Invent A Conspiracy Theory

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Inspired by my "The Falkland Islanders Faked the Argentine Invasion" comment in the thread below, I challenge you to invent an outlandish conspiracy theory.

The winner is the person who comes up with one which enters popular discourse and turns out to be true.

― DV, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

boo! no one is playing my game.

― DV, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Diana, in conjunction with the ailing flroal industry faked her own death. It was part of an agreement with Charles that would make it so he could never get the throne - WIlliam will be king, Charles will either die first or abdicate in his favour - and that way Diana and Dody could move off to northern Africa and nevah have to worry about that evil bitch Camilla becoming queen.

― Queen G, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also Dody was in fact DODDY, and the entire project was undertaken by the DIDDYMEN.

― mark s, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

P. Diddy controls the UK monarchy!

― Dan Perry, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the p stands for princephilip

― mark s, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Chickenbears are the secret rulers of the world.

― jel --, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd be more amused if Mr. Diddy turned out to be the Queen.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

mark s is a 12 foot lizard creature, who in conjunction with his evil sidekick Duane's disillusioned cat plans to capture Honiton much to the dismay of Robo-Pinefox. Why else would he so resolutely deny their existance? hmm?

HMMM?

― Graham, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Its all about the Wombats

― anthony, Friday, 5 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

an evil plot is being orchestrated to get 'japanese monster wrestling' mentioned on every thread on ILE.

mwahahhahahaha!

― geeta, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Some of you guys spiked my drinks last nights so I could feel what its like to have a hangover. I rarely have'em.Actually this is my second (bad) one. And I WANT IT TO STOOOOOOOP so I can go out tonight (and drink more).

― nathalie, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

an evil plot is also being hatched to make ILX the first choice for Googlers of "Reign in Blood"...oh it's true.

― jel --, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(we are currently 10th choice)

― jel --, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

stop conspiring

mind you, i supsected somethi9ng when i went into big w today and they did not have the babs greatest hits 2 cd thing, even though it was in the top 10 - and i asked, and they said it's not there, and i said i know and they said do you...

and somehting is happening, but I don't know what it is.

― Queen G, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I win

― Graham, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't have a conspiracy theory, but I do have a good fake urban legend: Disney France/Disney Japan hires American drag queens to wear the character costumes because the French/the Japanese are too uptight to be convincing.

― Michael Daddino, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The silver stuff on scratchcards is highly carcinogenic, particularly easily absorbed into the body through the soft tissue under the fingernails. The National Lottery are aware of this - they did it deliberately under pressure form their shadowy masters - codename THE WINNOWING.

Wheat from chaff boy, wheat from chaff.

― misterjones, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Meanwhile, the silver stuff on euro notes contain individual codes that enable the ECB to track their (and hence YOUR!) precise movements anywhere in the world, don't you know?

― Jeff W, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

I have no memory of starting this thread. Could it be that I am the victim of some kind of mind control cult?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Friday, 9 April 2004 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

possibly. perhaps your mind was invaded by the Cutty Shark virus before posting.

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Saturday, 10 April 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

sound is a range of waveforms, and every human is capable of hearing noises within a certain range that their senses allow them, but sounds of course exist beyond these ranges - dogs react to very high frequencies for example.
light is also a range of waveforms, and as with sound people have their own perceivable range of light, red to violet - some people however are capable of seeing just beyond what most of us can see normally, things or beings made up of infrared or ultraviolet - they call these beings 'ghosts' but really they are the SECRET RULERS OF EARTH! yes thats right, in our midst are race of superlight beings controlling everything that goes on, the true 'illuminated' ones! thats why my cat starts going crazy and follows things around the room that aren't there, or maybe i just cant SEE THEM!
hmmm, now where did i put that opium pipe.....

― zappi (joni), Saturday, 10 April 2004 04:28 (twenty-one years ago)

How come this thread hardly get posted to?

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 10 April 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Jim J Bullock pulls the strings of the global economy.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 10 April 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

zappi's actually pretty close to the truth.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 10 April 2004 06:47 (twenty-one years ago)

are you conspiring with him?

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 10 April 2004 06:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Antartica does not really exist. All pictures or video from it have been made in a studio.

― A Nairn (moretap), Saturday, 10 April 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

How about Antarctica? Does that exist?

― pardon me, you seem to have misspelled something (Oops), Saturday, 10 April 2004 07:00 (twenty-one years ago)

The color we know as 'blue' is actually orogno.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 10 April 2004 07:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Dog urine is a conspiracy by the Illuminati to keep fire hydrant populations under ontrol.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 10 April 2004 07:08 (twenty-one years ago)

mushrooms are neither mush nor rooms! cuz of the jewrun media!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 10 April 2004 07:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I've got a funny feeling this thread is going to turn into Foucault's Pendulum

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 10 April 2004 08:05 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX is a marketing focus group run by multinational manufacturers of personal care products.

― spittle (spittle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

(gone horribly wrong, obviously)

― spittle (spittle), Saturday, 10 April 2004 10:22 (twenty-one years ago)

nine months pass...

Aliens+House Of Rothschild+Masons+Genetically-Altered Coffee Beans That Destroy Brain-Cells=A Starbucks On Every Corner

True Story!

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

I always knew there was a reason I loved that Gingerbread Latte so much.

― Masonic Boom-Boom (kate), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 14:29 (twenty years ago)

JFK was not shot. He spontaniously combusted.

― Soldier Sam, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 14:30 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, are you sure it's the Rothschilds and not the Habsburgs? Whose crest looks more like the Starbucks Logo?

http://www.adler-wien.org/wDeutsch/img/heraldik/familien/habsburg.jpg

vs.

http://members.tripod.com/~goldschmidt/wappen2.jpg

― Masonic Boom-Boom (kate), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

what the hell is that thing at the top of the first picture? a lion with dinosaur scales and peacock feathers?

― scott seward (scott seward), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

James Cameron...Freemason?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

its true!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

WTF?!?!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

Damn, so much for that Rothschild Crest. MAYBE THE ROTHSCHILDS ACTUALLY CONTROL TRIPOD!!!

― Masonic Boom-Boom (kate), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

they do

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

And that means the Habsburgs control Yahoo/Geocities and the Knights Templar are still flying the flag for Google?

― Masonic Boom-Boom (kate), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 16:26 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/04/18/us/pope_395.7.jpg

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 April 2008 17:05 (seventeen years ago)

In 2002 the US Government synthesized a strain of Chronic Wasting disease that is dormant in buffalo until 2011

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:31 (seventeen years ago)

So yall got me, huh............... Maybe not so harshly as to screentype me.
You know spying on z liberal 'z illegal....................................
As a liberterrorist I reform your Spynet. If you persecute me I will be my
owner and lawyer and subject you to the legal nightmare of Net Neutrality
where the service provider is at fault for providing the content,
and the user is an addict, technology like a drug. Also the user had no in
tention of purchase of something that is infinitely rerepresentable. In fact,
I would call it "Fair Use".

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:40 (seventeen years ago)

Without cost. I hear the feds nwo. Should I Throw my HDCP in the furnace?

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:41 (seventeen years ago)

Something something Jews something something.

― Hurting 2, Friday, 18 April 2008 18:43 (seventeen years ago)

Never read a license agreement, in fact. Copyright is an abstruse term that in terms of the hypercorpocratic Reagan-era definition should righteously be overturned in light of cost-free infinite reproduction, as its basic semantics are in conflict with my interpretation of the word, which, prior to knowing, I thought the Subject, myself, was able to copy, costing nothing to anybody, except data-flow, which I was paying for through WB ass niggas, in cahoots with the copyright holders, entrapping me in insane abstruse language that really means nothing concretely, despite the history of the corpocratic conspiracy against me and all other users, of banned plants, including synthesized growths, ruling in favor of those that own the idea "Globalization", which is at work starving entire peoples that our government, the World Bank, et al divided and oppressed. This also covers ownership of water, land, etc, as Property in the constitution meant not privatized land, etc., but, damn, bittorrent dropped my modem again right when i was harboring with intent to fairly use, e.g. reorchestrate as an art object, the data i was objectifying through my ISP, whether that means aural interpretation, which I am the subjective copyright holder to, or 1958 legacy cut-up and review with the ideational property I am so terrifyingly fiending for.

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:01 (seventeen years ago)

"special character" (a loan-translation of Gk. idioma), noun of quality from proprius "one's own, special" (see proper). Propertied "holding property" is from 1760. Hot property "sensation, a success" is from 1958. Unless we're going with definition from the literal dark ages, R U STILL DOWN 4 MAY

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:06 (seventeen years ago)

The dinosaurs disappeared at the same time as a giant volcano eruption - but they didn't ALL go extinct. V-RAPTORS burrowed into a tightly compressed air pocket near the volcano, somehow causing it to erupt violently. These V-RAPTORS survived the mass extinction by making their way below tectonic plates. And they're coming back in 2012.

― Z S, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:48 (seventeen years ago)

simple as 15 minus 2

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:52 (seventeen years ago)

er 2+15 i'm a fool

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:55 (seventeen years ago)

leading to ALLAH BLESS U! in the centuring, killa priest sense

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:57 (seventeen years ago)

Bees only exist in Oregon

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

Who, Who, Who, Who trim the faggotry

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 19:59 (seventeen years ago)

Who villainized the French??

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:00 (seventeen years ago)

Microsoft windows connects to the oven

― mkcaine, Friday, 18 April 2008 20:02 (seventeen years ago)

ten years pass...

buscemi killed his wife

― (ADVANCE) (320k vbr) (--V2) (aps) (diVX) (2CD) OST - SB (2019) (esby), Saturday, 12 January 2019 19:39 (six years ago)

too soon

― Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 12 January 2019 21:00 (six years ago)

six months pass...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D-98vheXkAEnmY-?format=png

― mark s, Saturday, 10 August 2019 21:17 (six years ago)

one year passes...

Damning Hunter Biden documents suddenly vanish pic.twitter.com/B2qsajZlID
— Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) October 29, 2020

We couldn't think up our own conspiracy theory here so we're outsourcing it to you, the general public. We'll adopt the winner in future broadcasts

― anvil, Thursday, 29 October 2020 04:38 (five years ago)

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fthe-brothers%2Fyou-wont-be-around-next-year-d6ec9b2ff33e&psig=AOvVaw2lqZJ_EjrAcjJwxLSDvIrc&ust=1604059551540000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCLCVi-Th2ewCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD

thank god they made copies of everything!

― Welcome to Nonrock (breastcrawl), Thursday, 29 October 2020 12:12 (five years ago)

as extensively covered on the October Surprise thread, I see

― Welcome to Nonrock (breastcrawl), Thursday, 29 October 2020 13:16 (five years ago)

conspiracy theory - i was put here to aggravate myself and i will die alone

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Thursday, 29 October 2020 13:23 (five years ago)

You're making a case for why conspiracies are stupid and insane. Come up with a more believable one next time.

― Evan, Thursday, 29 October 2020 13:34 (five years ago)

two months pass...

The pandemic is a hoax designed to cover up the fact that Cary fukunaga forgot to shoot the new bond film. What’s in the trailer is all the footage they have. They convinced the worlds elites to go along with it in order to buy them some time but it has got out of hand and it’s too difficult to get the crew together and finish it with all the restrictions in place, so they keep pushing back the release every 6 months and the “pandemic” will go on forever

― Yelp for gyros (wins), Friday, 22 January 2021 11:35 (four years ago)

horrifying scenario

― if Spaghetti-Os had whammy bars (Neanderthal), Friday, 22 January 2021 15:19 (four years ago)

three years pass...

Sometimes conspiracy theories just fall in your lap... if you're a conspiracy theorist that is.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/mike-lynchs-co-defendant-dies-203700245.html

― Defund Phil Collins (Tom D.), Tuesday, 20 August 2024 06:15 (one year ago)

brb googling tornado ray

― tuah dé danann (darraghmac), Tuesday, 20 August 2024 07:57 (one year ago)

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