Hastings, The Young Man Who Was From There, And What Happened To His Pastings, Part 3: The Spiral Bridge Defenestrations

On the treadmill I got as far as:

In Hastings high school there were students
Who sometimes exhibited impudence...

(But then I'm stuck. Plus, "sometimes?" More like every second of every day...)

"There are lots of war protests arond the country - yesterday someone burned George Bush in effigy!, everyone's fear of being drafted, Matt and his idea of "a trail of children around the world," and John Justen licking the car window at a middle-aged woman who scowled at him - while he was driving no less!"

P.S. More discussion of William of Normandy please.

God Bless.

Also: just finished Minutemen documentary. Two thumbs up. Wow, I need to spend some more time with the Minutemen.

"[When they started out] they didn't know how to tune their instruments, what the knobs were for. They just thought, like, I like to play loose and I like to play tight." -Flea

(not a literal transcript, but a rough aproximation)

(I need to find the link to the limerick I posted on ILE a few years ago.)

There was an old biddy from Hastings
Who stockpiled guns, powder and casings
her gentleman caller
gave out a big holler
When caught out he got a lead basting
Or maybe not.

-- Fluffy Bear, Perpetual 12-Year-Old (el.jeffe.bonanz...), July 11th, 2006 4:07 PM. (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows) (link)
________________________________________

There once was a bear that fluffy
A perpetual youth and a toughie
But he started to weep
After he shagged all the sheep
Since it turned out their backsides were scruffy

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 11th, 2006 4:22 PM. (Ned) (link)
________________________________________
There once was a Ned named Raggett
Who when he saw garbage yelled, "Bag it!"
He trolled all the dumpsters
For ragged mogwomp furs
Rejecting all meat without maggots

-- Fluffy Bear, Perpetual 12-Year-Old (el.jeffe.bonanz...), July 11th, 2006 4:35 PM. (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows) (link)
________________________________________
There was once was a cool Sara R-C
Looking for her own Mr. Darcy
Then a fine upstanding fellow
Gave her a scotchmallow
And now she has kids who speak Farsi

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 11th, 2006 4:52 PM. (Ned) (link)
________________________________________
There once was loner named Raggett
Who like Onan squeezed it and gagged it
To a picture he'd glom
Of his pendulous mom
Where he blew it scraped it and bagged it.

-- Fluffy Bear, Perpetual 12-Year-Old (el.jeffe.bonanz...), July 11th, 2006 4:56 PM. (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows) (link)

________________________________________
Young Perry, while roaming the towns
Wore a series of saddening frowns
The reason, to be sure
Was missing the Cure
So now he juggaloes for insane clowns

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 11th, 2006 5:30 PM. (Ned) (link)
________________________________________
Nice one, Ned.

I came up with these on the bus.

Just nasty:

There once was a housewife named Sara
Who’s postman found her weeding terra
He said stay on your knees
She said do as you please
Just don’t let it run through my mascara

Almost without merit:

There was a good son named John Justen
Who’s father’s boots he was a dustin’
On his crown fell a slap
He looked up with a snap
On his chin siblings were a bustin’

Somewhat clever, actually:

There was a role-player named Dan
Who would dress up like a milk-man
Ol’ ball-and-chain Perry
Liked it in the derry
His mother took it in the can
Good luck with “Jeff Peterson”, hosers.

-- Fluffy Bear, thy name is Jeff Peterson, Perpetual 12-Year-Old (el.jeffe.bonanz...), July 11th, 2006 6:40 PM. (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows) (link)
________________________________________
Jeff Peterson lived on a reef
Where he let off queef after queef
He'd gone there to be rid
Of an obnoxious wite kid
Who had sonned him in an AOL beef

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 11th, 2006 7:10 PM. (Ned) (link)
________________________________________
FB you are going to be lucky to live. But.

Dan, Sara and John all wrote poems
And sent them to friend from their homes
They collected so many
And sold each for a penny
To Jeff, who bound them in tomes.

(and has the virtue of sticking a bit closer to reality, AHEM)

Not to mention that my mail carrier is a woman.

Jeff's limericks were all so obscene
No one could discern what they mean
They poisoned the thread
And hurt my poor head
And the brain bleach cannot get me clean.

(That last one is entirely Austin's extemporaneous creation, btw).
Also composed with Austin while cooking dinner - mostly Austin, really, he's good at this)

There once was a young man from Hastings
Who hosed illicit drug tastings
His plans went all wrong
On a trip to Hong Kong
When his sideburns detached from their pastings.

(I guess whoever that is will remain nameless).

In a town with an old spiral bridge
Whose children kept beer in the fridge
John Justen drank ten
Which impressed all the men
But caused him to fall off the ridge.

Hastings old spiral bridge clearly demonstrates
As Dan Perry frequently remonstrates
The morals of town
Could go up or go down
But John Justen's booze he defenestrates.

-- Sara R-C (sr...), July 11th, 2006 7:15 PM. (Sara R-C) (link)
________________________________________
Also, A.'s thoughts while watching me eat some Fritos (he hates Fritos):

There once was a girl who loved Fritos
She ate them while drinking mojitos
The salt and the booze
Quickly caused her to lose
The ends of her feet, but for 3 toes.

(My feet are fine, but I do love mojitos. And Fritos.)

-- Sara R-C (sr...), July 11th, 2006 7:23 PM. (Sara R-C) (link)
________________________________________
There once was a lawyer subgenius
Who avoided accepting suppoenas
His secretary lie
in locos delicti
On which his briefs were filed sub judice

-- Fluffy Bear, Perpetual 12-Year-Old (el.jeffe.bonanz...), July 11th, 2006 7:57 PM. (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows) (link)
________________________________________
O'er Hastings a foul cloud begat
A queer gale that blew off my hat
T'was a big fire at Koch
from an old pipe that broke
Now the Old River Town smells like scat

-- Fluffy Bear, Perpetual 12-Year-Old (el.jeffe.bonanz...), July 11th, 2006 8:03 PM. (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows) (link)

________________________________________
n Hastings high school there were students
Who sometimes exhibited impudence
To put on a play
They were locked in for days
Which did sometimes lead to imprudence.

-- Sara R-C (sr...), July 11th, 2006 11:06 PM. (Sara R-C) (link)
________________________________________
Jeffrey Brian Peterson
Was all alone scrubbing his gun
He popped of a round
The fell on the ground
Merrily shrieking, "I WON!!!!"

-- Jesus Dan (djperr...)

NOW GIMME SOME MORE HASTINGS LIMERICKS

I don't know whether to tell you to run far away or invite you in. The problem with Hastings isn't so much getting in as getting back out...

Actually, for all the bad parts of living there (and there were many), most of my favorite people are from there. They made up a tiny minority of the town, to be sure, but I wouldn't trade them in for a different place to grow up in. I'm quite stupid and/or sentimental that way.

Dan - band rehearsal? (As you have already realized, LIMERICK MADNESS can go on for quite some time...)

The sexual skills of D. Perry
transcended the mere ordinary.
He could roger you roundly
whilst beating you soundly
at cribbage. Talented? Very!

Tourette's caused our hero N. Raggett
to occasionally holler out "Faggot!"
so he, full of tricks,
waved around bundled sticks
to prove he's no homophobe maggot.

-- Colin Meeder (amisrau...), February 28th, 2003 6:24 AM. (Mert) (link)

Here: Dirty Limericks

(Kidding, suzy. I'm sure you're fine.)

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), September 3rd,

A black cat, all costumed in satin
muttered evil pronouncements in Latin.
With his asshole depraved
he had grannies enslaved
and his howling could frighten Mike Patton.

For those that have experienced my house, my only excuse for my abscence yesterday is that I was cleaning the black-lung inducing demon hole that we call a basement all day. Then I passed out. I'll try to do my limerick duty as the day goes on.

There once was a thread that was manic
That filled a small town with a panic
In Hastings, they cried
"It's destroying our pride
And watched oer by a cat thats satanic!"

More later. Also, FB, how have you known me for this long and not ended up with a copy of double nickels on the dime?

Re: Double Nickles. It's a shame. A shame indeed.

Also, you all are way too good at writing limericks... but I've been distracted this morning by my friend C4th1e, who decided to bring me an Egg McMuffin out of the blue. Now she can no longer mock me for being a McDonald's breakfast virgin.

In a town that was down by a river
Jeff Peterson obtained a sliver
of hash for his pipe
but Ned said, "That is tripe -
If you smoke that you'll give me a shiver."

(A. really is better at limericks than I am. So clear!)

I think we should all be greatful that we are able to speculate, rather than reminisce.

But I'll be grateful anyway. Because... nope, I can't go there. Brain bleach time again.

It should be noted that a GIS for "Hannity Mcmuffin" yields no results. Never in the same room together? Hmmmmmm.

xpost

I suppose I will be forced to accept your apology to maintain peace.

suzy, I'm really getting a strange image of your family's life.

minnesotans, RIP for one of our own, Paul Nelson:
http://citypages.com/databank/27/1336/article14526.asp

-- M@tt He1geson, Rendolent Ding-Dong (matt@game[remove]informer.com) (webmail), July 12th, 2006 12:39 PM. (Matt Helgeson) (link)

If god was a fat warty troll named Sckrullydupeblartz, yes.

(xposted over at typing thread)

Hexagon - Headlining - Drunktime fun! WHEELAH!

RSVP by getting yer ass to the Hexagon.

(Only tangentally Hastings related, but A. composed that at lunch while looking past me out the door. I never should have let him watch The Last Supper.

Oh, there's plenty of talent here, but Mr. Sara riffed off a number of doozies out of the gate.

Hastings Thread Poet Laureate Nominee Requirements:
1. Riff off a number of doozies out of the gate.
2. Be subjected to mixed metaphors.
3. Mostly rhyme.
-from Hastings Rules of Silliness (and Other Forms of Authentication Suspiciously Convinient for Fluffy Bear)

i suck at this! you guys are great though!

http://www.spatch.net/abbie-small2.jpg

Actually, at this point I'm just trying to find the oddest "has a posse" things I can find.

Sorry to sound cranky.

Actually, I am just thinking of how A. and my friend MJ insult each other to each other's faces - they fight like mad, but it's all in good fun. My SIL, Gr4c3, happened to be here and MJ called and thought that Gr4c3 was me and therefore launched into some kind of "how is that 4ssh0le you married doing, is he beating the hell out of you still?" - of course, joking completely - but Gr4ce was horrified and I don't think she'll ever like MJ. A. comes from a totally different sort of background than any of the rest of us... although for the most part he "gets" me. I think.

Anyway, sorry to be so touchy.

*Sara

YOU PEOPLE ARE FILTHY

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0b/GrandAd.png = FLUFFY BEAR

(Meanwhile at my house, J. complains that her "penis" hurts when she pees. This is the kind of entertainment I can look forward to for years.)

Ned, I thought you were the Captain. I'm so confused. I guess I should have gone to military school.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), October 9th, 2002 1:21 PM. (Dan Perry) (link)

See what we didn't know about Hostess snacks?!

http://www.bellandbullock.co.uk/images/pictures/captain_octopus.jpg =ME

Oh, I think I would.

You must tend to them, as one tends to the orchids in an english garden.

Did you find the one where I told the story about the Dreadful Cunnilingus Incident?

Sara, let's just put it this way: I've got a close friend whose family are shouty Punjabi villagers with many aunties and uncles always chatting about/nosing into each other's business, and she sees no real difference between the way her family behaves and the way mine does. When I explain that most Minnesotans who stay instate are very 'family' she totally gets it.

But yes, even by those standards my family is chock full o'nuts.

Imagine, if you will, a winter party filled with drunken high school kids. Things being what they are in Hastings, a guy I will call Chuck decided that the perfect time to show off the brand new truck that his parents bought him. He and his best friend, whom I will call Gene, arrived at the party and were a big hit. Everyone was admiring Chuck's truck, including a girl I will call Harriet. Now, Harriet and Gene had had some level of attraction before, but had never done anything about it. At this party, however, there was the right level of booze to make them both feel that they needed to take their relationship to the next level. They both disappeared after a while, but there was so much booze and carousing going on that no one noticed they were gone until Gene wandered into the kitchen. He looked HORRIBLE; everyone thought he'd been beaten up or had fallen head-first into something. He had a drunken grin and his face and wouldn't tell people what had happened to him, but he had blood all over his face and shirt. No one could figure out what had happened until Harriet staggered in the front door, hair all askew and buttoning up her jeans. Chuck stared at her, then at Gene, who was looking at Harriet all goofily. Chuck then made a remarkable intuitive leap, grabbed Gene by the shoulders and began shaking him. "TELL ME YOU DIDN'T GO DOWN ON HER IN MY TRUCK!" he shouted. Gene could only giggle. No amount of cleaning could get Harriet's menstrual smell out of the upholstery, which meant that Chuck was forced to spend the next two months driving around with his windows down. This wouldn't normally be that big of a deal, but this party happened in early January.

The next day, Gene was extraordinarily pleased with himself until he looked in the mirror.

Also, clearly I was not around for this incident since I'm sure I would remember that!

(xpost)

I was actually tempted to post my dad and dog but I worried FB would put kitten snipers all over them.

Maybe you can get FB to promise to not attack; I'd like to see the photo!

Sara, if that addy works check your inbox. FB I was kidding!

J0hn, not "indisposed" as such, but I went to the Foundry in St. Paul last nite for a friend's b-day party, and Friday night I'm going to Superhopper CD release show w/Die Electric and Holy Ghostriders at the Triple Rock, so old man H3lgeson needs to remember he's 31 and get some sleep tonight!

Suzy, I took nothing personally. I just wanted to reassure you that your photo's are safe (bwahahahaha).

Notice that I haven't posted any photos of Sara's children with kitty's stacked on their heads and thought baloons saying, "Isn't this odd."

And Sara, because she is smart, is thinking, "That was a very specific example." The important part is that I did not actually do this.

No, he is a lazy drunk-ass. An industrious drunk-ass wouldn't balk at three nights out in a row.

MAN UP BROCHIEF!

Kidding. See you on Friday.

In reperation, I will buy John a PBR of his choice tonight at the Hexagon.

xpost: There's nothing worse than a mean ass-drunk.

I'm sure the nurse was a great help to you before then.

It pays to accessorize.

xpost: HAHAHA yes.

xpost - dead moose. LOL. Remind me to tell you guys about the 1991 "summer road kill count." (I'd do it now, but must go pick 4l3x up!)

(John yr powers are amazing...I will be home tonight, watching Matlock DVDs and knitting, sipping chamomile tea)

2. Sara, if you don't receive by 11am please alert me here and I will forward it to the Master of the Dark Arts instead.

Sckrullydupeblartz?

3. FUN

http://www.hometrainingtools.com/tbimages/12518.lg.jpg

I am so not going on Flickr. Yet. Therefore you have gmail.

haha that would be a great rap group name!

Summer roadkill count was part of M3l and my (sometimes billed as "S&M, Inc.") bleak, hysterical humor. I think it all stemmed from the first time I drove to Northfield to actually look at Olaf to try to figure out if that was where I was really going to transfer to; I saw some kind of huge animal that had clearly been hit by a truck. My thoughts, "hmmm, what is a wooly mammoth doing on 47?" This led to me saying - no doubt in a caffeine-induced moment of craziness, "My life is so boring. I have to spice it up with dead animals." This became one of the running jokes of the summer, and we really did have a list at one point of dead animals we saw by the side of the road.

suzy, I will go downstairs to other computer and check my email again (although with not much hope, yet). I can't believe how long it took me to cross town to get 4l3x. Someone thought it would be a great idea to close down every useful road in Northfield today.

Flickr rules, Suzy. Yer missing out.

My mom, of course, chases after armed robbers while screaming her head off, vanquishes them, and keeps it secret from me for six months. For this and other reasons nobody has a blacker sense of humour than she does.

http://static.flickr.com/74/188837879_ebee806de0.jpg?v=0

Pertinent questions that he is not asking: where is your sister's bar? And when are you visiting MN?

My sister's bar is VERY famous for being Mike Tice's local with parking space. Jeff and John were party to some amazing gossip about this last Jan as a result. It is Bunny's in St Louis Park.

suzy - LOL.

BUNNY'S!!!! Sweet....love that place.

Actually, S&P are what my dad calls my mom and sister when they're tag-teaming him with any issue that might cross their minds.

(Sorry, couldn't resist. You may retaliate at will.)

Haiku mania? But limerick madness still seems to be going strong. I shall ponder this in the car tonight. Is it odd to bring paper and pencil to a show?

*flush*

Speaking of which, I'm off and I shall report back later, assuming I survive. (If I don't, remember that I loved you all and always floss at least once a day).

"What Is A Juggalo"

What is a juggalo?
Let me think for a second
Oh, he gets butt-naked
And then he walks through the streets
Winking at the freaks
With a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks

What is a juggalo?
He just don't care
He might try to put a weave
In his nut hair
Cuz he could give a fuck less
What a bitch thinks
He tell her that her butt stinks
And all that

What is a juggalo?
He drinks like a fish
And then he starts huggin people
Like a drunk bitch
Next thing, he's pickin fights
With his best friends
Then he starts with the huggin again
Fuck!

What is a juggalo?
A fucking lunatic
Somebody with a rope tied to his dick
Then he jumps out a ten-story window
Oh!

What is a juggalo?
A juggalo
That's what it is
Well, fuck, if I know
What is a juggalo?
I don't know
But I'm down with the clown
And I'm down for life, yo

Southwest? (we juggalos)
Down river? (we juggalos)
Jefferson? (we juggalos)
Fuckin everybody (we juggalos)
I'm that juggalugga locoroni
Get the fuck up
Get the fuck the out of here

What is a juggalo?
A dead body
Well, he ain't really dead, but he ain't like
Anybody that you've ever met before
He'll eat monopoly and shit out connect four

What is a jug..?
What the fuck? Connect four?
Man that shit is whack
Don't worry about my shit
Just rap motherfucker

What is a juggalo?
He ain't a bitchboy
He'll walk through the hills
And beat down a rich boy
Walks right in the house
When you're having supper
And dip his nuts in your soup, gloop!

What is a juggalo?
Well, he ain't a phoney
He'll walk up and bust a nut in your macaroni
And watch you sit there
And finish up the last bit
Cuz your a stupid ass dump fuckin idiot

What is a juggalo?
He's a graduate
He graduated from....well
At least, he got a job
He's not a dump puts
He works for himself scratching his nuts

What is a juggalo?
A Hulkamaniac
He powerbombs motherfuckers into thumbtacks
People like him till
They find out he's unstable
He Sabu'd your momma through a coffee table

I'm that juggalugga locoroni
Get the fuck up
Get the fuck the out of here
I'm that juggalugga locoroni
I figured you wouldn't understand

Detroit? (we juggalos)
Cleveland? (we juggalos)
St. Louis? (we juggalos)
Everybody? (we juggalos) [3x]
Fuckin everybody? (we juggalos)
Everybody? (we juggalos)
What is a juggalo?

FUCK YA. COMING HOME TO ROOST.

I HAVE LIVED IN MINNESOTA MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I HAVE NEVER ONCE ATTENDED THE STATE FAIR A.K.A. THE GREAT MINNESOTA "GET TOGETHER"!!!!! I SWEAR TO GOD.

the renaissace fair
grand old day
cedarfest (RIP)
lyn-lake (RIP)
the Faribault County Fair in my hometown of Blue 3arth, MN

xpost: no cedarfest makes me SAD.

BTW, I just found out that the portly Santa dude that's borderline retarded who co-hosts that gardening show w/Belinda is her BROTHER! wierd!

I have no idea what this means, but I hereby give you a medal for writing the Best Sentence Forever.

Waterfall of light
Wind blows breath through silent reeds
FB is a cunt.

http://www.hastingsmn.org/rivertownday.htm

NED! NED! NED!

It's really the only way to earn your keep, you non-minnesotan infidel.

(and so does inappropriately themed poetry, apparently)

Obviously I survived and was not even harmed at concert (although since it was outside there were some funky moments due to weather - including the power going out in the middle of "ghost"). All in all, very fun.

Your haiku and other poems are way better than what A. and I came up with in the car (also there are one or two limericks; I'll post them tomorrow).

Please tell me it was B3lind4 S. that called John "Sparky." That would totally make my day.

The State Fair is where I realized that carnies will hit on any upright female person. (To be fair, though, the carnies at Jesse James Days in Northfield are worse. They don't seem to care if you clearly gave birth a few days before. Really terrifying.) We sometimes do like to go to the State Fair, if for no other reason than I like to find out what the hell else they have managed to put on a stick. (M@tt I can't believe you've never been! Blasphemy.)

My dad always wisely planned our State Fair outings thusly: we were permitted to choose between the categories FOOD or RIDES owing to previous unfortunate ValleyFair funnel-cake/octopus waltzer/vom combo.

Some parents gasped as police played lyrics from Insane Clown Posse songs at a Sept. 22 meeting at George Washington Middle School in Lyons to illustrate the lyrics' potential to cause violence.

...

He said if a fashion trend or hair style puts other students in danger, the school will consider banning it. Following the controversy, students still are allowed to wear their hair in braids, but the braids must be pulled back from the head and cannot stick straight up.

Leslie Menninga, whose son Eric Neill was suspended for a day last week, said the meeting was informative, but the students who were suspended are not part of the Juggalos.

This is my favorite: http://westernpajuggalos.com/whatisajuggalo/glossary.html

Juggalo Championshit Wrestling
JCW, Psychopathic Records' own wrestling organization that has fought against WCW and WWF

"Woo woo, Juggalo!"

By breaking all the rules! (Hastings rules = meant to be broken?)

FB - okay, now braids are recognizably dangerous? Okaaaaay. I demand that someone stops the upcoming and coming blousy-pirate-shirt trend. I'm begging.

suzy - you might be right about the carnies; I was a DD cup right after J. was born (even the flattest of us can have minor, although uncomfortable miracles occur). I'm probably no longer of note to them! I've never had to choose between food and rides due to cast iron stomach, but I want the food more these days (of course the kids are opposite). But you are OTM about the deep fried stuff on a stick. Key Lime Pie! Why not?

Q. By breaking all the rules! (Hastings rules = meant to be broken?)

A. The reason our mothers and fathers came here was to
get the f*ck away from the d*mn king and his f*cking rules. So you know what,
if "they" want to judge me, they sure as well better get to know me for who
the f*ck I am and not who I am portraied (sp) to f*cking be.
Love,
One Pissed Of Juggalette

"Woo woo, Juggalo! Woo woo!"

"Were just some Juggalos trying to live are lives."
-Preston Burke (www.juggalo4lif3420@aim.com)

"Being is a Juggalo is being alive, otherwise your dead inside."
-Johny Weed Seed (JJwotton@yahoo.com)

My dead inside?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knoPRZHMS4w&search=1970

Pervertalism.

All the limericks
the madness ensuing here
blood will surely come.

(see, A. understands Hastings very well!)

The ipod plays on
writing poems distracts me
I'm not your dj.

(A. makes fun of my inability to think, write, and work iPod at same time)

Kids voices echo
the ceiling vault's so pretty!
talking doesn't work.

(A. complains about my parent's house in Hastings)

murder, betrayal
lust, sex, revenge and intrigue
Hastings hides it all.

(that would be mine. I tried to write one about FB, Dan and John but looked at it this morning and realized, oops, apparently I can't count to 5 or 7. This is not good news.)

Instead I'm looking around the house, desperately seeking a particular set of knitting needles. Lame!

Juggalos And Juggalettes, Sinnahs And Saynts I come before you as someone who doesn't normally write sermons. I leave that up to Rev B-Lotus, Rev Last Rite, Loki And My Brother Rev Big Irish Juggalo. Now, I call myself a Sinnah (Sinner for those that don't know me LOL) because I believe it is better to ask forgiveness then permission. My words to God when I meet him will be numbering 7....I Am Only Human. Please Forgive Me?

...

The big man upstairs always has faith in you when you have none in yerself. He loves you and always will...And remember as Bill Cosby said once in an episode of the Cosby Show....Just Listening For My Name!

Much Mattfackin Wikkid Irish Fat Kid Clown Family Love In His Name

The Psychopathic Sinnah

ihttp://artofwar.free.fr/images_site/jeux/snes/super%20punch%20out/soluce/Super%20Punch-Out!!%20(E)%20%5B!%5D040.png

I still can't find my knitting needles. Why did my house eat them?!

http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/villagestreetwear_1902_337787782

oh the shame... the ignominy...

(crap, I am so going to Hell.)

and maybe a little bit beyond:

http://static.flickr.com/53/168964880_2bb2d8bfc6.jpg?v=0

Jeff Peterson: protojuggalo

Don't bother; they're here.

http://static.flickr.com/23/34675200_751cf7c7a2.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/35/70235663_8f4d12a12a.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/61/166827867_468a4b2a66.jpg?v=0

http://static.flickr.com/1/1167672_e055bf3020.jpg?v=1101923245

What about John?

http://www.geocities.com/boscoe310/clown_cat.jpg

Sara, you wore spandex in high school?!?!

Add that to the list, then.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y41/theholyhandgrenade/Ass-Clown.jpg

However. This is one of my most amusing memories of John (which is saying something): for some reason he was wearing biker shorts under his tux at the prom. For some reason I was in the bathroom while he was changing (it should perhaps be noted that John was not my date) and thought, "hmmm, everyone should see this odd undergarment!" So I opened the door and pointed this out to everyone else.

Anyway, for some reason M3liss4 didn't catch any of this but she did hear about it. The next morning John came upstairs to where all the girls were sleeping. M3l looked up and the first thing she said to John: "John, pull down your pants and let us see your stretchy thing!" (she meant the biker shorts, of course) The confused/horrified look on his face = possibly one of the most funny things I've ever seen.

I think that is the only spandex I know of John wearing.

http://static.flickr.com/24/189578052_4927106dd4.jpg?v=0

Perpetua is an ILM poster. He... HAS A POSSE.

http://www.kiss-supreme.com/PICGAL/peter%20criss%20from%20the%20dynasty%20era%201979.jpg

http://www.gazette.uwo.ca/.%2F2004%2FOctober%2F05%2Fscans%2Fpic%208b%20(Plasticman.jpg

(LOL they are also beefing on the Chicago thread LOL)

http://static.flickr.com/32/54887769_345d3b04fb.jpg

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UH

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cats. fractals. omg omg.

http://www.lindabucklin.com/cats.html

http://www.lindabucklin.com/cat-adventure/thomas.jpg

Ever wondered if you could make a living by acting? Clear evidence that it's possible for even the least competent here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvaWre-fT94&search=days%20of%20our%20lives

Random tv-watching story about my Dad (just because): You know those fake commercials on Saturday Night Live that are usually placed right after the host intro? Dad almost never realized they were fake until halfway into the ad. Schlitz Gay, the pants with three legs, the citibank one about giving money in different denominations... omg, I used to live for that moment when the nickel would finall drop and he'd realize, oh, not a real ad. Every week!

Nothing beats the year that every time anyone drank a beverage on Days it had to be hot tea. It was obvious that even the actors were having a hard time not laughing about it.

m4ps of n0rway, right?

http://collections.ic.gc.ca/cnphoto/images/canadian_northern/83140.jpg

Travel is so fraught wtih danger these days.

If it comes to that, we'll be sure to petition. Also important to consider what you'd like on your headstone, of course. Just to be safe, send your final instructions to John via passenger pigeon.

Actually, your house was one of the few that it was easy to drive past if you didn't know exactly where you were going. Hidden... deep in the dark, dangerous forests of Welch... one of the darkest secrets of Hastings. Which, from all I've been able to discern, had something to do with your cousin and an attic. Or so you'd like us to believe.

Also, I suspect earth submarine may be the only thing left that will get rid of the mole in my backyard. (If you're friends with that mole, though, we're through!)

I'm a nap person, though; I'd probably still do it.

http://www.boredshitless.com/gallery/New-Gallery/albums/userpics/normal_clown-pussy.jpg

No matter what you think, DO NOT GIS CLOWN PUSSY.

Perhaps I will listen to PWEI instead. Sara saves the day!

HSTNGSTHRD, what are you listening to.

PWEI - "This Is The Day etc."

Packing to move always makes me want to have a bonfire of all my possessions on my front lawn.

Currently writing an application to parse a load file so that we can do some back-end processing on it before running it through our loading application. And drinking Guinness.

Forgetting PWEI makes Republicans happy.

argh can't concentrate on job or own pumpin' music argh

Dan, this paragraph looks obscene to me. I'm just sayin'.

As for PWEI, I never like to make Republicans happy - now I've half-remembered, is that good enough?

Speaking of Republicans, I suspect I look like one. At least one of 4l3x's camp counselors seems completely mystified by me. The second day I wore a t-shirt with the word "feminist" emblazoned on it, he finally asked, "are you really a feminist?" Then after I swore and apologized, I hear, "well, you're a nice church-going lady, aren't you?" What the hell are they teaching the students at Carleton about Northfield residents?

Actually, I think he's mostly joking, but just surprised or something by the stuff that comes out of my mouth. I think if you are a married person with two kids in this town, the college kids make assumptions about you that aren't necessarily correct. (Of course I've been wondering when they started letting 8th graders into Carleton, so I suppose it's only fair...)

FWIW I think this looks worse.

(If you could see me, you'd see I'm whistling innocently.)

Forgetting PWEI makes Republicans happy.

Indeed. Why have you given yourself over to the devil so, Sara?

Don't ask why I've given myself over to the devil. When it comes to Republicans, I think it's genetic. Thankfully I seem to be an anomaly. I keep waiting for that gene to express itself, but so far nothing.

"The Well Of Lost Plots" - Jasper Fforde. SO GOOD. Reminds me of when I first started reading the Xanth series and thought I had died and gone to harharheaven.

Dan, give me a shoutout for Piers Anthony.

NED, WHAT ARE YOU READING INSTEAD OF PIERS ANTHONY?

I also just finished "The Men Who Stare At Goats" by Jon Ronson. It was...odd.

Currently there is a pile of half-read stuff on my night stand. The only things I can concentrate on are Briar Rose by Jane Yolen (pretty good) and my book of the complete works of Anne Sexton (omg some of those poems are permanently lodged in my brain). Just finished Undead and Unappreciated, one of MJ's books. It is irksome that she can write books faster than I can publish them. But I still worship the quicksand she walks on.

I wonder what it would be like to only read one book at a time instead of my usual 5. Comprehension and consistency be damned!

I was thinking earlier this summer that I needed to read something I remembered loving and started in on a collection of short Ray Bradbury stories. That's on the pile of "to be finished" on the bedside table. Maybe I just picked the wrong one up.

Thank you for making me not the only person to do this! (Oh, the mocking I have endured for years for this from A. So cruel.)

('Fess up other Hastings people, you do it, too, don't you.)

I am currently reading a comparative study of Hitler and Stalin's dictatorships. Before that I read an unabridged version of Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary, possibly the greatest work of satire this country has produced. (Even if I don't agree with all of it -- but I do agree with most.)

In place of anything by Piers I would prefer to read Iain Banks. (Or if more in line with Xanth, then Pratchett.)

Ned, you and Dan were the only people in the world to read Invisible Man? That sounds very odd. (or do you have a reading club as well?!) I see your current reading is not very light....

Also Ned: do you read more than one book at a time? You can tell us; we won't advertise your secrets (except in the Hastings Star Gazette of course).

No, from the attempt at a book club on this board. ;-)

Also Ned: do you read more than one book at a time?

Naturellement.

i can't wait for noizeboard pynchon reading room

Blood, sweat and tears, I tell you.

You read more than one book at a time? Yay, I'm feeling more normal by the second. (Or is that a Hastings characteristic that you have somehow absorbed with everything else? No matter, not being the only person to do this makes me irrationally pleased.)

I don't pretend to understand noizeboard anything, but my prediction is heavy on the blood and tears.

The Economy of Cities, by Jane Jacobs
Trickster Makes This World, by Lewis Hyde (tho I haven't picked it up in a long while)
Introduction to Zen Buddhism, by D.T. Suzuki
The Cosmic Serpent, by Jeremy Narby (actually finished yesterday, and it is SHIT SHIT SHIT. Holy crap, what a creampuff of a book. Friend recommended it and I had to very diplomatically come up with something nice to say. I mean, the premise is interesting, but the dude's final "point" is so hilariously inane, especially since its presented as being some next-level, mind-blowing shit.)

1. Some book about transitioning from developer to manager called Herding Cats: Blah Blah Blah Boring Bullshit
2. Some book about NP-Complete problems called Blah Blah More Bullshit You Should Have Read In College
3. Midnight Gates, the fifth book by Steve Erikson about the charming carnage and destruction in the (fictional) Malazan Empire.
4. The third Otherland book by Tad Williams.

SHOCK HORROR NO DOCTOR WHO BOOKS ON THE CURRENT ACTIVE LIST OMG

Speaking of Piers Anthony, hands up everyone who remembers Anthonology! YAY INCREDIBLY PERVERTED STORIES WHEN YOU ARE STILL IN JUNIOR HIGH!

Listening to: The Thirteenth Step - A Perfect Circle (possibly my favorite APC/Tool album, except MAYBE Undertow)

I DON'T KNOW YOU ANYMORE MAN.

Thank you for reminding me about Mr. Erikson there.

Thirteenth Step is, indeed, deeply wonderful and gorgeous. (Heard the new Tool yet?)

5) C#/.NET reference pages ARGH WORK I HATE YOU SO MUCH (aw baby, I didn't mean it; come back here with that paycheck)

So for everyone who has checked in reads more than one thing at a time, often several. Ha! Okay, so I got a little out of control once when I had, like 30 books going at once, but I have never gone that far again... it was a long time ago, I swear!

Piers Anthony and perverted stories and junior high. Frightening combo. Here I thought Heinlein was the dirty old man of the sci fi/fantasy genre. (I know, I know... I am woefully undereducated.)

Heinlein has NOTHING on Piers Anthony. Anthony has an entire series about parallel worlds where the society on one world has a naked slave caste that is used almost exclusively for menial labor and sex. Then there are the sex stories in Anthonology... seriously, I couldn't look at dairy cows or Barbie dolls without giggling for YEARS.

The stories weren't that great but knowing that they were written by the same guy who did XANTH = years of ROFFLEs.

Now speaking as one whole loves that earlier album... (That said, yes, I love me 10,000 Days. :-) )

Palahnuik I'm kinda indifferent on. He might actually be a better nonfiction writer.

Pervs in SF -- oh where to begin. (Should I even begin?)

How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship and Musical Theater by Mark Acito (listened to it on tape; it's laugh-out-loud funny and some of the antics of the characters seemed familiar to me)

Y: The Last Man graphic novels by Brian K. Vaughan

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon - okay, yeah, it's shelved in the romance section of a lot of stores, and that made me hesitate, too, but I was blown away by the historical detail and the story. The only thing I warn people about is that most of it is set in 1750s Scotland and there is at least one scene between the two main characters that might give pause.

Girl With a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier - I couldn't put it down.

I don't know, lately I haven't been falling in love with particular books the way I used to - so if I find something that I cannot put down I get really excited.

"Ah, Fergus, isn't the haggis at its best when you suck it right from the pig?"

*but not, 'cause this thread is kinda Minnesota-related, rite?

(Also, Fergus doesn't appear in the books until the second novel.) No, this is more of a "you are my wife and you disobeyed me, now there are consequences" sort of thing. Historically accurate, but uncomfortable in the modern era. Come to think of it, there are quite a lot of uncomfortable things in those books (I forgot about the Bad Guy, yikes, that is pretty disturbing - I can't believe I told my super conservative aunt to read them. OMG. I'd better get on the treadmill before I think about that too hard.)

Pig intact, I trust.

Actually this is probably just a baffled attention-seeking foot in the door since I'm not sure if I have anything Minnesota-related (much less Hastings-related) of note to mention except (a) it's hot as a bastard, (b) everyone's lawn is dying out here and (c) Rondell White hit a home run, HOLY SHIT. (note: are a & b caused by or an impetus for c? Further research must be done.)

Reading-wise I have been on a baseball kick. Just finished Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Blunders which is a bit misleading; half the "blunders" are actually pretty well justified -- "oh, nobody knew that the Robinson-Pappas trade would be all that stupid and the Reds dominated the '70s without Frank so it all worked out" is a typical argument. But the section on stupid draft choices is great because it gives him an excuse to make jokes at the expense of Marlins #5 pick Josh Booty. Next up: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Burning, about how the Yankees started to get good again amidst New York's 'Drop Dead' days. It's a storyline I've been interested in since it was mentioned in the first pages of Jeff Chang's Can't Stop Won't Stop.

Oh, probably.

Nate, you are right about insane heat and lawns. I can't speak to anything about baseball, but will breathlessly await your research on the combination of heat, lawns, and the national pastime. Our lawn is not looking great - although it's better near the garden since we actually water that. Bright side: lawn mowing ceases to be a problem. Down side: I fear walking to the mailbox because I'm worried the friction from my shoes will start a brush fire.

A: It was sta[pled to the chicken.

HAPPY MONDAY HASTINGS PPLS

My favorite image so far today.

RE: WAYRH

I've been on a Pratchett bender. In between, I return to Shalimar the Clown by the protodutchcartoonist, The Trivium, by Sister Mary Something or Other.

But really, I've gone about half way through the Diskworld series thjis summer, and I don't intend to stop, but I will need a breather shortly, because Pratchett's wit thins out a little in volume.

Should we do a top 10 recommended? I'll think on mine.

Small Gods, Maskerade and Interesting Times are probably his best books, though. AVOID Jingo and Carpe Juggulum!!!!!!!!!

I have never read Pratchett despite having numerous people try to foist it on my for the past 5 years. That is probably why I've been resisting.

This morning J. woke up at 6:30 am (is she really mine?), then stripped all her clothes off and announced that she had to wear her "purple dress with stars." Then she asked for toast. When I asked what she wanted on her toast, she told me, "I'll try... [long moment of thinking] ...salt." I said no and made toast with cinnamon and sugar, but dear god what is she going to do next. Meanwhile, 4l3x slumbers on.

J sounds like she is on the verge of bursting into HAUTE CUISINE.

Monsterous Regiment is great. Going Postal, Witches Abroad and The Fifth Elephant were a lot of fun as well. I'll have to pick up your recommendations next. I'm reading The Lost Continent right now and it's making me pause. OK, but more of the same, without adding much of anything.

Obviously I'm not reading anything in order, just whatever seems to be the most interesting when I go in for my fix.

J. is a maniac. Sometimes I get a terrifying flash of "she is just like me... 4l3x, too, but that's a lot less scary for some reason. J. loves food... she used to make sure she got to try everything before she could even talk by just being totally insistent. If we were eating something she just couldn't have (wasabe covered peanuts - superspicy hot choking hazard potential allergens) she'd get really mad. This started before she was a year old! Anyway, she kind of scares me.

FB, I like your notion of top ten recs. (Partially because then I don't have to pick one favorite... I just can't.)

She is rejecting the Hastings food heritage of Wonder bread and Oscar Mayer baloney.

Possibly the food was better at other people's houses; I don't know. I usually scavenged something decent at mine. My parents' house was often full of friends, but I can't remember many of them eating over. (God, except Ry4n R0th3r, and he practically lived at our house).

It was elk at our house. "Do you want some elk sausage for breakfast?" Argh, NO!!!!!

HOTDISH!

Food of the gods, I hear. Or not.

Anyway I thought you all ate walleyes that you went out and caught in your winter, which lasts from October to May.

The Lost Continent is one of the weaker ones, actually. I almost listed it as an AVOID but it's mostly harmless at the end of the day.

Pyramids and Moving Pictures are also both brilliant, as are Soul Music and Hogfather. Because I've pretty much been reading them as they've come out, I can't imagine reading them out of order, especially the police force ones! (A big chunk of Night Watch gets completely ruined by reading The Fifth Elephant before it, for example.)

The last time I ate walleye it was right after 4l3x was born; I didn't enjoy it much, actually and wound up eating again that night. (I was incredibly hungry when first nursing 4l3x, it was amazing.)

Our winter does last from October to May, if not longer. I'm sure I'm not the only person who remembers the huge Halloween blizzard of 1991 or how freaking cold it was right after that (hello wind tunnel on my way to my dorm room - St. Olaf is on a freaking HILL, btw, with no wind break for about 40 miles). The "summer" I visited Japan I left on June 10... and I was still wearing a lined coat up to the day I got on the plane. That was a damn cold spring. I love MN but I haaaaate being cold. Oh, inner turmoil.

Yeah, that's going to be a problem, but I'm not committed to reading them all, so much as I finish one up, and then while I'm waiting for the bus I think...hmmm, maybe I'll stop by Schinders and see what Pratchett they have left on the shelves.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who remembers the huge Halloween blizzard of 1991

I went as Molly Ringwald. Walking in a skimpy dress through snowdrifts up to my fake tits = chilly in pink.

Oh to have been at Gustavus that weekend.

I threw together some odd makeup, pajamas and Mickey Mouse ears thing to be Columbia, while my friend M414 dressed up as Eddie. Yes, Olaf had a late night showing of Rocky Horror. All I remember is walking through gorgeous snow to my dorm room at 2 or 3 am and still feeling pretty warm. Next day = coldest I'd ever been. I should never have cut my hair before going to Olaf.

People, what about MEAT RAFFLE?

We went to meet my uncle near Rogers when I was last back and the restaurant we went to was holding a meat raffle. My mother's attitude to these occasions is "oh good, let's win some meat!". So my mom incurs wrath of entire bar full of people looking to be suspicious of people from the Cities by winning about 60 per cent of all the rounds on like three tickets each round in a crowded bar. My mother has immaculate gambling luck for slot machines and tombolas for some reason - possibly karma. So. By the end of it she's cracking up and saying "let's get the bill before they lynch us..." because it seemed like Monday raffle was the highlight of the locality.

Ned, hotdish needs to have canned green beans, cream of mushrooom soup and french-fried onions as core ingredients, with at least two others, one of which might be tuna from a can. Pasta is only necessary in the dish if it is not being served with rice (though that has to be a Polish influence on my mom's part). Sara, you are describing hamburger which has been Helped.

My mother's hotdish is SHRIMP SHIT. One pot sour cream, one can CoM, one pound Gulf shrimp, one pound mushrooms sauteed in butter/shallots/splash of wine, shake of paprika. Serve over rice. Later, secretly pick giant shrimp out of leftovers to annoy mother.

suzy, your mom wins the cooking contest. Meat raffle? Oh my. I think it is the generic term "meat" that makes me squirm. (Before Happy Chef left Northfield forever, I used to gross myself out by reading the menu items, "waffles and meat," "pancakes and meat..." I'm sorry, can we be a bit more specific here?)

Can I kill myself now?

Most recent Cities Pages Best Meat Raffle I could find.

Oh how many times did I ask this of myself at mealtime...

(It's dark in there anyway).

As for your head, I'll install lighting.

My mom has been known to eat leftover shrimp shit for breakfast; we were never made to eat hotdish although our hamburger was Helped at points throughout the '70s. Actually, she'd totally kill me for calling it hotdish - I'm pretty sure it's some Polish-American hybrid she learned off her grandmother the Polish cafe owner as one of the five to ten things my mom can cook well. Otherwise FORGET IT, order out, save yourselves, ain't no cooking contest on the planet she'd win. Why does she eat at Bunny's three nights a week, after all?

Ooh, I think they say 'meat' at Happy Chef/Embers/Denny's/Perkins because of the eventual choice you have to make when Waitron comes to call: sausages/patties/links/ham/bacon. Part of me wants to say YUM SALT ALL OF THEM PLEASE. Our meat raffle wins were things like BBQ spices, sausages, steaks, chicken and some lovely smoked bacon.

Lighting might be tricky. Electrical currents in my head may be unreliable. Kerosene lamps not allowed.

I had heard all Wisconsin is a wannabe Minnesota, though.

I think it is the notion of the generic "meat" at any of those places that drives me to desperate fear. "Bacon" or "sausage" = so much less terrifying! (I had any number of friends who worked at the Hastings Perkins, btw. I really try not to think about that.)

Eating at restaurant owned by family = absolutely the best thing ever. That was the best part of having Carbone's; ready access to food at long last.

Heaven?

anyway, saw fluffy, subgenius, and j-just at superhopper on fri..fun tymes. new superhopper record sounds great.

M@tt, remember to pimp yer CD release party here. Aug. 11th? Entry? Confirm/deny.

yup! should be fun. cd turned out really well.

dirrty details:

fri, aug. 11th
7th st. entry
8pm doors/9pm show
$6/21+

maps of norway
spider fighter (arzu from selby tigers new band)
mercurial rage (depeche mode type synth stuff)
lazer forever (great early XTC type stuff)

guest DJ rev. ollie stench of ed gein fan club/drinking w/ian tv programme spins obscure new wave/kraut/punk between sets.

Books I'm currently (trying) to read, but I haven't been able to get far in anything:

Consider the Lobster - David Foster Wallace
American Gods - Neil Gaimen
The Clone Republic - Steve Kent

This kinda puts it mildly.

Part of the reason I haven't capitulated to the Sandman thing is that it is embarrassing how often everyone else is right about what I'm going to like. After the Indigo Girls concert we had a nice chat about the new Indigo Girls stuff I don't own and all the Sandman stuff A. doesn't have yet.

(tho I know that some people LOATHE DFW)

We seek only to make your life richer. (I pretty much feel the same way about Lost and people what say I will love it. Doubtless.)

the David Foster Wallace book is great, a collection of his magazine and non-fiction writing, has his piece for Premiere where he goes to the Adult Video News awards, which is one of my fav. mag pieces ever.....if only for the awkward dinner he has w/two grizzled porn journalists and the kid from A Christmas Story, who was at the time trying to make a new career as a porn actor/producer! crazy.

I love love love DFW, I really don't get the hate for him.

I loved this piece so much I saved it, and I can't say I'm much of a DFW guy. His description of Al Goldstein almost being borne aloft from the stage is killer.

Lost is great stuff, but the trouble is that you don't know if the writers have a clue where they are going with it the way you would if you had something with an ending in sight. (Chris Carter always said he did with X Files, but that seems to have been a huge lie.) That being said, most of the cast is delightful eye candy (except Jack, ugh, self-righteous jungle crashing annoying man) if nothing else.

I don't know, I've just been having trouble getting into anything lately. I hate that! I'm losing reading time here, people.

I did too, but then lost it in a move or something, I think Drew Barrymore was on the cover....so I was really looking forward to this collection, because I figured it would probably be included....There's also a great piece called "Host" where he spends some time w/a right wing junior varsity Rush Limbaugh dude in LA, very good....

Ned, if you don't love his fiction, this might be more the ticket for you....his non-fic is very good, perhaps even better than some of his fiction (which I love too)...I'd also recommend his earlier nonfic comp, A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again.

Lost: Jack = Ross, but worse because Lost is a fine show that doesn't kill you just a little bit by stealing slivers of your life and replacing them with the inanity that is Friends.

Reading the Bill Buford book Heat - completely recommended, all about working in the kitchens at Babbo. Went into a bit of a Fitzgerald detour when I saw some (snobbish but informative ) Zelda stories in a charity shop the other day.

At least Ross started out sympathetic; very annoying, though, you are right. ("We were on a break!" whine). On the other hand, Friends and Will and Grace were the only things that could make me laugh - or even smile - when I was hugely pregnant with J., helpless due to shattered elbow, completely drugged out on painkillers, and it seemed like everyone was dying (my grandfather, friend's baby... I'd f*cking never go back to 2002). Also, in real life I'm sure that Joey's dimness would be a huge turnoff, but for whatever reason I have been totally in love with that character forever. On Lost, I'd say Sayid and Hurley are my favorites. I will say also that Lost has spooked me seriously at least once.

...cryptic message ends.

(Seriously, John, I hope all is well.)

Details to (possibly not) follow.

It's not a real blog, it's a Myspace blog. feh. I think this will work:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=2475436

It should be noted that the time span of the relationship in question is a little less than 5 years.

You may now reconvene the funny. Also, all you hot unattached ILX MPLS ladies in the hizzy are invited to step forward and make yerself known. (Note:FB, you do not qualify as a hot ILX MPLS lady.)

Nice you're finally confessing to being from outer space. Some of us knew (maybe just suspected) years ago.

I don't think it's any secret that Dan and John and FB had the most unusual taste in music of (almost) anyone that I ran across, and sometimes if you were a bit more mundane, you might get mercilessly teased. Well, it happened that a friend of ours (M3l) decided to go see a Harry Connick, Jr. concert but did not want to deal with silly jokes. Apparently this was so much the case that she had a dream in which she defiantly pronounced, "well, just because every band I listen to doesn't have a name like 'Aborted Baby in My Carburetor..." (This is yet another story that M3l doesn't remember, but which I had the sense to write down.)

Now to make myself a target of mocking, I will admit to going to see Billy Joel and Elton John in concert together a few years ago. That's what happens to mothers.

i already invented this, on the chicago thread.

it is called BeerPal

JJ - sorry, dude :(

It must have been my rugged, masculine good looks. Hellooooo ladies!

in case there was any doubt:

HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE SHOULD INVENT BEERPAL!!! ORDER BEERS FOR DISTANT PALS OVER THE INTERNET!

-- gbx (polarbea...), July 3rd, 2006 1:48 PM. (skowly) (link)

I refuse to believe this. And if you dragged your kids along it's child abuse. *runs away*

(My friend C0ry watched the kids because she will never come to any kind of live music thing with us. I insisted that A. come to Indigo Girls with us last week even though he is not a huge fan because last time I went alone with 4ndr3w and - of course - ran into a college professor who knew A. and I are married. Awkward moment as I introduced 4ndr3w with no real explanation. "This is my best friend's husband" didn't seem appropriate...)

So a few months ago I'm again on the treadmill watching Buffy, and all the adults in Sunnydale are acting crazy. Willow says something like, "where are all the old people going? Is there a Billy Joel concert in town?" I laughed, but again was reminded that sometimes I am an adult with cheesy taste.

Why do I never have stories that are about anything than me watching tv while on the treadmill? That is how I avoid being pulled on by my children.

We live in a dark world, Ned. Even Billy Joel knows it by now.

True, he had to be interviewed by James Lipton once. That had to have given him a view of the dark tarry squelching abyss at the heart of humanity.

Oh, I'll just suck it up and keep on living. Because that is what you do when you are my age.

http://whatjeffkilled.com

I'll call you tonight.

http://83.136.68.93/kitler/pics/kitler8.jpg

It's Hitler Cat Tuesday!

Happy Birthday, Elmo.

http://83.136.68.93/kitler/pics/kitler102.jpg

http://static.flickr.com/52/192605109_917ebfcfd7.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/75/192605112_b0d3e1a05c.jpg?v=0

"Hmmmm. Holocaust, starting bloody world war...let's make him one of those freaky big-eared hairless cats."

Happy Birthday Elmo. I'll find a birthday htlercat photo for you later.

Please let this not mean that I'm going to have to go through P.E. class again for my numerous misdeeds.

John, hope you are doing okay today. If you're still planning to meet FB, M3liss4, (possibly subgenius and P3rry?), I'll buy you a drink. Or a piece of cake of your choice, whatever.

That ought to do it. Less hitler, but more birthday. According to the site I found that last picture on, that cat is the oldest cat in the world and is 32 YEARS OLD. Perhaps that is why it looks like it wants to die. If I was 170 years old, I would feel like that cat too.

I am also ILE-ing and talking to John Justen AT THE SAME TIME

I'm not from Minnesota at all and I understand everything JUST FINE. (I might lie.)

So anyway we're going up to Brainerd and...

Todays theme is
PETS IN TROUBLE.

but if yr not from hastings like me some of it is going - zip - right over yr head!

The Indefinable Hastings Mystique carries on...

FB and John - thanks for the great stories last night; I hope that lovely C4lli3 person was not too bored. She seemed entertained by the photos, anyway. (FB, at some point we should somehow put scanner together with photos; if nothing else Dan should see that priceless clip I have of John from the Hastings Star Gazette.) I think M3liss4 tells the best stories; sorry I could not stop laughing.

Also, the "my one skill" thing M3l was referring to A. claiming that I have is breastfeeding. I can't begin to imagine what you thought she meant...

GOD

Also everyone should run out and buy The Eraser right now.

Also, John had a great story about you and Mr. Hebert's biology class which I totally didn't remember. (Was I not in school that day? Or was I spacing out? I know we had that class together.)

Great photos, Sara. Thanks. Yay nursing school!

I am also ILE-ing and "working" AT THE SAME TIME

I know. I know. This sounds terribly familiar to most of you.

Do what I do, have no friends from high school. Er, wait.

(Seriously -- I had no real friends from high school I kept in any regular contact with at all once I got to UCLA. In ways I think this is what's given me a healthy distance from high school mentalities. I hope. ;-) YOUR mentalities, however, are all brilliant. ;-) )

FB, glad you enjoyed the photos. M3l = hysterically funny at every moment of her life. I have no idea how she does that. 15 years was clearly too long.

Yay nursing school? Okay, we'll see. All I have is prerequisites for the next year and a half. Human anatomy in the fall! And you know how I love to dissect. (Seriously, does anyone not remember that it makes me really hungry? Ah, to be reunited once more with Pepperoni, my fondly remembered fetal pig from my senior year advanced bio class...) At any rate, nursing school = so far happy news in terms of meeting up with old friends.

Ned, our mentalities were formed by the crucible that is Hastings Senior High School. (Okay, possibly specific subsets of that place). Oddly, I only keep in contact with a couple of people from my actual graduating class - every other class seemed to have brilliant people that I adored. I continue to be grateful for every one of them.

(and here ends my sappy message)

Putin kissed boy 'like a kitten'

Also everyone needs to go to IMDB.com and watch the trailer for "Dracula 3000".

Why, you're a great mom! In that you are talking to us and not watching soaps. Er, wait.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 19th, 2006 9:44 AM. (Ned) (link)

10 bucks says Sara knows for a fact that her children are still breathing right now, and that they are still way too young to have figured out the trick where they water down her gin.

Soaps = your own personal MST3K.

NO

http://mst3k.booyaka.com/episodes/images/313%20-%20Earth%20Vs.%20The%20Spider/313h2.jpg

Of course, I blame the rest of you for all the recent Sound of Music talk.

I am going to be an awful father.

I think I might have been wrong, Dan.

I should probably eat lunch, I'm guessing.

Is ILX run by NFs?

I?m an INTP (78-25-12-78).

I can't decide if this means that I have Multiple Personality Disorder or if I'm just wildly inconsistent from day to day. Possibly it is all connected with my inability to pick a favorite of any given set of objects/things/people/ideas/other nouns I'm missing.

Means you're part of the TEAM now! Hey sporto, let's go play some golf.

Wait, that can't be right.

So I took the test and scored this today: ENFJ
Extroverted - 22% Intuitive - 50% Feeling - 50% Judging - 89%

But I have to say that I really hate the questions. "You trust reason rather than feelings." Argh, I trust both and I hate that "choose the best answer" crap. Is there a test for whether you are just kind of a cranky test-hating person? Not that we don't know how I'd score on that...

Not exactly a shocker, I don't think.

Really? Never would have guessed that.

That's what being an ENTP is all about.

http://www.gluttonsess.com/blog/9nakedmen_small.jpg

Brain bleach again, please.

http://www.pethelp.net/catlick.jpg

I like to share.

I guess not. Too bad.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/2005/08/16/2002442644.jpg

http://orpheus.ucsd.edu/speccoll/dspolitic/pm/1942/20227cs.jpg