ROLLING ON THE FLOOR, LAFFING OUT LOUD, PULLING STRINGS, NEW EXECLSIOR

I was deejaying at a college function many years ago, playing a freeform set that was being well received, when some dirty hippie freshman told me that my music was "bumming everyone out". Normally, I would have politely disagreed and sent him on his way, but it a beutiful day, the set was going really well, and I was drunk on whiskey, so I told him "back the fuck off now or I'll slit your fucking throat."
I am not proud of this memory.

-- Colin Meeder (amisrau...), March 17th, 2004 2:16 AM. (later)

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or bottom.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 17th, 2004 2:18 AM. (link)

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that's Irish for "lend me some sugar"
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 17th, 2004 2:55 AM. (later)

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You
-- Mr Mime (countandre...), March 17th, 2004.

[I am 12 years old btw]

-- CharlieNo4 (charlie_iven...), March 17th, 2004.

http://de.findcoolmovies.com/coversde/dudewh.jpg

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), March 17th, 2004. (later)

It's all about Lil' Jon.

This statement is the Apocalypse in a silver thong.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 17th, 2004. (later)

-- Chuck Tatum (sappy_papp...), March 16th, 2004. (later)

Can you blame her?

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), March 16th, 2004. (later)

Barry Lasagne had it coming.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 16th, 2004. (later)

He tried it.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), March 16th, 2004. (later)

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I need download free kazza plase can you tell me where :email:devilcj300...
-- carlosjordano (devilcj300...), March 17th, 2004. (later)

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dude i answered right above you ,fool ass
-- Pablo Cruise (chaki_mc_chak...), March 17th, 2004. (later)

-- Kayamaga (Swordsmaster...), March 17th, 2004. (later)

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Toothpickmaster2@hotmail.com
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), March 17th, 2004. (later)

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 17th, 2004.

Please tell me being chased out of town for wandering around in nothing but white socks, trainers and red mask wasn't one of them.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 17th, 2004.

not white socks, no

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 17th, 2004.

That would be the greatest thing ever. Subtitles for growls, hisses, and snarls!
Alien: "Die!"

Predator: "You're mine, bitch!"

Facehugger: "I look alarmingly like an alaskan king crab."

Chestburster: "I look like a penis with teeth, how do you think I feel?"

-- latebloomer

why are they talking about what they look like?
-- s1ocki

They're neurotic. That's why they're so hostile to humans.

-- latebloomer

that would be very demystifying.
-- s1ocki

Lazy inflatable rat! GET A JOB.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 18th, 2004.

-- D Aziz (esquire198...), March 18th, 2004.

i like it when you are angry. dont stop

-- gareth (garet...), March 18th, 2004.

I go to the best grinders, I make up my own blend, I SPECIFY the coarseness of the grind, if necessary I get the manager in, especially if I'm getting attitude from the cheese goofer at the counter.

Then, fueled with this mellow, deep, arabica, crowned with a the slightest of lemon astringencies, I come up with the most ridiculous, the most pointless posts, imaginable.

-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), March 18th, 2004 3:03 PM. (colin s barrow)

-- overcast (rain...), March 18th, 2004.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), March 19th, 2004. (later)

Good lord, I'm not. But somebody said the word 'roar' on a thread and all of a sudden I remembered this thing. Like how you read "Kubla Khan" by Coleridge and eventually start thinking of Gene Kelly dancing around a disco pinball machine.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 19th, 2004. (later)

Don't you mean "Xanadu?"

-- Lord Custos Omicron (l.custo...), March 19th, 2004. (later)

Aaargh! I made my own brain hurt!

-- Lord Custos Omicron (l.custo...), March 19th, 2004. (later)

I wish it was me.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), March 19th, 2004. (later)

-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), March 19th, 2004 4:14 PM. (Begs2Differ)

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actually I just re-read that, it sounds gay. but we didn't all have sex.
-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), March 19th, 2004 4:18 PM. (Begs2Differ)

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:(
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), March 19th, 2004 4:21 PM. (Oops)

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Well, come on, it was Wyoming.
-- Casuistry (chri...), March 19th, 2004 4:22 PM. (Chris Piuma)

-- LITTLE LAMB [Jon Williams] (william...), March 19th, 2004.

CAN WE GIVE THIS MAN A GOLDENFUCKINGCROWN?!?! HE TRULY IS A KING.

-- mark grout (mark.grou...) (webmail), February 23rd, 2004. (link)

Now I know this is against the rules. But what is funny, is that I saw a reference to the thread "Summarise a book in 25 words" today, thought "I know, I'll do Tarantula", only on reading down I find someone's done it already. Then I realise "Oh, it was me?" and I don't even recall doing it. And that I thought about the exact same book to do anyway.

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oh in that case i have
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 19th, 2004 4:10 AM. (dubplatestyle) (later)

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she looked dashing as hell, too
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 19th, 2004 4:10 AM. (dubplatestyle) (later)

-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), March 19th, 2004 12:59 PM. (miloauckerman) (later)

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 19th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- gabbneb (gabbne...) (webmail), March 19th, 2004 8:55 AM. (gabbneb) (later) (link)

Classic! You can play "Got Your Own Nose" and you will always know which hand the penny is in.
-- scott seward (skotro...), March 19th, 2004.

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No, it's bad to get high off of Air Supply.
-- m.e.a. (flpyrw...), March 19th, 2004.

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dude, there's nothing wrong with air supply...just ask the karate kid
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 19th, 2004.

drinking fermented apple juice?

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 19th, 2004 9:54 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later)

"we're with john darnielle"

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), March 19th, 2004 9:57 PM. (J0hn Darn1elle) (later)

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), March 19th, 2004. (later)

He'd probably just asked her to go down on him.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 19th, 2004. (later)

-- gareth

-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), March 19th, 2004.

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ludacris remix EP feat. RJD2, prefuse73, four tet, and manitoba.
-- scissors (onehal...), March 19th, 2004.

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the best def jux album in the world...ever
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 19th, 2004.

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music for the advancement of ludacris
-- scissors (onehal...), March 19th, 2004.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), March 21st, 2004.

ok this is more just in honor of the fact that Alex's terse (if valid) complaints when being unwarrantedly referenced tend to send me into giggle fits.

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gitch is ladies underpants
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), March 22nd, 2004.

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Gotcha.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 22nd, 2004.

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your worst nightmare.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 22nd, 2004 5:10 AM. (RJG)

-- Matt DC (runmd...), March 22nd, 2004.

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That seems a bit harsh.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 22nd, 2004.

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they shouldn't have been so hard-on him.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 22nd, 2004

Ned, i find ideas of Priest "never grooving" and Maiden not having a "competent" rhythm section so beyond my realm of thought and comprehention that i cannot even conjure up the words for a proper response at this time xÜ55ghr390%^$#53..42

-- Pablo Cruise (chaki_mc_chak...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

-- Kit (ki...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

the ambiguities in your sentence are many

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

See, ESOJ, that Comp Lit degreed proved useful after all.

-- Casuistry (chri...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

-- Ian Johnson (johni72...), March 22nd, 2004.

Ah, the lazy man's crush.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 22nd, 2004.

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i suppose that's better than the other way around!
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 4th, 2004 12:00 AM. (slutsky) (link)

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right?
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 4th, 2004 12:01 AM. (slutsky) (link)

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guys?
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 4th, 2004 12:01 AM. (slutsky) (link)

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are you an aficionado of the golden arts?
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), March 23rd, 2004.

I figure Never Mind the Bollocks or Suicide. Suprised no one's mentioned Suicide.

-- Maxwell von Bismarck (chim...), March 23rd, 2004 3:04 AM.

I guess suicide is never the answer, though.

-- Maxwell von Bismarck (chim...), March 23rd, 2004 3:04 AM.

-- Allyzay (sig...), March 23rd, 2004 4:25 AM.

If revisionism ever catches up with this album, there will be hell to pay.

-- The Good Dr. Bill (fadeout9...), March 23rd, 2004.
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every day, before I get out of bed, I listen to Jim sing "tell all the people that you see, follow me, follow me down!" and I'm ready to face the day!

-- Dan Selzer (danselze...), March 23rd, 2004.
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Strangely enough, my morning ritual doesn't involve thinking about or listening to The Soft Parade.

-- Bruce Urquhart (burquhart...), March 23rd, 2004.

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 23rd, 2004.

its crap.

-- jed_ (colin_ohar...), March 23rd, 2004.

-- Alex in SF

-- kirsten (kickyouintheshin...) (webmail), March 23rd, 2004 12:30 AM. (kirsten) (later) (link)

I've only killed once today.

-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...) (webmail), March 23rd, 2004 12:30 AM. (Alex in SF) (later) (link)

OHHH YEAH as ya do

-- bonnie

i still think you should've called her baby in nyc!

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 23rd, 2004 12:17 AM. (slutsky)

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That's never put you off before!
-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 23rd, 2004 4:23 AM. (later)

Answers
Is your twin brother a boy or a girl?
-- mark s (mar...) (webmail), October 5th, 2001. (link)

and later...

robosac
-- Eisbär

I'll buy THAT for a dollar!
-- Sean Carruthers

paint a vagina on your fretboard so you can make cuntless jokes about fingering.
-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), March 23rd, 2004. (link)

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jesus.. COUNTless!!
-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), March 23rd, 2004. (link)

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Uhh...Hareton...
-- kirsten (kickyouintheshin...), March 23rd, 2004.

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?
-- kirsten (kickyouintheshin...), March 23rd, 2004.

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uhh... wilbur
-- bonnie (bonskin_bab...), March 23rd, 2004.

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Gee, you win again.
-- kirsten (kickyouintheshin...), March 23rd, 2004.

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ohhh yeah
-- bonnie (bonskin_bab...), March 23rd, 2004.

89) Kate Smith in her one and only attempt at starring in a movie, 1933's Hello Everybody!, sings a song called "Pickaninnies Heaven" to 'a lot of little colored children who are listenin' in an orphanage in New York City'. Sample lyrics:
"Great big watermelons
Go round and get in your way....
Luscious pork chop bushes
Bloom right outside your door
In a pickaninnies' heaven!"

Jesus Christ. Never actually seen it and I definitely do NOT want to.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 23rd, 2004 8:49 AM. (Ned) (later) (link)

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(much later)
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OH MY GOD NED THAT KATE BUSH THING SOUNDS STAGGERING!!!!!!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 23rd, 2004 8:58 AM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)

-- Allyzay (thejuxtapositio...), March 23rd, 2004 12:49 AM.

hahahahahaha oh yes posting one's opinion on a thread about that subject and being "served" with a two-word response is a LAFF RIOT!

http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/allposters/mmph/243671_rt.jpg

your prize: ILX.

-- JaXoN (jaso...), March 23rd, 2004 12:33 PM. (later)

yes, aol speak still amuses me.

RJG: "I disagree"

Ned: "So does RJG."

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WTF why are people so intent on making the ugliest, evilist, most fucked-up characters in movies allegories for black people???? I mean, even as a joke this annoys the shit out of me.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 23rd, 2004 11:13 AM.

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yeah, and, like, Jango Fett was TOTALLY offensive to hispanic people!!11!
this thread is mutating.

-- Kingfish Cowboy (kingfis...), March 23rd, 2004 11:19 AM.

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I thought it was like elves = african americans humans = hispanics dwarves = asians orcs = the white man?
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 23rd, 2004 11:22 AM.

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Oh also all the scenes in Super Troopers based on Jay Chandrekasar's racial ambiguity.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 23rd, 2004 11:23 AM.

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Oh what, so now we're all semi-mystical, hyper-athletic spellcasters?
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 23rd, 2004 11:23 AM.

Answers
In order: George Peppard, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander Hamilton, Andrew Jackson, U.S. Grant, Ben Franklin, Howard Google, James Yahoo, Frank Searchengine, James Greenbacks, Richard Bling
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), September 14th, 2003 7:12 AM. (Oops)

It was Richard Bling that made me lose my shit.

-- the surface noise

-- fletcher dexter (nmec8...), January 4th, 2004.
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LESS FIRE CREW

-- Lynskey (pau...), January 5th, 2004.
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THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF FIRE CREW AS BEFORE

-- mark p (mark.p****...), January 5th, 2004.
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ok time to leave

-- mark p (mark.p****...), January 5th, 2004.

-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), March 23rd, 2004.

I await hearing this. Contribution to follow.
I like Mooro's contribution.

-- Ally C (allycook9...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

You've had a copy since Sunday you slackjawed waster!
-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 24th, 2004. (later)

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shit yeah! I'm on it, julio.
-- cozen (coze...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

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What's on it?
-- the beefox (pinefo...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

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cozen is. he just said so.
-- mark p (mark.p****...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

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In that case I would like to hear it.
-- the bluefox (pinefo...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

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In truth I am confused. I didn't think cozen meant that he was on it. Yet he has supposedly recorded something, that maybe I would like to hear, at least until I hear it.
-- the britfox (pinefo...), March 23rd, 2004. (later)

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), March 24th, 2004 10:43 AM

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-- chris b

I blame fuck you fuck perry perry perry raggett raggett fuck FAP fuck window shouting fuck fuck pencil stencil fuck fuck HATECRIME! fucker fuck windmills of your norfolk top gear top geir homegro hongro fuck fuck dat jess mess stress (i digress) fuck bomb don't tom when you're the graham graham fuck pencils stencils shouting out of dom joly dom pass cars massive cars shouting shouting HATECRIME! Dada wadda gabba gabba HATECRIME! YOU'RE OLD, Bob Mould (+ fat, gay and fantastic) megamega megamanic megapanic perry perry perry raggett raggett MC Victim versus MC HATECRIME Cat Power flower power heckle heckle lobster mobster caffiene chickens in a victim of Skeletor! Dom pass vs MC Jess vs MC Passhole (OPRAH WHEELIE!) Troll n. coddled homegro gongro bongro several shades of killallcornyindiehongro OTM squirm squirm don't Cat Power when you're the fucking Rocket trigger freaky Scientist perry perry perry raggett raggett am i emo am i homo am i hongro pencil mental health stencil professional having my head kicked out of a car window fuck carruthers brothers teeny weeny itsy bitsy HATECRIME! cotton balls fuck is good for the goose magritte is good for the nabisgro "if _I_ was a Troll n. coddled Joly steppenperry aerocarey gareth gareth sermon on the blount fuxx Golden MC graham windmills fucker dada megamanic panic panic VICTIM / HATECRIME OPO TS Classic or OLD. REALLY FUCKING OLD.
/sarcasm

-- Lynskey (pau...), March 7th, 2003 2:17 PM.

It was the kids for sex bit that got me. Thanks N.

how do want it to be sad? what are the emotional and musical signifiers of the saddest hiphop you can think of?
-- simon trife (d9st8ufdg9UYFS...), September 7th, 2002. (2 trackbacks)

Answers
and if this turns into a thread just listing shit like aesop rock and millie pulled a pistol on santa i swear to god i will never fucking post to ilm again
-- simon trife (54tgrf5...), September 7th, 2002.

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Promise?
-- Motel Hell (motelhel...), September 7th, 2002.

Calm down, dear.
-- N.

---

Emo is fagism.
Emo represents emotional crap
realy people emotional music is like jazz and my grandpa likes that crap.
Dont listen to Dillon known as southpaw
hes an emo freak to

-- robert Willcutt (osiris1239...), March 24th, 2004. (later)

-- Talyn chartier (www.bizzybone40...), March 25th, 2004. (later)

In this case, I hope so.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), March 25th, 2004. (later)

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but it would be a filthy lie
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), March 25th, 2004.

Part of my job is to ensure that the Netherlands receives Spongebob Squarepants.

-- Ed (dal...), February 5th, 2004.

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I fear Dan and El Diablo are about to declare a fatwa on you.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 5th, 2004.
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I am all for the Netherlands receiving Spengebob if it means that the US doesn't.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 5th, 2004.

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That would fantastic.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 5th, 2004.

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the dutch get spengebob. but we keep spongebob. so everyone wins, yay!
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), February 5th, 2004.

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Eisbär fatwa declared!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 5th, 2004.

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it's not for me, it's for my nephew! think of THAT when you jihad-me, mr. osama bin perry.
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), February 5th, 2004.

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HE ADMITS HE IS DEFILING THE MINDS OF CHILDREN!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 5th, 2004.

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those seem dangerous. i don't like those things you have to actually put in your ears! inside them and stuff!
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 25th, 2004 3:15 PM. (slutsky)

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I'd better not tell you where the subwoofer goes then.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), March 25th, 2004 3:17 PM. (SeanC)

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You've been watching OZ too much lately haven't you, Jess?
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), March 25th, 2004.

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oh man, i miss oz
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 25th, 2004.

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life's not so easy when you're on the outside, is it?
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 25th, 2004.

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Well that's easy. It was a rice pudding salesman at the world's fair ran out of milk. The man in the stall next to him was selling any old crap and offered it to the rice man to use in place of the milk, but the rice man said "No, I don't want that, it would be revolting and not like rice pudding at all". The any old crap man was offended and threw all his crap at the rice. At the same time, a vat of boiling water from the nearby water fair fell off a cart and some starving urchins started to eat the resultant gloop. They called it Rice-A-Roni. The stallholders asked them where they were getting the 'a-roni' bit from, since it bore no relation to macaroni or anything. The urchins attacked the stallholders and the fair was closed.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 26th, 2004.

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and that's the end of that.
-- Viva La Sam (...), February 26th, 2004.

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Right, so in the blockbuster double episode where Kelso got Brooke pregnant and the immigration officer came to investigate Fes' and Laurie's wedding, a new actress was playing Laurie. Is this a permanent switch? I don't think it would be a good one. (Are these switches ever good?) She is better-looking in a bland kind of way but that seems to actually work against the character's trashiness. She doesn't have 1/5 the personality of the old Laurie. When Hyde was dissing her, she just sat there and grinned moronically/stoically. The old Laurie would have if nothing else demonstrated withering contempt just with her eyes and would have probably zinged him back and worse. And her "I'm not that trashy - I wouldn't sleep with you" to Fes was so limp and feckless compared to how the old Laurie would have delivered it. Besides, it didn't even make sense since they only got married after they slept together on the camping trip. THESE MATTERS REQUIRE IMMEDIATE DISCUSSION.

-- sundar subramanian (sundar_subramanian200...), March 25th, 2004.

Answers

there's a new laurie?

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 25th, 2004.
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which one's laurie again?

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 25th, 2004.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 19th, 2004 6:36 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later)

Jess that last post is so beautiful.

-- Chris Ott (ot...), March 25th, 2004 12:24 AM. (Chris Ott) (later)

(xxxxxpost)

So this "Swan" thing - is it just "Pimp My Face"?
-- Adaml (nordicskill...), March 24th, 2004 4:45 PM. (nordicskilla)

yes Carsmile and I always try and outdress each other as well
-- stevem (bluesk...), March 24th, 2004 4:40 PM. (later)

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Outdress eh? How things have changed...
-- Sarah (starr...), March 24th, 2004 4:41 PM. (later)

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What about JerrytheNipper?
-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), March 24th, 2004 4:41 PM. (later)

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i have no interest in removing his clothes
-- stevem (bluesk...), March 24th, 2004 4:43 PM. (later)

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Good. Stev/phens undressing each other seems kind of incestuous, and is certainly an unsavoury practice in public.
-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), March 24th, 2004 4:48 PM. (later)

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what goes on the stag stays on the stag
-- chris (cbrassic...), March 24th, 2004 4:49 PM. (later)

-- kirsten (kickyouintheshin...), March 25th, 2004. (later)

It would make a great story :
Guy: "I got slapped by Richard Simmons in an airport!"
Partygoers: "Ha ha ha ha- that's fantastic - ha ha ha"
Guy: "Yeah, I sued him."
Partygoers: ".... whatever."

-- dave225 (adspac...), March 25th, 2004.

---

why can't you guys accept that music is music and kenny or kracker aren't gay they just made a fun song for fun because that's what they like dong. It
doesn't have a hidden meaning. And why do you try to form theory's with his song and how they relate to eachother? Just because they sing the song
doesn't mean that it really happened to them. And Kenny's smirk? well...there's not much i can say about that exept it's totally hot.

-- califlower (jazzhot200...), March 25th, 2004. (later)

-- Rockist Scientist (MuoMuothla...) (webmail), March 25th, 2004. (rockistscientist)

Worthy of Seinfeld. And I bet your grandma was called Memma or Yetta or something.

.....

UK Carhole
-- stevem (bluesk...), March 25th, 2004 1:38 PM. (later)

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 25th, 2004. (later) (link)

I was hoping it would just be a livejournal style prattling off of things he did today in AIMspeak. "OMG WTF so I like totally masturbated into a copy
of The Economist this morning and now my BALLS are so SORE!!"

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 25th, 2004. (later)

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I just can't get away from the thought of your boyfriend's enormous balls. I'm sorry.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), March 25th, 2004.

i went out to eat with my folks recently. they're getting up in years (late 50s/early 60s) and their taste in food is leaning away from more unusual chowhoundy things and towards bland suburban chain restaurants. so we all went to a chili's. and my mom couldn't figure out whether she was ordering the soup or salad that came with the entree for an additional $1.99, or whether it was the soup plus salad plus entree (not an option), or whether she was just ordering the lunch-portion soup and salad combo for $4.99. if she'd actually read the menu this wouldn't have been a problem because it was all spelled out, but once the waitress came over, mom got so flummoxed she ended up ordering just the soup and salad and later bitched the waitress out wondering where her entree was (she never ordered one).

i was really embarassed. my parents are becoming THOSE PEOPLE.

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 1:43 AM. (later)

i mean don't they teach you the difference between and and or in like preschool?

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 1:45 AM. (later)

I think the menus are full of too much information for people of a certain age (i.e our parents) We went to Chili's last night, and had a spot of confusion over the regular menu version versus the atkins style one (bunless hamburgers!) My parent don't read TV Guide because it "confuses" them.

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), March 25th, 2004 3:38 PM. (later)

This is one of the reasons my parents have started going to buffets -- the food's all right there in front of them and they can take a little of everything and not have to make any "choices" (another reason being that my mom's diabetic/Atkins and she can load up on vegetables and meat and not be stuck with a plate full of carbs she can't eat).

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 4:56 PM. (later)

It is reasonable to be confused by menus, because menu writers are not typically members of any cultural elite themselves. "Pie with chips and peas or salad"? It's a goddamn trick question. Use commas, pricks.

-- Eyeball Kicks (eyeball_kick...), March 25th, 2004 5:01 PM. (later)

It is reasonable to be confused by menus, because menu writers are not typically members of any cultural elite themselves. "Pie with chips and peas or salad"? It's a goddamn trick question. Use commas, pricks.

I've hardly ever had that happen, and if it has I've usually been able to figure it out from context -- with this example I'm pretty sure "peas or salad" is the variable.

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:08 PM. (later)

WRONG!

-- Eyeball Kicks (eyeball_kick...), March 25th, 2004 5:09 PM. (later)

Pie, (with (chips and peas) or (salad))

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), March 25th, 2004 5:10 PM. (later)

I prefer it when people speak for themselves only or not at all and don't bother me when I'm eating or thinking about what I'd like to eat or working out what I can eat or where I am.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 25th, 2004 5:10 PM. (later)

Most menus don't just say "salad" if it's a main dish -- they say "dinner salad" or "arugula salad with etc etc." If it's an appetizer or side dish, that's when you see "salad."

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:11 PM. (later)

CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING DOOFUSES

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:12 PM. (later)

are you calling yourself a doofus?

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 25th, 2004 5:12 PM. (later)

wtf is "chips and peas"?

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:12 PM. (later)

exactly.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 25th, 2004 5:13 PM. (later)

whoever orders pie with chips and peas or salad deserves whatever he gets.

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:14 PM. (later)

Clever point.

-- Eyeball Kicks (eyeball_kick...), March 25th, 2004 5:16 PM. (later)

the point is that that HARDLY EVER HAPPENS and if it does just fucking stop making everyone's life miserable and order something that does make sense!

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:17 PM. (later)

Maybe the slowcoaches are doing a close-reading of the menu. It's admirable.

-- Eyeball Kicks (eyeball_kick...), March 25th, 2004 5:21 PM. (later)

yeah, just cuz you don't care WHAT THE FUCK you're putting in your mouth.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 25th, 2004 5:22 PM. (later)

i think the idea is to choose between "chips and peas" and salad.. i.e. "pie with chips and peas" or "pie with salad".

You don't actually order "pie with chips and peas or salad", cos that's dumb. And yes, if you ordered that you deserve whatever you get.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), March 25th, 2004 5:22 PM. (later)

yeah, just cuz you don't care WHAT THE FUCK you're putting in your mouth.

you're saying this to me?

-- stockholm cindy (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:24 PM. (later)

where are you, now?????

-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 25th, 2004 5:24 PM. (later)

what?

-- stockholm aja (jod...), March 25th, 2004 5:26 PM. (later)

I would like some pie.

-- Archel (dilettant...), March 25th, 2004 5:27 PM. (later)

Pie, (with (chips and peas) or (salad))

mark grout is OTM. More menus need to be written in either LISP or SCHEME because I can't follow the turgid English that's written for the idiots.

Then again I don't go to those kinds of restaurants.

-- Elvis Telecom (chri...), March 25th, 2004 5:28 PM. (later)

Maybe all restaurants should serve food right out of the can, Repo Man style.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 25th, 2004 5:29 PM. (later)

my public service announcement for the day: under no circumstances should anyone order pie (with anything) at the turkish-run cafe by the tesco's in the stroud green road. lord god, is it nasty.

-- lauren (jaguarrid...), March 25th, 2004 5:32 PM. (later)

(order '(pie (or (and chips peas) salad)))

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 25th, 2004 6:00 PM. (later)

Can I just have a roll?

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 25th, 2004 6:47 PM. (later)

(order 'roll)

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), March 25th, 2004 6:49 PM. (later)

A: You can smell it. And you're treading in it.

-- dog latin (doglati...), March 25th, 2004.

Nicole's last one is still killing me.

-- s1ocki

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For Mark...

-- Jordan (j0rdanc0h3...), March 25th, 2004 4:02 AM. (Jordan)

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Damnit. Imagine pictures of Ewoks and mogwai.
-- Jordan (j0rdanc0h3...), March 25th, 2004 4:03 AM. (Jordan)

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I still know " ". Thanks anyway.
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), March 25th, 2004 4:04 AM. (mark grout)

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Mogwai - Gremlins
Ewoks - Star Wars
Mogwai - turn into scaly mischevious gremlins
Ewoks - turn into speederbike-riding guerilla revolutionaries

They're both blockbuster gold, though.

-- Jordan (j0rdanc0h3...), March 25th, 2004 4:10 AM. (Jordan)

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So, who's the 'wise' thing that says things like "with the force, are you?"
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), March 25th, 2004 4:12 AM. (mark grout)

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Ahmed Best
-- Kingfish Hypercolor (kingfis...), March 25th, 2004 4:13 AM. (Kingfish)

see that's where "and that's a good thing" comes in handy.
"you look like a deranged camel...and that's a good thing"

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), March 26th, 2004.

Except it was a bad thing. I kept expecting her to pull a sweet potato from out of her pocket and start washing the grit off of it.
-- Bryan B Sure (twp62y...), March 26th, 2004.

well you don't have to actually mean it.
only the smart ones do the potato washing thing.
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), March 26th, 2004.

but hey you're in frigid Canada so she'll have the last laugh
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), March 26th, 2004.

Or whatever sound snow monkeys make when they're happy.
-- Bryan B Sure (twp62y...), March 26th, 2004.

Our assumptions are always so way off beam.

uhhhhhhhhh

-- JaXoN (jaso...), March 25th, 2004. (later)

Dude, I want to add your dad to my buddy list.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), March 26th, 2004.

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Which tribe are you a member of?
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), March 26th, 2004 12:19 PM. (later)

also, i'd love to see an onion-point-counterpoint style essay written by jimi about mayer.

-- Felonious Drunk (wangchungvsah...), March 26th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mayer invented a kind of bland. The bland of a short-sleeve Polo shirt. The bland of Skecher shoes with beige khakis. If John Mayer is an influence on somebody, you can immediately tell. Give me a guy who's got some kind of boring-ass haircut and plays acoustic folkie "woe is me, you're really hot" type music, and you just go, 'He got to you, didn't he?'"

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), March 26th, 2004.

BTW, classic. Ask any phlebotomist.

-- Aimless (aimles...), March 26th, 2004 6:41 PM. (Aimless) (later)

In that case, my body is scared of pee loss.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), March 26th, 2004 7:29 PM. (Mark C) (later)

I do think it's real, and by a woman - and that Payne isn't up to date with the modern £800 quid call girl who does two or three extended tricks a week and provides conversation etc, as well as sex, and doesn't feel too ashamed or self-disgusted about it.
That isn't to say that these diaries are the gospel truth. The diarist will be hiding her tracks like mad, so I assume stuff like her hair colour, origins, background, location etc. will be false trails. She mentions no public events that I can see (surely a current diarist would be commenting on things like the Madrid bombing - there's a tip for you, Belle)) so I have a feeling that the diaries - or at least the punter action parts - are set in the past. Maybe she did this a few years ago. That would make her much safer from present exposure and explain why she can be bothered with writing a book.)

I think she is quite a good writer, and I'm glad this thread has pointed her out to me, because I will go on reading. I don't like the wishy washy bits about shoes, handbags, and pants; but I find this blog to be the only readable sex blog I've ever come across.

-- Baravelli. (qp10q...), March 26th, 2004. (later)

It's fake. End of.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), March 26th, 2004. (later)

How is that end of?
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 26th, 2004. (later)

And how is it being fake any different from it being real, considering we didn't always know it was fake.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 26th, 2004. (later)

all this "it's real - it's made up" talk makes me think that Belle Du Jour is Bangbus for hipsters.
-- DV (dirtyvica...), March 26th, 2004. (later)

Does it matter? It's not very good anyway. Ronan, go and deconstruct your ass.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), March 27th, 2004. (later)

http://www.king-mag.com/04mar-apr/images/rides.jpg
-- HOLY SHIT (n***p**

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his character was named MAJOR WHOOPS?!
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 27th, 2004.

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cinniblount ... you must be in a band
-- andrew peters (whax0...), February 8th, 2004.

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I didn't realize that until now.
-- @d@ml (nordiF="mailto:(nordicskilla@hotmail.com">(nordicskilla@hotmail.com), March 27th, 2004.

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here i come!
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 27th, 2004.

b-b-b-b-but Axl Rose is WHITE!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), March 27th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

he may be white but uh, umm. I don't know. He's crazy?

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), March 27th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

You may be white, I may be crazy.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 27th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- mop (mo...), March 28th, 2004. (later)

this is like watching very small dogs straining against their leashes to yip at each other.
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 28th, 2004.

-- scott seward (skotro...), March 28th, 2004.

Anybody seen Neil Young do Greendale?
What to make of Neil Young's "Greendale?"
Greendale: The Movie
Greendale: The Album
'Greendale' - what do we think?
Should I go see Neil Young on his Greendale tour?
I just got a bootleg of Greendale, live...
Neil Young's Greendale Thing
Neil Young - Live Greendale

-- scott seward (skotro...), March 28th, 2004. (tracklink)

A testament to the artist, obviously.

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), March 28th, 2004.

Answers
jimmy forgot to buy more, so we were all using magazines for a bit.
-- Kingfish Hypercolor (kingfis...), March 28th, 2004 7:10 AM. (Kingfish)

(I think the bizarre question cracked me up as much as Kingfish's answer did)

Once somebody digs up that quote my Presidential chances are finished
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), March 29th, 2004 7:48 AM.

I'm retiring from ILX, as I have basically just said everything I have to say.
-- NA (naamm...), March 29th, 2004 2:59 PM. (later)

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 29th, 2004. (later)

think about baseball

-- bnw (rilke...), March 29th, 2004. (later)

then i'll just think about girls in baseball outfits

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 29th, 2004. (later)

my question is: is there anyway to do both at once? in a simple fashion? cuz i can't use appletalk and pppoe simultaneously, and it'd be totally more convenient to be able to transfer files and stuff without turning off the internet (the main inconvenience is running upstairs to change the network settings on the powermac, and then having to change them again).

thank you computer smart people.

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 29th, 2004. (later)

You what now?

-- @d@ml (nordiF="mailto:(nordicskilla@hotmail.c">(nordicskilla@hotmail.com), March 29th, 2004. (later)

i wanna do the thing with the whatsit on the network jazz.

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 29th, 2004. (later)

When you have it set to PPPOE and you click on "Network", what do you see?

-- Casuistry (chri...), March 29th, 2004. (later)

I SEE BEYOND TIME

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), March 29th, 2004. (later)

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-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), March 30th, 2004 4:13 PM. (later)

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hulkington spoke in class todaaaay
-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), March 30th, 2004 4:14 PM. (later)

-- Grape Soda (GrapeSod...), March 28th, 2004. (1 trackback) (later) (link)

Answers

one of us.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

his name is anthony.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if you want, i'll give you his IM name.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), March 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you diabolical...

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), March 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

hey! that was "CAPTAIN Thundercock" and you know it!
-- Kingfish Hypercolor (kingfis...), March 30th, 2004 8:36 PM.

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it's my 11th birthday party all over again!!
-- strongo hulkington (dubplat...)

It's kind of more like bunting, I guess.
(We could mix a lot of metaphors here. If I pitch and she's catching, who gets to second base?)

-- Tep (te...) (webmail), March 29th, 2004 10:58 AM.

that would be jennie fitch, btw

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...) (webmail), March 29th, 2004 10:58 AM.

haha thats one helluva xpost

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...) (webmail), March 29th, 2004 10:59 AM.

6:49 AM, 30 Mar 04 GET YOUR ASS TO MARS. deleted by Andrew (bollocks)

I hope no-one thinks this was a waste of time/anything else.

Yeah, but the horse could...
argh wtf am i doing?

-- Pashmina (pashmin...), March 30th, 2004.

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I mean this is bonkers!!
-- Pashmina (pashmin...), March 30th, 2004.

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This is important. not bonkers. my friend thinks monkey. ridiculous!
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), March 30th, 2004.

-- Matt DC

thats like the best part!!

-- jeremy jordan (j...), March 30th, 2004.

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I always sing it like "what am I gonna do without my booo-urns"

-- LC (l2k34...), March 30th, 2004.

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Osama in tipping over toilets hell.

-- Pete (pb1...), June 26th, 2003 3:49 PM.

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Once again, your moniker proves misleading.
-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), March 30th, 2004.

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my penis will surprise you
-- teeny (teen...), March 30th, 2004."

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Is the music scene feminine?
-- mark grout (...), March 30th, 2004 4:16 PM.

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If we're lucky.
-- Sick Nouthall (...), March 30th, 2004 4:33 PM.

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and we are.
-- mark grout (...), March 30th, 2004 4:57 PM

This entire thread is full of the best mental images ever.

-- mark p (mark.p****...), March 30th, 2004.

-- joe merchant (03-merchant-...), March 30th, 2004 8:28 AM.

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x-post, dammit, my version had 'please spot me' though.
-- teeny (teen...), March 30th, 2004.

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haha, you win.
-- gygax! (gygax0...), March 30th, 2004.

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What do you think?
-- N. (nickdastoo...), March 30th, 2004 10:57 AM. (later)

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oh, wrong thread.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), March 30th, 2004 10:57 AM. (later)

-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), March 31st, 2004 3:43 PM. (colin s barrow)

-- stevem (bluesk...), March 31st, 2004.

-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), March 31st, 2004 10:26 AM.

"non-burnable"...c'mon matt, nobody's buying that shit
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), March 31st, 2004 10:46 AM.

Dude it's copy-protected like 15 different ways. I don't know how to even play the thing on my computer, much less figure out how to copy it. You're such a CDR hard guy, Blount, haul yr ass off the couch and up here and figure it out for me.
I thought so. All talk.

-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), March 31st, 2004 10:54 AM.

I AM ON MY WAY AND AFTER I AM DONE I WILL HAVE MY WAY WITH YOUR WIFE AND YOUR TOASTER
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), March 31st, 2004 11:16 AM.

AND THEN I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IN ROTO BASEBALL
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), March 31st, 2004 11:16 AM.

fuck you, my toaster's off limits!
-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), March 31st, 2004 11:25 AM.

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Do you fancy a quiet drink, dinner, a walk by the river in the moonlight, a night at the opera followed by cuddle by the fire and a night of tender buggery?
-- Matt DC (runmd...), March 31st, 2004.

All my Canadian friends on ILX r gonna hate me now. but I called it, didn't I?

-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), March 31st, 2004.

Donna Brown, you are so very wrong.

And most of the time we were right haha.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JaXoN's post has me helpless with laughter. Am I a bad person?
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), April 1st, 2004 2:34 PM. (Dan Perry)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

guess what i've been doing all day.
-- Sterling Clover (s_clove...), April 1st, 2004 10:45 AM. (s_clover) (later)

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lines?
-- LC (lk23j...), April 1st, 2004 10:48 AM. (later)

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Yeah but he was a CLOWN. I mean ...
-- Trayce (trayc...), April 1st, 2004 8:47 PM. (trayce)

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Yeah I should've been tipped off when he turned a balloon into a bong.
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), April 1st, 2004 8:48 PM. (Oops)

TURN TOWARDS THE PUB, OH POXY FULE!!!
-- Super-Kate (masonicboo...), April 1st, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

.. and then they spread Jam on it, and it played "Autobahn"...
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), March 31st, 2004 10:45 PM. (mark grout)

-- matthew james

Most people I know put it on their tongue.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), April 1st, 2004 11:22 AM.

YOU CAN GET COFFEE BITCHES?????? I'm moving to Canada.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), March 31st, 2004. (later)

-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), March 31st, 2004 4:49 PM. (later)

Album covers redrawn from memory in MS Paint

Album covers redrawn from memory in MS Paint

My Top 5 Glasto Ticket-Buying Fears

1/ Michael Eavis will BAN anyone using the magic no-s site and VOID their orders.

2/ ROBBERS will loot the bank accounts of anyone using the magic no-s site.

3/ The magic no-s site has been set up by PORNOGRAPHERS and we will all go to JAIL for DOG PORN.

4/ The people in charge will take ONE LOOK at my attempt to buy a ticket for someone in DUBLIN and immediately CLAP ME IN IRONS (or not send me my ticket)

5/ MUSE will play.

-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), April 2nd, 2004 12:38 AM.

Talking dust refers to God creating you from dirt and breathing life into you, yet at times you talk out of your head without wisdom as if you have no hint of God in you (like the walking talking spiritually and in your case mentally dead) and that's when I called you "talking dust". I was calling you stupid, but in a really nice way.
Keep me out of your lies and conversations.

-- Karen (astarri...), April 2nd, 2004. (later)

-- Pete (pb1...), April 1st, 2004 12:35 PM. (Pete)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

what's a fwend tho?

-- stevem (bluesk...), April 1st, 2004 12:36 PM. (blueski)
"

this thread makes me want to quit work.

-- tylero (tyler....)

-- Donna Brown (summerbabe82...), April 2nd, 2004 3:44 PM. (Donna Brown)

-- chris (cbrassic...), April 1st, 2004 8:19 PM. (chris) (later)

Blower buggered as well.
-- Ricardo (boyofbadger...), April 1st, 2004. (later)

There is no fucking way it can be sold out already
-- Ricardo (boyofbadger...), April 1st, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why has fucking NOONE got any
Herman's Hermits are headlining on Sunday. It would be churlish not to allow him a ticket.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), April 1st, 2004. (later)

N. I am going to kill you
-- Ricardo (boyofbadger...), April 1st, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what path did you take to get there?
-- paulhw (pppso...), April 1st, 2004 8:22 AM. (paulhw)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ILX
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), April 1st, 2004 8:23 AM. (Nicole)

Fun limps on without Kate or Mark C shocker.
-- Andrew Farrell

while the rest of ILX are in a field in somerset dancing around a giant statue of our god FREYA
-- Rob Bolton

How nice for you.
-- Super-Kate

Speak for yourself Rob. The rival Cult Of The Missing S will smash your false idol.
-- Tico Tico

andy

-- koogs

well done Ken

I liked Bryan better before I knew he was a member of the bald eagle club :(
-- mandee (mandee...April 2nd, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you George Will?
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), April 2nd, 2004 10:26 AM. (Horace Mann) (later) (link)

-- mark grout (stuff I wouldn't see if I were logged out)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

(was this Hanle y in disguise or something? heh)

Also 1993, Lemonheads concert. I drank way too much and blacked out in the pit. I woke up the next day with a hemmorhoid, a bruised ass, a sprained ankle and covered in vomit.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 23rd, 2003 12:47 AM. (Chris V)

A hemmorhoid and a bruised arse?!? Eeek! The mind boggles!
-- Stewart Osborne (stewart.osborn...), July 23rd, 2003 12:55 AM. (Stewart Osborne)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yeah i know. dando probably had his way with me. He does have a big gay heart and all.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 23rd, 2003 12:57 AM. (Chris V)

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because the ironing was delicious.
-- Al (hoteloper...), April 3rd, 2004 10:27 PM. (later)

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 3rd, 2004.

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/mork2.jpg

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), April 3rd, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only thing missing in that photo is the coke.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 3rd, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because I'm writing an essay about him.
-- Sym (shmuelm4...), April 3rd, 2004 10:47 PM. (shmuel) (link)

Answers
He was a crap Maths teacher when I had him anyway.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), April 3rd, 2004 10:54 PM. (Ronan) (link)

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the scruffy tuft look needs to die a death
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 5th, 2004.

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We could cut off the hair and sand off the chin.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 5th, 2004.

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i find your ideas intriguing and i would like to subscribe to your newsletter
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 5th, 2004.

just like to say kenyon my hamster died today and your song through the wire made me feel like it wornt the end of the hamster lfe more like the beginning off a hole new one .
Maybe i mist the point here but thats what this song means to me just getting buy taking the good with the bad pain in my case i just like to say if u could here me now your song really helped me forget my worries and like i was made that nothing mattered for those 4:32 mins/sec of the song.
id like to say ....................
his name was rony
rony from my cage
his name is rony the hamster who is the greates hamster a little boy/man women could have

this my friends is the passion .....
and this rony is goodbye

-- oliver honder (ozone_123sta...), April 2nd, 2004. (later)

-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), April 6th, 2004 9:41 AM. (Liz :x) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cannot promise that, sorry
-- chris (cbrassic...), April 6th, 2004 9:43 AM. (chris) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damn you cabbage.
-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), April 6th, 2004 9:44 AM. (Liz :x) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IT'S TRADITION
-- chris (cbrassic...), April 6th, 2004 9:44 AM. (chris) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Schmadition.
-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), April 6th, 2004 9:45 AM. (Liz :x) (later)

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Would you be happy if we changed it from We Want Fun to Party Til You Puke?
-- Sarah (starr...), April 6th, 2004 9:48 AM

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), April 6th, 2004. (later)

Not every DAY

-- LC (2lk34j2lk34...), April 6th, 2004. (later)

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), April 6th, 2004. (later)

Not every DAY

-- LC (2lk34j2lk34...), April 6th, 2004. (later)

"Psssst.. girl... you call that a vagina? I thought that was your belly button born in the wrong place."

-- donut bitch (do...), January 6th, 2003. (1 trackback) (link) (admin)

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...) (webmail), April 6th, 2004 8:30 PM. (M Matos) (later) (link)

In fact that whole portal thread is killing me.

"The FRENCH...THE FRENCH....I piss on the french from a great height.."

we've run you a bath ned. sorry we dropped a couple of vegetables in the water..
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), April 7th, 2004.

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Donalo Logueington
-- C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin4...), April 6th, 2004.

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oh i'll get you beckett
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 6th, 2004.

-- chris (cbrassic...), April 7th, 2004 12:04 PM. (chris) (later)

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Whatever Vicky tells you to, probably.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), April 7th, 2004 12:04 PM. (Matt DC) (later)

(only cos i picture his lil lady running on a wheel while he looks down at her, laughing demonically)

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), April 7th, 2004 2:06 PM. (spencermfi)

"moist" doesn't really work, tho, for our purposes. e.g. "Gosh, Aunt Bea, this cake is ever so moist!"

-- Kingfish (jdsalmo...), October 20th, 2003 2:23 PM. (Kingfish)

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"It feels so nice against my dick."
-- NA (emmaa...), October 20th, 2003 2:25 PM. (Nick A.)

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Love!
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), April 7th, 2004 3:26 PM. (later)

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wait, not war?
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), April 7th, 2004 3:27 PM. (later)

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Despite what you've heard, love is NOT a battlefield.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), April 7th, 2004 3:35 PM. (later)

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all those years of school, wasted!
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), April 7th, 2004 3:36 PM. (later)

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Where are the complacent italian bastards when you need them to mock?
-- N. (nickdastoo...), April 7th, 2004 10:40 PM. (later)

--Tep

Czech blastcore and pagan culture

!!!!

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since when is a pot roast produce?
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), April 7th, 2004 6:14 AM. (Horace Mann)

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Since FUCK YOU.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), April 7th, 2004 6:16 AM. (nickalicious)

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I got told.
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), April 7th, 2004 6:17 AM. (Horace Mann)

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Was that "Fuck the Clock Around"?
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), April 8th, 2004.

1.....................................0
..............O
.
.......................................|
.......................................|
|......................................|
|
|
.
-- alan banana (alan_r_banan...), April 8th, 2004. (alan_banana) (later)

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1.....................................0
.
...O
.......................................|
|......................................|
|......................................|
|
.
.
-- alan banana (alan_r_banan...), April 8th, 2004. (alan_banana) (later)

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1.....................................1
.
...
|......................................|
|......................................|
|...................O................|
|
.
.
pong sucks, i quit

-- alan banana (alan_r_banan...), April 8th, 2004. (alan_banana) (later)

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that looked like the Steve Reich Tabs site. Or something.
-- Donna Brown (summerbabe82...), April 8th, 2004. (Donna Brown) (later)

The sound of your gagging is like his Bat Sign.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...)

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), April 8th, 2004 9:10 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

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Sometimes fooling about with gal-pals ends up with you in a hospital watching your child come out of her hoohaw yo.

-- so not nickalicious (nza2342...), April 8th, 2004.

This has happened to me a couple of times. "Fooling around" often means they're not just "pals".

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), April 8th, 2004.

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You mean the Castro?
-- Aja

Did my mom ever mention me before I started posting here?

Okay, well I believe in Aja even if nobody else does.

"It's a great story, who really cares if it's true or not?"

Thanks.

I just want to know why other people don't think I am who I am?

(You've also been remarkably, and oddly, unfazed in threads that amounted to not much more than Many People Mocking You.)

I've got better things to do

Haha. Then why am I here?

If you imagine all Aja's posts being narrated by Martin Sheen as Captain Willard I think it helps.

That's exactly the thing, see -- that's very far removed from the stereotypical view of teenagers. You're supposed to have a livejournal where you whine about what Sandra meant when she said you "look very pretty today," and why that bitch must have meant you were ugly all the time otherwise, and how "pretty" is really kind of an insult, and math class is boring.

It's possible I was never a teenager but just watched a lot of TV.

I can not keep a diary. I love to write, but I hate the idea of a diary. I just rely on my memory for the good and bad moments in life. I did try to keep a diary last year, but I just wrote two pages and a month later, I ripped them out and recycled them. I did recycle them. I like the idea of recycling. So does my Science teacher. I was joking about composting and recycling with her last week.

alex cereal makes you too angry
-- Josh (kortbei...), July 15th, 2003 5:12 PM.

Answers
DUDE HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 8th, 2004.

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Thanks Shawn!
But please don't worry yourself about where my physical presence resides--just remember that I'm always in your heart, your mind, and your soul. Always.
Peace!

-- Lil' Flip (soupguil...), April 8th, 2004.

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They have Somme nerve!
Bravo! There's a memorial poppy in your name in Flanders.

-- George Smith (70743.171...), April 8th, 2004.

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Thank you. I couldn't have verdun it without you.
-- lawrence kansas (lawrence_kansa...), April 8th, 2004.

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Like this is news...
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), April 8th, 2004 3:26 PM. (later)

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well not "peddling"...
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 8th, 2004 3:45 PM. (later)

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More like "giving it away for free".
-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), April 8th, 2004 3:48 PM. (later)

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there's plenty of strongo for everyone
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 8th, 2004 3:49 PM. (later)

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The first sample is free.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), April 8th, 2004 3:50 PM. (later)

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a little jesus juice from the holy hose
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 8th, 2004 3:53 PM. (later)

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i have officially succeeded in grossing myself out
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 8th, 2004 3:53 PM. (later)

i don't know who that is
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...) (webmail), April 8th, 2004. (later)

He's the new Kurt Cobain. (At least that's what the press release said.)
-- Mary (maj23...) (webmail), April 8th, 2004. (later)

well it's been ten years, i guess it's about time
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...) (webmail), April 8th, 2004. (later)

-- Bong Davies (mr.tp_piss_hea...), April 9th, 2004 10:08 PM. (later)

not really LOL but it was funny.

-- Ask For Samantha (s@askfor...) (webmail), April 9th, 2004 1:34 PM.

Yeah keep that a secret Sam.
-- Alex in SF (clobber...) (webmail), April 9th, 2004 1:35 PM.

-- Tep (te...), April 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

that you have a lot in common?
-- Kilian (kilian.murphy2...), April 9th, 2004

not really LOL but it was funny.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), April 9th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------

IRISH PEOPLE ARE FAGGOTS
-- Lil' Fancy Kpants (william...), April 9th, 2004.

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D'oh!
-- omg (o...), April 9th, 2004 2:18 PM.

he got to shag mia farrow?
-- omg (o...)

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That poor gravestone.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), April 9th, 2004.

-- Kenan Hebert (khebert...), May 30th, 2003. (link)

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Now I'm a little nervous about that hand-me-down teddy bear I had named "Feel the Noize."

-- Tep (te...), May 30th, 2003. (link)

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at least it wasn't called "Eileen"

-- electric sound of jim (electricsoun...), May 30th, 2003. (link)

-- lowlow (lowlo...), April 9th, 2004.

-- (lotu...), April 9th, 2004.

Dream job, that.

-- ferg (fer...), April 9th, 2004.

SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OR YOUR GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!

-- (lotu...), April 9th, 2004.

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your hair dye sucks and so do you! you probably dyed your hair with bum pee.
-- dontfwithme (lotu...), April 9th, 2004 3:45 PM. (later)

"Bisexuals, share your bisexual experiences - and vice versa"
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), April 9th, 2004. (Dan Perry) (later)

popcorn
salt
crumbled feta or goat cheese
strawberries or blueberries
a drizzle of olive oil

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...) (webmail), April 9th, 2004 10:37 AM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

isn't that stretching the definition of "salad"? wait - what is the definition of salad?

-- Kim (grimstitc...) (webmail), April 9th, 2004 11:14 AM. (Kim) (later) (link)

EXACTLY

-- s1ocki

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If you prick Cher, does she not bleed?
(I just gave myself the screaming heebie-jeebies by using "Cher" and "prick" in the same sentence.)

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), April 9th, 2004 3:55 AM. (Dan Perry)

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Actually she doesn't. Some embalming fluid leaks out.
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), April 9th, 2004 3:57 AM. (Alex in SF)

-- Johnney B (john.barlo...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

The solution is to kill your grandkids. Harsh, I know.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

yeah, but you better make sure they're dead or else they'll go back in time and kill you. joke's on them, though, because then they don't exist either...but then it turns out your own children weren't yours in the first place, so they survive and they've beaten you good and proper.

-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

that was the very definition of a garbage post...

-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), April 10th, 2004.

I think there is also male volleyball player whoes last name is Aja.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

OMG!!

This has my first and Middle names. It says Aja Noelle

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

Oh, it only does if you google with "Aja Noelle" and click on the page.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

So much for the image of you carefully goig through online golf stores looking for a mildly amusing picture, only to find...

Your owner seems quite loving Aja, maybe you should have stuck it out with Diane longer before being reincarnated as a male volleyball player (is that up or down in the reincarnation business?)

Xpost

-- Jedmond (jedmon...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

I'm not a male volleyball player. I'm a female volleyball player for my school team. Volleyball season's over now so I'm on the basketball team.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

Fascinating.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

to give this post context would mean copying and pasting abt 50 posts, so just go and read it.

I'm starting to understand why there's never been a Glasgow FAP.
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), April 10th, 2004. (later)

-- Julio Desouza (juli...), April 10th, 2004.

-- Julio Desouza (juli...), April 10th, 2004.

-- omg (o...), April 10th, 2004.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), April 10th, 2004.

Are you depressed?

-- dean! (¢¼¢À¢...), April 10th, 2004.

i am!

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 10th, 2004.

i guess cinemas don't have windows.
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), April 6th, 2004 6:00 PM.

There's that one in Paris with a giant stained glass window on display inside of it. You could see it there and then jump into the window in a display of barvura, disrespect, and stupidity.
-- @d@ml (nordiF="mailto:(nordicskilla@hotmail.c">(nordicskilla@hotmail.com), April 6th, 2004 6:06 PM.

i will be yelling "EXCELSIOR!!!"
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), April 6th, 2004 6:06 PM.

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the trick is to have no shame.
-- The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylure...), April 11th, 2004. (lucylurex) (later)

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That should be a tequila company's slogan/advertising.
-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), April 11th, 2004. (miloauckerman) (later)

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the shame is the best part!!!!
-- rainy (rain...), April 11th, 2004. (rainy) (later)

That should be the slogan.
-- Tep (te...), April 11th, 2004. (ktepi) (later)

girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

-- The Lady Ms Lurex (
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nothing is really stopping you now

-- strongo hulkington (
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i have refried beans in my buttcrack as i type.

-- The Lady Ms Lurex (
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it's probably wrong that i find that queerly erotic

-- strongo hulkington (

-- mazza dazza

-- jim wentworth (wenc...), April 12th, 2004. (later)

So does "Mr. Roboto."

-- m.e.a. (flpyrw...), April 12th, 2004. (later)

---------------------------------

don't forget i fucked your girl.
-- Jody Beth Rosen

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i think of it often
-- jess

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so does she.
-- Jody Beth Rosen

------------------------------------

Now I kinda will too.
-- mark p