While My Hastings Gently Weeps vs. Hastings Is A Warm Gun, part 2: The Salad Days of Terror

BTW, I found my old scrapbook (hiding in plain sight, quelle surprise), including several copies of the Raider's Digest. Somehow I managed to keep the one that has a picture of John in lederhosen. Priceless. Also another one with Dan and John playing an "intense" game of chess.

Sigh. That's what happens when you lose track of people. You miss all the best gossip... Jeez, what else don't I know?

I did not know about the DNC debacle or the Olaf connection. Soon we will be able to piece together enough information to uncover the true identity of Kaiser Sose.

Magic cards... LOL, my "book club's" (I use quotes because we never read books anymore, just get together and try not to get into too much trouble) name is Magic Widows. A bunch of the husbands still get together on Thursday nights to play that game (A. did it for a while, but got distracted by the climbing wall at Carleton first, then the marathon/running thing... and the craziest part about the marathon thing is that D34n talked him into doing the first one. Sometimes I think my entire life is a giant geometrical figure of weird connections...). Anyway, if I say I have to go to Widows, now you know what I'm talking about. And the cards can be insanely expensive... can't imagine spending that on them after being burgled, though. Crazy.

Um, I don't think I'm missing any kind of deeper explanation of the picture.... (FB? Dan? Am I?!)

Ned, if only you had been there, I'm sure all of our entire lives would have turned out differently.

You have not, I think, identified the person standing in the back. I am therefore to assume she is a spectre.

F4 was FB's ex.

OH WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE WHEN WE HAVE RED HAIR

In the 'you didn't ask but anyway' category: I have just realized, Sara, that you look an awful lot like an old ex of mine, who was (and is) very cool and very cute. Hurrah for coincedental goodness!

Oh wait, you mean FB! Well, then, yes, you can totally blame him.

It was only after I let my hair grow back to its natural boring color (which my friend L0u calls "strawberry brown") that I realized that everyone at college thought the red was real.

Come to think of it, having my hair that color did seem to coincide with an awful lot of craziness. Hmmmmm.

You do know Dan... jeez. (Of course I have no idea about the shirt... and I am pretty sure the Cure concert I went to with Dan was in 1992. This picture was 1991, so before the wish album was out.)

I'm going to go take a nap but will have to check back in with you all later...

Hey LAY-DIES!

I believe Dan is wearing a Mr. Bungle t-shirt.

http://static.flickr.com/62/168965529_81dc4e52d3.jpg

I want to see Noizeboardtriumverat.jpg now. JW, make it so.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/57146665@N00/

http://static.flickr.com/73/168965527_1240cae039.jpg

http://static.flickr.com/53/168964880_2bb2d8bfc6.jpg?v=0

Dan, i believe I'm wearing your bungle t-shirt in the photo above. Or was that John's? I eventually gave it back to the owner. I was so irate when my ride to the concert backed out at the last minute.

I fear FB's scanner. I have a pile of photos but you'll have to see me to see them (sorry, no scanner, no clue how to operate a scanner, no money for scanner...).

Must go to kid's birthday party now... fear what I will see when I get home...

(PS Wow, FB is terrifying on Halloween sometimes!)

Jealous now...

http://static.flickr.com/54/187412787_f45d42dadc.jpg

What, not the high school fight song? (Didn't it go "V-I-C-T-O-R-R-Y?" at one point? Surely that says all you need to know about that school.)

The other night I was walking on the treadmill, watching Buffy and someone on the show said something like, "we all know Sunnydale High isn't like other schools. Bad things happen here..." I thought of this thread and laughed (said laughter was tinged with nostalgic hysteria, of course).

No, I think we need an anthem. The fight song is a good place to start. Here's what I remember:

Hastings High School, you are the tops
Blue/gold, your colors, sport our mascot
O'er the line and through the net
You'll always be our very best bet

Anybody remember the rest of it?

...Hastings High School you're shooting high
V-I-C-T-O-R-R-Y
Loyal, steadfast, true to you
Our cheer is for Hastings High.

(sigh)

The music was the same as the ND fight song (popular choice), so being at football games there was always a strange haze. The only lyric I remember from the ND fight song was "shake down the thunder from the sky."

Anthems I can't help you with. Especially ones that have yet to be written. I'm better at remembering random stuff - words to songs in particular - exactly. Useless skills...

Portugal National Anthem

Heroes of the sea, noble race,
Valiant and immortal nation,
Now is the hour to raise up on high once more
Portugal's splendour.
From out of the mists of memory,
Oh Homeland, we hear the voices
Of your great forefathers
That shall lead you on to victory!

CHORUS

To arms, to arms
On land and sea!
To arms, to arms
To fight for our Homeland!
To march against the enemy guns!

Unfurl the unconquerable flag
In the bright light of your sky!
Cry out to all Europe and the whole world
That Portugal has not perished.
Your happy land is kissed
By the Ocean that murmurs with love.
And your conquering arm
Has given new worlds to the world!

CHORUS

Salute the Sun that rises
On a smiling future:
Let the echo of an insult be
The signal for our revival.
The rays of that powerful dawn
Are like a mother's kisses
That protect us and support us
Against the insults of fate.

CHORUS

There was an old biddy from Hastings
Who stockpiled guns, powder and casings
her gentleman caller
gave out a big holler
When caught out he got a lead basting

Or maybe not.

...as in just up the road from me at South Coast Plaza?

Ned, beautiful pictures. I love the Pacific Northwest.

It's a great place to go, for sure. :-)

The anthem should be that victory song from SpongeBob.

Sweet sweet sweet victory

ALSO: GIMME HASTINGS LIMERICKS NOW PEOPLE

...as in just up the road from me at South Coast Plaza?

Ned, you irredeemable bastard. Eat some scotchmallows for me.

Then I was really confused about why Spongebob was covering an Abba song. (Oh, just misread the first line and jumped to confusing conclusion).

Limericks!!! Adorable.

Combined with incest and masturbation.

OK. OK.

Yay, I just got my financial aid stuff from St. Kate's, which on the surface looks very helpful. Also got tickets for A. and I to join my cousin to see the Raconteurs at First Ave. Insane impulses begin to pay off (or not; this could be the beginning of a death spiral for all I know). Still, much cheerier than yesterday.

I'm pretty sure than any limerick I write about any one of you is going to end up obscene.

I came up with these on the bus.

Just nasty:

There once was a housewife named Sara
Who’s postman found her weeding terra
He said stay on your knees
She said do as you please
Just don’t let it run through my mascara

Almost without merit:

There was a good son named John Justen
Who’s father’s boots he was a dustin’
On his crown fell a slap
He looked up with a snap
On his chin siblings were a bustin’

Somewhat clever, actually:

There was a role-player named Dan
Who would dress up like a milk-man
Ol’ ball-and-chain Perry
Liked it in the derry
His mother took it in the can

Good luck with “Jeff Peterson”, hosers.

Dan, Sara and John all wrote poems
And sent them to friend from their homes
They collected so many
And sold each for a penny
To Jeff, who bound them in tomes.

(and has the virtue of sticking a bit closer to reality, AHEM)

Not to mention that my mail carrier is a woman.

Jeff's limericks were all so obscene
No one could discern what they mean
They poisoned the thread
And hurt my poor head
And the brain bleach cannot get me clean.

(That last one is entirely Austin's extemporaneous creation, btw).

Also composed with Austin while cooking dinner - mostly Austin, really, he's good at this)

There once was a young man from Hastings
Who hosed illicit drug tastings
His plans went all wrong
On a trip to Hong Kong
When his sideburns detached from their pastings.

(I guess whoever that is will remain nameless).

In a town with an old spiral bridge
Whose children kept beer in the fridge
John Justen drank ten
Which impressed all the men
But caused him to fall off the ridge.

Hastings old spiral bridge clearly demonstrates
As Dan Perry frequently remonstrates
The morals of town
Could go up or go down
But John Justen's booze he defenestrates.

There once was a girl who loved Fritos
She ate them while drinking mojitos
The salt and the booze
Quickly caused her to lose
The ends of her feet, but for 3 toes.

(My feet are fine, but I do love mojitos. And Fritos.)

Well, I *am* one, so I approve even more of your excellent approach!

That's right... I used to walk through the halls where they taught English, hoping for a date.... this explains every date I ever had. (Okay, that's pretty much all lies, but I do have an appreciation for people who are well-read. Evil First Boyfriend was proud to be practically illiterate... ugh. So English majors = awesome.)

Actually, one time I took an English class that was also a women's studies class. It was almost all women. On the first day of class, there was one guy who realized he was in the wrong room - and in a women's studies class - and he almost ran out of the room to escape.

Not you, Jeff. You go finish the foyer.

Moved to: Hastings, The Young Man Who Was From There, And What Happened To His Pastings, Part 3: The Spiral Bridge Defenestrations

http://citypages.com/databank/27/1336/article14526.asp

Hastings IS a warm gun (at school) - yikes!

http://www.startribune.com/local/east/89924847.html?elr=KArks:DCiUHc3E7_V_nDaycUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aULPQL7PQLanchO7DiUr

I brought that up on the rolling used-to-be-mollification-but-is-now-random-burbling thread. The dude who did something similar when we were in high school was just trying to sell an old shotgun to someone; this makes him seem positively quaint in comparison.

(still not quite as hardcore as the bad seed 12-year-old whose mother dressed her like a creepy porcelain doll who tried to burn down the middle school back in '91, tho)

jesus h

I will be in Shakopee again next week for Twin Cities folks who'd like to meet up