SON OF EXCELSIOR! i can't believe it's another 'posts that make you laugh out loud' compendium thread"

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i'm not a moderator, but dammit i'm gonna be an alpha male and create this as a successor to the now-existing "posts that make you laugh out loud" -- because i've still got a 56K modem at home and i'm sick of the present thread taking forever to upload!

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 05:36 (twenty-two years ago)

uh yeah, here are the posts that i think are funny:

keith's post reminds me, that "say you say me" came dangerously close to being my high school's prom theme ... genesis's "follow you follow me" won.
-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 9th, 2003.

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your school's prom committee sure was big on "BLANK You, BLANK Me" songs, wasn't it?
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), July 9th, 2003.

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v/vm's version of "all night long" rules
-- electric sound of jim (electricsoun...), July 9th, 2003.

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BJORN SAYS CHOOSE "KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU"! Tad's class wuz robbed!
-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewe...), July 9th, 2003.

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actually, i think that our prom committee had a bunch of geirbots ... that's why we ended up with genesis (and not lionel richie or abba)
-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 9th, 2003.

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did they crash other schools' proms and scream "WHERE'S THE MELODY?" at the DJ?
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), July 9th, 2003.

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that would be so punk rock, if only they were wearing viking helmets.
-- amateurist (amateuris...), July 9th, 2003.

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 05:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't believe its another 'posts that made you laugh out loud' compendium thread, excelsior yadda yadda

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 05:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Didn't he collaborate with Rob Zombie recently for something?
All Night Of The Living Dead Long (All Night)

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), July 8th, 2003.

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 05:56 (twenty-two years ago)

James Blount from the "Bob Dylan, Plagiarist?" thread:

but he changes the lines significantly (enough so that some of them have cursory similarities at most - ooh he said "shove off" oh and they both mention trees - spooky)(not that that'll stop a Dylanologist)(what will stop a Dylanologist: a girlfriend)

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

...it sorta negates the 'rush' of eating a McGriddle ie. taking an entire McDonalds Breakfast Platter, scrunching it into a ball, and shoving it into your face.
-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewe...), July 9th, 2003. (James Blount)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Blount is on a roll.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

so he too can be served

― Snowy Mann (rdmanston), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Coming soon to a video rental store near you is the latest (and i from what i hear greatest - at least since the astonishing On Deadly Ground) Seagal masterwork. Yes, the ponytailed whale is back on form and whats more, its called Out For a Kill which is either the best or worst movie title ever.

Are you as excited as me?

-- David_X (david.downin...), July 9th, 2003.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The entire Lionel Ritchie thread is funny.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

you are in the bathroom, reading a porno mag and eating an egg salad sandwich.
-- Horace Mann (handsomishbo...), July 9th, 2003. (Horace Mann)

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Ah, but which mag is it?
-- luna (luna_cee...), July 9th, 2003. (luna.c)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I just like meat. They could put a fried elephant testicle on pizza and i'd probably eat it. But a fruit on a pizza is not ok.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 9th, 2003 9:58 AM. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn! You beat me to it. :D

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

GOOMH!

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Lionel Richie can't slow down, but he can take a little breather to enjoy the comfy ambience of his summer home.

-- dleone (d_leon...), July 9th, 2003 8:28 AM. (later)

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Are there any songs about women which are sensitive and caring? - duh, every hip-hop song (cept for Eminem's) about Mamas

-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewe...), July 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

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Every hip-hop song is by Oedipus?

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

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"sensitive and caring" automatically implies bootybangin to you Ned? Heavens!

-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewe...), July 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

The Best Pizza Ever
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from donut bitch's worst pizza ever thread
a place in my hometown does a "pita pizza" which is actually a very large pita (it might be a pizza crus i dunno) like 16 or 18" which is split down the middle and then cut into pizza sized slices and filled with lettuce, tomato, onion, olive oil, salami, ham, cheese, peppers...xcept this is GOOD

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), July 9th, 2003. (dubplatestyle) (1 trackback) (later) (link)

Answers
sounds suspiciously like a "sandwich"
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), July 9th, 2003. (spencermfi) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

"LICK THE BALLS"!!!!!!!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), July 9th, 2003 11:30 AM. (later)

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"NOT RIGHT NOW, I'M BUSY, MAYBE LATER" !!!!!
-- oops (don'temailmebitc...), July 9th, 2003 11:31 AM. (later)

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The sad thing is that I was reading that going, "Hmm, what song is that? Sounds like a take-off on PWEI..."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"Just when I thought you couldn't say anything stupider, you just keep on talking."

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), July 9th, 2003.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

(fwiw Horace, I ripped that line directly from King of the Hill)

I'm sorry but my next contribution to this thread might piss you off bro. Sorry.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Dada, enough is enough (picture thread)

please confine yourself to picture threads. PLEASE.
While I appreciate what y're doing, it's slowing me the eff down. You can cut and paste the posts your images refer to within the picture threads.
Pleeeeaasssee.
-- Horace Mann (handsomishbo...), July 9th, 2003. (Horace Mann)

Answers

http://redhawk.n-tama.k12.ia.us/ACA/ACA.HP.S02/mbabinat.hp/rock.eyebrow.jpg
-- Dada (dad...), July 9th, 2003.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew it was familiar, but wasn't going to hazard a guess. KOTH reference is A-OK in my books, and for yr post, I was asking for it.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

sossidge with pancakes = toad in the hole
-- mark s (mar...), July 9th, 2003 9:54 AM.

toad in the hole = 2-4 plus fines in most US states
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), July 9th, 2003 9:58 AM.

surely not if you add syrup or sugar also
-- mark s (mar...), July 9th, 2003 10:03 AM.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Hah, I was about to post that!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Continuing on from the me/Mark exchange...

Then wrap the things in the pancakes and call them Piggies In a Blanket

-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), July 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

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Put the syrup on its skin.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 9th, 2003. (later) (link)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

On "best films of the century so far" thread:

Crouching Tiger
Tenenbaums
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
The Man Who Wasn't There
Election
About Schmidt
Ghost Dog
Fucking Amal/Show Me Love
Being John Malkovich

(not checked my dates, so some might be out of scope)

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...) (webmail), July 9th, 2003 10:21 AM. (Martin Skidmore) (later) (link)

Being John Malkovich was actually released in 1964.

-- s1utsky (parrisactava...) (webmail), July 9th, 2003 11:24 AM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

Yeah, Seconds so ripped it off!

-- amateurist (amateuris...) (webmail), July 9th, 2003 11:24 AM. (amateurist) (later) (link)

Being Rock Hudson

-- s1utsky (parrisactava...) (webmail), July 9th, 2003 11:35 AM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

a FESTERING bag of crunchy donkey dicks
Not so rewarding now, eh mark?
-- Andrew (n...), July 9th, 2003.

i'm not planning on eating the BAG you mentalist
-- mark s (mar...), July 9th, 2003.

― Dan I., Wednesday, 9 July 2003 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

it's all abt the feeling man *feels hopkins*
-- mark s (mar...), July 9th, 2003.

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I'm feeling that, man. So stop it.
-- Tim (hopkinsti...), July 9th, 2003

― gaz (gaz), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Boys often like crazy girls when they first meet them but then later the boys gets tired of all the craziness and shout jeeringly at the girls that they are crazy.
-- estela (estelaisale...) (webmail), July 10th, 2003 1:16 AM. (estela) (later)

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you know what they say about somewhere being a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there... it's like that.
-- electric sound of jim

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 10 July 2003 05:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Even from the very start of their careers, Peter Gabriel has always pissed on Sting.
But, well, what's the big deal. I mean Peter Gabriel pisses on most people anyway....

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), March 3rd, 2003.

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That's pretty punk of him!
-- Ally (mlescau...), March 3rd, 2003.

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 10 July 2003 08:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Mmm, shrimp, red peppers and Chiclets floating in poo sauce.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), July 9th, 2003.

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You forgot the dried vomit crust.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 9th, 2003.

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dan if your poo is that black i'd advise you to see a doctor
or superfly

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), July 9th, 2003.

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― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 10 July 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"Paranoid Android". What do I win?
-- Ally (mlescau...), July 10th, 2003.

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You win the biggest prize of all!
-- Pinkpanther (pinkpanther4...), July 10th, 2003.

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A dinner and extended philosophical conversation with Thom Yorke!
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 10th, 2003.

― kate (kate), Thursday, 10 July 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Imagine stripping to "Climbing Up The Walls"!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), July 10th, 2003. (Dan Perry)

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beep boop beep boop tits, beep boop beep boop beav.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 10th, 2003. (Chris V)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 10 July 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

well if you trust Drunk Di, the Sound of Music is the perfect striptease soundtrack. (see why i gave up booze?)

-- di smith (lucylure...), July 10th, 2003 10:32 AM. (later)

― estela (estela), Thursday, 10 July 2003 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

NA. saves fun for another day! Like Superman, but instead of fighting for justice, he fights for fun. Which is better anyway, fuck justice.

-- Ally (mlescau...), July 10th, 2003. (later)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 July 2003 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"I put syrup on everything, it makes me strong!"
http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2003/WORLD/meast/07/09/offbeat.big.kids.ap/story.four.ap.jpg
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 10th, 2003. (Chris V)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 10 July 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Ho ho: Status Quo can only play three chords. Ha! If they played more chords, their music would be better, but they don't: they play only three. Three!
Do you know what I like to call the Rolling Stones: "the Strolling Bones"! Because they're older than they were thirty years ago, when they were young! Yessir, I wish I'd seen the Strolling Bones when they toured with Bob Dylan - or, as I call him, Robert ZIMMERFRAME! (What? Oh, because his real name is Zimmerman.)

And you know that artist who had a hit, but isn't in the charts now? Do you know what I reckon he said today? "Would you like fries with that?". What I mean by this is that, like most acts, the artist's success didn't last forever. And so now they are not in the chart. And they may have a job, possibly a demeaning one. Oh, I wouldn't like to be that artist right now, not after my biting piece of Schadenfreude. I am so mean.

Avril Latrine! David Gay! Kate Windswept! Shall I keep going?

Ha ha! Do you know what all music was like before Punk? Every song was all about, like, wizards and goblins, and all the songs were, like, twenty minutes long, and had crumpelhorns and synths and stuff and it was all rubbish but now it's funny, "prog rock" is. Because of its excesses.

That jazz you are listening to: I am going to spoil it by saying "nice". Which means that it is jazz. What's that? Oh, right. Well, it sounded like jazz to me. You know, jazz - "nice"!

I've got another: Elvis died on the toilet. Which is undignified.

Oh, and I heard some Leonard Cohen the other day. "Laughing" Len sounds like perfect music to kick back and enjoy ---- if you're planning on killing yourself! (Which I'm not. I was being ironical.)

That Dexy's song is one of my favourite songs about a DARTS PLAYER. Oh, you don't think it's about a darts player? Well, you'd have to argue that one with blah blah blah.

You know Justin Timerlake was going out with Britney, and she was, like, a virgin? But still rilly rilly pretty? He must have been so freaking frustrated. Because he will have wanted to have had sex with her. His balls must have been as blue as... what's that? Oh, right. I hadn't heard that. Well, up to that point, anyway, he must have been frustrated. In a funny way.

On a related note, Dolly Parton has never seen her feet! And she has a fine pair of lungs on her. And something about "assets".

x wasn't even the best y in the z.

-- Alan Connor, Jnr (atlarg...), July 10th, 2003 4:06 AM

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

wow-where the hell did that come from?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

It's from the Tell Other Jokes thread on ILM.

― NA. (Nick A.), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I just had the mentalist idea of anouncing to the object of your flirtation that you are about to flirt with them and then making robot noises and chanting "FLIRT... FLIRT.... FLIRT..." until the run from the room crying. I will come back to the thread when I have advice that is designed to be helpful rather than designed to make me giggle.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), July 10th, 2003.

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

from the 'how do i flirt' thread:

In the age of speed-dating, perhaps flirting in the traditional sense is like driving a traction engine up the motorway. The effective way to flirt these days is to be obviously salacious, which has about a one in five success rate, from my observation, which is better odds than a train arriving on time. If you fancy a bloke just tell him you'd like to fuck him. You don't have to do so, by the way, but it clears the air.
Jake Proudlock.

-- Jake Proudlock (qp10q...), July 10th, 2003. (later)
Jake, I would like to fuck you.
-- Chris Piuma (chri...), July 10th, 2003. (later)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 10 July 2003 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Just draw little mustaches on everyone and then your pictures will become great!
-- Chris Piuma (chri...), July 10th, 2003. (later)

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You're a genius!
-- Ally (mlescau...), July 10th, 2003. (later)

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(please oh please let Ally be in charge of the MacArthur award...)
-- Chris Piuma (chri...), July 10th, 2003. (later)

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The Darwin Award? What?
-- Ally (mlescau...), July 10th, 2003. (later)

― felicity (felicity), Thursday, 10 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Yep, it is an awful remark but I don't think it gives us any *more* insight to Bushs' mind-set/worldview. It is what it is and IT IS fucking horrible. Don't even get me started in his current tour of Africa - the most cynical exercise EVAH!
-- Eduardo (awmc...), July 10th, 2003. (Rivers and a Lighter) (later) (link)

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Bono and Bush should do Africa TOGETHER yelling 'BIZARRO! BIZARRO! BIZARRO!' at everyone and puking ice cubes all over the place.
-- Millar (tmilla...), July 10th, 2003. (Millar) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 10 July 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope everybody understands by now why I personally do not own a camera

-- Millar (tmilla...), July 10th, 2003. (Millar) (later)
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Yeah, cuz you spent all your money on that shirt.

-- NA. (emmaa...), July 10th, 2003. (Nick A.) (later)

― Chris P (Chris P), Thursday, 10 July 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Where is the hot dude from ER from? I'll take that side.
-- Ally (mlescau...), July 10th, 2003 5:51 PM. (later)

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I believe Mekhi Phifer is African-American.
-- Neudonym (zinogu...), July 10th, 2003 5:52 PM. (later)

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 10 July 2003 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I still watch The Real World/Road Rules.

-- Dan Perry (djperr), July 10th, 2003. (later)

dan "sader-masoch" perry

-- jess (dubplatest), July 10th, 2003. (later)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 July 2003 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I went to take the trash out and at the dumpster there is a massive amount of hornets roaming around. Apparently he thought my pimple was a boulder and climbed aboard. I got upstairs, touched my cheek and the fucker stung me. Bastard.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 10th, 2003 2:37 PM. (later)

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put a baking-soda paste on it. Make sure it was a hornet; if it was a bee the sting will still be in your cheek and you'll need to remove it.
-- teeny (teen...), July 10th, 2003 2:38 PM. (later)

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aargh no baking soda!!!!!!!
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 10th, 2003 2:39 PM. (later)

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OMG THEN YOU WILL DIE!!!!
-- teeny (teen...), July 10th, 2003 2:44 PM. (later)

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 10 July 2003 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

mashped potato not carbo. mashped potatoes mashped potato.
-- TI... (TIM@KFC.EDU), July 10th, 2003 12:56 AM.

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I note that Tim apparently is posting from the KFC Academy.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 10th, 2003 1:08 AM.

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Beats Police Academy
-- Andrew Thames (cleanbridge...), July 10th, 2003 1:15 AM.

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That series in full:
KFC Academy
KFC Academy ii - Their first Hot wings
KFC Acadamy iii - Back in Batter
KFC Academy iv - Party Buckets on Patrol
KFC Academy v - Assignment: Extra Coleslaw
KFC Academy vi - Arteries under siege
KFC Academy vii - Mission to giblets
(N.B I am very, very sorry)

-- Matt (Mat...), July 10th, 2003 2:13 AM.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 11 July 2003 04:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Watergate was not a teenage issue.

-- James Blount (littlejohnnyjewe...), July 10th, 2003

I have this image of Blount whining this like a 15 yr old girl. "mo-om, watergate is NOT a teenage issue. its, like, important, okaaaaaay?"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 11 July 2003 05:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 546 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

It's like the funniest thing I've ever read. It's so true.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, if you expand it to include your family and most of your friends, it's really ~~funny~~ tragic.

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

haha! You know me too well!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i was talking about myself, actually.

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I am aware, but...oh never mind, it's not worth my time.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

oh i just thought there was confusion over the "you".

but yeah it's pretty universal. sad but true.

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

yall are just two peas in a pod! : )

― nnnh oh oh nnnh nnnh oh (James Blount), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

http://users.goldengate.net/~hterveen/baby/tinies/peas-in-a-pod4.jpg

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

From the "Your DJ Name" thread:

WWJDJ, as in What Would Jesus DJ?, although nobody ever got it and I was forced to accept the fact that I'm not nearly as clever as I thought. Brutal.
-- Ben Boyer (heavensmout...), August 20th, 2003. (Ben Boyer) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Despite appearances here to the contrary, I'm incredibly patient. I can put up with a lot. Unless you knock over the Christmas tree, then it's the fists of fury for you.
-- Ally (mlescau...), August 21st, 2003. (mlescaut) (later) (link)

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Wrong thread. Patience isn't much of a turn-on for anyone.
-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), August 21st, 2003. (afarrell) (later) (link)

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It is if you're Axl Rose.
-- Larcole (nicolew1...), August 21st, 2003. (Nicole) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 12:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i would describe my voice as soporific
-- duane (gfjhs...), August 21st, 2003. (later)

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in fact soporTASTIC
-- duane (gfjhs...), August 21st, 2003. (later)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 21 August 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Much of After a Posting Desert, a Flood made me laugh, but it's not stuff that cuts and pastes well.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 21 August 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

The Cock is kinda funny. Especially the vacuum-pumped skinhead looking go-go dancers. The music is usually pretty good too. If you want to sit and chat, drink, dance, do lines of coke, or get anonymous blow jobs in the backroom, there's something for everyone. It's like the family-friendly version of gay sleaze.

-- phil-two (philtw...), August 21st, 2003. (phil-two) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I also have lots of test-anxiety dreams, but even those are generously laced with comic relief. Like the one where I was running late for a test and all the flesh fell off my body as I ran to school, so that I was just a bone-white skeleton by the time I got to class. Then when the teacher put the test on my desk I suddenly froze in terror, lifted my bone hand to my skeleton face, stuck my bone fingers through my eyes sockets and rooted around in my skull, hearing the "ca-clink! ca-clink!" of my fingers rattling around in there. And, in horror, I moaned to myself, "I forgot to bring my brain ..."
My unconscious is a riot.

-- jewelly (jewelly123...), August 21st, 2003 11:59 AM. (later)

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

that is awesome.

― amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

And totally freaky. If I had that dream I prob'ly would classify it as a nightmare.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I won't pay for friendster thou.

-- jel -- (freeduni...), August 21st, 2003. (jel) (later) (link)

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I mean, I value my friendship with Alice Cooper, he's a great guy.
-- jel -- (freeduni...), August 21st, 2003. (jel) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

BTW jewelly i am stealing that for a movie OK thanks love you.

― amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I may use it for a story or something! (Rushes to copyright her dream ...)

― jewelly (jewelly), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

being sued for dream infringement sounds like something out of a dystopian novel.

― amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 21 August 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

On another day, another place in time, I might've posted the Dream Police right then.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i've never figured out what the song is about besides some guy who's totally nutty and hears voices.

― amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

but now it looks like im fisting for compliments...

-- phil-two (philtw...), August 19th, 2003 4:39 PM. (phil-two)

BEST. TYPO. EVAH.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

http://home.comcast.net/~etrata/flash/banana2.swf

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

You a-holes kiss my mother with those mouths?
-- oops (don'temailmebitc...), August 21st, 2003. (Oops) (later) (link)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 August 2003 20:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Reading the title of this thread again I couldn't help but realize that we actually do live in that ridiculous sci-fi future world we used to read about, where people actually SAY things like "I fucked up my Superdrive!" - like if that was a line in a cyberpunk novel or a film we'd all scoff, but here we are! 21st Century and all that and it's all I can do not to imagine Chris and Slutsky having this conversation on a flourescent-lit BBC soundstage in shiny costumes like some Dr. Who episode subplot.
-- Millar (tmilla...), August 21st, 2003.

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Where's your rocketpack, Tom?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 21st, 2003.

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I fucked up my Rocketpack and am extremely upset
-- Millar (tmilla...), August 21st, 2003.

― jewelly (jewelly), Thursday, 21 August 2003 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not having 19 more children for anyone I don't care how good their chicken is
- Luna

I'm telling you, when I get tired of the writing thing and open Tep's Sack O' Chicken, it's gonna say right on the sign, "It's Twenty Children Good!"

-- Tep (te...), August 22nd, 2003. (later)

― Nellie (nellskies), Friday, 22 August 2003 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

haha - I almost posted that!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 August 2003 01:58 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the thread where you guess what im holding in my hand.
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Go!
-- Spinktor the Unmerciful (kentuckysharkwhiske...), August 22nd, 2003. (mawill5) (later) (link)

Answers
Millar's dick.
-- chester (goth_casua...), August 22nd, 2003. (synkro) (later) (link)

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Friday, 22 August 2003 02:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Roxette with a male singer? That would be Bruce Springsteen then?

-- colin s barrow (colinsbarro...), August 22nd, 2003 11:55 PM. (colin s barrow) (later)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 August 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

i know, i got some [ripped jeans a la Joe Elliott]. is it a crime to love the 80's? i mean, wtf, so my spine still gets tingly when i hear bringin on the heartbrea or love bites, or in time by robbie rob, or 18 and life by skid row. guess this boy's just supposed to walk alone
-- rthoffman (rthoffma...), August 21st, 2003.

From "got a question for ya, ladies." The whole thread is pretty killer, but this particular post got me.

― Prude (Prude), Friday, 22 August 2003 03:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I think people are focusing on the 'indie' part too much, and missing the 'corny' and 'fuxx' which is the jist of the squib
then why hasn't "corny pop fuxx" caught on?
-- Sonny A. (newaddres...), August 22nd, 2003 8:12 PM. (Keiko)

Because it sounds like an awesome breakfast cereal
n Nate Patrin (natepatrin5500@msn.com), August 22nd, 2003 8:14 PM. (Nate Patrin)

*then, later in the thread...*

corny pop fuxxx = masturbating to Black Tail while listening to basement jaxx.
-- Sterling Clover (s_clove...), August 22nd, 2003 11:27 PM. (s_clover)

part of this complete breakfast
-- Nate Patrin (natepatrin550...), August 22nd, 2003 11:31 PM. (Nate Patrin)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 22 August 2003 04:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i played bass on astral weeks and have still not been paid

-- mark s (mar...), August 22nd, 2003 5:40 AM. (mark s) (later)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 August 2003 08:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd forgotten there was a bloke in them! They were like a better Sugarcubes.
-- Tom (freakytrigge...), August 22nd, 2003. (Groke) (later) (link)

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"like a better sugarcubes" = "u r all corny planet earth fuxx"
-- mark s (mar...), August 22nd, 2003. (mark s) (later) (link)

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Friday, 22 August 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

this is the thread where you decide that its your life and every single second you have can be a good one or it can be one spent complaining abuot other peoples lives. this is the thread where it doesnt matter whether you think the other people here are shit, because it would mean spending time on something you dont like. this is the thread where you learn to love. dont worry though, everything is going to be ok, because life is great, and we all love it, and this is what makes you rock as a person. lets play some alan braxe records now and look forward to jeff mills playing out on bank holiday sunday in a docklands warehouse
life is good. love it!

-- gareth (garet...), August 22nd, 2003. (gareth) (later) (link)

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Hippie.
-- Sean (saturns...), August 22nd, 2003. (Sean) (later) (link)

(actually the whole "Does this board serve any purpose other than..." thread is killing me)

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Friday, 22 August 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I will contribute a short story. How long should a short story be?
-- jel -- (freeduni...), August 22nd, 2003 11:44 AM. (later)

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not very long
-- stevem (bluesk...), August 22nd, 2003 11:45 AM. (later)

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I laugh at some stupid shit.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 22 August 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

what sticker on a cadillac would tell YOU "Don't look back. You can never look back."?
-- Horace Mann (handsomishbo...), August 22nd, 2003. (Horace Mann) (later) (link)

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a sticker that read "Don't look back. You can never look back."
-- hstencil (hstenci...), August 22nd, 2003. (later) (link)

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Friday, 22 August 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i am going to make that sticker

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 22 August 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i will sell them out of my new hotel chain

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 22 August 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i was just about to post that.

― amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 22 August 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey! I'm in the hotel business, I can help you out. Here's a hint: don't sell to Marv Albert.

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Friday, 22 August 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG

Al Gore visits Czechs without "human disguise"

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Friday, 22 August 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"It's gettin hot in herre...so drink Nelly's pimp juice--CONTAINS MERCEDES BENZODRINE AND ADDED PRESERVATIVES TO ENHANCE SEXUAL POTENCY AND BOOST ADRENABLING"

-- stevem (bluesk...), August 22nd, 2003 2:08 PM. (blueski)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 22 August 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

are you a beard, ally?
- RJG

― David. (Cozen), Friday, 22 August 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course I love Duran Duran. What kind of asshole do you think I am?
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), August 22nd, 2003. (vassifer) (later) (link)

― Ally-zay (mlescaut), Friday, 22 August 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I think that Steve Albini went to art college rather than working in a slaughterhouse, but maybe he knew someone that did.

-- udu wudu (guapotou...) (webmail), August 22nd, 2003 11:23 AM. (udu wudu) (later) (link)

― amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 22 August 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Where does this rockist thing come from anyway?

Comiskey Park 1979.

-- Nate Patrin (natepatrin550...), August 23rd, 2003 8:26 PM. (Nate Patrin) (later)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 22 August 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

After Barbie Girl, a formal feeling comes.

-- Frank Kogan (edcasua...), August 22nd, 2003 7:22 PM. (Frank Kogan) (later)

― s1utsky (slutsky), Saturday, 23 August 2003 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

haha - I once wrote something in flagpole comparing momus and wesley willis (I once also wrote a feature on willis I wince at now, particularly since parts of it confirm in the worst way some of your accusations)(ie. I quote fucking Macbeth)
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), August 23rd, 2003 5:45 AM. (James Blount) (later) (link) (admin) (66.32.101.114)

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blount please stop me from quoting faulkner in my bubba sparxxx feature
-- trife (...), August 23rd, 2003 5:47 AM. (simon_tr) (later) (link) (admin) (216.78.34.215)

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haha - "madam, I was the corncob"
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), August 23rd, 2003 5:51 AM. (James Blount) (later) (link) (admin) (66.32.101.114)

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 23 August 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Time for a new thread...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 23 August 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread has been locked by an administrator

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