phrases that should be excised from music crit forever

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Using "...after a two-year absence..." in a review of any artist who is putting out a record two years after the last one, and who is known to release records that frequently. And anyway, two years is sort of the norm, right? Three or four years is when we should start wondering if the band broke up or the artist retired from music to act, or whatever.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Ummm, what if an artist has been away for x years? What's wrong with that phrase?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"his best album since Scary Monsters"

― H., Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"like x on acid" obv

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"it's official..."

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My point is this: if an artist puts out a record every two years, why say "it's been two years since artist x put out a record"? It just seems like a waste of space. With people like Liz Phair and Guns'n'Roses and the Breeders pointing out the time span between records makes more sense.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

BTW: let me correct the name of this thread, which is misleading. The phrase I started with shouldn't necessarily be excised, just used in moderation.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"At the end of the day..."

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll see your "At the end of the day...", Chris, and raise you a "Back in the day..."

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll call with "Pixies-esque".

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

dance is dead
rock is back
manufactured pop/pap
difficult second album

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

'x, anyone?'

i think i posted some of these on a previous thread of this type

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"Simon LeBon's wife"

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

yes one of the previous 800

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

pouty lips

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"Reincarnation of..."

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Strongo PAINFULLY otm.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Strokes sound like The Jam" "...sound like Television" "...sound like the Velvet Underground."

― hstencil, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Use of "Angular" to describe a guitar line.

Peeps that don't know music theory need to learn some new terms.

― ddrake, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Strokes sound like The Jam" "...sound like Television" "...sound like the Velvet Underground."

but Stooges is ok?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I hadn't heard that one, stevem, and NO IT'S NOT OKAY!

― hstencil, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Grunge Diva
Pop Diva
Teen Diva
Douchebag Diva (okay, that one can stay)

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

10/10

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never read the Strokes being compared to the Jam.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

How about the "Strokes sound like ELO?" I haven't heard that enough. It needs to be added to the lexicon. (And it's not a compliment.)

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe the strokes-jam comparisons have already been excised as per ILM's request.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"soundscapes"

― Stephen Boyle (SBoyle), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"taking _____ to a whole `nother level!'

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"Use other words please."
Words that should earn the author a slap
dumbest music journalist term
More music journalisms we are tired of hearing
PROVERBIAL and other tip offs to poor writing

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

words that annoy

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Four Words: Use Other Words Please
"Taking Things to a Whole `Nother Level!"
Commonly used phrases that inexplicably bug you

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Tracer Hand, ILX Redundancy Patrol

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

coming this fall from FOX.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

saying things are "oh-so-(anything)", such as "oh-so-obscure" or "oh-so-important"

― Maxwell von Bismarck (maxwell von bismarck), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Any description of a song that states "all..." as in "all butterflies flapping wings and rolling timpani and cattle grazing on highland moss" or "all surging choruses and uplifting chord changes" or "all 303 and breakbeats" or "all piano and acoustic guitar" or "all blood and shit and nastiness" or anything else. Fucking hate it.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick OTM.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know, i might have to steal that cattle grazing on highland moss line.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

The stuff I make up for no reason is always better than my actual fucking reviews. This is a fake review I wrote to outline the format for Stylus reviews for my 'team' (urgh) (Matt Dc said it was the best review evah)-

The Bonzo Dog Wank Band
We Love Ourselves And We Want To Die
Horseface Records
2002
{9.9}

This is a great record. I particularly love track 7, “Britney Spears Will Flash Gash For Cash”. It’s better than any songs on The Bonzo Dog Wank Bands’ first album, I’m A Great Big Fucker by about 50,000 times. “Loony Toons” is all dyspraxic harpsichord and drunken fumblings of adolescents behind Wayne Coyne’s net curtains. A perfect record.

Nick Southall

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

“Britney Spears Will Flash Gash For Cash”

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"head music..." (in the cerebral sense)

"not your usual x..."

"back to basics"

"putting a spin on...x"

― paulhw (paulhw), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Strokes... (insert any comment relating to having some redeeming value)"

"Steve Albini"

― Sasha (sgh), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Why Do Music JOURNALISTS Put RANDOM Words In CAPITALS?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

The Strokes-Jam thing is my fault and stency is cranky over it because he thinks my comparison means I'm DEAF!!! :(

haha @ tracer xpost

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm tired of eponymous being used to reference a self-titled record.
it sounds kind of five dollar and all kinds of kids have to look
it up in the dictionary and it makes me think of REM who i can't
stand.

― dz, Wednesday, 5 November 2003 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

dz, check the Trouser Press entry for...I think it's REM. Nice tangential gripe about the laziness of S/T albums.

― Chris Ott (Chris Ott), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Using "say" as a poofter casual aside to interject a gratuitous parenthetical anything.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I think that one is ready to put out to pasture. It's a colloquialism that nobody even uses in conversation!

― Broheems (diamond), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"Watch out [X], [Y] are hot on your tail!"
"[X] could be poised to snatch [Y]'s crown any day soon"

IT'S NOT A FUCKING COMPETITION YOU TURDFONDLERS

If someone doesn't know what a perfectly widely-used word like 'eponymous' means, I would suggest they look it up in the dictionary ASAP. That's what it's for, I thought.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 6 November 2003 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Turdfondler! A friend of mine actually is a 'turdfondler', or macrobiotic chemist specialising in faeces or some shit (HA!) to give her her real job title.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't this all a bit precious?

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ILM? Yes, absolutely.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

No, getting worried about stock phrases. Y'all sound like Martin Amis. Readers are less bothered I think. Accuracy > originality.

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 6 November 2003 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Y'reckon? I do a lot more reading than writing, and there are all manner of phrases that grab one by one's throast with their lazy triteness. I think 'worry' would be stretching a point though.

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"it's all speed garage beats and hoovers" (i'd like to hear this more often actually)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"farting bassline"

― minna (minna), Thursday, 6 November 2003 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Supposed to suck, right?"

"womb-like"

"The album is pants."

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Thursday, 6 November 2003 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

That last one could be rendered awesome via strategic insertion of the word "hot"

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 6 November 2003 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc500/c546/c546854x7t6.jpg

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 6 November 2003 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"New York"

― tod (tod), Thursday, 6 November 2003 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

The biggie is the condescending use of 'pop' as insult: esp. 'manufactured chart pop'.

Also, 'makes x sound as y as z'.

Particular thing from NME: using the name of a currently topical television personality, soap star or whatever as a throw away line to indicate quite how recently the thing was written eg 'more ideas than Peter Barlow's got wives'; 'Missy Elliot's fatter than Rick Waller and blinger than David Dickinson' etc etc etc.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"eponymous" was invented by rock writers i think! no one else has ever used it in the history of language

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 7 November 2003 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it was first used to refer to the Eponymous Chapters of the New Testament, which was a SOPHOMORE EFFORT by noted artist YAHWEH

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 7 November 2003 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Using "say" as a poofter casual aside to interject a gratuitous parenthetical anything.

I am entirely guilty of this.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 7 November 2003 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, you, paul mccartnery and michael jackson

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 7 November 2003 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

heh!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 7 November 2003 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

paul mccartnery, sheesh

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 7 November 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

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