excelsior...laughing...YOU KNOW THE DRILL!!

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), November 13th, 2003. (later)

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), November 13th, 2003 10:28 AM. (Dom Passantino)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks. Now I hate my favourite band.
-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), November 13th, 2003 10:29 AM. (Nick Southall)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

we'll always have the boathouse, spencer.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 13th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

my, she was yar.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), November 13th, 2003.

-- retort pouch (retortpouc...), November 14th, 2003. (later)

Christ, I have become Lord Custos. Sorry.

-- retort pouch (retortpouc...), November 14th, 2003. (later)

Oh! Oh come on, without the accompanying photo it makes no sense ;)

(xpost I sez you don't!)

ha ha AWESOME...like PRAISE THE LORD, A SOFT FLAT SURFACE!!!
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), November 13th, 2003 5:09 AM. (nickalicious)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or
"Where did you throw up?"
"Over there"

-- Chris B. Sure (formerlypoopsmcge...), November 13th, 2003 5:10 AM. (Chris V)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would kill a man for a soft flat surface now.
-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), November 13th, 2003 5:10 AM. (afarrell)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"HE WENT THAT WAY OCIFFER!"
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), November 13th, 2003 5:11 AM. (nickalicious)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), November 14th, 2003. (later)

-- dave q

Laughed loud enough for flatmate to ask if I was okay.

-- Michael Estona (meston...), November 14th, 2003.

only if this is a random googler, who is fed up with Rosie O'Donnell only being appreciated for her looks. Dammit, she sings showtunes too!

-- Anna (Fieldingann...), November 14th, 2003. (later)

Anthony James.

I'm thinking of shearing off the James and reducing my first name to an initial. People will think I'm an asshole, and they'll be right, and it'll be fantastic.

-- Ferg (....com), November 13th, 2003 10:56 PM

yes - everyone needs and can benefit from good culinary advice... you can't take offence. it's not as though i'd say: dried pasta is better you cunts, now fuck off" or anything

-- teeny (teeny@b...), November 14th, 2003 1:19 PM. (teeny) (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------

but the trick is that you have to rub it in.
-- teeny (teeny@b...), November 14th, 2003 1:19 PM. (teeny) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Word
-- Baaderist (fabfon...), November 14th, 2003.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Even if your name is Hillis 3000, Hollywood or Qoolout?
-- Broheems (electrifyingmoj...), November 14th, 2003. (diamond) (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

ESPECIALLY them
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 14th, 2003. (dubplatestyle) (later)

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), November 14th, 2003 8:06 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's the best I could do on such short notice, sorry.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), November 14th, 2003 8:06 PM.

Fits. Straight.

-- kephm (keph...), November 14th, 2003 4:26 PM. (link)

Booyah is not a phrase it's a paradigm!

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), November 14th, 2003 4:27 PM. (nickalicious) (link)

-- Ally (garance8...), November 1st, 2001.

-- Leee Majors (redhalcyo...), November 14th, 2003. (later)

(x-post)

better yed wd be avril's follow up to "sk8r b0i", "h4x0r fux0r"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whereas certain ilxors (matos' minions to be specific) don't toggle away and then i ask them something and they ain't there and i am made the choad.
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 9th, 2003 10:13 AM. (James Blount) (later) (link) (admin) (128.192.128.131)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

toggle away ppl!
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 9th, 2003 10:13 AM. (James Blount) (later) (link) (admin) (128.192.128.131)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

toot toot
-- stevem (bluesk...), December 9th, 2003 10:15 AM. (blueski) (later) (link) (admin) (62.140.207.140)

-- nickalicious

(talk about trying too hard to fit in)

-- chris (cbrassica

...for us to POOP ON.
-- Ned Raggett

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), April 13th, 2003 11:35 AM. (nabisco) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

we're in serious trouble anyway, why not

-- Millar (tmilla...) (webmail), April 13th, 2003 11:41 AM. (Millar) (link)

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), December 9th, 2003 11:51 AM. (amateurist) (later)

-- El Diablo Robotico

And they really would just not stop necking. Get a room! What are you, animals?!
-- Casuistry (chri...) (webmail), December 9th, 2003. (later)

whatever, they were only doing it for the camera, goddamn Saska-show biz wolves.
-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...) (webmail), December 9th, 2003. (later)

AND pasta italiano soup.

-- Sarah McLusky (x77tigersxu...), December 9th, 2003 3:49 PM. (coco)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seven beans, not enough!
-- HULK LIKE SOUP (nza2342...), December 9th, 2003 3:50 PM. (nickalicious)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eleventeen bean soup!
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), December 9th, 2003 3:50 PM. (nickalicious)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

INFINITY bean soup!
-- Sarah McLusky (x77tigersxu...), December 9th, 2003 3:52 PM. (coco)

I was eating gummy bears as I opened this thread and now I'm not because of this thread.

-- Maria (silyl_ari...), December 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

-- Allyzay (fuck...), December 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 9th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No. I used to live in Oakland. Oakland is a different city.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 9th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think we have learnt something today. together, we can only get stronger
-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 9th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How'd we learn that?
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 9th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

osmosis
-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 9th, 2003.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), December 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

Although your subsequent email to my colleague here does underline the frankly futile nature of our brief but almost unbearable conversation, I must also point out that it betrays an unfortunately weak grasp of reality.

When you called, what you effectively were asking me to do was operate as a PR Agency on your company’s behalf for absolutely no incentive to us whatsoever. A laughable request of course, but since you were clearly 20 minutes from deadline and blatantly flaking under the pressure of the prospect of missing out on a precious PR op because of your own inadequacies, you categorically failed to note that your request was utterly risible.

That said, you also failed to note to my colleague in your petty smokescreen of a complaint, fired off to make you feel better about your own inability to communicate, that despite your pisstaking, I did ask you several times how we could speed things up, make things easier for you. Ah, it’s always a joy when good intentions get thrown back in your face by a pinheaded, pushy moron such as your almost-hilariously obnoxious self.

What I and my colleagues here found most hard to take while we were guffawing over your misguided and pompous email, was your ignorant slander that I "need a lesson in good manners" and that I "should remove the cotton wool from my ears." A-hahahahahahahahaha. Good one pal. But again, your recollection is warped by your pitiful inability to recognise your own pathetic floundering. While you repeatedly asked me to do something which a: was your own responsibility, b: was nothing to do with my company, c: I would not have been able to do even if I had wanted to, d: was flagrant pisstaking, you will recall that I kept you on the line, though the conversation was almost as excruciating as Chinese water torture, in a foolish attempt to get you to seek an alternative that would have been acceptable to the both of us. This, of course, you were either too stupid, too panicked, or too bloated with a perverse sense of your self-importance to even attempt to do.

Anyway, I suppose I just wanted to thank you on behalf of everyone here for supplying us with a good laugh on this grey Wednesday morning. I would however, advise you to take a long hard look in the mirror before you next start throwing insults and slanders about recklessly, else you are liable to continually come across like a complete and utter prick. And if you want to mount covert character assassinations, make sure you sound off to somebody who has at least an ounce of sympathy for your spineless cause, otherwise you not only look childish, but cowardly.

Go fuck yourself.

al

-- Alex K (alex...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

She's DEAD, you insensitive bitch. -- NA (naamm...), December 10th, 2003 12:52 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

I LOVE MY DEAD MAE WEST -- TOMBOT (hooh...), December 10th, 2003 12:53 PM. (later) (link)

-- HRH Queen Kate (masonicboo...), December 10th, 2003. (kate) (later)

(And that's a good thing.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They recommended, yeah, changing your sheets. And vacuuming. And getting rid of piles of firewood left underneath your bed, I think. Though some infested people have supposedly been freezing their pillows in the freezer during the day. Which supposedly keeps the bugs away. Though I'm guessing it might also make your head very cold.
There was also a very yucky description of how they suck blood.

-- chuck (cedd...), December 10th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this whole thread is a radiohead lyric waiting to happen
-- mark p (mark.p****...), December 10th, 2003.

Another one! N. has a natural ally now! Maybe.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 10th, 2003. (Ned) (later)

I'd just like to reiterate that I really despise the word "ally".

-- Allyzay (endlessfunnyjoke...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

the combination of 1. "Saskatchewan, Naturally" and then Ally's posts and then Ned saying "natural ally" and then my brain reflexively trying to come up with some clever one-liner about this confluence of syllables has made me feel pain.

-- TOMBOT (BZZTCLUN...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

xpost

-- TOMBOT (malfunctio...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

Oh dear.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 10th, 2003. (Ned) (later)

NOW I'M SINGING "NATURAL WOMAN" IN MY HEAD EXCEPT INSTEAD OF "WOMAN" I AM SINGING MY OWN NAME I HATE YOU ALL.

-- Allyzay (ga...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

also the word "syllables" contains "ally" backwards

-- TOMBOT (BLARGGH...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

Really? OH SHIT THERE'S ANOTHER WORD WITH MY NAME IN IT!!

-- Allyzay (gaaaa...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

In a way, we all contain Ally backwards.

Not in a way that makes any sense, though.

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), December 10th, 2003. (afarrell) (later)

*KABOOM MY HEAD EXPLODES HERE*

-- dead Allyzay (RI...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

I guess I'll just go ahead and change my last name to "Myllar" then

-- TOMBOT (neverendingcycleofmentalistdoo...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

EXCUSE ME YOU ARE DISTURBING MY DEADNESS OVER HERE, KEEP IT DOWN MILLAR VANILLAR.

-- dead Ally (worstide...), December 10th, 2003. (later)

yllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-- Haikunym (zinogu...), December 10th, 2003. (Haikunym) (later)

-- Otis Wheeler (owheele...), February 3rd, 2003.

i liked her only to the extent that my saying that i'd like her would get me laid. otherwise, i can't stand her. i figure most hetero males fall in the same boat.
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), December 10th, 2003 2:38 PM. (llamasfur)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

how many times did u score?

-- Vic (Iodine99...), December 10th, 2003 4:16 PM. (Vic)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

None, but he got his aura examined for free twelve times.
-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), December 10th, 2003 4:23 PM. (Dom Passantino)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm "rude and ignorant".
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), December 10th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i was waiting for someone to make that joke
-- bad jode (jod...), December 10th, 2003.

Oh hi Nicole, no please put down that knife, no not in my chest ARGH!

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nicole has visions of N. and Fred in ass-out pants!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Licking curly yellow guitars at that.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You forget that I categorize the threads now. From now on I will put all Dan/Ned threads into an "Asshats" category. Seriously.
-- Nicole (nicolew1...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nicole is clearly suffering from cabin fever at the end of this long winter, and it's affected her judgment of Dan and I. Sad, really.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, it's sharpened my perceptions. I now have asshat-dar.
-- Nicole (nicolew1...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*cries*
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You should cry now, cause you'll be lucky if you'll even be able to cry after I destroy you.
-- Nicole (nicolew1...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan, all is lost; flee.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I WILL NOT BACK DOWN. Now Nicole, picture N. emerging from a bathtub and slinking across the floor all catlike towards you as rose petals fall upon is perfectly-buttressed pompadour...
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dig, if you will, a picture
Of N and Nicole engaged in a kiss
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Fred of your body covers me
Can you my darlin', can you picture this?
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dream if you can a web board
An ocean of posters in bloom
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan and Ned strike curious poses
They feel the heat, the heat between asshats and YOU
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How can you just leave N. standing
Alone in this world, Nicole?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe he's just too demanding
Maybe he's just like your father, too bold.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Surely there is a thread I can read that may explain why you are all talking like loons? Why are you using a silly Swedish term?
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They're mentally ill, Lara. Perhaps if we all ignore them they will go away.
-- Nicole (nicolew1...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe he's just like your mother
She's never satisfied (she's never satisfied)
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They're certainly very easily excitable - I worry about people who can whip themselves into frenzies like that.
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heavens now, Lara, your passions on certain matters have been clear enough.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do you scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like WHEN FRED CRIES!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan and Ned: I laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS.
-- suzy (theartskooldisk...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(I will freely admit that this thread is better than "Cats".)
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

actually i am trying to imagine that and am getting fairly nauseous.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Knights of the jaguar" Muse vocal remix
-- Jacob (jwrigh...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no no fiddo you're missing the point. think more, er, some proper dance track or another but with mac mccaughan moonlighting on vocals.
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am still feeling a bit nauseous!
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think we might want to amend this to british and related indie.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

cuz the idea of steve malkmus singing over an acid track is doing my head in.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

beat happening - "our secret (digweed remix)"
-- etc (et...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay i have just vomited all over the keyboard.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

so, she's persecuted cuz the labels don't like tall, gorgeous, and extreme gifted people.

-- Kingfish Beefstick (jdsalmo...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, i suppose being tall, beautiful and talented must be something of a compensation for her?

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She looks like a wrong Gloria Estefan.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well this is true, but i think it is a little mean to kick someone when they are down

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

Does the King return?
-- Pete (pb1...), December 11th, 2003.

(you don't have to answer this time)

-- stevem (bluesk...), December 11th, 2003.

-- TOMBOT (workplac...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That is the weirdest "all I want..." that I've possibly ever seen. ALL I WANT IS TO LOOK LIKE DER FUHRER AND STUFF MYSELF WITH SPICY-TEQUILA SOAKED COOKIE PUSS! WHY IS IT ALL SO DIFFICULT!

http://www.whirlybird.org.uk/gareth.jpg
someone should photoshop cookie puss in here somewhere.

-- Allyzay (wtf!!...), December 11th, 2003. (later) (link)