alright this shit's getting too big now ... MORE EXCELSIOR, MORE HA-HA-HA POSTS, MORE LAUGHING

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wook at da widdle baby
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 11th, 2003 8:54 AM. (James Blount) (later) (link)

They were, and they were called Ui.

-- NickB (nic...), December 11th, 2003. (later)

Note to self: Must stop speaking in garble.

-- NickB (nic...), December 11th, 2003. (later)

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Nah, about Justine Frischmann. All the songs on the first album were about her. Apparently the songs are straight, but with her gender changed to male to obscure her identity.
-- THAT Kate (masonicboo...), December 9th, 2003. (kate) (later)

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Don't disillusion C-lum! He thinks the songs are for him.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), December 9th, 2003. (Nicole) (later)

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Mandee was thinking of Take Me Up The Arse (Not Really Mum) - the German import B-side.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), December 9th, 2003. (nickdastoor) (later)

Sorry for this thread which is the worst I've ever started but I do honestly want to know.

-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), December 11th, 2003.

--

On a related note, I have the world's largest prime member.

Yeah, but mine is number.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), December 11th, 2003. (Tuomas) (later)

From all the sex I have EVERY DAY!

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), December 11th, 2003. (Tuomas) (later)

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But that's logical, animals and human's are different shapes.
-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), December 11th, 2003.

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BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT HUMANS! Why would they wear human clothes? They wear animal clothes!
-- NA (naamm...), December 11th, 2003

i wouldn't trust gareth as far as i could throw him (300 yards)
-- stevem (bluesk...), December 11th, 2003 12:13 PM. (blueski) (later) (link) (admin) (62.140.207.140)

< shirley bassey >

gold...FEEEEEENGER!!!

< /shirley bassey>

I've seen trent reznor and quintron in the quarter on various occasions (never together of course)

-- Felcher (wangchungvsah...), December 11th, 2003.

Why did you get to see Trent Reznor?

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 11th, 2003.

the french quarter in new orleans, he used to ride his bike around town a lot. my ex-girlfriend goes to the same Mardi Gras party that he does.

-- Felcher (wangchungvsah...), December 11th, 2003.

Not fair.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 11th, 2003.

that's what i said.

-- Felcher (wangchungvsah...), December 11th, 2003.

-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), December 11th, 2003 9:10 PM.

No. It shouldn't.

-- Allyzay (grr...), December 11th, 2003 9:22 PM.

D'oh! Again, DMB does not suck, they're very talented actually. Boring? Maybe. Depends on your musical background and what you're into. Someone who is used to jams and what you call "boring music" is more apt to be interested in say the DMB and not something more intense. At least DMB have some sort of strong instrumental foundation, while Coldplay is just...there.
-- Allison (derangedduc...), December 11th, 2003. (later)

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Talented??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 11th, 2003. (later)

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No it's not.
-- C-Man (cma...), December 11th, 2003.

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yes it is.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), December 11th, 2003

The movie not the show!
-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), December 11th, 2003. (later)

"yu gung"
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...) (webmail), December 11th, 2003. (later)

A Blixa muppet would kick so much ass.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), December 11th, 2003. (later)

Life's like a movie, write your own ending...
-- ModJ (Mod...) (webmail), December 11th, 2003. (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i think this is for the best, you have outgrown it now. it is wise to realise when it is time to move on
-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 11th, 2003.

Tie bandanas around apples and sic them on the blood oranges.

- Tep

-- N. (nickdastoo...), December 11th, 2003.

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(that wasn't supposed to sound excited, btw)
-- N. (nickdastoo...), December 11th, 2003.

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Holy crap what?
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), December 12th, 2003. (aja)

Heidi! (out of Sugababes)
-- Tom

PAM IS TEH CUTETS

-- Dean Gulberry (drunken_bastar...), December 11th, 2003

^... has made me laugh out loud twice now. and I don't even know why! scary

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As do we all.
-- Trayce (trayc...), December 12th, 2003 3:20 AM. (trayce) (later)

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I'm currently, right now, having as many lesbian orgies as I possibly can.
-- Andrew (n...), December 12th, 2003 3:22 AM. (enneff) (later)

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how many are you at so far
-- scissors (onehal...), December 12th, 2003 3:24 AM. (Honda) (later)

This is the thread where I answer to you with literal translations of obscure Finnish proverbs.

I am going to print it out and keep it, and maybe make little cartoon illustrations to go with it!

------------------------------------

Jason.

I'ma just tell you what my daddy told me from his death bed. He lay there, still and quiet, his eyes sunk deep into his face, and slowly reached out one skinny arm towards me, taking my hand tenderly, as one might pluck a delicate rose from a spring flowerbed. He lived life as a man's man, but in death he was so fragile and anonymous. more like a lost child. He stroked the back of my hand with one finger and gingerly pulled me closer. Already a few phrases were bubbling in the back of his skinny throat, but he lacked the strength to set them free. I leaned in further and caught what were to be his final words: "Son...keep it gangsta", he sighed. And with that, he was gone.

Hope that helps.

Petey

-- Petey P@blo (Sinner@RaiseUp.com)

-- Ronan

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...) (webmail), December 12th, 2003 7:50 AM. (Tuomas) (later) (link)
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Wiping the table with a cat?

-- Rob M (durutti24...) (webmail), December 12th, 2003 7:50 AM. (Rob M) (later) (link)
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The tricks are many.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...) (webmail), December 12th, 2003 7:51 AM. (Tuomas) (later) (link)

i think norah jone's should take pity on her and they could do a duet together, perhaps about the role aromatic oils could play in a barter economy untainted by big business. come on norah, have a heart, at least by a little oil

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 10th, 2003 9:59 AM. (gareth)

As a little boy, Geir’s mother would take him up into the mountains of Norway where they would listen to Tales Of Topographic Oceans by Yes. Even as a child, he was so taken by the complex harmony and melody of that experience.

http://www.beautycafe.com/images/geir.gif

Feel the Power of Norway! From the creator and designer of some of the most intractably bizarre musical theory ever encountered on ilx, Geir Hongro introduces his first Norwegian fragrance for men, GEIR The Power of Norway. GEIR Eau de Parfum for men captures the crisp Norwegian mountains... blended to the sounds of Toploader, Britpop and other "real European music" Hongro creates this harmonic, melodic and actually very brilliant scent. Available in two sizes 50ml and 100ml.

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), June 5th, 2003.

i think thats funny

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 12th, 2003.

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You did it with an intern. Right on.
-- El Spinktor (jerk_potat...), December 12th, 2003 1:55 PM. (El Spinktor)

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Oh, yes, sorry, didn't mean to necessarily imply that.
-- Casuistry (chri...), December 12th, 2003 1:55 PM. (Chris Piuma)

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Still you really should think twice before accepting an internship.
-- Casuistry (chri...), December 12th, 2003 1:56 PM. (Chris Piuma)

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Cuz sooner or later, I'm gonna try to hump you.
-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...), December 12th, 2003 1:56 PM. (Horace Mann)

Everybody in the house say "TIMMEH"
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), December 12th, 2003 1:04 PM. (natedetritus)

At least two had pube-staches.

They proceeded to loudly walk around the store and go through nearly every CD - RECITING FROM MEMORY - Pfork's ratings (yes, the numerical ratings) and their opinion on the record. They were especially upset with Northern State. They also didn't understand why Pitchfork was talking about hip-hop. But they agreed with the Broken Social Scene assessment.

The indie-ish girl behind the counter was not enticed to take her clothes of by their knowledge.

None of them bought anything.

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 12th, 2003. (later) (link)

Europeans would complain about America's "pasteurized" sound.
-- Rockist Scientist (rockistscientis...) (webmail), December 12th, 2003 4:26 PM. (rockistscientist) (later) (link)

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My digital camera show picture fine but when I download to computer the picture is not centered.What can I do to correct this.Thanks
-- betty drake (betty2...), December 13th, 2003 10:12 AM.

Answers

Dear Betty,
A goat or other small quadruped sacrificed to Ashtaroth on a pentagram-shaped altar will usually clear this problem right up. Unless you have a Nikon.

-- Marcel Post (marcel_pos...), December 13th, 2003 10:20 AM. (Marcel Post)

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and now i am dealing with a bigger hinder.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 13th, 2003. (later) (link)

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- robert frost
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 13th, 2003. (later) (link)

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 14th, 2003.

-- ModJ (Mod...), December 13th, 2003. (later)

Man, the joke's on her. I haven't washed it since Tuesday.

-- Eyeball Kicks (eyeball_kick...), December 13th, 2003. (later)

-- may pang (pange...), December 14th, 2003.

-- fiddo centington

-- Nihilist Pop Star (current31...), December 14th, 2003.

-- Cynthia Rose Butikofer (whitneybutikofe...), December 15th, 2003.

Answers

for a minute I thought your last name was 'butfuker'

-- A Girl Named Sam (dallasdeadgir...), December 15th, 2003.

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or sir mix-a-lot.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 15th, 2003.

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he's a 'rugged short order cook'! scattered smothered and covered nas!
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 15th, 2003.

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i know i can! make scrambled eggs with cheese!
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 15th, 2003.

-- Cynthia Rose Butikofer (whitneybutikofe...), December 15th, 2003 7:49 PM. (later)

Answers

for a minute I thought your last name was 'butfuker'

-- A Girl Named Sam (dallasdeadgir...), December 15th, 2003 7:50 PM. (thatgirl)

"I SEND THIS SLOPPY KISS TO YOU!"

(Modern Pete Burns, er.)

-- geeta (geet...), December 15th, 2003.

you like anything german

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 15th, 2003.

i don't like nazis!

-- geeta (geet...), December 15th, 2003.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 12th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wait, I just remembered: I don't like beefcake.

-- Casuistry (chri...), December 12th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

No manly men for Casuistry.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 12th, 2003.
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Sorry, Ned.

-- Casuistry (chri...), December 12th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

MY HEART IS BENT

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 12th, 2003.

-- spittle (ptu...), December 15th, 2003.
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(in the way that guys are, you know, babes)

-- spittle (ptu...), December 15th, 2003.
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(like jude law and those dudes in velvet goldmine)

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 15th, 2003.
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Mmm, tell me more about myself.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 15th, 2003.
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ew.

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 15th, 2003.
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it just got weird didn't it

-- mark p (mark.p****...), December 15th, 2003.
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Yay!

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 15th, 2003.

-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...), December 12th, 2003.

-- MarkH (mark_e_heste...), December 13th, 2003.

Answers
fuck you.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), December 13th, 2003.

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I mean fuck you.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), December 13th, 2003.

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fuck.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), December 13th, 2003.

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it'd mean even more "Should I order cheese with this Whopper?"

...

Well, SHOULD I?!

-- El Santo Claus (jdsalmo...), December 13th, 2003.

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unfunniest thread ever. fuck you.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), December 13th, 2003.

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RJG has one fucking imagination.
-- A Nairn (moreta...), December 13th, 2003.

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what the fuck does that mean?
-- RJG (r_gillander...), December 13th, 2003.

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what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
-- RJG (r_gillander...), December 13th, 2003.

-- Pete

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), December 15th, 2003. (later)

"these are not my beautiful wives/these are not my beautiful houses"
-- notfazed

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), December 15th, 2003. (Dan Perry) (later)

You can if you stick your finger down your throat when you're done eating it.

-- Allyzay (helpful @tips.com), December 15th, 2003. (later)

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You have made me long for the future in the worst way.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), December 15th, 2003.

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No, it would be an alternate universe Hulk that takes place in the Reconstruction-era South.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), December 15th, 2003 2:49 PM. (later)

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HULK SMASH SEGREGATION!
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), December 15th, 2003 2:50 PM. (later)

(Nickalicious knows that I automatically have to post any "HULK SMASH" joke here.)

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), December 15th, 2003. (later)

I opt out of chat-up lines.
-- RJG (r_gillander...) (webmail), December 15th, 2003. (later)

i think they're provided by Red Cross. i could be wrong.
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...) (webmail), December 15th, 2003. (later)

But, but! What if you could be revived and the doctor treating you secretly gets paid by an evil company that traffics in organs - and he let's you die so that he gets paid for your pieces!
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), December 15th, 2003. (later)

The NHS can't afford that.
-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...) (webmail), December 15th, 2003. (later)

you're ugly.
crosspost.

-- RJG (r_gillander...) (webmail), December 15th, 2003. (later)

get what? a kidney?
xpost.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), December 15th, 2003. (later)

no, ROGER Clinton would be gravy
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...) (webmail), December 15th, 2003. (later)

I've been trying to figure this out for a long time. All I ever hear about her is "give this woman a Prozac," or "music to slit your wrists to," dread despair suicide ad nauseam til the cows come home.
And I don't really hear it.
Cite some instances where Cat Power actually conveys "depression," and stick to talking about the songs instead of the live antics.
-- bad jode (jod...), December 16th, 2003.

I'm not saying she's cheerful, but I'm tired of her being the strawman for indie gloom when there are dozens (hundreds?) of equally/more gloomy artists one could point to.
-- bad jode (jod...), December 16th, 2003.

to me, her voice has an innate melancholy quality. which adds positively to her less-overtly-sad songs and makes her obviously-sad-songs quite unlistenable.
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), December 16th, 2003.

melancholy != depressed
-- bad jode (jod...), December 16th, 2003.

i don't find her music depressing, unless you're including lyrically. "names" is totally fucking depressing lyrically.
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), December 16th, 2003.

depressing != depressed
-- bad jode (jod...), December 16th, 2003.

apparently i've missed the point
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), December 16th, 2003.

I saw her the other night, actually. and she did exactly what she does on record--no antics, no breakdowns--which is sound petulant and passive-aggressive, which are generally not-bad signs someone is depressed. right, they don't = depressed, but they sure signal it.
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), December 16th, 2003.

matos otm
-- Dean Gulberry (drunken_bastar...), December 16th, 2003.

matos != otm
-- N. (nickdastoo...), December 16th, 2003

No, they were hanging from my ears.
-- N. (nickdastoo...) (webmail), December 16th, 2003. (later)

PLEASE TELL ME YOU WERE WEARING PANTS
-- Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), December 16th, 2003. (later)

Don't count on it!
-- kirsten (kickyouintheshin...) (webmail), December 16th, 2003. (later)

Of course I was wearing pants.

-- N. (nickdastoo...) (webmail), December 16th, 2003. (later)

What do you mean by 'pants'?
-- N. (nickdastoo...) (webmail), December 16th, 2003. (later)

I MEAN TROUSERS OH NO OUT OUT MENTAL IMAGES
-- Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), December 16th, 2003. (later)

Saying that, I can only do Mr T, which if you do in falsetto turns into Yoda.

-- Johnney B (stigoftdum...), December 15th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill Cosby.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), December 15th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Fool, no plane getting on I ain't"
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), December 15th, 2003. (later) (link)

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(That was Bill Cosby, obv)
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), December 15th, 2003. (later) (link)

-- teeny (teen...), December 16th, 2003 8:49 PM. (teeny) (link)

-- TOMBOT (fuckeverythin...), December 16th, 2003 8:07 PM. (link) (216.15.42.235)

Tom, you just wrote an Atari Teenage Riot song!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), December 16th, 2003 8:07 PM. (link) (152.163.253.35

-- David R. (ilxo...), December 16th, 2003. (later)

-- M Matos

-------------

"ooh! it's sort of crinkly! it's just like all that crap pitter-pat guitar stuff I listen to only done by laptops! oooh!"

-- M Matos

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), December 16th, 2003. (later)

-- Chris B. Sure (formerlypoopsmcge...), December 16th, 2003. (later) (link)

...I found this task in my e-mail box today.
"if you are not too busy, will you help me along with some research on Vaseline (plain old) allergies? Someone's penis has apparently turned into a cinnamon bun, and now he won't stop doing it to stun and amaze his friends but wants to know if it's dangerous. I have called Lever and am waiting for the corporate party line."

-- Chuck Tatum (sappy_papp...), December 16th, 2003. (later) (link)

Shakira: "Your ears say no, but that raging boner says yes."
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), March 26th, 2003 2:41 PM.

The Fall: "Repetition in the music and we're never gonna -- you're all fired-ah!"
-- Sam Jeffries (xp75hid0...), March 26th, 2003 3:26 PM.

Julio Iglesias: "Hello? Hey, pretty laydee... no, no Enrique's not home right now. I'll tell him you called. OK, bye.
"Aiii..."

-- William Bloody Swygart (thingummy9...), March 26th, 2003 6:14 PM.

Limp Bizkit - 'We're here, we're queer, get used to it!'
-- dave q (scrape10...), March 27th, 2003 6:06 AM.

...and I had to stop there because EVERY ONE of dave q's entries is genius.

Probably something boring. Um speeding? Or knocking a policeman unconscious with a mallet and then injecting him with heroin? Or jaywalking? One of those.

-- NA (naamm...), December 16th, 2003 9:16 AM. (Nick A.)

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), December 16th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

booooooo

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 16th, 2003.

-- ModJ (Mod...), December 16th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

That first part.

-- ModJ (Mod...), December 16th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

The part with the hot girl.

-- bnw (rilke...), December 16th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah.

-- ModJ (Mod...), December 17th, 2003.

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), December 17th, 2003 8:57 PM. (epicharmus)

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(I cant help it... the VISUAL IT GAVE ME OH DEAR GOD NO)

-- may pang (pange...), December 17th, 2003. (later) (link)

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"PLACE"
-- unknown or illegal user (), December 17th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"is"
-- unknown or illegal user (), December 17th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"THis"
-- unknown or illegal user (), December 17th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"t"
-- unknown or illegal user (), December 17th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"..=er7hgyghhnc"
-- unknown or illegal user (), December 17th, 2003.

Both were from Detroit,
:::sigh:::::

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), December 16th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Such a statement would normally make me go completely supernova, but I don't have it in me today. Morever, Alice Cooper was originally from Arizona, but moved to Detroit.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), December 16th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

only truly classic album was "Destroyer".
How can you not "give props" (as they used to say) to Dressed to Kill. You hurt me so deeply in my heart that I must go fetch some Rolaids.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), December 16th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd give more props to the underrated and misunderstood "The Elder".

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), December 16th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You should be buried alive for that comment.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), December 16th, 2003.

HERE I BURNED YOU THE NEW OAKENFOLD ON MY BSD BOX

I HATE MY DADDY

-- TOMBOT (ralp...), October 14th, 2003.

Again, apologies if I'm wrong about this (P.S. I've seen your posts on other message forums turn up in The Guardians "Internet hell" column, or whatever they call it, by the way Pashmina - dunno if you knew this).

I'm sorry, I did actually LOL at that. Thanks, RickyT, I needed a laugh so badly right now. :-)

perhaps an experienced statesman like Clinton or George Mitchell? A revolving committee with two of every race, with Mandela's seal of approval and an opening ceremony?
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), December 17th, 2003 7:40 AM. (Ronan)

I second the call for an opening ceremony. And Muhammed Ali should be there, too.

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 17th, 2003 10:45 AM. (dubplatestyle) (later)

-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), December 15th, 2001. (link)

Luna, you sound more like a gay man all the time.
-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...), December 17th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I mean, "you are our ROC-- @d@ml (nordi">K!!!!"
-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), December 17th, 2003 8:57 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just don't take me for granite.
-- NA (naamm...), December 17th, 2003 8:57 PM.

Totally stupid, bit FITS.

didn't Ben Seaver once get a crotch disorder from being a paperboy? that was a confusing episode.
-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...), December 17th, 2003 1:56 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think that was one of those unaired "Growing Pains After Dark" episodes.
-- El Santo Claus (jdsalmo...), December 17th, 2003 2:21 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're thinking of Groin Pains.
-- Casuistry (chri...), December 17th, 2003 2:29 PM. (later)

actually though
this whole thread is comick gold,
erotick and sad

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 17th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it can reach 'new levels' gareth.

-- Julio Desouza (juli...), December 17th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bloody ravers

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), December 17th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know what the word means N.
-- Julio Desouza (juli...), December 17th, 2003 5:29 PM. (jdesouza) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna, don't move, etc.
-- Casuistry (chri...), December 17th, 2003 6:32 AM. (Chris Piuma)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love how 'etc' totally passes for foreplay now.
-- teeny (teen...), December 17th, 2003 6:34 AM. (teeny)

-- d k (iforge...), December 18th, 2003 4:06 PM.

d k's like what would happen if a prick and a genius got stuck in a nuclear chamber together!

How many wannabe Athens thugs do we have on this board, anyway?

Make sure you have images on.

The first time I heard Lil Flip was on an episode of Fastlane. I'm fucking lame. I drove through the Midwest once, when I was a kid. I mostly remember the hotels. I saw the baseball stadium in Chicago, on the way through, just from the highway. I love expensive running shoes. I have more Radiohead CDs than UGK ones. But sometimes I just want to pretend! "Don't rap about what you saw in the Scarface movie, nigga, when you can't even spell Uzi, nigga. We live this."

-- d k (shiftke...), December 18th, 2003 4:09 PM.

-- charltonlido (charltonlid...), December 17th, 2003 2:47 PM. (gareth)

From the barnyard romance ILM album cover thread, you'd have to see the preceding pictures to find it funny.

The boy N.: Yes, apparently doing doing anything to track down a girl who likes you whose phone number and address you don't know (by finding out their timetable and waiting outside one of their classes) is creepy bonkers, as is later visiting their house repeatedly cos they're never in. It's all very sad and unfair.
-- Graham (dtc...), October 30th, 2002

i miss that chap

-- mark e

--------------------------

Wow... not one conventional indie-rock single in the Top 10. That's a pretty dramatic volte-face.
-- Jason J

-------------------------

Veni vidi vici.
-- Tico Tico

(prolly only funny to Americans who watch too much TV. Had to bite my tongue from busting out laughing.)

(You know.... the penis.)

-- Melora (melor...), December 18th, 2003.

The bed of roses sounds kind of uncomfortable. No thanks.
-- felicity (felicityredwel...), February 12th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bed of ferrero rocher then
-- mark s (mar...), February 12th, 2003.

-- queen laqueefa (barne...), January 26th, 2003. (link)

-- felicity (felicityredwel...), December 17th, 2003.

-- stevem (bluesk...), December 18th, 2003. (blueski) (later)

No dildo's for that crazy hell-exiting bat

-- Dave B (dave.boyl...), December 18th, 2003. (daveb) (later)

-- Andrew Farrell

JESUS!

-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), December 18th, 2003 4:37 PM. (later)

99% of you have no idea what you're talking about. Stephan has no lisp. I challenge any of you to come up with a band that has more substance, with more musical and lyrical appeal. I fucking dare ANY OF YOU.
-- calebp (noemai...), December 19th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 19th, 2003. (later) (link)

Lyrics,

I had a woman but she was unclean. Please watch out for that.

As for kids, I think of my music as my children. Shit's unsupervised, kno what I'm sayin?

The accident was the other guy's fault. I'm insured up the ass and I know all the right niggas. Right know that dude is farting steel shavings in Sing Sing.

take care,
Kanye

-- k@nye (PHD@hotmail.com)

-- Dean Gulberry (drunken_bastar...), December 19th, 2003 11:26 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

-- Al (hoteloper...), December 19th, 2003.

And I still ask if I was being joked with.

fuck your face.

-- Ian Johnson (orio...), December 19th, 2003 1:34 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, are we going for a Chinese first?
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), December 18th, 2003.

-- Geir Hongro (of course)

(This is my first post to these threads I think)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wait, does this thread title mean that Bruce Springsteen is the Hulk? He kind of looks like him.
CAN'T START FIRE/CAN'T START FIRE WITHOUT SPARK/THIS HULK FOR HIRE/EVEN IF WE'RE JUST DANCING IN DARK WITH PUNY HUMAN/HULK SMASH WEINBERG

-- NA (naamm...), December 18th, 2003 12:37 AM. (Nick A.)

This is Moyles being a tosser round the back of my brother's house.
-- ailsa (ailsa_watson7...), December 19th, 2003.

I think my aunt and I almost pissed ourselves right there on the street we were laughing so hard.

And that is why you should never ogle wimmin folks in an obvious way. You'll end up in a neckbrace.

-- Allyzay (badcommercia...), December 19th, 2003. (later) (link)

All of it. The entire lovely thread should be framed.

no White Stripes or Yeah Yeah Yeahs. ...praise the lord ! Pitchfork are no longer Indie Rockers!

-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), December 19th, 2003. (later)

Martian that is not the exact conclusion I'd draw from this list.
-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), December 19th, 2003. (later)

i know..tico..a bit of friday humour ;-)
-- DJ Martian (altmartinu...), December 19th, 2003. (later)

it's fun to talk funny talk.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 19th, 2003. (later)

Johnny Vaughan. "How many pigeons were killed by Tigers last year"
Kelly Brook. "Umm, five percent"
J. No, the correct .... WHAT????
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), December 19th, 2003.

Yes I know you shouldn't post your own postings here.. but I did not say it and it still makes me laugh..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Chris 'Knuckle Deep' V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), December 19th, 2003 4:10 PM. (Chris V) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Holy Bootyflakes, Raggett!"
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), December 19th, 2003 4:28 PM. (natedetritus) (later)

I really hope this post contains that Dan & Ned pic - I am half pissed at work and I larfed out lou, honestly!

-- Aimless (aimles...), December 19th, 2003. (later) (link)

-- Keith Harris (kharris3...), December 19th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really liked the trousers you were wearing last night.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), August 6th, 2003.

I was about to say, Dan, what is the difference between that guy and you? ;-)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), October 15th, 2002.

SMITE SMITE SMITE SMITE SMITE SMITE SMITE SMITE SMITE

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), October 15th, 2002.

See, this is why I was so happy to finally see your winsome smile in the flesh, now I can imagine it mouthing these tender words.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), October 15th, 2002.

The basic problem with his lyrics is that it's all to easy to imagine every phrase run together with ".blogspot.com" on the end.
(This was not his fault obv.)

-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), December 18th, 2003

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no, wait, of bollocks, rather
-- Jay Kid (chaaam...), December 19th, 2003.

-- Allyzay (mybodyi...), December 19th, 2003.

Alex K

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i mean like at all?
"ooh ooh i shall put my insubstantial hand through you!"

-- mark s (mar...), December 20th, 2003 12:18 AM. (later)

oh my god, doomie was gollum all along!

'Mad World' has won it, apparently.
-- James Mitchell (jame...), December 21st, 2003. (later)

I heard "Mad World" for the first time today - FUCK ME ITS AWFUL. I also heard it 3 times and the Darkness 0 so James is probably right :(
-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), December 21st, 2003. (later)

-- DarrensCoq (darrensco...), December 21st, 2003.

-- Aja

a little ironic maybe cause i'm posting it but very much 'the pot calling the ketle black'!

----------------------------

she can genitally engineer me anytime!
-- C-Man

-- Frank Kogan (edcasua...), December 22nd, 2003.

if you were l33t you would know these things, i do not ph34r you
-- ron (ohronn...), December 22nd, 2003. (ron)

ohno, /. strikes ILX!!!
(ron, you seriously made me crack up there (; )

---------------------------------

he's pointing toward the magical scrapple.
-- scott seward

------------------------------------

What?
-- Aja

----------------------------------

the magical scrapple gave me my other christmas gift this year
-- fiddo centington

---------------------------------

What?
-- Aja

--------------------------------

What what?
-- fiddo centington

---------------------------

What was your other gift?
-- Aja

-------------------------------

Tonight on Crossfire!
-- Ned Raggett

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), December 22nd, 2003. (later)

I am sure this shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did, my bad?!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

u&k re technique finesse: has the prisoner killed the cop's best mate or his own best mate?
-- mark s (mar...), June 7th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark, the prisoner has killed the cop's best mate, who is another cop.
-- colin s barrow (colinsbarro...), June 7th, 2003.

-- TOMBOT (hidde...), December 22nd, 2003

-- Allyzay (victoria...), December 18th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You changed your name to Tico Tico.
-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), December 23rd, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bet you could outspit a llama, Hanle y.
-- Tadeusz Suchodolski (llamasfu...), September 9th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think that we could make millions in PPV revenue with hanle y and the llama spitting agaisnt each other
-- anthony (anthonyeasto...), September 9th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One thing I NEVER do is spit. Its gross. I hate when people spit in public. But I will challenge the Llama in a cum contest
-- Pennysong Hanle y (red_fyschey...), September 9th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

cause she just found out that her husband's a homo.
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), December 23rd, 2003.

What?
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 23rd, 2003 2:52 PM. (aja) (later) (link)

you are disgusting.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), December 22nd, 2003.

man who the fuck does this guy think he is? hes a pussy. he has to steal and use other peoples name just to make a song. thats bull shit
and he eats that shit. man go back to china and get some real talent over there and take ur bitches to. we dont need them we got our own.
if u really want to make a good song go to some one else cuz u aint got shit to sell. motha fucker.

-- Edgar (EmurilloATLbrave...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

jin this guy is just a hater! please dont take back chinese bitches :-(

-- sounds like chi ali (4&&&&7...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

-- Sonny A. (newaddres...), December 17th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's true. It's so much easier for hot people to ignore anyone they want. When you ask them a question but you didn't know they were on their phone, and they put give you the palm or the dreadest 'one-second' finger, it hurts TWICE as much.

.
.
.

Okay, sorry, what were you saying!?

-- DarrensCoq (darrensco...), December 17th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is that extra 'put' in there? And what the hell does 'dreadest' finger mean? No finger can be that hairy.

-- DarrensCoq (darrensco...), December 17th, 2003.

-- Sonny A. (newaddres...), December 17th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you pick a big ass clump of hair out of the drain everytime you wash you hair in the shower, you are officially not a part of youth culture anymore.

-- Nihilist Pop Star (current31...), December 17th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just shave the shit and start selling drugs! Bingo, back in there!

-- DarrensCoq (darrensco...), December 17th, 2003.

-- Tenacious Dee (deethe_downspamdown_lurke...),

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

make me
-- johnny fitz (marcusinterop18...), December 24th, 2003 10:40 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that's what your mother did and i'm sure she was sorry.
-- ken c (kenneth.ch...), December 24th, 2003 10:42 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well played
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), December 24th, 2003.

-- TEH ONE AN ONLEY DEANN GULBAREY (EMAL...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not even if you paid me.
-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), December 24th, 2003. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

227
-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesus, just take it as the compliment it is and say 'thank you', you mentalists!
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ethan once asked me what part of my body people had said they liked the most over the years and the best i could was - weakly - "my eyes".
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this says a lot, though i'm not sure what.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

probably that i should be dating a blind girl with no hands.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or a brain in a jar.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you shld obv show yr BELLY BUTTON more often then, Jess!
-- petra jane (il...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that old stomach photo just makes me want to cry now.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's like my portrait of dorian gray.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

soon it will look like a starving ethiopian child and i will look like roger ebert.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want to bang the cute girl. I think I have a regressive indie gene or something.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yeah the appeal of having sex with a "sexy" girl seems so foreign to me
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don't think that AsiaKitty2003 might be a little passé pretty soon?
Huh?

We were wondering if you'd turn back into Alex at year's end.
-- Allyzay (du...), December 24th, 2003.

Don't call every one a jackass! I'm not Alex! What is your problem?!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fine, sorry I asked.
-- Huckleberry Mann (1984ishbo...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I know what you mean. I still won't change it though.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Watch your language.
-- Allyzay (itsbecauseilov...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Allyzay (wtfeve...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't that bad.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, it was. In my day you said something like that and you got your ass kicked by the nuns, girl.
-- Allyzay (harleyquin...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't say it.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, I know. Alex did.
-- Allyzay (writeastoryfortimeabou...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No! I wrote it.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TS: Aja obsessing over Alex vs. Ally obsessing over Aja
-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), December 24th, 2003.

No, Aja, this is for serious answers. Everyone knows cats cannot be hypnotized!
-- Allyzay (morelikeentrance...), December 24th, 2003.

Maybe we should change the name of this thread from 'Favorite Anything' to "two fanpersons go on and on and on AND ON AND ON about Dave friggin Grohl" then.
-- nickalicious is sad now (nza2342...), December 11th, 2003.

thanks for your time

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh dear. Things haven't turned out quite as I planned.
-- Amity (amit...), December 25th, 2003.

Well, surely they are more fashionable now, right?
-- C-Man (cma...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

Answers
I'm too full from my dinner to have doughnuts right now.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

Bet Michelle wouldn't say that!
-- C-Man (cma...), December 24th, 2003. (later)
Well, I don't know who he is.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

This thread has been locked by an administrator. It is clearly a work of art and should be sullied no further.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

Whatever!
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

Carey is an arsehole.

-- Julio Desouza (juli...) (webmail), December 25th, 2003 1:07 PM. (jdesouza) (later) (link)

-- Stupid (nottellin...), December 27th, 2003 7:01 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whoa, a siouxsie sioux pokemon...
-- tom cleveland (guitar68...), December 27th, 2003 7:02 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"oooooooh, pi-ka-chu!"
-- Famous Athlete (klintved...), December 27th, 2003 7:14 PM. (later)

-----------------------------------

you should see what they do to babies in the baby carriage.
-- ethan

I want smoked guda.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), December 27th, 2003 1:23 PM. (aja) (later) (link)

i clicked on a thread with a ridiculous title about gerbils taking over the world.

the first thing i saw when i opened that thread was a brief post about someone wanting smoked cheese. this was an unexpected result. often it is the unexpected that makes one laugh.

"Dr. Silvia Helena Cardoso
Neuroscientist/ Brazilian"

I mean, it was HIDEOUS.
-- Matthew Perpetua (fluxequalsra...), December 27th, 2003.

-- teeny (teen...), December 27th, 2003 7:10 PM. (teeny) (later)

-actually all of Teeny's posts after this one are hilarious.

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/thread.php?msgid=3439013#4141157

i would like to answer this properly but i can't seem to
-- stevem (bluesk...), December 28th, 2003.

Songs: Ohia- Magnolia Electric Co., My Morning Jacket - It Still Moves
None of these can rival Conor's flair for the dramatic.

-- bnw (rilke...), December 28th, 2003. (later)

i think his butt should explode
-- gef (geofflikeddddsyo...), December 28th, 2003. (later)

You've only proven my point.
-- bnw (rilke...), December 28th, 2003. (later)

huh?
buttholes?
-- geoff s (geofflikeddsyo...), December 28th, 2003. (later)

great. Now Aja can't play on ILX.

yay!

once again, a creepy pervert saves the day.

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), December 29th, 2003 9:24 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later) (link)

now where was that??

-- BurmaKitty (burmakitt...), December 29th, 2003 9:18 PM.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh no you didn't!

-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), December 29th, 2003 9:19 PM.
"

-- ken c (kenneth.ch...), December 29th, 2003 7:24 PM. (ken c) (later) (link)

(it's like all of ilx was set up for that one joke)

-- Pete (pb1...) (webmail), November 7th, 2003 8:42 AM. (Pete) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(preliminary Strokes album title)
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), December 29th, 2003.

----------------------------------------------------

Nicky is probably very idealistic and revolutionary romantic, what he does forget however is that Fidel has been opressing outspoken musicians in Cuba for years. The irony is that if Nicky was a Cuban resident opposing the CUBAN regime, he would have been inprisoned.

But still, I believe he has good intentions and is a good fellow, it's just a shame he is blinded by his ideology.

-- Jim Janse (Ji...), December 29th, 2003.

http://www.generyx.de/anime.gif

what?
Q2. Who is the president of the United States?
A .

who?
Q3. What ocean seperates North America and Europe?
http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/indianocean/ocean.jpg
Q4. I give up.
A .

What?

-- ken c (kenneth.ch...), December 29th, 2003.

Actually, the whole thread is like a little slice of surrealist heaven.

In The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, Thomas Kuhn directly addresses the role of Newton's Laws in Einstein's theory. He says flatly "Einstein's theory can be accepted only with the recognition that Newton's was wrong." He argues against the contention that Newton's Laws can be seen as a correct, but limited, application of Einstein's (a contention that would be the only way to retain the notion that Einstein destroyed yet preserved Newton, though this wasn't the notion that Kuhn was specifically arguing against). Kuhn's argument runs from pp 98-103 of the second edition. I'm only giving you the tail end, where he's arguing against the idea that Newton's Laws can be derived from Einstein's theory as a special case of it. ("<<" means "way way way way less than," and I'm guessing that "(v/c)2 << 1" is a way to limit velocity to being way way way way less than the speed of light. I apologize if I'm wrong.)
Can Newtonian dynamics really be derived from relativistic dynamics? What would such a derivation look like? Imagine a set of statements, E1, E2... En, which together embody the laws of relativity theory. These statements contain variables and parameters representing spatial position, time, rest mass, etc. From them, together with the apparatus of logic and mathematics, is deducible a whole set of further statements including some that can be checked by observation. To prove the adequacy of Newtonian dynamics as a special case, we must add to the Ei's additional statements, like (v/c)2 << 1, restricting the range of the parameters and variables. This enlarged set of statements is then manipulated to yield a new set, N1, N2... Nm, which is identical in form with Newton's laws of motions, the law of gravity, and so on. Apparently Newtonian dynamics has been derived from Einsteinian, subject to a few limiting conditions.

Yet the derivation is spurious, at least to this point. Though the Ni's are a special case of the laws of relativistic mechanics, they are not Newton's Laws. Or at least they are not unless those laws are reinterpreted in a way that would have been impossible until after Einstein's work. The variables and parameters that in the Einsteinian Ei's represented spatial position, time, mass, etc., still occur in the Ni's; and they there still represent Einsteinian space, time, and mass. But the physical referents of these Einsteinian concepts are by no means identical with those of the Newtonian concepts that bear the same name. (Newtonian mass is conserved; Einsteinian is convertible with energy. Only at low relative velocities may the two be measured in the same way, and even then they must not be conceived to be the same.) Unless we change the definitions of the variables in the Ni's, the statements we have derived are not Newtonian. If we do change them, we cannot properly be said to have derived Newton's laws, at least not in any sense of "derive" now generally recognized. Our argument has, of course, explained why Newton's Laws ever seemed to work. In doing so it has justified, say, an automobile driver in acting as though he lived in a Newtonian universe. An argument of the same type is used to justify teaching earth-centered astronomy to surveyors. But the argument has still not done what it purported to do. It has not, that is, shown Newton's Laws to be a limiting case of Einstein's. For in the passage to the limit it is not only the forms of the laws that have changed. Simultaneously we have had to alter the fundamental structural elements of which the universe to which they apply is composed.

Translation: The brake-lever is no longer a brake-lever, since it now belongs to a different mechanism. And if some parts of the new mechanism still seem to come to a stop, this isn't due to what we formerly thought of as braking action.

You can always point to something remaining the same, but for the "preserves" in "destroys yet preserves" to be anything but trivial, it's got to mean more than "well, some things stayed intact." The meteorite that killed off the dinosaurs didn't destroy all the atoms that constituted the dinosaurs, but nonetheless you can't say it preserved the dinosaurs. Some ideas die: Aristotelian motion, celestial wanderers, and so forth. That other things (arithmetic, lights in the sky) survive the destruction isn't necessarily relevant.

When is a genealogy complete? The answer depends on our purposes in undertaking the genealogy. If, say, we want to know how we got from classical physics to quantum physics, we have to go back to the late 19th century. If we merely want to understand quantum physics, we can ignore most that came before 1928. (For relativity, we'd go back further. And no, I don't know what I'm talking about here, but it's the principle, not the dates or the physics, that concerns me.)

-- Frank Kogan (edcasua...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

what?
-- Ajabär (llamasfu...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

Answers
put your thing down flip it and reverse it
-- !xygag (r0xagy...), December 29th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your second regret is not seeing me in Seattle DAMMIT.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 29th, 2003 7:49 PM. (Ned) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha "regret"
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), December 29th, 2003 7:56 PM. (M Matos) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isn't there a lack of crotch room?
-- N. (nickdastoo...), October 11th, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is that a pressing concern Nick?
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), October 11th, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somehow I doubt it.
-- Nicole (nicolew1...), October 11th, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hate you all.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), October 11th, 2002.

-- Leee Marvin (redhalcyo...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

Dinosaurs Rule!!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

why?

-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"loobahihhhhh"
-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), December 29th, 2003 5:54 PM. (Curtis Stephens) (later)

Ok. Sorry. You know what I mean though. I'm not the best speller.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

that's okay, aja. i'm being a jerk. i should go easy you, being 4 and all.

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

I'M 12!!!!!!! 12 YEARS AND 10 MONTHS OLD!!!!!!!!!!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

sorry. sorry.
i forget how testy a 6 year old can get if he hasn't had his nap.

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

I'm a girl!!!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

Aja, you realize you were just a chromosome away from having the name of either "Clint" or "Gaucho".

-- donut bitch (do...), December 29th, 2003. (later)

'I Don't Care' Old Fart!!!?
You must mean 'I Feel Fine'.
Or do you know something even Mark Lewisohn has missed?

-- pete s (petesesnai...), December 29th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wot?!?!?! FX: Hides mysterious reel-to-reel tape...
Ahem!!! Er, yes, you are of course right!!!! I must have been getting mixed up with that Transmission Vamp song!!!!

-- Old Fart!!! (oldfart_s...), December 29th, 2003.

(Fame is but a fleeting moment. By the year 3000, no-one will ask who the beatles were cause no-one will know...)

"Anne! You're a cow!"
-- Lynskey (pau...), December 30th, 2003.

marvellous

Even out of context this is fucking hilarious, works best if you imagine it said by Optimus prime

The thread was about

YOU

in case you didn't notice :)

It was not about me and how sexy I am or my ego.

-- BurmaKitty (burmakitt...), December 30th, 2003. (later)

Answers

In case you missed it..

The thread was your lesson in how "you view yourself".

Your responses and judgments about me are NOT about me, but show the world who you are.

And all of this was started by a little skin! Really, think about how easily you fall into what you are told by your society and the environment you grew
up in, without even questioning it.

Think for yourselves and you will probably like yourself more and have an easier time of things.

In specific, since this one really got some of you going, the photo with the t-shirt was an over simplified comment on how women are viewed as having
their first thought of the day being a requirement to "not look fat"...(did you notice the title of the photo or were you too busy trying to find my ass)? The
use of the t-shirt was merely incidental to the fact that I like the band and the fact that there is an image of "flipping the bird". It was too irresistible not to
use.

And yes, in general, I am very annoying...long before the thread exisited...This is what makes me so charming to so many. I have a mind, sense of self
and my sexuality, and a sense of humor. These are qualities discouraged, apparently.

As far as my daughter reading ILX...well, I think you are giving yourselves just a little too much credit on the effect of your specific words here. ILX is
an easily accessible microcosm of a small segment of society. There is no shame in letting Aja see that. Are you ashamed of what you say here? Am I
wrong?

Don't think it goes unnoticed that many of you are not afraid to anonymously post gratuitous photos of sexually provocative females all while laughing
and infringing on copyright laws. I can hear your little giggles now.

Look, I don't hate you or belittle you for that. I actually understand why you feel the need to do it and I am compassionate about it even if I don't agree.

[insert big warm fuzzy virtual hug here]

Look, when you have spent some time taking photos of women who have had their faces pulverized by a man...and then go back a week later to take
the same photo of *new* injuries...then you'll know why I'm such a hardheaded feminist.

One who is not afraid to show a little of her own skin to make a point.

Now, get back to posting photos of yourselves and telling yourselves how great you are, and I'll try to think of something else to irritate you and get you
going again :)

much love,
xoxo
bk

-- BurmaKitty (burmakitt...), December 30th, 2003. (later)

This situation will be rectified within the hour.

-- Tim (hopkinsti...), December 30th, 2003. (tracklink) (later)

we lead uncannily similar lives today tim tim

-- stevem (bluesk...), December 30th, 2003. (later)

not unless you've sorted your hair out, we don't.

-- Tim (hopkinsti...), December 30th, 2003. (later)

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http://www.beautycafe.com/images/geir.gif
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), December 30th, 2003.

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), December 30th, 2003.

-- TOMBOT (anykniveswilldoatthispoin...), December 30th, 2003. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thats because you keep noticing the gap where the happy mondays records should be
-- gareth (garet...), March 11th, 2003.

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seriously though, nice ass!
-- mark p (mark.p****...), December 30th, 2003.

hie thee hence, ms. kearney, and PHEEEAR THE KILLER ENGLISH NEW WAVE MULLET!!

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), December 30th, 2003.

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-- Sean (saturns...), December 30th, 2003. (Sean) (later)

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

That's us, you see. Once proud in serried ranks of unity.

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

That's when the moderators are all stripped of their privileges and anything goes.

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

That's the 'what the fuck???' threads.

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

That's Aja being told to shut up.

The best lack all conviction,

That's those threads where nobody can be bothered to say much

while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

That's C-Man. And me, of course.

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

These lines are a bit obscure, but don't bode well.

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Has to refer to Ned.

-- Momus (nic...) (webmail), December 31st, 2003. (Momus)

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the godzilla/kong battles never really go anywhere
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), December 11th, 2003.

Answers
I'm too full from my dinner to have doughnuts right now.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

Bet Michelle wouldn't say that!
-- C-Man (cma...), December 24th, 2003. (later)
Well, I don't know who he is.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

This thread has been locked by an administrator. It is clearly a work of art and should be sullied no further.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

Whatever!
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 24th, 2003. (later)

-- Julio Desouza (juli...), December 25th, 2003.

Godzilla vs. Mothra?

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do you like GLADIATOR MOVIES?
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), December 29th, 2003.

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Not really.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 29th, 2003.

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Sean, please lock this thread.
-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), December 29th, 2003.

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then burn it.
-- dyson (dyspleasur...), December 29th, 2003.

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How would you burn it?
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), December 30th, 2003.

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Can I Get A Witness?
-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), December 30th, 2003.

"just being honest"

-- andre3000 (mark.grou...) (webmail),

Answers
F. N. Venette. (Her first name is Fremme, middle name is Neppa.)
-- JS Williams (jsw071...), February 4th, 2003.

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U sure?

-- rolci (rolc...), February 4th, 2003.

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No, it's not at all, U bahstard! It' a nonsense. go C yerself @ http://southsidecallbox.com/2002_singles_jody.html! So, what's the girlz name?
-- rolci (rolc...), February 4th, 2003.

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This thread makes me very very happy.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 4th, 2003.

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NO! SLEEP!
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), December 31st, 2003.

-- Andrew Thames (cleanbridge...) (webmail), January 1st, 2004. (Andrew Thames)

this made me laugh until i had a coughing fit!

-- Eric H. (ephende...), January 2nd, 2004.

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nice going assholes!
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), January 2nd, 2004.

Must . . . resist . . . anti-audiophile . . . bile . . .

NO. FUCK IT.

For the record a piece of music has fuck all to do with "how the artist intended it be". If you want it to be how it was intended then get a pair of studio monitors. Simple as that. In the real world we use these things because they have a very flat, unfriendly eq to them. Megawank speakers with "creamy bass" and "punchy middle" does as much to bastardise a piece of music eq-wise as a short-wave radio. WHAT IN SHITTING HITLER'S NAME DO YOU THINK ACTUAL GOES ON IN STUDIOS? Through the audiophiles' eyes they must be Oz-esque towers of audio beauty, perfect in every way, not boxy little rooms where you have to jam a screwdriver in the desk at an angle *just so* to get the bastard to work. YOU ARE LOST IN A SEA OF LIES! Do you people think the average recording is some perfect representation of the artists vision? Misguided! Time constraints, how hungover the drummer is and whether the vocalist has dropped the decent vocal mic in the bog whilst freebasing have far more to do with what a piece of audio comes out like than anything else. Remember, once it's out of the artists head its already compromised. There is not a single recording in the world which is "how the artist intended". LIES, DAMN LIES! Misguided souls who project some sort of Godhead onto these people! Do you think if Pet Sounds was recorded today Wilson'd still do it 2 tracks music, 2 vocals on a tape machine? BOLLOCKS! BIG FRANKENSTEIN BOLLOCKS! He'd be locked up in a wood-panelled megastudio with fifty billion mics, hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of processing and Nigel Godrich at the desk sucking the living shit out of anything that made it interesting. Wake up! Prisoner, come out! You have nothing to fear but fear itself!

It's all about the listener. Familiarity with a set up is what you're after, really. If it does it for you it does it for you, I mean are you listening to Shellac to hear those perfectly captured cymbals? NO! You're listening to Controversial Steve wailing his bastard heart out about the evils of the world! FOR SHAME, MR. AUDIOPHILE! FOR SHAME! You are not only swallowing a lie, you are spitting it out so that it may catch root and grow in a world already fit to bursting with mistruths! Philistine! VIRUS!

-- Lynskey (paul...) (webmail), December 30th, 2003 12:23 PM.

Has Carsmile changed his name for 2004?

what he reminds me of most is this guy I used to know--friend of friends--in Minneapolis who basically did nothing at all but wore a ratty sweater all the time, talked in an affected monotone, listened to Flying Saucer Attack with a glazed look on his face, and smoked. his sentences were stilted and made little literal sense. essentially, he was a guy who'd figured out a shtick--if you pose hard enough, people will think you're an artist. invent enough backstory to go with some meandering crap you've thrown down (on canvas, on tape), and people will believe your work has deep resonance.
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), June 5th, 2003.

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and then you moved to a city with 8 million people just like that
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), June 5th, 2003.

-- Dale the Titled (cpre...), January 2nd, 2004 10:07 AM. (cprek) (later)

-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), January 2nd, 2004 8:37 AM. (dubplatestyle)

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I do THAT too but I can pour it out outside, I live on a semifarm, and also the toilet's upstairs and I'm halfway through a record etc
-- Andrew Thames (cleanbridge...), January 2nd, 2004 8:40 AM. (Andrew Thames)

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i feel loads better having that "peeing in empty cup" thing off my chest.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), January 2nd, 2004 8:44 AM. (dubplatestyle)

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Are you not terrified that you'd overfill the cup and end up with piss ont he floor? I would be. The bathroom's only four eight feet from the bedroom (and three from the living room) so this is not a concern.
-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), January 2nd, 2004 9:14 AM. (Nick Southall)

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well you have to exhibit control over the pressure and release.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), January 2nd, 2004 9:25 AM. (dubplatestyle)

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alternately get a big gulp cup.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), January 2nd, 2004 9:26 AM. (dubplatestyle)

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my urethra muscles are like wo.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), January 2nd, 2004 9:26 AM. (dubplatestyle)

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yeah, we were all like "HAR HAR HAR" and then some guys spilled their poutine on their pants
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), January 2nd, 2004 4:56 PM. (slutsky) (later)

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oh no, open war is upon us
-- stevem (bluesk...), January 2nd, 2004 4:56 PM. (blueski) (later)

Incredibly complex and profound. It was so deep and meaningful I can't even begin to explain the subtlety and complexity of its brilliant profoundness. A deep, complex, masterwork full of meaningfulness. Profound, as well.

-- tarden (scrape10...), July 13th, 2001.

Are we just supposed to be able to, like, magically automatically recognize who these people are?
-- Mr. Snrub (mistersnrub...), January 2nd, 2004 2:19 PM. (later)

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Those are the Ramones (if the big banner behind them failed to tip you off).
-- Alex in NYC (vassifer...), January 2nd, 2004 2:20 PM. (later)

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Yeah, what are those R, A, M, O, N, E, and S letters? Some kind of code?
-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxviii...), January 2nd, 2004 2:21 PM. (later)

-- Bryan (twp62y...), January 1st, 2004.

yeah.

-- The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylure...), January 1st, 2004.
I should try to go to more parties then I guess.

-- Bryan (twp62y...), January 1st, 2004.

BLOCK PARTIES!!!!!!!!!!

-- The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylure...), January 1st, 2004.

Most of the people who live around me are dinks. The shitheads who live under me are still going hard at 4:42 am. I should go down, eh?

-- Bryan (twp62y...), January 1st, 2004.

-- Chris Piuma (chri...) (webmail), January 31st, 2003. (Chris Piuma)

Geez we were friendly a year ago.

-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...) (webmail), January 3rd, 2004. (Mr Noodles)

this induced early morning monitor spewing! a gem!

-- Matt DC (runmd...), January 3rd, 2004.

he looks familiar. hmmm.

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), January 3rd, 2004.

he looks sexy. is may pang a man? or is she the legs?

-- jed (c_o_har...), January 3rd, 2004.

The mystery lives on!

-- may pang (pange...), January 3rd, 2004.

...lets hook up may pang ;)

-- jed (c_o_har...), January 3rd, 2004.

...to a diagnostic console to figure out the answer?

-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), January 3rd, 2004.

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"I dangled mine in front of a croc; beat that!"
"I dangled mine in front of my fans."

"Shit. You win."

-- Nick Southall (auspiciousfis...), January 3rd, 2004 10:40 AM. (Nick Southall)

-- Viva La Sam (dallasdeadgir...), January 4th, 2004 6:52 AM. (later)

Yes

-- Elvis Telecom

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), January 4th, 2004.

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It's actually a diamond-encrusted middle finger guard, so she can flip off idiots with style.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), January 4th, 2004 9:17 AM. (Ned) (later) (link)

-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), January 4th, 2004 12:10 PM. (SeanC) (later)

(from the dept of it's not shcoking or taboo anymore so get over it) NO MORE TOILETS!
-- Kim (grimstitc...), January 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Instead, urinal cakes. NOTHING BUT URINAL CAKES IN EVERY VIDEO EVER.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), January 4th, 2004 4:20 PM. (llamasfur) (later)

-- pumkin (PumkinPowa09...), January 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- stevem (bluesk...), January 4th, 2004 1:54 PM. (blueski) (later) (link)

... the longer you've probably dicked around online

-- mark p (mark.p****...), January 4th, 2004 3:08 PM. (Mark P) (later) (link)

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), March 12th, 2003 5:49 PM. (dubplatestyle) (link)

-- Squirrel_Police (goblinatri...), January 5th, 2004.

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...that set the whole world crying...
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 5th, 2004.

posted January 04, 2004 07:34 PM
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how could you not fuck a girl with a third nipple?

ya like two, why not 3?

3 is a crowd or some shit?

3 is a crowd like 4 hot bitches naked in your bed is a crowd.

itd be like that wackamole shit at the fair, ya gotta get all the nipples aroused without letting one fall, play games with a third nipple, why the fuck not.
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Posts: 973 | From: Trenton, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), January 5th, 2004.

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yes
jess
-- Orbit (YrJustPisse...), January 4th, 2004.

yes, and then disappear!
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), January 5th, 2004.

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out...side?
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), January 2nd, 2004.

-- joday (jod...) (webmail), January 5th, 2004. (Jody Beth Rosen)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What, short and bitter?

I wonder if I can be arsed doing a sarky remark for the rest of them.

Nope. Joday is Special.

-- Sarah (starr...) (webmail), January 5th, 2004. (starry)

a Disneyland comedy
boxing an incense bucket into indecent scissors pillow smack
deliver the mirror ballet from blood betrayal
the hirsute philosopher's calculator incantation
babbles sabres of sevenths
in ugly gothic exclamations
machines unbelievingly charlatan

-- nickalicious (nza2342...) (webmail), January 5th, 2004. (later)

-- Dom Passantino (....com), January 5th, 2004 1:04 AM. (Dom Passantino) (later)

-- @d@ml (nordi HREF="mailto:dicskilla@hotmail.com">dicskilla@hotmail.com) (webmail), January 5th, 2004. (later)

In America is pretty bad, it should have been called The Legend of Basquiat Vance.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...) (webmail), January 5th, 2004. (later)

As was Hesh telling Harvey Birdman's boss that he wanted to rip off his eyepatch and spit into his retarded eye.