Idiot Teenagers: A Long Post With Lots of Swearing.

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When I got on the bus after work today, there were these two roughly-sixteen-year-old kids, a boy and a girl, sitting in the back, and the boy gave me what was perhaps the most contemptuous glare I have ever received. Not thinking much about it other than "yikes", I sat down a few rows ahead of them, at which point the boy said, "God, you're fucking ugly." Okay, whatever.
"Did you hear me? I said you're so fucking ugly. And you're fat. And you're old and you're gonna die, you ugly fucking bitch. And you're gay, too, and your mom is gay and your dad is gay and your boyfriend is gay and you're gonna have a bunch of gay kids and they're gonna be even fucking uglier than you, you shitface bitch." etc. It was sort of shocking, but, in its own way, sad and even a bit funny. He thought he was really putting me in my place, I guess, and I was just sitting there reading News of the Weird and doing my best to ignore him.
The whole time, the girl was just choking with laughter, and while I didn't care that much since I don't believe I am ugly, fat, or a bitch, and I don't care if someone else thinks that I am, or, much less, that I'm gay, or that I would somehow be enraged at the notion of my family members being gay, it was pretty disturbing. Especially when the boy started getting pissed off that I wouldn't turn around, saying things like "Look at me, you fucking whore". He then began deliberating with the girl over what specific act of violence he should commit against me.
Anyway, it was just stupid teenagers showing off how stupid they are, and, aside from the boy's obvious fascination with the idea of demeaning and harming a woman, the only thing that really bothered me about the situation was the knowledge that there was absolutely nothing I could do to end it. If I turned around, he would think he was getting to me and have some actual fuel for insult, instead of just juvenile, sweary nonsense. Ignoring him only made him more persistent. I thought of a few witty insults, but it would have been pointless to use them.
So, anyway, I finally got off the bus and walked up the block to my house, where I sat on the porch to finish the article I was reading, and three teenage boys on bikes started circling around in front of me, so I nodded to them and they said, "Fuck you!" and rode off.
What is WRONG with the WORLD? What is wrong with people? Did you behave this way when you were a kid? Have kids done this to you? Or is there just something about the look of me that drives strange teenagers into fits of unbridled rage? That would be kind of cool.
Kids are such fat fucking uglies.

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

sounds like you were in england

― charltonlido (gareth), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

Hmmm, that seems like an extreme case. Most teenagers I come to contact with are okay.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:22 (nineteen years ago)

how many other people were on the bus?

― charltonlido (gareth), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:22 (nineteen years ago)

Geez, I can't believe you held it together. I probably would've got off the bus and thrown myself in front of the next oncoming vehicle.

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

Usually when this happens to me i take it to extremes and make the guy feel really fucking small and embarass him in front of his female friend.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:25 (nineteen years ago)

It was an extreme case, but it happens in smaller ways all the time. And I'm sure there were lots of kids like this ten years ago, when I was closer in age to the kids on the bus, but I certainly didn't know any of them. Maybe it's just bus kids. Bus kids are like this to me a lot.

There were only three or four other people on the bus, as it was kind of far out from the city. They were just some older people sitting up in the front and napping.

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:25 (nineteen years ago)

Sometimes I wish I were proficient in a martial art. I'd take the little fucker out.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I thought about trying to embarrass the kid, but it just seemed like in elementary school, when the little asshole bullies are just trying to get a rise out of people.

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

Hmmm. Rocks would be so tempting to use.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

a short post with a bit of swearing: fuck em

― jones (actual), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

I was at a music festival with a few friends having a great time and these two teenage douchbags decided to walk right into one of my friends to show how hard and cool they are. So the three of us turned around and said "why did you do that?" and they turn around and start doing that whole teenage thing of "didn't do anything, what's your problem". At which point the situation escalated drastically and ended bizarrely later on with us dancing next to them in a kind of 'see who can dance the most camply' compitition.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

It might seem agressive but whenever people try shit with my friend he just matter of factly says "do you want a fight" and if they say something like "come on then" then he just calmly says "you can come over here if you like and i'll kick the fuck out of you" and smiles. Out of the 5 or 6 times i've witnesses this over the past couple of years it has never failed to send the troublemaker packing.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, I'm pretty sure the chosen act of violence, which thankfully never occurred, was to throw a rock or something like a rock at the back of my head. I could hear the boy repeatedly thumping something solid on the seat, and the girl saying, "Holy shit, are you actually gonna do it? You'll get arrested" and stuff like that, and the boy saying, "I don't fucking care, the bitch deserves it." Deserves it for existing, I guess.
x-post Haha, I could totally have beat the kid at a dance competition! I didn't know that was an option.

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

This happened quite a bit when I was (uh oh) young too - about (shit!) 15 years ago (ARGH! I'm old!). I remember being 17 and hearing from my friends that they had mocked others. They'd sit on the street and whistle. Obviously someone would turn around and look. They'd yell:"Not you fat ugly cow, move along." and start laughing. Yeah, I wanted to say:"Don't you realize how cruel you are and how pointless your jokes are?" Instead I just didn't let them cheat their exams (one of'em never studied and I sometimes let her read my answers). *mwahahahaha* Actually I only didn't let her cheat because she pissed me off because she was a lazy twit.

― nathalie's post modern sleaze fest (stevie nixed), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:32 (nineteen years ago)

I guess if you start acting incredibly nutty, that would scare the fuck out of a stupid little kid :)

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:32 (nineteen years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/89/1928/320/Bernie_Goetz.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:32 (nineteen years ago)

BLAME RAP MUSIC

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

guys what is clear from this thread is we need to take back the streets.

VIGILANTE DANCING STYLE

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

like the Bee Gees in that one video. Nobody was fucking with the bee gees.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

And you're gay, too, and your mom is gay and your dad is gay and your boyfriend is gay and you're gonna have a bunch of gay kids

i don't know whether to laugh or cry at that.

as for idiot teenagers in general: i dunno. i see a lot of them round glasgow being little shits to each other and to people around them, and sometimes i want to go and grab them and say: "look, you little cunts, why don't you try acting like human beings instead of fucking primates?" ... but i'm quite sure i acted like a DICK when i was that age too. granted, i never randomly abused strangers on a bus, but i did do my share of hanging about smoking in gangs. true, as gangs went, mine was the weediest in town, but ... we might have frightened the odd old lady.

that said, if some kid did give me hassle like that, i would think nothing of giving him both barrels of the grimly insult gun. most of it, i'd guess, would involve mocking the size of his penis and his lack of sexual experience, perhaps with the odd diversion into the sexual proclivities of his mother and sister. i would, of course, be prepared to run like fuck, just on the off-chance the little shit had a knife.

if you walk tall and look like you mean business, sorry-ass teenage neds (sorry ned) do tend to avoid you. if they give you a mean stare, try to give them the kind of look that suggests you're going to rip out their soul. they normally get back to ripping up the bus seats after that.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

Geez, I'm going to have to teach these little shits in a years time. Somebody save me!

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

sorry-ass teenage neds (sorry ned)

Stopped being a teen in 1991 so all is well.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

i have this wonderful image of a junior raggett with a ciggie and a burberry cap.

and a tie.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

"What ho. Fucker."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

sorry, kirsten :( if I had been you I probably would have started bawling

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

Teen ned: "Oi fucka you fat ugly bint don't you know wot kitchens of distinction is? Oi haha she don't know shit, you fuckign crevice."

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

It was more fascinating than insulting, really. I just had no idea what this kid was so pissed off about. You should have seen his face when I got on! It was like I'd just pooped on the floor and offered it to his mother. I actually looked kind of cute today, too. Maybe he had a CRUSH on me!

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.livejournal.com/community/__hot_or_not___/

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

Eventually you sort of get to an age where you seem to be invisible to teenagers, kind of a relief in a way.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

"check the sideburns on that cunt, i'm gonna kill him"

xposts!

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

I don't get this anymore. It might be not living in England, though>

It's not nice.

― a real bear behind the microphone (nordicskilla), Thursday, 23 June 2005 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

i once had 4 teenagers on the bus hold a knife to my throat while giving me abuse. the bus was pretty full but nobody did anything for the longest time. i actually got saved by a woman in her early 20's who stood up and started bawling at them and told them to get of the bus. They actually did it!

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:07 (nineteen years ago)

agh, oh, Kirsten, that sucks. And that feeling of just sitting there and not being able to do anything is awful. But actually, you are doing something in a way. Acting nuts is an alternative, I guess - just going into a screaming, hysterical fit would freak them the fuck out probably.

The only time this happened to me in any sustained way was, in fact, in London, on a bus - it took three hard, silent staredowns at the girl and she and her friends went back to ripping up bus seats and such. But they couldn't have been more than 12 - I was more concerned about *how the fuck* they could act in such a way or where they learned to - fascinating and scary, yeah.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

I got raped on a train carriage with other people in it and they did nothing. People suck.

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

"you can come over here if you like and i'll kick the fuck out of you"

I like that.

Kirsten, that just sucks - I'm sorry you had to deal with it.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:10 (nineteen years ago)

thats fucked up

if i saw that happen to anybody i would go nuts. Like litrally, throw nuts in their faces, real salty ones and they'd fall to the floor all like "AHHH THE NUTS THEY WENT IN MY EYES, MATE"

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:15 (nineteen years ago)

that was an xxxxpost

if i saw a rape i would be ripping dicks off.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:15 (nineteen years ago)

This shit makes me so angry. I just can't accept that it's best to do nothing.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks. It could have been a lot worse, as Kate's post (oh my god) makes terribly clear. Maybe I should start lifting weights and get huge biceps and get tough tattoos on them.
x-posts

― kirsten (kirsten), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

Well I did yell at them to call the cops, but no reaction, so I got off the train and ran down the street feeling something like this:

http://www.studentsforbhopal.org/KimPhuk-napalm-girl.jpg

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:17 (nineteen years ago)

Similar tale....

Things that make me want to go on a pistol-whipping spree.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:22 (nineteen years ago)

by the fifth and sixth word into kirsten's post ("the bus") i understood all too well.

when i was on the bus just now the driver kicked someone off who was sitting with an open can of beer -- the guy with the beer was drunk and got really loud and belligerent about having to leave, but the driver wouldn't move until dude was off the bus.

― jody l'anti-vierge (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 23 June 2005 22:59 (nineteen years ago)

that's horrendous, kate - oh my GOD. Not that it means anything, but I'd have done something.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 23 June 2005 23:12 (nineteen years ago)

That kind of siutation numbs you. I was lucky I could even get home I felt so out of it.

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Thursday, 23 June 2005 23:14 (nineteen years ago)

I once bought a kitten in Mexico that some drunken teens were dragging around from an electrical cord, for a dollar. I let it go in a church cemetary.

― andy --, Thursday, 23 June 2005 23:27 (nineteen years ago)

I sympathise with Alex in NYC's pistol whipping fantasy.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 23:28 (nineteen years ago)

next time i'm on the bus and there are menacing teenagers i'm going to make the pre-emptive move of screaming black flag in their faces.

this thread has got me mad.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 23 June 2005 23:37 (nineteen years ago)

Makes me mad too, especially cos (if you're me), you replay these kinds of situations in your head, get mad, think of what you might've done, etc, etc, when you know that the fuckers aren't even worth the emotional effort. A catch 22 of sorts.

― paulhw (paulhw), Friday, 24 June 2005 00:39 (nineteen years ago)

i naively assumed this kind of thing only happened in movies but i am very very sheltered. i would've beaten that kid's ass. i fight dirty.

― latebloomer: We kissy kiss in the rear view (latebloomer), Friday, 24 June 2005 00:53 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 24 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

you know how halfway through genesis, god gets so disgusted with mankind that he decides to drown the fuckers? that's how i feel after reading this thread.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 24 June 2005 22:48 (nineteen years ago)

But what if God was one of us?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 24 June 2005 22:54 (nineteen years ago)

Just a stranger on a bus = he would shout foul-mouthed abuse at us

This thread is making me feel unusually violent, I hope it's just being slightly drunk rather than a newfound tendency to pre-emptively headbutt suspicious looking youths.

Some kid shouted "I'M GOING TO KILL HIM, IN HIS FUCKING SUIT" in my general direction this afternoon, but it's possible he was just loudly discussing killing somebody else in a suit with his friend.

― M Annoyman (Ferg), Friday, 24 June 2005 23:20 (nineteen years ago)

If he'd meant me I assume he'd have mentioned the cowboy hat.

― M Annoyman (Ferg), Friday, 24 June 2005 23:21 (nineteen years ago)

kate stop putting yerself down, you are fine.

― moley, Friday, 24 June 2005 23:30 (nineteen years ago)

Watching Batman Begins last night has convinced me that the best way to deal with this kind of thing is to lunge at the teens and beat them savagely until their features are recognizable.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Friday, 24 June 2005 23:55 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus Christ, UNRECOGNIZABLE.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Friday, 24 June 2005 23:56 (nineteen years ago)

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, KATE, NOW I'M REALLY GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE!

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Friday, 24 June 2005 23:58 (nineteen years ago)

kate stop putting yerself down, you are fine.

I wasn't putting myself down. I was quite suprised that any overweight person would respond in an irritated manner because someone had no choice but to touch them on public transport.

― Making off like a lucky bandit / Kate (papa november), Saturday, 25 June 2005 01:02 (nineteen years ago)

Shit, I'm really sorry, kirsten and Kate. I wish I could offer more.

Does this happen often to women?

― Sundar (sundar), Saturday, 25 June 2005 01:38 (nineteen years ago)

did you read the yelling things out of cars thread?

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 25 June 2005 01:50 (nineteen years ago)

anecdotally speaking, it's been a long time (a couple of years I guess) since anything like Kirsten's experience happened to me, but about half the time I go out, I get some sort of comment from a car or passerby. It's usually no more than a 'hey sweet mama' sort of thing, nothing too threatening, but a week ago I had a guy in a pickup truck follow me as I walked, offering to pay me for sex. If you cataloged them all you'd go crazy, so you just put them out of mind.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 25 June 2005 01:57 (nineteen years ago)

also fwiw, I grew up in a small town, spent my 20s in a college town, and am now in downtown st louis, and the 50% stat holds, it's just the perps have been different.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 25 June 2005 02:00 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, I knew the come-ons etc were common (and still unfortunate). I might even get the odd comment out of a car. I was wondering about real or threatened violence and extreme verbal abuse of this sort.

― Sundar (sundar), Saturday, 25 June 2005 02:05 (nineteen years ago)

I have a pronounced scar on my left eyelid that I've sported since infancy which I've spent the better part of thirty-seven years living down (there are people with real problems in the world, and I am not one of them, thus I'm in no position to whine about it), but I've always been somewhat self-conscious about it. As a kid, it was invoked all the time -- kids have very little problems with breaches of etiquette. It's rarely brought up now that I'm an adult (though a salesperson at B&H Photo on 34th street once boldly asked, while I was attempting to purchase a camera strap from him, "jeez, what happened to your eye?") That all said, about two years ago, I was coming home from a late night at work and while brushing through a gaggle of thick, broad-shouldered teens on Broadway, one unsolicitedly barked. "Nice eye, you freak" and it instantly reduced me to the angry, self-conscious nine year old I used to be.

And people wonder why I appear so angry all the time.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 25 June 2005 02:23 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, I forgot about how when I was on the Greyhound on Monday this boy about my age (maybe a little younger, possibly even older) laughed his ass off when I knocked my head against the overhead luggage carriers on board since I'm one tall mofo. I laughed it off but he kept harping on about it for a minute with a few other people on board and I childishly wished they would all mature.

― Ian Riese-Moraine eats nation-states for breakfast! (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 25 June 2005 02:43 (nineteen years ago)

My youngest brother (he's 27) moved to London about a year ago and he tells a totally different story, which is weird. He was just telling us the other day that he reckons people in London don't bother to say anything to you unless it's highly complimentary. He was travelling by bus with a most attractive female friend of his when a young guy stopped them and asked "are youse two, like, models or something? Cause you look fine."

Of course, he mostly travels by bus from Muswell Hill to the city centre and back again, so maybe it's different in other areas.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Saturday, 25 June 2005 07:16 (nineteen years ago)

my ex got hassled by teens on a tubetrain before we dated, and they threw a can at her that hit her in the head and made her bleed. its a horrid story.

― stevie (stevie), Saturday, 25 June 2005 08:40 (nineteen years ago)

This thread chimes in with how I've been feeling lately. I don't quite know what did it but I'm operating a zero dickhead tolerance policy at the moment, if I can intervene, I will. I'm just sick of wankers.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 25 June 2005 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

i. really aggressive teenage black girls
ii. not sure this ever happened IRL but i do remember an aggressive troll encounter in an ilx/AIM chatroom: trumpin his "ur all gay" w. "well, i *am* bisexual, so i guess yr RIGHT" and after a bit of nervous scoffin he was all "weird! what's it like?" (important info: i think everyone but he and me had left the chatroom - or at least left their screens - at that point)

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 25 June 2005 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

my friedn and i were on a train while my other friend was hiding in the toilets so he didnt have to pay. the two of us were making trumping noises at this big angry strong ( could beat us to a pulp with his little finger) man and we were doing it for half an hour when we noticed that he was staring at us through the reflection in the train window , thats when he turned round and shouted at us that he would kill us cos he was tryin to sleep and then he moved seats.At this point my friend came to join us from hiding in the toilets and saw the guy..and being liek minded to us , and not knowing we had been harrassing him and he'd already drawn the line and warned us not to cross it, he threw his chocolate wrapper at the guy and then hid thinkign he would just be a little mad and not bother.The guy went completely barmy grabbed the guy who just came back from the toilet by his hair and threatened to kick his head in! I suppose we were the bad guys in this story but it was only trumps! trumps i tell ya paaaaarp hee hee

― mr fitzgibbons, Saturday, 25 June 2005 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

It would not make me sad if you fell under a bus, mr fitzgibbons. Does that make you want to go bother someone?

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 25 June 2005 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, this is not an American phenomenon at all. Becoming "adult" in American culture doesn't entail developing a superego so there is nothing for kids to make fun of.

― hi, Saturday, 25 June 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

ugh, this is terrible! I'm sorry Kirsten, and sorry for everyone else and their horror stories! This is why kids scare me, because it seems like I hate teenagers. My biggest fear is that I'll have a kid and they will turn into a TEENAGE TERROR. Nothing this bad has ever happened to me, it's just funny to witness teenagers thinking they are really badass, because you know most of the time they are boiling with insecurities. But I shouldn't be too harsh, I know there are plenty of nice ones.

― gunther heartymeal (keckles), Saturday, 25 June 2005 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

I don't think Mr Fitzgibbons tale warrants death, not at all. Like he said, it was only trump noises - hardly on a par with YOU FUCKING GAY BITCH really.

― Affectian (Affectian), Saturday, 25 June 2005 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

In fact, I'd quite like to witness the above scene. A couple of weedy chaps making fart sounds at a big muscly man, then the unwitting buddy comes along and does a naughty thing and gets his comeuppance. It's like Whizzer & Chips never folded.

― Affectian (Affectian), Saturday, 25 June 2005 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

well a trump trump trump to you mr rock hardy. you did a trump your mum did a trump your girlfriend did a trump and you are going to have kids who will do a trump so there !

― mr fitzgibbons, Saturday, 25 June 2005 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus Christ, Kristen and Kate and others, I am so sorry that you had to live through that. There is absolutely no excuse for such meaness and violence. People get off by seeing how much they can push someone's buttons, but it doesn't work if they can't get a reaction. But even if you choose to fight, nowadays you can't have a regular fist fight without worrying about some psycho pulling a box cutter on you.

― Je4nne ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Saturday, 25 June 2005 17:52 (nineteen years ago)

For fuck's sake -- don't fight on this thread.

― Je4nne ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Saturday, 25 June 2005 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

He then began deliberating with the girl over what specific act of violence he should commit against me.

You should have had the driver call the cops at this point. That's probably the best way to put him in his place without getting blood on yourself.

x-post Mz Fury has a good idea there - about carrying a box cutter with you at all times!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 25 June 2005 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

So yesterday I almost get into another car accident. The wife and I were going to look at houses and this shithead pulls right out in front of us without looking. I slam on the breaks and start honking and flipping them off. At the next stop light they pull up along side of me and roll the window down. Two teenage girls...so the driver starts calling me a fat ugly fuck and screaming "thats how I pull out of my driveway you fuck!" Of course im bullshit at this point and I call her a teenage cunt. At this point my wife is telling me to shut up and im screaming. Now the girl starts "i'll shoot you in the fucking head"...getting all gangsta on me, so I tell her to go for it. She gets out of the car and grabs a golf club out of her back seat and comes over to my window with it. So at this point Im fucking furious and get out of the car and she swings the club at me. I block it with my "miyagi" moves and rip it out of her hands. Mind you traffic is whizzing by at this point. Of course I wanted to whack her with it but i realized im fighting with a teenager who thinks she's a gangsta. So i tell her to get in her fucking car and beat it before I crack her skull open. She does. I hate this city.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Monday, 27 June 2005 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

Some 12 year old boys were blowing popcorn through straws at the entire crowd in Swiss Cottage Odeon yesterday afternoon. Eventually, someone turned around to them and told them to stop. I had spent half an hour feeling like I was in school again (inside, I was quite upset), except this time I realised I could have actually done something...and didn't. It's surprisingly difficult in a darkened cinema to do anything, and everyone else was ignoring them. Nevertheless, I realised at that point I could have carried them all out by the ears, and really wanted to. I had the fear of being accused of assault! But if others had wanted to do something...Why don't they?

― Bill (bill), Monday, 27 June 2005 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

the fear of being accused of assault

that probably answers your question.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 27 June 2005 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

Well, yes. So, then, should I or anyone else actually have been scared of being accused of assault. Or at least not picked them up by the ears and go and do something else about the little shits?

― Bill (bill), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

thats all i could think of yesterday while she was swatting at me with the golf club. ok, should i belt this bitch across her head with this thing and possibly go to jail...or threaten to whack her one

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Monday, 27 June 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

i am sort of dreading school holiday time in dalston. waargh we are gonna get burglarised every day now the kids are not being sent off to their holding pen every day any more. since it started staying lighter later there've been some kids that sit on a wall in a square that i ride through to go home - it's 3 sides v posh townhouses with bars on their windows and art on their walls, and one side a fairly decent-looking council block - usually young teenagers i think. anyway usually they don't do much except sort of leer at you as you pass (one of them rode his bike at me in what might have been meant to be percieved as a threatening manner but that was ages ago and he was about 8) but the other week they threw eggs at me! eggs! eggs - not even rotten ones, just normal egg-type eggs. who throws EGGS any more? i thought that stopped when you stopped getting the beano... anyway they missed har har i am too fast. i couldn't decide if i thought it was quite funny or a faintly worrying minor detail of the bigger picture.

― emsk, Monday, 27 June 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

Sadly, the idiots aren't necessarily limited to teenagers...

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 27 June 2005 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

once when i was walking through glastonbury festival i had a cig in my mouth my last cig! id been saving it till this moment and just as i was putting it in my mouth , this 4 year old kid with a water pistol squirted me in the face and drenched my cig !! so i couldnt smoke it!! He was with his mum and the mum laughed..you see thats the problem the mums think its funny when these lowts they call their offspring do stuff to us and make us feel stupid and humilated that the kids are getting us ..that 4 year old got me he proper got me good , i should have made him go buy me more cigerettes! that would have taught him buti just called him FUCKING KNOBHEAD and he cried ! i win ! i thought about doing the " B.A. Barackus fake im gonna git you lunge" where people think you are going to get them but dont and they run liek as a reflex action.( B A Barracus does it to murdoch all the time and it seems to do the trick!) but i didnt aw doesnt matter skip it...............

― mr fitzgibbons, Monday, 27 June 2005 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

mr fitzgibbons = w.c. fields, clearly

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:20 (nineteen years ago)

aw i was thinking wooo w.c. fields wow what a compliment..but then i thought hang on a minute!! you dont mean that ! its one of them sarcasm jokes ..like what kids sometimes use on the back of buses!! when they say YOU'RE REALLY FIT MY FRIEND WANTS TO GO WITH YOUUU !! and then they laugh : ( ..and you think ohh the best way to deal with this is to stretch your arms out in front of you and proceed to walk slowy towards them doign a zombie face but then you get the tag of "retard that got beat up by hard streetwise kids on a bus for being a retard" it would probably be better to keep your eyes open and read situations , and if you see knobheads on the back of a bus start rolling up your bus ticket and put it in your mouth and they will think wow he does marajuana cigerettes and he does them so much he cant help but roll his bus ticket up and put it in his mouth as if he is smoking a marajuana cigerette then they will give you a hi-5 ..or sit behind a bigger freak than yourself and start callign them names and telling the whole bus they smell this will also end withthe kids giving you a hi-5 and inviting you round for tea and a game of manhunt on the playstation and a go on uncle brynns bong .

― mr fitzgibbons, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

or just give in , shave your head tuck your pants into your socks buy a pair of rockports and talk in a fake manchester accent .

― mr fitzgibbons, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

i was looking for the story of the incident at the olympia mall and couldnt find it. then i realized it would only infuriate me.

i was reading an interview with someone the other day and they said the problem with america is not that we're a violent culture but that to operate effectively here you have to give off the impression that you're capable of violence, at any moment. when i was in 8th grade, before i sprouted, there was this kid who was just fucking with me, mercilessly, every day, for like weeks. so finally i grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed him into a concrete wall. when i think about what could have happened to that kid - concussion, cracked his skull open, KILLED him - i shudder. as it turned out, after some dizziness, he was fine. and though i may have been a schlub for the rest of my high school career, you can bet no one fucked with me again.

sometimes, i honestly wonder how i haven't been killed yet. i know people probably fuck with me less because i'm 6'7" and weigh over 200 lbs and am a guy, but i am no ones definiton of a manly man, so i have to assume it's pure luck. fer instance, the other day i came home from work and came in the building the back way. when i got into my apartment, i saw that these three or four (young) teenage boys were sitting on my patio outside my sliding glass door. at first i thought, okay, fair game, it's hot out and maybe they were waiting for someone or needed to rest. but then after like 10-20 mins of "fuck this" and "bitch that" i was just like fuck it, i've worked all day and i'm tired. so i opened up the screen and asked them if they needed anything. "naw man, we just sittin." well, could you maybe go sit on the bench instead of on my patio, i'm tryin to rest. "oh, is this your patio? sorry man, sorry." and i felt bad about it! what a brute! then of course i realized these kids could have been super ugly about it. (keep in mind it was only three blocks from my house where i saw those kids beating up the handicapped kid.) i guess they were just some nice kids and i know its super hard being a teenager (i'm not that old yet) but goddamn if the evidence hasn't skewed my thinking somewhat.

― strng hlkngtn, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:30 (nineteen years ago)

when they say YOU'RE REALLY FIT MY FRIEND WANTS TO GO WITH YOUUU !! and then they laugh : (

Aww.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 11:36 (nineteen years ago)

We occasionally get kids out the front playing cricket, which doesn't bother me except when the ball hits the cars / windows etcet.

Anyhow, in those situations Dawn will go and see them off, rather than me, as it somehow seems more a 'confrontation front' if I do it. Also, Dawn is way better at it (I'd just end up going off on one and possibly escalating the situation)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

you should turn the hoses on them, Mark.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, and so they go and get their dads with bigger hoses, and suddenly its war.

If Dawn calls them out on it, they're all "we're very sorry" like in front of their mums...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

then of course i realized these kids could have been super ugly about it. (keep in mind it was only three blocks from my house where i saw those kids beating up the handicapped kid.) i guess they were just some nice kids and i know its super hard being a teenager (i'm not that old yet) but goddamn if the evidence hasn't skewed my thinking somewhat.

Yeah most kids are nice kids. And those nice kids can occasionally be noisy, rude, loud, obnoxious, etc. Even the average little hellion will be chastized if someone older says "knock it off." Most people are too scared to go there, so it escalates. Of course, there are bad seeds...like my uncle who terrorized his kindergarten teacher. But, a few bad apples shouldn't spoil yadda yadda

― Candicissima (candicissima), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

"We occasionally get kids out the front playing cricket,"

BIG WOW!

― mr fitzgibbons, Tuesday, 28 June 2005 19:27 (nineteen years ago)

Believe it or not, it happens a lot in places that are not America!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 19:38 (nineteen years ago)

seven months pass...

sorry for the emotional distress our generation has caused you. Kids are cruel (not an excuse), and the Spanish would take it as an offence on their families... see my friends and I, we do that to each other not because we hate ot loath each other but because I personally beleve as the Japanase: the Jap's believe (or did at one point) that to compliment and boost egos would set others up in preperation for demons to attack their souls. so they would instead ridicule and name call to even their own family members, to save their souls... to Me, not being a Jap., at first it thru me off but as time goes on.. you realize that the ridicule is making you stronger and less dependant.. the more you can pick your self up from a situation the stonger your own soul is, even if you dont get taken by demons... to this day my father calls my anything from "tuna sandwich" to "trash bag"... and I can take anything anyone gives me.. you gotta "pick your self up and try again, dust yourself off and try again"..

― Gov. Jerry Brown (Uber Alles), Monday, 6 February 2006 07:52 (nineteen years ago)

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