I hate sex.

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Am I the only person here who absolutely hates sex? Why do you people talk about it so much? You guys talk about jerking off more than I talk about my own ass, so I'm feeling like a total freak. Talk here about your sexual hang ups. I don't want to feel like a freak.

― Ally, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, you don't.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Perhpas you are too sick to feel desire for sex. that happens you know.

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Note to Self: don't bother to hit on Ally. Even if she's drunk.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sterling you tart!

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ideally, sex = CLASSIC. However, the ACTUAL act is a bit duderific, unless you're with a person that feels the same way. It's a bit absurd, really, and this culture is so damn obsessed with it. (Or am I the one obsessed, just picking out what I want to notice?)

And guys NEVER talk about jerking off. They just do it constantly.

(Shit. MORE sex talk. I'm becoming a priest.)

― David Raposa, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is that yer way of hitting on Ally, Dave?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sex is the most perfect thing our bodies can do peroid.

― anthony, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sex is the most perfect thing our bodies can do peroid.

― anthony, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not really. If I were hitting on her, I'd be saying absolutely nothing while staring dumbfounded into the lipid pools that are her deep, sensuous eyes. Then I'd run away scared, because I can't pick up a check, let alone a woman.

Though I'm sure she's quite impressed by my obvious charm. *cough*

― David Raposa, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not one of those people who talks about, but I by no means hate it. I just think a lot of the talk can be dull, and since I usually post from work it's best to give it a miss anyway. It's probably like my theory about songwriters who sing about sex all the time.

― Nicole, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm pretty sure diminshed sex drive is more of a female thing, and considering this board is very guy slanted . . . well it certainly doesn't mean you're a freak. My nerves give me all sorts of hang-ups. I flinch, shake, become a general mess. But once I get comfortable wth someone, its pretty nice.

― bnw, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sex is as exciting as having your teeth cleaned

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've had what I would describe as good sex maybe once, maybe twice, but it's never felt *great*. To be honest, if I didn't have a constantly nagging sex drive that keeps trying to convince me that I just haven't found the right person/animal/object and shouldn't give up, I probably would.

― Dave M., Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

All you posters are examples of what happens to people who took Morrissey and his celibacy schtick too seriously ;-P

(to be honest, i generally don't like locker-room talk and i never have. i might engage in it for shits and giggles or to get a cheap laugh around folks i'm comfortable being around, but i generally don't care for it (esp. among strangers). considering some of my musical/entertainment likes and dislikes (uncle frank and howard stern), some find that very contradictory but still it holds. i've also never found potty-mouthed women to be very attractive [ya hear me, courtney love?] -- i might be sexist, but i find it very unsexy and a major turn-off.)

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally surely you're joking?

Dave: very harsh to call Ally's eyes "lipid pools"

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"YO, fateyes, wanna get a drink or somethin?" :)

― Josh, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally you are so full of shit. Plus, you are a freak.

― duane, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ah, to hell with me for posting when I'm overtired.

LIMPID. LIMPID pools. Thank you.

― David Raposa, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hate sex too. And the only person I could probably enjoy having sex with would be someone else who hated sex. But that will never happen so who cares.

― maryann, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Actually having sex = dud, it's getting to tell everybody you got some pussy that's cool.

― dave q, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Rooting is choice. It makes you feel fucken choice, eh."

― duane, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(oops gotta attribute yr sources. so: my friend roddy said that. i agree w/ him.)

― duane, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sex id ud, watching/thinking other ppl having sex = classic

― Geoff, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Besides, how bad can sex be? With me, it's only about 30 seconds out of your life.

― dave q, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally hates sex because she hasn't had me.

― berbis, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love sex because i havent had Ally
Although if the plaid fairy made me het, i would sleep with Ally first.

― anthony, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think sex is fun and interesting too.

I like the way loads of replies are getting posted to multiple threads - is this intentional or have we overloaded greenspun.com?

― Tom, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why is everyone telling me I'm full of shit? Have I slept with any of you?! NO I HAVEN'T. Everyone thinks me and my boyfriend are having sex, I mean Tim's all "You're kicking us out to Queens so you can have sex, you dirty girl!" and was laughing hysterically and I'm all, no, I just don't feel like hanging out with you people anymore. I'm not joking, I have had sex with loads of people but just cos I gain control that way, that's all.

And what's wrong with my eyes? And Sterling wasn't going to have sex with me anyhow, because he despises me. Oh, Anthony, I'm flattered btw.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the TV adaptation of The Life and Times Of All y, Jenifer Lopez is looking into the eyes of Alec Guiness sayng "You can;t have me, I hate sex"

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Who is Alec Guiness supposed to be?

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Obi-wan kenobi? How old ARE you Mike?

― Kris, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am 64

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That explains quite a bit.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, like my wisdom

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And your crochety-ness.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"ouch"

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You are a beeotch.

― Ally, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have some theories on women not liking a great deal of sex talk. It seems most of them have lesser sexual desire, so they don't get into it, and they don't like it cuz they think guys won't take them seriously as thinking, complex humans, or guys will place too much emphasis on it. I think most men probably don't put too much emphasis on it as something that *matters a lot* but see its a something fun, and fun to discuss. Then again, some guys might be excessively charged up...

Idle sex talk is probably something that'd seem really tiresome to folks without much sex drive...and there's waaaaay too much idle sex talk on the 'net, of course....or perhaps y'all didn't notice??

― Chris, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Chris, I have the exact opposite experience. Let us imagine the morning after...

* "So what happened? Tell me all about it..."
"Well first... and then... ooh and then..."

* "So how'd it go?"
"Great. Real good."

You tell me which is which.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Women sure seem to like to oogle ass less.

― Mike Hanley, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mike does nothing but ogle my ass, that's for sure.

― Ally, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

actually, some women LOVE to talk about sex. some women choose not to talk about it though and this can be for several reasons such as they don't find talking about sex very interesting, or they feel they will be judged as unfeminine if they do.

i talk about sex with my friends. i will talk about sex with people i don't know but only if i am in bed with them already.

― lady die, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Was I too subtle? A first! I meant that at least among the people I know, women are MUCH more explicit about sex than the men are. An A- level cliche almost.

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 31 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe it depends who you hang around; I've been around women who get bored pretty fast talking about sex...and I don't blame them too much, cuz it seems that with the women who do choose to talk about it publicly (Madonna, Anka Radokovich, whoever) then it becomes this *thing* they always *have* to talk about. Maybe that's a simplified women-as-victims idea that they can't handle it, or maybe such sex-talkers bring it on themselves, but it's just seemed to me when a women talks about it publicly then it becomes overly stressed in interviews/gossip/etc and it must be a burden of sorts, to be an "expert"/maven/icon of sex.

― Chris, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't have a problem talking about sex at all generally. I just hate having it. And I hate it when guys who like me come all over and just talk about sex, especially when they like me too much and won't get the hint.

Sorry, I'm obsessing about that. Grr.

― Ally, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So I guess my name and email address don't turn you on?

By the way: eew yucky. A person that hates sex and only uses it to gain power... I'm not even going to finish that sentence.

― Nude Spock, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

this thread wont go away. it keeps rising up, thrusting, thrusting

― Mike Hanley, Wednesday, 1 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That makes me wanna puke.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yes, let the puke come spurting out , ou t, out

― Mike Hanley, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm going to smack you.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(avec un clothespin a my nez) chris: I don't mean that men talk about sex LESS but that the guys I know are less SPECIFIC about it than women. Wizard of Oz deriving his power from his hiddenness type of thing...

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe they haven't learned the words yet.

― Chris, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

*rolls eyes* This forum gets stupider by the day, I swear to god. What's up with fake email idiots harrassing me lately?

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, come on. You know that was funny. Every single person who's ever seen it goes, "HA!" Unless they're at work and then they say, "AH!"

― harrassing idiot, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But what's funny about it? "Oh, look, we blew up his penis badly in Photoshop!" How, um, interesting? I mean, I could do that. I guess I'm just not one to be amused by digital trickery.

― Ally, Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Please, text only posts, some people don't have great connections etc. Offending posts have been deleted.

― THE LAW! Possibly., Thursday, 2 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

five months pass...

Yes, I hate it too, but I am a freak. Never mind, freaks are great. I loved the woman who's said that she could only enjoy sex with someone else who also hated sex....that just about sums it up for me too. I hate the bodily need that you're satisfying in the other person, it's like "Ah, that's better, you can piss off now that I've had my smelly cock inside you". I know people that have their whole bloody lives taken over by talking about sex- surely there are more important issues that we could be acting on, e.g, foetuses freezing to death on the streets.

― Hmmm..., Monday, 7 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i don't have a problem with the physical act itself, but i hate all the messy crap that seems almost inevitably to stem from it due to (some) peoples prudishness. people should get over sex. its just sex. sure, its fun, but its hardly the pivotal factor in life.

i don't mean "don't talk about sex" though, i just mean that its a shame that lots of people act wierd around people they have had sex with.

― di, Monday, 7 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm not having a go at anyone or anything cos i act wierd around people i've had sex with too... but its something i'm not proud of.

― di, Monday, 7 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

surely there are more important issues that we could be acting on, e.g, foetuses freezing to death on the streets.

Presumably the first issue on the mind of said foetus would be, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY WOMB???????"

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 8 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Freezing foetuses.. that's terrible. I'd hate to have to see ol' pally Jim Thirlwell go that way.

― Brian MacDonald, Tuesday, 8 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That was the other response that came to mind. "I-i-i-i kn-n-n-n-now where y-y-you live/English f-f-f-faggot/Spare a q-q-q-quarter for a h- h-ot meal?"

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 8 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't act weird around people I've had sex with, I just don't give a shit.

― Ally, Tuesday, 8 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I tend to forget what sex was like with someone as soon as I've slept with someone else.. so feeling weird isn't likely to occur.

― electric sound of jim, Tuesday, 8 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sex is the P.E. of adult life. And I've got a note from my mother.

― Dickon Edwards, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So THAT'S why I keep getting rope burns!

― David Raposa, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So barfing up that stale cafeteria donut on the track after being punished into a two mile run doesn't turn girls on?

― Brian MacDonald, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sex is messy, boring, and can be quite painful. In social interactions, sex is over-rated and over-ritualized. On the other hand, it's an absolutely fabulous means of gernering social capital And the whole "look at me: i'm liberated and modern, i can talk openly about, erm, *cough*, *blush* sex" mentality has got to go. I've got to admit that, sometimes, sex can be amusing on a purely intellectual level. Ever fucked someone with whom you share a total and mutual lack of respect, when neither of you really wanted to, but it just seemed like the thing to do? It's got to be the most wonderfully pointless gesture in the world. And they say irony is dead.

― M, Saturday, 12 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Your cafe served donuts, Brian? Shit, man - it was a day of rejoicing and free love when we had FRENCH FRIES and CHOCOLATE MILK.

― David Raposa, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I remember I lived in shoebox in middle of t'road...

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It wasn't really a cafeteria... it was this sleazy guy with a shiny red Porsche inside a little stand that would sell "pizza bagels" for 3 bones each, and be nice enough to only charge me 20 cents for ice and water. This being at an all boys Catholic school, mind you.

― Brian MacDonald, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What do you do when you've been drinking and you're kissing someone but need to burp? It's a genuine problem. you all know what I'm talking about.

― Ronan, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

go down on them, slurp a lot, make lots of noise and then burp.

― geoff, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't understand people who hate sex.

― DG, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Thanks geoff. that should do fine.

― Ronan, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yr welcome...any other questions?

― Geoff, Sunday, 13 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three weeks pass...

Ally, I hate sex as well. I love kissing women hugging them, getting close to them etc. (getting a head?) but the actual act of penetrating a woman and being in that ridiculous position is ugly. I sure do it. But that is only because of my other motives.

― Dave, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The above post has me speechless.

― Sean, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

it makes me laugh. how sinister!

― Maria, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh no 'sensual santa' is real!!

― ethan, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sexual Harrassment Panda?

― David Raposa, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What does he mean 'getting a head'? Please don't 'beat around the bush'!

― maryann, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But what are the other motives?

― Ally, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's what I was wondering too. Maybe he's just trying to trick them into cuddling with him afterward. Velly strange indeed.

― Kim, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My peers think it was great I had sex with so and so. The women talk about it too. I tolerate doing what everyone thinks is great. Strange, huh?!

― Dave, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Your other motive for having sex is to give your friends something to talk about? Am I misunderstanding you here? Because if I'm not, I think you're my new hero.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't think Dave is odd at all.

― N., Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh don't mind me and my not very creative stab at ironic humour. I'm sure Dave has his reasons.

― Kim, Tuesday, 5 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ally do you still hate sex, do you hate it less or more?

― goeff, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, not anymore.

― Ally, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Amazing.

― Ally C, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

not anymore than you used to?

― goeff, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Thanks N. Women are gorgeous. They are the primary reason why I am alive and well. I love looking at them etc. ( I have said that already:)) Sex??? Not as fun! What is really wrong with our society? Why do we make a big deal out of that act?? I guess the idea of sex is fun, but the act itself is strange and ugly. Why dwell in this backward idea then? I am really sick of talking about it. Total freaks have nothing to talk about but sex.

― Dave, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You sound like me, last year.

― Ally, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Why do you like sex now Ally? Were you doing it wrong before?

― Ally C, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

w/wrong person, i suspect.

― Sterling Clover, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sterling finally says something insightful, mark the date.

― Ally, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

buckets of orange mess

― mike hanle y, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I hate sex too, I think maybe it's because I am not getting anything out of it. I mean at time I get horny and want it, but that's every blue moon. Like maybe 5 times a year or so. Other times I just try to do it to please my loving fiance. He is getting tired of me not wanting to have sex but hey. I have had 2 abortions and 3 pregnancies so. I don't know what I can do to make it better. You not the only one who hates sex!

― Shonda, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have had 2 abortions and 3 pregnancies so. I don't know what I can do to make it better.

go lezbo.

― spectral, Thursday, 14 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

or tell other people you don't like sex to confuse them! or no, it's too late, the 'i hate sex' line has probably already been done on 'sex and the city'. sex is so last year. tell people you do like sex. it's the new not liking sex.

― maryann, Thursday, 14 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

that sounded like i was making fun of shonda when really i was filled with admiration

― maryann, Thursday, 14 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

Ally, don't worry, I absolutely HATE sex. Sure, it feels great, but its just disgusting. It seems that everyone's goal in life is to fuck as much as possible. All guys... oh they are worse. let me tell you girls out there. believe i know this: guys, yers they may act sweet, andf you probably DO have a guy that really does LOVE you, now but if you back away from him once when he tries to make a move, thats the end. He will make up some sorry ass excuse to break up weith you. all guys want sex!! thats the end. yes ive had sex with a guy, and no he never left me, but every husband out there, every boyfriend, dont think for one second that they never cheated on you, becuase believe me, they have slept with as many women u can imagine. i cant explain it. but ill guys want ass. some girls, yes they like having sex all the time, but the one's that dont----just choose your guy/girl very carefully. mostly all of them want sex, and if they cant get it, your gone.

― shan, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I totally agree with everything you're saying. Maybe we can have a few drinks sometime, back at my place, and talk about all this stuff further.

― Dare, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dude, what the hell is this, the Bloodhound Gang?

― Ally, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i hate sex...i am not like all guys....unless its kinky weird shit sex, and then it's not that bad....

― Queen G, Saturday, 13 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

not that bad? it's bluddy grate. except for the shit part

― electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ill guys want ass

This is an awe-inspiring line.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"it feels great, but its just disgusting" is a even better one.

― , Wednesday, 17 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think you are all full of fucking shit.

― Sex Dr., Thursday, 18 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

again with the shit! keep your poo out of my sex please

― electric sound of jim, Thursday, 18 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

Boy do I love this thread. And by the way, I hate sex too. I always have. It's not my partner either, I've had lots,of varying skill,trying to figure out what the problem might be. It's definitely me. I don't have a problem with this, but it seems that everyone else does!

― Nepenthe, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What if you like sex but don't like the people who want to have sex with you (cf., "Sonny Bono" goth)?

― j.lu, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a question -- better to be attractive to others you can't stand, or to not be attractive to anyone at all?

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's a rubbish dilemma. Obviously the former. I mean that's just life. The latter is an appalling prospect.

― N., Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a question -- better to be attractive to others you can't stand, or to not be attractive to anyone at all?

We've sort of explored that question already.

― j.lu, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's a completely different question, despite superficial similarities.

― N., Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned, that *is* a ridiculous question. I mean, if you were attractive to those you couldn't stand, you could use it to your advantage and engage in sick mind games, tear them up inside etc

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This is why I'm not you. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

INSIDE NIZAD'S HEAD: "Oh Mitch, why can't I be you???"

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think you're just copying the question you ask to the icon of Robert Smith you have on your wall.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have never asked any of the icons on my walls, "Oh Mitch, why can't I be you???" So you can just shove it where the birds always sing, buster.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Go, go, go, just push it away.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Come on boys, *inhale* in with anger *exhale* out with love

― Matt, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Where did you find her, Marsh, floating around LA with the rest of the airheads?"

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not an icon on Dizan's wall? I'm hizurt in my hizeart.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm surprised by all of this. As far as I can see, if you don't enjoy sex you're not doing it right. (I realise that people vary and not everyone likes exactly the same things as I do, but I don't have to like that fact.)

― Martin Skidmore, Wednesday, 22 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

martin, if you're enjoying sex, you haven't had it with me

― Senor MExican Geoff, Friday, 24 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm sure he'll get round to it one of these days Geoff.

― Andrew L, Friday, 24 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

that's what they all say andrew

― Senor MExican Geoff, Saturday, 25 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It has been 2 years since I have had sex (by choice) and I don't miss it at all!

― jean, Friday, 31 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Rule of thumb: men want more sex than women; (da!)that's obvious enough from personal observation, however, the underlying genetic/evolutionary reason is that men produce many more sperm hundereds of millions and billions vs. only maybe 500 eggs(12 periods per year times 41.67 period years?). Simply the laws of supply and demand applied to biology.

So, to answer your question, it's more normal for women to not desire sex.

― art, Sunday, 2 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think we're socialized to think that it is (more) normal for women to not want sex.

which has more to do with sexual oppression (in terms of desire in both women and men) then it does with any kind of useful reality.

― nancy b., Sunday, 2 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nancy talks sense.

― di, Sunday, 2 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two weeks pass...

I'd like to divert attention back to the freezing foetuses post and say that, indeed, "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WOMB?" would be at least ONE of the thoughts in the said foetus' head.

My apologies, please continue...

― HmmMMMmMmmMMaarrr...., Thursday, 20 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

A year's plenty long enough for a revival these days, huh? So...sex...what is the point?

― petra jane, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

To kill time in between burning CDRs?

― electric sound of jim, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ten months pass...

revive?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Creep.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)

i dont think i like sex!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate people who are getting some

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

what about people who are turning it down?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Sex was best when it first came out.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:56 (twenty-three years ago)

i want it less everyday

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I get annoyed when people are proud about their ability to turn it down. "Yeah man, I'm so straight-edge, she invited me in for coffee and everything but I just told her I was going home"

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Less is Jess

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 16:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude oh my fucking God are you people even human? Do you have nervous systems? How can you hate sex? What, do you weirdos hate oxygen and light too?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Oxygen is for slaves to genetic heritage.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:03 (twenty-three years ago)

What N. said. We can transcend chemistry!

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I vaguely remember what sex is...but it's so hard to hate or love such a distant memory. I recall that liquids and elbows were involved, but other than that it's all a faded blur.

― Neudonym, Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I hate light and sex but oxygen is OK.

I don't hate sex actually but it is so not on my list of the 1000 funnest things to do.

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, I give it a fun factor of 6.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:22 (twenty-three years ago)

i seriously worry about my girlfriend breaking up with me because of this

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:24 (twenty-three years ago)

i'll do her for you.

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:25 (twenty-three years ago)

chaki wins

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:28 (twenty-three years ago)

you'll have to get in line behind electric sound of jim, josh, and most of new zealand

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Now that's really sick.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:30 (twenty-three years ago)

''I hate people who are getting some''

yup.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:31 (twenty-three years ago)

I want it less every day too, but that's because I'm almost 30 i.e. AN OLD MAN. Y-pants and Jess are not, and this troubles me greatly

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:38 (twenty-three years ago)

I had a sex dream last night. The sex ended with someone I wasn't even "seeing" saying "I can't see you anymore." And I said "Uh, okay" and went and had rebound sex with someone else.

Guess I need to get laid.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:38 (twenty-three years ago)

that sounds like a good dream!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

i almost never actually have onscreen sex in my "sex dreams"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Stop reviving my crazy threads from when I was a total cokehead, you're giving me a bad reputation.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:41 (twenty-three years ago)

jess, maybe your sex drive is down because of your bad diet, laziness and/or excessive crack use.

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:41 (twenty-three years ago)

which is confusing since crack makes me hella horny

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:43 (twenty-three years ago)

You're thinking of e.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:44 (twenty-three years ago)

no, e makes me hungry

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:45 (twenty-three years ago)

the only time I didn't "enjoy" sex was when we were trying to conceive: the pressure is ON, and then enjoyment leaves. plus the physical RAMifications (ouchy) and the whole "well, job well done there, pip pip, try agayne tomorrow" thing

we always do the stereotypical brit-twit accent, adds some spice

seriously, though: what about when there's a discrepancy between your drive and that of your partner? how does this affect things/performance/guilt/emotional responses to each other/etc.? I could write a book about this, but it would be a really sad dismal little affair.

and, on the DL: anyone here ever had an affair? (NB: I'm not going to do this.)

― Neudonym, Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:48 (twenty-three years ago)

no, you're thinking of weed

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:48 (twenty-three years ago)

no, Chaki, you're thinking of 'ludes

had a one night stand once while I was seeing someone else. it was dismal--the sex was horrible (I was horrible, point blank, not the woman, though she wasn't any good either), and she turned out to be dumb as a rock. not much fun.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not all that inclined toward monogamy to begin with, but let's just say I'm a hell of a lot pickier now

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Stop talking about me that way, Matos.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:50 (twenty-three years ago)

what about when there's a discrepancy between your drive and that of your partner?

if a g/f isn't okay with the idea of having sex as often as possible, it's back to romania with her.

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Dyson is OTM!

Stop reviving my crazy threads from when I was a total cokehead, you're giving me a bad reputation.

I was searching for greenspun.com to find another thread that listed the old IP for the server. Its right near the first revival which is K-hilarious.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 5 June 2003 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

chaki's post offering to do jess's girlfriend totally redeems the thread anyway.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:08 (twenty-three years ago)

chaki = chivalry

― Neudonym, Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Everything would be simpler without it.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Sex? I'm not sure if I still remember what that is.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

"Doo Doo Dooooo Dooda doo. Doo doo dooooo Dooda doo.
Adoop doop doop doopa doo! < vocoder >NINETEEN EIGHTY FOUR< /vocoder >"

There there, do you all feel better now?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I want it less every day too, but that's because I'm almost 30 i.e. AN OLD MAN.

That's strange. I'm 35 and I want it much more than I did when I was in my twenties.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm getting hornier with age, too. I think it's all the soy.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:30 (twenty-three years ago)

As long as your partner is from the same planet. i.e. doesn't think it should be romantic when it's funny, ridiculous when it's serious, tender when it's crazy, etc.. Of course it's never gonna match up exactly 100% of the time, but like anything else in a relationship, if you find someone with whom it matches most of the time, it's pretty damned genius.

I like sex a lot. It makes me happy.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Christina is that a supply-demand sort of equation? or are you coming into that fabled mid-to-late-thirties-horniest-time-eva for women?

― Neudonym, Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Christina is that a supply-demand sort of equation?

"Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of STEAMY ASS THUMPIN'."
—Adam Smith

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Adam Smith! Welcome back to ILX, dude; we've missed ya. How's tricks?

― Neudonym, Thursday, 5 June 2003 18:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I only said that to get hit on. Hi there.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm 44 in a few days, and I haven't lost interest in sex at all.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:20 (twenty-three years ago)

How you doin'?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:21 (twenty-three years ago)

[gross stuff deleted again]

― tubby, Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm more disturbed by that strange looking bum hole than anything else. Although it's bound to get 'angry' with excretions of that kind, I suppose... Hmm, off to make myself a sandwich.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I like the fact that C41Um stopped posting to these boards almost the same time the pics started flowing. (I wish it was him but it does not appear that way presently.) He would have gotten a kick out of the variety of uses for the ass being shown.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

see mod thread for a tip on how to banish images like that from your computer

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:45 (twenty-three years ago)

or are you coming into that fabled mid-to-late-thirties-horniest-time-eva for women?

Looks like it, yeah.

I'm more disturbed by that strange looking bum hole than anything else. Although it's bound to get 'angry' with excretions of that kind, I suppose... Hmm, off to make myself a sandwich.

Was that Tubgirl again? Those excretions are probably just enema water. (Not that I'm an expert on enemas or anything--it's not my kink.)

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:48 (twenty-three years ago)

The more disturbing part is its landing in her mouth. Thats gotta be uncomfortably warm amoung other things.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 5 June 2003 19:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I missed the image all together. I went a good while w/out sex and could care less. But a few recent rolls in the proveribal hay have, ahem, whet my appetite. It's a classic!

― That Girl (thatgirl), Thursday, 5 June 2003 20:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I missed the image all together. I went a good while w/out sex and could care less. But a few recent rolls in the proveribal hay have, ahem, whet my appetite. It's a classic!

That's the thing, isn't it? If you go a month without, you feel like you can go a year without. But if you go a day without it, you feel like you can't go another hour without.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Thursday, 5 June 2003 20:24 (twenty-three years ago)

If you go a month without, you feel like you can go a year without. But if you go a day without it, you feel like you can't go another hour without.

maybe this is a man/woman thing, but, for me, I must disagree with the first of your two statements. A month without is already LIKE a year without, so when it's a few months--hell, that's torture. And in the context of a relationship where there's theoretical access....

Okay, revealing way too much. Must retreat now.

― Neudonym, Thursday, 5 June 2003 20:48 (twenty-three years ago)

in my (NO) SEX NIGHTMARE (in the 'thing that happens while yr sleeping' sense, not the 'i want to wake up from my life' sense, tho i do want to do that too) of last week, I found a friend of mine in bed with 1. a not-even-one-nighter-didn't-even-make-it-all-the-way ex-girl, my real life encounter with whom should've been incidental yet left me an emo wreck and 2. another longtime friend-who-is-a-girl of mine that he doesn't even know exists. this is like the third time i can remembering crying in a dream. i guess my brain decided that the usual teeth-falling-out or whatever was too subtle an indication of my threatened masculinity. anyway, so i hate sex now, but only insofar as i'm not getting it. which is like most other people i guess. typing this was kind of cathartic for me. though really i'm just avoiding studying for my eng lit exam tomorrow. this post had too many hyphens in it.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 5 June 2003 20:49 (twenty-three years ago)

mitch, i love you

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 20:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't you think he's suffered enough?

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 June 2003 20:58 (twenty-three years ago)

i didnt say "mitch, i anally rape you"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 21:03 (twenty-three years ago)

and now my surprise is foiled

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 June 2003 21:03 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a continuum anyway.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 June 2003 21:06 (twenty-three years ago)

jess, i love you

(be quiet this time, n.!)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 5 June 2003 21:06 (twenty-three years ago)

you'll have to get in line behind electric sound of jim, josh, and most of new zealand

yay! i'm first in the queue!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 5 June 2003 23:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm turning it down a lot these days. Well, not direct offers, but situations that would lead to it, with some very good looking guys. I know I'll regret it some day, but it feels like right now I know exactly what I want, and until I find it (or find something that I didn't know I want but really do) just having sex doesn't appeal to me. I know it's crazy.

― Sean (Sean), Friday, 6 June 2003 01:39 (twenty-three years ago)

I like sex. If I find myself getting disinterested I tell my BF that we will not have sex for 3 months and he says "ummmm OK." And then we become these ubercute-making-out-puppies and it's all so painfully twee sickening that I want to kill ourselves. But usually I become more interested in sex again, because of the not having it.

― Carey (Carey), Friday, 6 June 2003 02:12 (twenty-three years ago)

"I want to kill ourselves" is pretty sickeningly twee itself

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 6 June 2003 06:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Yea boy I hate sex, too. I don't want to have it ever. Nooope. Not me. Especially not right now. Nuh uh. No screaming orgasms for me, thanks.

Fuck.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 6 June 2003 06:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, can you at least help a brotha out, if you know what i mean?

― oops (Oops), Friday, 6 June 2003 06:41 (twenty-three years ago)

well i'm growing back my virginity. sex? i've heard about it. haven't seen much myself.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Friday, 6 June 2003 06:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I love it and do it as much as possible either alone or with my wife.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 6 June 2003 11:39 (twenty-three years ago)

God i seem to be in the minority on this thread, but I love it, it's great! more, more, more! ahem.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 6 June 2003 12:16 (twenty-three years ago)

ilx has been way too sexualized lately. except its been lame sexualization, like sad people thousands of miles away from each other making lame passes at each other and using the dreaded *word* to connote some sort of actual physical activity.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:35 (twenty-three years ago)

jess i txt u

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:41 (twenty-three years ago)

don't put your hang ups on me, flesh being

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Really, Jess, is that a new thing?

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:49 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread completely derailed my train of thought about Tony Blair and Robin Cook.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:49 (twenty-three years ago)

it's not new, no, but it has been particularly gross

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:54 (twenty-three years ago)

It seemed like it was worse a month or so ago. Which is why I'm glad I don't have mod privileges or I would have just got irritated and deleted ilx.

I haven't noticed it as much lately.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I kinda wish people'd just be more open w/their flirting, like "hey you I'm FLIRTING, etc". You both know it, go on. God, I actually don't like sex that much mostly

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 6 June 2003 13:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I use my mod privileges to correct my typing, mostly. And moderate.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Using moderator privileges to moderate, pffft.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Well I've been cutting down on that crap

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:02 (twenty-three years ago)

i am temporarily abdicating mod privs after having to look at tub girl FOUR TIMES yesterday

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:03 (twenty-three years ago)

I have never looked at this picture, this makes me happy.

― Nicole (Nicole), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Y'know, I've never seen tubgirl either.

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't say that, someone will be tempted to e-mail you the damn thing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:07 (twenty-three years ago)

what word jess? "doin it"?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:33 (twenty-three years ago)

"hey everybody I'M NOT FLIRTING"

― Neudonym, Friday, 6 June 2003 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I think he's talking about "making the sex". How you doin', Tracer?

ps I'm going to make the sex with every single person at the July 4th FAP, how you like that?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:46 (twenty-three years ago)

are we supposed to be surprised?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:48 (twenty-three years ago)

done it

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:54 (twenty-three years ago)

i mean, cuz i can fake it as good as the next guy

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:57 (twenty-three years ago)

jess bring yr girlfriend.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

sadly i wont be attending

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

right, making the sex is totally off then.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:02 (twenty-three years ago)

As I always say: Sex begins where words end.

Nevertheless, I love talking about sex, especially the fringes of them, I love having sex, and it only feels ridiculous with people you don't REALLY fancy. As a Nobel prize winner said: Fornication is Good.

― Jan Geerinck (jahsonic), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you really always say that? I'm trying to think of a context where that'd be appropriate to say and I just can't.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:06 (twenty-three years ago)

the confessional.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

a mute couple fucking?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

or two people with completely un-sexy voices.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Sex begins where words end: with a period.

― NA. (Nick A.), Friday, 6 June 2003 15:11 (twenty-three years ago)

Really? My experience is different: "'cause you see I'm on a losing streak"

― Neudonym, Friday, 6 June 2003 15:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I have been saying it regularly for the last 1.5 years or something. I usually say it to women, but then, I only confess to women.

― Jan Geerinck (jahsonic), Friday, 6 June 2003 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm 35 and I want it much more than I did when I was in my twenties.
I was gonna say you're lucky cuz you're almost at your peak!

I like this thread.
Also, I like sex.
There, I said it.

― Sarah MCLUsky (coco), Friday, 6 June 2003 17:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Sex? Never heard of it.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 6 June 2003 17:51 (twenty-three years ago)

(I'm a)

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 6 June 2003 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I am now dating a 44 year-old, and I haven't lost interest in sex at all.

― hstencil, Friday, 6 June 2003 17:57 (twenty-three years ago)

(I wonder if Matos refers to...)

Jennifer Charles: I'm a geisha.
Mike Patton: I'm a man!
Both: AND WE'LL MAKE LOVE TOGETHER...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 6 June 2003 17:58 (twenty-three years ago)

No I think he's referring to "Sex Dwarf."

― hstencil, Friday, 6 June 2003 17:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Ich bin ein Berliner?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"It's slang! He's a doughnut!"

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:03 (twenty-three years ago)

(insert "cream-filled" reference here)

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Sean, I don't think yr ready for this jelly!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:11 (twenty-three years ago)

What, precisely, are you offering here, Yanc3y? I've got the ph34r.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Two peanuts were walking through the woods. One was a salted.

THINK ABOUT IT!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:18 (twenty-three years ago)

You should put that on the sex jokes that are actually funny and sexy thread. I mean, peanuts...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:19 (twenty-three years ago)

You want to salt my WHAT?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:21 (twenty-three years ago)

What's the matter, feeling kinda sluggish?

(italics automatically make lame things so funny!)

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:24 (twenty-three years ago)

oh no! SLUGS Oh No!!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Noodles to thread. I'm outie.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I just realized, I don't hate sex. I hate all of you.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:44 (twenty-three years ago)

but we are sex

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Then colour me a nun.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 18:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I just painted this the other day:

http://www.thewarp.net/war/believers/cc_battlenun_buns.jpg

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Charming.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:07 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a warrior nun.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Then colour me a nun.
-- Ally

Americans who spell "color" with a "u," C or D?

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd say classic, but then I'd have to claim Corey Glover is a classic.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

It was an accident! Jesus fucking christ.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Americans whose proverbial goats are easy to get, C or D?

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

(which is to say, I'm just fuckin with you Ally.)

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:52 (twenty-three years ago)

what do you care? you hate us!

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:53 (twenty-three years ago)

(Ally, pick one from Column A: /ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?thread.php?msgid=3589407)

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:56 (twenty-three years ago)

I really truly never have hated anyone as much in my life as I hate you, Matos. Daggers upon you.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

i like it but maybe i am not that good could you teach me how? ;-)

(the worst joke evah; now ILX has reached its nadir, lets build it back up ;-)

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Friday, 6 June 2003 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I have a worse joke but I need Alex SF to be here to do it with me.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 6 June 2003 20:01 (twenty-three years ago)

No I think he's referring to "Sex Dwarf."

I've been banned from singing that song or requesting it at a certain formerly goth club. They did play Blue Peters.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Saturday, 7 June 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

The Peter Parkers + Blue Peter = The Blue Peters.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Saturday, 7 June 2003 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

now that's what I like to hear, Ally!

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 7 June 2003 06:36 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the most depressing thread I've ever read, period. Seriously. No joke.

Sex is serious business, to be taken seriously, and done with interest and passion and brains and everything else you can scare up. It's a life-force. When done with the right person, it's a reason to live another day.

Ally, you are the exact reason that conventionally pretty girls repulse me. But at least you're honest about the whole "gaining control" thing. At least you're not clueless about your own capacity for evil.

< /scorpio >

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 07:32 (twenty-two years ago)

''Sex is serious business''

sure it is! the porn industry makes like, a zillion squid each year. or soemthing.

''to be taken seriously, and done with interest and passion and brains and everything else you can scare up. It's a life-force. When done with the right person, it's a reason to live another day''

but when it isn't done at all with nobody. then its a reason to hate it.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 7 June 2003 08:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wanted to state the following:

I cannot have love or hate feelings toward something which I know nothing about. Absolutely nothing about, to be clear. I must be the only 23-year-old female in the whole of the United States who hasn't at this point ever engaged in something even coming close to sexual intercourse. This one male I was interested in when I was 20 said I came across as frigid and, in his words, "nun-like", and that's why he would never be interested in me ever.

I don't know how I give off these vibes. I just don't know. I do know that I am waiting for the right time, with the right person, a person whom I would like to at least spend a very long time with, to share my whole physical self. Maybe this is antiquated thinking in the time when more people seem to be "doing it" than ever before, but I think I'd have to be in a serious relationship before I could become sexually involved with someone.

Maybe that's why no male IRL has given me a second look, not even while I'm at a normal weight. As much as I love San Antonio, it is macho central, and I trust people here are intelligent enough to know what that entails.

― Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 7 June 2003 08:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 35 and I only learned how to give good head three days ago. The trick is to alternate between smacking the clitoris around and ignoring it for long stretches - like a cop breaking the spirit of a prisoner who's just killed his best mate. I learned it from a magazine article - written by a man who knew what he was talking about. Cosmopolitan has never been any bloody help.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 7 June 2003 09:34 (twenty-two years ago)

u&k re technique finesse: has the prisoner killed the cop's best mate or his own best mate?

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark, the prisoner has killed the cop's best mate, who is another cop.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

''I cannot have love or hate feelings toward something which I know nothing about. Absolutely nothing about, to be clear. I must be the only 23-year-old female in the whole of the United States who hasn't at this point ever engaged in something even coming close to sexual intercourse. This one male I was interested in when I was 20 said I came across as frigid and, in his words, "nun-like", and that's why he would never be interested in me ever.''

replace ''23 year old female in the whole of the united states'' with 23 year old male in the UK and that's me. As far as the second part goes no female person has been interested in me.

''I don't know how I give off these vibes. I just don't know.''

haha dee are u me?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I kinda wish people'd just be more open w/their flirting, like "hey you I'm FLIRTING, etc".

oh thats bullshit andrew, you hate that shit.

sex can be really fucking great, but i'm not the right person to ask, its been proven time and time again that i have terrible taste in partners. i decided about a year ago that i would only have sex with people i like, and as a result of this i don't have sex at all. question: is sex with no-one preferable to sex with creeps?

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 7 June 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

is sex with no-one preferable to sex with creeps

yes yes a million times yes

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 7 June 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

well not all peope have the same amount of desire for sex. But we all love chocolate. The solution/ Chocofuck.

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Saturday, 7 June 2003 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Hanle y Deus I kiss you.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 June 2003 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

does sex rot your teeth?

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 7 June 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

You kiss divinity? Are your lips prepared for the price! Wear miracle smack lip gloss.

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Saturday, 7 June 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

um, Kenan, if you actually paid attention to the whole thread you'll have noticed that Ally renounced the (um...) position you excoriate her for quite a while ago.

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 7 June 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Shit.

Okay, that was me talking to the 2001 Ally, not the 2003 Ally.

I hope I never become a cokehead. I'm enough of an asshole already.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know about sex being serious buisness. sex is fun and stupid – sure it's a beautyful thing betwen two consenting people bla bla bla, it's also a fun thing to do when you're with a freind and board.

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

sex is natural sex is fun sex is best when it's one on one.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:59 (twenty-two years ago)

on one.

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

c-c-c-c-c-c-come on!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it's serious business too (I'm also a Scorpio). I guess I take it too seriously, and that's part of the reason why I'm not having any. I take things pretty seriously overall, though.

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 7 June 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Sex between two people is a beautiful thing.

Between five it's fantastic.

― Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 7 June 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Sex with Scorpios is great.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 7 June 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm more of a centipede man.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

You must drive the foot fetishers wild.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 7 June 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

they love me in a hundred ways

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Sex? i luv it. it would be nice to have a partner for a change tho

― Jrvision (visionjr), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

scorpios normally take sex seriously, eh¿
so are virgos usually complete whores, then¿

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 7 June 2003 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Usually. My Virgo experience has been pretty hott. But maybe that was a Catholic girl thing instead of a Virgo thing. Hard to tell.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

*hugs Julio* We can commiserate (sp?) together. Or celebrate together. Whichever. :)

Interesting thing, you know, this topic and everything? Because I just got through watching "9 1/2 Weeks" for perhaps the third time in my life (I love the movie in general), and it's just reaffirmed my belief that sex is best in a loving, serious relationship where the two people adore each other to bits. Otherwise it might possibly end up feeling cheap and dirty and wholly unfulfilling.

And now I must listen to Corey Hart's "Eurasian Eyes" again. Heh.

― Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 7 June 2003 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

"Sex without love is an empty pleasure. But as empty pleasures go, its one of the best."

< /hackneyed woody allen quote>

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 8 June 2003 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe that was a Catholic girl thing

isn't it always?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 8 June 2003 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Otherwise it might possibly end up feeling cheap and dirty and wholly unfulfilling.

This kind of sex can be pretty hott too.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 8 June 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Otherwise it might possibly end up feeling cheap and dirty and wholly unfulfilling.

This kind of sex can be pretty hott too.

Amen! Say it louder, sistah!

I guess I see sex.fucking in a completely different light from "making love." The latter is all fine and good and leaves me feeling warm and loved and intimate and closer to my lover. It's also something that happens just once in a while - a tender, intimate, relaxing exchange where we stare into each other's eyes and say gooey things and so forth.

But as for having sex/fucking - hell, that's fun and rauchy and dirty and noisy and wet and dangerous and thrilling and exhausting and sweaty and smelly and tasty and nasty and just plain wonderful. And I don't have to be in love with someone to have it. It's a physical interaction for me - emotions are not at the forefront of my concerns - the orgasm and raunch are.

Whereas when I am making love it is all about the emotions - I don't give a damn, at that point, whether or not an orgasm is even approached. It's a totally different drive and need and fulfillment.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Sunday, 8 June 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Kenan, fuck you too.

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 8 June 2003 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Right?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 8 June 2003 03:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, get on line, bub.

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 8 June 2003 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew that was a Laura post even before I scrolled down. ;-)

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 8 June 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Kenan, fuck you too.

I deserve that.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 06:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a bunch of stuff written and...

oh forget it.

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Sunday, 8 June 2003 07:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll blame it on that Scorpio thing

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Sunday, 8 June 2003 07:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It makes you crazy. It really does.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 08:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I was crazy enought about it before I got to the thread.

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Sunday, 8 June 2003 08:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan, I quoted you on the 'make you laugh' thread. you are great.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 8 June 2003 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)

''*hugs Julio* We can commiserate (sp?) together. Or celebrate together. Whichever. :)''

the spelling is korrect :-)

we can do both no?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 8 June 2003 09:27 (twenty-two years ago)

(Julio, she's totally coming on to you!)

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 8 June 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

and maybe soon he'll be coming on her

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 8 June 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

jess you sick fuc.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 8 June 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio, you must admit he has a point.

― Chris P (Chris P), Sunday, 8 June 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Hm. Not sick so much as unnecessary to mention. Kinda like taking a shit.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

(too busy to post)

― kephm, Sunday, 8 June 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew that was a Laura post even before I scrolled down. ;-)

Um, thank you? *grinning*

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 9 June 2003 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

so are virgos usually complete whores, then¿
I'm a virgo. I'm not a whore. But I am good in the sack or so I say.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 9 June 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm afriad i'm going to have to ask for some proof.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 9 June 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, thank you? *grinning*

Laura, you go, girl! Knew this frigging Florida heat had to be good for something.

Hmm, I've always enjoyed the hell out of sex (when I've had it): mainly the more inventive (and harder), the better;> [Though I also enjoy a pure cuddle.] However, I've also got this responsible side that kicks in and poos on the idea of casual sex. I've got to feel something for the person I'm with, else no dice.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 9 June 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

No, Laura, thank YOU! ;-)

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 9 June 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

My pleasure. Really *smile*

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Nichole - as much as it pains me to say it, my sex life has been dying a lingering, painful death since moving to Florida. Why, you ask?

Because of the damn humidity! When it's hot and sticky, I'm bitchy and moody and the last thing that I want is to touch another hot and sticky body. Ugh. So I run the A/C for much of the year, but it doesn't really do the job - basically the highlights of my sex life, on a yearly basis are the months of December and January. And any time I am out of the South, too. Otherwise, well, it takes a LOT to get me to a point where I'd consider being physically close to someone.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Laura, when it's really hot the BEST place for sexual fun is in the shower, I think. Especially if, like mine, your shower is large enough for three.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 9 June 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Ice cubes! (not to be confused with Ice Cube)

― Sarah McLusk (coco), Monday, 9 June 2003 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Spike Lee as Mookie to thread!

― hstencil, Monday, 9 June 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

um, NO

― oops (Oops), Monday, 9 June 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Hot + sweaty -> drink lots of mint juleps or mojitos -> drunken sloppy sex and "wetlands".

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 9 June 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

interestingly enough I'm watching "Roger Dodger" at the moment for the first time and there's this really interesting conversation at the beginning. To boil it down to the bits I liked most ideawise: Women have sex because they enjoy it; Men have sex because it makes them feel useful, like we're worth something, even as an act of control.

Me, I hate sex.

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG this film is BONZAI TELECASTERS

"He's not Daddy! He's just a guy in a suit!!"

I think Campbell Scott took a lot of his character from HST. Which makes it AWESOME

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

No, the cheapest, dirtiest, and most unfulfilling sex I've ever had was in a loving, serious relationship where the two people hated each other's guts. Really.

Oh, and I was 24 before I lost my virginity, for no other reason that I was scared of sex. And I seriously regret not having lost it five or six years before then.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 9 June 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

First off, the post from Christine:

No, the cheapest, dirtiest, and most unfulfilling sex I've ever had was in a loving, serious relationship where the two people hated each other's guts. Really.

Well, that just boggles my mind. How can there be a "loving, serious" relationship when the two people involved "hated each other's guts"? Wouldn't it be more along the lines of a "destructive, dysfunctional" relationship?

I do have to say, though, that destructive, dysfunctional relationships in general are absolutely the worst, period. Full stop. No questions about it. (She says without elaborating....)

Oh, and I was 24 before I lost my virginity, for no other reason that I was scared of sex. And I seriously regret not having lost it five or six years before then.

That was you and I am me. If you had regrets about that, then I will let you own your regrets and keep them (i.e. I won't try to convince you otherwise). Everyone has them, but mine are about different things. I certainly don't regret this aspect of my life. :)

Julio said:

we can do both no?

Yeah! Online, of course. Have a little "don't pity" party. I'll bring the cake and you can bring in the streamers, and we'll pitch in the cost of wine. We'll host the entire ILX community and -- what's that, you say? "Let the poor horse rest in peace?" Ok.

(Julio, she's totally coming on to you!)
-- Chris Piuma

NO I AM NOT. I'm just trying to be friendly, y'know? Reach out to Someone Who Knows What the Deal Is.

and maybe soon he'll be coming on her
-- jess

OH THAT IS TWISTED! Very funny, admittedly, but still -- bad jess. Very bad. [rest of reply omitted by sensible, "I'm not walking into anything" side of brain]

Finally, I do have to say that my opinions on this issue are my own and I'm not trying to sway anyone one way or another, much like your opinions are yours and you would (hopefully) never try to sway anyone one way or another. I appreciate hearing all the responses from you people and your differing opinions. Even if we disagree, you've given me some satisfying brain food to chew on.

― Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 9 June 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I give the latter stages of this thread a fun factor of zero.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 9 June 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

*sticks out tongue*

Didn't you get the memo? I don't do fun. I'm here expressly to ruin everyone's day. ;)

― Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

You're just mad no one is coming onto you, N.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, right.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

my mind is still boggling over colin's treat the clitoris like a cop would a crim who's just killed yer best mate. what do you do in the intervals between slapping it around...pace the room fuming?

― gaz (gaz), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometimes you hate your mate's guts, sometimes you love your mate to pieces.

I'm not trying to convince you to change your mind, either. I'm just hoping that you realize that it can be difficult to *stop* avoiding sex in a committed relationship if you get too good at avoiding it outside of one.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Who hates sex???? MORANS!

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Gaz, you're the only one who pays attention to my posts. What the hell's wrong with you?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Who hates sex???? MORANS!

http://www.melroseiowa.com/july4/July42001/morans.jpg

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

hey colin i read your posts too!!1

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Martin - I could regale you with a story about a leather party I went to, when I first moved to Florida, that was held at a Leather Daddy's house - where he lived with several of his boys - oh, and he was a body-piercer, too.

Anyway, that's the party where this woman walked up to me, lifted her shirt and said "I just got 'em done - waddya think?" and I was left without a response (she'd just had her nipples pierced - went on that year to be a "Ms. Leather" something or other).

Anyway, back, through the main bedroom (one of many) was the Master (er, pun un-avoidable) bath - with an open-air/walk-in shower - with 12 (yeah, 12! I counted, twice!) showerheads and room for many - I seem to recall several people in bondage to the various showerheads throughout the evening. I still fantasize about that damn shower! (Not about the party or the people there, though - it was a bit over the top, even for me - I am just not enough of a voyeur to get off watching some strange woman being doubly-fisted by some strange men. My boy liked the viewing, though. I ended-up sitting on the floor, in a corner, discussing macrame [there were a couple of hippies who liked to macrame "volunteers" into their wall-hangings - too cool!] and trying to ignore my surroundings. *sigh*)

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

[there were a couple of hippies who liked to macrame "volunteers" into their wall-hangings - too cool!]

Hey, something new to try!

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to parties with Laura from now on.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Fond of macrame, are you?

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 04:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Macrame and fisting.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 05:11 (twenty-two years ago)

The new bestseller by Martha Stewart

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 05:17 (twenty-two years ago)

*choking* Why did you have to go and bring Ms. Bitch into this, oops?! Sheesh. Now I will never be able to fully appreciate macrame any more - I'll just picture her (the evil one) all caught-up in the design and critiquing it and stuff. I will never again be able to savor the pure pleasures of such a simple handcraft.

Kenan - that was the *old* me - the new me is pure and virginal and innocent and completely reformed and stuff - I just tell the stories as cautionary tales (I'm thinking about going on the gospel tent/testifying circuit - there's big money in that, right?) - I would never participate in such events ever again. (Get to SF often? I just heard of a new offering on the leather smorgasbord out there.)

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

But if you stop participating in such events, you might run out of stories! Please, reconsider!

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 06:29 (twenty-two years ago)

My girlfriend and I went to a night called Cocktails and Spanking recently. There was also table tennis. I'm a pretty good player.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 08:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Where on earth do these parties take place???

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 08:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus Christ some of you people are fucked up. I'm sorry.

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

If you don't like sex, you're probably doing it wrong. Are you remembering to stimulate the clitoris and/or penis?

― NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh! Oh the penis! I thought you were supposed to stimulate the duodenum. Let me try again and see if I like it better this time.

― Chris P (Chris P), Wednesday, 11 June 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

Guys who get freaked out by women's issues/ bodies etc piss me off. The amount of guys who've told me about their personal hang ups and I've been, like, "fecking get over it".

Anyway, this thread was dead but I wanna re-open it and call it "I HATE PORN" and have the ILX mob go on a rant about burning Jenna Jameson.

Weekid!

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Years ago I was at a friend's house and he had this porn mag lying on his table, right, I forget which one it was, and the cover featured Jenna Jameson throating robot cock. I will never forget this image, I forget the headline but it was suitably totally bizarre. I wasn't sure whether I found this image totally inspiring or horrifying.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Hardcore porn is, invariably, not a turn on for me. I try and explain this to friends - "the minute you see a guy's dick how can you still be turned on?" and then you couple that with the fact that you look totally ridiculous having sex too (the guy looks like a neanderthal for a start). Plus, what is it with porno filmmakers that makes them want to film from behind the guy's butt or slip in reaction shots of the guy's face? Totally gross.

I said to a friend the other day that the sexiest piece of film footage ever is when Kim Basinger strips for Mickey Rourke in 9 and a Half Weeks. You see nothing, but it's the sensuality of it. I'm more into that than two people going it at lightning speed on camera.

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

god bless us, e'ry one.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

The only redeeming thing about this thread at all is the part where i say "BONZAI TELECASTERS" and I have no idea what that is even supposed to mean. Roger Dodger still a good movie though. This thread still basically ugly and bad.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 22 December 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, I'm trying really hard to do the gareth seriousness thing and I just cannot reply to that last missive on porn in any sort of seriousness at all. Porn should all involve robots.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Midget robots.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 December 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Midget robots while mariachis play jovial tunes in the background of the scene.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I heart you, Ally.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

(*bwacka chicka bwamb bow*)

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It's perfectly natural to be scared shitless of any image that resembles your own genitals, I think. I know sometimes if I have an erection and I catch myself in the mirror, say if I'm getting into the shower in and I still have morning wood, I'll be kind of horrified for a second, like when you see one of those lifesize cardboard actor cutouts out of the corner of your eye and you think it's a real person for a second, and then all of a sudden my willy just shrinks down to about the size of a rigatoni and I can feel safe again.

I really hate those Conan movies. Why can't he just wear a fucking shirt?

― TOMBOT, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Kisses!

total xpost stop ruining me and luna making out!!!

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean ugh, guys shouldn't be involved in porno, weren't you listening? God.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, i agree. it should all be pink glitter dildoes and hitachi magic wands. (i almost typed 'wangs.)

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah but in American porn they all have no foreskins so the thing is like a weird mushroom type of hybrid that looks agitated and painful. Seriously gruesome.

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Why are you looking at guys' shlongs, you ninny?!

― O-man (Oops), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. I don't know how anyone can stand to have sex with a man. I mean, ugh.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually being completely honest, I think the best porn would just be some hot girls looking like they just got out of bed preparing a full 5-course meal in a big kitchen but wearing just thongs and no tops.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

YES

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Well it's nice to see the two of you finally seeing eye to eye on something.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

And perhaps occasionally forgetting to replace the lid on the food processor before turning it on.

xpost.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, Sam, luna, I have a business proposition for you...

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Well that's what i'm saying - so called "straight porn" has this weird emphasis on guy's bits, doesn't it? That immediately stops it being anything close to sexy IMO - plus there's nothing left to your imagination either.

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

This is totally correct. You are like Moses leading us through the Red Sea.

― Allyzay, Monday, 22 December 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum don't worry about it so much, who cares

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

TOMBOT you could be the Hefner of the new millenium with that idea.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

the Brits have an Axe (aka Lynx) body-spray ad they show in the cinemas, parts of which I am mortified to say turns me the fuck on. It's sort of along those lines. Does that make Axe body spray the Hefner of the new millenium?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

or does that honor belong to Calum?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze3237g/images/axe_body_spray.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a cock with a bear's body, but I don't get it... I don't think...

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you may be on to something, Ally.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

c-man, are you ashamed of your penis?

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I couldn't find any pictures of topless line-cooks.

xpost

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

personally, i quite enjoy seeing throbbing cocks in my porn.

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Purist.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah.

x-post.

― ModJ (ModJ), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I keep picturing these big circumcised cocks chasing Calum around and he's like "no, noooo!" and he's got his hands over his eyes so he keeps bumping into things.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you broke my head.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Better porn vs. bedwetter porn. I am on the winning side.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahhahahahaha.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

b-but i can't cook!

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

's okay sugar, I can.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i'll just fuck up the food processing, then.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Oopsie, left the top off - looks like we're all covered in whipped cream AGAIN!

(not that you would whip cream in a food processor - but you could).

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 22 December 2003 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

STOP IT

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Sweeeet...

― ModJ (ModJ), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

If there's no cocks, Calum, what do you identify with?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

On a serious not I have never, ever encountered anyone who is quite as scared of sex as you are, C-Man. And I've known some really shagophobic people.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometimes they are shagophobic before I get nekkid too.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Scared of sex? HA! The guy clearly never read my first post on this thread about blokes with hang ups. Dude, I'm so not scared of sex, I just think don't dig hard porn.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno what else you put in a food processor besides whipped cream, caramel, maybe chocolate sauce or some kind of oil??

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

The only thing I don't like about sex is the time taken way from me by thinking about it.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Peeled fruit.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

tomatoes, jalapenos and onions?

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:07 (twenty-two years ago)

ONIONS!!! We should put all of these ingredients together and just see what happens. It's like a science porno

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

sex food = kiwi fruit
oral sex food = salmon roe

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

i do not think caviar on the titties would make good pr0n. perhaps i am wrong?

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:31 (twenty-two years ago)

nonnono - not on titties!
i will leave the rest to your imaginations.....;-)

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

We're getting dangerously, dangerously close to territory I do not want to invoke.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Avocado.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

here let's just kill this dead right now.

POP ROCKS

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

haha altoids. OMG THIS THREAD JUST REMINDED ME OF THAT HORRIBLE THING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH PUDDING POPS ARRRGH I hate sex yet again. GOD.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:35 (twenty-two years ago)

what a great thread.

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:47 (twenty-two years ago)

*blinks*

*blinks some more*

*blinks again*

p.s.: I still want that damn pity party. Wonder if Julio's still interested in joining in. (NOTHING SEXUAL YOU PERVERTED FREAKS.)

― Tenacious Dee (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah, and I'M GOING TO BE TURNING 24 VERY, VERY SOON AND THE SITUATION HAS NOT CHANGED HA HA HA HA HA WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?

*ahem*

As you were.

― Tenacious Dee (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean perverted and freaky?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 03:53 (twenty-two years ago)

calum, if there's no dicks in porn then what do you imagine yourself sucking!?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

or rather, what is one to imagine themselves sucking?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean perverted and freaky?

Damn skippy. *laughs*

― Tenacious Dee (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

dude Sterling i think The Ring is corrupting yr grammar!

xpost - Dee I hope you and Julio have a happy and merry holiday time!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 04:35 (twenty-two years ago)

erm "oneself"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 04:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Awesome, dood

― ModJ (ModJ), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 04:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ok, is the food processor stuff before or after the lingerie party/pillow fight?

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 06:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Does it really matter?

― ModJ (ModJ), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 06:09 (twenty-two years ago)

of course it matters. you have to PLAN OUT a proper food/lingerie/pillow event.

(xp)

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

You sound like you speak from experience.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

well, only with a few demo reels, but nothing that i would really call an ELABORATE production... Getting the funding is harder than one would think.

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

There was some prog on TV recently where these 2 lads decided to make their own porno, and so went to a bar and asked girls if they wanted to be in it. That did not work, so one of them went to ask around his sister's friends and they smiled puzzledly and all said no too.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Many a great plan falls by the wayside.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Honestly I am thinking Hanley's first post to this thread was the only post necessary.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 23 December 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

hello to all my fellow asexuals. 2+ years and counting. Sex.. uhhh.. good God.. what is it good for.... absolutely NOTHING..

― yeshua a yaweh, Saturday, 13 March 2004 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

orgasms

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Saturday, 13 March 2004 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

tension relief

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Saturday, 13 March 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

transmission of diseases

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 13 March 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

fixing a hole to stop your mind from wandering

― Patrick Kinghorn, Saturday, 13 March 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

fighting the power

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 13 March 2004 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"my fellow asexuals"?! Oh my God, yeshua, you're about as good at reading full threads in this forum as I was about nine or ten months ago, i.e. not very.

Oh yes, and I don't have as much of a hangup about the thing I mentioned three and nine months ago as I did back then. I'm in control of everything now so phooey on you. Or something.

(Yes, I do like to say, "or something", BTW.)

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 14 March 2004 00:13 (twenty-two years ago)

it's good for making babies too

― Maria (Maria), Sunday, 14 March 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

you must be doing it wrong.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 14 March 2004 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is so weird

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

but yes, scorpios.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

so weird? or so wired?

― Patrick Kinghorn, Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

too lazy to read the whole thread, but, SEX IS CREEPY.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

care to elaborate?

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

creepy or crappy?

― Patrick Kinghorn, Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

sex is really scary! it's just... intimidating and frightening, and i really need to care about people on a very deep level before i even begin wanting to fuck them.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

true dat, I am such such shit at casual sex.

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

i wish i could comment more, but i seem to have forgotten everything about it on the whole. que lastima.

― Kingfish Cowboy (Kingfish), Sunday, 14 March 2004 01:54 (twenty-two years ago)

My body keeps telling me that it's just about sex, but I keep suspecting that my emotional neediness has learned how to throw its voice...this way lies bunny-boiling.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 14 March 2004 06:40 (twenty-two years ago)

so then it's not sex that's creepy, but sex with strangers, which I can understand.

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 14 March 2004 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm done with sex with strangers. however sex with friends seems so much more complicated. . .

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Sunday, 14 March 2004 08:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't hate sex.

I hate the rituals in the clubs and bars that come before you "come". Guys faking confidence and acting like they really care, girls faking basically everything. That dumb conversations about stupid shit, and all that "I'm gonna put my hand on her shoulder now, and I'll pretend it's just because it's relly crowded in here and not because I'm trying to fuck her eventually". I am yet to meet a girl who I realy like and actually want to talk to and buy her nice things and make silly nicknames for her. And I hate when people fake all that fluffy stuff after and before sex, when all they really want is to fuck.

I was in love once, and it was beautiful, but I met that girl at college, not in the club or discotheque. And I knew her for six months before anything happened.

― gimikz (gimikz), Sunday, 14 March 2004 08:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Sex and love don't always go together.

The games you describe often only relate to sex and not love. For that, should they be faulted? In the best instances both parties know the game at hand; both benefit.

― Ask For Janice (thatgirl), Sunday, 14 March 2004 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I had three orgasms yesterday and one of them was in company. But Ian's right - sex IS creepy.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 14 March 2004 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"girls faking basically everything"

You're moving in the wrong circles buddy :) I fake nothing and if who I am isn't good enough I'd rather find out sooner than later, hence the "no pretending to be anything i'm not" vow I've taken.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Sunday, 14 March 2004 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I like sex, but there are elements of my attitude towards it that don't make sense. Like, if my partner doesn't want it - which doesn't happen often - I feel slightly relieved, like it's almost a luxury to go to sleep without having sex first. Also, I don't like hard core sex films, whereas I think I ought to.

― Bunged Up. (Jake Proudlock), Sunday, 14 March 2004 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Fucking is pretty fucking great, but having your back scratched afterwards is even better.

― Momus (Momus), Sunday, 14 March 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

god. lately sex has become so worthless. i am much more in favor of prolonged flirting with people far out of your league; there's really no pressure there. sex is just uncomfortable and awkward and horrid.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 13 May 2004 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is almost entirely perfect

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Thursday, 13 May 2004 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

IS THIS REVIVAL A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR ME????? YOU'RE A DAY EARLY!!! KISSES!!!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 13 May 2004 02:48 (twenty-two years ago)

hooray! love yer email address ally!

― mullygrubber (gaz), Thursday, 13 May 2004 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

kekekeke.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 13 May 2004 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm celebrating Ally's b-day tomorrow by getting my first acupuncture treatment!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 13 May 2004 03:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm celebrating it by trying not to cry from this toothache.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 13 May 2004 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll be celebrating it by having sex. A WINNER IS ME.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 13 May 2004 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

good work ally.

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 13 May 2004 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I think what I find most comforting about this thread is that it proves it is actually possible to go from hating sex to enjoying it again.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 13 May 2004 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: hating sex in general vs. hating the sex yr getting

― Ian Johnson (orion), Thursday, 13 May 2004 05:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i hate the sex i'm not getting. Where does that fit in?

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 13 May 2004 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I know what IHS stands for!!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 13 May 2004 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

(sorry, that was really low)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 13 May 2004 05:33 (twenty-two years ago)

ilswsgs.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 13 May 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I the only person here who absolutely hates sex? Why do you people talk about it so much? You guys talk about jerking off more than I talk about my own ass

jerking off = sex??

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 13 May 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

it's sex with someone you love, etc.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm quite fond of my hand i suppose.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

..and so is Britney.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 13 May 2004 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

britney is fond of my hand?

todd swiss 1
nearly everyone else 0

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 13 May 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

Sex just distracts you from more important things: the cricket!

― Justen, Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

word

― jase, Thursday, 24 November 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

I was in love once, and it was beautiful, but I met that girl at college, not in the club or discotheque.

I just felt that needed reiteration.

― emilys. (emilys.), Saturday, 26 November 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

are any other straight guys at odds with their own jism ? it's supposed to mean a great deal to me that girls accept (translation- swallow or cosy up to) my cum. i just find it getting in the way.

incidentally, i don't have any corresponding issues with female fluids. not a single one.

― mbott, Saturday, 26 November 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

Worst pick-up line ever.

― n/a (Nick A.), Saturday, 26 November 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

like i'd bring my issues into small talk like that.

you didn't answer me anyway.

― mbott, Saturday, 26 November 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

"cosy up to"?

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Sunday, 27 November 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

C ON T, OBV.

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Sunday, 27 November 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

at odds with it?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

mbott, find someone you trust completely, who is willing to castrate you.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

"supposed to"? according to who?

pls realise that most pornographers aren't particularly concerned with portraying the truth of these issues.

― Kim (Kim), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it's the planning for it that's knocking you for a loop.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 27 November 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

i geuss i'm a little put off by younger girls who were socialised differently than i was, and who have their own issues stemming from trying (?) to imitate porno, or else in act in some way that is supposely sex positive.

then again maybe it is in the planning.

― m bott, Sunday, 27 November 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

don't use sex as a weapon

― gershy, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:15 (nineteen years ago)

Ally, summoner of Weezer songs

― kingfish, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:21 (nineteen years ago)

or pat benatar

― gershy, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:33 (nineteen years ago)

there's a difference?

― kingfish, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:34 (nineteen years ago)

pussies vs. vagina

― gershy, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:36 (nineteen years ago)

? there's a difference?

― kingfish, Monday, 4 June 2007 06:40 (nineteen years ago)

Vaginas have better self-esteem.

― Hey Jude, Monday, 4 June 2007 15:38 (nineteen years ago)

Sex is the most perfect thing our bodies can do pernod.

― Mark G, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.pernod.net/img/home/prehome_fond.jpg

― TOMBOT, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

per nod

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

well, i was just on the phone to sex, and it hates YOU

― darraghmac, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

SEX says she's faking it, Mark. But does that matter to you? ;)

― Hey Jude, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

i can tell.

― Mark G, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

Then sex is the most perfect thing your male body can do. Got it.

― Hey Jude, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

tombot when do you make this i would like a copy please

― max, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

Girls who think sex is dull at 22 often grow into women obsessed with it at 36, in part because the line of guys taking a number to get into their trousers has drastically dwindled.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

nope, other way around for me.

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

So you were bored with sex then and are even boreder now, or you have blossomed into a superfreak?

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

Or was there no line at 22 and there's a queue around the block now?

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

no, i was obsessed with sex at 22, bored with it at 36.

though you'd probably still say that was related to the length of the "line".

― Masonic Boom, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:35 (nineteen years ago)

I cannot believe there's never been an "I rate sex." parody thread.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, hang on. The rest of the board.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not necessarily making any generalizations about what happens to freaky chix as they age, but in my experience, they just get freakier.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

So, er, I guess the conclusion is that women are apt to get freaky at some point. You just gotta wait 'em out.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

This is all backed up by super-scientific research, BTW.

― libcrypt, Monday, 4 June 2007 17:40 (nineteen years ago)

Irate Sex?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 07:33 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, I was thinking about this last night. I don't actually hate sex, neither am I bored with actual sex. What I'm bored with and hate is all the stupid crap you have to go through to *get* it from someone you'd actually want to have sex with.

― Masonic Boom, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

haha ok that's pretty much otm for me

― electricsound, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 11:20 (nineteen years ago)

Is the thread-starting ally = adam schefter ha ha?

― libcrypt, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

pernoid

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

p-noid

― Jordan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:48 (nineteen years ago)

Hate sex deserves harsher penalties.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

hate-cuddling

― Jordan, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

i just pretend to like sex to get girls to sleep with me

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

"hey babe check it out I like sex"
I should've thought of that YEARS ago

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 17:58 (nineteen years ago)

I don't actually hate sex, neither am I bored with actual sex.

likewise i think i'm falling into some sort of groucho marx trap here where i'm only bored with the women who will actually sleep with me.

― chicago kevin, Tuesday, 5 June 2007 18:40 (nineteen years ago)

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