago)

I cast incantations. Kissing spells. By the light of the full moon!
-- Towelette Pettatucci (mandeewrigh...), September 11th, 2004.

yes but is it HAUNTED moon?

p.s. you sound like mine type. do you like the arctic tundra?

― A certain Canadian Werewolf True Pitch Black Metal musician, Saturday, 11 September 2004 11:54 (twenty years ago)

"The Proto-Pussy" = prehistoric PUSSY WITH TUSKS

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Saturday, 11 September 2004 12:12 (twenty years ago)

you nasty

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 11 September 2004 13:37 (twenty years ago)

DEE YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY TRY TEH FUCKING IT'S SWEET

I just caught this.

Knowing my luck with members of the opposite sex, though, this will probably never, ever, ever happen. I mean, when I can't even really rely on having males as true blue regular friends....

Sister Deanna -- sounds okay?

*takes out world's smallest violin, starts playing it*

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 11 September 2004 19:31 (twenty years ago)

Friends? Honey, you don't even need to know their names to do the naughty!

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 11 September 2004 19:33 (twenty years ago)

(24 years, eight months, 13 days, five hours, 58 minutes.)

(Approximately.)

(And counting.)

(Yay! Or something.)

Friends? Honey, you don't even need to know their names to do the naughty!

*cringes at that notion*

*adjusts phantom habit*

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 11 September 2004 19:34 (twenty years ago)

you don't even need a member (pun intended) of the opposite sex!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 11 September 2004 19:34 (twenty years ago)

No thanks. I'm not actually whinging on about this, really. Am much more wistful for the relationshippy stuff that comes before this, at least from my own POV, hence the "friends" comment from before. (I am such a stereotypical female in this arena.)

*plays violin one more time, then packs it away*

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 11 September 2004 19:48 (twenty years ago)

DEE YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY TRY TEH FUCKING IT'S SWEET

try fucking more

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 11 September 2004 19:51 (twenty years ago)

So Dee, if you were courting a nice chap, you'd been on a few dates (say three for the sake of argument), would he get a shag at the end of the third one (assuming everything was comfortable, straightforward etc.)?

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 11 September 2004 20:18 (twenty years ago)

(also, the thought of having such an anonymous encounter as I facetiously posited makes me cringe just as much as it makes you cringe)

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 11 September 2004 20:19 (twenty years ago)

it doesn't make me cringe.

― m. (mitchlnw), Saturday, 11 September 2004 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Um, I don't know. Is three dates considered quite a lot these days?

(Thanks for cringing, too. I thought that was just a sign of prudishness on my part. And I am pretty darn prudish, at least when it comes to my OWN behavior.)

Eh, it's okay, though. Not like I'd, um, want to "make it" with someone from around here. TOMBOT was 100% OTM when he mentioned how much of a Frat Boy Paradise SATX is. It's one of those things that I really dislike about my hometown.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 12 September 2004 06:26 (twenty years ago)

FWIW three seems a little early to me too, esp if it's not someone you knew before the first. I think a lot of people do consider that standard though.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Sunday, 12 September 2004 14:42 (twenty years ago)

It is some sort of standard expectation with a lot of people. I've never had sex on a third date/time out with someone - first, second, tenth, whatever, but never the third. There shouldn't be standard rules for relationships. People should do things when they are ready to, whatever the thing is.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 12 September 2004 16:22 (twenty years ago)

nah, dating is stiff and unnatural. just jump 'em right away and if they're worth dating you'll both have some homemade spaghetti for 1pm breakfast.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 12 September 2004 16:50 (twenty years ago)

YEAH!

http://img.coxnewsweb.com/B/06/25/36/image_536256.jpg

― stiff 'n' natural (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:15 (twenty years ago)

just jump 'em right away and if they're worth dating you'll both have some homemade spaghetti for 1pm breakfast.

Is this some horrendous sex slang?

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:17 (twenty years ago)

Right now, I'm thinking anal sex with someone who has worms.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:18 (twenty years ago)

OK, I've stopped thinking of that now.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:20 (twenty years ago)

No. I mean actual spaghetti.

p.s. anal worms? wtf dude - get help.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago)

I now imagine Li'l Jon chortling loudly at this exchange. It's like he's looking down on it with glee.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:23 (twenty years ago)

I think Lil Jon wholly approves of Kim's logic (god knows I do). Lil Jon would also be down for some pasta (god knows I would).

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:26 (twenty years ago)

It's a FINE piece of logic! I am not besmirching that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:28 (twenty years ago)

thanks to his sunglasses I can't tell if he's looking at the camera or marvelling at the glory of his pimp cup.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:29 (twenty years ago)

fwiw - spaghetti = whatever is in the cupboards at the time. If it's gonna be love, spending time going out to the stores will just seem like a waste.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 12 September 2004 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Kim's got a point there. The first time one girlfriend spent the night, all I had available for "breakfast" the next day was grapes and carrot cake. Better that than having to get dressed.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:26 (twenty years ago)

I'd prefer to sleep with a girl who demanded a proper breakfast.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:31 (twenty years ago)

ronan's got the right idea.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:32 (twenty years ago)

(side question - I'm watching this docco on Marc Bolan and it made me wonder what they actually use when they film coke-snorting scenes? I guess it could actually be coke, but otherwise, any ideas what harmeless white powder might be able to stand in?)

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:33 (twenty years ago)

urea?

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:34 (twenty years ago)

There's a white powder factory overlooking my office. It produces titanium dioxide, which is entirely harmless and edible (used as filler in a lot of pills), and would be ideal to use as fake cocaine.

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:37 (twenty years ago)

doesn't it have to be soluble as well? Like I have a clue about the properties of titanium dioxi... HANG ON A SECOND, titanium is a rare metal! What are we doing EATING it??

(they keep showing the road just across from my house where Marc Bolan died. It's weird)

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:38 (twenty years ago)

I think titanium dioxide is actually extracted from sand, but I could be wrong.

(Here's an enormous photo of the factory - my office is a hundred yards or so off the right-hand side)

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:47 (twenty years ago)

(and to get back to the thread topic: yes, I'm feeling very horny at the moment)

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 12 September 2004 19:53 (twenty years ago)

in movies they always have someone say, "this coke was cut with...baby powder." and then the heavy tosses the bag against the wall.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:01 (twenty years ago)

off the right-hand side

omg I'm horny now.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:04 (twenty years ago)

it's not even Monday morning (well okay technically it is but it's still Sunday night to me) and ILX is reminding me of work. Less talk of chemical powders, please.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:07 (twenty years ago)

hstencil, do you know a man named don rodriguez?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:08 (twenty years ago)

Monday afternoon here. Theoretically I could have had 17 shags/faps by now.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:09 (twenty years ago)

I do not know a Don Rodriguez from the Bronx.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:09 (twenty years ago)

well i think you do know don rodriguez.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:09 (twenty years ago)

haha. Anyway, if I was writing about cocaine, maybe then it would be fun and/or interesting.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:10 (twenty years ago)

what are you writing about?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:11 (twenty years ago)

chemical powders.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:13 (twenty years ago)

you know, we're not getting anywhere.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:14 (twenty years ago)

Urea prices continue to face upward pricing pressure in the face of high natural gas costs and feedstock ammonia costs. Several US producers have idled or permanently closed capacity and there is speculation that producers may keep idled capacity down longer than normal following upcoming scheduled maintenance because of high gas costs.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:15 (twenty years ago)

see, boring, right?

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:15 (twenty years ago)

i love it when you talk dirty

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 13 September 2004 03:17 (twenty years ago)

Less chemical powders, more smutty talking, please.

The horn came back. I kinda wish it would go away again, but then again, it is reaching that 3 month mark since I last had sex, which is always the hardest hump to get over.

― Danger Whore, over and out (kate), Monday, 13 September 2004 07:06 (twenty years ago)

Was the word "hump" a subconscious choice there?

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 13 September 2004 10:39 (twenty years ago)

No, not in the slightest.

Come on, I'm binging on Libertines slash and any minute now I'm going to start humping table legs. Nothing subconscious about any smut or double entendres at all!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 13 September 2004 10:41 (twenty years ago)

hi kate!

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:23 (twenty years ago)

::EXPLODES!!!::

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:24 (twenty years ago)

I didn't get my hair cut last week like I was planning.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:26 (twenty years ago)

That's because you know that you're not allowed to get it cut until you've sent me ~~masturbation material~~ a photo of it!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:29 (twenty years ago)

ah well I guess I'm not getting it cut then. My camera's still busted.

not feeling all that flirty, unfortunately. I'm feeling sick and sniffly. Mondays suck.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:33 (twenty years ago)

kate, are you going to see 'shaggy' (god, how appropriate here) again? could he be the solution?

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:35 (twenty years ago)

Ach, that's a shame, because I'm feeling overcaffeinated and randy. Maybe I can dress up in my kinky nurse's outfit and apply hot compresses to your forehead and administer hot toddies and the like... but only if you don't cut yer hair. ;-)

x-post - not till next week, Colette, and the more I think about it, the more I think, probably not. :-(

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:37 (twenty years ago)

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