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me: oh wait a sec, seals can't drown can they?
s: Dolphins can
me: stupid dolphins
s: don't say that, dolphins are really clever
me: not if they are drowning all the time
-- jel -- (freeduni...), July 16th, 2004 2:04 PM. (jel)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 16 July 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

http://dioforamerica.com/

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Friday, 16 July 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha

Dio Blames Faulty Codpiece for Unscheduled Testicular Cameo

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 16 July 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Seriously, could any man or woman here really, honestly, be happy dating a really fat person? An honest answer is required.
-- C-Man (cma...), July 16th, 2004 10:42 AM.

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Seriously, could any c-man or c-woman here really, honestly, be dating a person? An honest answer is required.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 16th, 2004 10:46 AM.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 16 July 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

My favorite scene is when Henry Miller has to stand perfectly still while the giant sandworm rumbles underneath the ground.
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 16th, 2004.

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that's henry and "dune"
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 16th, 2004.

― ddb (ddb), Friday, 16 July 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

he might stop staring if you start blowing him kisses or hang your cock out of your pants. or both.
this could also backfire horribly and i therefore strongly recommend you try this.

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), July 16th, 2004 1:19 PM.

I think I might trade you Vidro for this.

― The Dreaded Rear Admiral (Leee), Friday, 16 July 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

how does the firewall know that terryrichardson.com is a pornographic site anyhow?
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...) (webmail), July 16th, 2004 1:50 PM. (amateurist) (later) (link)

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auto nipple detection
-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...) (webmail), July 16th, 2004 1:50 PM. (miloauckerman) (later) (link)

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 16 July 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

[]

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Saturday, 17 July 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, that one's been crackin' me up, too.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 17 July 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Forgive me.

This is from 'If Jeff Buckley Had Gills...' on ILM.

If Kirstie MacColl had a stunt ramp for a face . . .
-- Lynskey (pau...), April 3rd, 2003 3:02 PM. (Lynskey)

― Fergal (Ferg), Sunday, 18 July 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey everyone, here's a makeshift alternative to Allmusic.com, until they get rid of this new bullshit interface:
http://www.mp3.com

they license a lot of Allmusic's material (although some info is not available), so you can use it instead. it's not as good as the old Allmusic, but it's a lot faster than the new one.

-- King Kobra (k...), July 16th, 2004.

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but it looks like at least some of the mp3.com reviews are emasculated to remove negative commentary
-- King Kobra (k...), July 16th, 2004.

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God, this Silverchair album is a piece of [HEAVEN]! Whoever thought they could create an album so [WONDERFUL]? The lyrics are astonishingly [MATURE] and it's clear that this record was made only to satisfy [LEGIONS OF DISCERNING MUSIC CONSUMERS].
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 16th, 2004.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 18 July 2004 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

song illustration thread

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 18 July 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.base58.com/ilx/fuckwashingahat.jpg

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Sunday, 18 July 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

dude.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 18 July 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i know, a real bargain!

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Sunday, 18 July 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

assfuck washing a trucker hat?

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 18 July 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I keep my pussy as clean shaven as possible. It's so sexy to separate the labia and take away all the hair. Not to mention how wonderful it feels when my husband goes down on me! Ladies, you can feel every sensation tenfold!
-- ALA (AL...), July 18th, 2004 10:15 PM. (later)

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 18 July 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

example conversation
col: easy opener, friendly chat
gaz: giggle. incoherent point
edward: mini rant
col: agreement, shifting focus
gaz: smile, nod, drink
edward: ...
col: comment on drum sounds
gaz: misses point
edward: abrupt change of subject

-- gaz (mullygrubbe...), July 18th, 2004 8:38 AM. (gaz)

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 18 July 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Nothing, though, compares to the Police Adademy series, which ended the career of everyone who was in it except for Steve Guttenberg. He was, of course, pure evil, and therefore unaffected.
-- Kenan Hebert (edito...), July 17th, 2004 7:05 PM. (kenan)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 19 July 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

and the £1.88 price tag per plastic cup may well explain how they got away with charging an absolutely outrageous SEVEN POUNDS for two pints...
-- CharlieNo4, July 19th, 2004

i know, when she told me the price it felt as if she had just punched me in the face.
and then i of course queued up for another punch in the face.

and the next morning my head felt like i've been punched in the face repeatedly.

-- ken c

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Monday, 19 July 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw, Lixi and Stevem hugging in the mud. Also, is that sparkly eyeshadow on MDC?
-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), July 19th, 2004 1:05 PM. (later)

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I was the victim of a vicious and premeditated assault.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), July 19th, 2004 1:20 PM. (later)

bukkake?

-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 19th, 2004 1:55 PM. (later)

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No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.
-- alix (lixibel...), July 19th, 2004 1:57 PM. (later)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 19 July 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

If he's turning down millions of dollars by refusing to sell his songs for ads, I say bully for him.
I think that if he was in the position of being offered these deals circa Siamese..., he'd probably take 'em. Which is fine, it's not like I look to people like him for consistency anyway (or for consistency in general - it's the hobgoblin of small minds don'tchaknow?). But I do think it's incredibly easy for him to make statements like that about his not wanting to do ads with those songs because he's already a multi-millionaire anyway. I mean, if "Today" was so freakin' special, why dress up like an ice cream man in a video for it?

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), July 19th, 2004.

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because ice cream is special too
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 19th, 2004.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 19 July 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

And more props to the Henry and June thread:

Richard E. Grant is so camp that it's almost okay.

His American accent! And his passionate musicianship (which he always displays when his wife's being fucked or groped by somebody)!

-- naked as sin (myrrhperso...), July 19th, 2004.

I forget if Grant actually says "Oh, I am fucking you, pussywillow" but he might as well have.

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 19th, 2004.

except it would be spelled "O" as in

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 19th, 2004.

I thought this was about the Nickelodeon TV show KABLAM!

-- Curt1sss (sevenxvii...), July 19th, 2004.

it isn't?

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 19th, 2004.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 19 July 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

jews can get tattoos they just can't be buried in jewish cemetaries!
-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 9:59 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

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(if they do)
-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 9:59 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

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well that kinda defeats the point of being Jewish, if you don't get buried in your own special cemetary.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 10:01 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

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tell me about it
-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 10:05 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

there's a riot goin' on

― Nick Apollo Forte (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

The word "emo" means "animal mother" (like a female tiger with kittens) in Finnish, by the way.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 19th, 2004.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't realize that was funny.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm circumcised. When I was born my cocktube was fused together, leading to the horrible situation that my body was rapidly filling up with urea. Not the best of situations. So I got snipped as part of an operation where they basically created a passage, from what I hear using a very hot thin piece of metal (although that might just be my dad trying to give me the, erm, willies). Cross yo legs, boys.

The upshot of which is that the muscles etc. around that region compensated hugely. I don't mean that the Wang turned into a monster, merely that from an early age I could urinate over twice my height. A popular childhood game around our way consisted of things like "Let's see if Porl can clear that greenhouse". Happy memories.

-- Gribowitz (pau...), July 20th, 2004 9:09 AM. (Lynskey)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"The word "emo" means "animal mother" (like a female tiger with kittens) in Finnish, by the way.
-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 19th, 2004.

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), July 20th, 2004.

I didn't realize that was funny.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 20th, 2004."

I just thought that it was funny that all the American kids into emo don't realize what the word means in Finnish.

(I apologise Tuomas if it unintentionally came across that I was mocking you. Rest assured that's not what was intended.)

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Brave New Disneyworld
-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 20th, 2004 4:22 PM.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think that's funny

― amateur!st (amateurist), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think that's funny

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...) (webmail), July 20th, 2004 4:33 PM. (amateurist) (later) (link)

http://www.mahopa.de/bilder/lustige-forenbilder/you-not-funny.jpg

― I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (ex machina), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I thought this one was a lot funnier:

Are Your There God? It's Me, Al Gore.

-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 20th, 2004.

― Huck, Tuesday, 20 July 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Bush: 'I Want to Be the Peace President'

Answers

when i grow up i want to be a principal or a caterpillar

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), July 20th, 2004.
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I wish I could go back in time so I could meet snoopy

-- TheRealJMod (Justimitatin...), July 20th, 2004.

― m. (mitchlnw), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

God bless the noise dudes board: Hey Guys! Introduce Yourselves!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't come the weekend of October 16.
-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...) (webmail), July 20th, 2004 3:41 PM. (rosemary) (link) (admin) ()

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is this from the sexual astrology book?
-- gygax! (gygax0...) (webmail), July 20th, 2004 3:49 PM. (gygax!) (link) (admin) ()

― dean? (deangulberry), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

a crazy, snot-oozing, mouth-breathing, transsexual werewolf from Uzbekhistan

What's Momus got to do with this?

-- AaronHz

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

where is momus anyhow?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

where's aja?

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post
Tokyo.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/imomus/

wonder if he's listening to Thin Lizzy-oh

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 01:27 (twenty-one years ago)

this subletter dude has decided that no baking pans can be stored in, y'know, a cabinet (we have a surplus of cabinet space) and must be stored in the oven. So, of course, every time I light the oven to pre-heat something, I have to remember that, five minutes later, I'll need the hotpot towels to pull 5 big-ass flaming hot baking tins out of the oven. God I hate this guy.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 7:52 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

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Put them in his bed.
-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 7:59 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

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it's my absent roommate's bed, this guy is a subletter.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:00 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

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Put them in your bed.
-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:03 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

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it's already too hot in my room. We're on the third floor, dude.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:08 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

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Put them in someone's bed already?! JESUS.

-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:09 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 01:27 (twenty-one years ago)

A typo from ILB (the book is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime):

"Read this on a quim, figured it would be light and silly. Found myself enjoying it much more than I thought I would. Doesn't it beg to be a film?
-- j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 20th, 2004."

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 07:55 (twenty-one years ago)

DNOT CRY ABUOT IT WEHN YUOR IN TEH PRAM LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 21st, 2004.

― JAKC (ja=Ack_0FF), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP WIHT TEH SALNDER YUO IDOTY. YUO TIHNK YUO WULD BE CLEVRE TEHN ME NWO?> WHY DNOT YUO GO NAD SWIWVEL ON TIHS (MY MDDIDLE FIGER0
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 21st, 2004.

― JAKC (ja=Ack_0FF), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

It would be really funny to out this person's real identity since they seem fixated on harassing me across ILX.

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (J...), July 19th, 2004. (tracklink)

Answers
The Revolution starts now -- death to QWERTY!
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (J...), July 19th, 2004. (tracklink)

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fooey
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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Please Delete the Fat Girl Thread
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004. (tracklink)

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I LEAD THROUGH THE ZONE A/S/L/ PLZ
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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(AGE/SXE.LOCATOIN_
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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(Do regulars have a right to constantly harass people under a pseudonym?)
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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YUO WULD TIHNK TO BE CLEVRE TO KNOW ME RITE?
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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HI DERE VOLUME TOE
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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VERY CLEVRE BUT NOT CIGRE
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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HI DERE VOLUME TOE
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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HEE HEE YUO JUTS AVERTISE ME NOW!
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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This is pretty weak 'harassment', Jon.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), July 19th, 2004.

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I actually agree with Jon that Amazing Randy is acting trollish. If he continues it, perhaps something should be done about it.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 19th, 2004.

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Martin, you didn't see the noise board before I could ban him.
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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Fair enough Jon, but the behaviour I've seen on ILE, where I am a mod, hasn't been so dreadful yet. Also the IP is a floater, so I've no way of knowing if it's a regular or not.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), July 19th, 2004.

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hang on.... "floater"? I think its pretty obvious its a regularrrrr
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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NEW BOREDOMS!!!!!! 9/23/2004 (THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE GYGAX! AND JW KISS EACH OTHER)
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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I think his IP shows up as AOL Europe.
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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LOL
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 20th, 2004.

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WHAT WULD YUO DO IF JONATHON WILI MS HSTENCIL GAYGAX AND OTHERS WNET UP TO YUO DERSSED AS JAPANES SCHOOL GRIL AND SED L INDTED OF R AND VISE VERSUE
He registered a new name just for us.

Also, why can't I lock threads anymore?

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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you can. click "show all details" at the foot of a thread to add thread level permissions
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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Problem :
Insufficient Privileges
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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Amazing Randy is proving to be a good bug checker for admin code :D
(BTW, Alan I appreciate the time you've put into this)

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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where do you get this, what are you trying to do?
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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Clicking on the last link I posted, scroll to bottom, try to lock thread (blank username)
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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I can't even lock this thread. Ncurse! foiled again.
-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), July 20th, 2004.

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OK - i managed to do that. so it must be overzealous in checking who can and can't do this. I will have a look...
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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I think i've fixed that too - it was only working for site admins. try locking a thread now.
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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HELP HELP I'M LIGHT HEADED FROM WHITEBOARD ERASING STUFF
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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WAHT IS IT YUO DOIN????? SOPT ADVERTISIE IT!!!111
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 20th, 2004.

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STOPT AVERTIESING IT
crap threads

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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it would be nice to know if my changes have worked or not. can you now lock threads on your own board?
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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having tried it as a regular mod - i'm pretty sure this is now working as it should. as ever, any problems - let me have em.
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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yea it works
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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Randy's back with another stupid troll identity

WHY CAN'T WE BAN BY IP?

Also, banning the new name isn't working!#@$@#$$#@!$!#!

Hey Guys! Introduce Yourselves!

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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That is, I can't ban the new user id from the entire board.

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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TRACKBACKS are getting listed twice, btw
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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We really need to block ips
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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I ARGEEGF
-- The Amazing Randy (amazin...), July 20th, 2004.

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DEFFO
-- JAKC (jack.of...), July 20th, 2004.

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U DA MAN RANDY U DA MAN
-- ja=Ack_0FF (jack.of...), July 20th, 2004.

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WHO DA MAN
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 20th, 2004.

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U DA MAN
-- JAKC (jack.of...), July 20th, 2004.

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Amazing Randy is getting pretty irritating on ILE, is there anything that can be done about him? Please?

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 20th, 2004.

― JAKC (ja=Ack_0FF), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

that last post is just hilarious! i like totally spat coffee on myself! vintage randy.

― Sheena (Sheena), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i assumed Randy was in cahoots with teh man like Jon

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I JUST WENT TO TAKE A SHOWER AND THERE ARE CONDITIONER-COATED PUBES IN THE SHOWER. DOZENS OF THEM, MAYBE HALF A FUCKING CUP ALL TOLD. AND THERE ARE EGGSHELLS (?) IN THE SINK. AND IT'S 85 DEGREES AND THE BATHROOM'S FILLED WITH STEAM AND THERE'S WATER ALL OVER THE FUCKING FLOOR AND PISS ON THE TOILET SEAT.
Christ, I hate my roommate. And her chihuahua, and her fucking personality, and her bad gas and her 150 minute phone conversations. And I'm not being passive-agressive, (says the guy complaining on ILE) but there's absolutely no way of taking a goddamn shower now. It's all covered with fucking slime. Bitch. And if the chihuahua comes near me again I'm gonna kick the shit out of it.

-- j e r e m y (jcoom...), July 21st, 2004.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Can Jon not see that Randy is to him as he is to the rest of ILE?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, Jon's toned down his act now. And Amazing Randy is irritating to the rest of ILE too, not just Jon.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 21 July 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 705 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

from 'what's the easiest music to make' ilm thread -- it was the prob buy it that did it:

no, noise is the easiest. just crank the volume up on a tape recorder and hold it up to your air-conditioner. then growl a little. that's pretty easy. and i would probably buy it.
-- scott seward (skotro...), August 19th, 2004. (later)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 19 August 2004 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

At this very moment, just fine. Around 1 pm today, however, I had an acute wish-I-was-dead moment as I stood at a payphone in the sweltering heat, dope sick, spending the last 50 cents I had only to get the (never checked) voicemail of The Man who could make it all better. I was sure I was gonna be sick all day but things worked out.

did i read this right?

-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), August 19th, 2004 1:39 PM. (slutsky) (link)

depends, whose voice are you hearing when you read it?

-- cºzen (coze...) (webmail), August 19th, 2004 1:40 PM. (Cozen) (link)

big bird

-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), August 19th, 2004 3:04 PM. (slutsky) (link)

― Harold Media (kenan), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I set 'em up, he knocks 'em down.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 19 August 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Referring to That Le Tigre Single:

---

The single is probably what 'Chinese Democracy' sounds like

-- dave q (scrape10...), August 20th, 2004. (later)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

What's your favourite euphemism for bum sex?

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 19 August 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Mi-Sex were pub rock aliens, yes. They illustrate the dangers of trying to be Gary Numan when you're a pub rock band. Aliens do not drink beer. They drink ice-blue cocktails or take pills.

-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), August 11th, 2004.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 August 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Stevem on the Goldfrapp album:

Comments: Sticking a horse's tail on your arse turns you into a sexy hybrid of Kate Bush and Donna Summer - proven by the scientific electropopart extravaganza that is 'Black Cherry'. Avant-garde more in aspirations rather than in execution, if 'Felt Mountain' was a lonely walk in the woods, 'Black Cherry' is a more an effortless glide down a river of Alison's own vaginal juices - tho hardly as bawdy as Peaches, and a world away from the lewdness of Lil Kim. Even if that's not appealing than the tight programming and quirky hooks of Will Alexander should be. Pretentious? Mais naturellement.

Recommended tracks: Strict Machine, Crystalline Green, Black Cherry

-- the neurotic awakening of s (stevem7...), August 19th, 2004 5:42 PM. (later)

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STEVEM THAT'S DISGUSTING.
-- Alba (albab...), August 19th, 2004 5:45 PM. (later)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 20 August 2004 10:26 (twenty-one years ago)

am going to play the Hugging Game at the next FAP.
(OK, I will cheat. "I might have cancer, pleaes hug me" would be a sure-fire crowd pleaser. Or if people won't hug me, I'll threaten to touch them with my lump.)

-- Super-Masonic Black Hole (masonicboo...), August 20th, 2004 10:40 AM. (kate) (later)

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I've tried that before, Kate, I got slapped. Admittedly my lump was in my trousers.
-- Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (sickmouth...), August 20th, 2004 10:42 AM. (Nick Southall) (later)

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

My name made you laugh? :(
-- nabisco (--...), August 19th, 2004.

NO! gosh no. the 'lets figure out dream theatre' thread title made me laugh.

― kephm, Friday, 20 August 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha nabisco's so funny hahaha what a foreigner! Like on That 70's Show! hahaha
-- Harold Media (1u...), August 19th, 2004.

ER, Um, What? I made a format error, you're just being an idiot.

― kephm, Friday, 20 August 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.bears-behaving-badly.co.uk/images-bad-taste-bears/j-edgar.jpg

― kephm, Friday, 20 August 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"they mostleeee come at night. mostleeeee"
this line is like a rejected billy corgan lyric, or something.
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), August 20th, 2004.

or a goddamn tagline from one of the posters for The Village
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), August 20th, 2004.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

From the Bands spawned from Literature thread on ILB.

"hi i am in santosh from india.i am just joining indian army.
i would like to do something great for my country.
so am looking this pages, i like to see army pages also
so if you have any posters about army ,can you send me
my mail,thank you

-- santosh r. patil (greatindia2...), August 20th, 2004."

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

About TEDDY KENNEDY on the NO-FLY LIST:

Jeez, everyone knows he's only dangerous in a car
-- ())(())()()()(()(LASER)

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously guys my roomie would get plugged by anything with two legs, mesh, and foam.

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), August 20th, 2004 12:48 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)
I have this spare office chair that seems as though it would fit the bill...

-- luna (luna_cee...) (webmail), August 20th, 2004 12:50 PM. (luna.c) (later) (link)

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Friday, 20 August 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

cliches? the end where the mother alien *gasp* isn't dead but is holding onto the ship zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
-- dog latin (doglati...), August 20th, 2004.

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yeah what a boring scene
-- s1ocki (slytus...), August 20th, 2004.

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Ok, but was that a predator ship?
-- ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (j.dubz@RoffleStationZero), August 20th, 2004.

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yeah i mean before Aliens it was done *soooo* many times
-- Ste (ste.foste...), August 20th, 2004.

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i was so sick of confrontations between angry maternal types in exoskeletons and huge mother aliens by that point
-- s1ocki (slytus...), August 20th, 2004.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear, I will buy you a pint if you can say with *total honesty* that you've never beaten off thinking about your roommate. And I'll buy you a chaser if you cried while doing it.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), August 20th, 2004. (later)

― ddb (ddb), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

From the seward's Durst birthday thread:

the closets still
had monsters in them and the dark was only a place i used to hide. girls
were that funny feeling inside that made me blush and want to write
poems.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

said by Fred himself

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

TRIPPIN' BITCHES OUT WHEN WE PLAY A LITTLE SLINT!
WE SWING AROUND TO COLO GET SOME LUCKY DENVER MINT!
KNOXVILLE'S GOT THE HATAS! FUCK THAT SHIT! FUCK THAT SHIT!
PUT A TARP OVER THE COUCH CUZ WE GONNA FUCK ON IT!
I'M LIKIN' TWEEDY FO' SHEEZY! I KNOW THE HATERS GONNA HURL
BUT LIKE JIMMY ATE WORLD MY JIMMY'S GONNA EAT THE GURL!

-- Lil' CeCe The Manthony Tru Playa Trucka Fucka 3000 (anthonymicci...) (webmail), August 20th, 2004 4:45 PM. (Anthony Miccio) (later) (link)

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Friday, 20 August 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I killed a woman on my way to work just this morning. She had racist shoes.
-- adam. (adamr...), August 20th, 2004 2:57 PM. (later)

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No biggie, I just kicked her face off.
-- adam. (adamr...), August 20th, 2004 2:57 PM. (later)

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just to see her die.
-- cºzen (coze...), August 20th, 2004 2:58 PM. (later)

― chrisco (chrisco), Saturday, 21 August 2004 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

GARETH'S GONNA VISIT KANSAS! KENTUCKY! LOUISIANA! MISSISSIPPI! NEW YORK! NORTH CAROLINA! YEAAAHAHAHAHAHAHGGGGGH!

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), August 19th, 2004 2:59 PM. (Anthony Miccio)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 21 August 2004 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a hack.
-- Sexual Air Supply (ada...), August 21st, 2004 12:03 PM.

Well, not a hack, just a domain that's not the BBC.
-- Sexual Air Supply (ada...), August 21st, 2004 12:03 PM.

Oh, and here's the giveaway:
Former Smiths Star Admits: "I just really like being ass-fucked"
Despite the fact that the BBC would never use words like that in a news article [much less the front page], 'ass' is not correct in Britain.
-- Sexual Air Supply (ada...), August 21st, 2004 12:05 PM.

And if you clicked on the article, you'd see 'FAKE NEWS!' in giant letters.
-- Sexual Air Supply (ada...), August 21st, 2004 12:05 PM.

Other than that, you wouldn't have a clue that it was fake.
-- scott seward (sko...), August 21st, 2004 12:07 PM.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 21 August 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

On the T/S: Anal or Vaginal thread....

buk... never mind.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 20th, 2004 11:29 AM. (later)

― chrisco (chrisco), Saturday, 21 August 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Oreo commercial where some dude cops a Nick Drake song and puts his own Oreo lyrics on it. guh!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 21 August 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

re: the noise dudes -

you guys should have your own action figures!
-- adam. (adamr...) (webmail), August 20th, 2004 8:56 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link)

― cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 21 August 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I did not expect to see so many:
* photos of slashed wrists
* pencil drawings of humanoid wolves engaging in sodomy

-- Ernest P.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 21 August 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

WHAT??!!?!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 21 August 2004 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Girl, I reach out my hand to the camera and clench it because I need you. Girl.

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), August 21st, 2004. (Anthony Miccio) (later)

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 21 August 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I suppose the wandering undead of the woods *wouldn't* have so much use for a digital camera. I mean, unless they were on vacation.

-- Kim (grimstitc...), August 21st, 2004.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Saturday, 21 August 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Aren't you Anette bennning?"
"Yes, I am. Don't I look wonderful now - I just had a plastic surgeon reposition one of my "n"s."
-- Girolamo Savonarola (gsa...), August 22nd, 2004 10:40 AM.

― Sexual Air Supply (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 21 August 2004 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i think a NU NU is required....

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's justified, since this is comparatively ancient.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello julio, I don't usually post at this sort of hour! I'm waiting for match of the day to come on! Hello cozen!

-- jel -- (freeduni...), August 21st, 2004 10:12 PM. (jel) (later)

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oh thanks jel, you just reminded me. cozen the olympics are over for the day.
-- Julio Desouza (juli...), August 21st, 2004 10:15 PM. (jdesouza) (later)

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me Vs. you.
-- cºzen (coze...), August 21st, 2004 10:15 PM. (Cozen) (later)

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no i'm tired.
-- Julio Desouza (juli...), August 21st, 2004 10:18 PM. (jdesouza) (later)

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you win.
-- cºzen (coze...), August 21st, 2004 10:19 PM. (Cozen) (later)

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where's my medal?
-- Julio Desouza (juli...), August 21st, 2004 10:20 PM. (jdesouza) (later)

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bronze.
-- cºzen (coze...), August 21st, 2004 10:20 PM. (Cozen) (later)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Sunday, 22 August 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

all of the following threads:

The people in this picture. (16 new answers)
The people in a picture. (3 new answers)
Another question about a Nirvana picture (Unanswered)
Another question about a Nirvana picture, (Unanswered)
e (Unanswered)
This is not a question. I am just telling you that the thread titled "e" is actually another one of my questions about a Nirvana photo. (Unanswered)
Why does it fucking keep putting up so many questions? I must look stupid. (Unanswered)

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 22 August 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

from the guy who brought you all those threads above:

Okay. Enough. This is stupid.
-- Nowell (nowellkolin...)

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 22 August 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

This Nowell is supposedly a 15 year old girl. I'm trying to figure out if this is for real or just a very crafty troll.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 22 August 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Well hes owned up to being a guy now... haha those threads are gold.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Where did he/she own up to that? I missed that part.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

cuz this is the last reference to gender I saw (and hell I may as well Excelsior this):
OK. Whatever.
My name is Noel, I'm 15 and female. I hate when I'm told that I'm wise beyond my years, cuz it feels like the people who tell me that are just being bogus. (You know how teenagers get all pissy when people give them compliments.) But I still feel like - and I feel strangely guilty about this - that I'm the only kid who knows anything and feels any empathy.
Did you just make Aja up on the spot?

-- Nowell (nowellkolin...), August 22nd, 2004 2:26 AM. (later)

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit. Im going mad, I must have seen Noel and just assumed.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Noel can be a girl's name (pronounced No-Well, natch)

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

btw, every thread "nowell" posts that has nothing to do with music (or is just annoying) will now be deleted. k, thnx. - "yr" friendly neighborhood moderator

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ah I was wondering why a Nowell thread metamorphosized before my eyes from asking whether Freddie Mercury was bi or "just gay", to simply saying "I'm Tired" then changing to "This is getting boring".

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Sunday, 22 August 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

oh jeez this thread is long, my poor computer. anyway, this was posted on I Love Books(!). Thread called: An Impertinent Question.

I'm 21 y.o., homeless, bright, w/out an automobile. I think I have a betterthanmost literary potential and i'm musically inclined and talented.
I was sitting in the lounge of a casino this afternoon giving my future potentialities odds: 13:1 against being overwhelmingly successful,
5:1 against being moderately sucessful, 3:1 against being totally destitute, 2:3 against being totally mediocre. My plan is to visit spain over
the winter break and then move there after graduation. Do you think that I'll be successful or should I save myself the trouble and join the
merchant marines and deign to accept my ultimate station as an asshole?

-- b. michael

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

scott, go to Settings> Thread Pages> Show Messages and select "Last 50 answers".

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

good idea, RJG. I did just that. I don't know why i didn't do it sooner! You get used to things being the same, you know?

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

: )

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I made a new one anyway, it just feels like a tradition worth upkeeping (translation: I posted it before reading that last exchange and now I feel stupid :( )

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 22 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Posts above have just made me laugh out loud! I think it was the bear impression.
I also liked 'time, to spare', and N. on 'Maybe she thought it was the 10,000m'. That is so funny! And I write as one who was upset at what happened. Still, it is hilarious, classic N.

-- the bellefox (pinefo...), August 22nd, 2004.

― Bumfluff, Sunday, 22 August 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

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