Hilarious Gay Marriage Thread

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so that we don't distract from the serious debate on the Mass Ruling thread

first up: Instead of all this wrangling over whether or not gay rights are constitutional, someone should look into whether or not the constitution is gay!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I think your Constitution's FABULOUS!!!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew this would be Horace the second I laid eyes upon it.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps it was the inclusion of the word "hilarious".

(what happened to the jobwatch, Huckleberry?)

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I just like the idea that it will soon be okay to wear tails and a garter together again!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Jobs are so gay. They should move to Massachusetts and get married!

Whoo, this just reeks of hilarity.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

if gay marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will be gay...and married.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/350000/images/_351512_odd.jpg

http://www.angelfire.com/ca6/atc/felixoscar.jpg
Ah, for the 60's, when such men could openly sport sideburns.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

seriously, check out the ep where they go undercover in suburbia.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm growing fair-size sideburns as we speak.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

my sideburns rock.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe you are secretly gay, or married

― Vic (Vic), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Adam and I complete each other. There is no shame.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

We are joined at the sideburn, like hideous Siamese.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

or Civil War generals.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Hush, I fear Ned will find out about your sideburns and destroy you!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:27 (twenty-two years ago)

so, am I to assume that sideburns are the gay male equivalient of a wedding band?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

You're thinking of cockrings.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Just close your eyes and imagine big, brassy cockrings.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, now I want you to lean back in your chair and just let your muscles relax. Let your jaw slowly drop open.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

That's it, good.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I want you to imagine yourself in a Falcon video.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

so, am I to assume that sideburns are the gay male equivalient of a wedding band?

hey, that beats a wedding DJ any day.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Forget Falcon, you want to envision the perverse youth you never got to live. Think Bel Ami

― Vic (Vic), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Sideburns. Chris - is this stuff real? Or is it just another hanky codes thing? Or is that real, too? I'm confused.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, well, now that Jeremy has interrupted, I'm not in the mood to continue this relaxation-therapy-cum-sex-movie-cum-marriage-proposal any longer. Hope you're happy! That was some "sexcellent" low-grade comedy you just derailed.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I don't have sideburns -- not of note anyway (it's not as if I'm violently anti-sideburns or anything).

Hanky codes are oddly real in certain quarters (which I don't so much find myself in, admittedly).

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

what about red ties? (as seen in Carter Beats the Devil)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I have blue eyes, does that count for anything?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(which was, admittedly, set in an era when men wore ties ALL THE TIME--even in the bathtub!)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

x-post

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I am just not having a hilarious morning, I think. I should stick to the E-less thread.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Plus, working on this theory - does having anti-sideburns make Ned homophobic? Or the most heterosexual man ever?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Clearly he'd like you to think it's the latter.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

So I take it the word "hilarious" in this thread title is being used in the same sense that it's being used in this thread title: hilariously posting the same message into every thread -- dud or dud?

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

the most heterosexual man ever?

What, are there levels of being straight? Like maybe wearing sweatpants in public, "hmm, I'm a little bit straight." And then one day you wake up with 12 kids by 13 different women and you're like "Wow, now I'm REALLY hetero!"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Presumably you ate the 13th in a feral expression of just how gun-strokingly, power-tool-purchasingly, big-rig-appreciatingly het you really are, eh, Butch?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

According to my father-in-law, the less books/articles/poems you read and music you hear by women, the more your heterosexuality remians intact. I kept very silent when he told me this.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Kicked that Donna Tartt paperback under the sofa...

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe we should start a men-only thread so we can preserve our hetitude, and y'know, give each other blow jobs.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ack! damn you Sarah Vowell!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I just read a post by a female ILXor, and now I find myself wondering what Jude Law's inner thigh feels like.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

uh, where'd everybody go?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm here, Huck.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

But Sarah Vowell's not really a "woman," is she?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Fwr Vwlls, mr blwjbs!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

hhhh!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

JOTO?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

shhhh, don't let the TWEEs find out

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

What, like me?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Twee To Be You And Mee.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Look, Chris, twee or gay, okay? I've only got the mental capacity to maintain one prejudice at a time...Racism begets stupidity shockah

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

That's like saying "Peanut butter or chocolate"!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

"if gay marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will be gay...and married.
-- Huckleberry Mann

I am sooooooooo stealing that and making t-shirts!

so damn...now that same sex marriage is legal, does this make me a bigamist? I mean, I was counting all my female mates as freebies.

― BurmaKitty (BurmaKitty), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

And then one day you wake up with 12 kids by 13 different women and you're like "Wow, now I'm REALLY hetero!"

THESE AMAZING MATHEMATIX WILL NOT WORK INTO MY BRANE

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

According to my father-in-law, the less books/articles/poems you read and music you hear by women, the more your heterosexuality remians intact.

So worshipping men and hating women makes you not homosexual. OK, glad we cleared up *that* mystery of civilisation...

― Citizen Kate (kate), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

note to all: the whole 12 kids by 13 mothers mathematical improbability thing was an intentional use of comedic absurdity.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

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