Above, the spectral glaciers shone, and from his lips escaped a groan, "EXCELSIOR"!

TWICE!

TWICE!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2005 7:36 PM. (aja) (later) (link)

Twice (once was quoted)

Quit that!

-- Momus (nic...), July 22nd, 2005.

dont you dare, momus, my shetland ponies live there!!

-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...), July 22nd, 2005.

Not sexy, please try again.

Well, I've cooled down now, my scent's more appealing, and my shirt's off.

-- Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (eastern_mantr...), July 23rd, 2005 5:17 PM. (later)

Yeah baby, take it OFF.

-- luna (lunace...), July 23rd, 2005 5:18 PM. (later)

. . .

Sorry about that -- I'm back from washing dishes. What should I remove next, luna?

-- Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (eastern_mantr...), July 23rd, 2005 5:57 PM. (later)

Take out your false teeth Ian!

-- Truckdrivin' Buddha (crump...), July 23rd, 2005 6:02 PM. (later)

[snip]

Magnum
It's Mangum, but I agree.

-- PB (...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2005 9:38 AM. (later) (link)

"When you were young, you were the king of carrot flowers..."
ihttp://www.magnum-pi.de/gallery/images/Tom_JungleBird.jpg
-- joseph cotten (...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2005 9:42 AM. (later) (link)

-- Sterling Clover (s.clove...), July 23rd, 2005. (s_clover) (later)

You are not just on crack, you are made of crack.

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), July 8th, 2005.

so, erm, is the "demand" still "growing"?

-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 24th, 2005 7:57 PM. (ken c) (later)

Yes, tomorrow they're going to give us What's New Pussycat?

-- Alba (albab...), July 24th, 2005 8:02 PM. (Alba) (later)

Please tell me her surname begins with M too.
`

-- Forest Pines (forestpine...), July 23rd, 2005.

McDoppelganger

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), July 23rd, 2005.

Mary Molly Malone?

-- Amateur(ist) (amateuris...), July 23rd, 2005.

Mary Margaret Molly Malone?

-- Amateur(ist) (amateuris...), July 23rd, 2005.

-- CHELSEA'S CRAZY YALL (whowillshedemandbebannednext...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 11:21 PM. (papa la bas) (later)

WTF, there was a Gabba the Hut?
Was he a freaky raver with a glowstick and whistle?

-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 11:30 PM. (Forksclovetofu) (later)

he was the fastest and hardest hutt

-- latebloomer: You may order a puppet similar to this one (posercore24...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 11:37 PM. (latebloomer) (later)

(And before anyone says "well dont read it then" - KEEP IT OFF THREADS LIKE THIS YA WUZZKNOCKERS)

But thats cool, if you're having fun, play on!

-- shine headlights on me (electricsoun...), July 25th, 2005 1:10 PM. (electricsound) (later)

Mmm corned beef. With white sauce. and carrots and onions.

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), July 25th, 2005 1:11 PM. (trayce) (later)

corny indie beefx0r

-- haitch (big.jesus.trash.ca...), July 25th, 2005 1:12 PM. (haitch) (later)

The joke as posted on the page is not about you, and it is funny. I have been gone for about a year and started posting again recently, but that does not make the joke any less funny.

-- Tim Finney (tfinne...), July 25th, 2005. (later)

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That your next album will be called Tim 2.
-- donut ferry (do...), July 25th, 2005. (later)

-- Trayce, July 25th, 2005 3:30 PM.

-- Josh in Chicago (Vitesse9...), July 25th, 2005 3:36 PM. (later)

Answers
why not just play coldplay to his head?
-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 25th, 2005 3:40 PM. (later)

-- Leon C. (nicole.kessle...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005. (link)

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I dunno. Recently I've been thinking "This place is a snotty argumentative hellhole. We really should see about getting more Libertarians in."

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005. (link)

That the solution to world terrorism is for everybody to snoop in each others' luggage during 10 minute subway rides.

-- TOMBOT (im.a.fuckin...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 2:25 PM. (later) (link)

Since Shakey was OTM again, I thought I'd share this personal anecdote (that can later be laughed at on multiple boards)...

I used to spend a lot of time at this Jazz coffeehouse in Jax FL circa 1993, and I befriended all the rock dudes who were in the Jazz program at UNF.

Eventually, we'd vaguely talk about forming a band over pre-bedtime breakfasts. They all wanted to do what they called "heavy groove". I had no idea what specifically that was, but they cited Rage Agianst..., of course. They all knew I had a little rap career a few years prior - after a while they'd look to me and say "you know, it'd be cool if you rap on it." I'd laugh it off and say "no one wants to hear rapping on Rock music...oh, wait, Rage. Nevermind."

I always thought they were being half assed and somewhat joking. I never flat out said no, but it was pretty clear I wan't into the idea.

Eventually, the coffehouse closed down and I went my way, never taking the idea of their band serious. I bumped into one of the guys about a year later and he said "hey, we actually decided to have someone rap over our band since you weren't so into it. He's a tattoo guy named Fred."

Ladies and gentlemen, Limp Bizkit.

-- PappaWheelie (pappawheeli...), July 25th, 2005.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 30th, 2005.

Sing the theme to Moonraker. Go on, have a go. You can't, can you? No one can.

-- Michael Jones (tourajsig...), August 30th, 2005. (MichaelJ) (later)

Moonraker, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moonraker and me.

-- n/a (nu...), August 30th, 2005. (Nick A.) (later)

Hey Dan apparently i'm not 'deej' i'm 'dolt,' so can you PLEASE underline for me where this GIGANTIC LOGICAL FALLACY is?

that people were applauding because Rufus had decided to go back to his wife, not just because, it was an awards show and it was the END
OF THE SONG, like ethan suggested.

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), August 29th, 2005. (Matt Helgeson) (later) (admin) (userip)

you guys, can't we settle this christian-like

-- maura (maur...), August 29th, 2005. (maura) (later) (admin) (userip)

Where will we find lions at this time of night, Maura?

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 29th, 2005. (Dan Perry) (later) (admin) (userip)

But I don't think we would actually do that.

-- Yes, I have heard of pizza (adamr...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

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For one thing, it would make high school very difficult for the child.

-- Yes, I have heard of pizza (adamr...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

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Hyam Baby? Sounds like a good name!

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

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Hymie Baby?

A good Jewish name

-- Yes, I have heard of pizza (adamr...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), August 31st, 2005 2:16 AM. (later)

this made meall a giggley. i can't explain why, perhaps i'm concussed!

but seriously congratulations on your fancy new job. heard about that the other day.

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 31st, 2005.

haha

-- strng hlkngtn (wt...), August 31st, 2005.

i'm working on a big "HSTENCIL IS A COCK" cover story, don't worry

-- strng hlkngtn (wt...), August 31st, 2005.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 30th, 2005.
So has Michael Jackson. He won.

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), August 30th, 2005.
Yes but he didn't sexually abuse any children

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 30th, 2005.
TRUE

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), August 30th, 2005.

Big Guitar:
What the hell? How could that possibly still be upright and in one piece?

-- M. V. (m...), August 31st, 2005.

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Rock never dies, man.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 31st, 2005.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 30th, 2005 3:14 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

Answers

http://www.ziplink.net/~sven77/CartmanHitler.gif

-- Dom Passantino (juror...), August 31st, 2005.

that does not sound very homophobic, to me.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 31st, 2005. (later)

After my protest e-mails they have relented and are now overcharging me by only £12 this month.

Take that The Mang!

-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...) (webmail), August 31st, 2005. (link)

The link is working now.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "LET ME TALK!!!!!!"

sorry if i don't find one of the best cities in america underwater, some of the poorer parts of america devestated, and god knows how many people dead 'hilarious' or 'justified' because some of their elected officials are republican. i'm an asshole that way.

HELLO YOU DUMBSHIT WHERE DO YOU THINK MY FAMILY'S FROM??!??!? WHERE DO YOU THINK MY GRANDFATHER'S BURIED??!?!?

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 30th, 2005.

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i am sorry to everyone else on this thread but blount's complete idiocy has got me incredibly fucking mad and i'm not gonna sit back and take it. i'll stop in a minute but for now FUCK YOU BLOUNT YOU STUPID WINDBAG.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 30th, 2005.

I was at school with a boy who said he'd auto fellated himself by accident after tripping over in the kitchen and falling against the fridge whilst naked.
-- Raston Warrior Robot (fathand...), August 31st, 2005.

-- n/a (nu...), August 31st, 2005 9:21 AM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

Levar Washington

DAMMIT

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 31st, 2005 1:54 PM. (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Three Faces of Bob
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 30th, 2005 11:05 AM.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

what the hell is yur problem
the three faces of bob my ass u mother fukin bitch go to hell and never come back asshole
-- bob b. (dav...), August 30th, 2005 12:14 PM.

LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE!

YOU ARE TEH WIND BENEATH MY WIGNS

Posh bird:
You are *such* a crashing bore Mimi, but I do love you.

-- Anna (Fieldingann...), September 1st, 2005.

Oh god, if you count The Princess Bride you're counting like tons and tons of vaguely-meta fiction -- e.g. practically everything Paul
Lafarge writes. (I think his newest is even bilingual, with the "original French" included.) Not to mention loads of the late 19th century
("this account is presented as it was penned by Admiral Snorgheath, whose log was discovered among the wreckage of the ill-fated H.M.S.
Dorkupine").

-- nabisco (--...), September 1st, 2005. (nabisco) (later)

Fold people, fold.

-- Toilet Painter (Flushing@ meadows.com) (webmail), September 1st, 2005. (link)

-- Toilet Painter (Flushing@ meadows.com) (webmail), September 1st, 2005. (link)

Least compelling poker spambot ever.

Your neighbors. I wonder what they think of you. If you live in an apartment building, try this little experiment. Today when you go home (or if you are already home, because perhaps you are unemployable or something), turn off all the appliances and lights in your apartment. If you have a pet, send the pet to a friend's house or set them free or whatever. If you have roommates, be sure to do this when they are not around. What I am getting at is that you need to make sure the place is totally silent and still. Then, just sit and listen. Here's what you'll discover (provided you do this long enough). You can hear a LOT of what your neighbors are doing. You can hear a lot of their conversations. You can often tell what TV shows and movies they are watching, or at least what kind of TV shows and movies they are watching (for example, a lot of gunshots and screeching tires indicates they watch ACTION). You can hear what music or radio stations they like, or if they are from another country, or a whole host of other information. Pretty interesting, right? Well, guess what? It just got a whole lot more interesting because consider THIS: one of your neighbors has probably already been doing this exact same thing to you for a long time. (and if you don't hear anything, obviously, your neighbors are already listening to you in silence).
So your neighbor knows that you listen to Billy Joel, or "These Dreams" by Heart, or whatever your musical shame is. And your neighbor knows you watch porn or don't, or have sex a lot or never, or have a lot of fights with your significant other (and probably heard that crack about "If that's the way you feel, why don't you just have a million of his babies!"), or that you like to act out scenes from "Full House", or whatever other thing it is that you desperately don't want other people to know. Well, but it's only one or two people that know, right? You're naivete is infectious, my friend, but deadly (maybe). How many people keep information to themselves these days? It seems to me entirely possible your neighbor has started a website devoted to ridiculing you and exposing your secrets to the world, including the government part of the world. But how to find out? You could google yourself, but I doubt your neighbor is that stupid. Here's what I would suggest. Figure out what your neighbors' (all of the adjacent ones) full names are. For god's sake, don't ask them. Stake out the mailboxes, or pose as a repairman, or something like that (you need to do some of the brain work yourself--be adaptable). Once you have figured out this information, hire a private detective to break into their house and smash their computer into small pieces. On second thought, you probably don't need a private detective to do that--you could do it yourself.

-- Scott CE (sceldre...), May 27th, 2004.

"We the Logged-In, in Order to form a more perfect Board, establish pwnage, insure domestic rofflez, provide for the common mods, promote the general OTM, and secure the Blessings of r0XxoR to ourselves and our Posterity, do condemn as hopelessly rockist this Constitution for ILX."
-- robster (friedslic...), September 2nd, 2005.

Dimmu Boregirls - Good Record that is not Pansy Poseur waste of time
-- Mr. Vas Djifrens (THEWARLOCK8...), November 18th, 2004.

-- Ball Out (bal...), September 2nd, 2005 9:35 AM. (LeCoq) (later)

I keep forgetting to do these argh.

-- teeny (teen...), September 2nd, 2005 1:55 PM. (teeny) (later)

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the "people to shoot" list is getting a little crowded...
-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...), September 1st, 2005 7:23 PM. (Shakey Mo Collier) (later) (link)

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If only there was some sort of roving group of armed people who were willing to shoot everyone...
-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...), September 1st, 2005 7:33 PM. (Pleasant Plains ///) (later) (link)

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Never Forget 9/14
-- Stormy Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr_...), September 2nd, 2005 12:43 PM. (dr g) (later)