I like to chew up a roffle and spread the resulting EXCELSIOR between two intact roffles

-- Aimless (aimles...), September 2nd, 2006.

Hi Mom!

-- jim wentworth (wenchv...), September 2nd, 2006.

the guy i met this weekend whose hat i stole and name i can't pronounce.
-- emsk (vomit.quif...), September 4th, 2006 12:14 PM. ( emsk) (link)

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jamiroquai?
-- Konal Doddz (stevem7...), September 4th, 2006 12:21 PM. (blueski) (link)

-- gem (gemilyinterrupte...), September 4th, 2006 8:56 PM. (trisk) (later)

was one of the variations "CROAKY"?

-- estela (estelaisale...), September 4th, 2006 8:58 PM. (estela) (later)

-- Dom Passantino (juror...), September 4th, 2006.

Or he could sneak into the music office at the Guardian and substitute next week's boring Petridish review with selected choice extracts from Burton's Anatomy Of Melancholy spiced up with cutouts of Roy Keane aiming an owl at Patsy Kensit.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), September 4th, 2006.

-- ath (jodec...) (webmail), September 4th, 2006 12:43 AM. (ath)

So THAT's what all those threads are about!

-- StanM (Stan10...), September 4th, 2006. (later)

Cleese's Bread and Dripping shops, mostly. Staffed by adorable little cockernee urchins wearing bowler hats. Lumme, mister.

-- Michael Jones (tourajsig...), September 4th, 2006 3:00 PM.

-- jed_ (colin_o_har...), September 4th, 2006. (jed) (later)
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it is a quotation, from dog latin.

-- a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (miltonpinsk...), September 4th, 2006. (Enrique) (later)
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or louis jagger, whatever.

-- a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (miltonpinsk...), September 4th, 2006. (Enrique) (later)

-- Domenico Buttez (estebanbutte...), Today. (later)

-- Tim Whelden (twhelde...), Yesterday 12:27 AM. (twhelden) (later) (link)

yeah, so has every thirteen year old boy

-- a name means a lot just by itself (lfamula...), Yesterday 7:26 PM. (lfam) (later) (link)

-- estela (estelaisale...), Today 11:42 PM. (estela) (later) (link)

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stop drinking
-- electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsoun...), September 4th, 2006.

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You sound like my wife.
-- I Supersize Disaster (noodle_vagu...), September 4th, 2006.

IT'S STILL TRUE THO

-- Pashmina (vietgrov...), September 5th, 2006 3:08 PM. (Pashmina) (later)

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b132/mel_face/scaryer.jpg

The better to wash away the beach scum that is you.

The better to wash away the beach scum that is you.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 5th, 2006.

I found this one particularly amusing.

-- mark p (mark.p****...), December 30th, 2003 12:47 PM. (Mark P)

-- Nathalie (stevi...), September 5th, 2006 10:04 AM. (later)

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It's not, it's two mirrors.
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), September 5th, 2006 10:07 AM. (later)

-- TOMBOT (tombo...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006. (link)

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FRESH

-- Stephen X (figmentfragmen...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006. (link)

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I realize that you can replace "fresca" with just about anything you like and that sentence remains fact

-- TOMBOT (tombo...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006. (link)

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), September 5th, 2006. (djmartian)

I'll certainly be consoling myself with that fact in the long cold months ahead.

-- Matt DC (runmd...), September 5th, 2006. (Matt DC)

-- Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (eastern_mantr...) (webmail), May 23rd, 2005. (link)

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Empty condoms I trust.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...) (webmail), May 23rd, 2005. (link)

SP, you are really gross and unpleasant.

-- Danny Aioli (crump...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006 5:57 PM. (Rock Hardy) (later)

And comparing someone to Dave Sim is pleasant discourse?

-- Squirrel_Police (goblinatri...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006 6:01 PM. (Squirrel_Police) (later)

I make no claims about myself pro or con, I'm just saying I think you're really gross and unpleasant.

-- Danny Aioli (crump...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006 6:06 PM. (Rock Hardy) (later)

Good lord! Not happening! We've lost the Aioli camp,
what's next???

-- Squirrel_Police (goblinatri...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006 6:08 PM. (Squirrel_Police) (later)

camp estela

-- estela (estelaisale...) (webmail), September 5th, 2006 6:10 PM. (estela) (later)

-- chaki (chaki.tim...), September 6th, 2006.

I microwaved a hotdog yesterday.

-- genital hyphys (carlos....), September 6th, 2006.

The Ketubah - the Jewish marriage document. Lots of Hebrew on it an' stuff.

Crazy, never heard of it before (but then again I am as goy as it gets). The older gentlemen looks deeply concerned that something might go wrong.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 6th, 2006 2:44 PM. (Ned) (later)

The older gentleman is my father, who also served as Rabbi. "Deeply concerned that something might go wrong" is a good general description of him.

-- A-ron Hubbard (Hurtingchie...), September 6th, 2006 2:47 PM. (Hurting) (later)

if you make a mistake everyone has to get divorced.

-- s1ocki (slytus...), September 6th, 2006 2:48 PM. (slutsky) (later)

it's not wilful naivete, i have no idea who david fucking byrne is (and certainly don't know who to believe on this thread) and i resent the assumption that i should.

-- The Lex (alex.macpherso...) (webmail), Today 9:10 AM. (later) (link)

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I RESENT MUSIC
My friend just said something about "mental machine music"; who the fuck does he think he is? (8 new answers)
Don't fucking tell me what music you think I would like, Amazon.com (1 new answer, 160 total)
I wish everybody would stop talking about that crotchety old rapper Kneel Yung (93 new answers, 524 total)

-- bernard snow (andrew.bryso...) (webmail), Today 9:35 AM. (later) (link)

sounds old.

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), September 6th, 2006.

-- TOMBOT (tombo...), September 7th, 2006. (later)

BROKEN WINDOWS DOESN'T ACTUALLY WORKS
THANKS RUDY

-- jhoshea (totalwizar...), September 7th, 2006. (later)

MEMO TO CUTE WHITE WOMEN IN BARS: STOP DYING

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), September 7th, 2006. (later)

the extended breaks in Oasis' "Live Forever" and "Champagne Supernova" express the songs' themes far more eloquently than the lyrics.
-- summerslastsound (gzg...), May 5th, 2003 5:34 PM. (summerslastsound)

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The bar code on the back of the Oasis album expresses the songs' themes more eloquently than the lyrics.
-- Nick A. (emmaa...), May 5th, 2003 5:39 PM. (Nick A.)

Actually I don't know what [Chuck Eddy] thinks of FOB.
-- Sundar (south.side.of.the.spamblockin'.sky.200...), September 7th, 2006. (sundar) (link)

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they remind him of black oak arkansas, donna summer, and die kruezen
-- M@tt He1geson: Real Name, No Gimmicks (matt@game[remove]informer.com), September 7th, 2006. (Matt Helgeson) (link)

"I want to see you cast a level 7 difficulty stagedive. PRONTO."

-- dar1a g (daria.il...), November 9th, 2006. (later)

^^^^ should be in the FAQ

-- gbx (polarbea...), November 9th, 2006. (later)

-- David R. (quoteidio...), November 9th, 2006 12:52 PM. (later)

Whoopi Goldberg (who herself is a refreshing dash of water and vingar)

-- The Android Cat (djperr...), November 9th, 2006 12:53 PM. (later)

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), November 9th, 2006. (link)

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), November 9th, 2006. (link)

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Maybe in divorce court, she will have to "su da fed"!

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), November 9th, 2006. (link)

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Perhaps she will even make it a "fed"eral case!

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), November 9th, 2006. (link)

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maybe he "fed" her his cock!

-- gear (speed.to.roa...) (webmail), November 9th, 2006. (link)

HUEG LALZ

is this the lex the guest editor?

Observer Music Monthly - The Gay Issue, free with The Observer this Sunday

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), November 10th, 2006.
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lex is gay, i think, so yeah, he probably guest edited. i mean how many gays can there be?

-- benrique (miltonpinsk...), November 10th, 2006.

-- The GZeus (gzeusmant...) (webmail), Thursday 7:03 PM. (The GZeus) (link)

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Was he really eaten??!
-- nate p. ((nospamto)natepatrin(please)@gmail.com), November 10th, 2006 5:04 PM. (natepatrin)

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maybe that's why the couldn't find him to interview for the article?
-- Sterling Clover (s.clove...), November 10th, 2006 5:04 PM. (s_clover)

-- Tom (ebro...) (webmail), January 13th, 2003. (link)

-- Darramouss :D (Darramous...), November 12th, 2006. (Darramouss ftw) (later)

Lauren Laverne; Loved by racists everywhere.

-- pscott (kowalski9...), November 12th, 2006. (elwisty) (later)

I was really hoping Calum had come back and started a thread about the Human League :(

-- Feargal Hixxy (lackofinteres...), November 12th, 2006 8:25 PM. (DJ Mencap) (later)

chelsea strikers don't really come much diddier than drogba.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), November 13th, 2006 1:05 PM. (ken c) (later)

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life would have been marginally better if you hadnt said that
-- -- (68...), November 13th, 2006 1:06 PM. (688) (later)

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i think it would have been just osgood
-- ken c (pykachu10...), November 13th, 2006 1:42 PM. (ken c) (later)

-- Michael Jones (tourajsig...), November 13th, 2006 9:13 AM. (MichaelJ) (later)

i hope there was some slow jazz playing while you did that.

-- 2 american 4 u (n...), November 13th, 2006 9:16 AM. (blueski) (later)

-- bell labs (lindsay...), November 13th, 2006.

"i've read articles where she claims to have "studied composition" - why didn't she arrange her own album then?"

This is the stupid comment yet on this thread.

-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), November 13th, 2006.

erm...

-- polar bear flashback episode (crucial.bonu...) (webmail), October 23rd, 2006 7:57 PM. (nickalicious) (link)

Thanks, I think!

-- Dionne Warrick Dunn football psychic hotline (revers...) (webmail), October 23rd, 2006 11:21 PM. (Matt Chesnut) (link)

-- bo janglin (wt...), November 13th, 2006.

weird life goal

-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 13th, 2006.

it's all i have

-- bo janglin (wt...), November 13th, 2006.

i'm this close to bagging work and drinking a 40 behind the rite aid

-- bo janglin (wt...), November 13th, 2006.

Go home and vomit? It is quite, quite out of date if I recall correctly.

-- It's a hard world for little things... (kat...), November 11th, 2006 1:42 AM. (papa november) (later)

haha. home to OZ. which ill be doing soon.

-- sunny successor (sunnysuccesso...), November 11th, 2006 1:44 AM. (katharine) (later)

Just click your ruby slippers together three times and say...

-- It's a hard world for little things... (kat...), November 11th, 2006 1:44 AM. (papa november) (later)

tim tam tim tam tim tam?

-- sunny successor (sunnysuccesso...), November 11th, 2006 1:48 AM. (katharine) (later)

can we change "I Love Everything"'s name to "I Gripe About Things That Have Done Me No Harm" now?

-- Thomas Tallis (tallis4...), November 14th, 2006. (later)

i sat through that entire film thomas -- IT DID ME HARM

-- mark s (mar...), November 14th, 2006. (later)

First, the figure must be 'known' to every ILxor, yet cannot be a member of our community. This one limitation alone reduces the possible candidates to 100% celebrities - entertainers, sports figures, politicians and their ilk. And only the most visible of these.

Next, we do not actually know any of these people. We know their reputations, their public faces, their public gaffes, their personas. It is all quite artificial and heavily mediated.

Although we may accurately enough know and admire their public accomplishments (or deplore them) our 'liking' for them can never have the slightest bit of depth or meaning. It only means we think they have a nice manner or a pleasant smile or something equally shallow - with pure imagination making up about 95% of the content of that 'liking'.

So, I nominate George W. Bush. He's one heckuva likeable guy, dontcha know? Folksy. Warm. Genuine. Not too stuck up. And not afraid of "hard work" either. I must have heard him praise "hard work" a million times! What's not to like?

-- Aimless (aimles...), November 13th, 2006. (later)

THANKS FOR POINTING THAT ALL OUT

-- gbx (polarbea...), November 13th, 2006. (later)

Sorry, gbx, but getting caught up with celebrities is like having lots and lots of imaginary friends. Although this does make for some fabulous imaginary tea parties!

More tea, Cameron? And do tell me all about this, uh, kabbala, Madonna! Ooops! Did I pronounce that correctly? Ving, you bad boy, you were laughing at me weren't you? Be that way, you lug, I love you anyway!

-- Aimless (aimles...), November 13th, 2006. (later)

Sorry, gbx, but getting caught up with celebrities posting on ILx is like having lots and lots of imaginary friends.

-- gbx (polarbea...), November 13th, 2006. (later)

"All your taste is in your mouth. EXCELSIOR!"

"All your taste is in your mouth. EXCELSIOR!"