LAUGHING! OUT LOUD! 3XC3L510Rz! (now with 17.4% more circular jerkery)

that wouldn't be very bigamy
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 22nd, 2004 11:58 PM.

-- dude0r (dude0...), February 23rd, 2004.

Who knows? It might make a vas deferens.

-- o. nate (syne_wav...), February 23rd, 2004.

maybe he's sting
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 23rd, 2004.

So THAT'S what Sigur Ros are singing.

"Itchy WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL..."

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 22nd, 2004 4:11 PM. (later)

-- luna (luna_cee...) (webmail), February 22nd, 2004. (link)

(I liked how the bit goes 'around' aja, responsibly....)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I dont know. Whatever they did, they brought back Vikings and Hotdogs eventually. Im not sure where on the timeline that is though.
-- Spinktron 2000 (Marylan...), February 22nd, 2004 6:05 AM. (later)

Summarise a Novel in 25 Words

-- mookieproof (ole04...), February 20th, 2004 5:42 PM. (mookieproof) (later)

-- Spinktron 2000 (Marylan...), February 23rd, 2004 4:41 PM. (El Spinktor) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he still looks like yasser arafat.
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), February 23rd, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I initially read that as "yer fat ass."
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 23rd, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She's married to Jon Lovitz.
-- luna (luna_cee...), February 23rd, 2004 3:55 PM. (luna.c)

-- Anna (Fieldingann...), February 23rd, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, that was a really good move.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 23rd, 2004.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 24th, 2004

Answers

(...)

The costitution varies by school, but the costibooks is generally going to be around $300-$500 a semester, depending on what you take. More if they're signed. Costipens won't run you more than a couple bucks if you don't get all froo froo about it.
-- Tep (te...), February 24th, 2004.

This thread is a fine example of why I love ILX.

---------------------------------

What's with all the gay-ass toys?
-- maypang

-----------------------------------

He's like a young Momus!
-- Silly Sailor

*tousles hair*

Tep is a superstar for this quote. OMG. I'm tearing up from hard laughter here. OMG. *breathes deeply to calm down* Thank you.

-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), February 24th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want a bottom like that!
-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), February 23rd, 2004 4:43 AM. (C J)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It would be inconvenient as a purse substitute.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 23rd, 2004 4:44 AM. (nickdastoor)

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this thread has clearly fallen into the hands of the unmeek.
-- Fritz Wollner (fritzwollner5...), February 23rd, 2004 4:44 AM. (Fritz)

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The meek be shopping.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 23rd, 2004 4:45 AM. (nickdastoor)

-- sunjammerr (sunjammer...), February 24th, 2004.
well, Australians are nothing if not drunk Canadians.

-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 24th, 2004.
boimm shakalaka

-- sunjammer@hotmail.com (sunjamme...), February 24th, 2004.
I think I'm wrong about that.

-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 24th, 2004.
No, you are very OTM.

-- Sym (shmuelm4...), February 24th, 2004.

----

who is peter north

-- anthony (anthonyeasto...), February 24th, 2004. (later)

If you Google, he will come.

-- Le Coq (2345...), February 24th, 2004. (later)

---

THE KNIGHT RIDER THEME IS BEST AS IT IS. PERFECTION IN 128 SECONDS.
-- Allyzay (thatsenoughofyou @ wtf.com), February 24th, 2004. (later)

Ultimately the courts will find that civil unions are the same as all-black high schools - separate but equal rarely is. Only equal marriage rights will hold up.

Let's just get this over with an ban marriage altogether.

-- andy (and...), February 24th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"fucking troops"?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), February 24th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 24th, 2004. (later)

-- TOMBOT (wtf @ uh.wtf.uh.wtf.uh.wtf.uh.), February 24th, 2004. (later)

please tell me you put an eyepatch and a penis on it.

-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 24th, 2004. (later)

I want Mel Gibson to be gang raped by Le Tigre.
-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), February 24th, 2004. (later)

---

My hazel eyes are possibly the best part of my body (that isn't my gigantic penis) (which, I'm sad to say, is not hazel).

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 24th, 2004. (later)

That would have been so cool Dan, you could have been the opposite of Martin Gore.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 24th, 2004. (later)

-- TOMBOT (stayinyourhouses @ stayinyoursafelittleholes), February 25th, 2004. (later)

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 20th, 2004.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 25th, 2004. (later)

he's not tho (x-post)

-- stevem (bluesk...), February 25th, 2004. (later)

His videos have always been k-rub.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 25th, 2004. (later)

Nicole I am going to kill you

-- stevem (bluesk...), February 25th, 2004. (later)

-- maypang (pange...), February 24th, 2004.

All I can picture is this cat with a beret on and some bongos.

Kirsten Dunst to Michel Gondry on nudity

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"White people are crazy."
-- Kingfish Beatbox (kingfis...), February 25th, 2004.

(cheap laugh, but still a laugh)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We must never forget.
-- scott seward (skotro...), February 21st, 2004.

Answers
http://movies.yahoo.com/mvc/drv?mid=1808511014
-- scott seward (skotro...), February 21st, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i would have watched them all the way thru but they hurt....
-- scott seward (skotro...), February 22nd, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

REVIVE!!
-- scott seward (skotro...), February 25th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let it die, Scott. It's okay, just let it die...
-- Matt (Mat...), February 25th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.wheatgrass.com/graphic1/aboutpines/hoe.gif
-- stevem (bluesk...), February 25th, 2004 3:35 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

coming soon "Pitchforkpitchforks"
-- Matt (Mat...), February 25th, 2004 3:36 PM. (later)

Quite -- my one snippet was the merest taste of insanity.

Not many people know it, but Payback was supposed to be in Aramaic too.

-- Spinktron 2000 (Marylan...)

The text reads:

"Plus, it's really embarrassing to shoot sexy scenes. In a script I was shooting, Kirsten Dunst's character was written to be topless. She said "I'm sorry, but the only director I will show my breast to will be Pedro Almodóvar, not you." I didn't want her to anyway and she's way more hot in a T-shirt. But still, she hurt my feelings."

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 25th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

though he might have been saying "boo-urns"

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 25th, 2004.

it would be good if they were really fast but only took little steps.
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), February 25th, 2004.

I don't think I get it. They look pretty electroclash to me. The homeless usually look more like they're suffering and less like they're dressed up to go to an electroclash club.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 25th, 2004.

I would murder the Pope with a Jesus dildo for an AC-30.
-- nickalicious (okay_maybe_not_ACTUALL...) (webmail), February 25th, 2004. (later)

The bloodthirsty heathen in me would pay to see that in 3D.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 26th, 2004.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 26th, 2004.

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), February 25th, 2004.

-- Jon Williams in brrrrrrrrrrrRochester! (william...), February 24th, 2004 7:03 PM.

Answers
You're young, you can beat them again in an hour.
-- Tep (te...), February 26th, 2004 8:57 PM. (later)

or how I learned to stop lurking and eat dick fagtogs

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
RONAN, a golf raver
GARETH, a charlton lido
MOMUS, the god of mockery, unfounded criticism and faultfinding
TRACER HAND, a traitor to his homeland

TRACER HAND is sitting in a chair made from hundreds of choice early and mid-nineties R+S vinyl releases. GARETH and RONAN are standing nearby, looking sketchy and holding big glasses of lager. MOMUS is attached to the ceiling via a number of suction cups. Playing in the background is Atmosfear's "Motivation (Dimitri From Paris remix)."

TRACER HAND: It just seems like the argument that if we pay Haggar workers .25/hr to make corduroy jeans in Ciudad Juarez, they'll buy lots of refrigerators and cars and CDs and matchsticks, has seemed, como se dice, BUSHEET MAN.

GARETH: Ah durnt lark Trayrcer's turn!

RONAN: Haha!

GARETH: Rurnan can ah borror yer hepflarsk? What yow gorinnit?

RONAN: Grayrveh.

MOMUS: By the way, your reflection on the lost joys of collectivism touches on something I just wrote in an (otherwise rather prosaic) essay I just posted to the Momus site. Yes, I've been experiencing major nostalgia for the Soviet Union!

Everyone turns into a Sanrio character.

THE END

-- TOMBOT (fanfi...), February 26th, 2004. (later)

hey do you know a band called "architecture in helsinki"? they're from down-under...
-- john navin (jna@a)

yes. not personally. excuse me i just have to shout: ESOJ TO THREAD!
-- mullygrubber (tiny@m)

what does that mean? save me from this freak?
-- john navin (jna@m)

I still laughed.

-- nickalicious (), February 26th, 2004. (later)

Number 1 is "Cat Fancy."

-- Nemo (), February 26th, 2004. (later)

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 26th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A gush of tears, btw.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 26th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poor Dan is now smooth.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 24th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...aka masturbating.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 26th, 2004 10:01 AM. (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i think it happened to the asian dude on 'city guys' once
-- $$ (...), February 26th, 2004.

do you want to play yahoo battleship with me?
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 26th, 2004 1:45 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later) (link) (admin)

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 26th, 2004. (amateurist) (later)

which is what makes her HOTTT

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 26th, 2004. (M Matos) (later)

by that standard matos you should be jacking off to old photos of charles laughton

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 26th, 2004. (amateurist) (later)

My parents hired a "comedy" waiter who served "pork chops" to the rabbi and pretended to be drunk....

-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), February 26th, 2004 11:16 AM. (nordicskilla)

Sure. And what does this mitigate, sonny?:

at long last, an oasis of corny indie fuckitude on ILM. oh wait.

-- MV (snot.on.sleev...), February 26th, 2004. (later)

shut up.

-- $$ (...), February 26th, 2004. (later)

Of course, the ubermitigator is that this is all just a bunch of shmucks typing. No real harm accrues. Pretty sure I'm not going to get a cap popped on
my ass, or whatever you kids call it these days.

-- MV (geeze...), February 26th, 2004. (later)

no really, shut up!

-- $$ (...), February 26th, 2004. (later)

Hi guys, what did I miss?
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 26th, 2004 12:41 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ned started another fight.
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 26th, 2004 12:41 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm sorry i have been plucking all night and have damamged my instrument.
-- mullygrubber (tinydemon...), February 27th, 2004 2:48 PM. (gaz)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We can paint our twangers!
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 27th, 2004 2:50 PM. (colin s barrow)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jane is going to blow mine
-- mullygrubber (tinydemon...), February 27th, 2004 2:52 PM. (gaz)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i've got a big red one!
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 27th, 2004 2:52 PM. (electricsound)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mine is about a metre long and black. I put my fingers all over it and blow.
-- ipsofacto (heyniceti...), February 27th, 2004 2:54 PM. (ipsofacto)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

we heard you back there, banging away
-- mullygrubber (tinydemon...), February 27th, 2004 2:55 PM. (gaz)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!
-- mullygrubber (tinydemon...), February 27th, 2004 2:56 PM. (gaz)

10. I am perfect.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 26th, 2004 3:11 PM.
Does that make Ned Dudley Moore?

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 26th, 2004 3:12 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't wait for the scene when they are drinking Pepsi, eating Doritos, and playing D&D in the basement!
-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), February 26th, 2004 12:29 PM.

-- Old Fart!!! (oldfart_s...), February 27th, 2004.

Actually... I was at a Ryan Adams solo gig in Leicester in Spring 2001, (i.e. before the joke had begun to wear thin, and before he transformed from Sensitive Troubadour to Arrogant Rawk Star) where (roughly speaking) the following exchange happened:
RA: Is everybody enjoying themselves
Crowd: Yes!
Belligerent Wag: No!
RA: Huh? No? Why not?
BW: Cuz I was expecting you to, y'know, rock out.
RA: (sympathetic, crestfallen) Oh, OK...
BW: I thought I was coming to see Bryan Adams!
Crowd: Nervous laughter.
RA: (good natured, amused) That Canadian guy? Oh, I'm sorry. Let's see if I can do one of his... (strums, sings) Look into my eyes, and you can see...um... (pause) everything I do, I do it for...no, I'm sorry, I don't know it.
Crowd: Wild, relieved applause.

And my boyfriend got to see his knob! But that's another story.

-- mike t-diva (mikejl...), February 27th, 2004 2:42 PM. (mike t-diva) (link)

Apparently "Mr D4rn13113 could be the next Conor Oberst, if he tried". (That was a cracking issue of the Metro, up there with Heat on the web footed slebrity day).

-- Sarah (starr...), February 27th, 2004. (later) (link)

Bleek: *depressed, walks over to Just Blaze* Hey man, what you smokin on?
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: Cool, gimme a hit of that. *puffs* You real into music and shit... In your opinion, what does Kanye have that I don't?
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: So you sayin he just got that spark?
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: I don't see it man. I know I rap better than this nigga. I know I'm realer than this nigga. I mean look at this mother fucker. (camera pans up Kanye while Bleek breaks it down) ...$400 designer shoes... some cheap, faded ass jeans.. nigga didn't buy 'em like that. I saw them shits when they were still blue son. And a striped polo that don't match shit in this whole room. This nigga walkin round lookin like a European fag model son.
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: What's that nigga that play the elf on Lord of the Rings?
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: Yeah man, I saw this nigga rockin the same shit on the cover of some magazine, lookin like a bitch. And now this nigga in the same get up. He a disgrace to everything the Roc stood for when I got here. Now he poppin shit like he at the top of the food chain. You feel me?
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: I think I'ma steal on this nigga son, right in his busted ass jaw. I'ma rip this faggot nigga's mouth off and he can make a song about that shit.
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: You right, you right. This ain't the time or the place. I gotta catch this nigga on the humble.
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Bleek: I hate this nigga son. That's my word. If this nigga ever say shit to me, I'ma have him spittin through a casket, you heard? Look, here come that bitch ass nigga right now.
Kanye: *walks up to Bleek and Blaze* what up niggas?
Bleek: Sup
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze
Kanye: I just wanna thank y'all for showin me love tonight.
Bleek: Well you know, it's Roc-A-Fella for life. We family.
Kanye: Exactly
Bleek: Everybody get their lil 15 minutes of fame, no matter what. Enjoy it.
Kanye: Yup... Bleek, you're one hit away! *pats Bleek's shoulder, and walks away laughing*
Bleek: *grinds his teeth and literally turns red*
Just Blaze: Jus Blaaaaaaaze!
Bleek: AYO! EVERYBODY! Listen up! I got a announcement to make!
*everybody stops what they're doing*
Bleek: *surprised everyone listened* .... uh....
*blank stares*
Bleek: Last night, I got in a car acc- a PLANE accident. A plane crash... and I almost died...so I'ma take 50-- 100 Gs of my own money and shoot a video!
*crowd is already back to ignoring him*

Posh Spice: *walks up to Bleek laughing* That was a great story. I don't know how Dame does it...
Bleek: does what?
Posh Spice: Find all this talent. Rappers, producers, now even the waiters are entertainers. *hands Bleek her empty glass and walks off*
Bleek: BITCH! what the FUCK son?!? Aight, I ain't never wearin a suit again.

Cam: *walks up to Bleek* What's goin on fam?
Bleek: Nothin man, just wonderin what the fuck happened to the game.
Cam: I feel you fam. All this faggot shit. It's disgusting.
Bleek: Word... whatchu doin after this?
Cam: Man, I'ma go get my dick sucked by this nigga out back.
Bleek: ........
Cam: Then I probably hit some more of this purple and catch me some Dave Chappelle.
whole crowd: I'M RICK JAMES BITCH!
Bleek: Hol up... you gettin your dick sucked by who?
Cam: This nigga, I forget his name. You want me to ask if he'll hit you off too?
Bleek: Nigga how the fuck you get your dick sucked by a dude?
Cam: Nah fam, don't get it twisted. Ain't no fruity shit goin on over here... not everybody can get away with that shit. But when you the hardest nigga on the block, it's nothin fam. Just like in jail. That don't make you gay, you feel me?
Bleek: Yo... I'ma catch up with you later tho. *walks away*
Cam: Aight man. Ayo--
Bleek: *stops*
Cam: Killa Cam, Purple Haze comin Ca'March 2004.
Bleek: ....we on the same label, why you tellin me that?
Cam: I tell everybody that.

-- William Wiggins (hack-nee...)

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), February 27th, 2004.

I'm forever going to imagine Timmy from south park as Bleek now.

The sign in front of the Lovingway United Pentecostal Church was put up on Wednesday, the same day the controversial movie "The Passion of the Christ" opened in cinemas across the United States.

Jewish groups have said the film, produced and directed by actor Mel Gibson (news), blames the crucifixion of Jesus on Jews. They fear the movie will spark anti-Semitism.

The 73-year-old pastor of the Denver church, Maurice Gordon, defended the sign and said it was aimed at encouraging people to read the Bible.

"It would be hateful if it pointed at anybody alive today. But this has been part of the record of 2,000 years," he told the Rocky Mountain News.

The sign was taken down by church members on Wednesday night.

-- Kingfish Beatbox (kingfis...), February 26th, 2004.

The sign was taken down by church members on Wednesday night.
One thing that is not mentioned in that news item. A woman driving by saw the sign, then went back to confirm that it said what she had thought it said. After knocking on the door of the church to no avail, she drove to Home Depot, bought a ladder, returned to the church, climbed up, and took down the word "Jew."

-- Hunter (thhii...), February 26th, 2004.

took down
the word "Jew."

"S KILLED THE LORD JESUS"

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 26th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SKILLED, THE LORD JESUS

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 26th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

was at building macaroni ducks.
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), February 26th, 2004.

-- eugenius landy (gerb...), February 27th, 2004 4:21 PM.

i don't know if this has been mentioned elsewhere, but on NPR today, they mentioned that the only time Mel Gibson is onscreen is when his hand is shown nailing Jesus in.

figure that one out.

-- Kingfish Beatbox (kingfis...), February 25th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's cause they cut the scene where Mel shows Jesus how to escape the cross by dislocating his shoulder.
(That'll be in his follow-up, around the time he loses it completely and wears boxes for shoes: Mel Gibson's Gnostics, Gnostics, Gnostics.)

-- Tep (te...), February 25th, 2004.

---

me: so are we gonna get married? Cos I don't really care one way or the other, I mean whatever.
mr teeny: uh... uh...
me: If we do, let's run away, I hate engagements, it's all so stupid, I want to spend the rest of my life with you but fuck that fancy bullshit.
And if you have to be traditional don't you even think of getting a diamond.
mr teeny: what?
me: blood of africa, dude.
mr teeny: what?
me: I don't want to talk about this any more.

teeny, is mr. teeny actually Aja?

-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 27th, 2004. (later)

-- Tep (te...), February 27th, 2004 9:37 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bent ass.
-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 27th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A glorious and happy experience of some of the finest music ever made. What did you THINK it meant? Tsh.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 27th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's cockney for "the gimp ou-- @d@ml (nordi">tfit".
-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), February 27th, 2004.

Don't you 'ave a gnome to go to?
-- Momus (nic...), February 27th, 2004.

Well! I liked it!

My penis is fancy
-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), September 29th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that sucked
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 27th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 27th, 2004. (later)

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 27th, 2004. (spencermfi) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob was an inspiration to us all, Spencer.
-- Bryan (twp62y...), November 4th, 2003 1:41 PM. (Bryan)

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 27th, 2004.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 27th, 2004. (later)

what a hooey acronym

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 27th, 2004. (later)

yeah they're totally ripping mana.org, the Midwives Alliance of North America!

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 27th, 2004. (later)

ma naa ma naa
doo doo doo-doo-doo
doo doo doo doo

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), February 27th, 2004. (later)

-- katie (kjgrocot...), September 22nd, 2001 8:00 PM.

-- dean! (dea...), February 28th, 2004.

----------------------

that is so unattractive.
-- omg (o...), February 28th, 2004.

what, I can't do spirit fingers anymore? Motherfucker.
-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), February 28th, 2004

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), October 31st, 2003.

This is all getting out of, hand enchilada.

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), October 31st, 2003.

This is all, getting out of hand enchilada.

-- donut bitch (do...), October 31st, 2003.

This, is all getting out of hand enchilada.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), October 31st, 2003.

Am I losing my marbles, or is the source of that sample in the chorus really obvious?

-- Jez (je...), February 28th, 2004.

Answers

Sorry dude, no-one's got anything to say about Outkast on this board.

-- omg (o...), February 28th, 2004.

Quak like a duck

I run ya over with my truck

You all suck!

(You know I'm playing. I love you all!)

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 28th, 2004 12:03 PM. (aja) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh my god, that's the greatest Lil' Jon chorus ever.
-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 28th, 2004 12:06 PM. (Begs2Differ) (later)

-- Ed (dal...), February 28th, 2004. (later)

Ed likes Dr. Bronner for the religious advice on the labels.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 28th, 2004. (later)

clearly

they make great reading whilst taking a shit

-- Ed (dal...), February 28th, 2004. (later)

-- John 2 (poo...), February 29th, 2004. (later)

You all suck!

You all suck!

Quak like a duck

I run ya over with my truck

You all suck!

(You know I'm playing. I love you all!)

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 28th, 2004 12:03 PM. (aja) (later)

oh my god, that's the greatest Lil' Jon chorus ever.

-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 28th, 2004 12:06 PM. (Begs2Differ) (later)

AJA IS YOUR NEW CRUNK GODDESS

-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 28th, 2004 12:06 PM. (Begs2Differ) (later)

I'm sorry, but I will be out of the business shortly.

I just relized I hate rap.

Peace, to y'all!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 28th, 2004 12:09 PM. (aja) (later)

Aja is the new Jay-Z

-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), February 28th, 2004 12:11 PM. (Curtis Stephens) (later)

I'll be listenin' to Rock
On the block

It'll be a shock
Y'all talk

All around the clock
Y'all hear me Rock!!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 28th, 2004 12:22 PM. (aja) (later)

Aja is the new Bill Haley!

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), February 28th, 2004 12:31 PM.

I will, eventually, but you will first!

Well, at least, that's what I pray!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), February 29th, 2004. (link)

I though "good one", now I find it's "Excelsior, Aja to thread" at the moment. Whattheheck!

-- Danny Quintana (tickl...), February 29th, 2004 1:42 PM.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just mean in the same way as you're saying yours are, but maybe I have lower expectations. It's just a maybe.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 29th, 2004 1:43 PM.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is the worst production of waiting for godot ever

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 29th, 2004 1:44 PM.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here comes a fat man.

-- N. (nickdastoo...)

-- The Second Drummer Drowned (jeremy721...), February 21st, 2004.

actress: theron (despite my libidinous fascination for her i would like to see her lose thought)
-- ryan

ask him what ethan's wang looks like

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 29th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and i would totally ring the number, but i have to go to bed now. perhaps i will ring it tomorrow
-- gareth (garet...), February 29th, 2004. (later)

-- Bronx (iamsobored_8...), March 1st, 2004.

Indie kids are stupid.
-- BICICLETA EMOCIONAL!!! (Jon Williams) (williamj@cs.rochester.edu), March 1st, 2004 11:22 PM.

Run Goldwave!!!!!
Select "File > New"!!!!!!
In the "new sound" dialog, select "CD" in the "quicksound" settings, then set the length of the file as "4:31.000"!!!!!!
Save the file was a normal WAV!!!!!
MP3 the WAV!!!!!
In the ID3 tag, set the Artist to "John Cage" and the title to "4:31"!!!!!
Hey presto: instant John Cage MP3- without even being on the interhighway netweb!!!!!!
-- Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd @seniordads.fsnet.co.uk), December 3rd, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're 2 seconds out, Fart.
-- Jonathan Z. (zing @zong.com), December 3rd, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a "radio edit"!!!!!!!
-- Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd @seniordads.fsnet.co.uk), December 3rd, 2003.

Answers
The English version has more people saying "now look here!"
-- stevem (bluesk...), March 1st, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have heard of this rock.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes. This is good rock.
-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), February 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hurrah for rock! Let us nurture it, and it will grow big and warm with love.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corny indie fuck alert!!!
-- Jon Williams (william...), February 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe???
-- conner Smedley (conner66...), February 1st, 2003.

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), March 1st, 2004.

"I can't for the life of me see anything to turn, screw, twist or adjust that seems to make a difference. Any idea what I'm (not) doing wrong? "

Is this the script for Carry-on plumber?

-- ken c (pykachu10...), March 1st, 2004.

Carry On At Your Convenience, Ken.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 1st, 2004.

-- Ally (garance8...) (webmail), June 7th, 2001.

So what happened to Ally?

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/spenceally.jpg

what is the mean temperature of your home during daylight hours?
-- gygax! (gygax0...), March 1st, 2004 2:50 PM. (gygax!)

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), March 1st, 2004.

They're Israeli you know. Apparently theres a huge rave scene in Israel. I find this intriguing.

-- Trayce (trayc...), March 2nd, 2004 11:20 AM. (trayce)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that israeli interesting
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), March 2nd, 2004 11:22 AM. (electricsound)

(he started as he means to go on... )

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GOOD LUCK HAVING SEX IN COLLEGE!
-- Allyzay (nerd...), March 1st, 2004 7:03 AM. (later)

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YER I AGREE THE BOOKS ARE AMAZING, IM READIG IT FOR THE FOURTH TIME AND IM ONLY 17!
I LOVED THE MOVIES ALSO!
-- gaol clichy (clich...), March 1st, 2004 9:40 AM. (clichy) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GOOD LUCK HAVING SEX IN COLLEGE!
-- Allyzay (nerd...), March 1st, 2004 3:03 PM. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oooooh....just got really cold in here.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), March 1st, 2004 3:05 PM. (vassifer) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is perhaps a truer sentiment than some of us would care to admit.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 1st, 2004 3:12 PM. (Ned) (link)

-- $$ (...), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha $, the thing is that you were right! the track is ONTOLOGICAL LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER, especially when he goes "I got two kids" and replies to himself "I know, they're my kids too!"

-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

no i know, i ws reading hegel at the time :/

-- $$ (...), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

a.k.a. masturbating

-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

im semanticizing the indescernible as i wr5te thi s

-- && (^&&@*), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

hey, you're just doin' your job

-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

yall aint never seen a dopeboy play the piano and discuss metaphysics at the same time!!

-- && (...), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

actually we could do the whole album like this: all the tracks like "No More Talk" and "Let Me Tell You Something" are clearly about language itself, rockin' the Wittgenstein Riddim, etc.

however, I think maybe we should quit right here. or else I should as I'm at work and I gotta get shit done.

-- Begs2Differ (whothehel...), February 26th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

wittgenstein wdve been better if he used that vocoder all the time

-- $$ (...), February 26th, 2004.

-- Smash (Scott Gregory), whenthefuckever

-- Ian Johnson (johni72...), March 2nd, 2004.

interesting.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), March 2nd, 2004.

Answers
You were on that funny thread.
-- Eyeball Kicks (eyeball_kick...), March 1st, 2004 10:35 PM. (Eyeball Kicks) (later)

-- Antmusic78 (bergenrai...), March 2nd, 2004. (later)

and why do they keep downloading master p from me.

-- brian badword (ba...), March 2nd, 2004. (later)

-- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! (Limpbizkitforeve...), March 2nd, 2004.

Lasorda "coaching" Canseco = the blind stroke-addled invalid leading the deaf-mute manchild.

-- David R. (ilxo...), March 2nd, 2004.

-- _Momus (momu...), March 2nd, 2004. (later)

were there any celebrities there?

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), March 2nd, 2004. (later)

She was a child when DC became famous, what sort of clubs does your friend go to?
-- Blackpanther, March 2nd, 2004 9:31 AM.

it was a girl scouts meeting.
-- dyson, March 2nd, 2004 9:38 AM.

crosspost

It's the not real chicken nuggets thing that had me spluttering

xpost

She gives me a woody. Her boobs are huge.
-- Spinktor au de toilette (tor...), March 2nd, 2004 2:03 PM. (El Spinktor)

-------------------------------

What's the weather like?
-- Ned Raggett

---------------------------

radioactive.
-- fiddo centington

-----------------------------------

Unfortunate.
-- Ned Raggett

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 2nd, 2004

I pegged a guy who was in the band that was playing at the convention in the hotel room where R0b L0w3 screwed that underage girl, he said you could hear his band in the tape I think.

-- teeny (teeny@b.c), March 2nd, 2004 6:10 PM. (teeny) (later)

also I lost my virginity to s34N ca55idy, but not that one, a different, more mexican one.

-- teeny (teeny@b.c), March 2nd, 2004 6:11 PM. (teeny) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've listened to em a couple times! I like em.
-- Tep (te...), March 2nd, 2004 2:23 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I downloaded them on my computer at work, so now I can listen to them without the buffering stuff!
-- Sarah McLusky (x77tigersxu...), March 2nd, 2004 2:33 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes to fishing for compliments, I'm...
Oh wait.

When it comes to fisting for compliments, I'm some kind of award-winning porn actor.

-- NA (naamm...), March 2nd, 2004 3:37 PM. (later)

CALL ME.

- JON *PHONENUMBER*
"

-- LITTLE LAMB [Jon Williams] (william...), March 3rd, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yr getting there. i think it should be "your hot little teutonic ass" though.
-- Ian Johnson (johni72...), March 3rd, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wonder if she will call me "Yaaaanathan"
-- LITTLE LAMB [Jon Williams] (william...), March 3rd, 2004.

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/random.php?board=1

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), March 3rd, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm jealous.

-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), March 3rd, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

God don't get me started again on the psychological complexities of that show, it's completely bullshit. The whole Jem-Jericha-Rio love triangle sickens and disgusts me and always has. Jem and Jericha are the same person! Rio doesn't know this so in his mind he's cheating on them! But Jem and Jericha are the same person and therefore know that he is cheating on them! WTF? Kick the fucking purple haired dickwad to the motherfucking streets, he ain't no good for you girl. It's horrifying.
Also, the thing is, the Misfits songs truly were better, they weren't lying about that. Jem's songs were kind of ass.

-- Allyzay (fuckthatsho...), March 2nd, 2004.

-- zebedee (zebede...), October 30th, 2002.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

a cruel form of punishment?

-- jel -- (freeduni...), October 30th, 2002.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 3rd, 2004.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 22nd, 2002.

Like I said, this story is not music-related. But I felt like sharing.

-- Phil Freeman (newyorkisno...), March 1st, 2004.

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S/D: cuntry azz sweaters
-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), March 2nd, 2004 12:43 PM.

-- Ricardo

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh steve you grouchy old man
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 3rd, 2004 1:59 PM. (later)

I used to have that dream when I was a kid, but then I started locking my door at night.
-- Tep (te...), March 2nd, 2004.

http://www.setel.com/~ccprek/pics/pazzle.jpg

In my dreams I would find a woman who would refer to my junk as my "grocery groin".

-- TOMBOT (rollou...), March 3rd, 2004.

-- suzy (theartskooldisk...), March 3rd, 2004. (later)

Keep in mind I grew up in the same condo complex as a kid who thought a bull terrier was a camel.

The animal in question was a Miniature Schnauzer.

And it wasn't black.

http://www.the-magicbox.com/poster/poster-pikachu.jpg

http://www2.dogshow.com/spring2003/pictures/0148c2.jpg

Oh, the humor of x-posting.

"Yay! More paper towels!"

My dad woulda just been like, "What? No, Al, video games now, sit down, what?", OTOH.

uh xpost I meant the paper towel one.

(xpost)

Feb 9:

http://est.rbma.com/content/Family_Circus?date=20040209

PJ in happy sauce:

http://est.rbma.com/content/Family_Circus?date=20040204

Madame Diablo, I'm still a-watchin' and proud of it. Takes the edge off the continuing Election soap opera.

(xpost)

...OK I'm bored now.

It was the list itself that made me laugh.

-- Oblimov (whatistobedon...), March 3rd, 2004.

I always figured it would make a good band name, like maybe another Ice Cube side project. "Orchestral Maneouvres in the Ghetto"

patent pending

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), March 3rd, 2004. (later)

-- bnw (bweis...), December 6th, 2001.

sadly hilarious!

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
PYOTR KIRILOVICH BEZHUKOV, a golf raver
PRINCE IPPOLIT KURAGIN, a charlton lido
COUNTESS NATALYA ROSTOVA
TRACER HAND, a traitor to his homeland

TRACER HAND is sitting in a chair made from hundreds of choice early and mid-nineties R+S vinyl releases. PRINCE IPPOLIT KURAGIN and PYOTR KIRILOVICH BEZHUKOV are standing nearby, looking sketchy and holding big glasses of lager. COUNTESS NATALYA ROSTOVA is attached to the ceiling via a number of suction cups. Playing in the background is Atmosfear's "Motivation (Dimitri From Paris remix)."

TRACER HAND: It just seems like the argument that if we pay Haggar workers .25/hr to make corduroy jeans in Ciudad Juarez, they'll buy lots of refrigerators and cars and CDs and matchsticks, has seemed, como se dice, BUSHEET MAN.

PRINCE IPPOLIT KURAGIN: Ah durnt lark Trayrcer's turn!

PYOTR KIRILOVICH BEZHUKOV: Haha!

PRINCE IPPOLIT KURAGIN: Pierre can ah borror yer hepflarsk? What yow gorinnit?

PYOTR KIRILOVICH BEZHUKOV: Grayrveh.

COUNTESS NATALYA ROSTOVA: By the way, your reflection on the lost joys of collectivism touches on something I just wrote in an (otherwise rather prosaic) essay I just posted to the Rostova site. Yes, I've been experiencing major nostalgia for the Soviet Union!

Everyone turns into a Sanrio character.

THE END

-- TOMBOT (helpingyo...), March 3rd, 2004 9:42 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, who else is there? Sting?
-- @d@ml (nordicskill...), March 3rd, 2004 11:30 PM. (nordicskilla) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YO BEVERLEY CRAVEN WE LOVE YOU AINT NEVA HEARIN THE HATAZ, HOLLA BACK!
-- stevem (bluesk...), March 3rd, 2004 11:32 PM. (blueski) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whack my bonobo.
-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), March 3rd, 2004 11:32 PM. (Nick Southall) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WAT UP AUTECHRE DO U HAV A GURL???
-- @d@ml (nordicskill...), March 3rd, 2004 11:33 PM. (nordicskilla) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

remind me not to go to the movies with you
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), March 3rd, 2004 10:59 AM. (electricsound)

-- Momus (nic...), March 4th, 2004

http://www.epicharmus.com/ifoundbeauty.gif

137) Remember the Foghat Principle: Fourth album should be Double Live.
-- Dr. Annabel Lies (lhooq...), March 4th, 2004.

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i canoe believe it.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), March 3rd, 2004.

Fuck off Aja.
-- El Diablo Robotico

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

iraq'n you could be right
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), March 4th, 2004 12:38 PM. (electricsound)

(they'll get tired of it one day....)

Totally. But then I thought, I don't hate any pens!

-- donut bitch (do...), March 4th, 2004. (late

(stuff stuff stuff)

Isn't anyone else going to have the Kool-Aid?
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 4th, 2004 7:33 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is it tasty Kool-Aid?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 4th, 2004 7:34 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 4th, 2004 7:34 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mine would taste like succotash, gumdrops, molasses and vagina.
What would yours taste like?

-- Forksclovetofu (shempshem...), March 4th, 2004.

Answers
sweet, with suggary pop and dirty, down south sugar kane.
-- lukey (picninj...), March 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mine would taste like plastic, LCD displays, and bits of electronic circuit boards!!!!!
Just as well, I don't have one to eat, then!!!!!!

-- Old Fart!!! (oldfart_s...), March 4th, 2004.

Old Fart just looks as though he's about to explode

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), March 4th, 2004 11:32 AM. (GeirHong) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no, he lives on the second floor
-- chris (cbrassic...), March 4th, 2004.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 4th, 2004.

Answers

urge to kill....rising...

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 4th, 2004.

Couldn't we just post pictures of naked ladies instead?

-- maypang (pange...), March 4th, 2004.

urge to kill...fading...

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 4th, 2004

-- rainman (ra...), March 4th, 2004.

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Everything is about sex, in the end.
-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), March 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know this because Freud knows this.
-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), March 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

in which end?
-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jon Williams' end.
-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), March 4th, 2004.

What the fuck is this? a slambook?

-- Viva La Sam (...), March 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), March 4th, 2004.

Momus: At a certain point, when you've stretched over backwards, twisted around your own ankles and looped three times through your legs to prove that etiquette from thousands of years ago can still be relevant to life today, it's best just to pull yourself together, straighten up, dust yourself down, and say 'Ah fuck it, I might as well buy a Vagi-Volvo and become a druid.'

You see, I can't help but feel that this kind of response is symptomatic of a deep-seated political, intellectual and cultural conservatism. When one ideological combatant is faced with an argument he doesn't understand, doesn't want to understand, or simply lacks the intellectual rigour or background knowledge to form an counter-argument, he resorts to mockery, sarcasm or crude humour in order to deflect attention from his failings.

I can't help be reminded of the kneejerk dismissal of your average boorish British male when faced with a Pollock or a Rothko, or a beautiful Takashi Murakami piece - because it lies so far outside the realms of comprehension, the subject is compelled to ridicule. It is the symbol of everything that is wrong with British society today, and in protest I shall move to Berlin forthwith.

-- Matt DC (runmd...), March 4th, 2004.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 4th, 2004.

But it tastes like candy tastes. You like candy, don't you?

-- Jordan (j0rdanc0h3...), March 4th, 2004.

Are you trying to lure Dan into a van or something?

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), March 4th, 2004.

-- brian badword (ba...), March 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I just wanted to know if you preferred weeknight or weekend, geez!
-- luna (luna_cee...), March 4th, 2004 1:11 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ha ha you would never put the fear in me! unless i asked. and then i would still require you to use some form of lubricant.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 4th, 2004 1:19 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gee thanks, from now on "the fear" = "24-inch dildo".
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 4th, 2004 1:26 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

looks like you're getting all emily dickinson!
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 4th, 2004 10:31 AM. (slutsky)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because I could not shop for Death
he kindly shopped for me
The shopping cart held just ourselves
And tamarind kimchee
-- Tep (te...), March 4th, 2004 10:33 AM. (ktepi)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), March 5th, 2004 7:23 PM."

(but then I realized a mime could still operate and type at a computer without talking, and it became less funny)

Ally posted it once here already, but I'm requesting an encore.

post random bits of work.

is ther a danger in having intercourse
while a conception is in progress?
-- metfigga (mattandc...) (webmail), March 5th, 2004. (metfigga)

How can I make my baby smart before it is even born. And where can I get the
equipment.
-- metfigga (mattandc...) (webmail), March 5th, 2004. (metfigga)

My baby turned 11 months old on yesterday and still doesn't have any teeth. My mother-in-law says it's because I didn't put a crawfish on his gums when
he started teething.
-- metfigga (mattandc...) (webmail), March 5th, 2004. (metfigga)

only real work allowed
-- Willdabeast (wil...) (webmail), March 5th, 2004.

that's the beauty of it, it's all too real. i'm in customer service for an online parenting resource. these are real emails from folks who have real problems, and i have to help them.
-- metfigga (mattandc...) (webmail), March 5th, 2004. (metfigga)

I'm still laughing insanely as I post this.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i also had to stop myself from buying and eating a dozen donuts when i got my coffee today
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 5th, 2004 5:03 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maybe i'm going to get my period soon
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 5th, 2004 5:03 PM. (later)

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), March 5th, 2004.

Tracer, he's just jealous of your talent.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), March 5th, 2004.

FUCKING HELL. I knew I should've worn a condom.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), March 5th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or a SUIT OF DRUGS!!!
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), March 5th, 2004.

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 15th, 2003.

beep beep

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 15th, 2003.

mother's ruin, etc

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 15th, 2003.

oh, i'm in a for a world of hurt tomorrow

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 15th, 2003.

but right now ONE LOVE

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 15th, 2003.

I'm trying to imagine Hank Williams Jr. saying this.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), November 15th, 2003.

-- bnw (rilke...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

ijkl,mjk,mnjkmnuijkmuijkmuijkm

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

(preceding post typed with forehead)

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

sorry for not giving my all.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

sorry, I meant, sorry for not giving my balls.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

nbhn nbn bnnm nn

-- donut bitch (do...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

(preceding post produced by... well, you know)

-- donut bitch (do...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

Bon Scott shoulda sung about that.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

the Perry Method?

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

(xp cruller slut)

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

I apologize for every post I've made except the last two here.

-- donut bitch (do...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

der-der-der DUT.... DUT.... DUT...... der-der-der DUT......DUT.......

-- donut bitch (do...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

that was the sound of my balls, btw.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

I Love Everything | New Answers | Unanswered Questions | Ask A Question
ilXor.com | Contributions | >ILM
Ned | Settings | Logout

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

Answers

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

-- donut bitch (do...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

no, seriously, get out.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

-- Nate in ST.P

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 5th, 2004. (natedetritus) (later)

-- Douglas (il...) (webmail), March 5th, 2004. (Douglas)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They're both stuck up cunts, I suppose.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), March 5th, 2004 9:06 PM. (Matt DC)

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

"i enjoy licking toads while dancing to junior jack remixes of dido" -- ronan

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

"today i washed my hair with my last pair of pants, they were made from ostrich eggs"-strongo

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

(but, really, that whole thread. I now offically declare I love Jess)

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), March 5th, 2004.

Me neither!
http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/jess.jpg

-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

When did Ned become a kick in the nuts?

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

Hey, did you guys know that the Beegee's invented disco?

Also, did you guys know that acid house was invented by Genesis P. Orridge in LA in 1992?

And finally, did you know that Stock, Atkin, and Watermann invented techno with the second Banarama album?

-- Born-Again Pubescent Undercover Pocket Nihilist Crochet Ninja (current31...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

Don't be ridiculous, techno was created by Aldous Huxley.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

I thought Kraftwerk invented techno and then everyone in detroit jusy ripped them off years and years later. Badly, i might add. There, is that a good
start for a 900 post thread?

-- scott seward (skotro...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

hee hee

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

hows about: "the proliferation of kraftwerk's ideas were more interestingly expanded upon everywhere other than detroit"?

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

True that. Thank god for the Japanese. And the Japanese could afford decent equipment and studios. None of this, "hey, I found a drum machine in the
garbage, i think i'll take it back to my mom's basement and see what it does."

-- scott seward (skotro...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

let's face it, poor people suck.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

It is kinda cute how they try and mimic "real" music though.

-- scott seward (skotro...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

well scott, shall we be off to the wine and cigar bar, then?

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

some bread and cheese and fine white wine

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

mmm, yes. Don't let me forget to call my broker. I'm buying into an African diamond mine.

-- scott seward (skotro...), March 5th, 2004. (later)

;)

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), March 4th, 2004. (later)

'vicious'.

-- cozen (coze...), March 4th, 2004. (later)

so it was geir all along that turned george michael gay

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 4th, 2004. (later)

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...), March 5th, 2004.

-- LondonLee (le...), March 4th, 2004.

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Virgin ears my ass! I fucked your ear at the junior prom, you lying cuntswaddle.
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), March 5th, 2004 10:28 AM. (later)

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THAT WAS YOU?????
(call me)

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 5th, 2004 10:28 AM. (later)

that's a bit like superman yelling constantly at all other superheroes for being superheroes
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 6th, 2004 10:18 PM.

If you read this then you will eventually not live through the cancerous vive of intelligence. CAUTION. an extremely hott guy wrote this with his girlfriend, Katie, who was just laughing.

she doesnt know this is all true

-- phillip james Deon, dr. (wothotte...), March 6th, 2004.

2004-03-04 14:53:28
This past weekend i had a huge party at my house because my rents were on vacation. 80+ people showed up. it was so out of control, but said to be the best party in my school in a while. My pool table got spilled on and my walls which we just paid ot get painted got scratched a little bit. We filled up the back of my buddies truck with just empty bottles and cans. I cleaned up pretty good but my mom found one corona cap in the couch and tweaked. I was supposed to go to madison for hockey state where the my whole school goes to get hotel rooms and drink all weekend. I'm grounded now and i'm the only senior at school. I guess it was worth it but this weekend is going to suck.

Member # 2848

posted March 03, 2004 02:26 AM
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I like Goth chicks they're always in for a good fuck.

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Member # 3204

posted March 03, 2004 02:45 AM
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I FUCK PLENTY OFF GOTHIC SHICKS.....I LIKE LATIN GIRLS BETTER.....

posted March 03, 2004 05:47 AM
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any pussy is good pussy except over weight pussy
but Latin pussy is my favorite

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posted March 03, 2004 02:49 PM
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i only like the Betty Page lookin goth chicks like marylin mansons beotch.

Sonic Youth are rubbish.

-- the bellefox (pinefo...) (webmail), March 6th, 2004 10:17 AM. (later) (link)

i think you are capable of better. the quasi-authoritative one liner without context does you a disservice, it is not appealing to appear ill-informed, or incapable of backing up statements. i think it would be unfortunate to descend to the caricature level of a one-line dismissal generator, especially if said post relates only tangentially to the subject matter, and betrays a lack of engagement with the wider question.

-- gareth (garet...) (webmail), March 6th, 2004 11:20 AM. (gareth) (later) (link)

haha!

I will of course ignore Major Fuck up or anything similar.
-- Billy Dods

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grand admiral dicksmack.
-- ethan

I love [linda ronstadt]. Just want to know others reactions to her.
-- Rich C (Moonriverric...), July 31st, 2001. (2 trackbacks)

Answers
Oh God, stuff her in a box and mail it to Nort h Korea.
-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), July 31st, 2001.

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Could you expound on your obnoxious comment, Mike?
-- Rich C (Moonriverric...), July 31st, 2001.

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Certainly. THey should include a shithouse rat in the box too.
-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), July 31st, 2001.

Which one is your favorite!

-- William Wiggins (hack-nee...), March 6th, 2004. (later)

Answers
I changed my mind, you can't pick a state, it has to be a city.

-- William Wiggins (hack-nee...), March 6th, 2004. (later)

putting a finger down yr partner's throat isn't enough? this bacon business seems... fishy.

-- :| (...), March 6th, 2004 11:16 PM.

-- Begs2Differ

-- Erin (*6...), March 7th, 2004 8:36 PM. (later)

Most of the punk threads have had me in stitches, but this is the icing on the cake so far...

where does david bowie come into this?

-- :| (...), March 7th, 2004 10:22 PM.

Have you heard Diamond Dogs? It was originally Bowie's design to make it a musical production of "1984," but the Orwell estate wouldn't allow it.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), March 7th, 2004 10:23 PM.

well done them.

-- pete s (pp...), March 7th, 2004 10:25 PM.

thanks for nothing DAD...you taught me one thing though, that is i will be the exact opposite of you with my children...i know what love is...you never will

-- LISA MORALES (alli9...), March 8th, 2004.

these are good lyrics.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 8th, 2004.

OR ME FOR LAUGHING AT THAT LAUGHING?

r. dresses like a big gay zorro and yet has this face on that's like jake lamotta's at the end of raging bull

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 8th, 2004. (later)

SlipKnoT888
2805 posts
No Life

2004-03-06 22:03:34
my friend Kaylee sleep walks so much they had to put tennis balls on her door nob so she couldnt get out of her room. I know if she read this she would kill me sorry kay I just had to tell.

Im Jake Rodriguez Bitch

ATLANTASK
posts
Beginner

2004-03-07 00:11:43
pork rhinds make you sleep walk, i slept walked one time into my friends parents bed room and crawled into bed with them when i was like 12 lol

cobble_hills
107 posts
Pro

2004-03-07 01:21:59
yeah i once woke up to take a piss but i was too tired to take a piss so i dreamed i got up and walked to the bathroom and i pissed my bed

im scared of sleeptalking because im afraid ill say something incriminating

cobble_hills
107 posts
Pro

2004-03-07 02:20:50
haha my friend has to take pills and wear a diaper till she was in highschool

SNOWMAN17
1059 posts
Ridiculous

2004-03-07 14:32:09
one night i was sleepwalking and i walked downstairs and pissed in the trashcan and walked back upstairs and went to sleep

273 posts
Junkie

2004-03-07 14:44:53
when I was 4, my brother pissed in my lego while he was sleepwalking
-*~*~Caitie*~*~

WHEREAEAS my Client has ,not, engaged i,n postting to the Said forum for a period of, nọt exceeding THREE (three) MONTHS (3) (months)

BE IT NOW STATED thảt my CLient is very sorry. About this derrelictoin ọf duty And

wishes it to be known that he has most unfortunately been unable to contribute to; the said FORUM due to certain difficultỉes of a very prohibitive specific nature and and NOT to ANY of those other quite differant difficulties of an alternative nature that has being alleged over against him by ill_intentioned persons who, are nọt in pọsession of THE FACTS which when fưlly known in a a rational and legal manor COMPLETELY EXXONERATE my clịent from all charges thathave been alleged agảinst him in connectiọn with in re this and ALL other matters, of, whatever nature;

& fuRTHERMORE that it is the settled intention of my CLIent tọ in future to cọntribute to the said “FORUM’” in a frequent and adequate manner tọ which no ỏbjection can be inculcated by any reảsonable person who is, OR IS NOT, in full posession of such facts as might tend to exacerbate my Client from all such reprơaches such that might be made against hím in re his cọndưct in re the FUTURE.

As witness my hand this Ševenth ọf March Twothoưsnad & Two SevenFọur.

yours verý truly

Caitriơna McTremens
Articled Pảralegal Clếrk-in-aid Of Litigatiọn ÖF LAW!!!!¡!

-- pp Rex (re...), March 8th, 2004.

I wake up and I am horny. I fuck myself when I have no man. My womans friends love my sweet taste pussy. "

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Yes.
-- luna (luna_cee...), March 9th, 2004 6:10 PM. (later)

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How do you put pics on luna?
-- Speeds Man (speedsvill...), March 9th, 2004 7:13 PM. (later)

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Thumb-tacks and Tylenol.
-- Tep (te...), March 9th, 2004 7:15 PM. (later)

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 8th, 2004.

I would have to say the frontmen of the grunge era Nirvana with there best album In Utero
-- BAM (nirvanafan1486@msn.com

Any other hot tips?
-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com)

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be careful.
-- g--ff

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Thank you, Y-da.
-- Ned Raggett

-- Prude ()@(), March 6th, 2004. (later) (link)

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http://www.billboard.com/bb/daily/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000456187
I'd probably buy a copy, just because the kid's so darn nice.

-- Johnny Fever (johnnyfeve...), March 9th, 2004 9:26 AM. (johnny fever) (later) (link)

Answers
FUCK AMERICA IN THE RETARDED EARHOLE.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 9th, 2004 9:42 AM. (nickalicious) (later) (link)

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the Bermuda Triangle was powered by ozone
-- stevem (bluesk...), March 9th, 2004.