this is the horny commiseration thread

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Surely there are hornier people then me in the world and on this board, but something about not getting enough sleep just makes me think about sex sex sex all day long. It's like my body hasn't met some essential need, and yet knows that it can't sleep, gets confused and turns to sex.

I want to fuck every one of you. Some more than others, of course, but I really wouldn't be too picky today.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:41 (twenty years ago)

i gawked at the electrolesbians today...

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:44 (twenty years ago)

I am going to Death Disco tonight. I am sure I will end the night in a drunken puddle trying to lick the dirty rock boys. Sigh.

I wish I could have my hormonal impulses removed...

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago)

Dude Kenan you have a girlfriend. Get the fuck outta here.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:53 (twenty years ago)

KATE I AM DIRTY ROCK BOY

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:55 (twenty years ago)

What, I can't be horny? If you cut me, do I not bleed? If you tease me, do I not get an erection?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:56 (twenty years ago)

yes you can be horny but i sure as hell ain't gonna commiserate with you.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:57 (twenty years ago)

*worriedly searches the archive for joke posts that used Kenan as the feeder*

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:57 (twenty years ago)

well not without a reach-around at least

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Jon, you are not a dirty rock boy, you are dirty NOIZE boy, and besides, I would not lick you if you were the last dirty rock boy on earth as I don't want to get ringworm. ;-)

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Though, then again, considering how many drugs you take, I might get really high off licking you. Perhaps. I will consider it.

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 14:59 (twenty years ago)

There's no feeder, Dan. It's just me.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:01 (twenty years ago)

wait, does this have to do with my towel??????

what if i make SOUNDART?!?!?!

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:02 (twenty years ago)

I hate soundart. I like DIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT:

http://www.trustlust.co.uk/albums/userpics/thelibertines/stockholm/9360.jpg

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:05 (twenty years ago)

he doesn't look dirty to me

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:06 (twenty years ago)

That's the stuff!

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:07 (twenty years ago)

he shaved today for sure!

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:07 (twenty years ago)

I don't get this "horny" thing.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:07 (twenty years ago)

Yes, but he is certainly SWEATY.

I'm really not sure what is going on with his stomach here:

http://www.trustlust.co.uk/albums/userpics/thelibertines/stockholm/9385.jpg

But it makes me horny anyway!

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:08 (twenty years ago)

kate, you're worse than those girls who run around east london with "libertine" tattooed on their upper arms!

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:09 (twenty years ago)

should i remove my stomach hair?!?!

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:09 (twenty years ago)

The only thing I have tattooed on my arm is a giant PAISLEY.

Come on, Lauren. It's not as if I like them or anything. I just hate them so much I want to sleep with them. Kind of like the way JW feels about me. ;-)

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:11 (twenty years ago)

John, your search for the key to Kate's heart will, I fear, be quite futile.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:11 (twenty years ago)

i kid, kate, i kid.

(those girls do exist, though!)

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:12 (twenty years ago)

::sniff::

I'm not that bad. Honestly.

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:14 (twenty years ago)

I think the Libertines are playing here next week.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:14 (twenty years ago)

HI TREAT xpost 2 Lo-P!

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:14 (twenty years ago)

hi deer.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:15 (twenty years ago)

They are utter rubbish. They sound like The Clash falling down a flight of stairs while drunk. Don't bother listening to them. But if you can figure out a way to LOOK AT THEM without actually having to hear their music, please let me know how coz I'd like to try!

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:15 (twenty years ago)

― Fuck You, Yamantaka Eye (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Do you think sealing my ears up with candle wax will do the job?

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Maybe candle wax, if combined with those special noise reduction headphones that block out the sound of the outside world...

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

Kate, I think you already *did* find a way to look at them without hearing them, no?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:21 (twenty years ago)

What, masturbation?

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:23 (twenty years ago)

That, too.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Those pics are already masturbalicious, is what I'm saying.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:25 (twenty years ago)

http://www.dinosaur.org/celdinos/images/cdlwchal01.jpg

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:26 (twenty years ago)

http://www.globalherbalsupplies.com/earcandles/images/candlespic.jpg

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:26 (twenty years ago)

http://www.amethystlake.co.nz/images/ear%20candle%20demo.JPG

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:27 (twenty years ago)

http://www.relfe.com/Images/ear-candle-1-200w.gif

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:27 (twenty years ago)

http://www.earcandlesbylouise.co.nz/images/howto.jpg

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:27 (twenty years ago)

What ARE those people doing? Is that some kinky kind of sex thing, or some weird kind of drug thing?

Either of which would be appropriate, but still, I wanna know!

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:28 (twenty years ago)

it's a natural method for getting wax build-up out of your ears.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:29 (twenty years ago)

by sticking a big stick of wax in your ears? that's what I call counterintuitive.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:35 (twenty years ago)

It did take my mind off of my penis for a moment, though, so thanks for that.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:36 (twenty years ago)

It feels REALLY weird, too.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:36 (twenty years ago)

Not your penis, but the ear candle.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:38 (twenty years ago)

Let's say both.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:38 (twenty years ago)

No, no, my doctor has expressly forbidden me to have any more ear fun, it gave me perpetual ear infections throughout my 20s.

Still, I'm going to hold on to the idea that it's some kind of kinky pervy drug thing, and incorporate it into my ~~libertines wank fantasies~~ work.

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:39 (twenty years ago)

Hey Kate, I'm getting horny thinking about YOU.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:39 (twenty years ago)

So sleep deprivation makes one really horny, huh? I never knew.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:39 (twenty years ago)

ear fun? You MUST elaborate.

um... I guess I've had it in the ear before...

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:40 (twenty years ago)

weed make professor challenger horny

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:40 (twenty years ago)

candles and penises both flout the never put anything bigger than your elbow in your ear rule.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:40 (twenty years ago)

So sleep deprivation makes one really horny, huh? I never knew.

I think that may just be me. I haven't compared notes on that one before.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:41 (twenty years ago)

No, it does.

― {Sand in the [vaseline} on the lens] (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:41 (twenty years ago)

No, no, no, we just used to call it "aural sex" it didn't actually involve sex. Just those weird fizzing eardrops and cotton buds. When you're on, ha-HEM substances, it feels *really* nice.

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:41 (twenty years ago)

I'm getting horny thinking about andrew and kate and kate daydreaming about the libertines.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:41 (twenty years ago)

No, it does.

It really, really does. (2:44am here)

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:42 (twenty years ago)

I'm getting horny thinking about fizzing eardrops. I win!

― {Sand in the [vaseline} on the lens] (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:42 (twenty years ago)

Well fuckit I'll throw Mandee into the mix here... Hrmmm..

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:42 (twenty years ago)

It does, as I recall from staying up all night writing papers in college.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:42 (twenty years ago)

mmmm "ear drops"

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:43 (twenty years ago)

i will take a picture of my package through my fancy trousers and post it here

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:43 (twenty years ago)

It does, as I recall from staying up all night writing papers in college.

No, that's procrastination that was making you horny. When I had school assignments to be done some serious masturbation was undertaken, for purely anti-academic purposes.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:43 (twenty years ago)

praise jah, i am not alone. Does it work for women, though?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:43 (twenty years ago)

My girlfriend attests that it does.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

And would be shocked and horrified to read this thread, I'm sure.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

Everyone is horny now? My work is done! Off to Notting Hell and Death Disco with me now!

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

be careful out there. don't lick any john williamses, and come home safe.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:46 (twenty years ago)

No, that's procrastination that was making you horny. When I had school assignments to be done some serious masturbation was undertaken, for purely anti-academic purposes.

Oh, that's right, I remember now.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:46 (twenty years ago)

I'll get you next time, Danger Whore! Next time!!

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:46 (twenty years ago)

Yeah I used to put these drops in my ear to make the wax dissolve.. the fizzing and popping was so excruciatingly delightful.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:46 (twenty years ago)

That's only somewhat arousing, Mandee. You've got to give me more details to go with here. Although less about the earwax would be nice.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Thread killed, murdered, and maimed.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:53 (twenty years ago)

stabbed, raped, dismembered, quicklimed...

― {Sand in the [vaseline} on the lens] (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:54 (twenty years ago)

...this is starting to read like The 120 Days Of ILX now...

― Danger Whore (kate), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Okay, well, I then poured the peroxide all over my naked chest. And it was like being born again. And then I put on a tutu!!

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 15:58 (twenty years ago)

We want to fuck you too, sug.

― maybe luna, Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:00 (twenty years ago)

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:06 (twenty years ago)

Mandee, the only reason to put on a tutu is to take it off again. Sex is too serious to be done in a tutu.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Taking sex too seriously makes it awkward when you giggle when something tickles. I am all about roffle/teh fuck crossover.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:11 (twenty years ago)

Me too - laughing is part of what makes teh sexXxing fun.

― maybe luna, Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:13 (twenty years ago)

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/books/images/b-grv-1120.jpg

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/books/images/b-grn-1009.jpg

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/books/images/b-cls-1053.jpg

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/books/images/b-dtp-1094.jpg

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/books/images/b-grv-1128.jpg

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/books/images/b-cls-1078.jpg

Life's too damn short.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago)

I'd rather have a bit of pain than a bit of a laugh.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:15 (twenty years ago)

Today, anyway. But I'm feeling very serious.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:15 (twenty years ago)

Well, luckily there's room for both.

― maybe luna, Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Have I mentioned that I need to get laid?

― maybe luna, Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:18 (twenty years ago)

You are, aren't you!

You are SERIOUSLY horny!

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:20 (twenty years ago)

wanking at work - is it good/bad/right/easy/nice/etc?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago)

Hangovers make me horny, or, what I suspect is happening, is that hangovers reduce all my *other* drives, leaving horniness the only thing I actually feel at all.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:39 (twenty years ago)

I'm horny to the point of being not-horny.

― (Rock U Like A Hurricane) Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:40 (twenty years ago)

I'll let you know when I'm not horny.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:41 (twenty years ago)

like markelby i get really horny when hungover. thats usually when i do my best fuckin.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I know what you mean. When I'm hungover, I can go twice in a row with no break, and other amazing stunts usually associated with 18-yr-olds.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:49 (twenty years ago)

i get all porno star when im hungover. maybe put a hand on my ass while im pumpin or throw a leg up on the coffee table or something.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Are women like this, too? Because when I'm hungover, sexing would most likely make me puke.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:10 (twenty years ago)

gwwwrrraaaa fuck this shit. grad school is bullshit. i spend 8-10 hours a day in the company of 6,000 18-20yr old girls. the mental effort at taxonomy alone is enough to wear me out.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:12 (twenty years ago)

g-ff, I'm right with you. I like to think of them as grains of fuckable sand.

― {Sand in the [vaseline} on the lens] (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:13 (twenty years ago)

I constantly amaze(exasperate) my gf with major horniness when I'm tired, hungover, or sick. I think Markelby is on to something up there.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:14 (twenty years ago)

grains of fuckable sand?

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:19 (twenty years ago)

How endearing.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:21 (twenty years ago)

I'm nineteen and I masturbate seven times a day

― \(^o^)/ (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago)

brb

― \(^o^)/ (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago)

I would, but then I'd just be left with sleepy. this is much more fun.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 17:24 (twenty years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0802132189.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

I love to tease myself. So voluptuous! So infinitely squeezable!

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 18:24 (twenty years ago)

It's both sexy, *and* makes me want a nap.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 18:25 (twenty years ago)

http://wizardishungry.com/lol/backtoschool/lame-itunes.gif

I AM HORNY FOR GIRLS WITH ITUNES

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:01 (twenty years ago)

Quick, someone call Jennie up in 312.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:04 (twenty years ago)

...and tell her she has shitty tastes.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:06 (twenty years ago)

all the people who post room numbers on itunes = friendster slutz

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:06 (twenty years ago)

I agree with the sleep deprivation hypothesis.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:10 (twenty years ago)

friendster slutz

Unless that's her area code. I'm up in 312, as well.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:12 (twenty years ago)

But then she wouldn't be on Jon's network.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:13 (twenty years ago)

MAYBE I AM VPNED IN

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 19:25 (twenty years ago)

"Dear Mrs Thatcher, pardon the language, but I've got the fucking horn"

http://www.phespirit.info/derekandclive/ad_nauseam_13.htm

― JimD (JimD), Wednesday, 29 September 2004 23:52 (twenty years ago)

there are surprisingly few typos in this thread, considering you are all posting with just your right hands

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Thursday, 30 September 2004 00:50 (twenty years ago)

Tantra, baby.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 30 September 2004 01:05 (twenty years ago)

Nah, I'm posting with just the left hand. I only use the left hand for wanking when I want to spice things up a bit. Meaning, of course, that I'm INCREDIBLY bored.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Thursday, 30 September 2004 03:07 (twenty years ago)

I'm ambisextrous.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 30 September 2004 16:02 (twenty years ago)

(actually I'm not, but I thought it was a good word. Right-handed left-handers reprazent!)

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 30 September 2004 16:03 (twenty years ago)

It's getting worse. I have been visited by the Ghosts Of Crushes Past twice in one week.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 07:44 (twenty years ago)

this shd be the thread where jon impinges on the privacy rights of the people in his dorm and post screen-grabs of their itunes library.

― cºzen (Cozen), Friday, 1 October 2004 07:53 (twenty years ago)

Taking sides: Room numbers vs. Phone numbers

(My head is so messed up, why am I so neurotic? argh!)

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 08:01 (twenty years ago)

i think you need some hobbies, kate.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:15 (twenty years ago)

p.s. masturbation /= hobby

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:15 (twenty years ago)

I have several hobbies! I just can't engage in any of them while I'm at work. Or masturbate, either, for that matter.

It's just a bit weird to be exchanging phone numbers with a former crush who's all, like, famous now. I really can't get my head around it.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:17 (twenty years ago)

Besides, that was all *so* this morning. I've moved on now. Whatever. I think I'm coming down with the lurgy or something and this, at least, is killing my sex drive. Hurrah. (At least until I see those libertines slash photos again.)

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:19 (twenty years ago)

http://www.andrewkendall.com/images/photographs/bandshoots/peteandwolfman_220404/main/pete_wolf_35.jpg

Aaahhh, much better.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:24 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i've ever encountered ("encountered") anyone with more of a one-track mind

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:26 (twenty years ago)

What track would that be? Freemasons? Lost Rivers of London? Spacerock? Time Team?

Just coz you don't read any other threads I happen to be on... actually, one might say it's you with the one track mind, since I only ever see *you* on the bloody masturbation threads.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:33 (twenty years ago)

I'm not horny anymore as I have given up sex forever and ever until the end of time and then after.

― the girl you used to know (luna.c), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:02 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that picture above had the same effect on me.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:22 (twenty years ago)

I think it had the opposite effect on me. Does that mean I'm turning into Kate?

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 1 October 2004 18:32 (twenty years ago)

huge cocks slapping your tender mouth

http://i.myspace.com/40/11/411104/5246074_l.jpg

― \(^o^)/ (Adrian Langston), Friday, 1 October 2004 18:35 (twenty years ago)

Am I to assume from this thread that the chestless are all the rage now?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Sunday, 3 October 2004 05:47 (twenty years ago)

Hasn't that always been the case for teh gayz?

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 3 October 2004 07:32 (twenty years ago)

kate annoys the fcuk out of me. sorry, kate

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 3 October 2004 07:33 (twenty years ago)

Lately I've been so horny I found myself fantasizing about a freshman girl who did some "intimate dancing" with me, even though she's hyperactive and too thin for my tastes anyway. I'd never thought I'd sunk to the level of a "senior student drooling for innocent young freshmen", but apparently I have.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 3 October 2004 15:14 (twenty years ago)

I just had a sex dream about billy idol!

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Sunday, 3 October 2004 15:20 (twenty years ago)

masonic boom, i saw the seemingly oh so dreamy carl barat from the libertines in concert last week.

*submits the expression of the many smiling girls in the audience when he took his shirt off to thread*

― splooge (thesplooge), Sunday, 3 October 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

Mandee wins.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Sunday, 3 October 2004 16:04 (twenty years ago)

In the midnight hour, she cried "mo', mo', mo'."

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 3 October 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago)

BWAHAHAHA!!!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 3 October 2004 20:27 (twenty years ago)

amateurist and jw in finding common ground shocka

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 00:35 (twenty years ago)

Neurotic young men in "scared of women" shockah!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:15 (twenty years ago)

no, i'm not scare of women, you just annoy the fcuk out of me with your incessant obsessive posts about various english scenesters

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:40 (twenty years ago)

-d

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:40 (twenty years ago)

i really didn't mean to write that last night, but i did, and now i'm making it worse. oh well. you seem nice enough.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:41 (twenty years ago)

oh god ams is it at all possible for you to have an opinion that isn't at once nasty and limp-wristed?

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:42 (twenty years ago)

You know, maybe it annoys the fuck out of me to find obsessive posting complaining about how annoying you find me. You know, like it's not obvious from the title of the thread what it's going to be about.

Should I just whinge about how neurotic and emotionally incapable I am instead? No, I'm sorry, I find that sort of thing boring and tedious and I've wasted too much of my life on it. I'd rather talk about something that I find much more entertaining. And yes, I find circle jerks by hipster boys immensely entertaining.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:44 (twenty years ago)

esoj: i've actually expressed two discrete opinions on this thread:

1. kate seems nice enough
2. her posts about lusting after english scenesters annoy me

no contradiction there!

i'll go back to not reading that which is likely to annoy me!

so i suspect we won't run into each other for another few years!

bye!

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:49 (twenty years ago)

sorry for any frustration i caused kate!

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:50 (twenty years ago)

Oh dear, what happened to the horny commiseration, this thread has turned ugly all of a sudden.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:51 (twenty years ago)

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:52 (twenty years ago)

seriously, i think this is the first kate post i've read in months upon months, and i got flashbacks to the time when i wasn't as choosy and ended up opening threads in which every other word was "HSA."

this was a lapse, and it shan't happen again. continue commiserating tuomas et al.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:54 (twenty years ago)

It is called 'the horny commiseration thread', what exactly did you expect to find?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 4 October 2004 08:56 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, this is an image that has blasted all thoughts of horniness out of my head:

So Not Safe For Work, Natch!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 11:26 (twenty years ago)

Meh, I'm at work but would love to know what that picture is. I'll never remember if I wait to go home. Text is safe, so a description would be great if anyone's bored.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:31 (twenty years ago)

Jesus that may be the absolutely most unnecessary boredom-induced post I will ever make. Sorry, everyone.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:32 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I'll cover my back and retract the statement about it being the zenith of frivolity.

I'm digging a hole. I'll be quiet.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:33 (twenty years ago)

HI DERE

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Described in worksafe terms...

Musicians whose genitalia you never wanted to see on their websites, Part Deux.

(otherwise refered to as "Does taking drugs really turn your teabags dark?")

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:34 (twenty years ago)

Thanks Kate. I'll be sure not to click on it out of work, either ;)

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:35 (twenty years ago)

Is it Momus?

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Busted!

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:43 (twenty years ago)

Both wrong. Much, much worse.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:48 (twenty years ago)

TAD?

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:49 (twenty years ago)

Click on the picture already?

Oh wait, I forgot he has no head. It's too gross, even for me.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:49 (twenty years ago)

It's just a penis, man, chill

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:52 (twenty years ago)

But it's an icky penis!

It's not icky because it's a penis, it's icky because of whose penis it is!

Plus, manky pube dreads, man.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:53 (twenty years ago)

Michael Gira?

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 4 October 2004 13:57 (twenty years ago)

Can you *really* not guess whose penis it is, or are you taking the piss?

I get accused of having a one-track mind, but obviously not one-track enough... (ewww, trackmarks, eewwww, what a turnoff, UGH!!! my toenails hurt)

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:02 (twenty years ago)

Jason Spaceman?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:11 (twenty years ago)

I'm not looking at the image....

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:14 (twenty years ago)

::bashes head against desk::

Surely I would be *happy* about photos of naked Jason Spaceman?

I am growing tired of this guessing game. If you are going to post naked pictures of yourself to your blog, you should at least have the decency to leave your head in. Honestly.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:14 (twenty years ago)

You know, if I were a meaner person....

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:19 (twenty years ago)

kate, there is a name in the URL.. is it that dude's penis?

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:23 (twenty years ago)

No, it's not that dude's penis.

My boss has gone home, so I had all my colleagues over to look at it, and they couldn't guess either. Sigh!

(Though I was warned that looking at too much interweb porn would turn my bollocks black. Good thing I don't have any!!!)

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:24 (twenty years ago)

Well then I haven't a clue. Just tell us!

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:26 (twenty years ago)

For fucks sake, there's a picture of him with clothes ON upthread!!! :-)

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:32 (twenty years ago)

Those dudes on the bed making out?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:38 (twenty years ago)

Are we supposed to know who they are?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:38 (twenty years ago)

Yeah I don't really know who any of the dudes pictured on this thread are.

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:39 (twenty years ago)

Dude, I didn't turn it into the guessing game! I just said he was icky! I mean, he's not so bad when he's clothed and making out with guys, but nekkid? Harsh my buzz, dude!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:40 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't say who it was because I was EMBARRASSED by who it was, not coz it was a big secret or something. Sigh.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:41 (twenty years ago)

or is that we don't care/know about shitty music?

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:43 (twenty years ago)

Kate, "Busted" was not in fact referring to the band, though I did burst out laughing after hitting send.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:44 (twenty years ago)

OK, I confess, it's Jon Williams naked. You caught me out.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:46 (twenty years ago)

THIS IS NOT COMMISERATION OF THE HORN. THIS THREAD NOW GIVES ME FLACCID BONERLESSNESS.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:50 (twenty years ago)

my dick is bigger.

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:51 (twenty years ago)

http://sphax666.free.fr/Ta%EFwan/Ang%20Lee/tigredragon/Zhang%20Ziyi%20petit.jpg
Fear not Nickalicious and other Asiaphile mens of ILX, I will help you rediscover your horny, while I slay my master's assassin with my ninja sword of kickassocity.

― Zhang Ziyi (has no moral objections whatsoever to my objectifying her thusly, ob, Monday, 4 October 2004 14:53 (twenty years ago)

OMG HI DERE KEN C

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:54 (twenty years ago)

I was actually quite pleased that that picture took away my clit-on! I should print it out and carry it with me for whenever I need guaranteed horn removal! HORN REMOVAL MAAA-CHIIIIIINE!!!!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:56 (twenty years ago)

DEEZ NUTS

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:57 (twenty years ago)

do girls think its charming when you're high and overenthused when you talk to them?

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:57 (twenty years ago)

No. Oh God, no.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 4 October 2004 14:59 (twenty years ago)

yea, exactly

OOPS

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:01 (twenty years ago)

Is it Pete Docherty out of the Libertines porn?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:03 (twenty years ago)

(said purely to increase google hits obv)

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:03 (twenty years ago)

"clit-on." I love it.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:05 (twenty years ago)

Things wrong with that picture:

1) dude needs a trim. I've seen goats with better-kept pubes.
2) what's with the scratching and scarring? Is that where the Roman soldier pierced his side?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:06 (twenty years ago)

If you want to increase teh googles, it helps if you spell it right, Barry!

Scratching and scarring = ask any teenage girl what that's about.

My clit-on was totally buzz-harshed until I found this picture of a dirty boy clearly BEGGING me to give him the Too Posh To Wash Treatment:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/batgirl_2/carlinbath.jpg

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:09 (twenty years ago)

And for th boys:

http://www.importforum.com/public_pics/Alexies_Thorpe_11.jpg

Man, that one never gets old.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:11 (twenty years ago)

Her butt is not as sticky-outy as this butt:

ihttp://melaniemay.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/libertines15.jpg

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:12 (twenty years ago)

But but but I even checked with my friendly Libertines fan in the office to make sure I WAS spelling it right!!

Kate, do you actually get turned on by DIRT and GERMS or is it just the image thing?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:14 (twenty years ago)

porno-butt

The guy in the bathtub could be 15 years old, for all you can tell. But I an getting a clear picture of Kate's tastes -- skinny, hairless, sweaty, and much too young for her.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:15 (twenty years ago)

hi kate

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Wellllll... I used to think it was impossible to be too dirty, until my days with the Dirt Queen in Hoxton. There's a line, obviously, but, you know, Joe used to go about a month between his ceremonial hairwashings, and that never bothered me.

And the whole appeal of dirty boys is the idea that you can put them in a bathtub and wash them!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Is that Ornaldo Bloomps is the front row in Kate's picture?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

i have mud in my hair from biking a lot....

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

I saw the picture was called 'carlinbath' and my first thought was not of him from the Libertines. Now I feel all wrong.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:20 (twenty years ago)

EEWWW!!! EWWWWW!!! EWWWWW, DC, YOU JUST HARSHBUZZED MY CLIT-ON!!!

Quick, post more dirt to recover:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/batgirl_2/511.jpg

Man, that might actually just be too filthy even for me.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:22 (twenty years ago)

I swear this picture was taken in the dirties motherfucking place ever

I WOULD BE WEARING TIGHT PANTS FOR DEE LADIES BUTT IT WAS LIKE 110 DEGREES THAT DAY

― Professor Challenger (ex machina), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:23 (twenty years ago)

Kate, is this because you haven't had sex with a dirty little boy in a while, or are you constantly horny?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:24 (twenty years ago)

No, I think it's coz I haven't had sex in a while. When you hit that three month mark, you go a bit crazy and start humping people's legs almost at random.

(Don't get any ideas, Jon!)

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Not to mention that I am running a temperature and feverish. I'm so freaking ill, I think I might actually skip maths, and go home and crawl into bed and die instead. :-(

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:35 (twenty years ago)

I still think you could do better, Kate. Every boy you've perved on here looks like he wouldn't have a *clue* what to do with your clit.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:36 (twenty years ago)

If I could actually pull a boy that looked like that... man he wouldn't have to have the faintest clue what to do with my clit! He could just sit in the bathtub while I masturbate!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:38 (twenty years ago)

I have images in my head now, and believe me, they're VERY incriminating.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Oooh, dooo share!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:45 (twenty years ago)

No, actually, don't. I am going home now. I'm dying. My throat feels like it's on fire. This is what I get for licking strangers. Sigh.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:46 (twenty years ago)

"The prosecution will show that Kate did, beyond any reasonable doubt, drug and intice this innocaent young man into a bathtub while she pleasured herself in front of him."

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:47 (twenty years ago)

Stop it! I need to go home, and stop clicking on the picture of the bathtub!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Kate, you are so a Mark Renton girl.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 4 October 2004 16:04 (twenty years ago)

EEWWW!!! EWWWWW!!! EWWWWW, DC, YOU JUST HARSHBUZZED MY CLIT-ON!!!

This is the single greatest sentance I have ever read.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 4 October 2004 17:31 (twenty years ago)

That is pretty fucking good.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:11 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://img68.photobucket.com/albums/v208/jcoombs/?

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:22 (twenty years ago)

err,

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v208/jcoombs/nakedme.gif

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:23 (twenty years ago)

idiots

― oc, Monday, 4 October 2004 23:42 (twenty years ago)

So did I make TEH ULTIMATE FUNNY thread, then? Bet I didn't. Sigh.

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:31 (twenty years ago)

You made the ILEpitaphs thread. Which is better anyway. More exclusive.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:37 (twenty years ago)

i might post oc's comment on it

― Senor Embargo (blueski), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:38 (twenty years ago)

I wish I had use for the phrase "you just harshbuzzed my clit-on". Oh, if only I were female.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty years ago)

Or a hermaphrodite.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty years ago)

Where's the epitaphs thread? Is it worth another 50p to find out?

Gah, this is more addictive than peep shows. But cheaper, thankfully!

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (twenty years ago)

Back (on) Top! ha ha

I've had too much caffeine this morning and need some distracting sex talk.

That FHM model has a weird face.

The two guys kissing are cute, but the gun does nothing for me. I think he should be holding a flower instead.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:48 (twenty years ago)

I was going to say a cat, but I don't want people to think that... well... yeah... just something fuzzy and soft.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:49 (twenty years ago)

Revive! er... in more ways than one. Us horny people need to have a place to come together. Or at least be together.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:24 (twenty years ago)

three days and counting

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:27 (twenty years ago)

until...?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:27 (twenty years ago)

About a month. Oh, joy.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:32 (twenty years ago)

Do you guys have long-distance girlfriends? Or are you saving up for hookers?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:34 (twenty years ago)

no no these are 'since' times

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:35 (twenty years ago)

ah so.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:35 (twenty years ago)

I do.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:37 (twenty years ago)

what's it been now? a month, yes

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:44 (twenty years ago)

Wear a trucker hat and you're sorted.

― Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:46 (twenty years ago)

Eat a falafel, buy a vibrator.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:47 (twenty years ago)

I knew there was something I forgot to do today... eat a falafel!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:57 (twenty years ago)

Luna, I do not believe for a second that you purchased a viobrator today. I believe instead that you already own an assortment.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:59 (twenty years ago)

a veritable dollymixture of vibrations?

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:06 (twenty years ago)

I do already own an assortment, this is true - however, I did purchase a new one today.

I like variety. And it's hot pink.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:09 (twenty years ago)

Carnation pink is such a turnoff.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:11 (twenty years ago)

carnation pink vibrators could surely only be for nannas

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (twenty years ago)

Well it's either that or I become a nun.

I took a chance.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (twenty years ago)

Funnily enough, since I last posted here I've had sex with two different persons, which is highly unusual for me. But both of these affairs were kinda messy and didn't leave me any happier, and I've come to realize it's not really sex I'm missing, it's having sex with someone I'm in love with.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (twenty years ago)

I miss being in love, too.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:13 (twenty years ago)

i haven't had sex for 5 months. this is a record for me, the longest since i have been sexually active (about 12 years). i'm not crawling the walls or anything yet though.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:13 (twenty years ago)

aw. Tuomas, I hug you. Not that it's me you want a hug from, but still. I understand that a whole lot.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:14 (twenty years ago)

Thanks, Kenan, I appreciate your sympathy. Hugs to you too.

Gem, you've had regular sex ever since you were twelve? Of course there's nothing wrong with it, but that's kinda unusual. Or at least unusual compared to people like me who lost their virginity when they were 18.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:18 (twenty years ago)

it's not really sex I'm missing, it's having sex with someone I'm in love with.

Is it possible to be in love with someone and still have bad sex? Because I'm pretty sure I'm in love, but the sex is the worst I've ever had, and I'm including my early twenties. Could it be that I love her as a friend?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:18 (twenty years ago)

I ate falafel today

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (twenty years ago)

Gem, you've had regular sex ever since you were twelve

errrr no, i've been sexually active for about 12 years (i'm 28).

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (twenty years ago)

It could be.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (twenty years ago)

Could it be that I love her as a friend?

...or is that just a stupid thing to say? "I love you as a friend." Oh Jesus, someone please slap the shit out of me if I ever actually say that to a woman.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:21 (twenty years ago)

I worry sometimes that I will
(a) never have sex again;
(b) never be in love again; and
(c) both of the above.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:21 (twenty years ago)

"I love you as a friend."

someone said that to me once. it broke my heart.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:22 (twenty years ago)

xpost me too luna! i think about that quite a lot actually.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:22 (twenty years ago)

You're only worried about (a) because you care about (b).

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:23 (twenty years ago)

Which, BTW, is completely understandable, right, and noble.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:23 (twenty years ago)

errrr no, i've been sexually active for about 12 years (i'm 28).

Oh, sorry, I misread you post.

Kenan, how long have you been with her? Things might take time to develop, but usually the love part should help.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:25 (twenty years ago)

(b) breaks my heart. at least it would if I had one.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:25 (twenty years ago)

Tuomas -- At this date... three years and four months. Long enough for whatever was going to develop to develop. I'm just worried about hanging around so long that hatred and resentment develop.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:27 (twenty years ago)

Oh, Luna, I'm sure it'll happen to you again.

My problem seems not to be that I don't fall in love, but that I fall in love with persons who only "love me as a friend".

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:29 (twenty years ago)

Luna, Jesus. Shut up. Weren't you just talking yesterday about having kids and loving them eternally? Yeah, you're so heartless. I could stand to borrow some of your heart.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:29 (twenty years ago)

Okay Kenan, now I see your point.

(x-post)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:30 (twenty years ago)

I guess I'm just being crabby. I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm lonely and I'm so sick and tired of being lonely. If Adolf Hitler can have a girlfriend, why can;t I find someone to love me?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:35 (twenty years ago)

Luna, Jesus. Shut up.

That was a bit abrasive, wasn't it?

Luna, you are not heartless. You are warm and understanding and forgiving and loving. I don't understand why you would ever think yourself heartless, but you have my email address if you ever want to expand on that in private.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:35 (twenty years ago)

No, it wasn't abrasive, you're right, I should shut up.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:36 (twenty years ago)

If Adolf Hitler can have a girlfriend, why can;t I find someone to love me?

Because Hitler was a charmer? And Eva hated Jews, too? Don't wish for that.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:37 (twenty years ago)

This thread has become something less than horny.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:40 (twenty years ago)

No I'm not wishing for that, I just thought of the worst person I could think of and... don't even listen to me, I'm all coked up on cold meds, and I'm just really weary.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:41 (twenty years ago)

Good point.

Hey nice shoes, wanna fuck?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:41 (twenty years ago)

This thread has become something less than horny.

Rules of the InterWeb, part XXIV:

When Hitler gets mentioned, the horniness level usually falls down.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:42 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps "This is the lonely commiseration thread" would be a more apt title. Or would that be too sad?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:45 (twenty years ago)

Less talk of the sadness, more talk of the sexing.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:46 (twenty years ago)

Jesus CHILLAX FOLKZ0RZ

Less talk of the sadness, more talk of the sexing.

Luna, I think you're the shizzle, fo nizzle, and I'd have my wizzle wit yizzle all nizzle, ya dizzle?

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:55 (twenty years ago)

Word, yo.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:56 (twenty years ago)

Snoop-speak aside, I'm quite serious.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:01 (twenty years ago)

I was going to say "Well done, Tuomas" but then read the rest of your posts and got all sad. I hope that something turns out alright for you.

Seems like Luna's posts are writing the story of my life right now.

I guess I'm just being crabby. I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm lonely and I'm so sick and tired of being lonely. If Adolf Hitler can have a girlfriend, why can;t I find someone to love me?

This feels so OTM it hurts. Except not so extreme, more like I look round my friends and colleagues and even random strangers and feel like "crikey, if they can find someone to put up with them, why can't I?" only that just makes me more depressed and lonely.

I still keep having random crying jags nearly every morning, it seems like lately. And I still have bursts of anger at my ex for dumping me so horribly. But then I try to remind myself that I was lonely and miserable a lot of the time even when I was *with* him.

Less talk of sadness, more talk of sexing... sigh. I try to write horny wank porn, and halfway through it stops being about the horny porn and starts being about sweet and tender moments like sitting eating breakfast in caffs and tender moments in the bathtub washing his hair and long, urgent conversations about random stuffs.

I don't miss having a boyfriend, I miss having a best friend. :-(

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:04 (twenty years ago)

Jesus, this is depressing.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:06 (twenty years ago)

I can still write the horny wank porn; I'm not sure if this is good or bad.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:06 (twenty years ago)

And I heartily apologize for having brought this thread down.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:07 (twenty years ago)

(And Andrew, I would so take you up on that right now...)

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:08 (twenty years ago)

I'm sorry, I seem to have lowered the tone even further. I shouldn't have been so honest, I should have just JW-ed the thread with giant naked photos of libertines getting it on. I just can't even get my care on for that right now.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:09 (twenty years ago)

http://giganticmag.com/images/underwear.jpg

hi dere

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:12 (twenty years ago)

Kate, I like you best when you're being brutally honest about yourself. (It is, to me, infinitely preferable to reading you obsess about dirty dronerock boys or whatever it is you're into these days!) I just find it depressing because I'm in a pretty shitty situation myself at the moment and all this talk has made me think about it more.

(And Andrew, I would so take you up on that right now...)

Too bad we're separated by a few thousand kilometres of ocean. :-(

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:13 (twenty years ago)

I'm not young enough for Danger Whore, i know. But maybe I'm hairless enough?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:13 (twenty years ago)

I totally relate to this, Kate. One of my friends who, to my knowledge, has never really dated anyone, has begun a relationship, and while I'm certainly happy for the said friend, I can't stop thinking, "Why not me too?".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:15 (twenty years ago)

Of course you should be honest, kate. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, and if I could, I would kick J0e square in the nuts for this.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:15 (twenty years ago)

Kenan, you've got it goin' ON.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:16 (twenty years ago)

I'm taking that picture down right now. I am filled with shame.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:16 (twenty years ago)

I don't think Jon's being particularly bastardly, here. You have to expect some people to react in that way when discussing personal issues in an open forum (which is why I rarely, if ever, choose to do so).

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:17 (twenty years ago)

Kenan, your naked body looks remarkably like mine!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:17 (twenty years ago)

You have not seen my naked body. Few have. Except... well, nevermind.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:19 (twenty years ago)

This thread has started to sex up again!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:21 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps I should post a semi-naked pic of myself too! Or the picture of me in drag...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:22 (twenty years ago)

Well, there's always email...

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:22 (twenty years ago)

This thread has started to sex up again!

M I S S I O N A C C O M P L I S H E D

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:24 (twenty years ago)

Speaking of email, Luna, do you still use msn?

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:25 (twenty years ago)

Yup, luna_cee_@hotmail.com

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:26 (twenty years ago)

Hrmm, I have you on my list but you appear offline. Meh.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:26 (twenty years ago)

Luna clearly wants to send someone a dirty pic.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:26 (twenty years ago)

Or not...

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:27 (twenty years ago)

(And I kinda hope that someone is me.)

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:27 (twenty years ago)

Me too!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:27 (twenty years ago)

Did you look closely at the email I sent you the other day, K?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:28 (twenty years ago)

If I wasn't at work I'd send a dirty picture or two...

Although I'm quite clean, generally - sorry Kate.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:29 (twenty years ago)

Luna -- I did not. You may want to send it again.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:32 (twenty years ago)

check the first one I replied to yours with - it shows as having an attachment for me.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:36 (twenty years ago)

Is that you up there, Kenan? Nice body, yes, but I'm more of a boxers sort of girl...

Sorry, Andrew, but I *don't* prefer myself when I'm being brutally honest. I actually find it more depressing to contemplate the exact dimensions of the hole that I've dug for myself.

Obsessing about dronerock boys is like some kind of drug that makes me feel temporarily better about myself, my life, my emotions or lack thereof, a temporary kick, but then again, those are the best ones? It's better than turning to smack, isn't it?

I hate myself even more when I drone on endlessly about my problems and my loneliness. There are some people on this board that do this to a fault, and it makes me sick to my stomach that I could be doing something like that. I want to kick myself in the teeth and scream "JUST GET OVER IT ALREADY!" I'd rather concentrate on being happy and fun and hold onto whatever makes me feel that way.

Besides, when I'm banging on about DDB's and people say "Stop it you cunt" it doesn't hurt because that's not really who I am. When I'm banging on about my depression/loneliness and people say "Stop it you cunt" then that feels like being kicked in a very soft and tender part of my stomach and that really hurts.

Sorry, I should be talking about sexing, but I'm not. :-(

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:38 (twenty years ago)

It may seem weird, but lots of times I wish I could just give you a hug, Kate. I've often wanted to kick my own teeth in and I've screamed 'get the fuck over it already' at myself more times than I can count, but it just doesn't help. You get over it when you get over it and not a moment before.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:40 (twenty years ago)

luna -- Check your email.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:41 (twenty years ago)

How right you are, Luna.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:41 (twenty years ago)

Aawww, thanks, Luna. A hug is just about the best reaction you can give to someone who feels like kicking themselves in the teeth, in that weird emotional anti-logic.

I often feel like talking about it prevents me from getting over it.

But then not talking about it makes it become an obsession or a thoughtworm, which is next to impossible to get over.

You're right. You get over it when you get over it.

You're so OTM on this thread, I wish I could give *you* a hug!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:42 (twenty years ago)

you are right luna. and isn't it such a fantastic feeeling though, that moment when you realise you are over it?

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:43 (twenty years ago)

It really is.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:46 (twenty years ago)

hell, if anyone else wants pictorial email, let me know. you have five minutes.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:47 (twenty years ago)

I'll let you know when and if it ever happens.

It's at the point where a note scribbled on the back of some forwarded mail (how freaking tacky is that? If you've got something to say to me, say it, you f*cking passive aggressive cunt) can send me spiralling into anger and depression for days.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:48 (twenty years ago)

kate, if it makes you feel any better, i have always felt your particular brand of pain, and i have (unlike some others) never though less of you for being overtly sexual around here. (I'd be one to talk, for one thing.)

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:48 (twenty years ago)

ive spent the last hour trawling the net for pictures of my current crush - the phones4u advert quiz guy - to no avail :(

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:49 (twenty years ago)

hell, if anyone else wants pictorial email, let me know. you have five minutes.

Me!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:49 (twenty years ago)

You've got mail.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 07:57 (twenty years ago)

Tuomas is in for a real treat.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:00 (twenty years ago)

I need some serious commiserations now!

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:00 (twenty years ago)

Luna, I'm... I'm wordless!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:01 (twenty years ago)

But horny! ;)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:08 (twenty years ago)

And now we've come back to the point of the thread!

Me too!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:11 (twenty years ago)

Hrmm.. Well I'm not so frustrated any more.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:19 (twenty years ago)

I wish I could return the favour, Luna, but I don't have too many pictures of myself, and I'm hardly a hunk, more like a skinny Scandinavian.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:20 (twenty years ago)

i have an idea...just post it on here, tuomas

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:22 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I think you've seen all the pictures of me I have.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:24 (twenty years ago)

I'm going to have a wank and go to sleep. Night y'all. xxx

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:30 (twenty years ago)

Good night, love, and have a nice wank! I think I should too.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:33 (twenty years ago)

And thank you for making me feel horny again instead of lonely.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:40 (twenty years ago)

I wish I felt horny. This thread just made me feel even more lonely.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:41 (twenty years ago)

http://www.mv.helsinki.fi/aqkorhon/tuulipukujuhla11.jpg

Oh Kate, how could you not feel horny in the presence of a hot guy like me...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:49 (twenty years ago)

(Well, at least I tried.)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 08:50 (twenty years ago)

Wow Tuomas, what a picture!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 18 October 2004 09:13 (twenty years ago)

Aawww, you horny Finn, thank you. That cheered me up.

But not as much as this did:

So Not Safe For Work Oh No No No.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 09:24 (twenty years ago)

Oh lord, art students, god bless them each and every one (technically work safe but still a bit of a dodgy situation)

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 09:26 (twenty years ago)

Your first pic is beautiful, Kate, and in no way obscene. The second one isn't loading for me though.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 10:22 (twenty years ago)

The second one is just really sweet!

I didn't say it was obscene - I mean, you can't see any bits or anything in the first one, either. But it's definitely not safe for work.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 10:24 (twenty years ago)

Nipple Worship:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/milkyeros/489.jpg

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 11:17 (twenty years ago)

I really just don't understand how you can find these people even vaguely attractive, Kate. That kid's all hollow-eyed, yellow-teethed, scrawny and scarred. Yech.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 18 October 2004 11:55 (twenty years ago)

I have sex at least 4 times a week these days and Im still horny all the time. I thought I was supposed to hit my peak when I was 20? 10 years later and i got a constant erection.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Monday, 18 October 2004 11:58 (twenty years ago)

maybe he's got a great personality?

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 18 October 2004 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Not HIM, Andrew, the bloke who's doing the squeezing.

It's just the whole homoeroticism of the whole thing. Coz I'm just a gay man trapped in a middle aged woman's body.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Here he is, being all smart and stuff:

http://www.freepichosting.com/Thumbs/421565484/0/1.jpg

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 18 October 2004 12:04 (twenty years ago)

!!!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 22 October 2004 06:44 (twenty years ago)

(N.B. he's probably not actually thinking up his next killer checkmate move at all, but just thinking "la la la, look at the pretty horsie!")

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:14 (twenty years ago)

He's got the gaze of someone who's thinking "I'm missing Eastenders for this?"

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:46 (twenty years ago)

aside from a kinda "enh" attempt a few months ago, it's been years for me.

oh, and i know live in a new city in a new state, so i get to start over all over again.

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:58 (twenty years ago)

HORNY.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 4 November 2004 00:23 (twenty years ago)

HORNY HORNY

POLITICS MAKE ME HORNY

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 00:26 (twenty years ago)

SO HORNY

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 4 November 2004 00:28 (twenty years ago)

Shame you're not on MSN, luna.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 4 November 2004 01:40 (twenty years ago)

Hey, this was a timely revive. For me.

Rrrrrrr...

― JimD (JimD), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:13 (twenty years ago)

whimper

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:15 (twenty years ago)

eh I've had me Wednesday wank, I'm set

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:16 (twenty years ago)

CO-ED SAUNAS!

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:17 (twenty years ago)

My wednesday wank was a long time ago. I'm well into thursday.

Ah, I'm drunk. But still. Who wants some?

― JimD (JimD), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:19 (twenty years ago)

Did anyone else have election night consolation sex?

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:46 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't be here if I did, would I?

Ah bugger it, I'm off to bed. night night.

― JimD (JimD), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:53 (twenty years ago)

four months for me, not really bothered about it. After this second breakup with the same guy I'm not of the mind to fuck everybody I meet in a sad revenge/self-esteem salvage as the first time we broke up. I can wait.

This thread made me feel vaguely horny but my masturbation attempts these days aren't successful 9 times out of 10 so it's kind of pointless.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:51 (twenty years ago)

anti-depressants?

― Kenan (kenan), Thursday, 4 November 2004 05:10 (twenty years ago)

oh shit thats an endurance game

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Thursday, 4 November 2004 05:29 (twenty years ago)

No kidding. In a bad way, not in a fun motocross way.

― Kenan (kenan), Thursday, 4 November 2004 05:41 (twenty years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/images/bbc/talent/radiotalent/6music_bobby_gillespie.jpg

― Two-Headed Zombie With No Face (kate), Thursday, 4 November 2004 11:35 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

sweet mother of mercy i haven't had sex in 12 days and i have to wait 11 more and whats worse is that my vibrator is 110kms south of here when it should be a mere armslength south. while this isn't the end of the world or of masturbation as we know it i would sure prefer a nice penis or a big hunk of stiff rubber as opposed to another desperate rendezvous with my hand.

i think i'm a go start a bam margera picture thread on IRE.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 11:31 (twenty years ago)

vibrators rule.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:46 (twenty years ago)

sweet mother of mercy i haven't had sex in 12 days and i have to wait 11 more and whats worse is that my vibrator is 110kms south of here when it should be a mere armslength south.

are you in the ILX secret santa, di?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:48 (twenty years ago)

although, 12 days.. well damn.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:48 (twenty years ago)

It's now been fifteen months since I orgasmed with the aid of another. I'm now to the point where I don't even attempt to find a horn companion. And this should bother me, but doesn't.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:50 (twenty years ago)

I need to find a bromide supplier, got a terrible case of the horn.

― leigh (leigh), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:52 (twenty years ago)

If my situation could be translated into electricity, it would crash the Internet. Forever.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:53 (twenty years ago)

I've had sex like twice in the last 6 weeks and I wish I could stop thinking about it.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:54 (twenty years ago)

GET ONE LAID

I've had more sex than I can fathom in the past 8 months. BUt its business related.

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:55 (twenty years ago)

It's now been fifteen months since I orgasmed with the aid of another. I'm now to the point where I don't even attempt to find a horn companion. And this should bother me, but doesn't.
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), December 29th, 2004 4:50 PM. (nickalicious)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I need to find a bromide supplier, got a terrible case of the horn.
-- leigh (melodynelso...), December 29th, 2004 4:52 PM. (leigh)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If my situation could be translated into electricity, it would crash the Internet. Forever.
-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), December 29th, 2004 4:53 PM. (Jeanne Fury)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've had sex like twice in the last 6 weeks and I wish I could stop thinking about it.
-- Jordan (jordan...), December 29th, 2004 4:54 PM. (Jordan)

HEY! i've got an idea.

you guys should hook up!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:57 (twenty years ago)

GET ONE LAID
I've had more sex than I can fathom in the past 8 months. BUt its business related.

-- Big Baby Bingo (formerlypoopsmcge...), December 29th, 2004 4:55 PM. (Chris V)

i.e. you paid?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:58 (twenty years ago)

some people don't know they're ~~born~~ plenty sexed

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:58 (twenty years ago)

Well, you ARE cheap, Ken.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:58 (twenty years ago)

mmm... piles of steamy humping bodies.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:58 (twenty years ago)

http://please.leisuretown.us/dilhole/images/d003.jpg

― CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:01 (twenty years ago)

It has to be said that doesn't vary that much from the Dilbert universe at all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:02 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://bestmessageboardever.com/uploads/post-5-1089838797.jpg

― CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:02 (twenty years ago)

if i got paid for all the fuckin i've been doing i'd be a millionaire....nah, im trying to make a baby bingo.

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:03 (twenty years ago)

rawrr

ihttp://bestmessageboardever.com/uploads/post-5-1104339969.jpg

― CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:06 (twenty years ago)

12 days? i think the last time i got laid was like 9 months ago, but oddly i don't really seem to mind. just the idea of some hot juicy cock getting rammed down my throat, even if i didn't have a gag reflex, makes me want to vomit. i dunno, im 24, i thought i was supposed to be in the prime of my sexlife. i wonder if something is broken

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:06 (twenty years ago)

WHYYYYYY (jadakiss voice)

― CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:06 (twenty years ago)

phil, would you prefer it in the ass? I mean, there are options here.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:10 (twenty years ago)

no, not really. i don't really see the appeal of getting butt-blasted. a) it hurts. b) its messy. c) i have issues with gay sex top/bottom role politics stuff. d) it hurts.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:14 (twenty years ago)

hm.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:16 (twenty years ago)

I think phil needs a good ol' fashioned father figure.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:19 (twenty years ago)

I think I've reached a point where I could dry hump in a snowsuit and still get reasonable satisfaction from it.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:20 (twenty years ago)

I'm picturing Jeanne in a threadbare sundress, holed up in a dusty shack in west texas, sweaty, hair stringy, breasts huge and heaving and moist. In TV commercials, this always means she wants a cola.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:24 (twenty years ago)

Je4nne makes me wish I was a woman living in NYC. Or a snowsuit.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:32 (twenty years ago)

Nick showed me a photo of Conor from Br1ght Eyes this morning in his Blender mag. I thought he was pretty cute, I mean, for a guy that's not my boyfriend.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:37 (twenty years ago)

Sarah and Conor sitting in a tree.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:38 (twenty years ago)

Kenan, I will never look as sultry as you have me imagined, though I'll take any chick who resembles such an image. Even in a snowsuit.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:40 (twenty years ago)

EWWW. Conor has like a 12-inch waist. Are you trying to give me body issues?

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:42 (twenty years ago)

Don't worry, Nick. Conor is a girl, and poses no threat to your mighty manliness.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:43 (twenty years ago)

ts: bright eyes vs. afghan whigs

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:46 (twenty years ago)

boys size 6 vs. "stocky"

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:48 (twenty years ago)

I'll take "stocky" as I would crush boys size 6. Any man in a snowsuit would look pretty lovable to me right now.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 17:55 (twenty years ago)

I havent' been horny in years. Do I need injections?

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:02 (twenty years ago)

Ok, I agree he's too skinny. I need a new celebrity to crush on then.
By the way, every time I try to remember his name I think of CS, our resident werewolf.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:05 (twenty years ago)

I havent' been horny in years. Do I need injections?

Apparently not!

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:07 (twenty years ago)

Conor Oberst should start a band with Conner Smedley.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:08 (twenty years ago)

Bright (Yellow) Eyes

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:09 (twenty years ago)

God help me, I seriously for real just thought to myself, "I bet a werewolf woman would be a great shag".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:12 (twenty years ago)

wild vadge!

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:13 (twenty years ago)

the verizon guy still makes me horny though, for what its worth.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:13 (twenty years ago)

nickalicious is a closeted furry! Actually, a few months ago I read this werewolf regency romance novel that I found at the library. It was as dire as imaginable.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:15 (twenty years ago)

still??!

x-post I guess you just made the realization that you're into hairy women, nickalicious. This is just the beginning of the rest of your life!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:16 (twenty years ago)

phil has had a boner for the verizon guy for like years.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:17 (twenty years ago)

The verizon guy reminds me of Eugene Levy.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:18 (twenty years ago)

the verizon guy reminds me of jude law

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:20 (twenty years ago)

Holy shit, I'm not into hairy women, I swear! This is how it starts, just a simple moment of unabashed honesty on the internet. Watch, next thing I know, I will be accosted on the street by hordes of sex-starved lady sasquatches.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:21 (twenty years ago)

i switched from t-mobile to verizon wireless hoping that there would be pictures of the verizon guy on my monthly statement. but there aren't.

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:22 (twenty years ago)

xpost - you wish.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:23 (twenty years ago)

haha, ya got me

Okay, things I have learned today, thanks to this thread:

*what a "furry" is
*that google is like a university wherein I learn all the horrible things about humanity that I would've never wanted to learn in a billionty jillion years

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:26 (twenty years ago)

so sex with a ladywolf would be sexy, but sex with a lady sasquatch wouldn't?

Sicko.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:26 (twenty years ago)

SPECIESIST

― somebody else, appalled at nickalicious' speciesist sexual fascism (nickalicious, Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:27 (twenty years ago)

One of my fears is that someday I will look exacly like the Verizon guy, and people will make "can you hear me now" jokes about me all the time.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Also, I just imagined a she-wolf who, wanting to appear younger and more desirable, shaves her pussy.

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:30 (twenty years ago)

i still want a band called She-wolf. Too bad I don't play any instruments besides SAXOPHONE.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:33 (twenty years ago)

Oh, stop pretending you're hindered by playing sax. you could be like Rindy Ross from Quaterflash! Or Lora Logic! There's hellawesome precedent.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:42 (twenty years ago)

how about her, nickalicious?

http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season4/vidcaps/62_29.jpg

(i r a buffy dork)

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Girls who play saxophone, now there is a fetish I will wholeheartedly own up to.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:45 (twenty years ago)

I've never watched Buffy, so I'm afeared of commenting on said picture, should she turn out to be a werepomeranian or something...but she is k-rowr, with them big ol' lips and whatnot. I like lips.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:47 (twenty years ago)

yeah those are nice lips

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:49 (twenty years ago)

I like girls with them trumpet-playin' (or even better, sousaphone-playin') lips.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:49 (twenty years ago)

Jordan you have nice lips

― Ididn'ttypethis (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:50 (twenty years ago)

well shit I so wasn't horny when I saw this thread but now I'm thinking about all these girls playing wind instruments and...thanks a lot, asshats.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:52 (twenty years ago)

yeah, she is kinda werepomeranianish in that ep, but she's hot when she's human...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 18:59 (twenty years ago)

does anyone want an Mp3 of me playing the sax. I just so happen to have one.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 21:01 (twenty years ago)

Jordan you have nice lips

That's the sweetest thing anyone's said to me in weeks.

does anyone want an Mp3 of me playing the sax

I do!

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 21:04 (twenty years ago)

It's a penis hat!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 21:09 (twenty years ago)

Mandee, what's an HQX file and how do I play it?

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:00 (twenty years ago)

what do jordan's lips look like?

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:05 (twenty years ago)

http://www.madolan.com/disasterdinner/music.jpg
http://madolan.com/comics/cornninjascomic.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:16 (twenty years ago)

Jordan looks like a suave motherfocker.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:18 (twenty years ago)

HE PLAYS A MEAN TAMBOURINE

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:24 (twenty years ago)

(I don't remember if it was green)

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:24 (twenty years ago)

Does this mean you'll all sleep with me?

(sorry, just trying to stay on topic)

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:27 (twenty years ago)

haha jordan dude
that corn maze is SO AWESOME!
it's a PIRATE THEME

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:28 (twenty years ago)

hmmm, those ARE nice & juicy lips!!!

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:29 (twenty years ago)

Was it a pirate when you went?! It was a big dragon the year I was there.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:29 (twenty years ago)

yeah this year: PIRATES!
i was afraid of them but
my kids kept me safe

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:30 (twenty years ago)

OMG

http://shopping.bancinternal.com/accounts/treinen//2004%20corn%20maze%20002_500w.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:33 (twenty years ago)

THAT IS AMAZING!

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:34 (twenty years ago)

yeah that eyepatch part
was a bitch to navigate!
i'm not good at that

but there was a girl
in the maze when we were there
AND SHE WAS SO HOTTTTT

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:35 (twenty years ago)

(just to return the thread to its pre-corn origins)

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:35 (twenty years ago)

this is the corny commiseration thread

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago)

porn maze

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:37 (twenty years ago)

Cock! Cock! Cock!

(nudging the thread further back on track)

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:42 (twenty years ago)

That just makes me think of in Arrested Development, when Gob does the "COCKACOCKACOOO!" chicken thing, which in turn, just makes me laugh.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:49 (twenty years ago)

are you in the ILX secret santa, di?

ha no but dear god i just saw (a bit of) that thread. i don't think i need a pocket pussy, i already have a pussy, and as it is snug between my legs i do not need a pocket.

PAGING BAM MARGERA. I AM HORNY, PLEASE HELP ME COMMISERATE. BRING YOUR PENIS.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 22:49 (twenty years ago)

i miss my gf

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 31 December 2004 07:09 (twenty years ago)

count me in on the general theme here, plz thx

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Friday, 31 December 2004 07:43 (twenty years ago)

Erm, yes, in general agreement. Whoever or whatever turned my libido back on, could you please turn it back off again. Annoyingly inconvenient at the moment.

― The Grain of Sand in Lambeth That Satan Cannot Find (kate), Friday, 31 December 2004 12:20 (twenty years ago)

Whoever or whatever turned Kate's libido back on, can you do the same for my wife please? kthxbye

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 31 December 2004 12:24 (twenty years ago)

Why would an ex-girlfriend come over at 1 o'clock in the morning just to sleep next to me? Why would she not want to make teh sex?
The resultant horniness is almost too much.

― Trip Maker (Sean Witzman), Friday, 7 January 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

you should have whacked off on her while she was asleep.

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 7 January 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

You're right.

― Trip Maker (Sean Witzman), Friday, 7 January 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

"It's snowing!"

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Friday, 7 January 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

Oh. My. GOD.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 28 February 2005 23:55 (twenty years ago)

All-time high?

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 28 February 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

This thread is amazing!

― stephen morris (stephen morris), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

And I've never posted to it. Ha. I'm sure that says everything about me you need to know :-/

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:02 (twenty years ago)

All time high, yes.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

So while you were typing that you were... you know...

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:26 (twenty years ago)

Not right then, no, but I might have just now had I not gotten interrupted.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:27 (twenty years ago)

Hi dere.

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:32 (twenty years ago)

http://www.mastermindtoys.com/store/Assets/index_page_images/whamo.jpg

― stephen morris (stephen morris), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

these were big in victorian england:

http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/4c/b0/kifmToy_SportsSoccem_BoppersSockem_Boppers-resized200.jpg

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:35 (twenty years ago)

Not right then, no, but I might have just now had I not gotten interrupted.

"Oh yes... oh... oh YES!! YES!! YE... wait, need to check ILX"

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 Ctrl+Alt+Del Ctrl+Alt+Del

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

"Oh yes... oh... oh YES!! YES!! YE... wait, need to check ILX"

It's like you were THERE!

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 00:43 (twenty years ago)

We've all been there, I think.

― haitch (haitch), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 01:06 (twenty years ago)

...I've said too much.

― haitch (haitch), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 01:07 (twenty years ago)

C/D Touching yourself to THAT photo

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 01:07 (twenty years ago)

which? the sock em boppers one??

― ()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

I didn't see any socks.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 01:31 (twenty years ago)

well then?

― ()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 01:52 (twenty years ago)

Hi! My name is Nick, and I'm horny as balls!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

The worst is when you have just enough shitty sex to remind you what good sex used to be like, but not enough to really get off!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

haha my sentence forming skills are on par with my ability to pull decent fuckbuddies!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

I shouldn't have posted on this thread, huh?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

I'm just lonely to a really sad-ass degree.

And. I. Hate. It.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

I thought that medication was supposed to diminish your libido. If anything, it's restored my self esteem to the point where my libido has returned! What a nuisance! Ah well. It makes looking at the DDB's a lot more fun, even if I know that I can't actually physically *do* anything with them. It means we can have nice conversations about AC-30s even as I'm mentally bathing them.

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 14:48 (twenty years ago)

I just want to do it wtih Peter Sarsgaard.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

ha! Who doesn't?

You see his willy in Kinsey, ya know. It's lovely.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

Not Ewan McGregor lovely, but still.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Tuesday, 1 March 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

two weeks pass...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:12 (twenty years ago)

Wait, no...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:12 (twenty years ago)

fouuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr looooooooojnnnnnnnngggggggg wwwwwwwwwwwwereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekssss fuck

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

I got totally satisfied today, and then immediately came down with chills, fever, whole-body ache and a 101 fever. DON'T DO IT, KIDS!!

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:19 (twenty years ago)

now i'm thinking you fucked a bag of frozen peas!!

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

I'll tell my wife you said that. Cad! Pistols at dawn!

― Curious George Finds the Ether Bottle (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

george and his wife, yesterday:

http://lifelibertypursuit.blogs.com/photos/august_2004/dscn2101.JPG

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

okay, I think I'm not horny anymore. thanks mark.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:32 (twenty years ago)

that's, um, what i'm here for?

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 01:37 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.sickamongthepure.com/files/2004/01/ReviewLovage/01_review_smooveb.gif

Smoove thinks of you only on two occasions, girl. Day and night.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 02:20 (twenty years ago)

http://www.prejeant.com/digest/character6.jpg

Smoove thinks of you only on two occasions, girl. Day and night.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 02:22 (twenty years ago)

grr.

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 02:29 (twenty years ago)

my libido has skyrocketed since I got married!

(probably this has more to do with me quitting my high-stress job at the same time)

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 02:33 (twenty years ago)

good lord teeny, you used to brag BEFORE you got married!

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 02:33 (twenty years ago)

I do not remember any bragging!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 02:52 (twenty years ago)

Sam, that's just awesome. Not surprisingly I got mine last night too. That was one of my more enjoyable drunks in a while; haha it was on the bottle of two-buck chuck my mom brought over! No hangover either!
-- teeny (teen...), December 28th, 2003.

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:02 (twenty years ago)

sigh!

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:06 (twenty years ago)

haha goddammit i both posted, and was the subject of, a craigslist missed connection this week.

― f--gg (gcannon), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:09 (twenty years ago)

ok mr bitter mchornington.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

f'real? hott!

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:11 (twenty years ago)

haha thanks

― Mr. Bitter McHornington (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:13 (twenty years ago)

Cool dude on SWA Flt Today Sacto to Burbank, Coming back from PARADISE - 27

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-**********@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-03-07, 12:02PM PST

hey-
thought after the fact, should have given you my
number or email or something if u ever wanna chill, u seem like a cool
dude, same intersts would be cool to pick your brain
some on production etc, smoke it up, never can have too many friends
its a long shot, but hit me up if u notice this, we were on a
southwest flight from Sacramento to Burbank yesterday (Sunday)
hopefully your out there

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:27 (twenty years ago)

why is that on horny commiseration?

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:33 (twenty years ago)

haha goddammit i both posted, and was the subject of, a craigslist missed connection this week.
-- f--gg (gffcnn...), March 16th, 2005 7:09 PM.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:36 (twenty years ago)

just a bit of fun

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 03:36 (twenty years ago)

yeah, sacramento is my PARADISE.

― f--gg (gcannon), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 04:10 (twenty years ago)

It got me goin'!

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 04:14 (twenty years ago)

so cold for so long

― kingfish van pickles (Kingfish), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 04:19 (twenty years ago)

I lied. I was still totally hot.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

well duh

― ()ops (()()ps), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

OMG teh horn pwns me! Last night I had a sex dream involving Elastigirl from Teh Incredibles argh!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

OMG I called my ex (who lives in Covelo, California now) the other day just to check up on her and stuff and all she can talk about is how much she misses our sex and I'm like "okay then Cl4r4 come home!" and she's like "I can't, I would never get anything done"...fuck that, come home and fuck!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

Luna has revived this thread three times...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

She can go alllllll night.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and teeny, you are easily one of the best-fucked people I know. If I were you, I'd get a shirt that says "I'm a Well-Fucked Woman, Who The Hell Are You?"

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

x-post

I wouldn't know...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

Mr. Teeny could wear a shirt that says "ME = TEH MAN".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

Luna has revived this thread three times...

Mama always said 'play to your strengths.'

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

You should revive ALL threads then!

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

I feel this one most represents who I am as a person. A horny person.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Are you ever worried about others' reactions to your horniness? Do you believe horniness to be genetic, or learned? There are some religious groups that claim to be able to "cure" you of your horniness. Hoow do they make you feel?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

I could be mistaken, but I have a feeling that this thread is closer to Luna's heart than any other thread out there. DAMNIT XXPOST.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

luna, if I weren't feeling so stressed out and un-sexy at the moment, I'd be horny, too. And once again, it would be for you.

― mmm hmmm, Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

Are you ever worried about others' reactions to your horniness?

I, too, have wondered if Luna is ever troubled by my raging boner that consistently points westward.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

Can we pilot ships by you?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

There are some religious groups that claim to be able to "cure" you of your horniness.

We can cure you of your horniness! All you must do is worship deeply and vigorously our sacred symbol of fertility!

― International Brotherhood of the Ten-Inch Wang (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

Firstly, I must point out that this thread has virtually nothing to do with my heart.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

By "heart" I clearly meant "clitoris."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Are you ever worried about others' reactions to your horniness?

I am never worried about it. They can react or not, doesn't matter.

Do you believe horniness to be genetic, or learned?

Speculating as to whether horniness is genetic or learned would force me to consider whether or not my parents were or are horny, and I absolutely refuse to do this. My mother already told me once that my dad isn't circumsized, and that was horror enough for me, thanks. I'm going with learned.

There are some religious groups that claim to be able to "cure" you of your horniness. Hoow do they make you feel?

Like sending them a case of sex toys.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

luna, if I weren't feeling so stressed out and un-sexy at the moment, I'd be horny, too. And once again, it would be for you.

Geez, at least email me!

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

By "heart" I clearly meant "clitoris."

In that case, yes, I would agree. This is the thread closest to my clitoris.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Are you holding your splendid crotch up next to the screen?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

One of these days, I'll be able to post something to this thread that doesn't make me ashamed to exist.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

Geez, at least email me!

Luna: Resident ILX Sex Therapist

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

That makes me sound a little too much like Dr. Ruth...

Anyway, speaking of sex toys, while doing a little online shopping for my best friend's bridal shower/bachelorette party yesterday, I bought more for myself than for her.

I am a maniac.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

What's the count on your toy collection?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

Let's have a full inventory

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

recommendations pls.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

Teens, maybe it's time you start that thread...

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:17 (twenty years ago)

Off the top of my head:

8 vibrators: one pink glitter, one purple with anal probe thing, one rabbit, one mini 'whisper quiet' (I ordered that one yesterday), one jelly, one that lights up (why, I really couldn't say), one g spot stimulator and the hitachi magic wand.

4 dildoes: one red, one 'lifelike', one 'suction mounted' and one glass.

anal beads, a butt plug or two, panties with remote, the 'butterfly massager', and handcuffs, as well as an assortment and array of lubes, potions and ungents. Oh, and honey dust with application feathers.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

Honey dust?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

panties with remote

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

*jaw drops*

SO JEALOUS

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

http://www.mypleasure.com/store/assets/product_images/0220.jpg

Pure, rich honey is used in this soft and erotic flavored body dust. Brush it onto your lover with the handcrafted feather duster and your lover will feel like an exotic, perfumed breeze is blowing against their bare skin. Then gently trace your lover's contours with your mouth and intake the sweet smell and taste of honey while you both enjoy the silky smooth feel of the Honey Dust between your warm bodies. Delicious.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

*enlightened*

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

panties with remote

LIKE THE BATMOBILE!?!?!?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:35 (twenty years ago)

*speaking into watch/spy-phone*

HE'S GETTING AWAY...PANTIES, I NEED YOU, STAT!

*panties leap into action*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

Also, does it light up so you can find it in the dark?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

hahaha - not exactly, nick. (but seriously, how cool would that be?)

and it might, Jimmy, I really have no idea why. Maybe they think that the cervix doesn't get enough light.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it's ment to be used in conjunction with a speculum?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

...like those magnifying eyeglasses with the little flashlights attatched?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

Possibly, but I think it'd get in the way, more than anything.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I guess that's a few too many vegetables in the pie...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

And so I will not be concentrating on work at all for the rest of the day.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

Quite the metaphor, that is.

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

Because of pie?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:03 (twenty years ago)

heh. Not as good as "mayonnaising," but colorful nonetheless.

Is luna mayonnaising today?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:03 (twenty years ago)

You'll have to draw your own conclusions.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:04 (twenty years ago)

And no, not because of the pie (though I agree, quite the analogy) but it was at about that point that I realized I should give up the pretense altogether.

What I should really do is go home and ... well, go home.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

Right... a lot happens between those ellipsese...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

I got totally satisfied today, and then immediately came down with chills, fever, whole-body ache and a 101 fever. DON'T DO IT, KIDS!!

I'm not sure I "got totally satisfied" today (actually, I'm pretty sure I haven't been totally satisfied since the last Presidential election) (the last last one) (no, wait, the LAST last last one), but the same shit happened to me, too! I just got home from work and I feel like I was put on a rack and filled with spit. DON'T DO ANYTHING, KIDS!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

I fear I am in danger of spontaneously combusting.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

Hang in there. As Dan Rather would say, "Courage."

Maybe thinking of Dan Rather will ease your pain?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

http://crankygreg.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/ratherbeet.jpg

"Think about something else."

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

Um no. Not at all.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

Don't make me pull out the Andy Rooney on you.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

My ex-boyfriend left a couple of comments on my blog yesterday, and I've been horny-and-maudlin ever since

(as opposed to, like, just horny)

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

oh that's a horrible combo. my sympathies.

― ()ops (()()ps), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

Is Dan Rather the Bea Arthur of tv news men? I think yes.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

I'm not even sure Andy Rooney would work. It's been the last several days now, and no matter what I do, it's not abating.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

Flog your cooter.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

Jeanne is very wise.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:22 (twenty years ago)

I did that!

It was hot.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:26 (twenty years ago)

Then there is no hope for you.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:26 (twenty years ago)

I know.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

Bummer.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure it's necessarily a bad thing.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:38 (twenty years ago)

No, but even a lady demands total satisfaction SOMETIMES, right?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

only so much as hunger is a bad thing when you have no food. wait, no, that's worse, cause i've never been able to stroke my tummy and feel full.

― ()ops (()()ps), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

My theory: it's the kind of horny that requires not only orgasm, but foreplay before and cuddling afterwards, and possibly a return visit, and maybe even marriage and old age and death.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

It's the worst kind of horny to have when you're single. And it only happens when you're single.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

Hi.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/butts.jpg

― The Ghost of Just Trying To Help (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

it's the kind of horny that requires not only orgasm, but foreplay before and cuddling afterwards, and possibly a return visit

Totally. My horniness gets to a raging point and then depression sets in. I need a woman!

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

t/s rabbit vs magic wand?

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 23:11 (twenty years ago)

Make that thread; follow your curiosity (for the rest of the mens, who have only the fleshlight).

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

The magic wand does indeed live up to its name, however, it has only low and high settings and sometimes too much exposure to the high setting can leave you feeling a little... numb.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 23:53 (twenty years ago)

My theory: it's the kind of horny that requires not only orgasm, but foreplay before and cuddling afterwards, and possibly a return visit, and maybe even marriage and old age and death

It is exactly that kind, with many many many repeat visits. And then more after that.

I don't know about the marriage part, though, I don't think I was a very good wife, but if nothing else, I'm an excellent fuck.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 23:54 (twenty years ago)

how does this thread work?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 23:56 (twenty years ago)

with a magic wand

― ()ops (()()ps), Wednesday, 16 March 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

/meta

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/mar/63819245.html

― sexy waitress connie stevens (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:09 (twenty years ago)

Most important qualities for us are: Experience & real contacts in this industry.

Marketing experience or vibrator experience?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:14 (twenty years ago)

This vibrator is a spin off from another area of research.

Probably some sort of harmonic weapons...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

Maybe I need to start eating things with saltpeter in them.

Did that actually work?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

What, saltpeter causing enternal explosions?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

Nope, saltpeter supressing the um...urge.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

Oh fuck it, it wouldn't work anyway.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

Castor oil, on the other hand...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

"splendid crotch"

"my raging boner that consistently points westward"

what a fine thread!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 17 March 2005 00:45 (twenty years ago)

It is pretty good.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:08 (twenty years ago)

haha it seems to be mostly you feeling horny in general, followed by everyone else being eloquently horny for you.

i don't blame us

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

"Girrrl, you so fine, I use the english language for you"

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

Oh you sweettalkers.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

"Girrrl, you so fine, I conjugate verbs for you"

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:17 (twenty years ago)

Yeah baby, conjugate another one... oh god, nownownowNOW.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

luna, IM me and I will type you sweet nothings...

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

o ma lune, voulez-vous coucher avec mon canard?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

I would boots, but my AIM is screwy. And not in a good way.

And mooks, while it is an interesting proposition, and certainly one that has never been proposed to me before, I like ducks, but I don't LIKE ducks, if you get my drift.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

sorrowful quack

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 17 March 2005 01:32 (twenty years ago)

Wait, 'duck' wasn't a euphemism, was it?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

Pet name, perhaps?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:01 (twenty years ago)

Kinda disturbing, really.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:02 (twenty years ago)

Though if it were true, 'fuck a duck' would make a whole lot more sense.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

I apologize.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

You sound tired, Luna. Are ya tired?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:04 (twenty years ago)

um, it was a joke! my imaginary fowl thanks you

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:05 (twenty years ago)

This thread + luna's underwear photo = I just had a dirty dream.

― oh for fuck's sake, Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:06 (twenty years ago)

Not tired so much as forlorn.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:07 (twenty years ago)

Posting pictures of animals tends to cheer people up...

http://www.livingbeing.com/imagesanimals/ducksmating1w.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:10 (twenty years ago)

You hate me, don't you?

(My first thought was 'why are those ducks piling on that other du... OH.'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:11 (twenty years ago)

I hardly hate you! I just thought the picture of the cute aminals would make things better.

http://www.sarodibartolo.it/foto/sex/sx5-55.JPG

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:13 (twenty years ago)

I appreciate the thought, but somehow, quite strangely, it's not working.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:15 (twenty years ago)

ducks are poorly hung anyway!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:15 (twenty years ago)

Now that IS odd...

xpost

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:17 (twenty years ago)

MY what a lovely duck!

http://www.xs4all.nl/~zesessen/grote_en_kleine_fotos_nogmeer/10fuck-de-duck..._groot.jpg

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

Those are nice ducks.

I got stood up tonight. more ducks please.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:41 (twenty years ago)

being stood up would be fine, so long as being bent over follows

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:43 (twenty years ago)

I'm going home - the batteries, they call to me.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:45 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.kingdoms.co.uk/images/batteryleft.jpg

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

I can hear their sweet siren song now...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 03:12 (twenty years ago)

Hi.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

I hope my life involves batteries and satisfaction tonight. I give it about 50/50.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 04:23 (twenty years ago)

I think I've been a bit too horny for the last three or hour months, because I seem to fall for almost anyone who's cute and nice. For example, just a couple of days ago I drunkenly made out with someone I shoudn't have... Luckily I passed out before anything critical happened.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:05 (twenty years ago)

Code blue! Code blue! We have penetration!

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

I still think I owe her an apology, but I don't have her phone number, just an e-mail address. Is it wrong to apologize through e-mail? I usually think people should have the courage to talk in these situations, but in this case it seems kinda difficult (I can't e-mail her and say "could you give me your number so I can apologize you", can I?)...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:14 (twenty years ago)

Oh my god, I'm at the university library and I just walked into her! But she seemed to be in a hurry and I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just said hi and continued walking, and now I feel even more awkward...

Rule of drunken lewdness, number 1: if you're gonna make out with someone, be sure that someone isn't a person you're going to see on regular basis afterwards. Though I guess the rule is kinda hard to follow, it's not like this hasn't happened before.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:31 (twenty years ago)

I think I'm still talking to myself.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 March 2005 09:03 (twenty years ago)

. . .

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

And?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

Nothing. Teh horn rages on.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

Poor Luna...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:11 (twenty years ago)

It was a no go the other night. It's okay though, the weekend is soon.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:11 (twenty years ago)

I got one of the things I ordered the other day while supposedly shopping for my friend in the mail today at work - and I can't open it. Dud, dud, dud.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

That's what bathrooms are for

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:18 (twenty years ago)

"now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom...with this package....it's it's...presrciption toilet paper...yeah"

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

"...and not a bomb at all."

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

the buzzing? That just means.. um... look, over there!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

Dude, just go manual...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

dear pig-tailed shop assistant in Borders: please, please no more low-rider jeans and restocking the magazine racks. It's been so long - hah, okay, who am I kidding, it hasn't even BEEN yet, that's how horny I am :)

― anonymousvirgin, Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

I did that.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

Just now? Or last night?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:45 (twenty years ago)

Then when isn't important, is it?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

'the'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

Well if you did it now, then you are more of a man than I, as it were. Kudos. If it was last night... well... y'know...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:14 (twenty years ago)

I support you and your decisions and all the hard work you've put into it...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:40 (twenty years ago)

Also, as it is 2 AM, I sympathize with you as I am too old to be cockblocking dudes. But at the same time, your masturbatory options are far cooler than mine, so I only sympantize with you so much. I'm Cosby Number 101: Drunk, tired, horny Cosby.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 07:02 (twenty years ago)

im done getting laid. im getting bored with it.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

fuck you. go and start your own thread or something

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

HA!

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

im still horny but its become a business thing and its not very sexy these days.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

Gosh, the sun is shning, ~~women~~people are flouncing and the smily faces make it very clear that spring is in the air, and my inner Terry Thomas is alive and well.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:51 (twenty years ago)

and i am probably never going to get to have sex ever again. given the microscopic number of partners i've had and the sahara-sized deserts in between, i may as well give up now and become a nun. or just jump off a cliff or something

(it's a good thing i live in an almost completely flat county - there are no decent cliffs for miles. the nearest are in *norfolk*, for god's sake)

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

I should put a sign up in my living room: DO NOT TEASE THE HORN.

When someone says they'll pay me back the money they owe me in sexual favors, is it wrong on my part to NOT assume they're joking?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Nicka I'll pay you back. In RAPE DOLLARS.

― maryjanewatson, Friday, 18 March 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

I'm so glad there is a thread about sex, I was starting to despair in the asexual world of ILX

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

No despairing here, not when I have the people on this thread around.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and hi toraneko! Where you been?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

I was just walking behind some quite nice looking guy who had that great smell, like man mixed with old spice or something, and I just wanted to bite him.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

I've been working! Too much. Also, unless the conversation is about sex or cats, my interest is feigned :-) Not true really, but could be ;

However, I commiserate with the rest of you :-(

Ahh, see, the thing is, ppl give all sorts of advice - like: "play with yourself" or "get a dildo" but what they don't understand is that *this just makes it worse!*

Am I alone on this one or what? Like, if I'm already horny, the worst possible thing I could do, if there's not chance of getting a bit, is to cultivate that feeling.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

Actually, recent research has proven that, for me at least, resigning oneself to masturbatory involuntary celibacy is much easier on the ol' emotions, in terms of keeping the horn manageable, than the unfulfilled promises of satisfaction that you get from the occasional not-particularly-good fuck.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

xpost
So you're saying you rather suppress the horn rather than toot it?

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

See, this is where (okay, one of the many ways) I really envy women. If I attempt to suppress the horn, I end up with icky sheets and incongruous boners when looking at the Land-O-Lakes girl at the grocery and stuff before too long.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, based on my limited experience, sex is functional but not fantastic with someone new - so yeah.

Takes a while to really get into someone. It's not mindblowing until you are familiar with how they look, smell, feel, move & sound.

Aaargh! So obvious I'm a girl, wanting the whole intimacy thing. There's a lot to be said for regular (casual) sex.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

No, I meant to ask if you'd rather suffer the horn rather than masturbate (not fuck, masturbate).

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

So obvious I'm a girl, wanting the whole intimacy thing.

Well, when I'm really hard-up, what I'm fantasizing about is not a dirty quickie that'll make everyone involved feel cheap.

Also, I don't know how bad icky sheets are. Sometimes the best satisfaction you can hope for is to come in your sleep.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, NZA, we're lucky like that.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

Sleep orgasms are fucking EPIC.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Ack xxpost?

I'd rather supress it when I'm really horny (middle of the month = so horny I can't sleep & end up kind of shaking all over - weird hormones) coz to masturbate makes it worse

Any other time: play away!

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:04 (twenty years ago)

Waking up at moment of orgasm = (there is no word for how good this is)

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

mmm hmm.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

It's not the nightsplooges that I mind so much as the uncontrollable, random, often awkwardly-timed hardons.

I would say personal intimacy is integral to good sexing, if only because you need to feel that comfortable with someone to A) let yourself over totally to their, er, workings-on-ya, and B) be able to tell them what you want/be able to embrace what they want. I've really honestly only had sex with like 3 people ever though, all of whom I've known quite well beforehand. I don't really have a lot of insight into making the sex with strangers/acquaintances, so a scientific comparison is pretty hard for me to make at this point.

Analysis of the horn, this is good.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

Damn this warmer weather, uberhot coworker girl is in a sundress today! ARGH

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

See, I only get ragingly horny for people I know, not for people I see on the street and think are hot. But now that I think of it, I'll be at a really good rock show, thinking of no one, and be stricken with the horn. Them there rock n rollin geetars n drums make me wanna. Beer certainly helps, too.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

i have a boner.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

funny cuz im thinking of eating chili.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

I was intrigued by how men were so visually whatever (can't think of the word) and I thought about it so much that now, lo & behold, I am too... It is so cool to just look at a hot chiX0r (or, ahem, man - sometimes, I spose) and get wet!

However, it is cars that really turn me on ;-) I cannot explain how this occurred. Maybe through my fascination with men's fascination with vehicles? Fuck, I don't know.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

Okay. Maybe i should make a new thread for this but I'm suffering from the opposite of the horn right now.

I've got a girl who wants me to come over for an "intimate evening" tonight and i just don't feel like it. I'd have to take a train out of the city and I kinda would just rather stay home and drink with the roommate and her friends. I think it could be because i got stood up wednesday by this girl I was crazy about.

Now that I think about it I'm quite sure it's because of her. The other girls (the one tonight and I have another friend coming over tomorrow) are okay but... i dunno. I just don't really care, one way or the other, about any sort of physical fun with either of them at this point.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

hm. A tough one. Maybe instead of "intimate evening" you could suggest you do something more involved than just... that. Is she a nice girl? Would you like to talk to her more? I mean, no need to sex her right now, but no need to burn bridges, either. Maybe just buy her dinner.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

I dunno. I find that after a certain amount of time without sex or masturbation, the urge just kind of... goes away. Masturbation generally just increases the horn level unnecessarily so it's better to just ignore it.

It's been two months since I had sex, and it's kind of fading to a diminishing memory. Not really troubled by crushes. I don't even really fancy anyone any more. Well, I guess I still kind of feel this kind of... *twinge* of fanciment for the last person. But it's kind of beaten down by neurosis and embarrassment and the wish that I'd handled the whole thing better. Bit of a mood killer.

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

I give up.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

I've been so ill it's been a while since I went out and did any socialising at all. So I guess I'm more *lonely* than horny, technically.

Though "The Lonely Commiseration Thread" would be a sodden pit of misery even I'd be unable to stand, wouldn't it?

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, true!

Maybe instead of "intimate evening" you could suggest you do something more involved than just... that
Well, I like her okay. I don't really think she's right for any sort of long term committed relationship tho. But if I drag my ass all the way out there I damn well better get some sex'n. My problem is that i should be looking forward to the prospect but it feels like more of a chore right now. I mean i'm considering staying in, drinking and maybe playing some CIV instead! Over sex! With no strings attached! That just shouldn't be!

Maybe I'm just getting old.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

GO OVER AND GET A BLOWJOB INSTEAD.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

Oh, for pity's sake. Just give the girl a little lovin'. She likes you! Go be sweet to her.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

I think i will do both .

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

between seeing luna's pic from the underwear thread and not understanding at all how it can be the least bit difficult for her to get some and then reading thermo's post about sex with a girl as a 'chore', i begin to realize... FFS ppl there is no hope!!

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

FYI, I would be more than delighted to help Luna out with her problem, were it within the scope of my power!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:06 (twenty years ago)

aaw

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

ILX wants to fuck Luna. Alert the media.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:18 (twenty years ago)

Actually, no... keep it in the closet.

http://www.neverland-valley.com/neverland-valley/video-clips/videos/07_dangerous/in-the-closet/pix/itc_013.jpg

There's somethin' about you, baby, that makes me want to give it to you.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

Though "The Lonely Commiseration Thread" would be a sodden pit of misery even I'd be unable to stand, wouldn't it?

The Lonely Commiseration Thread

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

zing!

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

commiserations.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

http://www.yanmarmarine.com/img/bg_home_parel.gif

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

Mmmmmmm organic...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

Awww, you guys...

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

I never realized how much the inside of an oyster shell resembles the glistening beauty that is the inside of a hoo-ha.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

A what? OH! You mean a CHA-CHA!

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

Everything about an oyster, right down to the taste, resembles a hoo-ha. It's an amazing, amazing food.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

Are you more of a lemon or shallot vinaigrette kind of guy, Kenan?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

Tabasco.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

Seriously ... wtf, Thermo? If you're going to be that way then send the ones you don't want over to me :)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

Yes, Yes. Bring us the wenches. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eye -- strip her naked and bring her to me.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

I have this very unfortunate image in my head now of someone about to go down on a girl and contemplating the condiment choices. Something tells me she might not appreciate tabasco...

xpost

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

http://www.luckymojo.com/cornocrown.gif

BEHOLD: TEH ITALIAN HORN

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.afgrant.com/images/kissonline/blood5.jpg

BEHOLD, GENE SIMMONS GOT THE SCRATCH FOR YR ITCH

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Oh fuck.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

Looks like he overdid it on the Tabasco there.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

(Or maybe he was trying to look more gangsta.)

(BTW -- this thread is no longer horny. More oysters, plz.)

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

How about some orchids instead?
http://www.peruvianorchids.org/peocx1712.gif

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

http://www.cyberpathway.com/art/lane/okeef.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

(beat me to it)

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

http://www.lib.utexas.edu/geo/BalconesEscarpment/oysters.gif

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

http://www.completesite.com/cbweekly%5Cimages/12682444image.JPG

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

This thread is no longer horny again.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

It's a long thread, what's it about?

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

It shouldn't be this much of a struggle to keep it alive.

Here. This should about do it.

http://giganticmag.com/images/pic1b.gif

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Suggesting tabasco in the oysters-as-poontangs metaphor, not sexy.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

classique

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

That's an intriguing picture.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Hot diggity.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.tragsnart.co.uk/arthub/okeeffe/okeeffe03.jpg

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

That's a suggestive picture.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

It's an iris!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

http://www.taschen.com/media/images/270/ecard_kroll_01.jpg

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000025OR.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

Somehow, 'hot diggidy'is the perfect response to teh lesbians. The same can't be said for Loverboy, because loverboy has always sucked.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I know. Sorry.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

Luna's pic...I'm suddenly taken by an...overWHELMing urge...to visit...a GARden.

― Christopher Walken (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.soft-fetish.com/slip1.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

dammit

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

I shall now dump a tray of icecubes down my pants. Thank you.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

http://home.cuffs.com/sasha/galleries/vintage_galleries-20/tn_perversity-01_jpg.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

http://www.aladisposition.com/images/press/press_takashimaya_photo.gif

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

oh my.

I am having a hard time gauging how much luna likes to sex the ladies. I've never asked.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

http://www.katespinups.com/photos/bettie_1/betty92.jpg

Classic for a reason

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks AND BITCHES (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

this thread makes it so so much worse. i hate you all.

― ()ops (()()ps), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jenten.com/gammel/bilder/vargas11.jpg

Embrace it...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks AND BITCHES (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

I am having a hard time gauging how much luna likes to sex the ladies. I've never asked.

I like it.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

I guess we could start posting pics of roadkill and overweight seniors - but who really wants that?

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Wo doesn't!

x-post

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

"Who," obviously.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

http://history.acusd.edu/gen/WW2Pics5/bettygrable01.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

Your 50's subservient bubbly types bore me.

ihttp://www.libri.de/shop/coverscans/131/1319549_4294300_xl.jpg

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

http://members.aye.net/~gharris/blog/legup.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

But you can SEE my subservient 50's types!

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

But do they like it in the ass, that's the real question.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

http://www.dating-tips-and-pick-up-lines.com/images/leather_fetish.gif

Better?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks And LEATHER SLUTS (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

http://www.kittenstoyroom.com/leather_wear/images/index_06.jpg

ILX, in a nutshell.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks And LEATHER SLUTS (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

Now you're talkin'.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

In a strange way, the outfits the 50's girls are in are more sadistic than leather straps and buckles.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

PUSSYWHIPPED! I GET IT HAHAAHAHAAHA!

― Remy (octodog.com) (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

err, that was a little insincere. sorry.

― Remy (octodog.com) (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

You like it and you know it.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

http://www.beesign.at/falten/view/heroines/schlumpfine.jpg

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

I can't believe you thought to look for that.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

I'd hit it.

― Remy [(X+Y)(X+Y)= X^2 + 2XY + Y^2] (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:10 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.beesign.at/falten/superheldinnen.html

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:11 (twenty years ago)

http://www.beesign.at/falten/view/heroines/spider2.jpg

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

ok, I'm unsettled.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

Only now? THAT WAS SMURFETTE UP THERE

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

wrapped in latex, apparently, yeah. But at least she didn't have vagi-claws.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

Enough with the freaky pictures - more of the sexing.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

sorry, in searching for Sorayama art I found those crazy things and had to share. here's some sexy Sorayama:
http://esquisse.free.fr/Filles/sorayama/images/sora_045.jpg
http://esquisse.free.fr/Filles/sorayama/images/sora_015.jpg
ihttp://www.ibiblio.org/ulysses/gec/painting/sorayama/hajime1.jpg
ihttp://web.tiscali.it/puntonetonline/hot/SOR14.JPG

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:37 (twenty years ago)

I shall leave you today by assaulting your senses and your sexes wwith Ellen Von Unwerth and Helmut Newton. You've all been great. PEACE OUT!

http://soulcatcherstudio.com/images/unwerth_book_images/Unwerth_5.jpg

http://a.relaunch.focus.de/img/gen/G/K/HBGKA1NaqTo_Pxgen_rc_400xA,400xA+0+0.jpg

http://www.mekka.com/log/images/helmut_women.jpg

http://www.artfacts.net/exhibpics/14470.jpg

http://www.lesbonet.org/galeria/albums/Ellen_Von_Unwerth/02_g.gif

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

http://members.lycos.co.uk/fantastygaleria/galleries/Hajime_Sorayama/h_sorayama029.jpg

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

I felt like a douche when I saw the image of those two girls making out upthread and my reaction was 'OOH CIGARETTES'

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://members.lycos.co.uk/fantastygaleria/galleries/Hajime_Sorayama/h_sorayama037.jpg

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

Drawings of naked women do nothing whatsoever for me.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

all this and shamelessly flirting with someone online (okay, she might turn out to be a 40year old man in his parents' basement, but damn, she's good) — MASSIVE HORN.

*retreats to consider his options - to wank or not to wank*

― carson dial (carson dial), Friday, 18 March 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

Wank.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

I cannot stand that Sorayama guy.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 23:14 (twenty years ago)

Not much for me either but I bet drawing them is fun.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 18 March 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

ahahahah alright, enjoy your co-misery. adieu

http://www.eros-guide.com/articles/2003-06-10/stockings/stockings4.jpg

― amon (eman), Friday, 18 March 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

xpost -

I wholeheartedly endorse luna and her advice…

― carson dial (carson dial), Saturday, 19 March 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

Well hell, I did it, I could hardly tell someone else not to.

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 19 March 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

I love how we used to flirt shamelessly on Fridays and now we talk smut and advise each other to wank. It feels like we've come so far...

― M. White (Miguelito), Saturday, 19 March 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

http://www.zona10.com.mx/autores/Helmut_Newton/images/nw-03_jpg.jpg

http://www.zona10.com.mx/autores/Helmut_Newton/images/nw-24_jpg.jpg

http://www.zona10.com.mx/autores/Helmut_Newton/images/nw-26_jpg.jpg

ihttp://usemycomputer.com/indeximages/2004/February/monica.bellucci.index.5.small2.jpg

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Saturday, 19 March 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

http://grampaslap.com/images/shag/diego.jpg

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Saturday, 19 March 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

http://freespace.virgin.net/slampiece.inc/5/images/ewan&jon.jpg

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Saturday, 19 March 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

I agree with the sleep deprivation hypothesis.
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), September 29th, 2004 3:10 PM. (jaymc) (link)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Er, yeah.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

Man, am I glad that everyone else from my office has gone home!

Oh dear lord... that Ewan and Jonathan slash photo. I can't take it. HOTTEST THING EVER.

::fans self::

― Win A Lie-Down, Mrs. Davies (kate), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

so y'all are horny, huh

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

Hi.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I think I may just be tired, for once.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

Not really horny. Just overtired. And well... everything seems sexual right now.

― Win A Lie-Down, Mrs. Davies (kate), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

That's what I'm getting at, Mandee.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

Nope, all those David Caruso photos just killed my clit-on. Phew.

― Win A Lie-Down, Mrs. Davies (kate), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

Oh who does it surprise that I'm posting here again? NO ONE, THAT'S WHO.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

We. Are. All. HORNDOGS!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

I'm really quite horny at the moment; I'm at the stage where you start looking at your coworkers with a certain eye. Of course this isn't helped at all by the fact that many of my coworkers are cute student girls...

I miss having a fuck buddy.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

ME TOO.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

Christ, someone send me dirty email please.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

It surprises the baby Jesus!

xpost to Lunars

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

This was really my finest hour.

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:37 (twenty years ago)

beesign.at!! good god

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Luna, I tried to send you a dirty email, but failed miserably.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

Failed in sending it or in writing it?

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

i look at almost every man in THAT way

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

With disdain?

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 18 August 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

Ladies and gentlemen of the scientific community, I trust I need not elaborate on the unlikelitude of a member of the ursus horibilis species being able to shave its own pubic area. And to those here tonight who may think otherwise and have gone to the media propounding your cockamamie theories, I suggest you open your grade school science textbooks to the section marked Opposable Thumbs.

― Dr. Camby, Thursday, 18 August 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

Okay, I sent you another mail, Luna. That was the first time I've written an erotic story to anyone.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

I hope my language didn't suck, it's kinda hard to try to be erotic with a foreign tongue.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

Luna deflowers yet another young buck.

― ComMISERABLE ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

Haha, after having read my own story I feel a bit ashamed now.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

Dude, we've seen you in much more compromising positions... literaly! I'm sure you'll cause Luna much delight.

― Underwear ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

B-b-but I'm not ashamed of my body!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

some of us quite appreciated those pics. that sounds creepy. it's just complimentary though.

― juliaaa, Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

Oh dear, I'm blushing here.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

Everyone please send me naked photos, okthxbye.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

here you go, jaymc:

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=naked%20photos&hl=en&hs=I9U&lr=&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&sa=N&tab=wi

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

that is helpful, rjg, thank you.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

What the hell is this?!

http://www.nigelholton.com/images/Film%20Gallery/images/Naked-Souls.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

you've sullied this thread, i fear.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

I'm at the stage where you start looking at your coworkers with a certain eye

i call this stage "being at work"

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

That's just one of the pics from RJG's link... But the film seems to be real, here's the plot summary from IMDb:

Edward is busy trying to unlock the secrets of reading and recording people's thoughts. He is very involved with his work leaving little room for girlfriend Britt. Longstreet comes along and offers Edward a place to do his research and have unlimited funding. There are, however, ulterior motives as Edward is also somehow unlocking the secrets of eternal life.

Holy shit!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

this is getting out of control now.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

have a cold shower

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

i am at work.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

go and wash your hands

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

good idea.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

didn't work.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

call a plumber

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

pour cold water down your pants

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Or sit on ice cubes! It might work!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

All that's gonna do it make the wetspot bigger, silly.

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

Guys don't get a wet spot!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

Good point. But they wouldn't be able to tell what was what!

Though I suppose having people think you wet your pants is (a) not sexy at all, and (b) not the image you want to project at work as it won't garner much respect if your co-workers are over the age of 18 months.

NEW PLAN.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

Was referring to the ladies; I could care less about teh dudeage.

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

i would like to know, what it feels like to be horny all day

someone describe

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

sticky

― Hel-loƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

You start staring at things you shouldn't stare.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

Or sit on ice cubes! It might work!

I'm not sure, at this point, I want it to "work."

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

It's sometimes such exqusite torture, Mandee.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

I don't want it to work either, nor was I entirely clear about how I'd sit on those ice cubes...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

would it get someone hot if i told them i got chipotle-flavored mayonnaise on my cardigan over lunch? it's left a stain.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

is the cardigan blue?

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

and were you eating on the floor?

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

the cardigan is blue!!

i was eating on a leather chair!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

meh.

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

Change the cardigan to a bustier, and we're in business.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

sounds like an illegal one

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

Nonsense.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

i volunteer to be a silent partner. or a vocal one, really

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

ok i was hoping it would be an illegal one

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

She called me up today
Meet me down at the old café
I jumped into the shower
I was getting my marching orders

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of overtime
Say, my place at nine?

She gave me some dictation
But my strength is in administration
I took down all she said
I even took down her little red dress

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I’m going to give you the job
I’m pushing for a raise
I’ve been pushing now for days

I’m a slave to work
I’m only living when I walk amongst the office staff
And catch up with the office wag
I’ll be in bed by nine
My curtains drawn
My thoughts composed
I get to work on time

She’d never stand for any lies
She’s got an Out Tray full of guys
I could sense a breath, a whole new feeling
Now she says she wants to call a meeting

I’ve got to change my ways
Dress for business every day
A smart suit and a kipper tie
A big arrow pointing to my fly

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of better pay
Can you start today?

My output is in decline
I was burned out after Thatcher
My banner I laid down with a sigh
Now I doubt if I’ll ever catch her

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

i call bullshit on that sleep deprivation hypothesis. (though i do have a headache too so that could be partly responsible)

― joseph (joseph), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

seriously, this is the first time in about a month where i haven't wanted to hump anything that walks and i got about three hours of sleep last night. COINCIDENCE???!?!/!//

― joseph (joseph), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

I don't know, I mean, everyone's different. I had no idea until this thread that it affected other guys, too. All I'm saying is two hours of sleep last night, too horny to even concentrate today.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway and lack of sleep just exacerbates this condition*

*i'm honestly not sure

― joseph (joseph), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

Jaymc should go home and watch M*A*S*H* and then give it a rating out of 5.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

I told you, Adam, I hate ratings.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

you gave M*A*S*H four stars when it should only have three, adam

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

you're right. I just imagined a world where you didn't point that out to me and I almost choked on my honey roasted nuts.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

That takes a certain talent, n'est-ce pas?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

did you know that I was making a ratings related joke? I hope so

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

Guys don't get a wet spot!
Not unless you cream your jeans. Although it's more of a sticky situation than anything.

Mandee, when I'm horny all day, it feels like my hormones are stabbing my pancreas. It's violent. Sometimes I want to double over.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 18 August 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway

Oh god, this is so true it's not funny. Sigh.

― Win A Lie-Down, Mrs. Davies (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 06:56 (twenty years ago)

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway

Awh, Kate. This reminds me of a gag I heard, but it's a joke for boys: Get one of those condoms that's got anaesthetic lubricant for extra 'performa'nce and wear it inside out. That way, you don't need to wake anybody up...

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 07:38 (twenty years ago)

Eurgh, that's sick!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

I am boggling at condoms designed to give the wearer *less* pleasure.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

i rubbed one out this morning at 4am to a skinemax cheap porno.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

sweet. i just slept for 11 hours, so hopefully i'll be all good today.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 11:47 (twenty years ago)

I am boggling at condoms designed to give the wearer *less* pleasure.

I assume they're designed specially for men who cum on the first stroke.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

(so they probably *do* increase the amount of pleasure had by the couple as a whole)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

http://altura.speedera.net/ccimg.catalogcity.com/200000/204700/204700/Products/5679554.jpg

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

Someday I will have sex again. Maybe. I hope.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

Maybe we could start an ILX0r sex exchange!

And get done for prostitution. Maybe not.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

uhh, is that condom box saying that you use de-sensitizing condoms to achieve 50 SECONDS OF PLEASURE? not very ambitious...

― scout (scout), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

aww, william.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

I don't think that's a clockface--it's a speedometer

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

oh, wait, it is a speedometer

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

im not horny today for sex, im horny for a good cuddle

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

Mandee, I am cuddling with you right now, in my mind.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

I thought it was a dB / VU type sound meter. Ach well.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

im not horny today for sex, im horny for a good cuddle

i know that feeling

― stelf)xxx, Friday, 19 August 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

I assume they're designed specially for men who cum on the first stroke

I've actually tried these, not specifically because I'm the sort of man who cums on the first stroke, but because I was drunk at the 24 hour shop and it was like *swaying in front of counter* gimmie some of those *points* - needless to say I was too drunk to read or care about the small print.

I can't really report on their anaesthetic effect as there was so much alcohol in my system at the time. On the way back from the shop I fell off my bike and bashed up my elbow really good. This naturally didn't stop me using the condoms but it did mean I woke up with the bed covered in blood, amplifying that dirrty "WTF happened? - ah, great night" moment.

Curiously the monitor in front of me has lots of condoms around it which have been sent to my work as a promo. Instead of being lubricated with anaesthetic they are lubricated with "warm sensations", which I'm hopefully assuming is a very mild form of deep heat.

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

Someday I will have sex again. Maybe. I hope.

I say this to myself all the time.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

Girls go crazy for a shaved pubes bear

― Bob Dobolina, Friday, 19 August 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

All l did last night was dream about sex. I'm going mental with the horn right now.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 19 August 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

Girls go crazy for a shaved pubes bear

Um, what?

― Je4nne ƒur¥ should buy one (Je4nne Fury), Friday, 19 August 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

sweet. i just slept for 11 hours, so hopefully i'll be all good today.

i got an adequate amount of sleep last night, so i'm left to assume a correlation between wakefulness and horndoggyness on my part.

i guess it doesn't help that i spend most of my workday having to look at some nude/mostly nude bodies.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

Umm, what is your job, Joseph?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

Also for some reason, I was fine until a few minutes ago.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

i work in a library.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

Erm... what kind of library, exactly?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

I wonder why?

Lack of sleep never makes a difference for me.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:35 (twenty years ago)

the head of the sub-library where i work is keen to get anything relating to downtown nyc in our dept. (even moreso if they happen to be gay/lesbian materials), so i'm processing the first fifteen or so years of the mix festival's videos/paper files. and naturally, in the zillions of press clippings and photo stills therein, there's a whoooooole lotta ribaldry goin' on, so i really can't NOT think of sex when i'm working.

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:51 (twenty years ago)

Joseph, did I mention I was bi?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

i believe you did

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

Oh dear.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

I have become a caricature, haven't I?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

YAYYY ILX!

(i think i come across as more of a caricature on these boards than you do anyway) (or so i think)

― joseph (joseph), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

(I've got you both beat)

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 19 August 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

Which library do you work at, Joseph?

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 20 August 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

Gee, ILx is horny . . .I miss so much while I'm away.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Saturday, 20 August 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

mary - i work at b0bst, actually! (and within b0bst, the fa1es library)

― joseph (joseph), Saturday, 20 August 2005 05:56 (twenty years ago)

ps i'm drunk so COMMISERATION NOWWWWWWWWWW

― joseph (joseph), Saturday, 20 August 2005 06:11 (twenty years ago)

Le horn. Le sigh.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 20 August 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Le sbian ménage à trois?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 20 August 2005 13:35 (twenty years ago)

Joseph--oh cool! I did my MA at NYU and studied once at Fales--but I felt like I had to treat the book they gave with kid gloves! That's sounds like a cool project they have you working on.

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 20 August 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

Man, more of the same last night :/

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

> oh, wait, it is a speedometer

it says rpms x 10 (possibly x100) which isn't strictly a speedometer, more like angular velocity. um, sexual perfomance measured in rpm? curious. sounds like that film i once saw...

― koogs (koogs), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

(Inches of boner per hour)x10

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:30 (twenty years ago)

THIS IS YUO GUYS HAHA

http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg
http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg
http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg http://coudformation.tripod.com/clothmother059.jpg

― joseph pot (STINKOR™), Saturday, 20 August 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

"Sex behavior was, for all practical purposes, destroyed; sexual posturing was commonly stereotyped and infantile. Frequently when an isolate [surrogate-raised] female was approached by a normal male, she would sit unmoved, squatting upon the floor -- a posture in which only her heart was in the right place. Contrariwise, an isolate male might approach an in-estrus female, but he might clasp the head instead of the hind legs, and then engage in pelvic thrusts. Other isolate males grasped the female's body laterally, whereby all sexual efforts left them working at cross purposes with reality."

― joseph pot (STINKOR™), Sunday, 21 August 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

hornee still

― even still ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Sunday, 21 August 2005 02:05 (twenty years ago)

me too, sweetpants

― luna (luna.c), Sunday, 21 August 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

oh.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 21 August 2005 06:52 (twenty years ago)

Honk the horn.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 00:26 (twenty years ago)

toot toot.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 22 August 2005 06:31 (twenty years ago)

No kiddin.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 August 2005 07:10 (twenty years ago)

That's what wanks are for.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 07:11 (twenty years ago)

I'm trying to remember if I used to randomly shoehorn comments about sex into conversations/threads when I *was* actually getting laid.

But then again, I suspect I did, so it's not just a function of the horn. I hope.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

(That said, last night I was sitting around after the gig and three different people at the table (including myself) were complaining about their lack of sex, and about how all our blogs had just become monologues whinging about not getting any sex. See, this is the problem, that when you start blogging, you automatically become emo. Because in the old days, when I did Have Sex, I probably would have just suggested that we go off and have a threesome or something and kill three birds with one stone. But no, I just wrote about it on the interweb instead.)

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

Oops, I did it again.

Is there anything or any topic that I cannot figure out how to make into some kind of horn-inducing situation?

(Please do not feel the need to test that theory.)

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

Well, it's okay for this thread.

I had a sex dream about a friend of mine who's nine years my senior. It was scandalous.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

Argh Kate I may only have met you a couple of times and no doubt I... erm, rubbed you up the wrong way, but... I cannot believe you've got trouble finding someone, how you say, hott enough to play with. Maybe you're not looking for playmates in the right places at the moment?

Playing is easy... or perhaps that should be, soft. Love is hard... or perhaps that should be, hell.

Ah, Kitchens Of Distinction *sigh*

― angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

You didn't rub me up the wrong way - I was just tired and cranky and not really in the mood for being out in public the first time we met. Don't worry about it - I actually wanted to apologise for being so bad-tempered. (Emsk is used to it so no longer takes it personally.)

I think the problem is that I don't really know *what* I want. Being an Old Lady, I think I should want to Be In A Proper Relationship and I just can't be hassled with the whole casual thing. But on the other hand, I'm too burned out to be in a relationship and even the idea just gives me a vague feeling of dis-ease in the pit of my stomach like I'm going to do a sick.

But on the other hand... boys with pointy noses and bushy sideburns. Sigh.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

Actually, you know what? Sometimes I'm not even sure if I want sex at all. I just want to whinge about not getting sex.

(9 times out of 10 wanking is actually more satisfying physically than casual sex anyway. It's just when you want to be, you know, naked and holding someone.)

Anyway, I will shut up now because I'm boring myself.

Captain Anderson, la la la la la la laaaa.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Yes. Never mind the orgasms; not being able to kiss and cuddle in bed is the worst part of being single.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

I'm trying to figure out whether or not I have a crush on a friend that a mutual friend keeps trying to convince me I should hook up with.

I'm not sure if I do have a crush, and I'm trying to talk myself out of it, or if I don't have a crush and I'm trying to talk myself into it. If I'm feeling that ambivalent about the whole thing, it's probably not a good idea anyway.

(Of course, knowing him and knowing me, we'd never get around to actually having sex, and just sit around all night talking about theoretical physics and playing with each others' effects pedals.)

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

Shoot me.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

"effects pedals" would actually be a rather good euphemism for genitalia. They make you make funny noises, after all.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

I knew you would say that.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

I'm nothing if not predictable

(I could even have logged out and you'd still have known I was going to say it)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 22 August 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

I was just tired and cranky

OK. You have no idea what my fevered brain made of it at the time... well, actually you probably do. I owe you an apology too... but let's draw a veil over that if we can.

Never mind the orgasms

...we're the tantric pistols. I've gotten quite interested in the idea that we have a chemical hangover from orgasms. Apparently it takes a couple of weeks to really kick in...

I'm trying to figure out whether or not I have a crush

Having a crush on someone's a pretty crap reason to actually try to get with them anyway, innit? I mean, it's gonna wear off...

― angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

I've gotten quite interested in the idea that we have a chemical hangover from orgasms.

I dunno about that, but Oxytocin is definitely addictive. I mean, that's the whole point of it! And why you feel so crap when you break up with someone/stop having sex.

Having a crush on someone's a pretty crap reason to actually try to get with them anyway, innit?

What other reason *is* there to get with someone? Sure, you should have stuff in common with them, and enjoy their company and all that. But if you don't have a crush on them, why bother getting with them? Why not just be their friend?

(I think if I have to give it this much thought, I probably don't have a crush on this person. Or perhaps I'm still just mangled.)

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

Actually, that said, if I were to have casual sex with someone, it would probably be better if I *didn't* have a crush on them.

I mean, how do you go about *doing* that? How do you kind of approach a friend and say "hey, would you mind terribly if we had casual sex? I think it might be a good idea for both of us."

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

No, this is a terrible idea and can only lead to badness.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:24 (twenty years ago)

That's what wanks are for.

In good times
And bad times
I will rub one out because I'm bored
That's what wanks are for

― The Ghost of Dionne Warwick (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I will now go home and rifle my room for fan fiction, Barbara Cartland's Love At The Helm, old issues of Country Life and any other wank-fantasy-material I can lay my hands on. Hurrah! That's that sorted, then.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

What other reason *is* there to get with someone?

I kinda agree... and I kinda don't. Like, if you've got a crush and it's serious, you're basically temporarily mad, so you've gotta do something about it. But whatever that is, it's generally idiotic. This is all in the wrong thread...

I also think chemical responses ain't any path to real happiness.

― angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

What *is* happiness but a chemical response, really?

Honestly... I know I'm coked to the gills on SSRIs lately, but really.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

Now we're getting into the realms of philosophy. I've had my time on SSRIs too, aw Kate. It's strange the way chemical and enviromental factors combine to influence your mood. It's not one thing or the other...

― angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

I HATE YOU DAN FOR THE IMAGE IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.

― Gag ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Monday, 22 August 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

(a winner is me)

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 August 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

Playing is easy... or perhaps that should be, soft. Love is hard... or perhaps that should be, hell.

Ah, Kitchens Of Distinction *sigh*

Indeed. They bring a whole new meaning to Kate's mention of effects pedals, too!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

After all, no-one used effects pedals quite like (or as well as) Julian Swales did.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 August 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

Yeeeeeeah!!! I saw KoD loads in the early ninties and interviewed 'em once. Used to love em! The sounds that guy got out of his gittah were un-feckin-believable. Shimmering waterfalls of sound.

And... the first time we opened the capsule, everything went...

― angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

Oh I give up.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 August 2005 18:11 (twenty years ago)

off to the convent?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 August 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

whooops! it was the third time we opened the capsule that everything went...

― angle of dateh, Monday, 22 August 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

IAN DID YOU SEE MY POST ABOUT YMA SUMAC PLAYING IN FLORIDA IN OCTOBER?!?!?!

― I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Monday, 22 August 2005 22:22 (twenty years ago)

Horny to guitar pedals in ten posts... oh no, we scared Luna off.

I had Kitchens of Distinctions CDs at one point, but my brother kept nicking them. Strange, because he hated all my other space/drone/shoegazer stuff. (Except maybe the Cocteau Twins whose records he also kept nicking.)

Did not wank last night. Watched CSI:BBC until I fell asleep.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 06:42 (twenty years ago)

I've been masturbating pretty furiously lately, but only out of boredom. Well, and I guess for the orgasms, because having one is usually better than not. But you really do get diminishing returns from wanking all the time. I need to save it for a couple of days for maximum gooeyness next time.

Also, looking at pictures of naked women sometimes does nothing to improve my mood. I came across a picture the other day that just killed me -- it was a woman's neck and shoulder. No tits, no ass, neck and shoulder. I wanted to kiss it so bad it was almost physically painful.

I did go over to the ex's apartment tonight and she hugged me a lot and sat in my lap through The Daily Show, and she smelled nice, and that should be enough to hold me for a few days.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 07:28 (twenty years ago)

How could your brother not like Spacemen 3? I'm assuming you were a big fan of Sonic and co...

I am having attacks of remorse at my idiotic attitude towards you recently, Kate. They pass but anyway, sorry.

I'm not wanking either. Paunchy, can I humbly suggest - don't do it so much. Focus your energies elsewhere.

― angle of dateh, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 08:28 (twenty years ago)

Hmmm... not wanking but posting. Sounds like a Stevie Smith poem.

Nobody heard him, the bored man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was spending too much time on ilx
And not wanking but posting.

Poor dog, he always loved barking
And now he's bored.
They must have been too bold for him his balls gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too bold always
(Still the bored one lay moaning)
I stayed in all my life
Not wanking but posting.

― angle of dateh, Tuesday, 23 August 2005 10:02 (twenty years ago)

amazon is here for you

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

You can get anything on amazon now, huh?

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

Man, I had more stupid dreams last night grrrr

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 23 August 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

"..."

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 24 February 2006 00:48 (nineteen years ago)

agreed

― ai lien (kold_krush), Friday, 24 February 2006 03:19 (nineteen years ago)

Two words. Bed death.

*sigh*

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 24 February 2006 03:26 (nineteen years ago)

hot weather has brought out the hott girls. they're everywhere and you can't touch them! aaaargh!!

― destroye's noobies (haitch), Friday, 24 February 2006 04:55 (nineteen years ago)

three years pass...

http://www.freewebs.com/kattmatt/Pan_Horned_God.jpg

― it's darn and ielle is hot (and what), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:12 (sixteen years ago)

oh jesus wow

this is a dark day for gershy's reputation

― I want sprinkles (country matters), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:14 (sixteen years ago)

http://please.leisuretown.us/dilhole/images/d003.jpg

― it's darn and ielle is hot (and what), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:14 (sixteen years ago)

would like to see more dilbert/jerkcity hybrid plz

― obi don quixote (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:17 (sixteen years ago)

http://please.leisuretown.us/dilhole.html

― it's darn and ielle is hot (and what), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:18 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.jerkcity.com/jerkcity3658.gif

― cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:23 (sixteen years ago)

the phrase "after the jump" grates on me for some reason

― pro bowl was fun (omar little), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:25 (sixteen years ago)

yeah i think the first time i really noticed it was when i was readinClick for more!

― it's darn and ielle is hot (and what), Tuesday, 24 February 2009 19:27 (sixteen years ago)