You can laugh if you want to, you can say excelsior, cause your friends don't laugh...

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), June 8th, 2004. (later)

holy fuck I think I just summarized Cixous

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), June 8th, 2004. (later)

-- Lindy (scrumdidlyumpsious_0...), June 8th, 2004.

Back on topic

what's the secret indie handshake? getting embarassed and running away?
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), January 18th, 2004.

countdown to burritoville...
10...

(seriously you fucks, CLAMATO ENERGY DRINK!!!)

-- gygax! (gygax0...), June 8th, 2004.

-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), September 2nd, 2001.

-- NA (naamm...), June 8th, 2004. (Nick A.) (later)

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), June 8th, 2004.

i am a terrible person

-- hstencil (hstenci...), June 4th, 2004.

gygax! and his manbag to thread!@!!@
-- HAMBURGER NEURON GROUP (????????@JW??), June 4th, 2

-- latebloomer (posercore24...) (webmail), June 8th, 2004 4:50 PM. (latebloomer) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't you mean 'My problem is that I won't tolerate violence, Gandhi'?
-- Momus (nic...), June 8th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no
-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), June 8th, 2004.

This thread is making me tear up a little.
TEAR UP SHIT, that is. I AM HARDCORE.

-- VengaDan Perry

-- Allyzay (itappealst...), June 7th, 2004 11:49 AM. (later) (link)

only if you wanna guarantee me never going there ever again.

-- hstencil (hstenci...), June 7th, 2004 11:51 AM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

Burritoville should play some Morrissey!

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), June 7th, 2004 12:11 PM. (Nicole) (later) (link)

morrissey should play at burritoville.

I MISS NEW YORK.

-- Ian c=====8 (johni72...), June 7th, 2004 12:14 PM.

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My parents are cruel.
-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), June 8th, 2004.

-- the surface noise is one of tremendous importance to connoisseurs of histor (electricsoun...), June 8th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

so it's obvious which side of the fence i fall on

-- the surface noise is one of tremendous importance to connoisseurs of histor (electricsoun...), June 8th, 2004.

(it's the "especially" that makes it")

I'm saying this one is too close to call.

-- Neb Reyob

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 8th, 2004 6:58 PM. (Dan Perry)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), June 9th, 2004.

i guess for it to be a troll the exit wouldn't be as silent

-- ken c (pykachu10...), June 9th, 2004.

or the farting

-- ken c (pykachu10...), June 9th, 2004.

Yeah! Band sounds like Band meets band! I rule at descriptions! On acid!

Oh well, whenever a metal band goes slightly lighter, it's always assumed it's to get more popular... Just look at Isis, Cave In etc... they've gotten a lot of shit recently. Not to mention Countess and Nargaroth! Honk if you like waffles.

-- Chøg chøg chøggachøggah! Døggidøggidøggi CHØGG CHØØØG! (childis...), June 5th, 2004 3:02 PM. (Øystein H-O)

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i wasnt - ill tell you THAT
-- peter smith (plsmit...), June 8th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

deleting the history = indie guilt.
-- Ian c=====8 (johni72...), June 9th, 2004 9:57 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow. People still use compuserve?
-- deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (ilx_omg_wt...), June 8th, 2004. (later)

i figure New York's got so many plastic bags drifting down the street, once that video kid gets there his head'll be spinning. so much Beauty!!

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

the funny thing is, you guys are tripping over each other trying to be so much more clever than all of the other idiotic ILM posters, that you look much more idiotic and petty than any actual rock band who makes music, or any actual journalist who fulfills his/her duty to write a story assigned by their editor (being trust funders, you might not understand either of these concepts).

hstencil, that story appeared in the Entertainment section of CNN. Slow news day? It is appropriate content for that section. Now, go act like a condescending asswipe to all of your pathetic minions.

-- the funny thing is (funn...), June 9th, 2004.

ARRRRGH.

-- Anna (Fieldingann...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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too hot?

-- RJG (RJ...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Oh go on, just a nibble..
-- Nick (nickdastoo...), September 18th, 2001 1:00 AM.

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Ah ok. (nibble0 taste like golden choco
-- Pennysong Hanle y (red_fyschey...), September 18th, 2001 1:00 AM.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

if his sexuality is fluid, yours is gaseous.
-- RJG (RJ...), June 9th, 2004.

Date: Tue, 8 Jun 2004 14:50:48 -0700
From: Sandra ******** <********.org>
To: **************
Subject: random question: were you in my 2nd grade class?

Hi Franz,

I'm not sure I have the right Franz, but my co-worker convinced me I should write you in light of President Reagan's death. Please write back if this is you. I went to Burns Park Elementary School in 2nd grade. Our teacher, Mrs. Remnant, forced us to write Get Well cards to the president after he was shot. I remember a kid named Franz ***** who made him a drawing of the shooting and wrote "I hope you die" in big letters at the top, and then getting in trouble for it. Was that you? If so, just wanted to let you know that I never forgot that - still find it hilarious that there was an anarchist in my 2nd grade class. I was one of the quiet kids who always picked out "Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle" books for the teacher to read.

Sandra *********

P.S. In case you're wondering how I got this email, I googled your name and came up with a page that has your photo, http://www-**********, and looks like it could be you (from what I remember of your class photo).

-- Carey (flembac...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- nabisco (--...), June 9th, 2004.

How did I miss this thread???

-- Huk-El (handsomishbo...), June 9th, 2004.

Because, Huck, you were that guy.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), June 9th, 2004.

I like one really huge breast and one really tiny breast, just so that there's a range of options.

-- NA (naamm...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Also one dispenses root beer and the other chilled white wine.

-- NA (naamm...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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You have confused bosoms with bar taps.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Have a squeeze on this tap.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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I'll start:
The Hobbits - "Men And Doors"
Stereolab - "Jenny Ondioline"

-- scott seward (skotro...), June 9th, 2004 12:18 PM. (scott seward)

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), June 9th, 2004. (later)

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Your suppliers are dearer to you than your friends? That's all wrong.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 1st, 2003.

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they're actually hi-er in my list of concerns.
-- MarkH (mark_e_heste...), February 1st, 2003.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle@), June 9th, 2004 11:40 AM.

just make it up!

-- mookieproof (ole049@), June 9th, 2004 11:41 AM.

haha i think that's why matos fired meltzer in the first place

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle@), June 9th, 2004

[pic linkified because, while there is no nudity, it might not be appropriate for work]

-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Heh, I was just about to say five minutes ago, Can't wait for Jeanne to find this thread.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*curtsey*

-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Is B*O*B Charlize Theron 2099, perchance?

-- Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (barima_...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

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can't talk, tipping over

-- Morley Timmons (summerbabe82...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And bouncing right back up.

-- Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (barima_...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY
BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY
BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY

-- Yakko, Wakko and Dot (barima_warne...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

I have a thing for Moebius strips myself.
-- NA (naamm...), June 9th, 2004.

Mmm, infinite breasts.
-- NA (naamm...), June 9th, 2004.

There is the theory of the Mobius...
-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 9th, 2004.

Well now I'm just thinking of the phrase "Morpheus Breasts" which is an entirely different image altogether, thanks.
-- Allyzay (gros...), June 9th, 2004.

"take this pill and caress my breasts FOREVER, or take this one and return back through the rabbithole to heterosexuality"
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), June 9th, 2004.

Can Morpheus breasts wear those clip-on shades, though?
-- Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (barima_...), June 9th, 2004.

they were originally his nipple covers
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), June 9th, 2004.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), June 9th, 2004 3:01 PM. (Dan Perry) (link)

C-Man, there is a double standard at work in judgement of your threads versus ones like this. That is true. But the double standard came about because most of us simply don't like you.
-- martin m. (marti...), June 8th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for that, Martin.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 9th, 2004 4:12 PM. (nickdastoor) (later)

The worst has got to be those barbed penises like cats have.
-- Michael White (mwwhites...), June 9th, 2004.

"I'm hoping that's not the voice of experience" etc
-- Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (barima_...), June 9th, 2004.

Yeah, it is a sort of voice of experience. I had a cat that went into heat and ended up making sweet kitty love right outside of my bedroom window and the sounds they made were sheer terror to my youthful ears.
-- Michael White (mwwhites...), June 9th, 2004.

Nothin' brings the noise like pussies bangin'.
-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), June 9th, 2004.

(I hate myself.)
-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), June 9th, 2004.

That's okay, we love you!
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 9th, 2004.

I dunno Jeanne... Female cats in heat make an assload of noise even when there are no male cats within a hundred miles. Some of the most freakish meows I've ever heard came from she-cats in heat who couldn't get no lovin.
-- martin m. (marti...), June 9th, 2004.

They do kind of sound like aliens that want to suck the spinal fluid from your medulla oblongata, don't they?
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 9th, 2004.

Well, I'm now too scared to consider calling my next gf 'Boom Boom Kitty Fuck'.
-- Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (barima_...), June 9th, 2004.

Yes, THAT'S a recipe for disaster!

B: "Mom, Dad? This is Andrea."
B's M&D: "Hello, Andrea!"
BBKF: "RrrrrrRRrrr... RRrrrrRRrooooaaaawwwl.... RrrrrrWAAAAAAAAAAAAayuuulllllROOOOOOOOOAWRroooolllll"
B's D: "My spinal fluid!"

[END SCENE]

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 9th, 2004.

-- Michael White (mwwhites...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[...]
That's completely unfair, Michael, unless it said 'must be unattractive to cats' on the advert or something.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

x-post

Dear me,
What's this I see?
Some wack CDs and buggery!
Haste, haste
To fetch a towel;
Santorum on my upholstery!

Should be the name of your next book of verse.

that's what SHE said!

Weep, weep
For the ruined seats
Weep, weep for the stains galore
Weep, weep
For the anal musk
Why did I open my bedroom door?

x-post

I object to the use of the word "mush" in pretty much every context, particularly this one.

(It is somewhat sad that making up songs about someone I know via the Internet walking in on his roommate having anal sex with a stranger on his couch is more fun than fininshing up my work and going home.)

Anthony, you really should just move to Northridge.

It's material for your next album, Ned!

Or an RYL acoustic folk album.

Release the anal bats!

The Birthday Party just turned a whole lot more suspicious.

Your roommate at morning striding behind you
Or your couch at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of anal mush.

they're collaborating with coil now.

JOYCORE! MP3JAY! BURRITOVILLE!

-- gygax! (gygax0...), June 9th, 2004. (gygax!) (later)

I can type around 90 wpm.

if Weird Al needs a gigolo who's not afraid of catching a little bug now and then, he'll know who to call.

-- mandee (mandeewrigh...), June 9th, 2004. (later)

"We lost a lot of good patties on D-Day."

-- Huk-El (handsomishbo...), June 9th, 2004. (Horace Mann) (later)

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), June 9th, 2004.

-- ipsofacto (kat...), June 10th, 2004 10:37 AM. (ipsofacto)

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Wow, Electrical Engineering ain't what it used to be.
-- New No New Age Advanced Ambient Motor Music Almanac (ada...), June 10th, 2004 10:43 AM. (Autumn Almanac)

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), June 9th, 2004 2:44 PM. (Nicole) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK OMG JEREMY DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK OMG JOHN HOLMES DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK OMG MOMUS DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK
-- Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (barima_...), June 9th, 2004 2:48 PM. (Barima) (later)

-- TOMBOT (bringbackthedraf...), June 9th, 2004.

Well, all that 'routine about the couch' conversation / greensleeves above belongs here, so it does...

I mean, they only found his wife's body in the refrigerator. Why would that make him a suspect?

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 10th, 2004.

Answers

hey it could have been any type of meat. he probably doesn't do the shopping.

-- Robbie Lumsden (9904464...), June 10th, 2004.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), June 10th, 2004.

wasn't me!!!

-- HAMBURGER NEURON GROUP (○☆♥♋∼◎↑Ω...), June 10th, 2004.

There was no context to that post.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), June 10th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

cake!
-- jel -- (freeduni...), June 10th, 2004 1:43 PM. (jel)

When the dogs do smell her, will she smell alone?

-- Neb Reyob (fiestasandsiestas[nospam...), June 10th, 2004. (later)

When I saw the Smiths, Morrissey said that he wished that the guy who built the stage were dead. So, I think he says that a lot.

-- dave225 (adspac...) (webmail), June 10th, 2004 11:54 AM. (Dave225) (later) (link)

From the New York Times:

June 10 - British singer Morrissey proclaimed yesterday to a patisserie full of bewildered customers, "I hope that the man who injected the cream into this eclair is DEAD!"

-- dave225 (adspac...), June 10th, 2004.

-- HAMBURGER NEURON GROUP (??©?~?!=?@JW??) (webmail), June 10th, 2004 7:44 AM. (ex machina) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

emo kids don't usually have tats of a dog with Communist Party insignias buttfucking a prostitute, Jon.

-- hstencil (hstenci...) (webmail), June 10th, 2004 7:45 AM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

524 questions answered, it's calling me selfish now, geez.
-- jel -- (freeduni...), June 10th, 2004 11:08 AM. (jel) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

in my selfish rage, I deleted my account. Maybe I'll start again, but I dunno.
-- jel -- (freeduni...), June 10th, 2004 11:35 AM. (jel) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

am making new profile now.
-- jel -- (freeduni...), June 10th, 2004 11:46 AM. (jel) (later) (link)

BATMAN: Damn, where the hell did I put that bat suit?
ROBIN: Do you think Cat Woman digs me?
BATMAN: I swear I left it in the closet in the Bat Cave.
ROBIN: Don't swear; you're a role model. Maybe I should write her poetry.
BATMAN: Role models are human; and, therefore, flawed.
ROBIN: That's no excuse. Children look up to you.
BATMAN: What makes you think Cat Woman digs you?
ROBIN: That's what Alfred said.
BATMAN: How would Alfred know?
ROBIN: When was the last time Alfred was wrong?
BATMAN: Good point.
ROBIN: Thanks.
BATMAN: Think he knows where my bat suit is?
ROBIN: Probably. Why don't you ask him?
BATMAN: I would, but he's with Cat Woman right now.
ROBIN: Do you think she digs me?
BATMAN: I don't know. Why don't you write her some poetry?
ROBIN: I'm not a poet. I'm just some lame sidekick who wears funny, ugly clothes and a stupid mask that barely conceals my vacuous identity.
BATMAN: Don't take it so hard.
ROBIN: Why not?
BATMAN: I don't know. It just seemed like the right thing to say.
ROBIN: Why say anything?.
BATMAN: I have to. I'm a role model.

-- martin m. (marti...), June 10th, 2004. (mushrush) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Um, vadgemite?
-- martin m. (marti...), June 11th, 2004 10:07 AM. (mushrush)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quiche
-- the surface noise is so overwhelming that it renders the contents of the re (electricsoun...), June 11th, 2004 10:08 AM. (electricsound)

-- VengaDan Perry

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

will he be buried with the raelettes, ancient egyptian style?

Allow me me to speak for almost every african american music fan and critic smart enough not to pay attention to this site:

Go straightr to hwll, you bougie smart alect bastard.

-- brotherman (bobb...), June 11th, 2004.

-- Helen (hellengoo...), June 11th, 2004.

http://www.georgethomasjr.com/film/unbelievabletruth.htm

A day may come when I make that announcement, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY

-- Aragonan (ronan...), June 11th, 2004 3:26 AM. (Ronan) (later)

...and is it true that the singer for Cud had 4 stomachs?
-- peepee (citywideva...) (webmail), June 11th, 2004. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can confirm I have three hands. One for plucking, one for fretting and one for scratching my arse.
Kev (Hopper)

-- Kev (Hopper) (kevhopper@dsl.pipex.com) (webmail), June 11th, 2004. (link)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

bag of chips would be nice.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), June 11th, 2004.

-- jel -- (freeduni...), June 11th, 2004 6:40 PM. (jel) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

b-but panto season is months away!

-- stevem (bluesk...), June 11th, 2004 6:48 PM. (blueski) (later)

-- luna

Answers
dude, that's not fair
-- Jon in R'lyeh (○☆♥♋∼◎↑Ω...), June 11th, 2004 8:42 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leslie, that depends. Are you a fucking retard or just a retard?
-- martin m. (marti...), June 11th, 2004 8:42 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps she's fucking a retard.
-- Hey Ho, Off to Hell I Go (ne...), June 11th, 2004 8:47 PM. (later

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), June 11th, 2004 10:36 AM. (Ned) (later) (link)

"faux pas" makes it sound like "oh dear how'd that get in there, how embarrassing"

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), June 11th, 2004 12:20 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)

"I'm sorry, I was walking along quite handily and I tripped, goodness, I'm awfully clumsy, and it seems that my penis had become lodged in your anal aperture... do you mind terribly?"

-- luna (luna_cee...) (webmail), June 11th, 2004 12:24 PM. (luna.c) (later) (link)

....

"anal aperture"!!

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), June 11th, 2004 4:37 PM. (Oops) (later) (link)

william tell's anal aperture

-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), June 11th, 2004 4:38 PM. (ken c) (later) (link)

"The death metal band Anal Aperture will be opening for Demon Dong tonight at the Rusty Barnacle"

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), June 11th, 2004 4:41 PM. (Oops) (later) (link)

It's gotta be in that big monster-truck-show-at-the-arena voiceover voice though:

"Friday at the Municipal Collesium... ANAL APERTURE (aperature, aperature). With special guest, AMY GRANT (grant grant)."

-- martin m.

It was the inclusion of Amy Grant that did it for me.

when I saw this thread title, I was like "oh no, her tits exploded!"
-- hstencil (hstenci...), June 11th, 2004.

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), June 12th, 2004.

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I don't even know how to respond to that.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), June 12th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think you should say "gadzooks!"
-- Curt1sss (sevenxvii...), June 12th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oops, you have a magic way with words.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 12th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was thinking more along the lines of "Zounds" or "Criminey!"
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), June 12th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or, upon reading yet another post by someone who prefers contemporary hip-hop to late 70s/early 80s post-punk:
"curses, foiled again!!"

-- Eisbä² (llamasfu...), June 12th, 2004.

Sad to say I can think of more songs that start with bong hits, than start with gong hits.

-- Jedmond (jedmon...), June 12th, 2004. (later)

1030 - 1940 - scratchy, rough, low bandwidth, warm, general unintelligability

OMG SLSK CONNEKSHUN NOW!

-- gem (gemily7...), June 13th, 2004. (later)

Gem, language is fluid, not static. The phrase "hate on" is a recent development, but a very useful one. Try it out for a few weeks just in your daily internal monologue and I think you'll find it has a subtlety to it that "hate" all by itself lacks. I can "hate on" small thing that I don't actually-permanently-dismissively hate: to "hate on," it seems to me, is to express displeasure without claiming any permanence for the feeling. I might hate on an apple pie you brought me just now if I were not in the mood for apple pie. It would be rash & untrue to say that I hate apple pie, though. I like it fine. I just don't want one right now, hence why I hated on your apple pie. Sorry about that brah.

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), June 13th, 2004. (later)

Observe his curving buttocks and contemplate the downy softness therein.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 17th, 2002 1:27 PM.

haha WTF Ned??

-- Ian c=====8 (johni72...), June 13th, 2004. (later)

and buttsex

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), June 13th, 2004. (later)

-- Jon in R'lyeh (¡Û¡Ù¢¾♋¡­¡Ý¡è¥...), June 13th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wait, i drew a penis on the cake
-- Jon in R'lyeh (¡Û¡Ù¢¾♋¡­¡Ý¡è¥...), June 13th, 2004. (later)

I got one the other day whose random closing sentence was full of fragile beauty.

-- Jordan (jordan...), June 13th, 2004 5:59 PM. (Jordan) (later)

Does "barely legal cum dumpsters" qualify as fragile beauty?

-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), June 13th, 2004 6:23 PM. (miloauckerman) (later)

-- Momus (nic...), June 13th, 2004.

-- Fergal (fu...), June 13th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, fucking shit cunt bastard motherfucker etc.
-- Fergal (fu...), June 13th, 2004.

my brother wanted to be a gumball
-- jibberjabber (fdjklfjdslkfdjkldfsjkl!jdfjkdfsajkl...), June 11th, 2004 12:08 PM. (later)

-- Andrew Farrell

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A hyena
-- Madchen (madchen_in_unifor...), June 14th, 2004 4:31 PM. (Madchen) (later)

it really is funnier when you know 'em

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 14th, 2004. (later)

Have fun at the TSA checkpoint!

-- Elvis Telecom (quartzcit...), June 14th, 2004. (later)

OH I WILL

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 14th, 2004. (later)

-- Andrew L (theplum...), August 22nd, 2003.

-- bill page (cooltobefa...), June 15th, 2004. (later)

Momus: Good morning, Goodmansdaughter! You're up early!
Bjork: Yes, I've been up to the top of the mountain, screaming into the wind. I wrote three new songs about the total intensity of love, and how your cowardliness didn't live up to it. Then I got very very drunk and had an affair with a Moroccan shepherd.
Momus: Oh, I see. Well, I missed out on quite a bit by being here asleep.
Bjork: No, I was sleeping too, that was just my dream.
Momus: Do you have any plans for today?
Bjork: Well, I thought I'd go to Seven and buy some improbable clothes, check out the galleries in Chelsea, then go up to the top of the mountain, scream into the wind, write three new songs about the total intensity of love and how your cowardliness doesn't live up to it, then get very very drunk and have an affair with a Moroccan shepherd.
Momus: Oh, okay.

-- Momus (nic...), June 15th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Momus, you've just described another trustfund lost in translation.

-- maria b (maria...), June 15th, 2004. (later) (link)

-----------

Look, here's the thing. LA is a place where, more than any other place I've been, there is a lot of shallowness. In this sense, I FEEL SORRY for Ned. It's clear from the amount of time he spends on here that he *wants* to be out in Sunset Strip doing cool stuff, but instead he's stuck on here bitching about me. It's a shame. But listen Ned, I still get invites to various places. I got one this morning in fact - to The Viper Room (it's surprisingly small BTW). I'm forwarding it to some LA friends and perhaps you would like to go? Seriously, it would do you good to get out and have fun. Just cut your hair, jog a few miles and make an effort eh? Let's see if we can get you a life so you won't have to be on here all the time slagging me off while your wee online mates giggle like schoolgirls behind their computers. I'm reaching out Ned. I'm here to help.

-- C-Man (cma...), June 15th, 2004 11:56 AM.

-- martin m. (mushrus...), June 15th, 2004 7:28 PM. (later)

"So NaNoWriMo is where you write a 50,000 word novel, like you just do it and you don't worry about it being shitty, because you've just got to do it and not put it off for the rest of your life, right? Okay, so I had this idea for it, it would be like the Bhagavad-Gita but set in New York City after 9/11, so I would get to do all this research into Hindu epics and New York City, which I love, right? Like the Gita was great when I studied it in college, except I don't remember much of it, but there have got to be some good story lines and a bunch of parallels that I can exploit, right? Like Shiva! Destroyer of Worlds...Trade Centers!"

Him: "So is the point for it to be shitty?"

-- teeny (teen...), October 31st, 2003 1:17 PM. (teeny)

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), June 15th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Trayce

-- toppa (sum41bumm...) (webmail), June 15th, 2004 5:05 PM. (later) (link)

-- chaki_burger (chaki_mc_chak...), June 15th, 2004.

a barrel

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), June 15th, 2004 5:21 PM. (dubplatestyle)

From the charltonlido america trip thread...

(...)

driving through the mountains in PA can be really beautiful.

(...)

-- colette (a2lett...), June 15th, 2004 7:06 AM. (a2lette)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

visit lovely willkes-barre/scranton, gareth

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), June 15th, 2004 7:23 AM. (dubplatestyle)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because you're the stripper?
-- New No New Age Advanced Ambient Motor Music Almanac (ada...), June 16th, 2004 10:27 AM. (Autumn Almanac)

aaron neville is suddenly cooing in my ear
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), June 15th, 2004 3:37 PM. (amateurist) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Holding back the yeeeeears...
-- AdamL :') (adamrl@gmail.com), June 15th, 2004 3:39 PM. (

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PEOPLE SHOULD EMAIL ME TOO TO KEEP ME OFF OF ILX SO I DON'T GET IN TROUBLE AT WORK.
-- Comment dits-on...eh... le NA? (naamm...), June 15th, 2004 3:40 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PLEEZE.
-- Comment dits-on...eh... le NA? (naamm...), June 15th, 2004 3:41 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"the fabric of our lives"
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), June 15th, 2004 3:41 PM.

-- Old Fart!!! (oldfart_s...), February 11th, 2004 12:48 AM. (oldfart_sd)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or perhaps just a "thumbs up" icon!!!!
-- Old Fart!!! (oldfart_s...), February 11th, 2004 12:49 AM. (oldfart_sd)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Graded thus:
:( OMG WTF LOL
:( OMG WTF
:( OMG
:(
:)
:) OMG
:) OMG WTF
:) OMG WTF LOL
-- DJ Mencap (lackofinteres...), February 11th, 2004 12:58 AM. (DJ Mencap)

in my head all three of you are sat round the same computer taking turns to write stuff :)
-- CarsmileSteve (carsmilestev...), June 15th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, Scotland can only support one computer.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 15th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does it use magnetic cores? Powered by North Sea Oil?
-- Ricardo (boyofbadger...), June 15th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes. I have to go now - the finance minister wants a turn.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 15th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes but my opinions on both your football team and your comedians = "ultimately they are not really up to scratch"
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), June 16th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exactly! ONE OF US!
-- Matt DC (runmd...), June 16th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shit.
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), June 16th, 2004. (later)

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say...

-- Huk-El (handsomishbo...), June 16th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You's a HO!"
-- Ludacris (djperr...), June 16th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jason, covered in piss, obv...
-- CarsmileSteve (carsmilestev...), June 16th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"SIT Stuart!"
-- Anna (Fieldingann...), June 16th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is crazed.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 16th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does it not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Britain is the best country in the world?
-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 16th, 2004.

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), June 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That is so going in my "what do you want to be when you grow up" response.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), June 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's all so clear now.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm having one of those moments where I re-read what i worte, and what I was responding to, and realise that I didn't really grasp what was being said...

*cringe cringe*

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), June 11th, 2004. (later)

-- PJ Miller (pjmiller6...), June 16th, 2004. (later) (link)

Gaijin bushido
Vanquishes all before me
Especially pies

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 16th, 2004 1:05 PM. (Dan Perry)

-- Aaron Grossman (aajjg...), September 5th, 2002.

-- MarkH

What Were Some Of The Books Your Parents Had When You Were A Kid (And Did Any Of Them Freak You Out?)

Five key food groups:
1. Sheep
2. Goat
3. Horse
4. Cow
5. Sumptious Bulgarian Virgin Peasant Girl

-- Matt DC (runmd...), June 16th, 2004 1:04 PM. (Matt DC) (later)

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), June 16th, 2004.

-- Mikey G (...), June 16th, 2004 12:48 PM. (later)

-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...), June 16th, 2004 10:51 AM.

-- VengaDan Perry

I mean come on guys ;)

-- Trayce

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), June 16th, 2004 5:59 PM. (spencermfi) (later) (link)

Does my exclamation point make me look excited?

-- Gear? (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), June 16th, 2004 6:00 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)

I used to think the main character from Beverly Hills Cop was called "Asshole Foley".

-- AdamL :')

-- 0r4l R0b3rt5 (oral.robert...), June 17th, 2004.

Wow, who would have guessed that the guy who paraded into the house in a leopard-print thong was a cunt?

-- VengaDan Perry (djperry@post.), June 17th, 2004 3:06 AM.

MEDIC!

"Hello, Police? There's a huge fight going on and I'm worried someone will get hurt"

"Where is this, please?"

"ON THE TELLY"

-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 17th, 2004 3:09 PM. (nickdastoor) (later)

portugal.
-- g-kit (gregkitte...), June 17th, 2004 3:19 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sven is rubbing off on him. As it were.
-- Archel (dilettant...), June 17th, 2004.

chicago: colder;
madison: much colder yet;
up north: oh my gawd

it's like Cold Miser
doing Jack Frost's polar bear
(all on Gear!'s sad couch)

-- Begs2Differ (cibul...) (webmail), June 17th, 2004 10:31 AM. (Begs2Differ) (later) (link)

IT'S A COMEDY
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), June 17th, 2004. (Oops)

IT'S URINE.
-- hstencil (hstenci...) (webmail), June 17th, 2004. (hstencil)

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...) (webmail), June 17th, 2004. (tracerhand)

-- stockholm cindy (theundergroundhom...) (webmail), June 17th, 2004 9:45 PM. (Jody Beth Rosen) (later) (link)

This thread's shaping up to be most excellent, ja.

Curtis Mayfield is one of the most exceptional singer / songwriters of the 20th Century. There are three truly great socially-conscious songwriters of the 1970s and Mayfield is an equal with his more heralded colleagues Wonder and Gaye. All three managed to write deeply spiritual songs, powerful songs that attacked society's faults and beautiful love songs. Aside from the brilliance of the major hits Superfly and Freddie's Dead, Mayfield is also responsible for r&b gems like If There's A Hell Below and Do Do Wap Is Strong In Here amongst many, many others.
Timeless, a true classic.

Personal favourite song: People Get Ready - Mayfield said it straight: there's a train a-comin'...you don't need no baggage, you just get on board.

-- Tim Roxborogh (ti...), July 24th, 2001.

Dunno, I'd be suspicious if a train conductor insisted I didn't need any baggage. Like, where are we going, Belsen?
-- dave q (scrape10...), July 24th, 2001.

i mean my "best/favorite electronic labels of all time" would all just be jungle labels anyway
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

actually it would probably be something like:
1. reinforced
2. locked on
3. moving shadow
4. sub base
5. formation

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

'How dare anyone dispute Vahid's Dud list. For he is the ultimate arbiter of all electronic music, and you must genuflect before his omniscience.'

PAY ATTENTION

-- vahid (vfoz...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

actually strongo your favorites are more like this:
1. locked on
2. reinforced
3. sub base
4. moving shadow
5. formation

my omniscience told me.

-- vahid (vfoz...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

HE'S RIGHT
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

your not-so-*ECLECTIC* choices indicate linear thinking.
-- vahid (vfoz...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

Tell me what mine are, Vahid.
-- Broheems (electrifyingmoj...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

hey, i know what i likes
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

Broheems:
1. positiva
2. EMI germany
3. deconstruction
4. ministry of sound
5. ZYX

-- vahid (vfoz...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

do me vahid
-- gaz (mullygrubbe...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

You got it, vahid!! I still have my ZYX Paul Lekakis twelves kicking around here somewhere.
The man is indeed omniscient, folks.

-- Broheems (electrifyingmoj...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

me too!
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

me please
-- Barry Bruner (brune...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

gaz
1. rotterdam recs
2. planet core prods
3. industrial strength
4. prolekult
5. raver baby

-- vahid (vfoz...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

THE ORACLE IS SLEEPY
-- vahid (vfoz...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

i'm flattered
-- gaz (mullygrubbe...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

This is like when Ramosi could predict what porn people liked. Only not.
-- Tim Finney (tfinne...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

There are fussy porn fans?
-- noodle vague (noodle_vagu...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

you betcha
-- are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsoun...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

So how is he live? Worth seeing? Should I expect a bunch of "hand holding" and "blessing bicycles?" Or...?
-- kickitcricket (kickitcricke...), June 18th, 2004 11:08 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he played my college and has a posse of young n' faithfuls in white shirts with white feathers glued on thier shoulders.
i hate jesus. the music was okay though.
-- emma cleveland (clevele...), June 18th, 2004 11:12 AM.

June thought Ward
Was gonna leave her
She gave him
A cleaner Beaver
LYSOL DOUCHE!
-- Tep

-- Tep (icaneatglas...), June 18th, 2004. (later)

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 18th, 2004. (later) (link)

[...]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he looks like the lady in the radiator.

-- jed_ (colin_o_har...), June 18th, 2004. (later) (link)

and then "and vincent gallo" right after

-- Begs2Differ

Who knew that a vagina that smells like antiseptic was so integral to car safety!

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), June 18th, 2004 5:59 PM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)

"Remember kids, buckle up... AND DOUCHE!"

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), June 18th, 2004 6:00 PM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)

Thanks, Officer Overly Friendly!

-- Tep

boom shackalacka
-- Booby Prizewinner (aaronh...), June 18th, 2004.

Answers
FOR FUCK'S SAKE
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 18th, 2004.

the shame, the eyebrows, the potato-like sheen
-- hstencil (hstenci...), June 18th, 2004 10:21 PM

xxx-post Ah 'The Locking of The Avril Thread' (1732); one of Poussin's best.
His extraordinry anticipation of the use of Raggets and Racoons in
later art history is praisewothy in itself. And of course, up until then Avril had not been considered a fit subject for painting by the academies, but Poussin broke that rule much as John D breaks Momus' face in the foreground. Also Poussin felt it necessary to enlarge Calum's willy, but this tiny detail naturally gets lost amid the melee.
-- de (ke...), June 19th, 2004 12:13 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now we've gotta start over!
-- Tep (icaneatglas...), June 19th, 2004 12:11 PM. (ktepi)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want
To keep your fun,
Rid your oven
Of tha bun!
LYSOL DOUCHE
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), June 19th, 2004 2:40 PM. (Dan Perry)

-- Begs2Differ

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Skeet is beauty, and beauty skeet.
-- Sick Mouthy (auspiciousfishN...), June 19th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you sure do love semen
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), June 19th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morning Jess.
-- Sick Mouthy (auspiciousfishN...), June 19th, 2004.

-- NickB (nic...), June 18th, 2004 1:27 PM. (later)

luigi nono - "fragmente - stille, an ditioma / hay que caminar... sonando" (perf. arditti string quartet)
giya kancheli / sofyia gubaidulina - "styx / viola concerto" (perf. marinsky theater orchestra, yuri bashmet, valery gergiev, etc.)
alfred schnittke - "works for cello and piano" (perf. alexander ivashkin & irina schnittke)
"mutter modern" (various 20th century violin concertos performed by anne-sophie mutter)

and, uh, pj harvey - "uh huh her"

-- you will be shot (metaeverythin...), June 19th, 2004. (later)

The Scene: Jess's 9th Grade World Cultures Class

The Players: Jess & Nameless Girl

Nameless Girl: Who are you listening to?
Jess: The Smiths
Nameless Girl: Who is that?
Jess: Um, it's the band that Morrissey used to be in...
Nameless Girl: EW he is so fucking GAY!!

Fin

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...) (webmail), June 17th, 2004 2:41 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later) (link)

why did gretel killeen call her daughter EPIPHANY??? that is what i really must know.
-- The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylure...), June 20th, 2004. (lucylurex) (1 trackback) (later)

Answers
Oh what?? Now I hate her suddenly.

-- Lo Boob Almanac (ada...), June 20th, 2004. (Autumn Almanac) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you LIKED HER/????
-- The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylure...), June 20th, 2004. (lucylurex) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it sounds like something kath and kim would dream up.
-- The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylure...), June 20th, 2004. (lucylurex) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hopefully because she realised how much she annoys people and that thus she should not procreate again and had her tubes tied at the same time as they were whipping poor recipe-for-needing-therapy epiphany out of her womb.
-- gem (gemily7...), June 20th, 2004. (trisk) (later)

-- Lo Boob Almanac (ada...), June 19th, 2004 12:36 PM. (Autumn Almanac)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We've covered this! They want their choice of names without a string of 72's after or whathaveyou.
-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...), June 19th, 2004 12:38 PM. (roxymuzak)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bah. Endless creativity can be had by selecting a random word and adding 'pants'.
-- Lo Boob Almanac (ada...), June 19th, 2004 12:45 PM. (Autumn Almanac)

-- Sami Jyherlkayga (grot...), June 19th, 2004 12:55 AM.

-- AaronHz

No wait, Dorothy Parker & Her Hilariously Inept Circle Of Gen-X Actors Who Look Like They Are Peter Brady Playing George Washington. Hahahahahaha!!! That movie is comedy gold!!!!

-- scott seward (skotro...), June 20th, 2004 1:06 AM.

Stage 3 - use same method to gain an erection as you're fondled by a woman who's gyrating on some sort of dildo thing, until you climax and chop her head off with an axe.

-- Andrew (n...), October 2nd, 2002.

i know someone who really does this. a lot. it's awful.

More proof that time (and astute research) will eventually reveal Moore for what he is.

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), June 20th, 2004 3:18 PM. (roger adultery) (later)

a woman

-- Symplistic (shmuelm4...), June 20th, 2004 3:27 PM. (shmuel) (later)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), June 21st, 2004 9:03 PM. (later)

that you position yourself
as champion of new things!

Your refusal to accept
that "I contain multitudes"

(as good old Uncle Walt
once put it)

is such quaint old-country hogwash
that it'd be charming

if you didn't slander Heidegger
in the bargain.

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), June 21st, 2004 5:47 PM. (J0hn Darn1elle) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wait I think I got a rhymin' one:
Nobody hatin'!
it's just ol' Momus, prevaricatin'.

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), June 21st, 2004 5:47 PM. (J0hn Darn1elle) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

let's cover c-man
with our semen
-- ken c (pykachu10...), June 21st, 2004 5:53 PM. (ken c) (later)

-- hstencil (hstenci...) (webmail), June 21st, 2004 11:34 AM. (hstencil) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), June 21st, 2004 2:39 PM.

-- dog latin (doglati...), June 21st, 2004. (later) (link)

-- g--ff (misterhungr...), June 21st, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maybe she was possessed?
-- jel -- (freeduni...), June 21st, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or having sex with a ghost.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), June 21st, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

who you gonna call?
-- jel -- (freeduni...), June 21st, 2004.

( tho that entire thread, really)

I like the way he says 'whatever' and 'd'you know what I mean?'.

-- cozen

Does he say it like Nenah Cherry?

-- VengaDan Perry

Oh thank you Dan for making my night with this simple little gem.

http://ilx.port5.com/botched.jpg

-- Momus (nic...), June 22nd, 2004.

-- Tep (icaneatglas...) (webmail), June 21st, 2004. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If that's true it's awful.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), June 22nd, 2004 2:24 PM. (later)

-- Huk-El (handsomishbo...), June 22nd, 2004. (Horace Mann) (later)

Answers

cool, i can't wait to see this!

-- s1ocki (slytus...), June 22nd, 2004. (slutsky) (later)

-- stockholm cindy (theundergroundhom...), June 22nd, 2004. (later) (link)

wait I'm sorry I think I just made that shit up for no reason at all. fuck.
-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), June 20th, 2004 8:20 PM.

-- scott seward (skotro...), June 22nd, 2004.

"I'd like to fuck her glasses off."
-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...), June 22nd, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

squeezable
-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...), June 22nd, 2004.

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...), June 22nd, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope she would have stopped a few months ago.

-- Sick Mouthy (auspiciousfishN...), June 22nd, 2004.

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), June 23rd, 2004 9:26 PM. (Gear!)

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), June 23rd, 2004 9:05 PM.

People (FRAT RATS) yell at me from balaconies when I ride by on my bike.
Mostly: "FAG"

-- Jon Williams (william...), January 26th, 2004.

-- sexyPrancer (jjjjjjjj...), June 22nd, 2004. (later)

-- CarsmileSteve (carsmilestev...), June 23rd, 2004 12:38 PM. (CarsmileSteve) (later)

I put together a number of threads and made a product out of it.

http://www.cafeshops.com/go_quick.11716560

Its not meant to be a profit making exercise, just a 'nice to have' if you want one.

Basically, its the threads "Car alarm", "Trucker hat/couch", "Four eared cat", "Sing House of Jealous" and on a darker tip, "Man on the roof".

Its $18, which is pretty much base price for this on Cafepress.

Unless anyone violently objects, its there if anyone wants one. It's not meant to be a 'harry potter' scale. I dunno.

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), June 23rd, 2004 7:10 AM. (later)

-- the bellefox (pinefo...), June 23rd, 2004 12:10 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

its a drexciya remix
-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), June 23rd, 2004 12:15 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

imagine a krome and time break laid over a 909, and then a filtered 303. its sort of like that
-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), June 23rd, 2004 12:16 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you can spot the dsp though, thats the giveaway
-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), June 23rd, 2004 12:17 PM. (later)

alright, alright, you caught me

YOU CAN'T DENY THE MANDELBROT KITTIE!

-- donut bitch (do...), March 25th, 2004. (link)

-- cutty (holle...), June 23rd, 2004.

There was a debate about the Iraq war on a toilet wall in Oxford that several people had added to and took up almost the entire vertical space of the wall. Half way down someone had written I LIKE BRITNEY SHE HAS NICE TITS. It was like reading ILX.
-- Matt DC, June 23rd, 2004.

i am
-- s1ocki (slytus...), June 23rd, 2004 3:35 PM. (slutsky) (later)

Perfectly Beastie.

The first three minutes are fantastic and convincingly disco, but then it loses me a bit when it shifts into more of a "Paint It Black" kind of thing. The final third of the song gets a little better, but it's nowhere near as good as that first part.

How do the lot of you feel about this?
-- Matthew Perpetua (fluxequalsra...)

(later in the thread)

Everyone at work tells me it sounds like Cliff Richard and the Shadows.
-- Andrew L (theplum...)

(and even later)

It's funny, I like the ppl who post on B+S threads much more than I like the ppl who post on the Noize threads - I still sort've live in hope that one day the Pinefox will get into Lightning Bolt...
-- Andrew L (theplum...)

[I'm not sure why this is so funny but I'm seriously headed down a steep giggle-slope from it.]

Especially when (and after) Nick says 'he needs it for a FILM'

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/0/11716560_F_tn.jpg

-- stockholm cindy (theundergroundhom...), June 24th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's a "zip code"?
-- Donkey Dick (dnkydc...), June 23rd, 2004 7:21 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never take your dick out at a party
-- omg (o...), June 23rd, 2004 7:25 PM.

-- Momus (nic...), June 23rd, 2004.

'I'm just imaginging the whole thing filmed in Orson Welles style: the presses roaring, the books being stacked in boxes, a dissolve shot to people picking up newspapers with the gigantic headline 'EXCELSIOR!', another dissolve shot to 'Citizen' Grout lighting up a cigar and puffing his elbows out and gazing upwards, an insert of dollar bills fluttering from the sky, shots of people hurrying home with the book, reading it, taking out their M0untain G0ats records and throwing them on the fire, then a scene of a man wearing a trucker hat chiselling some names off a plaque in the Pantheon. Finally, two inscrutable images: an insert of a four-eared kitten, followed by a shot of an old man on his deathbed, leaning up towards the camera and croaking 'Excelsior!' before falling back, lifeless.' )

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm not offended, but i'm concerned for your mental health.
-- The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylure...), June 24th, 2004 7:55 PM. (lucylurex)

-----
Hibbert: All right, where would you kids like to eat tonight?
Kid 1: The Spaghetti Laboratory!
Kid 2: Face Stuffers!
Kid 3: Professor P. J. Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great
American Steakery!
Hibbert: [chuckles] Well, what about this place? [stops the car] "Moe's".
[inside, the usual crowd sit around at the bar]
[Hibbert opens the door]
Barney: Aah! Natural light! Get it off me...get it off me!
Hibbert: Oh, I'm sorry: I thought this was a family restaurant.
Moe: Oh, it is...it is. Just uh, uh, pull them stools up to the pool table.
Kid 2: Daddy, this place smells like tinkle.
Hibbert: Mm hmm. I think we'll just go to the Texas Cheesecake Depository.
-----

-- Elvis Telecom (quartzcit...), June 24th, 2004 3:48 AM.

-- nickalicious

Daddy was a soldier he taught me about freedom
Peace and all the great things that we take advantage of
Once I fed the homeless, I'll never forget
I look upon their faces as I treated them with respect
And

This is my Vietnam
I'm at war
Life keeps on dropping bombs
And I keep score

Momma was a lunatic, she liked to push my buttons
She said I wasn't good enough, but I guess I wasn't trying
Never like school that much, they tried to teach me better
But I just wasn't hearing it because I thought
I was already pretty clever
And

This is my Vietnam
I'm at war
They keeps on dropping bombs
And I keep score

This is my Vietnam
I'm at war
They keep on dropping bombs
And I keep score

What do you expect from me?
What am I not giving you?
What could I do for you to make me OK in your eyes?

This is my Vietnam
I'm at war
They keep on dropping bombs
And I keep score

This is my Vietnam
I'm at war
Life keeps on dropping bombs
And I keep score

This is my Vietnam
This is my Vietnam

-- hexxyAnswers (hhhhhhhhhhhh...), June 24th, 2004 12:34 PM.

Illuminating.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), June 24th, 2004 12:41 PM.

Pink's Vietnam involves getting Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher and having several very successful albums. WHERE IS HER PARADE??
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), June 24th, 2004 12:52 PM.

amg credits the song to perry/pink, so pink probably wrote the lyrics.

-- Huk-El (handsomishbo...) (webmail), June 24th, 2004 12:30 PM. (Horace Mann) (later) (link)

it'll be like hearts and minds but with paris hilton and tara reid playing the napalmed vietnamese children.

What kind of credentials do Dashboard Confessional have that they could customize a Honda Civic? Do they have an "honest and gritty talent" for selecting attractive hubcaps?

Let's also consider the reverse scenario; I want an LP recorded by Jeff Gordon.

-- ben tausig (btausi...) (webmail), June 24th, 2004 4:43 PM. (datageneral) (later) (link)

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), June 24th, 2004.

Except Tara gets replaced by Nicole Ritchie.

-- stockholm cindy (theundergroundhom...), June 24th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i thought he was Scottish
-- Sir Chaki McBeer III (chaki.tim...), June 25th, 2004 10:21 AM. (chaki)

-- Sasha (ahmar...), June 25th, 2004.

I suppose it does seem a little odd in retrospect, but I already had a reputation for being a complete nutter among my friends.

-- He wants to be me (masonicboo...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004 3:59 AM. (kate) (later) (link)

That first line is giving me the giggles. It's like you had an addiction a la "I carried a razor everywhere, in case I happened upon some coke"

-- girls are gay (hoboke...), June 25th, 2004 1:44 AM.

That picture is awesome, though. He looks like he's at a Bar Mitzvah in 1983. I think he's a penne man who's afraid of the dark.
-- Sara Sherr (sar...), June 25th, 2004 1:49 AM.

-- msp (...), June 25th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How about a five hour date with a robotic blow-job machine made out of candy, with the soul of a magic genie that will grant you any three wishes you can think of trapped inside it?
-- David Allen (Davidalle...), June 25th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yeah, no shit, Momus.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), June 25th, 2004.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004 8:13 AM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004 12:33 PM. (roxymuzak) (later) (link)

Answers

a midget?

-- stockholm cindy (theundergroundhom...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004 12:38 PM. (Jody Beth Rosen) (later) (link)

No shit. Fucking walked up to my desk and took it while I was on the phone!

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004 12:39 PM. (roxymuzak) (later) (link)

- dude to my right keeps trying to show me footage and saying "lookit how funny this is!" and I'm all "yeah, a shot of a purse, great..."
- told to come in early today to get a jump start on things, and of course I'm the only one who shows up before 10
- rumor-mongering all over the place in this office and I don't want to be a part of it, which makes me persona non-grata apparently
- DECAF!!
- dude to my right, he's a midget as well

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004 12:41 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)

frisk him for Coke

-- Penelope_111

-- quincie (quinci...), June 25th, 2004.

You can park UP DICK CHENEY'S ASS!!!

-- quincie (quinci...), June 25th, 2004.

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), June 25th, 2004

---------------------------------------------------------------

you invited me over to pick up your dry-cleaning!!!!
-- phil-two (philtw...), June 25th, 2004.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), June 26th, 2004.

-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004. (Homosexual II)

10 START
20 PRINT "MANATEE"
30 GOTO 20

-- deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (ilx_omg_wt...) (webmail), June 25th, 2004. (deangulberry)

reading bad poetry about people fucking you - C/D?

Trivial pursuit
I never remembered that fucking baseball player's name
Even though he had answered the question in the game right before it
I'm so stupid
I pulled the blanket over my head
And he pulled it off and kissed me
Then he fingered me on the futon in the basement
And I was like, "um, okay."

We drove in my mom's minivan to Wegmans
Condoms on shopper's club this week- 50 cents off.
I sat in the parking lot picking at my pubes while he
Frantic
Cock stuffed into tight work pants
Ran through the aisles inside.

I waved to my sociology teacher in the parking lot
Who looked guilty with a plastic bag of his own.
Could he be having midnight rendevous too?
Grandma's sheets, dirty pube filled beds next to paintings done in childhood
In the mothball infested underground cavern of lust?
Perhaps.

His cock was really surprisingly big for his body.
He's really short and skinny but that schlong is huge!!!
I got scared.
He was going to rip me apart.
As he pushed in and out, grunting and groaning,
I thought of that fucking baseball player,
And if I'd remember his name next time.

-- emmmm (a_good_eg...), June 25th, 2004.

Constantly. It is the bane of my existence.
-- He wants to be me (masonicboo...) (webmail), June 27th, 2004 9:55 AM. (kate) (later) (link)

ideally, this wonderful shop would be in london town, but it could be elsewhere, we could then plot together a network of the beret shops across the world, perhaps jon could put it into that geodatabase thing he was talking about, so a 3d map could be constructed

or, alternatively, we could just post pictures of berets.

which colours do you think are best, that is also important...

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), June 27th, 2004 5:00 AM.

A beret will be cheapest in the local suppliers of farmers' needs in a small country town in France. However...

www.hats-online.com has proper basque berets for $23-ish.

-- Madchen (madchen_in_unifor...), June 27th, 2004 5:07 AM.

Maroon for sombre occasions and red for joie de vivre

-- Penelope_111 (penelope_11...), June 27th, 2004 5:13 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...My biggest flaw is that I'm severely impressionable - I once had to be deprogrammed by my mom and then-girlfriend because I was ordering all those crazy late night infomercial books about getting rich through real estate and stuff. I am highly, HIGHLY suggestible...
-- roger adultery (vlad62...), April 14th, 2004.

-- gabbneb (gabbne...), June 27th, 2004 11:29 PM. (gabbneb) (later)

And I'd bristle at any suggestion that Jon's affecting machismo for some strange reason here, as this is the same affected machismo he demonstrates in other facets of his life. It is, I've learned, not affected at all but proof that Jon is the most masculine bull-lesbian in the world who's reifying her feminity through immersion in the culture of adolecent male hypersexuality. So much so that s/he's masturbated in four of my sleeping bags and eaten hairpie in my closet.

-- j e r e m y (jcoomb...), June 27th, 2004 5:03 PM. (x Jeremy) (later)

Yes, it was so dry.

As I created both that thread title and this one, I will claim the glory. Uh, rah.

-- g--ff (misterhungr...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:38 AM. (gcannon) (later) (link)
No.
That is a bizarre leap.

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:39 AM. (Orbit) (later) (link)
orbit, just to let you know, there are a number of people, on ilx and off, who think that both the war and moore are bullshit.

-- g--ff (misterhungr...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:41 AM. (gcannon) (later) (link)
As long as they don't vote for more of the same I don't care if they believe in the tooth fairy.

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:42 AM. (Orbit) (later) (link)
And WHY did Americans NOT see the footage of Bush's limo being pelted with eggs and the huge crowds of protestors? WHY did Americans NOT see Congressperson after Congressperson's objections to the Florida election irregularities summarily dismissed because *surprise* no Senator from Florida would sign in suuport, even in support of Florida assembly members? If only for this Moore is desperately needed in the country.

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:45 AM. (Orbit) (later) (link)
WHY did I have to get my news from the BBC?
Michael Moore is the only person in the media in this country to stand up and say THIS IS BULLSHIT.

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:46 AM. (Orbit) (later) (link)
neither the inaugural protests nor statements made in congress (for whatever purpose) were exactly kept under wraps. do you read a newspaper?

-- g--ff (misterhungr...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:50 AM. (gcannon) (later) (link)
HELLO
This was worthy of CNN. WHY WASN'T IT THERE?
You know that old comic strip entitled "The angriest dog in the world"?

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:51 AM. (Orbit) (later) (link)
no, sorry. is that too being supressed?

-- g--ff (misterhungr...) (webmail), June 28th, 2004 2:52 AM. (gcannon) (later) (link)

Show the enclosed paper to others, make copies if you like.

I am 51, a Paranoid Schizophrenic, High School Diploma, Pentecostal, 6'1" tall, 225 pounds, black hair, green eyes, and get Social Security Disability.

I was born in Forsyth and still live with my parents. My brother Bob is a medical doctor.

I spent 3 years in the No. Dak. State Hospital and had 50 insulin coma shock treatments. I escaped once with a car and butcher knife and was nearly killed by the Police.

I have never stolen, raped, or killed. A psychiatrist, Dr. Martin Freese, said it was a miracle.

I have had sex with over 120 women, most of them prostitutes.

I am a very handsome and charming Virgo, same as Alexander the Great, Ivan the Terrible, John Wilkes Booth, Jesse James, Admiral Bligh, Emperor Augustus, Cesare Borgia, Cardinal Richelieu, Marquis de Lafayette, von Wallenstein, General John J. Pershing, Louis the 14th and Richard the Lionhearted.

In 1965, I received a batch of letters from Wyoming school children, saying that my Buffalo Bill song called Pahaska, was their favorite song and was sung in class every day.

According to neurologists, I have suffered far more than any human who ever lived, because when I was insane, I had skeining power. Skein is found in Goulds Medical Dictionary.

According to psychologists, I am the smartest man ever to walk on the earth.

I would like to personally impregnate hundreds of bright single women in order to produce a crop of great geniuses to improve the world.

Thank you for disseminating this information.

Sincerely,

Tom Lloyd

Incidentally - "Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em" - I've always found this title incredibly funny. I get images of his posse holding him back by his colossal pantaloons while he tries to break free and commit a really camp, weedy assault on some Vanilla Ice-record-buying kids.

-- beanz (beanzil...), June 27th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- donut bitch (do...), June 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is that where you got your alternate name?

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), June 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

...especially:
Love, love will tear us apart again 8-)

Come over to the window, my little darling
I'd like to try to read your palm
I used to think I was some kind of Gypsy boy
before I let you take me home :)

Now so long, Marianne, it's time that we began
to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again :)

Well you know that I love to live with you
but you make me forget so very much
I forget to pray for the angels
and then the angels forget to pray for us :)

Now so long, Marianne, it's time that we began ...

We met when we were almost young
deep in the green lilac park
You held on to me like I was a crucifix
as we went kneeling through the dark :)

Oh so long, Marianne, it's time that we began ...

Your letters they all say that you're beside me now
Then why do I feel alone :)
I'm standing on a ledge and your fine spider web
is fastening my ankle to a stone :)

Now so long, Marianne, it's time that we began ...

For now I need your hidden love
I'm cold as a new razor blade :)
You left when I told you I was curious
I never said that I was brave :)

Oh so long, Marianne, it's time that we began ...

Oh, you are really such a pretty one
I see you've gone and changed your name again
And just when I climbed this whole mountainside
to wash my eyelids in the rain :)

Oh so long, Marianne, it's time that we began ...

-- Tim Ellison (timejeanne...), June 28th, 2004 8:37 AM. (later)

The things my boss was singing at the top of his voice:
07/02/2003 : "And in those angel eyes"
"Gimme gimme gimme"
13/02/2003 : "Now you're giving me the WILL to survive"
17/02/2003 : "Come fly with me lets fly lets fly away, choo choo choo choo"
18/02/2003 : "Lost and lonely"
"Now you call my name umm hmm hmm hmm"
"DA DA DA DA DA DA (REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY) MAAGIIC MOMENTS"
27/02/2003 : "My darkest hour, I just get lost"
28/02/2003 : "You came into my liiiife" (quite tuneful this one).
03/03/2003 : He appears to be humming the theme tune from batman, but I could be wrong.
05/03/2003 : "And then you start to scream 'Give it to me'"
07/03/2003 : "You say it best-ah when you say nothing at all"
"Cos breaking up is so"
"You know that I need your tender touch"
10/03/2003 : "Wish you wanted my..." CLICK CLAP CLAP "dum de dum"
12/03/2003 : That Muppets tune followed by...
"You say that you love you love me but then you say you don't
You say you'll come on over but then you say you won't"
13/03/2003 : "Two hearts living in two separate worlds da dap dadap dap"
14/03/2003 : "That's where I'm gonna go when I die CARDIO-VASCULAR!"
"Mr Saturday Dince (?) da da da da daaaa da da da da da da da da da da"
"Doo doo dooo dooo dooo don't get around much any more"
17/03/2003 : "It's a beautiful day"
19/03/2003 : "Every do do do do do dooo do do la la la la la la"
20/03/2003 : "These are the days of our lives"
21/03/2003 : "Is a name I call myself a long long way to run"
"A DROP of golden sun-ah!"
"Nanananana You win again! Mmmmm-hmmmmm"
27/03/2003 : "Alone to the pyramids at night"
"I don't care what they say.... Tomorrow!"
01/04/2003 : "Love! Lift us up where you belong"
08/04/2003 : "Who knows what tomorrow brings"
"All I know is here and now morning ruth"
"Do you need someone to love, bom bom bom bom"
10/04/2003 : "Devoted to you hooom"
14/04/2003 : "No you can't take that away from me"
15/04/2003 : "And if you should discover that you don't really love her"
"Take good care........ of my baby"
"Be just as kind as you can... veee"
16/04/2003 : "RIIIAG NONA RIIIAGGHHH!"
17/04/2003 : "The lambs of mist"
25/04/2003 : "Got my fingers got mah"
06/05/2003 : "In my hour of darkness"
"There will be an answer, let it be"
07/05/2003 : "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good"
08/05/2003 : "I say yes you are wonderful"
27/05/2003 : "I don't care what they say I'm gonna love you child any old way"
"I'll give you dee dee dee I don't care, Yeah!"
30/05/2003 : "Love the one you're with"
02/06/2003 : "Talkin' about..."
"I can't go on..."
05/06/2003 : "Do the little ordinary things that anyone ought to do ba bom ba bom"
"The very thought of you and I forget you the ordinary things"
"I'm living in a time of day"
"Tell me that you'll come on over"
25/06/2003 : "Women of a certain age"
27/06/2003 : "You don't neaaad me"
"Baby now that I've found you da la dela go"
30/06/2003 : "My love won't ever be the same"
"I sit and watch"
"It's not the way you smile that tears me apart"
01/07/2003 : "Don't break my heart"
"Build me a buttercup"
02/07/2003 : "My cherie amour pretty as a summer's day"
03/07/2003 : "And words are all I ha-ave to take my heart away"
04/07/2003 : "THE RISE AND FAAAHHHL! do do do dodododododo" (v. loud)
07/07/2003 : "My back's turned to the sun"
08/07/2003 : "I hope I die"
"The writing's on the wall dldldldldldlddedld"
09/07/2003 : He is singing the match of the day theme tune.
10/07/2003 : He is muttering "Porche" to himself.
11/07/2003 : "I will never let you see"
"I will never let you go"
"How my broken heart is how many good one's we got Frank?"
"Oooh heartaches and pains"
"I'll do my crying in the rain"
"All my heartache and pain"
15/07/2003 : "Well I know in times of trouble... mothermarycomestome"
22/07/2003 : "I will never ever let you go, oh Nikita I love you so"
23/07/2003 : "You tell me that you'll come on over then you say FRANK!"
"Please don't please da da dada da da"
24/07/2003 : "You know that I need your tender.... touch"
"I'll give her to you one more time..." (makes farting trumpet noise)
"You're lonely like a hurricane"
"Then you say you don't"
"Galveston oh Galveston"
25/07/2003 : "The way you smile tears me apart... doesn't matter what you say"
"I'm gonna love you girl any old way"
"I don't care what they say about yooou"
"Foulll! Bobby Charlton!"
30/07/2003 : "You got a long long way to go... ah-ha"
"Yes you will pay a price but look how much it changed"
"I can do anything, I am STRONG!"
"I am strong, I am invincible"
01/08/2003 : "Doesn't matter what they say, gonna love you child any old way"
04/08/2003 : "Still crazy after all these years"
"Deee it be nice to hmmm hmmm hmmmm"
05/08/2003 : "Lalalalala it's not the way you smile that.... tears me apart"
"I'll have a little band of gold... that you are mine"
02/09/2003 : "You get a little weary when the sun goes down"
09/09/2003 : "There's a truth in your eyes saying how are you young lady?"
"Say you'll never leave me"
10/09/2003 : "I had the time of my life, and I never felt this way before"
11/09/2003 : "Love is the right thing to DOOOOO! right..."
15/09/2003 : "I'm beginning to see the light"
18/09/2003 : "Start off the day with pie and scar father jones" (?!?)
19/09/2003 : "I don't know why"
23/09/2003 : "Why d'you pass me by-hy"
24/09/2003 : "I'm so happy I almost died"
25/09/2003 : "Stop look and listen, dat-ta-da"
26/09/2003 : "I got my self a da-waag oh woah woah woah"
08/10/2003 : "Little darling... Little darling... ... ... Little darling"
"Little darling"
"Little darling"
"Little darling... It's been a long long"
"Little darling"
10/10/2003 : "Your mod soul... The day the muuuuuuuuuuuuuuusic died"
"The day the music died... Do you believe in god above"
13/10/2003 : "HIYA! Baby I know..."
"Oh how can I"
"and I'll cry if I want to. Cry if I want to. You would cry too if it hap-"
"dedididuedidue" Followed by weird snort noise - what the hell was that??
16/10/2003 : "It's a beautiful day"
"It's not the way you smile that tears me apart"
"What can I do"
"I don't care what they say about you... Cheep... tra la-la la-la
they say you've never ever been true"
17/10/2003 : "I'm sendin' out an SOS"
20/10/2003 : "Pick up the phone"
22/10/2003 : "Happy end of the day. Yes I'm certain that it happens all the ti-i-iime"
24/10/2003 : "Talking 'bout my girl. (Spoken) I got sunshine on a cloudy day"
"I know you'll say"
"In the month of may"
"I've got so much love... hea hea hea hea hea"
31/10/2003 : "It's another lonely daaay"
"I don't care what you say about tomorrow"
03/11/2003 : "Lean on me when I'm not strong, de la la la"
05/11/2003 : "My darkest hour, baby I want you"
"I just can't live without it"
"You're the guiding light and suh-duh-duh my darkest hour"
"I just can't-ah live without... You love-uh and affection"
07/11/2003 : "de-de-da-da-da-da Move ooooooon up"
14/11/2003 : "Back in the USSR, I know how lucky we are"
17/11/2003 : "It's very superstitious, the writing's on the wall"
18/11/2003 : "At the end of the line"
26/11/2003 : "Who's gonna take you home"
27/11/2003 : "I win again"
"'Cos I need you the whole time, yeah!"
28/11/2003 : "Welcome to my world"
02/12/2003 : "I'm gonna make believe it came from you"
"I'm gonna sit right down"
"If a picture paints a thouuuuu-sand words"
"Then why can't I paint you"
"I remember yoooooou"
04/12/2003 : "And the laugh's on you"
"Saga 106.6 fm"
05/12/2003 : "I should have to-ooold you myself"
(Spoken)"Don't you know? That I heard it through the grapevine"
"It takes me by surpriiiiise what you say"
"I took you by surprise"
"Just about to loooose my mind, honey honey"
08/12/2003 : "Time on my hands do do do do do-do"
12/12/2003 : "I'll give it to you one more time"
16/12/2003 : "Lookin' swell"
17/12/2003 : "This gun's for hire, do-do do do do do"
"This is mah song"
"I wonder ... ... I wonder ... ... I wonder"
23/12/2003 : "I'm crazy right now"
24/12/2003 : "I remember all my liiiiife, dal-al-al-al daaaaa daaaa daaaaaa"
"I remember, how you doing Alan?"
"Oh Mandy you came and you-"
05/01/2004 : "I can tell you're gonna cry, is it over me"
"By the look in your eyes, I can tell you're gonna cry"
"Cos I'm the kind of guy who's always on the roo-aaaa-oooo-ddd"
"Wherever I lay my HAT"
06/01/2004 : "RIGHT! Baaaa-aaaayyy-beee!"
09/01/2004 : "Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree, it's been three long years"
12/01/2004 : "In New Yooooork City... Yap"
13/01/2004 : "You took me my surpiiiisee I might say, when I found out"
(spoken)"I bet you're wondering how I knew"
16/01/2004 : "When I've got that feeling"
"There'll be no while flag upon"
"There will be no while flag upon this ship"
"Tell me tell me lies"
"Tell me tell me lies tell me sweet little lies, tell me lies"
19/01/2004 : "I bet you wondered how I knew"
21/01/2004 : "I'm talkin' 'bout my baby"
"I'm not talkin' 'bout my baby"
22/01/2004 : "Gotta get a WITNESS! Especially you girl"
26/01/2004 : "I'm TOO busy thinkin' 'bout my baby"
29/01/2004 : "Aye poy poy riiiaaagh for a while"
"Do you believe in this rock and roll"
"I was a lonely teenage bronkin' buck with pink carnation and a pick-up truck"
"Do you believe in god above"
"The good old boys are drinking whisky and rye"
30/01/2004 : "The day the music died"
02/02/2004 : "Love hurts"
"When I saw you"
"Cry-ay-ay-ay-ing over you"
"It was alright... For a while"
03/02/2004 : "The day the music died"
"Why why miss american"
04/02/2004 : "Love hurts, love dies"
"And even so it takes a..."
05/02/2004 : "It's a hard day"
06/02/2004 : "You're unbelievable!"
10/02/2004 : "Out of my head"
"Here comes the sun I say"
11/02/2004 : "LATIN!"
12/02/2004 : "I'm coming out of the kitchen, rawwr grrr ggrrr rawwr urrr rawwr"
"No I need a place
20/02/2004 : "You gotta take my breath away"
24/02/2004 : "About your plans to make me blue"
"I'll bet you wondered how I knew... Nop shnop nop"
25/02/2004 : "Give me just a little more time and our love will surely grow"
26/02/2004 : "On broadway!"
"The neon lights... On broadway"
He's clapping really loudly whilst singing "On Broaaaaadway!"
"In the air on broadway... aaaaaooooohhhh BUGGER!"
27/02/2004 : "There's a girl I know lala lala dadada"
03/03/2004 : "Holding back the years"
"Sooner or later"
"The revoluuuution's here"
05/03/2004 : "A kiss... Is still a kiss"
08/03/2004 : "This old heart a' mine"
"A hundred times I'll take it out"
"A hundred times I'll take you back"
10/03/2004 : "Diamonds are a girl's best friend"
12/03/2004 : "Loving you is easy 'cos it's beautiful"
15/03/2004 : "Loving you... is easy"
16/03/2004 : "I'm gonna wait 'til the midnight hour"
19/03/2004 : "Bet you're wondering how I knew, about your plans to make me blue"
26/03/2004 : "Here I am stuck in the middle with you"
"I don't know where it is at night"
"Cos it means that much to me, you took me by surprise I must say"
"I bet you wondered how I knew"
"I'm just about to loooose my mind"
"I bet you wondering how I knew 'bout your plans"
30/03/2004 : "Bringing on baaack the good times"
"I wanna spend some time"
"Want somebody who will spend some time"
31/03/2004 : "I'm gonna wait until the midnight hour"
"If a man could be places at one time I'd be with you, woah woah dooo"
07/04/2004 : "Do I love you? Yes I do"
"You took me by surprise I must say"
08/04/2004 : "Night and day... Think it's all over"
"Every night and day"
"I think we're alone now... Ah lehh le lehhh do la bah"
"There'll be night and day"
13/04/2004 : "I think we're alone now"
"Every night and day" CLAP CLAP
"Remind me baby of you"
"On the dancefloor " CLICK "Remind me baby of you"
15/04/2004 : "I took you by surprise I must say"
16/04/2004 : "I die each time... I hear this song... Here he comes"
"That's for sure"
"The only trouble is"
"I can make you mine I can..."
"The only trouble is, gee whiz, I'm dreaming my life away"
"Any time night and day, the only trouble is gee whiz"
"I can taste you lips of white, and (sic) time night and day"
19/04/2004 : "Anyone who ever hurt me"
"I'll never fall from the sky, right into your arms"
"I hope you comprehend"
20/04/2004 : "I'm so busy talkin bout my baby"
"Aint got time for something else"
21/04/2004 : "There's a girl I know"
28/04/2004 : "You took me by surprise"
29/04/2004 : "It don't impre-eh-es me"
"That don't impress me much"
"You don't impress me much"
"Talking 'bout my baby, hmmm mnnn mnnn hm hmm hm hm"
"Where the river...."
30/04/2004 : "The tracks of my tears"
"Be so nice to come home to"
06/05/2004 : "Going out for another drink"
"It's a whiter shade of paaale"
"You're simply the best, neh neh neh"
"Simply the best"
"Tell me that you're gonna love me baby, then you say you won't"
"You say you donnnnnnt"
"I love you like a hurricane"
07/05/2004 : "There you were"
"Too busy thinkin' bout my bay-beh-heh"
"Too busy thinkin' about my baby"
"Where the river ends"
11/05/2004 : "Foo once in my life"
12/05/2004 : "I don't know why"
"Too busy thinking bout my baby, I ain't got time for uuuuooooppp"
13/05/2004 : "Ah de doh da, because I'm jive talking"
14/05/2004 : "R.E.S.P.E.C.T."
"R.E.S.P.T."
"Just a little bit"
17/05/2004 : "There'll be no wan"
"There'll be no white flag"
18/05/2004 : "Hello, is it me you're looking for"
"I can see it in your eyes, but I haven't got a clue"
19/05/2004 : "Where I right or wrong" CLAP
"I'll be down on my knees"
"If I were a tower of strength"
27/05/2004 : "I want to break free"
"Love is nature's way of giving UUUAAH reason"
"Love is a many splendoured thing"
"It's the april rose that only grows in the early spring"
28/05/2004 : "In the land of the"
"In the land of the"
"In the land of the" -- I don't think he knows the rest
"I really know"
"I really know" -- he's not doing well with lyrics today
03/06/2004 : "Won't you come home baby... Please come home... You pay the rent"
"And I'm gone pay the rent"
04/06/2004 : "Your candle burned out lo"
"Goodbye Norma Jean"
"Goodbye Norma Jean, we're on the 22nd floor"
"When love comes to town gonna"
07/06/2004 : "Sunshine on a rainy day... yeah"
09/06/2004 : "I need someone"
"I need someone to love. do dodo do do"
10/06/2004 : "It's just an-o manic monday"
"This gun's for hire... do do do do do"
11/06/2004 : "Baby I shouldn't love you"
14/06/2004 : "Two of us guys you know I love you more.... Huhum"
"Took me by surprise.... I must say"
"I bet you're wondering how I knew"
15/06/2004 : "I love you and I love you more"
16/06/2004 : "You took me by surprise I must say"
"I bet you wondered how I knew"
21/06/2004 : "The wedding bell"
23/06/2004 : "It's twelve o'clock in the morning"
24/06/2004 : "Here I am! Signed, sealed... delivered"
"My babe wrote me a letter"
"That's the way it is"
"That's the way it is.... (Spoken, in bad american accent) Bruce Hornsby!"
25/06/2004 : "You make me blue"
"Bet you wondered how I knew, about your plans to make me blue
with some other guy you know before"
"I welcome the selter of someone's arms"
28/06/2004 : "Lay lady lay, lay across my"
"Come come come into my life"

I know you might think it's sad of me to have written all this down, but it's the only way I can think of to stop myself PUNCHING HIM IN THE EFFING GOB.

-- Steve.n. (pseudonym786...), June 28th, 2004 11:34 AM. (later)

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