Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

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10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Men don't want to see what's ON television, they want to see WHAT ELSE is on!)

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that."

and what (ooo), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:36 (eighteen years ago)

you should do a puppet show about that

Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

you are the receptionist where i work, aren't you? this will be in my inbox in what, 15 seconds? 20?

get back to work pat.

chicago kevin (chicago kevin), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:40 (eighteen years ago)

Fig leaves have seats>

Steve Guttenberg's Midnight Runner (pullapartgirl), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:43 (eighteen years ago)

OMG, and what, I stand in awe.

Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:28 (eighteen years ago)

I got tired so I sat down.

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:30 (eighteen years ago)

thank you aimless

you may also enjoy my other threads

If Jesus Preached Now

Facts about Clinton!

and

On Fire!

and what (ooo), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:31 (eighteen years ago)

Plus, Aimless, I have to tell you, you've got awe all over your shoes. If you're not careful, it'll get on the hem of your pants.

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:31 (eighteen years ago)

Don't forget this one:

How many times has someone said to you...."You don't know Jack Schitt." This phrase is commonly used by Americans in case of a heated argument to let the other guy know that he knows nothing.

Now, you will know the entire story....

Jack Schitt is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran the Kneedeep Inn-Schitt. Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt, and together they produced six children. Holy Schitt, their first child, passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt and then two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt. Their final child, another son, named Bull Schitt. In the meantime, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens Brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Bird Schitt and Horace Schitt. Bull Schitt just married a spicy number, Pisa Schitt and they are expecting the arrival of Baby Schitt.

So, now you know Jack Schitt and his family, in case someone asks.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

Hopefully that's not the same awe that Aimless and M.White were going on about.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:35 (eighteen years ago)

who would name their child 'chicken'

and what (ooo), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:35 (eighteen years ago)

xpost
Aw, M. White, I have to stand here in awe. I'm not allowed to leave until I am told it's OK.

Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:35 (eighteen years ago)

who would name their child 'chicken'

Dip and Lotta Schitt. Can't you read?

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:37 (eighteen years ago)

What if I tell you it's sake and it's over here ready to be drunk?

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:38 (eighteen years ago)

Okie-dokie.

Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:47 (eighteen years ago)

Kanpai!!

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:54 (eighteen years ago)


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