When was the last time someone tried to pick you up?

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And how did s/he go about it, and what happened?

― squooshed, Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:40 (twenty years ago)

We were both drunk.

Many things happened.

I made this thread: Stupid Things you've Done While Drunk

― djdee (djdee2005), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:42 (twenty years ago)

hm, yeah. never.

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:43 (twenty years ago)

in Lenscrafters. he kept trying to make chit chat. "They sure do have some nice glasses here, huh?" "Do you know the area well?" NOOOOOOOoooo. dude no. okay? I attempted to ignore him because I WAS TRYING ON GLASSES. after like, five more pairs, he finally gave up.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:46 (twenty years ago)

that's the last time i noticed anyway.

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:46 (twenty years ago)

Some guy doing market research a couple of days ago.

― kate/baby loves headrub (papa november), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

When someone you consider out-of-your-league makes advances on you, you are often either oblivious, in subconscious denial, or just too freaked out to recognize it. This (supposedly) happened to me a few weeks ago with a girl I've liked from afar for a couple of years.

― Aaron A., Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

This has never happened to me.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:49 (twenty years ago)

Probably in Denver. So uh, two years ago...people seemed to approach me there like nowhere else ever. I've been told by my mom that I radiate (unintentionally!) an "aura of disdain." Anyway this guy with long hair and a plaid shirt started talking to me at this club night and ended by asking me out and telling me I was "really spiritually beautiful." I shot him down.

― sgs (sgs), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:49 (twenty years ago)

Juggling at the Oxford Jewish Society Ball (they have still not payed me, grr). "My friend wants to dance with you". I was all "I am staff! I am at y'all's command!". I sorta danced awkwardly with them and escaped when the song ended.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 5 March 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

aaron a. is correct

except for the "subconcious" part

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 5 March 2005 05:45 (twenty years ago)

i think i project an aura of glumness

and we know nothing's sexier than glumness

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 5 March 2005 05:53 (twenty years ago)

wok of shame

I was sitting on my friends' balcony having a cigarette and my friend gave me a peck on the cheek. It went from there into one of those awful drunken hookups that goes on all night and takes forever to conclude in the sleep

― noway@jay.dub (ex machina), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:00 (twenty years ago)

wok of shame

― noway@jay.dub (ex machina), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:04 (twenty years ago)

january 2002.

i had been djing upstairs at the khyber and was attempting to hail a taxi. there i was, with my crates of records, when i was approached by this fairly attractive guy. "nice outfit," he said and i realized we were both wearing jean jackets & pants and adidas. i laughed and after a short discussion about records [he was playing downstairs], we exchanged email addresses.

flash forwards to a couple months later, when he emailed me, seemingly out of the blue from his tour. we wrote back and forth, back and forth and when he returned, we finally went on a date. it was definately one of the best dates ive ever had. he'd show up at the record store where id work unexpected, and not long after all of the courting, we were dating.

it lasted only a month -- he said that he couldnt be in a relationship and needed his space. i was crushed. in fact, i think it might be one of the few times i've actually cried over a guy. he went onto dating other people until he ran out of options in town and moved to nyc.

i remember one particular show, when we were dating, where he unveiled a new song that was about wanting his ex girlfriend back, wrapped up in a bow for christmas. it made me feel sick and unwanted, to this day i cant listen to his songs without feeling something sad. because of him, i no longer date musicians.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:22 (twenty years ago)

Hey maria, we're not all bad! Only the singer/songwriters.

― moley (moley), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:30 (twenty years ago)

oh, i dont date musicians for other reasons either, mainly because i book shows. i consider it poor taste to sleep with my business.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:34 (twenty years ago)

OK Col now I have a horrible image of you as Conor Oberst, for the love of god please kill me.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:36 (twenty years ago)

We must punish Col for this projection of himself. It causes sorrow.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:39 (twenty years ago)

I will top myself immediately.

― moley (moley), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:41 (twenty years ago)

heh noooo!

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:43 (twenty years ago)

I promise, I'll never pike again!

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:44 (twenty years ago)

Indeed, no death. You are to stay alive until koala tacos are mass-marketed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 March 2005 06:44 (twenty years ago)

Colin Oberst:

http://www.smh.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1026898867206_2002/07/18/ent_chopper_lead.jpg

― moley (moley), Saturday, 5 March 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

Needless to say, no-one's ever tried to pick me up - except other men who look like that of course. Oh and the occasional pissed woman in her 40's.

― moley (moley), Saturday, 5 March 2005 07:08 (twenty years ago)

i remember one particular show, when we were dating, where he unveiled a new song that was about wanting his ex girlfriend back

Just learn to avoid the emo boys!

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 5 March 2005 07:16 (twenty years ago)

after a show about 2yrs ago, there was this totally cute girl. her guy friend kept looking at me and pointing at her, trying to motion for me to talk to her. finally he tried to introduce the two of us and i said, "uh, you're totally cute and i'm totally flattered, but my fiance is sitting right there."

― JaXoN Hole (JasonD), Saturday, 5 March 2005 07:57 (twenty years ago)

Ned, Thom said if you gave me one *odd* look, you're dead. haha He's such a sweetie. :-) I really can't remember the last time a guy tried to pick me up. I make sure they know I'm in a relationship - which is not difficult since I wear a wedding band. I have (sub)zero interest in other guys anyway.

― nathalie barefoot in the head (stevie nixed), Saturday, 5 March 2005 08:21 (twenty years ago)

I can barely remember. I often don't notice it anyway, to be honest. I think we are talking 2002, sadly. A line like "Come back to my place and fuck me" is unsubtle enough for even me to take the hint. Outcome: I went back to her place and fucked her.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 5 March 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, the most recent case I can clearly remember was this girl from my feminist history class last autumn; however, at the time I was completely enchanted by the Icelandic girl on the same class (that story is told elsewhere on ILE). Maybe I wouldn't even have noticed her attempts, but my friend who's much better at picking up signals was in the same class, and she told me the girl was trying to hit on me - she kept choosing a seat next to me, trying to chat up with me, etc. But as I said my attention was elsewhere, plus the girl reminded me too much of an ex, so mostly I just ignored her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 5 March 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

At The Spy's birthday party, in January. It was just such a horrible, clumsy, drunk-guy-by-the-bar pickup as well. I can't even remember what he said. I was almost insulted by his trite and hackneyed attempt. I told him I was there with my boyfriend and fled back to The Spy, who thought it was hilarious. Sigh.

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Saturday, 5 March 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

No, wait I think there's a more recent example, it happened only a few weeks ago, though I'm not sure whether the girl in question was really trying to pick me up... The whole affair is kinda messy: once, ages ago, I went on a date with this girl, but nothing came out of it (though later on she hinted she might still fancy me). Anyway, now she's in a - to my knowledge - steady relationship with a guy, so I hope I just misinterpreted her approach.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 5 March 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

"...my feminist history class..."

If something had happened, you should have both been struck by lightening.

― lovebug starski (lovebug starski), Saturday, 5 March 2005 12:34 (twenty years ago)

What do you mean?

I did go out with the Icelandic girl from my class, though in the end nothing came out of it. No lightnings either.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 5 March 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

a failed attempt at humor. I detected a delicious note of irony in that "pick-ups" would occur in such a class but considering that the woman does the pursuing here perhaps she was "empowered" by the course of study. in the 70s, see, straight men wouldn't have been welcomed in a woman's studies course...please don't be offended.

― lovebug starski (lovebug starski), Saturday, 5 March 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

No, I wasn't offended. It's just a that being a guy who studies women's studies sometimes I get these jokey comments that I'm really there just to pick up girls. Which isn't true, obviously. However, despite all this it's kinda funny that I *have* been on a date with two girls I've met on my women's studies classes... I guess they're a good place to meet like-minded individuals, whether or not that is your intention.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Saturday, 5 March 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

I can't rememebr. Not a clue. Not while I've been with Sarah, I don't think.

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 5 March 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

Ned, Thom said if you gave me one *odd* look, you're dead

How about an even look? A prime number look?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 March 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

He/I was kidding. :-) As long as a guy doesn't give me *the* look all is fine!

― nathalie barefoot in the head (stevie nixed), Saturday, 5 March 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

You must beware the bold Bruges badasses!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 March 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

Seems like a good thread to mention the last time I *heard* a pick up line.

This teenage kid gets on the train and stands next to this teeange girl and her friend. All have on ipods.

Boy: (out loud to the girl) Wow, look at that, my ipod tag says Beastie Boys but this song is by Jimmy Smith.
Girl raises eyebrows
Boy: I know what happened here. This beat is very similiar to a Beastie Boys one, perhaps they sampled it. That's why I mistagged it.
Girl: Oh.
Boy: Do you ever have problems tagging?
Girl: I don't worry about it.
Boy: I could help you tag, are you on your way home?
Girl: I don't know you.
Boy: You could get to know-
Girl sighs

Unfortunately, I got off the train at that time, but the kid started talking about something else in depth while the girl remained nonplussed.

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Saturday, 5 March 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

future ilm regular, obviously

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

I can't remember who picked up who last week and neither can she. It's all good though. Nobody's complaining.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

Rah for the Miccio!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

»i remember one particular show, when we were dating, where he unveiled a new song that was about wanting his ex girlfriend back

Just learn to avoid the emo boys!
clearly barry, you dont know me very well. i hate emo and the people who like it. believe it or not, but this man had classier music tastes. still, that doesnt make him any less of a whimpster.

five spacebucks to the ilxor who can name the guy im talking about.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

miccio » this explains why i havent seen you online in a bit!

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

mark c i have been hittin on you non-stop unloved and unnoticed :'(

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Maria, I'll have to check AGNC backlog. Just kidding, I know it doesn't store old messages.

― nathalie barefoot in the head (stevie nixed), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

nathalie » i think this may have been between the two times i read AGNC, which was like... 4 years? maybe more?

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

About a month ago.

Bartender: "That French gentleman* at the end of the bar thinks you're very attractive."

Me: "Does he have a sister?"

Bartender: "Um, I don't know. Should I ask him?"

Me: "I'm a dyke. Get it?"

*he was easily in his mid 50s.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

If ever I have to name a person I've known online the longest, it'll probably be you. :-)I remember you mentioning him way back. Four yrs already?

― nathalie barefoot in the head (stevie nixed), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

a lesbeen? SACRE BLEU!

http://www.islandentertainmentsonline.com/acatalog/french%20man.jpg

I'm online plenty, Maria! I still have to go work and all.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 5 March 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

miccio » yeah yeah, you're in girlfriendland now and there's no returning for you.

nathalie » let's see if you can name him! he is def. metioned in my blog archives. i am pretty certain though, that i was not on AGNC at the time of this particular guy.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Miccio, that's teh hilarious.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Saturday, 5 March 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

Jeanne, your conversation is magnificent.

I have just remembered, with the mention of pickup lines, that I got a "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" just a few months ago. It was just by email, which I wasn't thinking about. She was something like 20 years younger than me and attractive, but I'm not on the market now so I didn't follow through on her strange interest.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 5 March 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

My favorite one was when I was in Vegas last time - I was sitting in the lobby of the MGM waiting for my friends and talking on my cell, sort of near this couple - he was clearly trying to cajole her into giving him her phone number (and her virginity if I was reading him correctly). He turned to me and asked if I had a pen, I said no.

"Oh. You look like someone who would have a pen," said he.

Um? It occurred to me a moment or two later that we were in the hotel lobby, so I said "excuse me, they probably have a pen at the front desk."

He looked at me with disdain and said "hold up now sunshine, you don't need to get all up in my business, I'm trying to chat to my lady," and I replied "your 'business' is the last thing I want to be up in, trust me, but since you asked me for a pen, I thought I'd mention it."

Oh, he says, and goes off in search of the pen.

I looked at the girl he was with and said, "RUN."

She did.

When he came back and realized she was gone, he sat down next to me and started asking me if I was dating someone, and I said "I'm married and I'm talking to my husband on the phone right now" and he looked really offended and said "okay now girl, no need to get het up, I was just tryin' to get wit' yo big ass...."

Oh Prince Charming, THERE you are.

― luna's cee, Saturday, 5 March 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

clearly barry, you dont know me very well. i hate emo and the people who like it. believe it or not, but this man had classier music tastes. still, that doesnt make him any less of a whimpster.

Sorry, I know you hate emo. On second viewing, my comment does appear to imply the opposite. From my understanding of your story, it appeared as though he was "normal" (heh, whatever that means), but unbeknownst to you at the time, he was actually an emo/Whimpster type. Fortunately, the truth came out in the end.

Oh, and that Whimpster link is required reading for everyone.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 5 March 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

Luna, that's astounding. (And of course, you did a kick-ass job in setting things right.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 5 March 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

I think it was in 2001, sometime.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Saturday, 5 March 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

"okay now girl, no need to get het up, I was just tryin' to get wit' yo big ass...."

Is "het up" something us queers don't know about? Explain please.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Saturday, 5 March 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

barry » also, i wasnt trying to sound mean and defensive, like "y'all dont know me!". i would never, ever, ever, date a guy who liked emo. id rip out my fallopian tubes with my bare hands before that ever happens.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and that Whimpster link is required reading for everyone.

Fuck, yeah. There but for the Grace of God, etc, etc.

― Tantrum (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 5 March 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

Het up - annoyed, upset.

I've been told by my mom that I radiate (unintentionally!) an "aura of disdain."
No you don't. Then again I've never hit on you.

Last time for me was the random guy no one really knew in an 'all back to mine' situation. Everyone else had left or gone to bed. I was talking to him because I didn't want to leave him downstairs in my house alone. I wanted to go to bed. then he came out with:
"I think you're very attractive and i'd like to have sex with you."
"Well, that's flattering but..."
"You have a boyfriend."
"Yes. And I'm drunk and tired and I'd like to go to sleep. Maybe you should go."
"Yes."

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 5 March 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

id rip out my fallopian tubes with my bare hands before that ever happens.
Ouch.

(You didn't sound mean and defensive. It's all good.)

(Has there been a thread about whimpsters on ILX?)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 5 March 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

Yup.

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/searchresults.php?board=1&q=whimpster&mode=threads

― Tantrum (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

(Has there been a thread about whimpsters on ILX?)

Yup:

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/searchresults.php?board=1&q=whimpster&mode=threads

― Tantrum (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

Eep, double post.

― Tantrum (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

i would never, ever, ever, date a guy who liked emo. id rip out my fallopian tubes with my bare hands before that ever happens.

so should we expect a scathing, sanctimonious reply to this, or is it the kind of thing that's a-ok on ILX as long as it's being done by an attractive woman & at the expense of a genre of music that's not popular here?

(i.e. "i would never, ever, ever, date a woman who liked hip-hop"...)

― i don't even like emo, Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

it's a-ok as long as it's being done by an attractive woman at the expense of a genre of music that's not popular here, yup

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

I have a feeling she wasn't really serious.

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

I'd like to think Conor Oberst posted that

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

probably. its unfair to either party -- not being able to appreciate each others music is like failing to understand each other on a certain level or various aspects of our histories.

but then again, any guy ive dated that's had really different tastes, i learned to appreciate those bands. im not really a snob, i just dislike emo. [early emo, like one last wish, is acceptable though!]

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

maybe the girl who asked me how to get to the Frick from 83d and 3d? She knew where it was.

that Whimpster link

people who behave a certain way all dress like this and listen to this

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

it makes me happy, actually, to see that my kinda troll-ish post was answered with humor and honesty. so kudos to y'all.

― really i don't like emo, Saturday, 5 March 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Does having a fifty year old guy who stared and smiled at me for four and a half hours on the train from Cologne to Berlin count?

But that's pretty much the only sort of situation in which people try half-heartedly to pick me up. I think it's been about three years since anyone remotely close to me in age has tried a line on me (oddly enough it was a German tourist at Mardi Gras in Sydney! His friend delivered the message in very bad English, if I recall he said "my friend thinks you are fuck!". It then took several minutes for me to realise that I shouldn't be offended but flattered)

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Sunday, 6 March 2005 08:36 (twenty years ago)

Couple of weeks ago walking to the supermarket, it was really disconcerting because I couldn't really understand what he was saying and he kept on disappearing and appearing out of different streets. he was gorgeous, but i don't go out with boys i meet walking to the supermarket.

― Nellie (nellskies), Sunday, 6 March 2005 09:59 (twenty years ago)

I never get the random pickups. Never. I don't know if I should be relieved or vaguely insulted. Even when we were in France, all these horrible old Drageur types kept coming up to Catty at busstops and things and starting pervy conversations with her, even after she told them "Mais je suis married!" Not *one* tried it on with me the entire time we were there. Not one.

I suppose it's just as well, as I'd probably have punched them. I suppose I just have that kind of a look, and it's just as well...

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Sunday, 6 March 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

a year or so ago. it was successful!

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Sunday, 6 March 2005 13:35 (twenty years ago)

about a month ago, I blew it.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Sunday, 6 March 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

a couple of weeks ago, i think.

― jbr (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 6 March 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

the guy who works near me at my campus job. he was kind of amusing at first but then i realized i was being hit on by a guy i didn't like who was really annoyingly persistent. so i have been trying to respond like i think he's joking and it's a little funny but not very, and saying that i've got a lot of work to get done so he should leave me alone (which doesn't work as well as you'd think it would).

― Maria (Maria), Sunday, 6 March 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

Fail to pull people who are trying to pick you up is plausibly the most depressing thing in the entire market.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Sunday, 6 March 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

I don't think anyone has ever tried to pick me up, or I have not noticed. Plus, I don't really go anywhere.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 6 March 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

I'm not a whimpster mind.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 6 March 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

2 years back, at Deasngate Locks one night in Manc, this girl I was talking to asked me if I slept with lots of randoms within earshot of her gaggle of mates, who had stressed to me over and over that she had a boyfriend. I left alone.

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Sunday, 6 March 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

Fail to pull people who are trying to pick you up is plausibly the most depressing thing in the entire market.

I am the world champion when it comes to this. I try and convince myself that at some point I in the future I will become less of a fuckwit in these situations but I never do.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 6 March 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

Just a couple of hours ago, the tow truck driver who was taking my car to his garage was trying to pick me up. I hope he won't take out his disappointment on my car.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 6 March 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

Last December. Last orders at the bar. Someone started stroking my arm whilst I was waiting for my round to be poured. The barman short-changed me, and it took my mind off the arm-stroking a bit. I suddenly remembered it two hours later, whilst I was walking home.

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 6 March 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

does someone asking you out qualify as a pick up? or does it have to be more crass than that?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 6 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

no, that qualifies.

I can't remember the last time.

it doesn't matter.

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 6 March 2005 22:03 (twenty years ago)

I don't think anyone has asked me out, ever.

If they have, I wasn't listening.

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 6 March 2005 22:05 (twenty years ago)

i guess two or three weeks ago then, but as aaron writes about above, i was kind of oblivious and missed my opportunity.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Sunday, 6 March 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

It doesn't happen. I'm too heavy to be picked up.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 7 March 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

at work .. body language, arm touches body leaningage.. not good.
politely move away.

incidentally i tried to pick up this one girl a few months back, she yelped! and i had to put her back down.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 March 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

A week ago Friday I was in a bar in Wakefield and a group of guys started hovering around me and my friend. They got as far as asking if they could put their drinks on our table (they were standing, we were seated on those high stools at one of those high tables). Then one of them whacked his hand into his pint and drenched me from my nose to my toes. Because of the height of my stool, a good amount landed straight in my lap. Then another one of them tried to dry me off, but ended up dabbing at my crotch. Then they bought my friend and me another drink each. Then they offered to follow us round and buy us drinks all night. I asked if I could take the cash. This did not go down terribly well, so we went to a different bar.

Miraculously, I kept going until 3.30am, but boy did my clothes stink. Perhaps this explains why nobody else tried to pick me up that night.

― Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 7 March 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

The only guys who have ever tried to pick me up were Pakistani taxi drivers. I'm guessing they have a surprisingly high success rate since their targets are usually drunk and on their way home anyway.

Other than that, only girls ever try to pick me up. wtf.

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 7 March 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

this doesn't really happen to me much. but a high school african exchange student pestered me for my phone number at work. he told me he wanted to have a "conversation" with me and when I declined, he told me to STOP BEING RUDE.

― gunther heartymeal (keckles), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 05:16 (twenty years ago)

This weird banker guy at Wells Farg0 tried to pick me up the other day- I'm standing in line to be seen by one of the tellers and he pops his head out of his closed, shuttered office and says "I can take care of you in here"- to me- even though someone else is ahead of me in line. I was like Whoah there but I wanted to get out of line so I went for it. So I go into his office and he's chatting away, looking at my bank account and he starts asking all these personal, kinda "lifestyle"-ish questions about my job and stuff, what do you do, oh you're in school, how's that going, yadda yadda. He gave me his card and told me to call him. He had this super duper faggy speaking voice- not bad looking though. I still have his card. Anyway, I had him sort out ordering my new checks and I was outta there.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 05:29 (twenty years ago)

i had a drunk med student chat me up on the bus. she was pretty funny and we were stuck facing each other standing, so i played along. we talked abt school. by the end of it there was a dude sitting next to us laughing, and she was all "oh look, this guy thinks it's funny, look, he's putting on blistex, though, he's got oral herpes ORAL HERPES don't talk to him." she gave me her number and i didn't call her.

― f--gg (gcannon), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

Best line ever, from a coffee shop gal to me: "You look like you'd be really pleasant to wake up with". This was a few summers ago. We had a brief fling, then she set me up with the woman I'm currently moving in with.

― Tantrum (Tantrum The Cat), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

No one has tried to pick me up for about 16 years.

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

A couple of years ago in Philly. I was walking to the corner store and right in front of me this guy carrying a pizza almost got hit by a car running a red light. I smiled at him to acknowledge I'd witnessed his near death. He said, "Hey are you hungry? Come to my place and share my pizza!" He was very cute. I was feeling old and dumpy and married that day, so it perked me up. I politely declined.

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

After my rakish days, I gradually learned that one can get into a lot of trouble with open-ended flirting. So I have sadly acquired a very polite but sometimes humorless demeanor in public which (together with my advancing age and incipient senility) protect me from any unexpected advances. I am still a wanton flirt with friends and acquaintances though.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

greatest pickup deal ever

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

yeah, what an angel!

― f--gg (gcannon), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

Last night, at the bar. I was with two attractive women, one of whom I'm seeing. I went to play music in the jukebox and in the process drew the attention of a much older woman sitting alone at the bar. She was drunk enough to hit on me, which is to say drunk enough to barely be able to speak. I picked my tunes and got the hell out of there, but not before she had spouted some choice lines about how she was a better choice than either of the two I was with (she wasn't) and went on and on about Phil Collins. It was later discovered/decided she had tried to pick up on my housemate in the same bar, and that she had gonnhorea.

― Dan M. (OutDatWay), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

http://tinypic.com/21ykwm

Guess it doesn't count if it's your girlfriend, huh?

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

It was later discovered/decided she had tried to pick up on my housemate in the same bar, and that she had gonnhorea.

Did someone find this out the hard way?

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

Probably along the line somewhere. Who the unlucky discoverer was I don't know. The story came to me via my housemate who had heard it from the very experienced bartender in the place.

― Dan M. (OutDatWay), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

There's a friend of my sister's who keeps trying it every single time we see each other and there's alcohol involved. I'm not sure quite how much longer the feigning ignorance tack is going to work.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

I get hit on by weird married dudes on myspace and friendster all the time. In person, my biggest fans seem to be 60-year-old drunk, toothless, homeless men and doo wop fans who live in their mother's basements. This is because I work at a record store in downtown Philadelphia, but that demographic pretty much follows me everywhere I go. A friend suggested to me that there might be men under 60 who have all their teeth and own homes who do hit on me, but are more subtle about it since I have a boyfriend and am totally oblivious to that sort of thing. Other than "hey bayyyyyyyyybyyyy can I be your bike?"

― Sara Sherr, Wednesday, 9 March 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

i went to our law school's careers fair last night (where firms come and try and sell themselves to law students by giving them copious amounts of free marketing crap) and a drunken solicitor kept stumbling up to me and slurring 'say don't i know you from somewhere?? you should definitely apply for a clerkship with us. here have my card' and breathing beer fumes on me. didn't exactly make me keen to apply to his firm. or go out with him. ewwwww

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 01:16 (twenty years ago)

last saturday at a crowded lower east side bar, the barback and the dj both hit on me. the barback gave me free shots [wise choice of method, buddy] while the dj told me he'd play me whatever song i wanted [too bad he didnt have anything i wanted to hear except cheap trick]. my roommate gave one of them my email. strangely enough they were both named dave and when one of them emailed me i had no idea which it was not that i was interested in either. didn't answer the email. guess i'm an asshole.

i've got a question. how many times have you let the pick up happen [given phone details, emails, flirted back] when you weren't interested actually interested?

my least favorite pick up place is on the subway. morning commutes are not the place to hit on strangers. just case you wondered.

― jane (jane), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 02:42 (twenty years ago)

Last night I had another DJ gig at a student party, which seems to be *the* spot to get all sorts of drunken pick-up attempts. First, this one girl quite bluntly asked me out for a coffee. This might've possibly even worked, but the girl seemed sorta desperate, plus earlier on she had asked me to play this awful Finnish teen goth band, even though I'd played house and hip hop and disco the whole evening (like I always do). You don't know nothing about me and you don't even like my music, why the hell are you trying to pick me up?!

Later on, when my gig was about to end another girl began to chat up with me. She was very cute and we danced and talked for a while, but she seemed quite bewildered by the fact that I major in Third World studies and that I don't drive a car for ethical reasons, so I decided it wasn't worth the try... Why oh why didn't the cute hippie and alternative girls who were also there try to pick me up, then I might've even said yes. Maybe I'm playing the wrong sort of music...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

Maybe they've seen you in your underwear.

― Dave B (daveb), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

i've got a question. how many times have you let the pick up happen [given phone details, emails, flirted back] when you weren't interested actually interested?

I don't think I've ever done this, I'm fairly okay with brushing people off if I'm not interested (it doesn't happen often obv)
I've done the 'exchange phone numbers-wake up next day-regret it' a fair amount of times though. For no other reason than that of cowardice.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 12:16 (twenty years ago)

I hate those times when someone's trying to pick you up and you definitely *are* interested and totally trying to respond to his signals but both sides are being just subtle enough to kinda miss the hook of the other's signals, and finally one side gives up in frustration and goes home, and you're like, "but hey, he was trying to pick me up", and you're all sad because you're a lonely 18 yr old looking for love and he's the best looking young about to become sports doctor possibly in the world.

You'd think i would have had enough amorous adventures by now that "the ones that got away" wouldn't retain such near-mythic proportions.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

I am dense enough about pick-ups that I don't notice them mostly, so by the time someone in whom I'm not interested has got through to me (I remember one occasion when the woman ended up with "Look, what kind of sex do you like?" and combined with her look I caught on) a sense of not being interested has already been established. I've only actually had sex with people I am unsure about when there was at least one other person involved.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

Last summer at a bar in town. It was some sort of acoustic duo night thing at the bar and I kept screaming out for them to do "Your Love" by the Outfield (which I do quite often). So these three chicks came over and started chatting up my friends and I because they loved that song. One of them was getting real cozy and obviously paid no mind when I told her I was married. So during the break for the duo I let go a massive beer fart. That was the end of that.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

i've got a question. how many times have you let the pick up happen [given phone details, emails, flirted back] when you weren't interested actually interested?

Judging by recent e-mail silence, I reckon this is happeneing to me these days. And I offered to be mates.

I'm sort-of-but-not-quite doing this as well (in that I don't quite know how to let her down gently).

― BARMS, Wednesday, 9 March 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

Say "it's not you it's me" and then do captain grrr face.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Maybe they've seen you in your underwear.

The ones who tried top pick me up or the ones who didn't?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

i know what tim is talking about; that sense that both parties are interested but neither wants to be so crass as to be the dealmaker, so to speak, and just ask the other person out (or for their phone number, whatever).

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 19:16 (twenty years ago)

Tim - I'm afraid she'd misintepret the grrr face! Japanese, y'know - they made Wicked City.

― BARMS, Wednesday, 9 March 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

And don't forget AfroKen.

― BARMS, Wednesday, 9 March 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

and i always think
as we tumble into bed
of little afroken and his gaudy head

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 9 March 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

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