Whats the unsexiest upfront proposition you've received or used to pull someone.

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So as a companion piece to the other thread there, whats the lamest thing you've done or had someone do to you to get in the sack.

In college when I was heavily into Sunny Day Real Estate I was at a party one night and wrote some lyrics from their album on a piece of paper and handed them to a girl I was talking too. She thought it was an orignal poem. We fucked.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I was working at Rhodes Furniture and was selling a mattress but informed the female customer that she could receive a special 200 dollar discount if she took me home with it.

ok, so I didn't, nor did I ever work there, but I don't have any stories

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i have no stories, but i am curious as to which song you owe the fucking to

― chrisco (chrisco), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

luna, tell them about mr. uncircumcised.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i once went up to a girl and said, "can i get your number so i can come lick your cunt sometime?" she had the most beautiful forearms i have ever seen. i was too drunk to work my phone properly so i lost her number which she had given me with enthusiasm.

― matthew james (matthew james), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Taking Sides: Britney Spears vs Gomez"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

matthew is my new god

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I just started talking music geekery to a girl once at a bar and then a friend of mine's rat was walking across my shoulders, so I allowed the rat to bridge across to her shoulder (without warning here), and she was enamored...(eventually, we'd... you know.)

(this is not counting a lot of internet propositions that succeeded that would certainly count as worse than anything in real life, but that's a whole 'nother thread)

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

getting woken up at six in the morning by a guy I vaguely knew in high school phoning to ask if my dick was hard.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Was it?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, having been a college radio DJ during a midnight-plus slot, it's a rite of passage to get your requisite obscene phone calls. If only I had the wit then to continue the conversation.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

'fraid not. the funniest thing was that it was my roommate who originally answered the phone.

"hello?"
"is your dick hard?"
"what? who is this?"
"uhh...is this Anthony?"
"no. Anthony, it's for you."

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but I'd get that type of call from several friends down in Orange County all the time, in jest... (or so I thought)

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a hard time believing this person I hadn't spoken to since graduation would call me up at six in the morning during my freshman year in college to ask to suck my dick IN JEST. It doesn't really put the humiliation over on the phonee.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

His or yours?

"Hold on caller, I'm putting you through..."
"If you wish to leave a message, press 1. If you need to talk to an advisor, press 2. If you are offering to..

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 6 May 2004 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has reminded me of this and this and this and this.

Hooray!

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 6 May 2004 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Me: "So, I guess this is the time when I ask you to come up to my place and look at my record collection."
Guy: "Yeah ok."

― Hanna (Hanna), Thursday, 6 May 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

yesterday, (more or less or at least to my memory, i think bits of the conversation may be missing)

me to girl sitting next to me: can i get your number?
girl looks at me: why?
i paused, i thought it be obvious, so i could call her, i looked down then looked at her: can i give you cunnilingus?
girl:now?
me:ok
her:ok

me:)

then - confused

come with me

still confused, everything at that time indicated id get rejected, being drunk in the early-ish morning and propositioning a random girl who must have been sumwhat intelligent because she was reading a book.

im so happy

― yeo, Thursday, 6 May 2004 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

where are you from, weirdsville? what are the house prices like?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Me: Are you up for it?
Her: Might be.

Rock on!

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

yeo, where were you when this happened? an early morning library? the bus stop? tramporama?

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"wow, i REALLY need a shag, i think"

me: "mm hmm" *stirs drink*

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Horrifyingly Haggard Sketch Girl: "If either of you guys can spell my name right I'll give you head."

Me: "Uh, C-E-L-I-N-E?"

Her: "Nope!"

Friend Of Mine: "S-A-L-E-E-N?"

Her: "Wrong! It's S-A-H-L-I-N-E. Nobody ever gets it! But you [friend of mine] were closest so...."

Friend Of Mine [terrified]: "No no I got it wrong, it wouldn't be right...."

― LC, Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:25 (twenty-one years ago)

S-A-L-I-N-E: mmmm salty.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

im in and around london atm, um, it was near a bus station, but not waiting for the bus.

xpost

― yeo, Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

what a guess!

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah, i remember that the bits of convo thats missing must have shown some kind of wit bacause there was (positive) laughter and flirtation on her side, wich possibly gave me the drunken courage to be so forward.

― yeo, Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i've already told the story of how i pulled my ex: 'are you gay?'

it worked. which is scary.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

'are you gay?'

lol I've been pulled this way more than once...I must say I found it kinda sexy. Hmmm. Wrong thread perhaps.

Me: "I'd you to come home with me"
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Cos I want to take all your clothes off and bury my head between your legs"
Her: "..."

She came home with me, depite my oddly crippling politeness.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 6 May 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh and the Sunny Day Real Estate song I used was "47":

swallow whole lose myself in you take a chance with me poured out with wine chance to run away take abreath the same sign hair of gold swims through caught in my mind painted picture prize jewels on a crown poisoned wine i fall to the floor caught a glimpse of the truth.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think i've ever been asked if i'm gay, apart from by burly straight and somewhat mean geezers in the pub, but there was no way i was going home with any of them

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been asked if i was gay twice. i found it kinda irritating because i'm one of the most unkempt looking people i know

― the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsound), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

heh, i think that's the only reason i've not been asked

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

He told me he knew Graham Coxon. THE SHAME.

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I've used poetry too to make an impression on a few girls, but at least I'd written the poems myself. It never worked, though. I have gotten the attention of a couple of girls because of my poetry, but that was purely unintentional. Also, I find such attention kinda awkward. When someone comes to me and says "Your poems really touched me!", I'm just like "Umm, okay... That's nice." What can you say in a situation like that?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"That's important"

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

You can say "I VANT TO SAHK YOUR BLAHD" and then shriek.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"As you probably know, I've slept with your other two flatmates over the past few years and I think you should let me make up the set."

It didn't work. In the slightest.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

poor matt. narrowly avoided getting a commemorative plate or trophy or something.

you'd think she'd at least make out with you out of sympathy for the crap line, though!

(why is it that every time i read a tracer post today, i can't stop giggling?)

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

lamest I've used "trust me it won't take longer than 15 minutes"

I am too embarassed by the, admittedly, few lame ones used on me to relate them. I feel it reflects badly on me that people thought they might work.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm writing a novel."

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 6 May 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a couple of good ones people have used on me, my two most hideous being

"Have you ever produced milk"

and "Can I stay at your house tonight or I'll have to check into the mental motal"

I hate to think how this reflects on me

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

A drunk woman in a pub asked me if I'd fuck her. This went on for quite a bit, and then she grabbed me between the legs, I'm not sure whether that was to see if I was hard or how big I was or just because she felt lustful. She was attractive but too far gone. For once in my life I felt a certain empathy for women who get hassled by drunken blokes in pubs.

― Baravelli. (Jake Proudlock), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, so this didn't happen to me, but it happened to my coworker last year on mother's day. This guy comes up to her and says, "hey, happy mother's day." She looks at him and says, "Um, I'm not a mother." He says "oh....wanna go out?" Totally romantic!

― stolenbus (stolenbus), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Me: "I think you should pull me. For sympathy."

Her: "It's not sympathy."

Cue pulling.

PS. What's really messed up is that when I end up telling people I don't know well that I'm not getting any, they ask me if I'm gay. WTF?

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Obviously, next time I tell a strange girl I'm not getting any, I should immediately use the "pull me for sympathy" line.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

You should get a sticker or a t-shirt which says "pull me for sympathy" and dress up as a teddy.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

if only he could arrange for his penis to he dangling from a hole in the back of his suit.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Me: kegstand, accidentally kick out kitchen window with steeltoe boot mid-kegstand, topple back upright, continue toppling, fall down stairs, laying on floor, look up and this girl I don't like who has a big fat moustache and likes me is standing over me saying: "are you ready to fuck me now?". Me, lying on floor, bruised and drunk: "ha ha you look like Super Mario Brothers". We didn't fuck.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you 2 go to uni with me?!

The lines about me being a teddy and having a long cock were too close to home.

x-post

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't mean anything about length.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

no need to be short

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

How else to arrange for one's cock to be dangling from a hole in the back of one's suit?

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

No Dirk Diggler replies, plz, ok, thx.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Wear the suit back-to-front

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Cut your dick off and glue it to your ass.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

congrats

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 6 May 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I've used poetry too to make an impression on a few girls, but at least I'd written the poems myself. It never worked, though. I have gotten the attention of a couple of girls because of my poetry, but that was purely unintentional. Also, I find such attention kinda awkward. When someone comes to me and says "Your poems really touched me!", I'm just like "Umm, okay... That's nice." What can you say in a situation like that?

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), May 6th, 2004 7:22 AM. (Tuomas) (later)

c'mon tuomas, be creative.. say "now i will touch you in a literal sense *cue mad fucking*

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

You should get a sticker or a t-shirt which says "pull me for sympathy" and dress up as a teddy.

or maybe dress up as a finger.

(sorry)

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

A received unsexy proposition:

Attractive blonde: "My friend's 20 tonight and she's pulling 20 blokes to celebrate. Will you come meet her and be no. 17?"

Me: Sure (thinking: Only if she looks like you).

Sadly, she didn't. I hadn't even finished saying "Happy Birthday but no thanks" when she was all over me for 10 seconds. I didn't even get to remove my chewing gum.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

well, my last girlfriend was drunk at a cast party and kept calling for me to join her in the hottub, the week before we actually hooked up. I thought she was just loaded, and besides, Sunday Night football, Fins vs. Broncos was on, and you can't make me budge during that!

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, college parties...

X: "You look so hot I want to do you in the ass."
Me: *laughs hysterically*

(there was no ass-doing to be had)

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

A friend to a girl 7 years ago: "I'm pissed, you're pissed, so let's get off."

She wasn't pissed. Or impressed.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Her: "You have a really untrustworthy face."

Actually, that is quite (British sense) sexy.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Thursday, 6 May 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, you cheeky brits

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 6 May 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Michael, that girl sure sounds familiar.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a girl come up to me at a bar a long time ago while "I Wanna Be Adored" was playing on the radio and whisper to me the very end of the song "you adore me, you adore me, I wanna be adored." Actually at the time I remember it was quite sexy.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 6 May 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

As a teen my friends and I used to goad one another to approach girls with lame chat-up lines. Psychological insurance, if you got turned down you could blame the terrible line. I've forgotten most of them but one I do remember (which worked on at least one occasion) went like this:

Me: are you with someone?
Girl: no
Me: you are now!

Makes me cringe even now.

But the chat-up line that sticks in my memory wasn't even meant to be one. I was chatting to a really beautiful girl I thought I had no chance with, partly because I thought she was completely besotted by a very good-looking minor celeb she had a stormy on-off relationship with. And partly because she like an even more beautiful version of a young Diana Rigg and girls who look like that don't have sex with mortals.

Me: Are you still seeing [X]?
Beautiful girl: yes
Me (obviously joking): I suppose that means a shag is completely out of the question?
Beautiful girl (smiling but obviously taking my question semi-seriously): no, not completely.

― Hidayglo, Thursday, 6 May 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

friend of a friend: "fancy a shag?"
girl: "no."
friend of a friend: "how about your mate?"

― matthew james (matthew james), Thursday, 6 May 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

kenneth: "ooh you have a disused bike? can i come round to see if i can turn it into a unicycle?"
girl: "sure"
kenneth: "get in"

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Interestingly enough, Chris, Sunny Day Real Estate played a part in a proposition a girl gave to me... we chatted for hours while listening to their third album, which she put on. Then we watched the second Austin Powers movie. and then...

me: that was funny!
she: yeah
she: *pause*
she: *incredibly forceful makeout and what followed, etc.*

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Come to think of it, ALL of my propositions that I've given or received were all quite unsexy. Maybe that's part of the charm?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd gone to lunch with a woman--we had a mutual-fancying thing going on, but she was hesitant to act on it, so I was like, OK, fine, we'll just be friends. we had a pretty high comfort level physically, though, and after lunch decided to take a nap together at her place. (yes, I know it's obvious, but I really didn't expect anything to happen.) there we lay, silent for a few minutes.

her: What are you thinking about right now?
me: My sisters, actually. They're teenagers, and [specifics I can't recall at the moment, but I had recently talked to them on the phone and I think I was concerned about some aspect of their life or school or whatever, not too worried or anything but the point is I'm talking about my little sisters].
[pause]
me: Why, what are you thinking about?
her: This. [begins rubbing up on me]

the sex was great but afterward all I could think was, "She really wasn't paying attention to what I said, was she?" because that's kind of a weird leap, to say the least.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"this show sucks, let's go back to your place."

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah, another time: "I'd fuck you right now but I'm on my period." classy.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"you could grab my dick."

i could do a lot of things, i suppose.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

lauren I really hope you said that

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, i did! it was one of those moments when i blurted out exactly what i was thinking, and what i was thinking happened to be perfect.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

haha that rocks! I take it you did not make the sex with him then.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

(or ever)

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

your assumption is correct. i was actually making out with him at the time in the basement of a bar (pure class) when that gem was uttered. it quickly brought a halt to all activities as i fled up the stairs in disgust.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

See, "i could do a lot of things, i suppose." could also mean the complete opposite, and I was a little surprised that my original comprehension of that sentence turned out to be the flip of what it actually meant. (even though, I could see it meaning either, obviously)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 May 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

although after such a charmer as "you could grab my dick", I suppose there's no other possibility but a witty rejoinder and dismissal.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 May 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

do I get anything for guessing the "downstairs" is of $!63r!@?

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

haha. you get a "nice try. guess again."

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

North Six during NO FUN FEST!?!?!?!?!?!

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

the last time i was at siberia, they had noise shows there. (also: meow mix, is that place still around?) this of course was many moons ago.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

if anyone guesses correctly, i will faint with shock. meow mix is still around, but i don't think they do noise shows.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i made out in the basement of $!63r!@ once!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

North Six during NO FUN FEST!?!?!?!?!?!

No that was me and Joel St. Germain *SWOONS*

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Lit!

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

is there a reason why y'all are google-proofing Siberia?

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Russians be googlin'.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'd rather make out in a Chilean iodine mining complex than make out in the basement of Lit.

Then again, Russ books there now...

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I would make out in my grandma's basement it's been so long since I kissed anyone worthwhile

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

is there a reason why y'all are google-proofing Siberia?

um, because it's fun?

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

it wasn't lit. it's really nowhere that anyone would think of.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha o53r7!n?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

okay that's what i thought. i mean +#0u6#+

xxpost

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

wait what? stence, you not only google-proofed that, you lauren-proofed it!

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, sorry, it was a reference to your alma mater. Can't remember the name of the campus bar (if there was one).

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pretty sure every ILX NYCer has made out in the basement of Siberia. If any of you fess up to being those two people I spotted upstairs having oral sex, though, I will award you $100 immediately.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I almost posted that I'd never actually made out in any NYC club but then I realized I was wrong.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never made out with Matos in any NYC club.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

My little brother used to make out on the floor behind the bar at C0ney I$land Hi. I think he was 16. F0cker.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

The first time I ever made out with anyone was in Lit! The shame, etc.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

hey, me too!

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

What's wrong with you weirdos? The first time I made out with anyone it was in a sleeping bag at summer camp.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Pfft, sleeping bag? I'll stick with bars.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

SOME OF US AREN'T WELL TO DOS THAT GOT SENT TO SUMMER CAMP, YOU BORGEOUSIE SHOW OFF!!!!

kisses!

Anyway everyone knows that your first time making out should be while you're putting on make up on the boy.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

it was a YMCA camp, they had scholarships.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Is "putting on mae up on the boy" a euphemism for smeary lipstick?

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

haha actually maybe that should be my story for most unsexy upfront proposition.

Me: (something inconsequential about whatever cosmetic item I was using on his face at the time)
Him: Yeah, you want me to make out with you huh?
Me: (confused) When did I say that?
Him: (disgusting slobber)

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

The first time I kissed someone was during recess.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Later:

My best friend at time: Maybe when you said MAKE UP he thought you said MAKE OUT?
Me: Then he is quite stupid.
Her: You going to go out with him?
Me: Yeah I guess I have to.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Every day, I thank God that I am not 14 any more.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

You aren't the only one.

― 14 sucked ASS (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't other countries have the system of

Girls friend: Will you kiss *girls name*
13 year old Ronan: Ok.

clumsy union happens.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah but usually those kisses were not like real actual making out. It is like a game of spin the bottle you play when you are in 5th grade at a party, no one actually kisses properly, they get too embarassed and just peck at each other like the other person has some horrible, easily communicable disease just waiting on their lips to be transferred to a new host.

Actually the first time I ever "made out" was when I was very little, because my mom let me and a friend watch Dirty Dancing and we decided to then imitate making out when we played games but this was stopped when we were caught. There weren't even tongues involved though, we had no idea that that was part of the deal!

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh well here those kisses were proper, and led to all sorts of stuff. the discos and things I used to go to from age 13-15 were like Studio 54.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Her: You going to go out with him?
Me: Yeah I guess I have to.

OUCH.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Bianca Jagger was that bored?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh well here those kisses were proper, and led to all sorts of stuff. the discos and things I used to go to from age 13-15 were like Studio 54.

You always struck me as a widely experienced debaucherer, Ro.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

trust me my debauchery is all as a result of a lack of debauchery in that department!

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

What's wrong with you weirdos?

uh, I was kidding?

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Posh school, all boys.

Person: Will you engage in bizzarre naked frustration-sublimation wrestlin' with me, at all?
13 year old Greg: Ok.

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

(This does not describe my first snog, btw)

― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 6 May 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

This is a fine, fine thread to read.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I went out with the make up make out boy for quite some time, off and on, actually, but in reality fancied his friend the whole time. Truly being 14 and 15 was really retarded.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it was insane. i wish i was 14 or 15 again.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm relieved that Greg's post doesn't sound like he went to my school.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Aww, Ally.

Make up make out also sounds like a relationship stage, actually. This phrase should catch on.

I wish I was 14 or 15 again, sometimes, because those days have " this isn't right, do over" written all over them

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I should have propositioned a girl in very unsexy terms back then, for sure.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Make Up, Make Out", the new single by Dizzee Rascal featuring mixes by Scissor Sisters and Swizz Beats!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

JACKPOT JACKPOT

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Xtina feat. Khia - 'Make Up, Make Out, Make Over' (The Answer Track)

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i've had a couple of beers. i kind of want to make out with someone right now (this is more to do with not managing to avert eyes as couple to the front-right of me were doing just this for a good 15 minutes during Fiery Furnaces gig tonight - how did i manage not to yell out 'get a room'? i thought about it on the off chance Fiery Furnaces actually had a song called 'Get A Room' thus double-hilarity).

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

dude I kind of ALWAYS want to make out w/someone but you have to sort of pick yr times because otherwise you turn into the dude from cuddleparty.com.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Recommended Daily Amount Of Safe Making Out?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

There is no such thing as too much.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

there really isn't

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

dude I kind of ALWAYS want to make out w/someone but you have to sort of pick yr times because otherwise you turn into the dude from cuddleparty.com.

dammit matos i just laughed so hard my sesame noodles went down the wrong way.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

countdown to VengaDan's response. x-minus ten, minus nine, minus eight . . .

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

AAARGH

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is both entertaining and depressing to read, thanks to 13+ years of self-loathing on my own part...

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Kingfish, the moral is JUST SAY IT, NO MATTER HOW STUPID.

― Barima (Barima), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

true, the problem is that i just can't get over the hump, no matter how much booze i've consumed or how much i got to, got to, got to get over the hump...

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

just make it the humpty hump and you're golden

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

were it but(t) that easy...

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 May 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

if you're too nervous, just picture them in their underwear.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 6 May 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

just make out with omeone, it worked for me and my man it will work for you. be all like, ok i fancy this girl and shhe is at the bar and drunk, ok time to kiss yher, this only works if she has been payng you decent attention prior hand tho, dencet anntention meetns she likes you at least a little bit otherwise she'd ignore you. thoe the problem is maybe she likes you just as friend but you'll never find out until you try, that is my tmotto, try it because you never know what you miss you until yyougo ahead a nd do it. thhis gets you into trouble often bguut not so much as you'd think. just make out with her, kingfish. i mean she knows you right? go for it, fuck it. worst comes to worst she slaps you, so fucking what you blame the booze and then you pathc up and you never do it again, trust me half my relationships been founded on this prinicpal. whiule most of them were crap would not give any of them up for anything s there yo go.

― allyzay, Friday, 7 May 2004 07:56 (twenty-one years ago)

just make out with her, kingfish. i mean she knows you right? go for it, fuck it. worst comes to worst she slaps you, so fucking what you blame the booze and then you pathc up and you never do it again, trust me half my relationships been founded on this prinicpal.

ally may have been three sheets to the wind when she wrote that, but she's right.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 7 May 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

This is sound advice.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 7 May 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

so fucking what you blame the booze

the latin for this is my family motto.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 7 May 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 7 May 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Ally was at least nine sheets to the wind, surely.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 7 May 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

'are you gay?'
lol I've been pulled this way more than once...I must say I found it kinda sexy.

-- CharlieNo4 (charlie_iven...), May 6th, 2004.

AARRGGHHH!!!!

That's a come on???

WHY DID NOBODY TEL ME?????

― mei (mei), Saturday, 8 May 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Gross guy I had a brief little fling with when I was rebounding approaches me in the literary magazine office.

He wears polyester slacks, short-sleeved chemise and has a mullet that would make Billy Ray Cyrus weep with envy. (I WAS 19 AND REBOUNDING!!!!!)

"Cat," he says, "I would like you to know that if you would ever want to have a threesome, I'd be happy to volunteer."

Pardon? I asked why the hell he was asking me.

"Cause you seem like the kind of girl who'd be into that. So I'm just letting you know that if you want to, let me know."

"So, you want to be the other guy?"

"No no, girls only." Then he ran away.

I never saw him again. The end.

― Catty (Catty), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, and he wore bikini pants because he thought girls found them "sexy."

raise your hand if EW....

― Catty (Catty), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Do any women find that sexy?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know anyone who finds them sexy, girls of guys.

― Catty (Catty), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I just don't understand why they still exist.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

what are bikini pants?

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I would post a pictorial example but I'm at work and am not sure if that would count as porn if I got caught looking for it. It's just...ugh.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

international male catalog to the rescue!
http://www.internationalmale.com/HanoverAssets/intmale/product_images/ae95zz.jpg

― Catty (Catty), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I find that sort of underwear sexier on men than anything else I can think of, and because of this and the fact that my wife really liked them and bought them for me, it's more or less what I normally wear too. I've never had a negative reaction to them, and can think of one unequivocally positive reaction. Are briefs really widely disliked? Should I be wearing shorts instead? (This seems a bit of a moot point given my recent love-life, but you never know, might be relevant again some day...)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, I wouldn't worry about it. Men's underwear generally just isn't sexy. Men's underwear that is [I] supposed [/I] to be sexy is ridiculous.

Anyway, a few months ago I was getting money out of a cashpoint, when a leering drunk in the queue behind me leaned over and looked at the screen. He obviously misread my overdraft facility as my bank balance, and shouted at me "A thousand pounds! You've got a thousand pounds! I always wanted a rich woman, how about it?"

Another time, some horrible sleaze shouted for my phone number from a good hundred yards away, in the pouring rain. I turned around, bewildered. "It's your arse", he explained "it's like a STEP".

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ignore my feeble attempt at html in the first line there.

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Step-like arse, eh?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

What does it even MEAN?

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 8 May 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont know if this fits even remotely , theres this girl i see almost everyday in the mornings, she walks the opposite way to me - i know nothing about her except shes still in high school. recently when she walks past me she starts touching/stroking me (as in my arm or back/ chest..etc, not what it sounds like). i never know exactly how to react to this but shes always gone before i have a chance, im not really sure if im attracted to her but if the chance came up i would. i was going to talk / introduce or something with her but when i looked like i was approaching her she couldnt get away fast enough. what the fuck is she doing? maybe im just really dense or something. if it happens again im just thinking i might just grab her arm, pull her towards me and kiss her, though in the circumstances this happens (crowded, middle of the street) it seems somewhat inappropiette, and could prove embarassing if im reading this all wrong, maybe its just something she does.

― half dread, Saturday, 8 May 2004 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno, I was hoping you might know!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Saturday, 8 May 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

ally may have been three sheets to the wind when she wrote that, but she's right.

Hm, great, now I'm a bit depressed (been a little bit since I last properly made out, see).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 8 May 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Jesus, can a girl not go around touching and stroking strangers in street without it being interpreted as a fucking come-on??

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 8 May 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with you, Cathy, that the stuff designed to be sexy is appalling - posing pouches, see-through pants and the like. I do sort of regret that there is no good way of a man dressing up to please a woman - we men are easy to please, and there are loads of sexy underwear options for women.

I think basic black briefs (I'm not sure mine are quite as small as the bikini ones shown, and I have seen smaller ones) are a perfectly good compromise between ordinary and looking good, and they are comfy too.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 May 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Ridiculously tiny comedy underwear for men = CLASSIC. My wife loves every pair I own (the mosquito-netting bikini briefs in particular went over well). Making yourself look silly = you are sexually vulnerable = GUARANTEED SEXING UNTIL YOUR BACK GIVES OUT

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 8 May 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but that's funny-sexy, which is a little different.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 May 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Martin, are yours like, standard y-fronts or tighty-whities? Because those are ok. Many people get very turned on by the tighty-whitey. Dan Savage devoted an entire webpage/contest to it.
http://www.internationalmale.com/HanoverAssets/intmale/Thumb_images/ac25zz_2.jpg
I had a boyfriend who liked to wear The Sock:
http://www.internationalmale.com/HanoverAssets/intmale/Thumb_images/a275zz.jpg
Buttfloss is wrong for both sexes.
I like Joe Boxers because they're funny and cute. Silk boxers are elegant and are supposed to feel very nice.

― Catty (Catty), Sunday, 9 May 2004 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

it wasn't even as if it was like "hey, your arse is like STEPS" in which case it could have been when they were doing 5, 6, 7, 8 which was classy, and they had nice arse then, but i dunno.

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 9 May 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

step ass... Maybe it's a shelf butt reference. Like he thought hey, a place to put my beer....?

― Catty (Catty), Sunday, 9 May 2004 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

couldn't find a Latin translation but "so fucking what you blame the booze" in Italian is "così scopando che cosa incolpate delle bevande"

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Sunday, 9 May 2004 04:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Catty, mine are not y-fronts but briefs, not unlike the first photo (except I think I wear black ones slightly more often than whites). This is all a bit academic in that it's been a while since anyone has had the opportunity to be turned on or off by my underwear, and I am fully aware that there is nothing I could wear that would make me sexy anyway.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 9 May 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"hey, your arse is like STEPS"

Now I'm humming that to the tune of a Mya song.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 9 May 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I got the "are you gay" thing on friday. Mind you I was wearing ripped jeans, a blazer and a Fonz t-shirt so I guess I deserved it.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 9 May 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

I was talking to someone I half knew, sort of over this girl's shoulder and I thought she was somebody else based on the bit of her I could see. I commented on something the person I thought she was had said earlier on, then her wtf face made me realise I’d got the wrong girl.

“I’m sorry, I mistook you from someone else from behind.”

“You want to take me from behind?”

“No, I thought you were someone else. I could only see part of your face.”

“Oh, okay… do you want to take me from behind though?”

We then had an unnecessarily complex conversation about what she would do if she became Prime Minister, during which she asked me another couple of times before I managed to slip away.

She was quite drunk (but also quite fit).

― aldo, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:14 (seventeen years ago)

but also quite fit

from behind?

― onimo, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:18 (seventeen years ago)

From the front as well.

― aldo, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:19 (seventeen years ago)

That reminds me of this one time me and some other folks were boozing at this friend of mine of mine's flat, and decided to stay overnight there. However, this other person suggested that if the two of us would go to my place instead, I could "do her in the ass". But it was very late and there was no public transport running, and it was almost an hour's walk to where I lived. Moreover, I found such bargaining kinda sad, so I declined. Much later I mentioned this whole episode to her, and she denied she'd said anything like that.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:39 (seventeen years ago)

You fag.

― Mark C, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:41 (seventeen years ago)

What is Finnish for "you can do me in the ass", and could it be confused with any other common saying?

― Mark C, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:43 (seventeen years ago)

"Charlton lost at the weekend, this combined with the failings of the English rugby and F1 prospects has left me moribund. Are you up for some poppage?"

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:44 (seventeen years ago)

And you turned him down, Dom? For shame.

― Mark C, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:45 (seventeen years ago)

I'm one of those picky bitches

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:46 (seventeen years ago)

What is Finnish for "you can do me in the ass", and could it be confused with any other common saying?

No, I don't think so. I wasn't that drunk and she was quite clear in what she was offering. I guess she might've simply forgot the whole thing, and therefore denied it had ever happened.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:49 (seventeen years ago)

you could probably have just bummed her in your friends house.

― ken c, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 12:58 (seventeen years ago)

Some chubby troll woman in London, when the pub was closing, to whom I had just given a cigarette: "Fancy some sex?"

― elmo argonaut, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 13:13 (seventeen years ago)

What is the Finnish for trucker hat?

― aldo, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 13:20 (seventeen years ago)

avoin tavaravaunu hattu

― onimo, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 13:23 (seventeen years ago)

ivu kambaktu mynntunigt ukanvukkmi inteass hätt.

― ken c, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 13:55 (seventeen years ago)

"you'd be cute if you got a haircut."

― s1ocki, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 22:31 (seventeen years ago)

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