Ask Alex in NYC

So, let's proceed.

Dear Forksclovetofu,....

Well, what can I tell you? I'm not some profanity-laden jukebox that just churns out pithily obnoxious couplets to decry soulless, edgeless, meaningless music. You've got to be INSPIRED, man! Let your disgust with said product guide you like the Force. I know you can do it.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

Oh well.

Andrew

What is your feeling regarding the proliferation of Vitamin Records' "string tribute to" series? (I get several of these sent to me every month.) Have you heard any? Are there any you'd want to hear?

best, Matos-Webster Dictionary

Sincerely,

Queen backing Obi Wan Kenobi? That's a fantastic story, but I can't imagine it. Perhaps he leant some speaking parts to Brian May's botched sci-fi album, Star Fleet or something. I can't say I can verify it, and Google tells me nothing.

Lemme know if you find out.

Cheers,
Alex

String Tributes are a bad idea. I know, I know...But Alex! What about all those Jaz Coleman symphonic tribute albums to the Doors, the `Stones, Led Zep, etc.? Y'know what? THEY SUCK! Just because Jaz Coleman sometimes fronts the greatest band of all time (that being Killing Joke), that doesn't mean that everything he does is brilliant.

I quite liked Apocalyptica (four cellists playing Metallica covers)....for about five minutes. It's a dumb gimmick....and people need to get over it already.

To the String'ers at Vitamin: Stick to the Bach, not the Rock.

Alex in NYC

It's not that the Strokes are (were?) bad, it's just that they weren't that exceptional. I actually quite like Is This it?, but I can't say I found it to be especially ground-breaking. You have to look at it in context, I guess. While they weren't doing anything that original, they happened to plop along right during a lull in the NYC rock scene, and all of a sudden, people started calling them flag-wavers of a new movement. Yawn. Whatever. Some good singles. Boring, boring, boring live. And once they start haning out with Drew Barrymore, Amanda deCadenet and Courtney Love, who really gives a fuck anymore. Second album dead on arrival.

They're our Oasis, at the end of the day.

Alex in NYC

precisely WHY do you dislike biggie, nas, jay-z, and other hip-hop artists like the foregoing?

also, would you have voted against having that gonzalez dude being the next US attorney general?

sincerely,

Could Hell sound any worse?

Do you ever fight with Alex in SF over who is "more Alex," and if so, what is the outcome?

Sincerely,
Mickey

How many Killing Joke concerts have you and your wife seen together? Assuming the answer is one or more, was she as into the show(s) as much as you were? (would that even be possible?)

BB

Well, for a start, I own and actually like a lot of stuff by Nas and Jay-Z (though I used to hate the latter, "99 Problems" and "Big Pimpin'" I could not resist). In terms of the Notorious B.I.G, I just didn't hear anything all that great about his raps. Some of the production was nice, i'll give'im that. I also shudder at the deification that he enjoys (just like Kurt, Sid, etc. etc.) Also, I hate acronymns that don't stand for anything. I'd sooner listen to him than to Tupac, though. Fuck that guy.

Hip Hop wise, I just miss the days when the envelope was pushed a little more. I liked a lot of the Native Tongue stuff (Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, etc.), as they seemed to be taking the genre/medium/artform/whathaveyou in entirely new directions. While the early N.W.A stuff was entertaining, I found the whole Gangsta thing sort've tired after a very short while (though Ice Cube had some great fuckin' tracks, notably "Wicked" and "When Will They Shoot?") Contemporary Hip Hop is just a wasteland to these ears. No one -- from my vantage point -- seems to be doing anything new or original. It's all lowest common denominator crap. But, I don't seek out the underground stuff, so maybe I'm completely wrong.

Peace out, yo!

Alex in NYC

I think I've crossed swords with Alex in SF before, not about who is "more Alex". I'm not entirely sure what that would mean. While I like my first name, I'd never suggest that I singuarly personify all that the name implies (literally a "helper of man"). Maybe he is more Alex than me. Don't know. May never know.

I also have an exceptionally dull last name. Names are for tombstones, baby.

In Nomine Satanus,
Alex in NYC

I am saddened to say that the wife and I have never attended a Killing Joke show together. I've been lucky enough to see them four times (and will be seeing them again at the end of this month), but never with the Mrs.. If truth be told, my wife isn't the tallest of women, so she's not a big fan of crowds. Moreover, she's much more of a hang back at the bar with a drink and a ciggy sort've lady, not a warrior of the trenches. There are precious few bands she's ever expressed interest in actually going to see in concert. She'd go for the `Bunnymen, The The and Duran Duran, but couldn't be arsed to go see the `Joke, alas.

She does like them, though. Among her enviable collection of 7" singles were some true prizes, "Love Like Blood" included.

`Til the Fearless Come and the Act is Done,
Alex in NYC

Have your colleagues ever commented on your sublime crazy-ass rantings on here?

Keep up the good work

Masked Gazza

Yeah, i'd have voted against Gonzalez. Fuck'im.

Alex in NYC

My direct colleagues here at the office are by now more than used to rantings from me, be they online or in person, so they tend to (wisely) tune most of it out. That said, said crazy-ass rantings may have helped me land a quasi-interview with the senior music editor of a weekly magazine not too long ago, so it's not all for nought, as they say. Ya really never know who is readin' this stuff.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

It's 2020, and 16-year old Charlotte in NYC wants to go on a little road trip with her friends. Nu-metal is experiencing a revival, and her friends are renting a van and want to follow the reformed Limp Bizkit on the NYC-Boston-Philly leg of their tour. Would you be OK with her going on the trip? If not, what would be your justification for not allowing her to go?

BB

please clarify "lowest common denominator,"

thnx

-david

Well, it would really depend on how well I knew her friends and what else was going on in her life at the time. In terms of thinking Nu-Metal's crap....I may think that, but if she were to enjoy it, who would I be to rain on her parade? We'll see.

Alex in NYC

By lowest common denominator, I'm referring to the reliance on topics, lingo and memes centered exclusively around tireless boasting about the acquisition of wealth and sexual prowess.
It's base and boring and depressing.

Alex in NYC

Have you ever bumped into a photog named Karen at work? I was wondering if she's still into Simon & Garfunkel.

Well, the photographers don't really hang around in my area, and in the new office layout, the photography department is on an entirely different floor. Can't say that the name Karen rings any bells either.

For my money, the best Simon & Garfunkel album was Bookends.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

Can I borrow your nailgun?

Sincerely,

The ilm search engine reveals you citing the band The Fixx numerous times as a guilty pleasure.

How many Fixx records will you confess to owning?

I've always wondered what your favorite band is...j/k.

Actually, what do you believe is the "next big thing" in rock? Or polka for that matter.

What exactly is rockism???

Your lack of love for contemporary R'n'B is well-documented. Do you enjoy any older soul / funk / R'n'B, and do you have a cut-off year, as it were? Also, what specifically irks you about Usher and his ilk?

You can have my Nail Gun when you pry it....FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!

Fondly,
Alex in NYC

Fixx-wise, I have....

Shuttered Room
Reach the Beach
Phantoms (which is my favorite)
..and not one, but two "best of" compilations.....`cos, y'know, one just wouldn't suffice.

Saved by Zero,
Alex in NYC

Do you have any pets?

Sincerely,

Bimble

You're asking the wrong person who the "next big thing" in rock is. My lease on the cutting edge ran out, and I had to move off of it some time ago. Thus, I am no longer privvy to information that was easily gathered from that vantage point.

But I'm okay with that. Really I am.

Cheers,
Alex iin NYC

Rockism is a woefully overused term. That's really all you need to know.

Don't worry about it.

Alex in nYc

What's the best song about Jesus?

Hugs and kisses,
Dom

Do you like "classical" music? If so, who are your favourite composers?

I don't have a "cut off year," so to speak, but I love me lots of the old stuff, notably Gil Scott-Heron, Curtis Mayfield, Bill Withers, Otis Redding, Rufus Thomas, Isaac Hayes, Parliament, Brass Construction, Isley Brothers, War, Sly & the Family Stone and even little portions of Luther Vandross. I'm not a big Motown fan, though (just too overplayed/overhyped...I blame The Big Chill).

In terms of Usher and his vile ilk, I think my primary problem is the utterly needless melismatic vocal style. Okay...so you can leap-frog quickly from octave to octave -- WE GET IT!. Ugh! Hate that fuckin' stuff. No restraint at all. Also, Usher doesn't seem to have anything much to say. I mean, I've got nothing against silly love songs, so to speak, but can't you bring something else to the table? It's just not my thing. He seems like a perfectly nice gent, though.

Hope that clears it up,
Alex in NYC

Nope, no pets. I have a wife and a child and a couple of plants, though.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

MIA may be shit. The only MIA I remember was a hardcore band in the 80's, and I presume you're not talking about them. I don't remember them as being especially noteworthy, but I wouldn't have called them shit.

Here they are now...

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre600/e676/e67685nbljf.jpg

Alex in NYC

The best song about Jesus, as far as I'm concerned, is probably "Jesus Entering from the Rear" by the Feederz, which is as rude and disrespectful as it sounds.

God bless,
Alex in NYC

In a 1999 interview, Debbie Harry said that the only female fronted band she was interested in nowadays was Hole. What similarities do you see between "Celebrity Skin" and "Parallel Lines"?

I do like a lot of classical music, but I couldn't say I'm especially well versed in it. My step-father was quite big into it when I was a child, so I heard lots of it growing up, but didn't appreciate it at the time. I like the more "heavy metal" sounding stuff the most, probably (i.e. Wagner, Prokofiev, Grieg, Tchaikovsky, and of course, Bach & Beethoven). My favorite bits of classical music are probably Bach's "Tocata & Fugue" (sp?) as played on a big motherfuckin' pipe organ and Orff's "Carmina Burana," which is sort've like the over-the-top classical equivalent of Killing Joke (to me, anyway). Prokofiev's "Romeo & Juliet" is suitably dour and gothic and histrionic to my liking as well.

Vivaldi's "four seasons" is mighty nice too. My wife is a big Beethoven fan, so that gets a lot of airplay.

So, anyway, yeah, I like a lot of it, but am still finding my way with it.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

But honestly...I'd love to do reviews of singles with Alex. That'd be funny as hell, unless we agree.

Are you not answering my question because you are disappointed by the remasters? I mean, quit making excuses with Firedances isn't out yet, it's not an option crap! Please, I'm really asking you, just answer my question.

*I am a child of folly and now I want my way*

Aja

I HATE YOU!

Why must he do this? It's like the simplest question I've asked him! God, he's going to be a great father

Don't take that personally

Look. I'm really, really, seriously, honestly,...um can't think of any more synonyms....SORRY.

Really.

I'm really impatient and I have the bad habit of argueing with people I like intentionally. (Hard to believe, but oh so true. I know it sounds insane, but it's the truth, which apperantly is hard for anyone on here to believe because it's my truth. And that sucks.)

Alex, don't leave this place because of me. Please.

I'll stop with this nonsense now.

recently I purchased a red t-shirt, which features a reproduction of the cover of gang of four's classic entertainment! album. I faced a certain amount of internal conflict while making the purchase, eventually deciding that the negatives of the possible debasement of the cover art at the hands of the capitalist merchandising machine was outweighed by it being a great record and a cool t-shirt. as a noted expert on band t-shirt etiquette, how would you have approached this situation?

did you ever consider volunteering to do jail time in lieu of matthew cooper as a means to finally propel yourself up the TWInc-ie ladder of achievement? just an idea...

oh, and hi again. maybe I missed it, but where were you flying to and from? my wife and I (did I tell you I got married?) just got back from prague and vienna a couple of weeks ago.

yrs,
jon a.

Why didn't I follow you out of TW when I had the chance? Next time you see me, kill me please?

Congratulations on gettin' hitched! Prague, eh? That's where Killing Jok....oh nevermind.

E-mail me.

Alex

I keep picturing these two universes in my mind: the one where Nighttime gets resissued, and the one where it doesn't. Parallel universes - but which is the one to really come? I just have this gut feeling it will happen, this reissue, though, when I really try to guess.

And each of every one of these survivors has a copy of Nighttime, that has been remastered and reissued with bonus tracks, which they shall gather together to listen to in small groups, and shake their heads and mutter "oh, if only we'd listened to Jaz...."

I rather fear George Dubya's role in summoning forth the four horsemen of the apocalypse is actually going to be somewhat central.

Which means Killing Joke have got... what? Another 2-3 years at the outside to get Nighttime remastered and on the streets?

As did Jaz.

If Jack Natz is so dangerous, how come he used to wear leather trousers on stage that made him look like Bono?

Sincerely
Matt #2

You trying asking him that and see where it gets you in the "danger" department. I saw him not too long ago in my local deli. He now has a moustahche/goatee arrangment on his face that makes him vaguely resemble Dick Dastardly.

Good Luck,
Alex in NYC

I rather suspect Dubya would like to stop them being published during his presidency. He obviously thinks literacy is inherently subversive.

Good one my friend, I know not how to reply.

I only wanted to add something stupid and trivial about this silly old band called Rema Rema that Big Black COVERED...that's right I said BIG BLACK COVERED.

Furthermore, anyone who owns This Mortal Coil's first album "It'll End In Tears" should be aware that "Fond Affections" was originally a song by REMA REMA.

Additionally, anyone who likes Rema Rema and doesn't mind a bit of goth sprinkled in with their preferred first meal of the day should check out the post-Rema Rema project with some Rema Rema members - it's called Mass "Labour Of Love" LP. Vinyl is worth a fortune now, and you can't get it on CD, but...hey if you're courageous enough to investigate adventuresome, rockin', schizophrenic, goth post-punk folks, a record both creating and ending its very own GENRE, I recommend Mass "Labour Of Love" on -you guessed it- 4AD Records, 1981. Surely Throbbing Gristle would have approved of this?

End of Sermon.

Dear Alex in NYC,
Can you give me any advice about buying a good notebook PC?
I must be drunk because early R.E.M. is sounding like a good thing to pull out right now. Nah, but I'm just kidding. I'm not that desperate yet. Not when I've got new Fall CD's. Still no KJ CD reissue in the mail, damnit!!!

- Bimble

Re: a good notebook PC, you couldn't ask a less qualified person. I'm a Mac user through and through.

Early REM is great (well, Chronic Town, I mean).

Sorry to hear about KJ not arriving yet. Where'd you order it from?

Lood Guck,
Alex in NYC

Well damnit I know early R.E.M. and Chronic Town is great, but I'm just getting too stuck in me ways these days, I'm trying to challenge myself and pulling out safe and easy gems from the past like that isn't going to cut it.

I ordered the damn KJ from a company who let me down before when I tried to order the first Scritti Politti album, Songs To Remember. But still I went with them again because I am trying to save money. I may prove to be completely stupid, but my strategy is to wait. It took me a whole month got get that Genesis P. Orridge book in the mail. It hasn't even been a whole two weeks yet since I ordered the KJ. I know it will come. Just not on a WEEKEND, BECAUSE OF MURPHY'S LAW.

That's okay. I've got other stupid cheesy ideas of what else to play instead to amuse myself. I'll be okay. ;) Hahahaha.

- Bimble

The album you be thinkin'bout is the celestially wonderful Seventh Dream of Teenage Heaven. And yes, it's magnificent.

Alex in NYC

Right. What was this about early R.E.M.? No no no I refuse. I'll put on Pylon instead I swear! I know I'll play Chronic Town but the time isn't right yet. I must have Pylon first.

Worth a fortune you say? Blimey, I'll have to get my copy out and put it in E-Bay immediately give it another listen!

I actually saw them once, bottom of the bill below Theatre Of Hate, Modern English and The Birthday Party. Can't say they made much of a lasting impression - but then being immediately followed on stage by The Birthday Party wouldn't have exactly helped them in that respect!

I've only got the album because 4AD kindly used to send me review copies of everything they released (in recognition of all the rabid plugging I gave to Bauhaus' In The Flat Field when it first came out and no-one else seemed to be paying much attention).

Wasn't it a couple of guys from Rema Rema but not Marco?

To be honest I'm not sure I ever actually heard Rema Rema - they were only about for quite a short time and I believe only released one EP, which I don't think I've ever come across.

If you're (somewhat crudely) referring to an anecdote I posted about being propositioned by some guys at a Bunnymen/Psychedelic Furs show at the Beacon Theatre a few years ago, no. I don't regret turning them down, but I remain flattered all the same.

Alex in NYC

So, like, if I were to Dare Suggest an NYC*FAP for Saturday, July 30...would anyone actually show up?

...and try to keep it classy.

I'm in Texas at the moment. Back on Sunday night.

You know that we all love ya, right?

Signed,

Dear Alex in NYC,

Would you like a million hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs?

Sincerely,

lol

Is that a euphemism for electrocution?

Ha! If only.

"In view of the particularly brutal nature of these heinous crimes, the state of Texas hereby sentences the accused to one million hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs"

Truman Capote's In Warm Smee

Alex, it is a line from a song that, were you to hear it, would cause you to spontaneously generate epithets so foul and violent that you'd find yourself surprised not to have coined them already. Please trust me when I say that the song in question is a vile gently simmering ramekin of pus bubbling atop a stove whose other three burners, all set on low, are encrusted with old cat shit and flecks of tomato paste.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMr52bCXNdU

And we finally have the post of the year folks, lets all take tomorrow off from the internet.

(xpost)

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