have you ever left a relationship/place/job/situation and never come back, without explaining why or saying goodbye?

I'm kind of jealous of people who have. There was a woman who worked where I am now before me who just up and didn't come to work one day. They never heard from her again.

Then one day she called in with a question because she was working for a vendor. My superviser was like, "WHA??? IS this so and so???".

A couple of months later, she found out that the woman also skipped out on that job. She just stopped showing up, just like she did here.

I left a note once saying I'd be back in a few days. And that was 1996.

I'm doing it on December 1st.

I just did! (job)

it's a terrible oprah-sim but: "closure" - is it really neccessary all the time or does it just make for a more compelling narrative?

And do more satisfying stories make for better lives?

i left a job once when i was 18. i just walked out in the middle of my shift and never came back. i suppose if i did that now the consequences would be different with references and what not.

a load of temps where i used to work did it.

one time out of the blue we received a letter from some company - one of those temps who disappeared had put our company down as a reference in his new job application!!!!!!!

it's always a better story to confront the problem than to flee it, right? but then again disappearing is kind of dramatic, almost campy... very murakami.

I've done this twice, but I thought about whether it would make any difference and took a calculated risk. In the end it made no difference. Both were at jobs when someone said something so abusive that no humiliation was worth staying there, especially since the abusiveness was just plain abuse, and had nothing to do with my performance or anything I did or didn't do.

In both cases I didn't say a word, just quietly gathered my things, left, and never came back.

i used to be the queen of this. both with jobs and relationships. the key is to have caller id and be ever vigilant when venturing outside of your home. lay low for awhile that is. temporarily abandon your usual routine, etc. always have handy a jacket or coat to hide your face and always be prepared to run. and look out for the guy's friends as well. they may be on a recon mission.

to a job, whatever, who cares.

to do this to a person is cruel

I left a guy once, in the middle of the night, no note, no explanation, no follow-up phonecalls.

He was very weird. I'd love to tell the story but it would take too long. It's pretty funny now that I remember it.

were you living together at the time, penelope?

what about skipping town completely? anyone ever done that?

i don't think i know anyone who's come home to an empty house or left someone/someplace like that in real life, but its epidemic in fiction.

I left my first boyfriend without telling him. It was clear to me it was all wrong, but not to him (I think). I needed to finish it but was terrified of doing so - I was just young and inexperienced. I was going to Italy for 6 months and I told him I'd write, but I never did. I just ran away. No painful dumping. It was 10 years ago and I still feel guilty about it.

No, we weren't living together and I was very young at the time.
I was staying the night at his family home and couldn't wait for lights out to do a moonlight flit.

I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last night and felt lonely and profound. I smoked 2 cigarettes and went over to my ex girlfriend's (from 2002!) with some kind of half assed intention of winning her back. We had been out dancing this weekend together and I missed her. She had Abba hair and we watched Arrested Development. Nothing happened and I wandered off to watch porn for 45 minutes before sleeping.

That is the opposite of this thread.

I do not recommend doing this to another person, as it's cowardly and pathetic and the guilt will haunt you for years to come.

Yes and yes.

I've never done so in any serious relationship but it's generally a shitty thing to do and I don't plan on doing so again. I *almost* did so in a very serious relationship (well, I was going to leave a note but that would've been akin to leaving nothing) and am glad it didn't go that way. The way it did was bad enough. Neccessary, but harsh and painful nontheless.

Jobwise, lots of times though not in the past five years. One was a "good" job were I wore suits and was a manager. No retriubution. Didn't care about it, didn't need it.

Situations, places. No explanations because I never have a reason for anything I do. The cumulative effects of this behavior are now making life more difficult than need be. Having to account for years-long gaps and completely irrational moves is becoming onerous especially when filling out paperwork.

its kind of mean, no matter how serious or unserious it might be. to a person, that is. it might happen to you, and you wont feel very nice

I walked out on university without telling anyone I knew I was going, apart from my flatmates. Part of this was me not wanting to go through the "why are you leaving? Because I hate this place and all of you" conversation, the other part was that I didn't feel anyone would miss me. I don't think I'd ever do this to an individual.

i have a terrible habit of doing this to friends. lately it's been more pronounced. i never intend to cause anyone any harm but i get so anxiety filled sometimes that hiding seems like my only option. it's a shitty way to be.

i bailed on someone who had been supportive and a 'patron' to my artistic endeavours.

sands shifted a bit over time and trust eroded between us. once it's gone (trust) there's no going back.

i'm very bad at goodbyes. this person is a seasoned hand though and knows the score, but yeah i feel a touch guilty although i know i shouldn't.

i bailed on someone who had been supportive and a 'patron' to my artistic endeavours.

sands shifted a bit over time and trust eroded between us. once it's gone (trust) there's no going back.

i'm very bad at goodbyes. this person is a seasoned hand though and knows the score, but yeah i feel a touch guilty although i know i shouldn't

retribution? huh. bring it on.

Jobs, yes. Once I worked for a day as a line cook, got lunch for me and some friends against my future pay check, and never went back. Also I bailed on Pizza Hut. Probably others.

My last crappy temp job I would go sit in my car, intending to driver away forever, but I always chickened out. Stupid responsibility.

I got a friend to tell my boyfriend in 7th grade that I didn't want to see him anymore, but that's as close as I've ever come to flat leaving another human.

Tonight I left a netball practice half-way through, head down, without a word, never to return again. I'm not expecting any retribution, but I am annoyed that I didn't just stay in and watch University Challenge.

i often dream of leaving school this way.

I heard of a new teacher in one of our high schools, a former prison guard, who taught one week and then left his keys in the door one afternoon and was never seen/heard from again.

I spent the entire evening barhopping with a stranger I'd met that night once until they began to bore me to tears. So I waited until they were turned around and then walked outside, hailed a cab and went home. It felt fantastic.

I have had someone do this to me in a relationship & it totally sucked after a year & a half relationship. I got my own back when a year later he said he wanted me back, I reeled him in & then told him to fuck off!!

I usually do this with FAPs.

yeah what's up with that?

A guy on a street in camden once sold my flatmate cannabis for £15, my flatmate only had a £20. The man said he didn't have the change on him, but he'd go and get him some change. He took the money and walked off saying he'd be back. He never came back.

The cannabis turned out to be a block of soft wood.

Duh, Ken, he bought resin in Camden off a guy on the street. He expected...drugs?

I walked out of a job once, but I forgot my coat. By the time I'd gone back and grabbed it they'd roused my boss, who effectively barred the way and forced me to be 'reasonable'. As I am never very far from being this it didn't take much. I stayed there for another 3 months. Most annoying.

ken c's post about getting burned = great.

I've never done this, but I have thought about it in past jobs. Current job = family business, so it's not really feasible, plus it's an ok job, really.

A friend of mine worked in a bank in london during the '80's, and one of his co-workers did the vanishing act. He went off, saying he was getting a sandwich or something, and never came back. He even left his coat, something like three days later, someone said "I wonder where jou (or whoever) has gone". They caught up w.him much late, and he was like I COULDN'T STAND WORKING THERE ONE MORE MOMENT.

suzy i know.. i think he was drunk and gullible at the time. He threw the bit of wood away too, I said he should have kept it and framed it since he paid £20 for that piece of junk. He could have sold it to an arts gallery.

god my typing is abysmal (pt 214)

I left a flat once - the landlord was coming in while I was sleeping and leaving notes in the living-room. The first time it happened I assumed it was because he hadn't known I worked nightshift and would be sleeping when he appeared, so I told him, and advised if he had to reach me to leave a message.

However I woke up shortly afterwards to find another note asking me to call him! Creepy.

I had at the time three pet gerbils, (Greame, Graham and Keidis) two of whom escaped and consequently vanished. I was pretty upset and took to leaving their food out, just in case. (I later realised that at least one of them was still alive after I fell asleep in the living-room and awoke to find him sitting on the arm of the couch watching over me benevolently)

Anyway, I confided in friends what the creepy landlord was doing and their advice was the same - you can get out - so do it!

I did, leaving the holey couch, what could be constituted as vermin, and a few stashes of gerbil food to keep the wee guys going.

I feel guilty thinking that the next occupant employed Rentokil or some-such, but I like to think that Greame and Graham are living there still.