What do you do when you've got competiton for someone you like?

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Continuing from How do you know if someone fancies you? and How do you get someone to notice/fancy you?. What will you do when you've got competition for someone you like?
It always seem to happen to me, I fall for guys that loads of girls will like, and I have nothing outstanding to offer that will make them for for me instead of anyone else.

― jellybean (jellybean), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

1. Be persistent.
2. Be obvious.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Look better, be funnier, and say smarter things than the other person. If you can't, hope that there's some mystic chemistry that will lead the object of desire to you anyway, or maybe hope that the competition is too good for your target (who is roughly as ugly, unfunny, and dumb as you). If not, give up. Or kill your opponent (this only works if you are prepared to also kill every subsequent person who turns up looking better, being funnier, and saying smarter things than you.)

(All instances of the word 'you' in this message are not addressed to jellybean. I would use 'one' instead, but am too groovy).

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Since I always go for oddballs, I don't really recall having competition. Maybe once or twice in some bar/pickup kind of scenario. I just smile (my best feature) and hope for the best.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Opt out. Don't lose your dignity by trying to 'win'. Onus is then on boyo/girlo and they'll see sense and go for the better person. Whether that's you or not is a different question.

Whenever this has happened to me I always felt disgusted at being put in a position where I have to compete and immediately pull out. This technique has been known to get me the girl and to not get me the girl. Either way, I saved face and that's the most important thing. To me anyway.

― Ian SPACK (Ian SPACK), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I listen to Positive K's "I Got a Man" on repeat and then have a several drinks.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

oh and I might add that the other girl who's after this particular guy (at the moment) is known to be a bit of a psycho. Obviously I'm worried that if she knows I'm after him too, she might want to kill me or something.

― jellybean (jellybean), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Undermine her at every turn. And make sure the psycho rumor reaches Mr. Right's ears.

― bnw (bnw), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

You're a horrible evil man, bnw.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 03:11 (twenty-two years ago)

well, this may make you feel sadder, jellybean.. but rarely does someone go "Hmmm, I guess I'll have to flip a coin or roll a die". Either he's clearly gonna like you, or like someone else... if you do anything desperate, that's the equivalent of putting on fecal perfume. (Now mind you, he might be into being fought over, or poopie smell, or both!)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Or maybe closer to the point, if the guy is all "oh yeah, a smorgasbord... I think I'll check all of them out and decide", then don't expect anything serious with him.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

This kept happening to me since the fourth grade. For me I used to just give up/don't think about it...and just hope the person liked me anyway. Maybe it's just me being clueless, but I never really saw the point of playing these kinds of things like a sport or a competition.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 03:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

(Actually at first I thought "hurt" was "had". That would've made it the most insightful thing I'd ever heard in a pop song; but now I think it's merely the most insightful thing I've heard in a British pop song. Admittedly I've yet to have the opportunity to apply it myself.)

― B.Rad (Brad), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

i have always hated the 'competition' thing and think it is demeaning to join in. strangely enough, by being uncompetitive i have actually always ended up in relationships with the men i fancied.

― donna (donna), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 03:52 (twenty-two years ago)

True, there's not much you can do other than make it clear you are interested in him... and then wait to see if the feeling is mutual. Of course the "making it clear" part is where I always seem to fall down, so I think someone here can probably offer a better plan for that.

― Jen (nstop), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm afraid to say it but I'd just give up. I am a pessimist when it comes to love.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

challenge her to a DUEL on a misty morning in university parks, shurely that's the only sensible way of solving problems like this :)

also Hi Jill! how are you dear :)

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

LOOK BETTER LOOK BETTER LOOK BETTER always fucking comes first, doesn't it? Put me down for one of those face transplants, definitely.

I don't do anything about it. I cannot "compete." I am too much hard work for any potential Other. There's always someone else out there who's much easier to deal with.

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Precisely, I usually just give up. but I like this bloke a lot. But telling him really isn't an option since I tried that last year with someone else, and hasn't spoken to him since.

― jellybean (jellybean), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

give up, now. just do it. you'll be happier in the long run.

― kate, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Curl up into depressed ball and try not to think about it.

That wasn't quite what you meant, though?

In my case, the solution is not hang out anywhere near Nick Dastoor, with whom I seem to share taste in chix0rs but fall way, way short when it comes to cheekbones, hair, wit and that cheeky, winsome look that makes people want to mother him AND fuck him.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ew, ew, ew! There are certain names and words which should never be mentioned in the same sentence.

― Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

The song 'Cut Across Shorty' (there's agood version by the Faces, but the original is by Eddie Cochran) is urgent and key here: Miss Lucy has her suitors run a race for her hand, but keeps shouting the title at one party, making me wonder what the point of the race is.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

ditto, nicole! yuck, yuck, yuck! thanks for spoiling my appetite for the second time today...

fucking boys you want to mother, eeeuuuuwww. oh, wait. does wanting to give boys a bath count? i'm worried...

― kate, Tuesday, 3 December 2002 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. Chow - I love I Gotta Man. I have that video on tape and used to watch it over and over. So much sass in one little song!

But anyway.
I have a story about being a real bitch last time I had this problem.
When I met my current b.f., his best friend was female and he ALSO confessed he had a crush on her. I managed to totally destroy their friendship (mostly just by being whiney and pathetic) to get her out of the picture and just make everything about me. I feel a little guilty. But that was 4 years ago and I'm OH so much more mature now (but also he's mine all mine now - Mwah ha ha!).

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

You should just tell him. The worst case scenario is that he rejects you, which would probably be better than having to discreetly compete for his affection with some psycho bitch.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Start a relationship with the psycho bitch.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

lose

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah - "are you a chef? cuz you keep feedin' me soup"! best line ever. I use it all the time as it tends to spice up otherwise boring conversations. I can't even remember the video. do you still have it?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

You should use all means possible to sabotage the competition. Be underhand if necessary.

Once upon a time, when I was about 17, I had a crush on a particular guy. He fancied someone else - I'll call her "L", in case she happens to look in here one day and discovers the truth. "L" was petite and pretty, and therefore I was in serious danger of losing out. One evening we all went out on a pub crawl followed by a trip to the fairground, and "L" was flirting outrageously with the object of my affections.

I managed to surreptitiously lace her drinks liberally with vodka, talked her into eating a whole packet of Dextrosol instant energy glucose sweets, then cajoled her into going on the Waltzer. I bribed the fairground guy to make her waltzer car spin round and round very very fast indeed for the whole length of the ride and was rewarded by the marvellous sight of "L" throwing up in a most spectacular fashion.

The guy in question was horrified, and gave me a lift home instead. Success!

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

And I thought I was a psycho bitch! That's awesome, CJ!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Free alcohol, sweets and super fairground rides! CJ, I am after your boyfriend/girlfriend!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 3 December 2002 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark C - just how *unattractive* are you?

― Lara, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(I apologize for this, but I've got SUCH a dirty mind...)

*cough* threesome *cough*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Who is this cunning fox?

― Lara, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

This is a rum thread.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I just think it's odd.

― Lara, Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Sit in the corner and cry.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that story true CJ, it sounds like an episode of Looney Tunes.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

It is true Ronan, but I'm not particularly proud of what I did. Still, "needs must" and all that.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I've changed my mind on this. This girl I'm besotted with appears to be dating a disgusting ginger long-haired bearded ugly oaf who wears bad leather jackets. I'm not certain if they are seeing each other, he might just be one of those gimpy guy mates who loves the girl and the girl just dangles along and pretends not to notice the love. Either way, I'm gonna go full on in taking her away from this guy. So to change my earlier answer - if the competition is pathetic then go go go for it.

― Ian SPACK (Ian SPACK), Tuesday, 10 December 2002 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

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