'New' Look NME: Why Are The Reviews So Short?

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Why are there hardly any reviews in NME now and why are the reviews so small? Do they not want to pay too much per word to their employees now? I only ever bought it for the reviews as the news section is worthless now due to the advent of their own website.
Any magazines have a good reviews section that anyone can recommend?

― Christopher McGarry, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

There are only so many things you can say about the new rock.

If you want longer reviews Pitchfork Media has four every day I'm told.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Its not just NME, almost every music magazine has been leaning towards slashing wordcounts over the last five years or so, the understanding being that readers buy the magazines for the pictures over the writing. i disagree.

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Why are there hardly any reviews in NME now and why are the reviews so small?

Doh!!!! Because everyone know reading is for sad old anoracks and not hip young rock rebels!!!!! I'd expect they'd say: "Phew, Crikey!!! If you want to read, go get a book on trainspotting, Grandad!!!!!"

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I missed the reviews last time I read the NME, but mostly because the magazine kept slipping out of my hands due to the number of glossy White Stripes posters. COME BACK, COME BACK I SAY, (I said), to the quickly disappearing NME, but alas it was lost, lost to the floor where rub music rags go to die.

So hey - we DON'T buy magazines for pictures eh Stevie!

Cor I'm almost tempted to go and buy the NME at lunchtime, it's like being back in college on this thread! Shall we go to the pub?? Oh I can skip English this week.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

So hey - we DON'T buy magazines for pictures eh Stevie!

i think we buy magazines for words and pictures; i'm not interested in a magazine that's heavily slanted in favour of one element to the detriment of the other, which is why i've always thought style mags to be essentially useless. if it won't keep you enthralled for a long train journey then it is NOT DOING ITS JOB PROPERLY.

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Without wanting to turn into the board's resident IPC-brainwashed NME apologist can I respectfully point out that last week but one there were four pages of album reviews including at least 1,000 words on the Franz Ferdinand record, plus a track-by-track by the band themselves and a sidebar about the 'offical' bootleg. That's pretty thorough.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 12:30 (twenty-two years ago)

That FF review was, how you say, remarkably thorough wasn't it...

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Shirokumas single review:

Moonlight in the Afternoon.

"Makes us want to have sex in dressing-up clothes"

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd just like to stand up for style mags.. sleazenation and the face have always had lots of good long articles as well as pictures of girls with their norks out

― snd, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

style mags cover music better than music mags anyway

― Stringent Stepper (Stringent), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

style mags cover music better than music mags anyway

i've heard this argument before, and while i loved dan stacey's stuff in sleazenation, that was a good few years ago. the last style mag music stuff i read was jt leroy's von bondies piece and the distillers feature in the latest ID, and they were both unforgiveably atrocious.

my problem with style mags is that page after page of models staring vacantly out of pseudo-edgy posed panaramas of sordidness means page after page skipped within seconds for me. and i don't buy magazines to sigh exasperatedly at page after page of upperclass twats slumming conspicuously.

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

But I thought you liked the Strokes. *hides*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

*fumes, while secretly admiring ned's gift for comic timing*

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Stringent Stepper OTM.

― s n d, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't believe anyone would be happy with the current reviews section of NME. Even Q magazine has cut back.
Do publishers think the youth of today have short attention spans and prefer soundbites and ringtones?

― Christopher McGarry, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather look at vacant models wearing pretty clothes than anyone the NME sees fit to put on their posters.

I think style magazines write about pop well, I really enjoyed reading the pieces on Xtina and Beyoncé in the Face in the past year. (It may well have been the first time I'd read the otm Xtina = new Madonna comparison.) I can't imagine they'd write about, er, 'real' music as well but then I doubt I'd be interested in reading about the Von Bondies anywhere anyway.

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

yup.
(the short attention span thing)

― jellybean (jellybean), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Do publishers think the youth of today have short attention spans and prefer soundbites and ringtones?

Publishers, TV producers, radio producers, politicians, etc etc etc

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

that's why films have to have short flashy scenes, everything is written in soundbites, and singles can't be longer than 3mins long (even that franz ferdinand had to have half their single chopped off for radio play)

― jellybean (jellybean), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

What age are the writers/editorial team at NME? Or do they get told from elsewhere what to publish? i.e. Marketing Analysts

― Christopher McGarry, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"Do publishers think the youth of today have short attention spans and prefer soundbites and ringtones?"

I work for a very venerable, 100-something-year-old cultural/literary magazine in the USA and even our publisher wants shorter articles and brighter, sound-bite graphics.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i blame the internet, as it has increased the speed at which we receive and pass on information consequently reducing our attention span in some cases. perhaps this is what many publications have identified and are trying to compete with.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Crikey!!! I wonder what the 2020 equivalenty of NME is going to be like:

"ALBUMS:
Son of The Strokes: "1979.64"
Ug!!! Me Like!!!!"

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Or perhaps just a "thumbs up" icon!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Graded thus:
:( OMG WTF LOL
:( OMG WTF
:( OMG
:(
:)
:) OMG
:) OMG WTF
:) OMG WTF LOL

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

In answer to Christopher's question, the bulk of NME's newish writers (Tim Jonze, Krissi Murison, Dan Martin) are around 24. Some freelancers are younger than that (Rick Martin's the youngest - in his teens). The featues/live/albums editors are all a bit older (26-30) and the designers and subs are older still. The editor, Conor, is 28 I believe. Older than the last one who was the youngest ever but considerably younger than Steve Sutherland who's still around and in his late-40s.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

they should get Thom Yorke to edit it for a week like he did with the Today programme - i'd buy it

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Alex, I agree with you that style mags generally write abt pop better but it's not saying much. Almost all pieces in the NME get hampered by the fact that the writer needs to make a point along the lines of, "Hey, the Strokes are all very well but...!" and Q seems to do quite well re: juicy qoutes and such but is basically held back by the fact that it's Q.

I didn't see the Distillers piece in ID but there was one in the Face which was faintly horrible, quasi-pornographic tattle better suited to the Daily Star. I don't even like the Distillers that much.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

week after that, Dizzee Rascal - just have a guest editor every week, it'd be the HIGNFY of the music press

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

The editor, Conor, is 28 I believe.

He looks about half that however... I wonder if he gets ID'd in pubs

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Crikey!!! I wonder what the 2020 equivalenty of NME is going to be like:
"ALBUMS:
Son of The Strokes: "1979.64"
Ug!!! Me Like!!!!"

ha ha!!!!

i dunno. from what i hear from several high-powered locomotive pr's - the editor of the nme is more interested in selling music magazines than music. and tells *that* darkness story with pride. sad state, really.

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

last week but one there were four pages of album reviews

Which is hella lot less than they had only 4 or 5 years ago. I haven't read NME in that long though.

ha ha -- erm, yeah shockah the nme wants to sell copies of the nme...

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"the editor of the nme is more interested in selling music magazines than music."

Now I don't mean to snipe here, but have you really thought about this one?

Er, x-post

― Jason J, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

but what about the music, maaan? yeah, i know about that, everybody wants to sell, but he admitted to the pr that he did not give a toss about music. he just wants to sell issues.

i get bored with that. and from what i pick up when i occassionally read ilxor.com i find the whole 'behind the scenes' thing, bewildering.

can i ask a question from anybody posting or lurking - was the music journalism of the 70s/80s better? more fun? less, umm, of *this* and more about the music and fun?

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

yes it was better. over the past few years, i've often thought i'd be better off as a photographer

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I think four pages of album reviews has been about par for the course the whole time I've been reading it, actually (since '93). Depends what time of the year it is

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I could be wrong -- though I think they have bigger pix now. It was always about the incredibly self-indulgent 45s page for me, though...

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps thats why all the "strokes are the greatest band ever" "Jet is the best debut album of the last 20 years" stuff all rings hollow.
If NME isnt interested in music, then maybe thats why music fans just aren't interested in NME anymore.

― Christopher McGarry, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:25 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha, Actually, I don't mind the editor of the NME being interested in selling copies per se, I just don't see the flipping point of selling a music magazine by reducing the actual music content to microdot proportions!!!!

BTW Four pages of the current format = how many of the older broadsheet NME format?

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Doomie my guess is that

- the criticism was better
- the 'journalism' (fact-checking, training etc.) was worse
- the level of bitchiness and gossip was the same

NME in the 80s had a big period of de-emphasising music.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i've written a few articles but the politics and the bitching just makes it seem 'oh so pointless'. that and the endless corporate cocksucking to achieve anything. i had a naive sense that it would be like, ummm, a bunch of people who really loved music and art but it seems so careerist. and dull. there are some who aren't like that but it is the minority. i jacked it in before i properly started!

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

tom, sorry, mate, this is not doomie.

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

why are the reviews so short, because the people involved don't remember the golden era of Melody Maker 1987/1988.

Also much of the music that NME champion these days is simpleton retro/ regressive/ trad conformist songs rock that doesm't warrant analysis.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Oops - well sorry whoever then!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

its not the nme, per say, but music magazines in general. where is the love?

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i want obsessiveness and passion back in the press. never going to happen is it?

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Passion = ILX worm-can interface

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i am just about to hurl myself under a bus

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

This is deep-level irony but if you wanted to raise these points with the editor of the NME he's currently doing an interview with readers. By text message.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

it would hurt my thumb - the bus is the way to go

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

why would i want to read an interview of the editor?

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

How laticsimon?

― Christopher McGarry, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

what's that brian wilson song: 'i just wasn't made for these times'. the above post has confirmed it. i would have had a better shot without the aggravation if i attempted same in another decade!

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

INTERVIEW NME EDITOR CONOR MCNICHOLAS IN THE NME LOUNGE!

In the week the NME AWARDS take place, NME editor CONOR McNICHOLAS will be dropping into the NME LOUNGE tomorrow (February 10), giving you the chance to quiz him.

The man himself will be in a live text chat from 4pm tomorrow, and we need you to send in your questions. The best will then be asked during the interview and you'll get responses from Conor as it happens. So whether its about the Awards shows, the tour, or even who HE thinks should win at this year's ceremony, he'll be on hand to tell you exactly what he thinks.

NME Lounge is the hottest new mobile service for rock fans and takes you closer to the NME Awards and the bands you love.

Wanna chat? If you are not registered to NME Lounge you will need to do so by sending your preferred nickname (space) age and gender to 07797 800 080 - eg. noel 21M
Send your question to nickname CONOR.

Send your text message to 07797 800 080 by 4pm Tuesday 10th Feb.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

is this a corporate branding exercise?

i'm depressed.

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

thud... splat... goodnight

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha, you must be on crack if you think NME was ever abt sticking it to the mang. it's a fucking for-profit magazine!

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm talking about music magazines in general, enrique.

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm glad to have escaped relatively early and young without coming to this realisation ten years down the road.

― ha ha, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

For all this, last week's reviews section did make me want to check out Telefon Tel Aviv new album. Can't see Q ever mentioning them.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I buy NME and roll it up tightly into a big thick paper weapon whereupon I belt the first person I meet on the way into the pub, usually braining them and earning myself the respect of all the geezers down the watering hole who know better than to mess. Right?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck off!

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

VIBE REVIEWED TELEFON TEL AVIV!
if this is a breakthru for nme, then it's ina sorrier state than i thought

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

doomie, i brought that david shire lp down from my parents so i should be mp3ing that later this week, if you are still interested in it, or havent got it elsewhere. i brought down some similar lps as well, hopefully i can make a start on getting some of this stuff digitized in the next week or so. i'll stick it on slsk when its done.

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

"the editor of the nme is more interested in selling music magazines than music."

i've hesitated wading in to this argument so far, partly becauuse my opinion would obviously be clouded by my experiences, partly because of the predictability of both my stance and the repostes that will be flung from certain interested corners, and partly because these truths seem self-evident to me. but discretion is a better part of valour all too alien in my world, so here goes.

i have no problems with the editor of NME being more interested in selling magazines than music; indeed, that is his/her job. but with all the dumbing-down (arguable but pretty obvious) of the press under the aegis that long reviews/interviews don't sell magazines, while expanded 'news' (ie gosip) sections and picture heavy magazines, why are these magazines selling less than ever before?

i never really read the NME during my teens and uni years; i preferred the melody maker of 91-95, the writers were better, the attitude more open and less insulting, the music covered more to my tastes. but it wasn't just about music; for me, in those years, that magazine was my bible. it covered politics (admittedly, music and politics were more closely related back then) and wrote about TV and movies with authority but also a leftfield slant. through melody maker i discovered kids in the hall, the day today, larry sanders, etc. as an introduction into the cultural world, it was superlative - informed and reliable, but also choosing its own path.

now, there's nothing worse than a no-longer-a-youth grouching about youth culture, but i just feel that youth media is failing its culture and its readership as it currently stands. if i were 15 again now, i've no idea what i'd be reading to introduce me to all this culture. i dare say i'd feel faintly insulted by the assumption that i can only communicate via text, that my attention span has shrunken to that of a brain-damaged goldfish, and that only the lowest commond denominator will satisfy my palsied palate. and i think that's a shame.

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I'd never heard of them up to then. There were also (looking here) reviews of 000, Send More Paramedics, Spy 51, Beans, The Magnificents... Get my drift? It's fairly comprehensive.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Huh? Ha ha ain't me?? Regarding the David Shire, I got it already Gareth. Paid a tonne. By the way saw you on the 91 this week on caledonian road. Are you follwoing me?

I like the NME. Lately I've been enjoying Enquirer more. But that is because I got this coffee table book of Enquirer photography since it started. It has this strange David LaChappelle feel to it. If the NME got David to do photos for them it would roxx.

Though i see now problem with the review section I think perhaps it would be cool if it was expanded. The review sections are the only bits that I read. I have attention span for music writing like, nil. I like the 'new bands' part as well.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

that Beans mini-LP is fab. i think i prefer it to his Anti-Pop Consortium stuff...

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Martian - you're showing yr age - I remember that so-called golden period at MM. Simon Reynolds writing 5,000 word essays on The Young Gods, David Stubbs with hair , Allan Jones with not a word about country music, The Primitives on the cover - who remembers The Adam Clayton corner?

― Robert Moore (treble), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth have you heard of Michael Small?? You might like!

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

As a 23 year old I hopefully count as a 'yoot' (I'm in the 18-24 demographic) and I'm grouching about it too -- and have been for a few years. There must be something wrong. None of my friends read NME either.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I have attention span for music writing like, nil.

and you are a writer? what a strange thing to say.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I liked the special 50th Anniversary Issue of NME. That bugger was so thick that when I rolled it up and brained some poor bugger with it I actually think he may have gone into a temporary coma! Luckily for me I rushed out the pub and never went back (I was visiting my mate Posho Percy in Cornwall). The point is that I have no guilt cos if you're going to advertise how NUTTY you are then you got to live up to it, know what I mean?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

shut up you spastic

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the NME ... The review sections are the only bits that I read.

Something about this doesn't read right "Jimmy The Saint"

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"It has this strange David LaChappelle feel to it. If the NME got David to do photos for them it would roxx. "

See NME, 7 February 2004. Cover star: Courtney Love - photographed by David Lachapelle.

― Mog, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I have attention span for music writing like, nil.
and you are a writer? what a strange thing to say.

I dunno. I guess I read the review section because it is short and to the point. And gives me a feel about the album. I'm usually bogged down with alot of other reading. Three books a week. At the moment I'm reading Woody Allan's biography, Faulkner's the Sound and the Fury and E Annie Proulx - the Shipping News. When I read music magazines, its usually because i wrote something for it - I usually read the people that i know there. and that's it. i don't fret or fuss.

I don't write, music wise, enough, to think of myself as a music journalist. Less and less, since the ficiton is picking itself up more. I guess, I write for music magazines for free music. And weird love of music.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

See NME, 7 February 2004. Cover star: Courtney Love - photographed by David Lachapelle.

I've got it at work. It roxx.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo. Who you calling a spastic? You want a fight?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh fuck off, Calum.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

At the moment I'm reading Woody Allan's biography

which one, the Eric Lax one? i read that on holiday when i was 18. stepped off the plane home to discover the whole woody/soon yi thing had exploded...

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, the Eric Lax one. IT'S BRILLIANT!!!

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Out of interest do you find it more difficult to listen to music and pay it any sort of serious critical attention since the fiction "picked itself up more"? Cos I listen to records for what, eight to ten hours a day on most days, but find it really difficult to just sit down and read a book. It fucking sucks.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

These days, I mean. I used to read like crazy

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i never heard of michael small. what is he like?

i am also reading faulkner at the moment (the hamlet)

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

And must say this for the reviews section at the NME - the people who edit it are amazing, love music passionately, constantly come up for recommendations personally and through the sections, and dunno ... its my favourite part of the paper.

I was hoping Lax could teach me something about biography writing for when i trial the libertines around.

I do most of my music listening at work. WHere I can focus in on the music - ha ha. True! Often I get it more - like when I was listening to the Dirty Three - I emailed everyone just saying: what was the point of that?

I've got a good balance going - my girl and i have made a new years resolution of complete escapism from shite tv, shite people, shite life.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth - Small did the soundtracks to Klute and the Stepford Wives. Good stuff. Seek me out on the weekend on soulseek.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Klute, really? I have that on vinyl, its ages since i played it though. perhaps i didnt like it much on initial play, and then forgot about it. im surprised i forgot the name though, all the same.

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

haven't picked up an NME in ages, but i will say short can be done well if it's, well, done well.

some of my favourite non-passionate-invective-laced-tirade type reviews were in great SF zine Bunnyhop, who made a point of doing record review haiku. some were undoubtedly taking the piss, but some said a whole lot more in those three lines than some five-page-long-no-margin rants i've read have.

which is not to defend NME's methodology, but.

― janni (janni), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The party scene is a good freak out track, from Klute. DAMN YOU GARETH FOR HAVING IT ON VINYL!!

To finish off - the one editor helped me with my writing and editing immensely. And the album reviews are meticulous - just donig a few here and there and getting to know the bloke who does it a bit, I can tell, that alot of thought gets put into that section. So yeah, who cares if it seems smaller, its quality not quantity. And I get to harrass them all the time - HEY DOUBLE LEOPARDS WOULD BE REALLY GOOD FOR LEAD REVIEW. ha ha!

I could honestly say that the reviews section in the NME always has neat stuff, is very carefully thought and planned, pulls in a nice cross section and is ace.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Man i'm a shit Typisyht. I do type 100 words a minute though!

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

But the rest of it? Dunno? I never read it. I read the reviews and the gossip section. ha ha!

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

i would love to be 15 right now so i could confirm how i'd be digesting things musically and in what ways. i'd probably have a blog/site, downloading more than i do now and what have you. again i think the internet has reduced teenagers needs for magazines to introduce them to cultures, scenes and stuff - the internet does this much quicker and more effectively. as for criticism, obv. it's out there on the web too - the joy being that so many people DO do it for the love and you're likely to get much more honest opinions as a result. i think a music mag is still a nice thing (and preferable to reading webpage after webpage on a screen) but i've lost my desire to buy them completely really.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it's because there's only so many times you can use the phrase 'life-affirming' in one review.

― just sayin', Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha.

I read like such a pscyho on messageboards. I feel like Robert DeNiro, writing out that Anniversary card for his folks underneath that sign that says 'I got to get organi..z...e...d'.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

''(admittedly, music and politics were more closely related back then)''

so why do you think that is the case?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

They were more closely related in discourse and projection, I think.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder (out loud) if the NME made an astonishing stylistic volte-face and changed back to *exactly* how it used to look/read around about 1979, if the world would end?

― mzui, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

if i were 15 again now, i've no idea what i'd be reading to introduce me to all this culture

Search: 'New' Look NME: Why Are The Reviews So Short?

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I think with NME's reviews section, in fact with reviews sections generally, you need to get past the layer of bullshit, the general attitude of a writer who would get published in that mag, the magazine's 'slant'.

But yeah, I think the reviews ection in NME is the best bit - especially when you delve, it opens up quite a few possibilities.

So, cutting it down equals *bad thing*.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Would be interested if someone took on Stevie's point:

the aegis that long reviews/interviews don't sell magazines, while expanded 'news' (ie gosip) sections and picture heavy magazines, why are these magazines selling less than ever before?

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Because back in the '80s, there was three places to get information about this stuff: NME, Sounds, and Melody Maker. Now, thanks to digital radio and the internet - not to mention Radio 1 jumping all over folks like Franz Ferdinand - you simply don't need to read the music press anymore. Everyone in the business of selling magazines is doing it by rebranding along gossip/lifestyle lines. Why? Because if you're looking for information you don't necessarily look to find it in a magazine.

― Jason J, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Sory, what I mean in a nutshell is: magazines like NME, Kerrang!, etc are remarketing themselves as brands, because there's no use in them trying to act as a hub of information anymore.

― Jason J, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

thing is, i never read the music press because i 'needed' to - not for release dates or gig dates or stuff, though that info was useful - but for something to *read*. and there's less and less actual content in most magazines nowadays, less substance.

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Innit. People just do not buy as much newsstand publications, full stop. I mean you have the gossipmags like Heat etc, and things like FHM, but there wasn't anything equivalent to them 20 years ago

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never had a ruck with a music journalist so if anyone wants some let me know and we can agree on location and weapons (I bagsie a dustbin lid, they can do some damage).

See? I told you I am nutty. Think I'll go out to the pub now and punch the jukebox just because I'm so totally nuts. Got it?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

the aegis that long reviews/interviews don't sell magazines, while expanded 'news' (ie gosip) sections and picture heavy magazines, why are these magazines selling less than ever before?

Is this actually true? In the US, Maxim Blender was a huge success upon its debut, and it left a lot of other mags scrambling to reclaim their lost readership.

The "Maxim-ization" of print media = no stories, just lists.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The general thinking is that people don't have time to read anymore, so articles are shorter (or are just lists) with lots of big quotes and info boxes and whatnot so you can find out what you want to know "at a glance" without having to sit down and read.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

The thing is, our publisher has told us that actually doesn't believe all that marketing bullshit about people wanting bite-size info, but the problem is that the advertising agencies believe it and the magazine world these days is completely driven by advertising.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

if it's any indicator, i've done my share of freelancing for said mag and over the past 3 years, my pay-per-word has been cut THREE times. as well, my photographer for many of the live reviews, i later found out, was literally being paid 5 times as much as i was.

― nme, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

have they cut the actual pay-per-word, or have your wordcounts been cut and so therefore you earn less because the pieces are shorter? photogs always earn more, but they have to spend more to do their jobs (film, processing, etc) and they don't get expenses (or at least they didn't)

― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

What was NME like during MM's 'golden era' ?

― Christopher McGarry, Thursday, 12 February 2004 00:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Is Imran Ahmed most useless at writing about rap music or pro-wrestling?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 12 February 2004 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

MM 1989-1993 - Grunge/Shoegazing/US Post-Hardcore/Fraggle/Goth/Brit-Indiepop/Musicians Gear Reviews/No TV-Media related articles.

NME 1989-1993 - Britpop/MORRISSEY/Occasional 'ironic' Metal or MOR Band-Artist Interviews/Shoegazing/Indiepop/PWEI/Gaping hole after Smiths breakup/Very Little Politics/Some TV-Media related articles.

SOUNDS 1989-1991??? - US Post Hardcore/GrungeGrungeGrunge/Foxcore (ask ET)/Goth/Some Metal-Prog (no irony)/Fraggle/Camden Lurch/Grebo/No Politics/Posters! (a sign of impending doom!)/Too many lists-Retrospective material/Great Live Section/Lotsa TV & Comedy related stuff/Shoegazing/Brit-Indiepop

― mzui, Thursday, 12 February 2004 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

well, word count has been cut but pay/word has also been significantly chopped. i guess inititally photogs have more expenses but with digital transfer, which is what my photog does, it's much less work and virtually no cost other than batteries. they go, take their pics for like an hour and they're done. when the show's done, the writer's work has only just begun.

― nme, Thursday, 12 February 2004 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

But a picture is worth a thousand words.

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Thursday, 12 February 2004 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Pictures don't keep you occupied on a train/bus journey.

― Christopher McGarry, Thursday, 12 February 2004 09:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, I've seen people reading Escort on the train before with no apparent sense of shame

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

NME in 1989-1990 was very big on Madchester/Baggy/indie-dance - despite the notorious 7/10 album review it was giving the Stone Roses more coverage than MM and the Happy Mondays were never off the cover. They also had a dedicated dance music section well before the Melody Maker did (whither Sherman now eh?). As a 16 year old I thought all this made them much hipper than Melody Maker with its gothy noise texture wankery so I bought the NME. I wasn't entirely wrong either - if a 30yr old me was transported back to 1989 though the music weekly he'd buy would be Record Mirror.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Re IPC pay: I was tickled to discover recently that the pennies per word rate is exactly the same as it was in 1992!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Sherman got his fingers burned writing for NME and Meolody Maker at the same time. As for mags with more emphasis on words than pics, has no-one seen 'Word'? I know it's a bit 30-something, but it's consitently interesting and unpatronising and may yet set an improving trend.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd love you to be right, latic... but 'Word' seems like its gradually conforming to market expectations - ie Beatles on the cover, loadsa capsule reviews, long features on Dido etc etc.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

i didn't think that much of it - but then the only one i've bought so far is the 'David Quantick meets Dido' one

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

As for mags with more emphasis on words than pics, has no-one seen 'Word'? I know it's a bit 30-something, but it's consitently interesting and unpatronising and may yet set an improving trend.

HA HA X-POST

OMG. MAYBE IF DIDO IS YOUR THING. I think its good in that it is boredom, personified, in a magazine. I'm off to vomit somewhere.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Record Mirror was great but it had even shorter reviews! of course it went to A4-ish format by then and was probably closer to Smash Hits than MM as a result - they never ran any features other than on bands either but they did rep dance better than anyone else, with a noticeable bias in fact. no wonder they bloody packed up.

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

At least they're decent enough to acknowledge that not all their readers like Dido - the letters page has been a haven of anti-Dido bile lately. I've read good things like an interview with the designer of the iPod, Danny Baker on the 70s, Iceland's answer to Pop Idol etc. Also, no-one colud say 'Mojo' is picture-led. The whole package is a labour of love and recent articles on Spirit and Mark Wirtz were a joy. If only someone covered contemporary music in such a fashion.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Thursday, 12 February 2004 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

But its not contemporary, is it? It's a capture of the over-30 market who thinks Blur is edgy and still 'like' music. It's not very good.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

NME in 1988-early 191 gave far less coverage to American acts than MM. During 1989 MM idolised Galaxie 500, Doolittle, Sonic youth/Dinisaur Jr, gave huge coverage to REM's Green album and tour and generally mirrored what was on Monday night's Snub TV at the time (or vice versa). It was only in the latter half of 89 that Madchester got the heavy treatment, but never as much as NME. For a long time NME ignored a lot of great music coming out of America -- some of the aforementioned acts might have gotten the occasional live review etc but it generally had a very Britcentric slant. Even later on, an album like Yerself Is Steam album was treated by MM as an absolute godsend but NME preferred the likes of PWEI.

― David Gunnip (David Gunnip), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Word probably likes the Thrills though, JtS.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone here want to write for a website i'm gonna be starting later in the year? it'll pay fuck all, but be very discriminating re writing, give you all the space you want to write about whatever you like, but with a heavy bias toward music. anything goes, provided it's good, clearly thought out and well researched. i'm aiming to do this in a few months and will fill any interested parties in as we go along. stevie, i'll work for you for nothing if you'll scratch my back!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:06 (twenty-two years ago)

They are my Monkees!

Word is the dullest thing I've ever had the discomfort of flipping through when I was waiting for my train at King's Cross. It is like an overheard mobile phone conversation of a media-whore-ogre in Crouch End being, like, y'know all edgy and down. Rubbish.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The thing that most impressed me about Word was that all the articles about REM, the Beatles etc were from an informed but personal perspective - it was an identifiably human loving the Beatles, going off REM, etc etc. not just some 'critical persona'. It was very chummy too which of course I like.

The thing that least impressed me was that this approach was being applied to REM and the Beatles.

Stevem who cares about short reviews when you list the BPM of EVERY HIT RECORD!!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a word wank fest. Tom you have described my idea of hell.

― Jimmy the Saint (Jimmy the Saint), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh well so much for the mind-meld!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't mind word. at least there's something to read in it. it's worth buying for a train journey coz it lasts the distance. nme can be got thru in about 20 minutes - at a stretch

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Interesting that trains are the reading paradigm here -- evidently when at home we all read blogs/ilx and only get to touch paper when on the move.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll write for your web site. How's this as a sample review:

REM, right, bald cunts. I'd kick their ass. "Everybody Hurts" my ass. Try living round my way you billionairre twats. Then you'll see what "Everybody Hurts" really means, cos there's no money and you're all sat smoking dope and wanting a punch up, you know what I mean? You guys should shut the fuck up and give us some of yer cash instead.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

but NME preferred the likes of PWEI.

I was with you until there. I always felt that grebo was much more of a MM thing. Maybe it's cause the gothy-crusty-grebo kids at school read it. The NME was more about Madchester in the period you're talking about.

Every so often I'd fall for a MM review's gushing about some American band, and then I'd end up with some crappy record like Come's 'Eleven: Eleven' gathering dust on my shelf.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Nigel: are you Swells in disguise?

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

No.

The Word are for people who have given up on music.

― Jimmy the Saintss, Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, i mean i gave up on music a long time ago... i only like bellowing jamaicans now. meanwhile, nme is for people who have given up on reading and writing (presuming they could in the 1st place)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

The recent issue of Word with one writer each decade was kind of bad though - Andrew Loog Oldham's 50s piece was a laugh but the rest of it was kind of pffft, especially as the one piece of common ground all five had was "tut tut isn;t it awful now though".

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I find it kind of ominous that the late 80s Q posse are still running things, you know -- like no-on eborn after 1960 has got their act together; they remain the 'music press in exile'. I kind of wish they'd do it for real.

In other word, Tico -- step up!

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Danny Baker's piece made them al look like try-hards. Every musical memory was attached to a personal recollection - I particularly liked the fact that he was tempted to lick the salty sweat stains off the bottom of his flares after an especially magical Average White Band gig at the Marquee.

― laticsmon (laticsmon), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

My god. I'm bored. Average White Band? Could I just volunteer to help out at the Ye Ole Media Ogre's Home and be done with it? DO I REALLY NEED 'WORD'?

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh I forgot Danny Baker's one! That was good too! OK 2 out of 5 is alright then, but the constant "never such innocence again" stuff was a bit of a bore.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i've thought about doing a magazine for ages, but just can't afford to - that's why the website is such a good idea. tom, would you do a guest slot for it - mutual links and all that, obv... mail me off or on list if you like. btw, shocked at how similar our pazz & jops were!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought that piece was a bit Baker-by-numbers, to be honest (and he used that same "food poisoning so bad my fingernails fell off" anecdote when he was presenting some rubbish on Terry and Gabby a while ago!).

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh I forgot Danny Baker's one! That was good too! OK 2 out of 5 is alright then, but the constant "never such innocence again" stuff was a bit of a bore.

hA HA. Why then, did I get this image of the Word staff diving in a pond, holding hands ala 'Prince of Tides'?

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I have to deal with the stuff I've promised myself I'll do for my site first, plus the article I promised Jess I'd do but yeah in theory sure!

xpost I don't read enough Baker to know those particular numbers!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

GREAT! that's fine btw. you probably got about 4 or 5 months to get it together as i'm looking at doing it in summer, so no rush. best thing to do is let me know a few things you're really keen to do and i'm sure there'll be something there. as i said, i want to give people free rein, but with the emphasis on nice writing. easy done, really with the right contributors

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave - is my article good for you site?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Thursday, 12 February 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

shut up

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

jt leroy's von bondies piece and the distillers feature in the latest ID, and they were both unforgiveably atrocious.

THANK YOU! Editor thinks she has a real coup getting JTL to write for her, but once she's gotten the 10 folks of any help to the mag in an issue, it may become apparent to even the biggest thickos in the office that he is an incredibly solipsistic writer who can barely get out a question in the midst of all his 'me' time. And that Dist feature was also written by amanda de fucking cadenet. Annoying.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 12 February 2004 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, no-one colud say 'Mojo' is picture-led. The whole package is a labour of love and recent articles on Spirit and Mark Wirtz were a joy. If only someone covered contemporary music in such a fashion.

Loose Lips Sink Ships will debut next week. some of you will love it.

(dave: count me in.)

Suzy - DeCadanet's feature made me want to kill myself. Her pictures weren't bad though (and Steve shot Von Bondies, so they looked cool, even if Jason is a cunt and that new album a god-awful goth tragedy)

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i was horrified by that adc piece, too and i fucking hate jt leroy

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I love JT Leroy. And he produced 'Elephant'. Only good things come from that strange man child.

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

the von bondies feature was shit though, wasn't it doomie?

loved that danny baker piece in word... first issue i bought, and there was some great writing in there - esp. craig mcclean's interviews. the subjects didn't interest me much, but the writing was good.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Hoi Dave, how about a get a steel bucket and swing it across your face knocking all your teeth out? Eh? What then?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

fella if you'd like to come out to hackney and threaten me in person, then be my guest

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah but the Von Bondies are shit. The only good thing that the Von Bondies have accomplished is getting beat up by Jack.

I only have glossy fandom crack eyes for JT Leroy.

Man when will Calum quit it? This Viz-lite shit is boring as fuck. Revert back to the other troll, Calum.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Thing is, the first Von Bondies album was wonderful. And Jason disses it now, which just confirms his fuckwittery.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Not really my bag, Stevie. I thought it was 'alright' but I would not give up my life for the band.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha, careful Dave, you're veering into 'DON'T TRY IT' territory there with the Hackney ref ;)

oh and check yo mail

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Hoi Dave - Hackney is where the gay lords are. I'm from the rough end of Newcastle and I bite of cats heads for fun. Right? You don't mess with Nutty Nigel and The Nut Wanglers. We'll jump you mate and eat your nose for fun.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work
Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak
And loves to be spoken to
Nigel is happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Making plans for Nigel? I don't know. Isn't Jobseekers doing enough for Calum?

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Making Bans For Nigel.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Jaysus the Edge, ILM is to music critics what the proverbial water cooler is to your office drone. What are the vending machines like in your ICP (no) er.. IMAP (no..) IPC (that's it!!!) towers? Do you have ROCK CAKES hahahaha.

"Nice writing" Dave eh? Sounds 'orrible. The kids like it dirrrrrrrrrty around herrrrrre - THE PROOF IS IN THE HMV SALE!

Bang! magazine's first issue was alright, IIRC.

Anyway less Danny Baker more Tom Baker.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm nothing to do with this other guy! My name is Nigel... I was told by a mate to find a web site called "I Love Rocking" and finally got "I Love Music" instead...

Hold on. Maybe he meant "I Love Rucking". I'll ask him.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The whole Nigel thing is embarrassing. Like getting stuck talking to a fourty year shop clerk who starts being zany and 'funny'. It's just kind of embarrassing.

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

And you avoid the shop from thereonin because he thinks because he was wacky in front of you he is your 'friend'. It's like, humour for the lonely, innit? I guess that is why I find it depressing and embarrassing - it's almost like I got him masturbating or something.

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

even tho the nigel thing is just stupid i still don't take especially kindly to people threatening to knock my teeth out. it's a strange personal foible, i know, but indulge me

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you ever punch clowns?

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

nutty nigel's violent bent made me think he was Marcello, 'venting'

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

there's something awful about people using computers to be violent. it's even worse than using them to get your rocks off. i'm with luka on this one, if you want a punch-up ask for it in person, don't threaten someon online, it's quite pathetic.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'm from the rough end of Newcastle"

A lie. If Calum Robert visited the west end of newcastle, the local charver scum would take him down in 15m or less.

"nutty nigel" for fuck's sake. What a fucking laym0r.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah its lame and I guess I was telling him to fuck off because it did remind me of the scenerio above. Only, prob. his mates went OH MAN THAT IS HILARIOUS and when he tries it in public and nobody LAFFS he can't get it. WHY DON'T THEY THINK I'M COOL AND ROXXX?

'The Day the Clown Cried'.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

And it reminds me nothing of Marcello's venting - that is parodic, extreme, entertaining in that manga sort of way, this is def. 40 year old lonely shop clerk humour.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

marcello's about 40, too

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

O.k. no way I'm comparing that shithead to Marcello. Marcello, is v. entertaining. Shithead is desperate.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

although Nutty Nigel hasn't bragged about his wagepacket yet

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Marcello's venting isn't entertaining, he just does it to silence anyone who doesn't agree with him

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably because no one made fun of his dead wife, yet.

Stevie, diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. Y'know?

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Yet again, an IP check on "nutty" reveals 4 posters - wyndham, julio, lynskey and calum robert. It isn't Marcello. You can figure out who it actually is yourselves, I'm sure.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

After last week's ugliness I wouldn't put it past Marcello, but this is definitely C****.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

O.k., not that I pass judgement some ilxor made fun of his dead wife and now its OOOO NO MARCELLO YOU GOT ANGRY. Ok. Forgot about it.

Norman, do you mean, CALUM ROBERT WADDELL?

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

But doomie, Marcello was bullying and threatening people long before his loss was brought into anything. I don't doubt he can be a good writer, great even, but he can be an unfunny and insufferable prick too.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone on here has and can be an insufferable prick. I'm not going to make a judgement call on who is more of one.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

(And has he ever got his round in?)

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm none of these fellas. My name is Nigel and I kick all yo asses cos I'm nutty and violent and not had any help for it cos I'm sane during the day alright? Just don't mess.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Enough with the marcello meta please people!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

(pashmina has never got his round in either)

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

so what you mean is, Marcello threatening people is funny, because he's your mate and he threatens people you don't like. but Nutty Nigel threatening people isn't funny, because he's possibly Calum and you don't like calum.

i think both are tedious.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

JtS -- it wasn't like that Marcello had been a cunt on that thread from his very first post. Or are you some kind of racist? You're not good enough for ILM!

― NRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

NAZI!

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you sure?

CALUM ROBERT WADDELL?

link

so what you mean is, Marcello threatening people is funny, because he's your mate

No. I did not say that.

and he threatens people you don't like.

I don't have a dislike of anyone on this board, Stevie.

but Nutty Nigel threatening people isn't funny, because he's possibly Calum and you don't like calum.

No. Because it is boring and tedious.

― Jimmys the Saint, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Back onto entertaining NME gossip within 5 posts please or the thread gets locked.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

(actually crap NME gossip will do)

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(I was going to say that tom, but I didn't have the nerve!!)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes come on you cockfarmers, vending machine details NOW.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

O.k. Tom,

I would just like to point out to Stevie that I make 'allowances' for people who are troubled or troubled by something. Marcello has spent my patience allowance, yes, but I'm not about to damn him. Nor compare him to Calum.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

drop me an email tonight plz DP!!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i use dto like that there was a picture of neil hannon from the divine comedy that you were encouraged to punch in the office, when i worked ther. i had the chance to do some work for them a while ago but refused when i found the pay per word rate hadn't gone up in 6 years!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, I'm down to "Terrorizer" and "Sound on Sound" for my music-related reading, but I will buy LLSS as soon as I see it. CTCL, I really enjoyed reading.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Pay schmay - I'm in it for the free music.

I'm doing court reporting tonight Norman so will be up late and will email.

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I will buy LLSS too, I'm not totally sure it's going to be my 'thing' but I'll give it a shot.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

doomie, do you know a matt g, through court reporting?

― gareth (gareth), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

You should review it as Toilet Reading - whatever happened to that grebt Brown Wedge Disco Club feature anyway?

I think I might give KERRANG! a go, seeing as I am a Lost Prophets fan these days.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

And I always liked their nice Mr Editor Man when he was being a talking head on t'telly.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been reading old Tintin books on the lav lately Starry, I should review those maybe.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Terrorizer is FIXED and I know because a mate of mine works for it. HAHAHAHAHA. They fix the reviews he writes and "up" the star counts depending on who it is. Norman you are a wally. HA!

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

(yawn)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

It is boring is it not?

― Jimmy the Sainted, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

NME journalists seemed to go from being much older than me (and quite intimidating) to being much younger than me without any time inbetween.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

it is very boring.

(x-post yes 'n', and the policemen look so much younger as well!!1)

Should I actually buy nme on the way home tonight? I haven't read it in over a year.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I can't even get worked up about it enuff. I wish he was more threatening and more of a psycho instead of some lame-o coronation street extra.

I'm outta here. C'ya later.

― Jimmy the Saints, Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I sort of feel that too but I think the Jonny Cigarettes 'generation' are about my age (and yours too N)

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I guess.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

NME gossip - Melissa Auf Du Maur is presenting an award at the Awards this afternoon. I could not convince her to 'cause some trouble' while she was at it, curses.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Cigarettes, who I always get confused with Mark Fowler from the 'enders, must be mid-30s. They're all my age now, scarily. When I was reading it they still had Swells. Then it were all seel-outs like Victoria Segal, and that pious Robinson guy. MM was way better in the mid-90s.

― NRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Victoria wrote for Melody Maker in the mid 90s, and is still one of the best writers around.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

They had sWells until just a couple of years ago, though didn't they?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I like reading Peter Robinson's stuff, especially the way he just keeps on going about pop music, while all around him, all the other journos are trying to be serious about guitar music

― jellybean (jellybean), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not sure who the pious one I meant was... seemed to be friends with Travis. Didn't Segal write for The Times in the end? I felt it lost something with Britpop, put its eggs in that basket, then thrashed around without finding anything new to which it could commit.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Victoria writes for the Times and for Mojo now. The 'pious' one is John Robinson, a wickedly epigrammatical wit who can now be found penning paragraph put-downs for the Guardian Guide.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, he mind have been a wit, but for this 18-year-old reader, he wasn't very 'NME' -- maybe he's more suited to the Snide, tho'.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

John Robinson is fucking awful. Peter Paphides is the best on the Guide. Best NME writer of my time was Sylvia Patterson - where's she now?

― Affectian (Affectian), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

She does mainstream feature writing, I think.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you know which magazines / newspapers?

― Affectian (Affectian), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Glamour, I think. I heart Emma Forrest.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

the mail on sunday!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Good God! I'll join you under that bus, Dave.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

emma forrest drives me crazy

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Segal pisses me off (Strokes best band ever, 2 Many DJs 6 out of 10 - whatever luv)

Sarah on the other hand is the best poster ever. Does she have her own show yet?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Me too, probably in a different way.

xpost

Sarah is indeed the best postx0r ever -- I only realised this the other day.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not sure who the pious one I meant was... seemed to be friends with Travis.

Keith Cameron?

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Affectian - the Sunday Herald too.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

and the Snide, too

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

re forrest: did you read that piece in the guardian about self-harming that she wrote. she's a total mentalizer. unfort another lovely jornalist friend of mine shares her name!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

No. I don't think I've read owt of hers since she was in the Sunday Times, though the lady says she writes for Elle etc. She made me want to write aged 13, that's why I like her. Plus is buff.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

but other people had to rewrite her stuff!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

they do that at the guardian - and not always for the better, though, nick (kicks cat and storms off)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

N -- for real? All my dreams have been shattered. Dave -- erm, that's journalim bro! WTF?

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Do an ILE search on her name if you like - I've told the story at least once before and it's not that interesting (without the evidence) for me to tell it again.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:19 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah - i'm just a bit ticked off that they fucked up my last piece. not a problem, really

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

That was to Enrique, Dave - not a challenge to you.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Best NME writer of my time was Sylvia Patterson - where's she now?

She still writes for NME occassionally. Also The Face, Glamour, a broadsheet (can't remember which one) and I might have seen her by-line in Word, or I might be hallucinating.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

AND THE MAIL ON SUNDAY!!! INTERVIEWING MELANIE SYKES!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

"so what's Des like in the sack?"

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I wouldn't do it, but we all need to pay the rent.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

o'Connor's casting couch is legendary in the industry. he sings while shagging, so i've heard

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Not from close up, one hopes.

― NRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(i didn't mean shag Des...)

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

(well, you know, only if the rent needs paying)

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

hey i thought it would help my career - it's that desperate. my night of leathery passion with over-sunbedded light entertainer ended in tears, i can see the headlines now!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Shit! You too? The cad!

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, anna, some women say there's a lot going for the older man

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

you could do worse, there's chris moyles or jeremy beadle to be considered

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

[sings] Dick a dum dum...

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i was just about to say "looks like i have summarily murdered this thread now"... you just had to take it one step too far, didn't you?!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Do an ILE search on her name if you like - I've told the story at least once before and it's not that interesting (without the evidence) for me to tell it again.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 12th, 2004.

Emma Forrest = K-rowr, you lucky man
-- Enrique (miltonpinsk...), November 11th, 2003.

Mmm.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Good grief did they have Emma Forrest on? Her career makes me cry.
More than cry in my case. Sobbing, wailing, pointless hysteria.

(Dom, have you read Namedropper?)

-- Anna (Fieldingann...), May 12th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is it possible to read Namedropper? I though it was a stress toy = built for throwing across the room dripping in your disgust.
-- Pete (pb1...), May 12th, 2003.

Well, harrumph. Maybe she'd dropped the ball of late, how should I know. She is my age and is a successful writer so I should dislike her... but there's always Joh4nn H@r1 for that.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Thursday, 12 February 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

EF was helped into her Times column by Nigella Lawson (EF went to her old school and NL turned up there to talk to the students, was impressed with EF) and also made nice with J Burchill and got work on the Modern Review.

She is actually a very nice girl. I'd never met her when she came bounding up to me at a screening for Clueless, introduced herself, complimented a piece I'd just done. Very chatty, has watched far too many b/w films. The screenplay rights for Namedropper were sold to Brad and Jen's production company and she got a gig trying to write a screenplay for a remake of The Collector. Also she writes for Marie Claire

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 12 February 2004 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

and how did i know that was gonna happen!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 12 February 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I honestly can't think of anything rotten about her. That Times column was awful, but all teenager columns in broadsheets always are.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 12 February 2004 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

that pious Robinson guy

What's in a name?

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 12 February 2004 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyone interested in the NME Awards that are happening right now?
Kings Of Leon won best new band.
Zane Lowe won best radio show.

― Charles, Thursday, 12 February 2004 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

sounds interesting (returns to 'MEIN KAMPF')

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Full List Of NME Awards Winner.

Best Radio Show: Zane Lowe
Best New Band (supported by Radio 1): Kings Of Leon
Best Video (supported by MTV2): Radiohead - 'There There'
Best Single: The White Stripes - '7 Nation Army'
Best Film: 'Lord Of The Rings - Return Of The King'
Rock And Roll Man Of The Year: Har Mar Superstar
Best Live Band (supported by Carling): Queens Of The Stone Age
Living Legend: Arthur Lee
Philip Hall Radar Award: Franz Ferdinand
Best Event: Glastonbury
The Fuck Me! Award For Innovation: Dizzee Rascal
Best International Band (supported by 4Music): Kings Of Leon
Best TV Show: The Office
Rock 'N' Roll Woman Of The Year: Brody Dalle
>Best UK Band (supported by BPI): The Libertines
Best Album (supported by Virgin Megastores): Radiohead - 'Hail To The Thief'
Godlike Genius: Ozzy Osbourne

― Charles, Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

The Fuck Me! Award For Innovation: Dizzee Rascal

Sub 'off' for 'me' and I have a feeling that was a truer sentiment, given some of these choices.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

As a direct result of this thread I bought the NME for the first time in about six months.

The CD sounds a little rubbish - although I've only skimmed - apart from the Chemical Brothers' Slow remix. Also, track listing is wrong.

I read the Outkast interview by the ex-editor of Muzik. He gets some pretty interesting quotes, especially from Andre 3000's mum but doesn't follow them up (or not in the version printed). They mention B.O.B. being a direct result of hearing d'n'b and jungle in London clubs. Next album is meant to be more hard and electro. As they mention Squarepusher, sounds like it might be (even more) interesting.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't think much of the cd either. The NME awards are pointless. Completely pointless.

― Christopher McGarry, Thursday, 12 February 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Very chatty, has watched far too many b/w films

The unsubbed piece I read was about b/w films! It was utterly inane and followed no grammatical code I'd ever come across. I guess she was just young and off her head having a good time to be able to turn into copy at the time. I suddenly feel all warm and understanding towards her.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 12 February 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Just noticed:
Rock 'N' Roll Woman Of The Year: Brody Dalle - hahahahahaha
>Best UK Band (supported by BPI): The Libertines

BPI?? it really is the Brit Awards isnt it?

― Christopher McGarry, Friday, 13 February 2004 03:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I ws going to buy nme on thee way home last night but the new sound-on-sound was out, so, maybe another time.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

The Libertines are prob. the best british rock band out there at the moment - I seriously can't think of another 'rock' band that is equivalent (oh ho ho) I left that wide open. I concur with the Libertines vote. Plus new baby shambles demos are all pop hits!

Norman did not get around to writing last night. I'm struggling with a draft of something someone wants to see (non-music writings) and I feel like I'm retarded -- 'cause instead of doing anything, I watched Ms Congeniality.

(Ha ha - my girl and I exchanged valentines gifts early - she got me GOBLIN SOUNDTRACKS and a neat 1930s chinese book ends found in thrift shop in Archway and I got her two Jean Seberg dvds... COOL!)

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 09:18 (twenty-two years ago)

You're up early!! I was off email last night myself, so don't worry!! It was muh wummunz b/day yesterday, so interweb lost out.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Libertines are the best rock band the way Al Quaeda are the best terrorist network.

Very chatty, has watched far too many b/w films

Sounds like my kind of girl. In the cold light of 2004 the Sunday Times stuff probably did suck, but at the time, as a teenager, it was good to have a Manics fan doing that.

The unsubbed piece I read was about b/w films! It was utterly inane and followed no grammatical code I'd ever come across.

She is, of course, a Henry Green in the making...

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 13 February 2004 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The pleasant sounds of construction workers and metal being thrown from ceilings woke me up to beauty. A Throbbing Gristle concert outside my attic flat! Imagine!!

Goblin rule.

Enrique, YER AMAZING. In fact, when I think of you, I THINK OF THE BRITISH FILM INDUSTRY AND KNOW WHY ITS SO BRILLIANT AND GOOD!

― Jimmys the Saint, Friday, 13 February 2004 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I want NME to start a Goblin revival! That would rule.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 09:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Jimmy, I DON'T WORK IN THE BRITISH FILM INDUSTRY. But if I did IT WOULD BLOODY ROCK.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 13 February 2004 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Why..What???

OF COURSE IT WOULD! YOU ARE VERY DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE IN THE BRITISH FILM INDUSTRY THAT I'VE MET!

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 09:43 (twenty-two years ago)

So what did you mean? That because I *don't* work there it's BRILLIANT AND GOOD????

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 13 February 2004 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

WHY HEAVENS NO!

WE ALL KNOW THAT THE BRITISH FILM INDUSTRY HAS BEEN PRODUCING NOTHING BUT THE VERY BEST FOR YEARS NOW!

― Jimmys the Saint, Friday, 13 February 2004 09:46 (twenty-two years ago)

That's all gonna change when I write 'ILX: THE MOVIE' starring Ian Holm AS Kevin Shields, Christopher Plummer AS Tom Ewing and Andy Serkis AS Calum.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 13 February 2004 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

That sounds disconcertingly like my movie, only, mine is a dogme piece about Calum. I'm going to have Calum play Calz/C_Man and Nasty Nigel - and make him walk through a Newcastle Housing Estate picking fights. I'm hoping that it will be at least five hours long. He's signing the contract at this very mo'.

Goblin are doing the soundtrack, obviously.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum: HOI HOI YOU THERE WHY DON'T YOU WORK YOU DRUNK!!
Man One: Don't say that to my little boy.
Calum: HOI HOI YOU STAY OUT OF IT.

(Scuffle occurs, four people jump on Calum, my voice is heard shouting - CAN WE GET SLOW MOTION ON THIS SHOT. GOOD JOB CALUM...)

The crowd back away when the police come.

Me: C'mon you can get up. We've got another four hour shoot this evening.
Calum: Hoi hoi, I've been stabbed.
Me: No. No. NO. GET IT TOGETHER CALUM - NASTY NIGEL WAS STABBED YOU ARE NOW THE DEBONAIR C_MAN!
Calum limps over to a group of youths to start another fight.

Calum: Hoi Hoi.

Best film ever, obviously.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd buy a ticket!!

i'd even hold the camera!!!

― stevie (stevie), Friday, 13 February 2004 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it could work, if Calum was up for it.

Stevie, you do camera - Norman - you scout locations.

Calum shoot me an email if you are up for it.

I'M THINKING OSCAR FOR BEST FOREIGN FILM!

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 10:06 (twenty-two years ago)

The film could start moodily - Calum smoking a fag listening to and talking about Sleeper in the middle of an estate square. He sighs. 'Let's get some people talking'. And starts first fight.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

genius

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 13 February 2004 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

This could actually work!!!! 'Dramedy'

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

'Comma'

― stevie (stevie), Friday, 13 February 2004 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

'Death of a Lad'

Imagine the write-ups in the Guardian!!!

"Brave"

"Bold"

"Haunting"

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

This *has* to be done. You could easy get some film council funding. 'Calum: He's Here to Help'. Or something.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Friday, 13 February 2004 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

We would have to have 'Some Velvet Morning' playing over the end credits.

Inbetween the fight sequences Calum could, you know, 'rap' about life.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

*Off-Camera*

Me: Calum, you can't give up. Louise Wener did not give up and neither should you.

Calum: *spits out blood* HOI BUT SHE WAS A FIT BIRD INNIT SHE? Roight.

Me: *close-up* This will make you a celebrity, Calum.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum's face silently ponders the celebrity life in England as the camera captures all.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

It would probably work if the voice-over was monotone - not judging, nor questioning, just presenting - leaving Calum to fill the void - his thoughts, his feelings, his dreams? What are they? In between each fight, perhaps, the shallow strip of 'laddism' decays and he is present in a rawer form as the film progresses.

I would have to reference that belgium film - y'know, where they follow the serial killer around with a camera crew? Damn.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"man bites dog"

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum would be the metaphor of the death of England? Or would that be, y'know, obvious?

Yes, a transverse, 'man bites dog'.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it would be v. good - he would either descend into faux-intellectualism, laddism or insanity during the pic. It would have to be filmed in one night though.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

And it gets reviewed in NME thus:

"Taking Sides"

"Film about C-Man walking through Newcastle. Some people look at him funny, he morphes into Nutty Nigel and gets killed. C-man looks on "Ever get the feeling you've been cheated" 3/5.

Or is that a bt long for an NME film review?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 13 February 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

'You would probably meet Jordon when the film is released'

'Whoa better that slappa' than that fatty Michele.'

'Maybe a pop single as well, Calum?'

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark! 'Death of a Lad!'

I think it would be good to explore the transitory and decaying nature of british arts withiin the film by offering Calum reasonable Channel five-like prospects if he continued with the fights.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

'Don't you want to meet Louise Wener?'

'HOI HOI I ain't no bummer!'

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum if yer reading get in contact!!

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Would he be Nasty Nigel during the fights. C_man when rapping about life and Calz when he is social?

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

social?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 13 February 2004 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"social" haha

(miss jean brodie type voice)
"oi you geordie layabout, no, I don't want to buy any 'tack'. I have a proper education, you know, not like you PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB IN TEH MEDIA!!1!1!!!!!!! I AM DESPERATE AND WILL WORK FOR SIGNED PHOTOS OF JOANNE GUEST!!!1!!!1!!@#"

"ahhh howay maaan y' fukn twat aaaa just TWOCd y' car hahahhahaahaaaaaa now me an mee myets aaa gannin te crack y' one"

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not this other guy and I'll kick this Pashmina's head in cos he's obviously spoilt middle class scum right?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

You all seem obsessed by this Calum guy anyway - is he buff or wot? You guys are poofs who want him obviously and can't get enough of him, but I bet he's spoilt middle class scum too. I'm not. I'm the real deal.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Umm, I actually do come from Newcastle...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

hAHA, SO DO i, OR RATHER, i COME FROM "mIDDLE CLASS " JARROW!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, South Shields to be specific like.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Shit Calum, they all owned you again!!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Good grief Mark, South Shields = where I work, and thus where I am sitting now (approx 500yds from chichester metro station!!)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

You will be kicked in the head mate. You watch it. I'm not Calum right?

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh piss off Calum.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

you are fooling nobody.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, whatever. (nigel)

Heck! Chi! that metro station was what used to be my first school.. Laygate Lane! Alice street my granma's where we lived when my dad was stationed in germany.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha, do you remember Holdsworth's in Dean Road? MY SHOP!!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I know Dean Road, Holdsworths? What they do? (I lived there back in 1965 or so, but I return a fair bit.. I have friends who live in Dean Road).

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 13 February 2004 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

So, Nigel/Calum d'ya want to be in a movie? I promise that you won't have to touch yrself like the last one you did that went straight-to-'net.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"ahhh howay maaan y' fukn twat aaaa just TWOCd y' car hahahhahaahaaaaaa now me an mee myets aaa gannin te crack y' one"

-- Pashmina (pashmin...), February 13th, 2004.

so so SO owned.

― jmmy the saint, Friday, 13 February 2004 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Nigel could be in the movie, and Calum could review it for his "cult" film 'zine!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark - I run a bike repair shop.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

What would the article be called ...???

"Nigel, a hot and sexy buff bod 'takes' on several men in a Newcastle estate to achieve a career in media. A trying journey for all involved."

*****

― jmmy the saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

It could be the new "get carter", couldn't it?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Get Calum!

Yes.

Calum being interviewed by his own webzine.

Calum: I fought long and hard for it to be called 'I'm a Genius, Get Calum Outta Here' but the producers won by offering to cut several hard-core gay sex scenes from the film. It worked well. I am looking for an agent at the moment and am fielding offers from other 'net zines.

― JIMMY THE SAINTS, Friday, 13 February 2004 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum: In fact, I'm playing the third orderly in the new production of 'Gareth Meranghi's' 'Dark Places' -- in it I give birth to a giant eye through my anus. I feel like it is a return to my horror roots after dabbling with indepedant cinema.'

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Calum: Well, you do know your stuff, Nasty Nigel. I have had offers of work from some of the top PR mailrooms but I'm focusing mainly on the work and writing. My mam is helping me out with the calls. Oh, I'm averaging about two calls a week now. The W*ddl* household really has never been so socially busy. I have to thank ILX for giving me the strength to believe in myself and my mam.

― Jimmy the Saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Funny, I thought "Holdsworth the bike shop", (didn't want to commit myself).

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 13 February 2004 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Look out behind you nigel!!

http://www.modculture.co.uk/images/visuals/vis25.jpg

(nb isn't it sad that a google image search for "get carter" yields more hits for the stallone version)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha ha!!!!

Nigel: Is it true that you fought with the co-producer Pashimina on set alot?

Calum: FUXXXOR!!! INTERVIEW OVER. I'M OUT OF HERE. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT PASHIMINA...

― jimmy the sainted, Friday, 13 February 2004 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

nb: the rest of the interview takes up three screens where he tries to convince everyone that they are seperate identities. the world fails to wake up.

― jimmy the sainted, Friday, 13 February 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

four months pass...

Supposedly the nme editor Conor McNicholas doesn't think 19 year olds have the attention span for longer reviews.

― Ralf, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 04:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe that's just NME reading 19 year old?

― mei (mei), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 06:38 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

tim jonze has a piece in the guardian.

― the confusing situation Enrique currently endures (Enrique), Monday, 15 May 2006 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

tim jonze has a font in his garden.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 15 May 2006 12:04 (nineteen years ago)

Why are there hardly any reviews in NME now?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

To make room for the pictures and gossip, of course!

― I Was Wrong, That Don't Mean You Were Right (kate), Monday, 15 May 2006 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

But what if they were to dump doherty from the nme?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

It has to happen some day right?
he was dismissed as a "just a worn-out drug addict" by NME
But the Readers disagree Pete Doherty voted one of the greatest rock stars of all time by readers of NME.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Well, watch as from now on, the NME will be kicking Pete every chance they get.

1) He has no record deal anymore
2) Kate-less
3) Now we're all tired of him
4) Now his star is in decline, they will take their readership away from him. They can do this. and will.
5) Carlos has his act together.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

you're clearly still not tired of him tho Mark.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:14 (nineteen years ago)

Mark Grout and DJ Martian, yesterday:

http://my.brandeis.edu/news/images/bernstein_woodward_ap_bild.jpg

"There's gotta be a new angle to this NME story boss! I just gotta find it!"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

he lost his record deal!? hahahahahaha.

― the confusing situation Enrique currently endures (Enrique), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:16 (nineteen years ago)

No Doherty this week Steve Sutherland, I have decided to put Burial on the front cover

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:23 (nineteen years ago)

xpost to Konal.

As of next week, I shall not post on the subject again. Unless he makes a blinding record and/or a stunning recovery, who needs it.

But:

Anticipating the falling out, I can see the NME way overcompensating in their 'condemnation' of him, in some way washing their hands of the responsibility. They made him "hero number two" to their obvious dismay, and his fall will be way sharper than when they decided to never again say "Shed Seven".

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 15 May 2006 13:45 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe he'll end up in jail and they will start a "free pete" campaign if nme sales drop after slagging him off.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

Please don't stop posting about him Mark it's good

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

You need to keep his flame alive after everyone has forgotten!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/rockandalt/
Is Pete a rock 'n' roll hero?

Yes

12.1%

87.9%

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

well of course BBC website users have long been the barometer of rock; back in the mid-90s they couldnt keep quiet about all the drum'n'bass that other government-funded corporations were ignoring.

― the confusing situation Enrique currently endures (Enrique), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

-- stevie
They don't even offer posters. I used to buy Kerrang every week in the early - mid 90s just for the posters. Until all you ever got was nu-metal posters and I stopped.

WHy don't more magazines have posters? Select used to give away great posters. I still have some on my wall.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 15 May 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

The Guardian is giving away shark identification posters all this week.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Monday, 15 May 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

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