words that annoy

In fact all Internet clichés - references to beverages all over the keyboard in particular

The word snarky

"Go figure"
"Barf"

Similarly 'literally'.

If you can't write English properly then you're literally fucked.

also, people tend to say "i could care less" when they mean "i couldn't care less"

and i detest the word "irregardless". no one uses it correctly, and it sounds very awkward.

i hate the way we in the uk now say "nine eleven" when for us it's obviously eleven nine.

"lovely jubbly" makes me want to kill.

"Like, hey, enough with the kitten pictures already..." IT MAKES NO SENSE!

I blame Friends.

"paradigm" is also starting to get on my nerves. It's another overused favorite of the MBAs.

there are other many other examples of corporatespeak that irk me but I am trying not to think about them.

juxtapose

POSTMODERN

Let's start again from scratch.

also, you use a hammer to pound nails, but
you utilize a crescent wrench to cave in the head of an officemate who doesn't care about the difference between the two words.

http://www.kastar.com/product_pages/images/Kastar_Crescent-Wrench.jpg

I think I will try to popularize the term "protes" for proteins.

For example, all the words in Chinese annoy me, because why can't they fucking standardize on an alphabet and some basic usage patterns, and why do the damn Shanghainese have to pronounce everything different from everybody else and etc. Fuck Chinese words, they annoy me.

All the words in Japanese annoy me because what in the jesus do you need three writing systems for. Especially anything written in Katakana, jesus. MA KU RO DO NA RU DO!!!! Arrrrrgh, fuck them words.

And all the words in Korean ESPECIALLY annoy me because I hear them and I read them and I learned all of them and I should know them and be able to understand them very well and I don't because I haven't used a lick of it in like two years. That shit is about the most irritating thing on earth. Fuck some Korean words.

And all the other foreign languages? Those words annoy me too because what are you, talking in code? Are you saying shit about my girlfriend? I ought to kick your ass. Speak English, you twerp. This is America! Learn the rules!!

I heart the Tombot.

I'm going to go get lunch now. It will be... food. With food in it.

By the way, restaurantese is REALLY annoying. They use a lot of nouns in verbs: "Plate that right this time!" meaning "put it on a plate and use all the proper garnishes in our standard hideous arrangement or you will be fucked with by your manager for the rest of the day."

"Magnificently plated!"

Every job I've ever had has turned me into a bigger language crank.

There is such a shock of recognition from post to post, as phrases I didn't know I hated alternate with ones I use too much...

'Action' - "We need to action this now..."

'Paradigm' - you can blame Thomas Kuhn for this one I think. It arrived into common parlance (ugh! hate that phrase) via the caring professions (ow!) ex-students of which had digested it as part of their philosophy units (in spite of the fact that Kuhn thought the social sciences and philosophy were preparadigmatic - which makes you wonder whether he thought his own theory of paradigms was preparadigmatic). As his critics never tired of pointing out, Kuhn never defined the word consistently either, using it in all kinds of ways. Now all it really means is 'area' or 'field'.

'Do a 360' when it should be 'do a 180' was mentioned above; what about 'it's a steep learning curve' to describe a task that is hard to pick up? Now, if time is on the Y axis and competence is on the X-axis, as is the convention, then a steep curve indicates a job that is picked up very quickly. It's a _shallow_ curve that indicates difficulty. Perhaps people have the mental picture of a steep curve being hard to climb.

(Also, I am a dick but not THAT much of a dick.)

Short for "We need an action item for this now..."?

"Schizophrenia" used to refer to multiple personality or other psychological disorders.

Certain people's way of pronouncing "ask" as "ax."

That's because Freud represents your father to you; no doubt the fear is related to a childhood incident where you were discovered doing something naughty. You are now projecting your fear on to authority figures of all kinds, and on to theories which may, so to speak, 'find you out' by revealing the psychodynamics of your neurosis. But, due to the psychological defence of reaction formation, you may find this hard to accept during the initial phase of treatment.

As in the study of light? why is that a bastardization or annoying?

and any host of words used by annoying people I know.

Anyone else have any anatomical or medical terms that annoy? I think saying "syphilis" is just plain fun, but "chlamydia?" I shudder to type it.

It's terrible to use, but sometimes, what else would you use?

Could you imagine if grad students ran around saying "zeitgeist" and "weltanschauung?" "Postmodern" and "paradigm" are bad enough. I think "discourse" is the least of our worries.

Ooooh, but you know what I bet is the worst? Applying "discourse" to ILE.

if fact, anything with a 'rrh' in it..

So what WOULD be a correct use of 'irregardless'?

Furthermore, I DETEST:

'the bottom line'

'flexibility' when used by Human Resources people (not real keen on 'human resources' either)

'mutual obligation'

24/7

'sooner than later' without the rather in the middle,

'at the end of the day'

all SMS shorthand but especially 'prolly'

'would/could/should of'

'traitor' and 'tragedy' used in sporting contexts

'bias' as an adjective (as in 'the ABC is bias', what does that mean: the ABC goes to Mass 12 times a week?)

Most Freudian or postmod jargon

'Go Pies'

"Power down" is pretty bad. Why can't they say "switch off" like everybody else?

and what abt outage? Our website was down earlier and I received an email to say that "They" were going to be "investigating the cause of this outage". I promptly sent an email back to say that they'd missed the 'r' out of "outrage".

(unless it's the time when Brad Pitt says it on Kalifornia)

(Pardon the mini-rant. Ahem.)

I picked up swearing in French habits as did many other American students I hung out with in Paris. which is OK around the office in the US because generally nobody understands, but did lead to a rather embarrassing moment at this big francophone party at the French embassy.. drunk friend disappointed at not winning a drawing for a voyage to Quebec yelling oh MERDE! PUTAIN! etc.

It also mentions the other common usage -- "avoiding the question" (which I don't think I really hear that much) -- as being about a hundred and fifty years old, so the confusion isn't new or anything.

http://www.intrepidsoftware.com/fallacy/begging.php

Now, if you really want to intimidate people, call it by its Latin name: petitio principii. Remember to pronounce the 'c' hard.

Could it be said to be the same thing as circular reasoning?

"Synergy"
(Normally a cool word. It even has TWO Y's in it! But its used by the same whistleheaded Brooks Brothers Straightjacketed metadrones that misuse "Paradigm"; and in similarly flawed and sloppy fashion.)

"...On a going forward basis..."
(AAAAGH! As opposed to WHAT!? A Going Backwards Until We All Delolve Back into Monkeys Basis? Every damned thing is on a 'going forward basis'. For mortal humanoids time only goes in ONE direction! You silly, Tassel-loafered dinosaur!)

I also second that vote for "Touch Base"
Damn that is such an obxious phrase.

And apostrophes (not that misuse of apostrophes really falls under this category but I just wanted to get this off my chest)! I went to buy an anniversary card for mr ailsa the other day, and I found one which said "for all the year's we've been together". I mean, WTF? Who proof-read that one?

I also once had a colleague who insisted, as an administrator, her job involved administrating things. IT'S ADMINISTERING!! Idiot. (she also misused the word "literally" and overused "basically" until I wanted to throw things at her. She also claimed that her spellchecker was wrong and that "seperate" and "apparant" were correct spelling and went out to buy a dictionary to prove herself right. Ha fucking ha.)

However, Colin is my new hero for his dismissal of the concept of steep learning curves, and I am going to point this out next time someone uses the phrase in my presence.

I'm so going to use that as a title of a song someday.

Word I hate to use and avoid using whenever possible: Feet. But only if I'm referring to human appendages; I can say "feet" without a care in the world when I'm talking about measurements. If I'm talking anatomy though, I'll say "legs" or "ankles" or "shoes" or whatever, even if it's not quite accurate, to avoid calling feet feet.

Makes me think of either Pierce Brosnan trying to put the moves on you or some dilapidated old granny fruitlessly attempting to be charming

THE WORST!!!!

Either way, it's still a great phrase. "Dream Kitchen" would be a great name for a studio. DON'T ANY OF YOU THINK OF STEALING MY NAME FOR THAT!!! I've now copyrighted it by posting it. So hah! My next studio will be called the Dream Kitchen.

I resent the implication I have nothing better to do than dream about kitchens. I may waste too much time on ILX, but this is far more rewarding than fantasising about work surfaces.

andy

Victoria Beckham admits that her children are the most important part of her life
Jennifer Aniston admits that she is very much in love

You should only admit to bad things.

You should only admit to bad things.

I don't get your point here.

Beautiful.

tabernacle
moist
salve

I like "schooled". Do people say that? Well they should.

and i detest the word "irregardless".

yes

"Tragedy" or "tragic" to refer to anything other than a story that fits the classic theatrical tragedy formula.

"serious" when used to mean "large in magnitude"

I think Ronan, mentions it upthread, but "son" as an address at the end of a sentence and "sonned" make my SKIN CRAWL.

i like all of these. except when someone uses "son" without joking and without affection, but 90% of the time i hear it, it's ok. "sonned" is just funny.

"owned" is fine, although it is a bit tired now.

"schooled" is classic.

xpost

BETTERN'T IS NOT A WORD

I'm going to adopt that one now. Over the holidays, I came up with the phrase "might could oughta" as in "We might could oughta order the tapenade". I was drunk, but I still realized it was over the line.

Accidental misuse is cool, but when you get in the lift with some bogan who loudly proclaims 'I'd better get one then, bettern't I?' it takes considerable effort to not remove said bogan's spleen.

I hate the word "squat" when used in reference to illegal housing.

Also any word that ends in "-icky": picky, sticky, colicky, garlicky.

xpost: Oh, and the word "bogan"

harry potter and the bogan's spleen

xpost: Oh, and the word "bogan"

-- kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, 9 January 2008 13:27 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Why?

Sike! I don't even know what that means.

Which country are you in? I can give you a localised equivalent

Ban freedom ducunt.

"legal eagle"

"Israel"

Sorry. I just know I'm going to be annoyed in the next couple of minutes as soon as I hear the word on the news or something.

e.g. just now, Bush arrives in Israel (not annoyed yet), couple of images, talk of (haha) peace, but then, short quote by some woman: "our god given homeland! don't give it to the arab enemy!" (DIE! ALL OF YOU! BOTH SIDES! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!)

I have no idea why this happens, I don't know anyone involved on either side personally.

I'm going to Israel on the 13th. I'll send your regards, Stan.

Natch

Sorry. :-)

:-)

It's nothing personal, I think both sides are right, but the whole situation is just so... Man. Humans. Religion. Politics. *shoulders* Pfff.

The word snarky

-- P.J.Harvey-Nicks (jimjones), Wednesday, September 24, 2003 5:55 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

I just think it sounds like a shark with adenoidal issues.

Or the weird cat/lizard pet thing from Thundercats.

I really hate the word 'lotion,' it disgusts me. I would not use it for years bcz of this. I have realized it is nice to not have horribly dry skin & overcame this but the word is still uncomfortable.

'it is what it is'

The American word "math" annoys me beyond all reason

The problem with the plural "maths" is that it kind of suggests that "math" is a shortening of some singular noun called a "mathematic"

We cut out the middleman -- "mathematics" = "math"

"The". Fuckin' HATE that word. "A" sucks lots too.

"You know wha' else gives me the 'orn? The word 'and'."

"Phwoar yeah, 'and'..."

"Phenomenal" has got to stop. I remember a few years ago when everything every marketing person said included it. I think it's on the wane but I've heard "phenomenal performance" several times this week and I'm getting nervous.

Especially when the "o" is held too long.

née

genteel

how does REDOUBTABLE esentially mean 'not to be doubted'

that missing 's' is annoying me now

These annoy me...

"Tough." as a single word sentence, in the sense of "if they don't like it, tough"
"Useless.", also as a single word sentence.

These words are usually used by people who want to appear to be hard men but are in fact weak cowards. Say what you mean, and say it to my face.

Just as every box of breakfast cereal has its small but measurable share of rodent micro-turds, so too does the English language have its share of irritating words and phrases. This is inherent in its Nature (note the capitalized 'N', lending greater weight and authority to my ex cathedra bafflegab).

If you don't like it, tough.

reconnoiter

honky tonk

comptroller

"impact" as a verb

I personally love "comptroller" and am considering using it in a verbal form.

Perusing the deep thoughts in this thread it would seem that the most annoying words for most people are either recent coinages or else older words forced to do work they were not trained for.

One of these for me is: curate. Lately it has become fashionable to misuse this word. Presumably it sounds far more impressive than such mundane verbs as collect, edit, or present.

coital/coitus

not annoy so much skeeve out a bit. it sounds like how bugs do it or something brrr

I hate the word "tough", as in the sense "if they don't like it, tough". Because it seems to be used by people who want an excuse to be mean and/or act like hardmen.

"spendy" and "unpack"

"unpack"

You mean this in the English lit grad sense, yes? Or does it hurt you to hear tales of people moving?

"extant"

If you guys had yr way with English, the only words left would be "and" and "what".

"shit" - so overused.

Elmo, were you the one getting on me about "extant" recently? I always sort of misuse it when trying to stress that something exists, like "there are actual extant people in the world who do that!"

My annoyances are always more like business jargon, the usual offenders -- "spend" as a noun, for instance

Victorian pornography to thread.

The word "abrogate" is really annoying me right now because I'm reviewing a constitutional law topic where it's used a lot. But it's actually a perfectly good, useful word that means something very precise.

verbified nouns: task being the most recent popular one.

vibrant used in something like the following: "has a vibrant art scene," "located in a vibrant neighborhood" - where it seems like a euphymism for "involves low-income people and people of color"

premier: such-and-such is the premier blah-blah-blah (most of these assertions are either false or highly debatable)

cheers: (as mentioned in the first post) used by Americans (also see "shite" used by Americans)

I hate "unpack" in the grad school way.

Oh, man, I have to admit to liking that "unpack" -- totally overused, sure, but the metaphor seems really useful to me.

First time I heard that was in a PhD class, used by a student. It's almost all I remember about the guy - he once said 'unpack'.

You people are OK with 'cheers' used by Australians right? I say it all the time, inclujding signing off my emails. Now you're making me feel self-conscious.

I actually like "unpack," and will use it instead of "deconstruct," because deconstruct seems to cause more eye-rolling and memories of unpleasant Derrida associations.

people using "begs the question" incorrectly. When someone uses it correctly it really makes me want to weep for joy.
― teeny

OTM

"Deconstruct" has a pretty different spin, too, doesn't it? Or have I been totally missing some of the connotations of "unpack?" It seems like the general use is just to ... take a claim or idea that seems to bundle together or contain lots of internal ideas/assumptions and ... unpack the contents for individual examination.

Australians, Irish, other Europeans - I have no problem with using cheers ... or shite. It's the Americans (excluding Brit/Aussie expats) that do it that bug me, because it's an affectation, the purpose of which, eludes me.

I know a Canadian who says 'cheers'. Is that acceptable? I find it charming, like a Swede saying 'ho'. One that isn't Santa Claus, of course.

It's almost all I remember about the guy - he once said 'unpack'.

Remember the Anglo-Indian T.A. I had who referred to himself as "black" (as mentioned on some race clusterfuck thread)? That's one of two things I remember about him. The other is that he constantly used the phrase "part and parcel."

Also, no discussion of "unpack" and "deconstruct" would be complete without a reference to that old grad-school standby: "problematize."

"Deconstruct" has a pretty different spin, too, doesn't it? Or have I been totally missing some of the connotations of "unpack?" It seems like the general use is just to ... take a claim or idea that seems to bundle together or contain lots of internal ideas/assumptions and ... unpack the contents for individual examination.

That's how I use both deconstruct and unpack. Though deconstruct does carry all the baggage of Derridean deconstruction, that involves abstruse language games, and has connotations of taking apart that claim or idea in a rarefied academic manner. This is why, outside of discussions with people that have a similar background to mine, I will use unpack instead of deconstruct.

Problematize ... that was used in almost every writing assignment in my major (er, concentration ... to use the institution's term) when I was an undergrad.

No wonder you smoke so much.

^^ ha ha ha! Yes, I simultaneously smoke and problematize my smoking. American Spirits allow for five minutes of deconstruction time.

yea "problematize" is great, haha. i have trouble using it seriously anymore after so many undergrad theory papers

"i'm going to problematize the vagina" my college housemate once said, for a paper in feminist phil

yea "problematize" is great, haha. i have trouble using it seriously anymore after so many undergrad theory papers

I actually have this trouble as well. However, "problematic" is one of those words that I can't stop using. It comes in handy in professional communications, and is my diplomatic version of "wrong," "stupid," and or "likely to be fucked up."

I love both problematize and problematic, especially the latter.

I had a lecturer who'd correct anyone who said 'problematic'. He would admonish them that the correct word was 'problemic'. Also: many people say 'methodology' when they mean 'method'.

I had a lecturer who'd correct anyone who said 'problematic'. He would admonish them that the correct word was 'problemic'

Is it, or is it not? Now I'm confused and worried haha!

I use cheers a lot in email sign offs as well. I'm terrible for it.

there ain't no 'problemic' in the o e d.

my mother and my brother both use 'cheers' for signoffs in conversation and email (& brother's girlfriend has started doing it too): i dislike it cos 'cheers', to me, has always meant 'thank you' (or the sound of making a toast), so i immediately think 'wait wait for what am i being thanked?'.

i dislike the word 'brutalised' when it is used to mean 'drunk' e.g. 'oh man i got totally brutalised last night' - I have heard it a few times now, I guess a more extreme version of your usual 'bladdered' or 'wrecked' or and etc, but it always gets me stuck on this loop of 'wait what does 'to brutalize' mean again?'

I know a Canadian who says 'cheers'. Is that acceptable?

as a canadian, without equivocation: no.

ok some equivocation: ive actually started to get used to it, as it's almost the default sign-off where i live now, but it really jarred for a while because it just seemed so forced as some affected demonstration of pretentious faux-british civility. i actually like the word, so it's prob more down to specific people ive met, who i suspect have adopted it recently and who deploy it with a certain sense of self-satisfaction, tho maybe im imagining that. but for a long time it was almost like:

"ok, talk to you later"

"ok, cheers"

"yup...wait what?"

"anyhoo" ... I don't know where it came from. It obviously came from somewhere and trickled down to the general populace. I don't understand why people say this. Maybe this is why I find it annoying.

Sometimes, when someone signs off on an email with "cheers," it looks to me like some kind of stage direction, and I'm like ... it wasn't that great of an email, man

irregardless

(the word, not in reference to xpost)

"anyhoo" ... I don't know where it came from.

I sort of see it as the language equivalent of wearing ties with cartoon characters on. Not saying that the two overlap, just that it seems to be trying to imbue the mundane with gruelling, bleak cheeriness.

Lots of candidates for me - although for the moment all I can think of are the review cliches 'tour de force' (not a single word I know, but the particles don't irritate) and 'magisterial'.

It just annoys the fuck out of me.

The word "blog" to mean "blog post," as in "In my last blog, I mentioned..." or "I'm going to go home and write a blog about it!"

cheers meaning thanks is fine by me because when I'm signing an email/letter, thats what I want it to mean!

ladder of email formality:
cheers/thanks
regards
kind regards

I dont think Ive ever written "yours sincerely" in an email but possibly in a job app one.

This:

"ok, talk to you later"

"ok, cheers"

"yup...wait what?"

Is completely wrong. I'd say "cheers" to the guy at the bottle shop after he hands me my change and drinks, but not as a "goodbye" to someone wtf?

well you could if you considered it a contraction of 'cheerio'

Hmm I suppose so!

hubby

^^^new display name 4 u and i'm srs this time

no i'm HHooHHHooHH-oob

fair enough.

contumely

A phrase, but:

"No room in the inn."

(said to me by a stranger on the subway last week as a number of people tried to get onto the packed car we were on)

A big fat fuck-you to "Cack-handed."

Blame it on Jess Harvell; he made it up.

Nice Jaymcing, Jaymc.

i don't like the word "forefront"

"Snob."

Sounds disgusting, looks disgusting (thanks to associations with "snot"), often used in an annoying way.

Stop saying this, people!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojY1Sj1-E0Q&feature=fvw

"Palimpsest" which is another one of those big-vocab words that people acquire and then overuse and try to steer conversations in directions where it can be dropped. It's like a post-grad stoner word.

I can't see there being a lot of use for that one! Or are they all using it metaphorically?

I've actually noticed artists overusing it as a work title.

Haha, I have used "Palimpsest" as the title of a work!

But I have, you know, a genuine abiding interest in palimpsests! What else would you call them?

I should add that the work in question was quite literally concerned with a surface which had been inscribed upon again and agin over time. You know, like a palimpsest!

Maybe the subject is a little tired rather than the word?

And maybe people should stop using literal titles.

dang dude this is just embarrassing

No it isn't. Just because Spencer says so doesn't mean the whole WORLD has to agree

It is definitely used a lot though, I agree

I should add that the work in question was quite literally concerned with a surface which had been inscribed upon again and agin over time. You know, like a palimpsest!

don't mean to tell you yr work, but i'm pretty sure you were actually looking for 'pimpliest'

http://www.jangalang.com/images/acne-bad.jpg

Adam, you have a special dispensation. It's all copacetic, bra!

"Yup."

Mostly just when drawn out: yuuuup.

A guy at work uses the word "excellent" an obscene amount — but never just once, it's always "EXcellent, EXcellent!", with an accent on the first syllable.

Palimpsest is a great word when deployed well, great in meaning, etc. The "sest" part, and the associations with "incest" just give it a weird feeling.

The recent trend of overusing "extrapolate".

I really hate the word "douche."

Yeah, only douches say douche.

My pet hate is "already" used completely wrongly and arbitrarily at the end of sentences.
"Like, hey, enough with the kitten pictures already..." IT MAKES NO SENSE!

I blame Friends.
― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, September 24, 2003 8:33 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I remember hearing/saying this as far back as the mid-80s. Not as a *thing* but just as the way people talk. I remember b/c my brother thought it was funny to repeat the "already" multiple times. But yeh, saying "Will you get out of my way already!?" or "enough already" seems just normal to me.

yeah, i think it's just a way that people talk - though of course people do emulate popular culture - i wonder if the "already" thing is related to how people in some parts of the midwest say "anymore" sorta arbitrarily at the end of sentences?

I'm trying to think of an example of "anymore" being used that way.... can you provide one?

I don't think I heard that once in the 18 years I lived in the midwest anymore

LOL

^^ it is kinda like that in construction! it's kinda a redundant double negative that comes at the end of sentences - i had a friend from Indiana who talked like that. It was not annoying.

i must have picked up the "anymore" thing in ohio because it seems so normal to me anymore i can't think of an example oh i just did while typing this lol

Ohio and Indiana are definitely their own little world in the midwest; no one in the upper midwest does that

xp - yeah, ok harbl's post is a good example - it is sometimes a redundant double negative, but i think, more precisely, it's just used for emphasis - like "it seems to normal to me anymore" - that's along the lines of what I was thinking

I work with a guy who keeps saying "what we need to do is whiteboard this."

I used to say that, then they took away my whiteboard

;_;

is it just because you're black?

Oh, I get that use of "anymore." I don't think I use it, but it makes sense to me.

xpost to whiteboarder:
He is probably trying to incent you with deliverables coming "down the pipe".

Actually, can we bring up the incessant incorrect use and/or construction of clichéd phrases??

Or is there a malapropism thread?

I used to say that, then they took away my whiteboard

;_;

That is so sad and cute, it makes me giggle.

Afterparty - used too much for things that aren't afterparties

I have an irrational hatred for the terms "hubby" and "wifey".

I use wifey here on the internets but actually I agree it is sort of lame

I should say MY BELOVED SPOUSE instead

Best Beloved Spouse!

I don't know what it is about them but both those terms just irritate me.

They're reductive

For Spencer: http://flavorpill.com/losangeles/events/2010/7/25/tad-beck-palimpsest?utm_source=losangeles&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=issue_389

"preggers" pisses me off

preggers makes me laugh, because it makes me think of "beggin' strips" - dog food - so if someone says that someone is preggers, i imagine they are saying that person is dog food, which makes no sense, so it's funny

every time I hear preggers I picture this guy saying it:

http://www.matadorrecords.com/matablog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/harvey_head_big.jpg

preggers of yore

dave preggers

exculpate grosses me out... sort of suggests onomatopoeia

preggers, prego etc. all bug me too

Prego? Like the spaghetti sauce?

I don't get annoyed by faddy turns of phrase, but this one really winds me up: People who say "Myself" or "Yourself" when "me" or "you" would do. I used to cringe in my old job where this was used liberally to speak to customers: "Is it okay if I send an email to yourself?". It's what thick people do to sound clever - particularly, in my experience, sales people. Fitting that I'm reminded of this by a new work monitoring application at work where you have to click a button that says "Myself" to log in. Argh!!

My friend says he once saw a note in a book at the hotel where he worked where some twit had written, 'Myself and my wife had a great time'.

People like this should be sentenced to a lifetime in prison on an island full of rapist gorillas with massive boots, where they're forced to sell timeshare over the phone for eternity so they can then say "Myself was abused by a rather large gorilla last night. I don't suppose yourself could send over a lifeboat to help me off".

Surely you meant to say "send over a lifeboat to help myself off". ;-)

"Allow myself to introduce... myself..."

meal

folktronica

clonetrooper

I was talking to a kid and his Mum yesterday and asked what he was dressing up as. She said a stormtrooper...and he corrected her & said, no, a *clonetrooper*.
Frakking Lucas and his clownwar bullshit. Grrr.

Dressing up as for Halloween, I meant to say

"individuals" a la cop/politician speak. These individuals those individuals. It's a group. Call them people, folks, nappy-headed hos but please not "individuals."

i must have picked up the "anymore" thing in ohio because it seems so normal to me anymore i can't think of an example oh i just did while typing this lol

People in Dublin stick the expression 'an'(d) anyway' into sentences as meter filler: 'I was up above in the bookies, an' anyway, an' he say to me "put a score on her", so I did, an' anyway'

that would be 'metre filler' of course: not parking change...

"As such" used completely wrongly and arbitrarily at the end of sentences. "We don't have the right paperwork for this project so I can't finish it now and am going out for lunch as such." Co-worker does this all the time. I know it's popular among certain classes in the UK but I live in America so stop it as such. Perhaps "I suck" would sound better. Yes I will try to hear it as that from now on.

"i often see attractive goth/industrial styled girls with nebbishy or otherwise wtf dudes." (from 'Defend the Indefensible: films in which gorgeous, independent, "edgy" women have nothing better to do than break uptight whiny squares out of their bubbles' thread)

I'm bored ever so slightly shitless these days by 'wtf' and other similar look-at-me-i'm-so-jaded bulldust generally, but if it ever hits general use as an adjective, The Terrorists Have Won!

renege

is there a more pretentious word than 'luxe' ?

nice dn

hah! accidently relevant

wysiwyg.

Dumbest non word ever

Condolences

This is a really cumbersome and awkward word to spit at someone in the throes of grief.

It merely means that you share their dolorousness.

gubernatorial

Similarly on the grief front, when people say "vale" when someone's passed away, where the heck did that one get traction from?

aaaagh I HATE vale

it's like those people stand around waiting for someone to die just so they can scream 'VALE' like ocd vultures

My pet hate is "already" used completely wrongly and arbitrarily at the end of sentences.

"Like, hey, enough with the kitten pictures already..." IT MAKES NO SENSE!

I blame Friends.

isn't it a yiddish anglicisation or something? think it dates back much further than Friends anyway. Tend to mentally picture it spelt aWready for some reason too

"First and foremost" (i.e. "Primarily and also at the beginning")

Disorientated. A Britishism, I think, when disoriented is perfectly reasonable.

Simplistic, esp. when misused to mean 'simple'. Bit of a rash of this on the radio lately.

"It is wonderfully simplistic to use." ick ick ick

admitted
opulent
insouciant
shortlist
expounded
paradigm
beats

i think i've used all those words except "paradigm" in the past week

"opulent" is an amazing word

wtf is wrong with "beats"?!

colleague although that is more the concept than the word

i dunno i just don't like the sound of the word beats

what do you suggest people say instead

i also dont like 'explained'.

Oh, no they should probably use all these words - apart from the hated 'admitted' - its not a rational thing

is 'beets' as bad as 'beats' to your strict ear, cherry blossom?

I prefer drums to beats. I'm not sure why I have a things about beats I think its partly this one time when someone was telling me a story about when they took their friend to a moodymann show and she stayed for about a minute and then turned round with a disgusted look and said "beats" in a contemptuous way and I always hear 'beats' that way now, though I don't think I liked it all that much before anyhow

ive never heard anyone talk about beets!

Vale is a new one on me. I looked it up and it's in the OED but not in my collegiate-sized Webster's, so could be more of a British thing. (And pronounced vah-lay for those who don't know).

Of course, the Spanish say vale to mean "that's cool," hence it would be inappropriate to blurt it out at a Spanish funeral.

"to be sure" drives me absolutely bananas when deployed in a written sentence. unless it starts a sentence and we're going on a boss level investigation of terms, then it simply rings as superfluous, messy or at best evocative of a conversation in mrs o'sheas village shop.

insinuate

i swear whenever someone uses this word in an argument, my mind just automatically assumes ur rong

my new boss (and I actually like her a lot in general) keeps saying proactive, and... well actually I think it's awesome

"opulent" is an amazing word

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqeJ2qNIcqg

Vale is a new one on me. I looked it up and it's in the OED but not in my collegiate-sized Webster's, so could be more of a British thing. (And pronounced vah-lay for those who don't know).

huh? "vale" is the Latin word for "goodbye". are Latinisms trendy these days, or am I missing something?

I like opulent a little better now

I've grown to hate the word "actually" as it's used by millennials, i.e. coming at the beginning of the sentence and adding no meaning e.g. "actually could you do this for me"

aw wait, I missed the earlier vale discussion upthread. now I'm kinda hoping that Pelé dies soon so that millions of Brazilians will prostrate themselves in the streets and wail, "vale, Pelé!"

shit, I say "actually" all the time, xpost. but I say it meaningfully in the sense of, "actually you just made a tiny factual error, so please allow me to explain why I'm smarter and better than you."

that works I think — you're making a correction

also it has to be said in the nasal tone of a white girl wearing Ug boots

already
isn't it a yiddish anglicisation or something?

This would make a lot of sense! I've been learning German and translating spoken German seems to involve removing the word "schon" from pretty much every other sentence

(and translating my sentences would involve removing the words "pretty much" from pretty much every other sentence)

also guilty of the "actually" thing as a signifier of feigned spontaneity - like, "oh hey, I just ~happened~ to think of this thing you could do just there now", because that somehow seems less rude and demanding than just telling someone to do something

phrase not a word, but "in a sense"
can't wait to graduate

Spoken German should be your worst problem already!

i often read "actually" as the articulation of a change of mind. it gets used as an oppositional word, for use in corrections, suggestions and asks.
my favourite deployment comes in the form of a strained, hysterical validation of fact. "i'm actually starving" "you're actually annoying me now". it should carry the same hellish annoyance of "literally", but for some reason i just love it.

lol i had been assuming that "vale" was as in "vale of tears"

My basic college Latin makes me want to start "vale" with a W.

Words don't annoy me NEARLY as much as usages. "Simplistic" is a perfectly good word with a perfectly useful meaning. Substituting it for "simple" is where it all goes wrong.

I'm with cherry blossom on "Beats". Awful word, unless its used to describe, literally, plural instances of a beat. People describing any form of instrumental dance music as "beats", (i.e. "what are you listening to?" "oh, just beats" - or worse "dope beats") has ruined it for me.

Also, being in serious writing mode right now, my hatred of, but inability to avoid using, "indeed" has flared up.

inbeats

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3155/2742334151_3223f216f4.jpg

"what are you listening to?" "oh, just beats"

ha, speaking of which:

http://i54.tinypic.com/154kgo7.png

obv he gets a pass because he's Carl fucking Craig

ok, serious laughs at "what are you listening to?" "oh, just beats"

I mean, the kerouac picture.

preggers, preggers, preggers

Ha. I once formed what, for me, would be the most annoying sentence ever. It was something to the effect of: "Hubbers got his wifey preggers with a stinky baby".

Just typing that makes me want to go wash my hands.

ew

xp - what about "hubster"?

Dope as in it's very cool. I wish dope still only meant heroin.

I like this usage of dope, 1. a varnish applied to the fabric surface of model aircraft to strengthen them and keep them airtight.
-a thick liquid used as a lubricant.

I think it's probably the fumes from that usage that led to the druggy one!

I mean airplane glue, that's like synonymous with huffing, isn't it?

Ha! I never really thought you could get high from glue, just a headache? My grandmother has told me for many years, "As long are you aren't smoking that Dope!" I have no idea if she differentiates between any drugs in her mind, I think it's all just dope.

Yes, "dope" has bothered me for years. If nothing else it feel very dated at this point.

(see above post about "dope beats". Also see other usages of "dopeness".)

I don't know about high, but I do love the smell of solvents. I think part of the feeling you're supposed to get from them is simple oxygen deprivation?? Which somehow sounds more stupid and dangerous than all the other really dangerous drugs out there.

story about when they took their friend to a moodymann show and she stayed for about a minute and then turned round with a disgusted look and said "beats" in a contemptuous way and I always hear 'beats' that way now

ha ha im with you on this. there are exceptions but 'beats' is mostly used by the music-as-art types of the dance world and urrgh

many many americaniSations fuck me off, but there's a special place in my gut for broil. such an ugly and part-confusing word, makes me think of boiling an old grey gran bra in a big pot with some overdone brocolli, and you stick your food in that - that's broiling.

"Hey Abe, I've invented a new way of cooking."
"What, is it like submerging a piece of food in boiling water?"
"No no, nothing like that, this involves external heat from above."
"Oh ok, nothing like boiling then?"
"Nope, nothing like that. What shall we call this technique?"
"Hmm, how's about BROIL, that won't be confusing at all."
"WINNER"

It's like saying I'm going for a WRALK when I'm actually going hangliding.

@JacobSaunders & Laurel - you can definitely get high off of certain types of strong glue, for example the stuff they use to put rearview mirrors back on cars in auto body shops. It's definitely stupid and dangerous.

"many many americaniSations fuck me off"

Yeah, man-we're not too happy about your perversions of the language either, i dont care that you invented it. Go stick that lorry up your ass.

^ irony

tee hee

FLAVORFUL

Reminds me of this: http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-grandmother-tries-indian-food,2472/
but it annoyed me even before that.

definitely, that and 'cooked to perfection'. who judges perfection? you? YOUR magical lofty tastebuds? get to fuck

Etymology of "broil"

From Middle English broillen, brulen (“to broil, cook”), from Anglo-Norman bruiller, broiller (“to broil, roast”) and Old French brusler, bruller (“to broil, roast, char”), a blend of Old French bruir (“to burn”), of Germanic origin; and Old French usler (“to scorch”), from Latin ustulāre (“to scorch”).

"galore"

galoshes
panties
smorgasbord
cum

xpost aha so it was our fault after all! yup us guys came up with right shite back then, "ben borenn i þiss middellærd" and all that.. surely only a nation of numbnuts would hear that sort of tat and think 'ooh nice, lets keep this one'!

obvious i know, but any true list of annoying words wouldn't be complete without:

eggplant
zucchini
'erbs

'ERBS

punishable by death imo

what's the reasoning behind dropping that H? i understand herb is a more common guy's name in america but jimmy doesn't seem to have a problem with it, what's herbs big problem

some people like to grow 'erbs indoors.

haw

The English like to Anglicize words, so they added the "h" sound back into it after borrowing it from the French. See also: fillet. Talk about an obnoxious word: "fillet" as pronounced by the English is grating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn9Wcy88Np4

'webinar'

'wankinar' morelike

christ, I've taken so many webinars in the last two years that it dowsn't even phase me anymore. I need a new job.

Any corporation that brags about its "core competencies" is always incompetent. If they weren't so boneheadedly incompetent, they'd speak of their "strengths", not something as ingratiating and obfuscating as "core competencies".

The English like to Anglicize words, so they added the "h" sound back into it after borrowing it from the French. See also: fillet. Talk about an obnoxious word: "fillet" as pronounced by the English is grating.

― nobody wants my Diva Cup ;_; (Jesse), Friday, 1 April 2011 01:29 (14 hours ago) Bookmark

Wait, what? As in US = "feelay" and UK = "fill it"?

filet = fil-LAY

fillet = FILL-it

two different words, ain't they?

I can't bear it when wiseacres pronounce "restaurant" without sounding the "t" on the end.

Oh we've done this we've done this!!

Err nothing was actually decided, I don't think, except that the English hate the French.

SOmeone like Stephen Fry would say "restauran" and it just stinks of pretentiousness: "It's a French word, don't you know?". Yes, I'm aware of this but we've been using this word for a very long time indeed and I think we're at a point where we can start pronouncing it as spelled.

Gordon Ramsay's seemingly unique pronunciation of the word "restaurant" is seriously one of the most irritating things on British television.

filet = fil-LAY

fillet = FILL-it

two different words, ain't they?

Not necessarily.

filet (ˈfɪlɪt, ˈfɪleɪ, French filɛ)

— n fillet fillet a variant spelling of fillet

Anyway, yes, in the U.S. it's fi-LAY mignon and McDonald's serves Fi-LAY O' Fish.

When I was a waiter, the English and Australian guests said "FILL-et" (or FILL-it, not sure which). (And b/c the filet mignon was listed on the menus as only "Filet," they sometimes asked "Filet of what?"

I'd say fi-LAY mignon, but fill-it o'fish.

for the same reason i don't go round asking mcdonalds staff for filay au poisson.

oh okay i was thinking of fillet as in:

2. a narrow band of ribbon or the like worn around the head, usually as an ornament; headband.

this usage is always pronounced 'FILL-et' afaik

Firefox doesn't thinks it should always be spelled "fillet."

But then again, Firefox alerts me that "women's" is a typo, too.

Yeah it hates "women's" and "children's".

what about 'it's a steep learning curve' to describe a task that is hard to pick up? Now, if time is on the Y axis and competence is on the X-axis, as is the convention, then a steep curve indicates a job that is picked up very quickly. It's a _shallow_ curve that indicates difficulty. Perhaps people have the mental picture of a steep curve being hard to climb.

friend of mine had this to say: steep learning curve - nothing to do with time, all about the amount you get better at something (x) compared to the amount of effort required (y).

yes.

dog latin when referring to the large down-filled bed covering do you say "DOO-vett"?

when you catch a fish do you fillet it? (fill it it)

she was only the fishmonger's daughter but she lay on the slab and said fillet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bJOIqVAD-s

fingers

I am struggling to make some sort of filet of fish commercial + casiotone for the painfully alone joke right now

Fish Filet for the Culturally Delayed

swag

derring-do

People don't say derring-do enough IMO.

actioned (this is the first time i have seen this "word")

context: your unsubscribe request has been received and will be actioned.

"stunned"

whenever something mildly unexpected happens in sport, politics &c the person or persons on the receiving end are always said to be "stunned".

similarly "floored"

'extravaganza'
'bonanza'

ugh

and er

'mentalist', as in a nutty, crazy person.

also when people use 'depressive' as an adjective. stfu. 'depressing' is obviously right.

'blogosphere'

come on really what the fuck

utilize

and any word with the same letter in more than about 4 times. i cant think of an example right now. but yeah.

I think I will try to popularize the term "protes" for proteins.

― fletrejet, Wednesday, September 24, 2003 12:36 PM (7 years ago)

So happy this never materialized.

ouster

idk what I was thinking choosing to intern at a middle school when, for 15 years straight, my least favorite word has been and still is
appropriate
Sometimes it's the right word to use but so many of the times it's not
and I have caught the disease
I just flung it out there in a way that wasn't appropriate
you guys really don't know the complex web of hatred I have for this word
even though sometimes it is the right word

lather. rinse. repeat.

today is a good day for me and crippling long-term hatred!

"amusing" -- almost always used in an arch, self-aware way. ugh.
"arguably" -- rarely actually needed in a sentence.
"old school" -- should never be applied to anything that is not old hip-hop.

transmittal

I think I'm guilty of nearly all three of J.D's.

I want to murder people who use the word "timely" as an adverb ("submit the application timely"), even though I know it's grammatically correct. it seems to be a favorite usage of bureaucratic assholes who will punish you for untimeliness, so maybe it's tainted by association. on the other hand, the clunky phrase "in a timely manner" (in which "timely" is an adjective) doesn't enrage me much at all.

I thought maybe I hated all words that had an -ly ending in both their adjectival and adverbial forms, but words like "weekly" and "daily" and "early" don't seem to bother me, so "timely" must be uniquely evil.

i hate that use of "timely" too! the same people i've heard use "timely" like that also said "verbage" (to mean "legal language").

former english majors with depressive disorders should not go into dilbert/office space type careers.

haw

on further thought, it seems like people use the adverb "timely" for brevity's sake to avoid the wordy construction "in a timely manner". but for some reason it doesn't occur to these people that they can use similarly brief (and far less irritating) alternatives like "on time" and "early" and "promptly". I guess assholes who edit themselves for brevity and plain speech are still assholes.

verbage/verbiage is absolutely vile, I agree.

(but "verbose" is alright)

One thing that has been getting on my nerves lately is "journey" as used by reality show contestants "it's been an amazing journey and I just don't want it to end" and otherwise intelligent documentary presenters talking to camera at the end of the film: "I've been a journey and have discovered..."

I'v e been *on* a journey, I mean.

'anyways'

stateside

magisterial.

^ I'm guessing that poor word has been badly overworked lately on BBC.

very possibly, but it's more the frequent use in book reviews and then blurbs that causes me to go IA in bookshops or other bookish places. wild eyes. handwaving. raised voice. concerned confused looks from companions. angry asseverations it's to do with a lubberly fear of masterly/masterful pedantry.

i see now from whence you arrived and you have my full sympathy.

thanks, A. not sure it is actually used out of the masterly/masterful fear, but I can't understand why ever else you'd use it. how can magisterial possibly be an appealing quality in a book, unless maybe its a historical/genre survey or other secondary text? (don't have a problem with these types of books, but they're the only groups I can imagine the word magisterial being a recommendation.)

but generally it just annoys me.

blurb writers seems to think 'magisterial' is a useful word to convey the idea that they were favorably impressed, while also showing off their vocabulary. when it turns out the book is not magisterial in any sense, you come to understand that their vocabulary is rather smaller than they thought it was.

http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/08/literally-everyone-is-lying.html

"Literally," I'm okay--I use it every now and again. "Actually" I use too often. My Achilles Heel is "just." I use "just" (when writing) like a teenager uses "like."

noise. noise annoys.

grok
parse
truthsquadding
wonk
spa
soups
mouthfeel

mouthfeel

iconic

activate

pecadillo

totes
simpatico (in Gringo usage)

Heard these both tonight in the course of a conversation and wanted to get up and leave.

females

moisturize

One of my sisters hates the word "tender" because her 3rd grade teacher privately admitted to her that she had a mole in "one of her more tender areas" after seeing a mole on my sister.

what about some love for the old legal tender?

That one, so soon after telling my sister's story, made me cringe as well.

"lil'" as an abbreviation for little. I have no problem with this as a rapper prefix, but in the vernacular it annoys the shit out of me.

"Bodied"

"prior to"

"undeniably"

More like a phrase than a word. I can't stand documentaries/pieces of a journalism that start with voiceovers or ledes along the lines of

"I'm on a journey to discover..."

or "This is a story about..."

I blame Adam Curtis.

"I want to say..."

... when asked a question where you are unsure or thinking of the answer, an Americanism I sincerely hope never takes off in the UK

Oh, I do that a lot. My accent changes when I do it too, I start inflecting all wrong. I really must train myself out of this. I have no idea where I've picked it up from.

Scary

Actually, I've just realised I picked it up off a pal of mine, I can actually hear his voice in my head saying it right now as I'm thinking about this and it would appear that I mimic the way he does it.

never occurred to me that that is or might be an Americanism tbh

I do it quite often tb even more h

i'm all for imprecision in speech, the world seems pretty imprecise

"REPPING" for shit

i will always rep for shit, it's how i get rid of unnecessary waste products in my digestive tract

don't know that i've ever heard anybody say "I want to say..." Are you guys sure this isn't from South Africa or New Zealand or something?

don't know that i've ever heard anybody say "I want to say..." Are you guys sure this isn't from South Africa or New Zealand or something?

here's an example of when this phrase might be uttered:

"Ever since Bono was gunned down in a West Hollywood brothel, I've been feeling an unusual sense of well-being."
"Wait-- Bono's dead? When did this happen?"
"Hm... I wanna say, like, 2 weeks ago...?"

oh, ok! in terms of estimation! that makes total sense. I was reading it like "I have something that I really want to say."

I wanna say that he died two weeks ago, but I lack the precise information or specific expertise required to guarantee that number.

"oh is that what you mean? what a convenient way to say something. you americans sure are innovative. swooon..."

"proctored"

"skinny" and "naked" when applied to food

http://www.readthesmiths.com/articles/Images/Entertainment/Banned/nakedlunch.jpg

that's fine but i'm never going to actually ask for a "naked burrito" or a "skinny sandwich" by name even if that is what i'm ordering

automagically. ick.

automagically is a perfectly presentable word, if it is being used by Billy in Family Circle.

"obviously" peppered liberally into sentences where nothing described is at all obvious.
A weird twist on this: I encountered a guy who has changed it up to "ironically" - he kept saying "ironically" about twice per sentence and there was no irony whatsoever! I mean maybe THAT'S ironical idk

I find myself using obviously a lot as a crutch and I hate it, obviously

motobecane

i like it; it makes me think of french people in the 80s

bangarang

what are you even skillex person

so tired of "piece" -- the assessment piece, the evaluation piece, the blablabla piece the piece the piece the piece

piece of what?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4FF6MpcsRw

that's a v impt piece

redditors

look people, we don't need to BOIL THE OCEAN, we just need a DEEP DIVE into ACTIONABILITY and OPERATIONALIZATION of our STRATEGIC OBJECTIVES

tisane

it's time to leave France and return to an Anglophone country

gifted
thrifted

both as a verb an as an adj in the past participle

How is 'thrifted' used as an adjective?

i used to be thnow white but i thrifted

dammit, so close

long day

example: "ugh this thrifted jumpsuit really grabs at my crotch; the one i got at urban outfitters fits better"

colorway

how can u be annoyed by words u made up

lol

I wish.

the overuse of the following has been irritating the fuck out of me lately

"phenomenal"
"huge"
"brutal"

my job involves a lot of big law fuckwits

"sammich"

penalized

doesn't the word "earthquake" seem a little cartoonish or dramatic

most earthquakes are a bit cartoonish, in that all you feel is a bit of a shiver. the big ones are, of course, not so cartoonish

earthquakes are not cartoonish
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpUJ6yCURzM

quintessential is not a bad word at all, essentially, but in practise it seems to mostly be poorly used

shd be reserved for alchemists

The word "brave" used to describe anything involving publishing a blog post, listicle, Instagram photo, etc assuming you don't live in a repressive regime.

'perfectly', as used in clickbaity articles that 'perfectly sum-up the world today'

Guys at the office who still think it's okay to call female colleagues "adorable"

Just the word "adorable"

it feels completely disgusting to be called adorable so thanks for the support!
i mean that.

people using "begs the question" incorrectly. When someone uses it correctly it really makes me want to weep for joy.

I've been thinking about this. I'm genuinely curious how many instances there are of someone using this expression 'correctly' outside the context of philosophy academia - unless it is just for the sake of 'correcting' the 'incorrect' usage. When I Google "beg the question", the first five pages of results consist entirely of either definitions or people discussing what the correct usage should be. It is only on the sixth page that I come across someone using the expression to describe a fallacious argument - and this is in a scholarly article in Informal Logic. Are there many actual instances of e.g. an opposition MP saying "the Honourable Minister begs the question when he argues for increased military intervention on the grounds that the Middle East has been growing more unstable since our involvement began"? For comparison, I can find several examples of "strawman". In any situation I can think of where one might use "beg the question" 'properly', it seems like it might be clearer and simpler to just say "you are assuming x without proving it".

it seems like it might be clearer and simpler

I'd say it not just "might be", but it would be.