Above, the spectral glaciers shone, and from his lips escaped a groan, "EXCELSIOR"!

TWICE!

TWICE!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2005 7:36 PM. (aja) (later) (link)

Twice (once was quoted)

Quit that!

-- Momus (nic...), July 22nd, 2005.

dont you dare, momus, my shetland ponies live there!!

-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...), July 22nd, 2005.

Not sexy, please try again.

Well, I've cooled down now, my scent's more appealing, and my shirt's off.

-- Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (eastern_mantr...), July 23rd, 2005 5:17 PM. (later)

Yeah baby, take it OFF.

-- luna (lunace...), July 23rd, 2005 5:18 PM. (later)

. . .

Sorry about that -- I'm back from washing dishes. What should I remove next, luna?

-- Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (eastern_mantr...), July 23rd, 2005 5:57 PM. (later)

Take out your false teeth Ian!

-- Truckdrivin' Buddha (crump...), July 23rd, 2005 6:02 PM. (later)

[snip]

Magnum
It's Mangum, but I agree.

-- PB (...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2005 9:38 AM. (later) (link)

"When you were young, you were the king of carrot flowers..."
ihttp://www.magnum-pi.de/gallery/images/Tom_JungleBird.jpg
-- joseph cotten (...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2005 9:42 AM. (later) (link)

-- Sterling Clover (s.clove...), July 23rd, 2005. (s_clover) (later)

You are not just on crack, you are made of crack.

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), July 8th, 2005.

so, erm, is the "demand" still "growing"?

-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 24th, 2005 7:57 PM. (ken c) (later)

Yes, tomorrow they're going to give us What's New Pussycat?

-- Alba (albab...), July 24th, 2005 8:02 PM. (Alba) (later)

Please tell me her surname begins with M too.
`

-- Forest Pines (forestpine...), July 23rd, 2005.

McDoppelganger

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), July 23rd, 2005.

Mary Molly Malone?

-- Amateur(ist) (amateuris...), July 23rd, 2005.

Mary Margaret Molly Malone?

-- Amateur(ist) (amateuris...), July 23rd, 2005.

-- CHELSEA'S CRAZY YALL (whowillshedemandbebannednext...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 11:21 PM. (papa la bas) (later)

WTF, there was a Gabba the Hut?
Was he a freaky raver with a glowstick and whistle?

-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 11:30 PM. (Forksclovetofu) (later)

he was the fastest and hardest hutt

-- latebloomer: You may order a puppet similar to this one (posercore24...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 11:37 PM. (latebloomer) (later)

(And before anyone says "well dont read it then" - KEEP IT OFF THREADS LIKE THIS YA WUZZKNOCKERS)

But thats cool, if you're having fun, play on!

-- shine headlights on me (electricsoun...), July 25th, 2005 1:10 PM. (electricsound) (later)

Mmm corned beef. With white sauce. and carrots and onions.

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), July 25th, 2005 1:11 PM. (trayce) (later)

corny indie beefx0r

-- haitch (big.jesus.trash.ca...), July 25th, 2005 1:12 PM. (haitch) (later)

The joke as posted on the page is not about you, and it is funny. I have been gone for about a year and started posting again recently, but that does not make the joke any less funny.

-- Tim Finney (tfinne...), July 25th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That your next album will be called Tim 2.
-- donut ferry (do...), July 25th, 2005. (later)

-- Trayce, July 25th, 2005 3:30 PM.

-- Josh in Chicago (Vitesse9...), July 25th, 2005 3:36 PM. (later)

Answers
why not just play coldplay to his head?
-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 25th, 2005 3:40 PM. (later)

-- Leon C. (nicole.kessle...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I dunno. Recently I've been thinking "This place is a snotty argumentative hellhole. We really should see about getting more Libertarians in."

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005. (link)

That the solution to world terrorism is for everybody to snoop in each others' luggage during 10 minute subway rides.

-- TOMBOT (im.a.fuckin...) (webmail), July 25th, 2005 2:25 PM. (later) (link)

Since Shakey was OTM again, I thought I'd share this personal anecdote (that can later be laughed at on multiple boards)...

I used to spend a lot of time at this Jazz coffeehouse in Jax FL circa 1993, and I befriended all the rock dudes who were in the Jazz program at UNF.

Eventually, we'd vaguely talk about forming a band over pre-bedtime breakfasts. They all wanted to do what they called "heavy groove". I had no idea what specifically that was, but they cited Rage Agianst..., of course. They all knew I had a little rap career a few years prior - after a while they'd look to me and say "you know, it'd be cool if you rap on it." I'd laugh it off and say "no one wants to hear rapping on Rock music...oh, wait, Rage. Nevermind."

I always thought they were being half assed and somewhat joking. I never flat out said no, but it was pretty clear I wan't into the idea.

Eventually, the coffehouse closed down and I went my way, never taking the idea of their band serious. I bumped into one of the guys about a year later and he said "hey, we actually decided to have someone rap over our band since you weren't so into it. He's a tattoo guy named Fred."

Ladies and gentlemen, Limp Bizkit.

-- PappaWheelie (pappawheeli...), July 25th, 2005.

1) Please post the original headlines for Roffle purposes
2) Now, we have a 'what's the difference between the Daily Mail and the Express' monitor.

1) Marcello doesn't have to like it, right?
2) People dont have to bear culpability for the actions of one individual, right? That really is how Nazi germany started.

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), July 26th, 2005. (mark grout) (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, that's hoiw Nazi German started. It wasn't clear from Cabaret. I jsut thought everyone got mighty sick of Liza Minelli.

-- Pete (pb1...), July 26th, 2005. (Pete) (later)

Hari standing at checkout sees girl

Hari

That girl is cute.

Hari

Oh she dropped the socks, time for a joke. Oh yes.

Hari

Oh no, she has one hand. Maybe she isn't hot

Hari

Oh so now she has one hand she's not hot?

Hari

She is still cute.

Then it kind of degenerated into thinking about handjobs.

-- Hari A$hur$t (lindseyloha...), July 26th, 2005 10:38 PM. (Toaster) (later)

-- sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (gangstas@prankstas.org), July 26th, 2005. (katharine) (later)

-- nabisco (--...), July 26th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

also, they can't count. X and U aren't even numbers.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), July 26th, 2005. (Huk-L) (link)

Arrested Development will undergo a critical reevaluation then too.

God help us.

-- lyra (lyra6...), July 26th, 2005.

God help us.

Because we will be very very old and very very irrelevant.

Happy New Years!

-- PappaWheelie (pappawheeli...), July 26th, 2005

...

The latter, then the former.
-- nickn (nickn62...) (webmail), July 26th, 2005 2:35 PM. (nickn) (later)

oh the ones in the b4kers delight near me are total cranks. every time i go in there after work the girl looks pissed off that i exist.

-- shine headlights on me (electricsoun...), July 27th, 2005 10:30 AM. (electricsound) (later)

she's probably on the Atkins diet

-- rainy (rain...), July 27th, 2005 10:30 AM. (rainy) (later)

yep that's what they're like in the one near me too. and the one on the way to uni. it takes the shine off my cheese and vegemite scroll.

-- gem (gemilyinterrupte...), July 27th, 2005 10:31 AM. (trisk) (later)

i had that last night. the little cheesy hot dogs looked like they'd been there a bit long

-- shine headlights on me (electricsoun...), July 27th, 2005 10:31 AM. (electricsound) (later)

that's not a nice thing to call cranky teenage girls

-- rainy (rain...), July 27th, 2005 10:32 AM. (rainy) (later)

-- kyle (akmonda...), July 26th, 2005. (akmonday) (later)

An old guy did a "commentary" about he still drives an "old car" and about how no one can convince him to buy a "new car."
What an eccentric!

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...), July 27th, 2005. (Hurting) (later)

Or how about the woman who learned important life lessons from the Masai people who stayed in her house.

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...), July 27th, 2005. (Hurting) (later)

You would know music if it skull raped you!!!

-- Seth (SongthatJaneLike...), July 26th, 2005 9:18 AM. (later)

I can feel them coming -- indie heirs tonight.

shouldn't goldfrapp be having a word with basement jaxx about the strict machine similarities on their new single?
-- frenchbloke (frenchblok...), June 15th, 2005.

Basement Jaxx piss all over KoldKrapp like James Nesbitt on a filling station inlet in Irlam.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), June 15th, 2005.

'Strict Machine' can't claim ownership of anything though. I think it's 'a tip-top faberoony spiffing groovy sonic monolith by a fit hott cyberbitch on heat', to quote marcelloisagoon.blogspot.com.
-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...), June 15th, 2005.

that sounds a terrible blog, almost as bad as mannionisathatcheritecunt.blogspot.cum.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), June 15th, 2005.

(apart from changing her station or the relationship of her ideas to it) what do you think Alison Goldfrapp would have to do to start salvaging herself in your opinion Marcello?
Genuine question.

-- Tim Finney (tfinne...), June 15th, 2005.

Genuine answer: get a proper job.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), June 15th, 2005.

cap'n, it's the pretentiometer, she cannae take it...
-- frenchbloke (frenchblok...), June 15th, 2005.

People who use "pretentious" as a pejorative should be purged.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), June 15th, 2005.

people who intentionally abuse the english language by waffling endlessly using words i have to look-up in a dictionary should be punished.
-- frenchbloke (frenchblok...), June 15th, 2005.

"Allow me, sir, to offer you my most heartfelt contrafibularities."
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 15th, 2005.

there's a lot of pent up sexual anxiety on this thread.
-- strng hlkngtn (hm...), June 15th, 2005.

Hey, I wasn't trying to make a pass at you. But if you want to take it that way...
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 15th, 2005.

that was actually an unfortunate couple of xposts, but you know we were never meant to be, ned
-- strng hlkngtn (differen...), June 15th, 2005.

Strongo's Dream Deferred.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 15th, 2005.

tell me to get a real job and then whip me harder
-- strng hlkngtn (hm...), June 15th, 2005.

Does the one result from the other?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 15th, 2005.

piss all over me like James Nesbitt on a filling station inlet in Irlam
-- strng hlkngtn (hm...), June 15th, 2005.

big and cold

brrrrr

-- battlingspacemonkey (sugarjunkie5...), July 27th, 2005.

that seems pretty small

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), July 27th, 2005.

thats about 8 inches......

-- battlingspacemonkey (sugarjunkie5...), July 27th, 2005.

like I said, small

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), July 27th, 2005.

still

cold

-- battlingspacemonkey (sugarjunkie5...), July 27th, 2005.

-- DMB Googleplex (happybirthda...), July 27th, 2005.

They only have 2?

-- Tumililingan (bzzz...), July 27th, 2005.

Back when they were on Domino, it's all they had a budget for.

-- DMB Googleplex (happybirthda...), July 27th, 2005.

...

-- TOMBOT (bollock...), July 27th, 2005 3:26 PM. (later)

'flange'!

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), July 27th, 2005 7:16 PM. (spencermfi) (later) (link)

-- caitlin oh no (caitx...), July 14th, 2005 5:22 PM. (link)

depends on whether it's a little junk or like fred sanford's junkyard.

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), July 14th, 2005 5:27 PM. (link)

Answers
Take her gag off.

-- Forest Pines

I think the question on all our lips is:
Did they get a groupsave and get 4 tickets for the price of 2?

-- Ed (dal...), July 28th, 2005 12:16 PM. (dali) (later)

Drive to the strip mall in a japanese car, the smell of rubber on concrete tar, hindsight's too much of a bore, eating bagels near the front of the door, my iPod played pop tones

-- donut ferry (do...), July 28th, 2005 1:20 AM.

-- Michael Jones (tourajsig...), July 28th, 2005 2:51 PM.

i don't even know you yet i am very excite d!

-- mookieproof (mookieproo...) (webmail), July 27th, 2005 9:14 PM. (mookieproof) (later) (link)

excitement is contagious! I am pleased that no early 80's met's sluggers will be able to dominate you!

-- Mike Hanle y 3000 (pennysong300...) (webmail), July 27th, 2005 9:17 PM. (hanle y 3000) (later) (link)

-- gear (speed.to.roa...) (webmail), July 28th, 2005. (link)

Why is alfredo sauce so funny? You wouldn't think it would be, but that's the genius.

Well that was a lot of nonsense over some potatoes wasn't it?
-- Hari A$hur$t (lindseyloha...), July 28th, 2005 1:13 PM. (link)

sounds like Solondz's "Storytelling"...
-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...), July 29th, 2005. (later)

it was pretty hilarious, actually. This same girl filmed her brother and his girlfriend having sex for an "art film".
-- gear (speed.to.roa...), July 29th, 2005. (later)

-- Deric W. Haircare (troninmorocc...), July 28th, 2005.

Jennifer Lopez.

-- Allyzay knows a little German (allyza...), July 28th, 2005.

Tara Reid

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), July 28th, 2005.

Calista Flockhart

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), July 29th, 2005.

John Rhys-Davies

-- Eric H. (ephende...), July 29th, 2005.

Is this some sort've poetry slam? I don't know what you're talking about.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), July 29th, 2005.

Are "boot cut" jeans even any different from other jeans? They just seem like normal straight legged jeans to me. Maybe they're
not as baggy as most mens jeans but it's not like boots wouldn't fit under baggy jeans. Maybe it's a term lingering around from the
'80s when most jeans had skinny little tapered ankles.

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), July 28th, 2005. (walterkranz) (later)

Yeah and some of em have red bandannas hanging out there back pockets, that means they want to fuck you in the ass so watch out
for those

-- 24325436547 (86856...), July 28th, 2005. (later)

But only on the left side.

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), July 28th, 2005. (walterkranz) (later)

Are you some kind of fagit to know that

-- 232353453 (46436...), July 28th, 2005. (later)

anyway i love backwards troll logic every now and then, especially when you figure it's gotta be intentional.

-- Jarlr'mai (jimmy.parke...), July 29th, 2005 6:51 PM. (jarlrmai) (later)

but still

-- Ste (ste.foste...), July 29th, 2005 7:02 PM. (Fuzzy) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one time i woke up hungover to find chicken bones all over my floor, from what i assume was a drunken 4am food run. that was really the closest i ever got to breakfast in bed. michael and i lead very different lives.
-- mark p (mark.p****...), July 28th, 2005 11:58 AM. (Mark P) (later)

Tuesday, noon, eastbound Fullerton bus. I sat pristinely in my pressed shirt and tie en route to job interview. You in your skintight black jeans and white t-shirt proclaiming an entertaining variety of pro-Puerto Rican slogans. Our eyes met and the gaze we shared transcended any cultural boundaries society would wish to impose upon our burdgeoning romance. I could tell by the jaundice in your skin that my piercing blue eyes and shocking pallor were twisting your insides in such a profound fit of ecstasy. Even so, I was taken aback when you suddenly rose to make a swift exit, unable to contain your glee, and bestowed SOMEONE ELSE with the contents of your stomach brought on by the rapture of our unspoken amor. The cruel pace of our unrelenting bus driver prevented me from following you out to the curb and left me to ponder why I was not the one to receive the angelic outpouring.

I stopped by the Home Depot on my way home and purchased a bucket. If you feel the same way, let me know and I'll also bring over some ginger ale.

-- kelsey (kelstarr...) (webmail), July 29th, 2005 10:15 AM. (kelstarry) (link)

-- Sterling Clover (s.clove...) (webmail), July 29th, 2005 1:22 AM. (s_clover) (later) (link)

the song remains the same!

-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), July 29th, 2005 1:29 AM. (papa la bas) (later) (link)

-- DV (dirtyvica...) (webmail), July 29th, 2005. (link)

Word on the street is that we can expect a rebuttal diss track from his mom.

-- Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr_...), July 29th, 2005 7:07 PM. (dr g)

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), July 29th, 2005 2:13 PM. (nabisco) (link)

Did you learn nothing from Batman Begins?

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), July 30th, 2005 10:14 AM. (Alba) (later) (link)

-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), July 29th, 2005 9:02 PM. (link)

Those are some ROCKIN' titles. This is gonna freegin' ROCK!!

-- Jay Vee (ziut...), July 30th, 2005 9:08 AM. (link)

Thread Title: Terrorism in london

how did this take place?

-- uma.s

Answers

Well when a man and a bomb love each other very much...

-- Chicks with Dicks / Kate

The right side of your brain is said to control your visual, spatial and intuitive processes.

I call bullshit. This has nothing to do with left/right brain dominance. It's actually a completely independent trait--left thumb on top = dominant allele, right thumb on top = recessive allele.

-- the most mysterious regular ilxor (curtis.stephen...), July 31st, 2005.

I love it when people say "I call bullshit!"

-- Alba (albab...), July 31st, 2005.

phone: *ring ring*
Bullshit: *picks up* "Yyyyyyello?"
Curtis: "Sup"
Bullshit: "Hey man not much"
Curtis: "Cool"

-- the most mysterious regular ilxor (curtis.stephen...), July 31st, 2005.

-- gygax! (gygax0...), May 27th, 2005 1:56 PM. (link)

That's possibly true. I still think "Y Control" is a better single from Fever to Tell.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), May 27th, 2005 2:02 PM. (link)

ok im playing this maps record, its very...non-descript? i dont get it

-- charltonlido (...), May 27th, 2005 2:08 PM. (link)

EXACTLY

-- Cool Hand Luuke (showroo...), May 27th, 2005 2:37 PM. (link)

i think it is called indie

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 28th, 2005 7:29 AM. (link)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 1st, 2005 9:30 AM. (ken c) (tracklink) (later)

why? is it annoying?

-- teeny (teen...), August 1st, 2005 10:03 AM. (teeny) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FUCK wrong thread
-- Jarlr'mai (jimmy.parke...), August 1st, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ahh well no-one ever reads this thread anyway.
-- Jarlr'mai (jimmy.parke...), August 1st, 2005.

-- mark p (mark.p****...) (webmail), July 31st, 2005. (link)

-- Remy (rem...), August 1st, 2005 9:25 AM. (x Jeremy) (later)

Oh go on, thats only a medium black knob at best!

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), August 2nd, 2005 10:00 AM. (trayce) (later)

[cubboard-knobs-h-3084.jpg]

Apparently, Trayce, they have inflated standards down your neck of the woods.

-- Remy (rem...), August 2nd, 2005 10:06 AM. (x Jeremy) (later)

Nah I'm just dissing your knob ;P

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), August 2nd, 2005 10:08 AM. (trayce) (later)

Results 1 - 10 of about 927,000 for sad penis. (0.26 seconds)

-- Remy (rem...), August 2nd, 2005 10:10 AM. (x Jeremy) (later)

-- PB (non...), August 1st, 2005.

You know, those little eruptions that come up on your tongue every so often and hurt like the devil? I always joked that they're exploded taste buds, but what are they really?

-- Truckdrivin' Buddha (crump...), August 2nd, 2005 12:29 PM. (Rock Hardy) (later)

Answers

v.d.

-- ghetty green (...), August 2nd, 2005 12:57 PM. (eman) (later)

Whatever. I'm sure he'll find a way to fuck up yet another otherwise easily debated, even sympathetic issue.

-- Josh in Chicago (Vitesse9...), August 1st, 2005.

If debating people about gun control and 9/11 is easy for you I would suggest a career as Socrates.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), August 1st, 2005.

*finger to other's lips*
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)

-- andrew m. (westernis...) (webmail), August 1st, 2005 12:22 PM.

if someone cracks out the slash i'm out of here

Why does that sound so very very wrong. Crack... slash... argh.

-- Trayce (trayc...), November 28th, 2003 12:32 PM. (trayce)

EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

-- s1utsky (parrisactava...), November 28th, 2003 12:34 PM. (slutsky)

crackin' out the slash is better than slashin' up the crack i guess

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), November 28th, 2003 1:30 PM. (electricsound)

that really didn't need to be said, did it?

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), November 28th, 2003 1:30 PM. (electricsound)

no

-- s1utsky (parrisactava...), November 28th, 2003 1:31 PM. (slutsky)

: )

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), August 2nd, 2005 10:50 PM.

-- Dadaismus (dadaismu...), August 2nd, 2005 9:31 PM. (Dada) (later)

isn't that ponce for 'god'?

-- N_RQ (bl0cke...), August 2nd, 2005 9:32 PM. (later)

-- Molly (moll...) (webmail), August 2nd, 2005 8:45 AM. (later) (link)

-- PappaWheelie (pappawheeli...), August 3rd, 2005. (later)

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), August 3rd, 2005 4:36 PM.

-- Big Loud Mountain Ape (bigheadyet...), August 4th, 2005.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 4th, 2005 3:24 PM. (Ned) (later)

Best BB thread ever.

Wayne had one line in that movie, at the end, when he delivered the words, "Truly this was the Son of God." Director George Stevens, who reminded him that he was talking about Jesus and said, "You've got to deliver the line with a little more awe." So on the next take, John Wayne said, "Aw, truly this was the Son of God."

[...]

-- Onimo (gerry.wat...) (webmail), August 4th, 2005. (link)

-- stelf)xxx (p@fttt.com), August 4th, 2005 9:31 AM. (later)

"What's the drizzle, ma nizzle?"
"Actually, it's balsamic vinaigrette, thanks for asking."

-- n/a (nu...), August 4th, 2005 9:32 AM. (later)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/dysign/ilx/thisaway.jpg

If he were less the trained theatre guy who emotes and mugs ad libitum, he'd be better for the job, but still inappropriate for INXS. It's nice that they humor him, along with about half of the others. Shows the pure milk of human kindness is still around in unexpected places.

-- George Smith (george_the_animal_steele...), August 4th, 2005. (later)

You know George, Television Without Pity is always on the lookout for incisive wit like yours.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), August 4th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They subject you to long and intensive questioning whoever you are.
-- beanz (beanzil...), August 5th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ROCK! I love talking about myself.
-- DV (dirtyvica...), August 5th, 2005. (later)

JAKE
Christian Reformed. It's a Dutch
Calvinist denomination.
NIKI
Do they believe in reincarnation? I
believe in reincarnation.

JAKE
They believe in the 'TULIP.'

NIKI
What the crap?

JAKE
(smiles)
It's an anagram. It comes from the
Canons of Dort. Every letter stands
for a different belief. T-U-L-I-P.
Like -- are you sure you're interested
in this?

NIKI
Yeah, yeah, go on.

JAKE
T stands for Total depravity, that
is, all men, through original sin,
are totally evil and incapable of
good. 'All my works are like filthy
rags in the sight of the Lord.'

NIKI
Shit.

Jake is charmed. He's never been called upon to explain his
beliefs to someone so totally ignorant of them.

JAKE
Be that as it may. U is for
Unconditional Election. God has chosen
a certain number of people to be
saved, The Elect, and He has chosen
them from the beginning of time. L
is for Limited Atonement. Only a
limited number will be atoned, will
go to Heaven.

NIKI
Fuck.

JAKE
I can stop if you want.

NIKI
No, please go on.

The INTERCOM ANNOUNCES a flight: Jake listens for a moment.
It's a flight to Mexico City.

JAKE
I is for Irresistible Grace. God's
grace cannot be resisted or denied.
And P is for the Perseverance of the
Saints. Once you are in Grace you
cannot fall from the number of the
elect. And that's the 'TULIP.'

NIKI
Wait, wait. I'm trying to figure
this out. This is like Rona Barrett.
Before you become saved, God already
knows who you are?

JAKE
He has to. That's Predestination. If
God is omniscient, if He knows
everything -- and He wouldn't be God
if He didn't -- then He must have
known, even before the creation of
the world, the names of those who
would be saved.

NIKI
So it's already worked out. The fix
is in?

JAKE
More or less.

NIKI
Wow. Then why be good? Either you're
saved or you ain't.

JAKE
Out of gratitude for being chosen.
That's where Grace comes in. God
first chooses you, then allows you,
by Grace, to choose Him of your own
free will.

NIKI
(amazed)
You really believe all that?

JAKE
Yeah.
(shrugs)
Well, mostly.

NIKI
I thought I was fucked up.

JAKE
I'll admit it's confusing from the
outside. You've got to see it from
the inside.

NIKI
If you see anything from the inside
it makes sense. You ought to hear
perverts talk. A guy once almost had
me convinced to let his dachshund
fuck me.

JAKE
It's not quite the same thing.

NIKI
It doesn't make any sense to me.

-- M. V. (m...), August 3rd, 2005.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), August 5th, 2005. (later)

dan you act like that's not true

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), August 5th, 2005. (later)

-- Momus (nic...), August 2nd, 2005 3:04 PM. (Momus) (later)

I'm just trying to get a feel, yall. We lining up some guests for the third album.

Anyone know Jandek's fees? Please keep this on the low.

-- Team Roc (scarte...), August 5th, 2005 6:28 PM. (Rob Uptight.) (later)

Answers

oops, i think i might have blown your cover by telling a friend about this.

-- Jerry Atricks (jatrick...), August 5th, 2005 6:45 PM. (later)

I need free porn video downloads now!
-- spookie (hil...), August 6th, 2005 6:49 AM.

Have you tried the Internet?
-- Anti-Pope Consortium (noodle_vagu...), August 6th, 2005 6:55 AM. (noodle vague)

Reply With Quote

Hi all,
Carl Kennedy here! Just thourght I'd post some pics of my Daughter Libby. You have all seen her in my Sig but its an old photo. Is it wrong to have feelings like this about my daughter? Her body is so fucking lush i just want to spray her with the same seaman she was created with.
---

the story goes that she was sucking of harold behind the coffee shop when lou c walked round the corner to see what was happening, before long hes ploughing it into her arse, DRY. stuart is called by a dis-stressed passer-by and when he arrives he is so turned on by this he slides himself underneath and sticks it her cunt along with his trungeon in her arse along with lous cock. she was still screaming out for more when toadie came along to read them bouncer's will. he didnt join in because he still had feelings for cindi, so he decided to just watch and beat off over it. hours had passed of savage abuse when she decided enough was enough and wanted to be hosed down. without any hesitation they all stood round her and hosed her down like the dirtbag that she is.
GOD I LOVE HER

---
Reply With Quote

quote:Originally posted by Phil Mitchell:
oh ok
thanks for clearing that up

i didnt clean it up, fuck that. they made her swallow every last drop
---

Reply With Quote

i wanna rape that slut izzy hardcore.fuck her and put my fist in her arse.

---

Reply With Quote

carl kennedy....whats the deal with sarah dog...

she wanted you to give her the fucking sausage and you fronted....

post some pics of her to make it up...

she was hotttt..

nicola charles...

word life

???

-- EmVee (hu...), August 6th, 2005.

Nice come-back.

-- Anti-Pope Consortium (noodle_vagu...), August 6th, 2005.

I'm sorry. Perhaps I was unclear.

What the fuck are you talking about?

-- EmVee (asd...), August 6th, 2005.

is he saying he saw paul newman in a movie or just saw him any old place.

-- TI... (TIM@KFC.EDU), August 7th, 2005 11:56 AM. (later) (link)

hoo, should I ride to Ally C's defence with a picture of Cathy that I'm told she'll just *hate*?

-- stet (vmdnb900...), August 7th, 2005 10:50 PM. (later)

um, no?

-- Cathy (cathyleec...), August 7th, 2005 10:51 PM. (later)

-- Paunchy Stratego (fluxion2...) (webmail), August 6th, 2005 5:27 PM. (kenan) (later)

See, say what you will about Sylvia Plath, but at least she knew well enough that her place was in the kitchen.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), August 6th, 2005 5:27 PM. (Pleasant Plains ///) (later)

THE APACHE BREAK

that's an emo band, right? ;-)

-- my favorite cover band, crystal shit (theundergroundhom...) (webmail), August 7th, 2005 4:44 PM. (Jody Beth Rosen) (later) (link)

-- David Raposa (dave...), September 4th, 2001.

'downey heads'
-- ethan (ethan...), September 4th, 2001.

Ah remember electroclash! "Golden Boy, Fischerspooner, FUTURISM 1, AMERICAN GIGOLO MIXED BY TIGA, WHO IS THIS VITALIC GUY???, ROOM SERVICE RINGING NINE BELLS, I WANT TO BE. A PORNO. STAR. WATCHING YOU ON THE SCREEN. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.......DON'T......CARE."
Good times for all!

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...) (webmail), January 28th, 2005 4:13 PM. (Ronan) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no :( its from my collection of wilford brimley's head on a walrus body fetish art
-- 3 (...), August 1st, 2005 12:27 PM.

I was out playing lacrosse one day (wall ball, actually) and naturally I get the cadre of curious local people saying, 'what that game is?' and shit. Anyway, this little old caribbean woman comes up and says, "You know how to play LACROSSE?" complete with correct French pronunciation.
'Yes,' I said.
'Oh, you KNOW that was invented by Native Americans, don't you?' she continued.
'Yes, ma'am, I do...'
'You look Oriental!'
'Yes ma'am. Half, thank you.'
'You know, some people think that the Native Americans came over a land bridge between Asia and Alaska!'
'Yes, ma'am. The Bering Strait, ma'am'
'I have a DIFFERENT theory!'
'What's that, ma'am?'
'I THINK THE NATIVE AMERICANS WENT THE OTHER WAY -- TO ASIA!'
'Well, if your theory is true, it just goes to show who the smart ones were.'

-- The Original Jimmy Mod: A Negro (fuckyouandyouremai...), August 8th, 2005. (later)

-- Fetchboy (wangchungvsah...), August 8th, 2005 6:39 PM. (Felcher) (later)

---

nabisco, I was with you on those two My Favorite threads, if nothing else.

-- k/l (lauter...), August 8th, 2005. (later)

MIA threads touched
With the hand of Geir Hongro
American Idol stars
All mocked by Strongo
Marissa Merchants
All out of their heads
These are a few
Of my favorite threads...

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 8th, 2005. (later)

When Momus types
When ddrake writes
When Alex goes mad
I simply remember my favorite threads
And then I must feel my nads

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 8th, 2005. (later)

-- mark p (mark.p****...), August 8th, 2005 8:57 AM. (later)

That's what R. Kelly said.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), August 8th, 2005 8:58 AM. (later)

-- big primpin (b...) (webmail), August 8th, 2005. (later)

Answers
because jay-z's gay.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), August 8th, 2005. (hstencil) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

more like GAY-Z!
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...) (webmail), August 8th, 2005. (jaymc) (later)

Too bad I'm an anarchist and think presidentism is stupid...

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 7th, 2005. (Tuomas) (later)

Anarchism is stupider.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), August 7th, 2005. (jaymc) (later)

No, presidentism is.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 7th, 2005. (Tuomas) (later)

No, anarchism is.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), August 7th, 2005. (jaymc) (later)

Me and a friend once came up with a perfect all-purpose chant for demonstrations. See, the word stupid is "tyhmä" in Finnish,
and it rhymes with the word "ryhmä", which means a group. So everytime at demonstrations we chanted stuff like "The
bourgeoisie is stupid, we have a big group!" or "USA is stupid, we have a big group!".

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 7th, 2005. (Tuomas) (later)

Presidentism is always a 1000 times stupider than anarchism. Locked, the keys are in the sun, they melted away, can change it!
Nyah nyah nyah!

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 7th, 2005. (Tuomas) (later)

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

-- Paunchy Stratego (fluxion2...), August 7th, 2005. (kenan) (later)

Next up in our series "Political Discourse on ILE": Hitlerism vs pointillism.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 7th, 2005. (Tuomas) (later)

oxford grammar of classical greek
oxford classical greek dictionary
wittgenstein's lectures on the philosophy of mathematics
wittgenstein's notebooks 1914-1919
james brown - kierkegaard, heidegger, buber, and barth
-- Josh (kortbei...), July 29th, 2005. (Josh)

I didn't know Kierkegaard and the lads had written a book about James Brown.
-- Tim (hopkinsti...), July 29th, 2005. (Tim)

-- accentmonkey (tris...), August 8th, 2005. (accentmonkey) (later)

(I love you but you're missing the point.)

-- marissa marchant (freakvo...), August 5th, 2005 2:17 PM. (later) (link)

Yes, we know what Henna is.

-- I'm playing it cool but it's terribly cruel / Kate (kat...), August 5th, 2005 2:28 PM. (papa november) (later) (link)

The aptly named Eric Dill, frontman of ! TC5 !

-- oh dear god (TC5CRAYZEE#...), August 9th, 2005.

i'm getting a real date rapey vibe here ppl
-- geoff (gffcnn...), August 9th, 2005.

-- Pashmina (vietgrov...), August 9th, 2005.

it's the last part where i just lost it.

-- frustrated like Ultra Magnus trying to open the Autobot Matrix of Wisdom, but he can't, because he's a tool, and it wasn't even their darkest hour yet. (nickaliciou...), August 8th, 2005. (later)

ROFFLEMAYONNAISE!

Anyway:

The Finnish compound word "riiuuyöaie" has an amazing count of nine consecutive vowels, and it translates to "courting night intention". For foreigners, it's almost impossible to prononounce. No one actually uses the word.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 9th, 2005 1:10 AM. (Tuomas) (later)

what does courting night intention mean? is that a noun or a verb?

-- s1ocki (slytus...), August 9th, 2005 1:10 AM. (slutsky) (later)

it means 'fucking' slocki

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 9th, 2005 1:12 AM. (ken c) (later)

That is going on the tombstone, even if I die in my bed reading Teen People while watching Alone In The Dark.

1. Look for a guy dressed as a police officer. (Trust me, he's not.)
2. As a greeting, punch him in the nuts as hard as you can.
At some point in the future (after a thrilling adventure) you will get your weed.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), August 5th, 2005.

I have been adrift for far too long...I have sailed the seas of indie and new acoustic, both of which still hold fond memories for me, and I hope to revist some day...but I have found my calling, my true purpose in life!
I shall, in systematic fashion, collect a large amount of hip hop and analyze to the most minute level possible the samples contained therein.

There is nothing terribly profound or original about this, but I have realized that this, more than most other things, will bring me enjoyment as a music fan.

I have spent the afternoon reading old threads re: old skool hip hop etc. I need a $30 - $40 starter, and am thinking either the Def Jam box or the Sugar Hill Box. Any other suggestions?

Off to break down some Jay Z albums! Woohoo!

-- Big Loud Mountain Ape (bigheadyet...), August 9th, 2005.

My life's goal is to avoid you.
-- PB (non...), August 9th, 2005.

-- PB (non...), August 9th, 2005.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), August 9th, 2005 2:55 PM. (Pleasant Plains ///) (later) (link)

what now?

-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), August 9th, 2005 2:56 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

Dear Young Poet:
Please stop now.

Best,
Rilke

-- andy -- (and...), August 10th, 2005 9:27 AM. (later)

haha

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...), August 10th, 2005. (Hurting)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I exhibit none of these traits except 3 and 7, but I'm not gay. But I suppose if you put me and Hurting together, make sure to lock the door.

-- Leeeeeeee (leeeee@É¡É ÉøÉ«É….É»oÉ ), August 10th, 2005. (Leee)

-- frustrated like Ultra Magnus trying to open the Autobot Matrix of Wisdom, but he can't, because he's a tool, and it wasn't even their darkest hour yet. (nickaliciou...), August 8th, 2005. (later)

HAHA that is CLASSIC!

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 9th, 2005 4:46 PM. (ken c) (later)

what's best about it is that the wheels have recently been semi-detached, and now it is without a chain.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 9th, 2005 4:48 PM. (ken c) (later)

I can handle all of these just fine.

You need to hire an old lady to eat them in turn. Though it does mean you'll end up with a horse infestation before things get better.

-- Markelby (boyinco...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

-- Jo Farigan (nine black alps' no # 1 fan) (jkfarigan@hotmail.com), August 10th, 2005 12:01 PM. (later)

(random post from the Forget About The Sugar promo thread)

-- Jo Farigan (nine black alps' most confused fan) (...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 10th, 2005 9:37 PM. (Tuomas) (later)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

-- Andrew Farrell (...), August 10th, 2005. (afarrell) (later)

who is Kate? and why is she being mean?

(I am Kate, and honestly, I am not being mean. You did make me laugh. I think it was the bit about Plath. I'm sorry, I was not being malicious.)

(although possibly not her *real* real name. I can never remember)

(xpost)

-- Land Ho (41x4my...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

-- or possibly bartok (imagesearchmanipulato...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

Nah, he's dead.

-- Pete Murphy (virginal.bride...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

Undead, undead, undead, I think you'll find.

-- David Jay's Tea Towel (masonicboo...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

We've already done this thread.

-- Draw Tipsy, ya hack. (right.knewi...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

This thread, this thread, this thread.

-- Meat Purphy (red.velve...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

Did you guys ever see my interview with her?

-- Googley Asearch (lindseyloha...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

Unread, unread, unread.

-- Meet Pervy (floggin...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

headfuck repost to same thread omgwtf delete me plz.

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/searchresults.php?board=2&q=nine+black+alps&mode=threads

Post a question here, Jo:
http://ilx.wh3rd.net/askaquestion.php?board=2

bye

xxx
Jo

Pentagon Celebrates Four Years of Having the Ultimate Excuse to Do Whatever the Fuck It Wants

...with special guest Clint Black!

-- Truckdrivin' Buddha (crump...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

Does Kingfish have the day off?

-- Leon C. (nicole.kessle...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

God I hope so.

-- n/a (nu...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

how many nerds will there be at his funeral?

-- not-goodwin (godwin...), August 10th, 2005 2:30 PM. (not-goodwin) (later)

None, they're just watch it online.

Unless it affects their ping badly.

-- aldo_cowpat (aldo.cowpa...), August 10th, 2005 2:38 PM. (aldo_cowpat) (later)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

That's the point? Why not just read the phonebook then?

-- Alba (albab...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

That's not an idea for one of your stupid records, by the way.

-- Alba (albab...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

Seriously.

-- mark p (mark.p****...), August 10th, 2005 10:28 AM. (Mark P) (later) (link)

Marissa Marchant fucking sucks
I hate her music and she is a rejected demo. Seek some professional help ya hack.
You fucking such ya whore.
Snap my string bitch.
You are an inferior rejected demo.
slut.
Blue Note knew what they were doing when signing the mega talented star Norah Jones who is a absolute genius and monster talent.
You can tell her voice is stunning and strong and unique...unlike Marissa Marchant psycho child from hell. the girl sucks, and my dick.
-- aldo_cowpatt (aldo_cowpa...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

_________________________________________________

It's probably only funny to people who have been reading the Marissa threads, but to see her create a fake 'me' to say what she thought I was saying when I was expressing genuine concern about her health based on the increasingly deranged fake posters she was creating in thread made me guiltily roffle.

this is the thread where we copy & paste the posts that really make us think

The two Ts and the aol domain didn't make you wonder? Of course, we can only think of one other person who posts to their own thread with invented aol addresses...

Could M4r1ss4 be C4lum?

-- g-kit (kittenslikemil...) (webmail), August 10th, 2005 11:47 AM.

-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), August 10th, 2005. (link)

-- n/a (nu...), August 10th, 2005. (later)

HAHAHA no one likes my news posts oh boo hoo hooo

Oh, is THAT what that meant.

-- JimD (ji...), August 11th, 2005 9:31 PM. (JimD) (later)

-- strng hlkngtn (hm...), August 11th, 2005 1:15 PM. (later)

-- Jo Farigan (nine black alps' most confused fan) (jkfarigan@hotmail.com), August 10th, 2005 8:28 AM.

imagine a can of worms so big that the worms are the size of those creatures from Tremors. now ask yourself if you want to open it.

-- teeny (teen...), August 10th, 2005 8:55 PM. (teeny) (later)

I don't know if it was the shock factor or what but that last line just knocked me out.

BUT YEAH WHATEVER.

-- James Mitchell (jame...), August 11th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SHE STARTED BREATHING WERE YOU PICKING YOUR NOSE?
-- RJG (RJ...), August 11th, 2005.

-- dahlin (dahling00...), August 10th, 2005 12:27 AM. (dahlin) (later)

You're at work??

-- Cathy (cathyleec...), August 10th, 2005 12:29 AM. (Cathy) (later)

THE METRO NEVER SLEEPS.

-- Alba (albab...), August 10th, 2005 12:30 AM. (Alba) (later)

[.......]

especially when there's football and i'm on the sports desk :(
i lied anyway. i'm home now.

-- dahlin (dahling00...), August 10th, 2005 12:34 AM. (dahlin) (later)

STOP PRESS: THE METRO SOMETIMES SLEEPS

-- Alba (albab...), August 10th, 2005 12:35 AM. (Alba) (later)

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), August 11th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That also appears on Pitchfork.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), August 11th, 2005. (link)

-- The Ghost of Black Shit-Stirring (djperr...), August 11th, 2005 11:02 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (6-grams-of-fa...) (webmail), August 11th, 2005 12:39 PM. (ex machina) (later) (link)

I don't mean this cruelly at all, but the image is really fucking OTM.

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), August 11th, 2005 3:47 PM. (nabisco) (link)

-- strng hlkngtn (hm...) (webmail), August 12th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dude chicago's a navy town and my broheems emerson is up there, you got a gravy highway at yr feet dude!
-- j blount (jamesbloun...), August 12th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jaymc that's no fair, you know ned has hoagie pits
-- j blount (jamesbloun...), August 12th, 2005.

(sorry ned, it did make me laff tho)

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), August 11th, 2005. (Pleasant Plains ///) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN 16 YEARS IS GROW A BEARD AND MOVE YOUR HEAD SLIGHTLY.

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), August 11th, 2005. (Alba) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

color safe bleach could have kept your blue t-shirt a little more vibrant over the years, PP.

-- andrew m. (westernis...) (webmail), August 11th, 2005. (andrewmorgan) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- n/a (nu...), August 11th, 2005 12:01 AM. (Nick A.) (later)

Conversion, here I come!

-- n/a (nu...), August 11th, 2005 12:02 AM. (Nick A.) (later)

Where do I line up for circumcision?

-- n/a (nu...), August 11th, 2005 12:02 AM. (Nick A.) (later)

[Slayer.jpg]

"Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay."

-- n/a (nu...), August 11th, 2005 12:07 AM. (Nick A.) (later)

It's starting to smell like Custos in here, isn't it. Sorry.

-- n/a (nu...), August 11th, 2005 12:07 AM. (Nick A.) (later)

GANJA FLAME
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), August 12th, 2005. (later)

... I'm saying hipsters are behind the times, and many of the people who 'object' to the style will probably rock it when enough time has passed for it to be 'ironically' acceptable.
-- deej.. (el...), August 12th, 2005.

One time, in my ill-advised pre-pubescent thinking-Gallagher-was-cool stage, I put a watermelon in one hoping to crush it. I was sadly disappointed; not to mention, a total retard.
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), August 12th, 2005 1:51 PM. (nickalicious) (later)

"dead lady's crotch-sand!"
Best name for a breakfast cereal, ever.

-- JTS (knife_of_justic...), August 12th, 2005 6:39 PM.

So how did the wasp stuff turn out?

-- M. V. (m...), August 12th, 2005.

i am horrified of wasps. if i'm near one i start to panic and hyperventilate. never been stung.

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), August 12th, 2005.

The wasp now drives a minivan and drinks Starbucks coffee.

--The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperry@gmail.com), August 12th, 2005.

Good luck with the wasp thing Alec. I don't know who you are but I send you hugs and caring thoughts. A friend of mine was stung by a wasp so I know how hard it can be ;)

-- moley (mol...), August 12th, 2005 4:39 PM. (later)

-- Aaron A. (__...), August 13th, 2005 1:27 AM.

marissa, here you can just put the letter "i" in front of a link to the image file.

-- Rockist_Scientist (Al__suca...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

that is a lie. I remembered it. It is Img something or other.
-- marissa -marchant (freakvo...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

-- marissa -marchant (freakvo...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

[img]mydocuments/mypictures/marissayoyd.jpeg[/img]
-- marissa -marchant (freakvo...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

"i" mydocuments/mypictures/marissayoyd.jpeg
-- marissa -marchant (freakvo...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

I think it has to begin with "http." It can't go directly to your PC, it has to be something that's up on a server somewhere.
It's not a lie. This board has been set up so you can post images by putting an "i" in front of a link to an image.

Maybe someone else can explain it better, because I don't understand the technical side of it.

But there's no way you will be able to link directly to something in your "My Documents" file. The image file has to be up on a server.

-- Rockist_Scientist (Al__suca...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

(When you use the i, don't use quotation marks around it, either.)
Okay, here is an example. Here's a link, right:

http://image.gsfc.nasa.gov/press_release/2000_05_31/aurora_0095.jpg

Now, if you put an i in front of that url, you get the image itself (unless it's too large):

http://image.gsfc.nasa.gov/press_release/2000_05_31/aurora_0095.jpg

-- Rockist_Scientist (Al__suca...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

that would make sense, so I have nothing to prove anyway.
I could always email my photos if someone was curious as to what I look like. I am not desperate for attention.
-- marissa -marchant (freakvo...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

this doesn't work anymore. you've gotta do it the old-fashioned way (open bracket img src equal sign url close bracket).

-- rizzx (joris...), August 13th, 2005.

Really. I thought only Guitar World employees worshipped Vai.

-- Alfred Soto (sotoal...), August 13th, 2005.

its a big store, alfred.

-- petesmith (plsmit...), August 13th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Blah bluh blah blah, drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot, I'm rollin' in the phom and the phom is shom jom and the jam jam lam cuz I got it goin' on."
-- n/a (nu...) (webmail), June 23rd, 2005. (Nick A.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, it bears reminding that many (most?) memes that are identified with ILx got their start well outside of ILx. "Rockist," "mentalist," "cockfarmer," "-xxor" and Momus are all examples of this.
-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

I got "rub" from my teenage cousin.
ILx is just like a big global melting pot o' shit.
-- Alba (albab...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

I prefer to think of it as an incubator for mutants.
-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

fondu pot for marchants
-- tremendoid (kemeti...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

International Twattery Expo.
-- Alba (albab...), August 14th, 2005. (later)

101 Ways To Wipe The Smirk Clean Off That Bed-Ridden Hag's Face

-- William Bloody Swygart (thingummy9...), August 14th, 2005 3:55 PM. (mrswygart) (later) (link)

-- marissa -marchant- (freakvo...), August 14th, 2005.

-- Michael Jones (tourajsig...), April 7th, 2005 11:08 AM. (MichaelJ)

-- madge (maddybaby3...), August 13th, 2005 1:44 PM. (later)

(Haulin' Oats! I love it!)

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...), August 14th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh please
-- John (johndahle...), August 15th, 2005 8:45 AM. (jdahlem) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok he did nm
-- John (johndahle...), August 15th, 2005 8:46 AM. (jdahlem) (later) (link)

-- GARUG (GAR...), August 15th, 2005 7:18 AM. (later)

I HAVE A GIGANTIC WOMAN-PLEASING PENIS

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djper...), August 15th, 2005. (Dan Perry) (later)

But what do normal-sized women think?

-- Forest Pines (fores...), August 15th, 2005. (ForestPines) (later)

INITIAL SURVEY RESULTS EVENLY SPLIT

-- The Ghost of Oh No He Didn't (djper...), August 15th, 2005. (Dan Perry) (later)

-- gypsy mothra (meetm...), August 15th, 2005 3:51 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mr. stats wife?
-- amon (...) (webmail), August 16th, 2005 3:33 AM. (later) (link)

yeah, school assembly! i had that nearly every day.
"FUCK THIS, I'M GOING BOWLING!" and stuff.
-- g-kit

of all the things g-kit could've stood up and shouted in assembly this wins by a country mile.

it's funny to mention zach braff, because did you know the site got its name from his movie, garden state? there's a scene where natalie portman plays "new slang" by the shins and says "listen to this, it'll change your life." it's a really awesome scene.

-- casey bates (newslan...), August 14th, 2005.

that casey person is someone taking the piss right?

-- gem (gemilyinterrupte...), August 14th, 2005.

it's marissa marchant

-- some stockholm cindy talking (theundergroundhom...), August 14th, 2005.

why would i be taking a piss? (??) i just really liked the site, and it's too bad it had to fold or whatever-- it was great, like all the best writing about all the best albums, all linked in one place. i found so many terrific albums that way. did you guys not like the site or something?

-- casey bates (newslan...), August 14th, 2005.

okay, now yr definitely taking the piss.

-- jermaine (noblemusi...), August 14th, 2005.

what does that even mean!?? i'm at my computer, i haven't finished paying it off yet, and if i pissed on it it would break. you do the math.

-- nabiscothingy (--...), August 14th, 2005.

oh shit the jig is up!

-- nabiscothingy (--...), August 14th, 2005.

-- ugly and mean (1010101...), August 16th, 2005. (later)

I think everyone and their pooey gran realized this had happened.
-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 17th, 2005 12:16 AM. (later)

I laughed till I wheezed when I read this.

-- Craig Gilchrist (craig.a.gilchris...), August 16th, 2005 7:11 AM. (Craig Gilchrist) (later)

This would seem to indicate that all is going either very well or extremely badly.

-- moley (mol...), August 16th, 2005 7:36 AM. (later)

they are humpin' like fiends

-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...), August 16th, 2005 7:37 AM. (Homosexual II) (later)

but is he alive?

-- Thermo Thinwall (tupac.chopr...), August 16th, 2005 7:41 AM. (Thermo Thinwall) (later)

If he is, does he wish he wasn't?

-- Craig Gilchrist (craig.a.gilchris...), August 16th, 2005 7:47 AM. (Craig Gilchrist) (later)

they are humpin' like friends

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 16th, 2005 7:49 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

They are fiendin' like humps.

-- n/a (nu...), August 16th, 2005 7:51 AM. (Nick A.) (later)

they are struggling with the video equipment

-- mookieproof (mookieproo...), August 16th, 2005 7:53 AM. (mookieproof) (later)

im trying to think up a clever rhyme.. to do with humpin'.. and I'm not clever enough.

dan perry?

-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...), August 16th, 2005 7:55 AM. (Homosexual II) (later)

Contrary to popular opinion, "Dan Perry" does not rhyme with "humpin'".

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 16th, 2005 7:57 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

http://base58.com/ilx/fac1comicsans.gif

-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...), August 9th, 2005.

So if I read this correctly, ILM is going to be five years old in ten days, right?

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...) (webmail), August 16th, 2005 9:10 PM. (epicharmus) (later) (link)

who's gonna teach it to read?

-- s/c (theundergroundhom...) (webmail), August 16th, 2005 9:14 PM. (Jody Beth Rosen) (later) (link)

dipset = music for rich white hipsters??? no, and you need to shut up. listen, i'm from washington heights, born & raised. when hell rell says "i done copped from every damn haze spot on audobon" i'm like 'so did i, what?' when they talk about stuff up here in the heights and in harlem it's real shit.. all the lil pubescent mother fuckers on my block yell byrd gang and throw eagles up, it's like that. i dont know where you people are from but have you seen 40 kids rushing a cop car to pull their friend who was arrested out??? welcome to purple city... kids get crazy up here and the music up here is dipset, well, at least dipset will get played a lot here and these are not white people they are dominicans. really what santana must do is generate a public persona that has more sides to it than his current one. the whole 'back like cooked crack' persona needs to culminate with 'fiend out' whenever that drops because personally i find it hard to believe that Juelz Santana a.k.a. LeRon James is out there selling crack in harlem.... i haven't seen him selling crack on the streets, and i doubt any one else has either. he's defintaley not on 140th & lenox, or at least i don't see him there.

-- piffster (the.citize...), August 16th, 2005.

i think hes in the 80s

-- jake b. (Jacob.Becke...), August 16th, 2005.

you better believe it

-- piffster (ye...), August 17th, 2005.

if you get the grant jim you're gonna have to work out how to spend it for maximum exposure. here's a draft proposal on how to split the funds:

30% - fee for michael mayer remix
25% - bribery of various influential ilm posters
20% - pitchfork advert, situated just under much larger urban outfitters advert
15% - get professional forgers to create false sri lankan passport for "interesting backstory" purposes
5% - cocaine

-- haitch has some respect for artists (big.jesus.trash.ca...), August 17th, 2005 3:43 PM. (haitch) (later)

[...]

i don't need to bribe ned! that saves me 25% right there

-- jimmy glass (electricsoun...), August 17th, 2005 3:44 PM. (electricsound) (later)

-- Momus (nic...) (webmail), August 16th, 2005 8:26 PM. (later) (link)

Tonight, Cat Deely, I (momus)'m going to be....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1OSION
Yo,This has gotta hurt,even though i still think that camuand crew scrap was majorly overated,and camu took a lumping also.But i don't know,getting knocked has gotta hurt!There are mad copy haters,but i'm gonna be honest,i still enjoy his joints etc.At least he stood up for himself and didn't try and get someone else to fight his battles,he came off second,but didn't bitch out,This will fuck alot of you off,but i remember cage runnin up on celph from behind,crownin' him with a 40oz then running away.That is a mad pussy move there!!!

in my opinion copy has more balls to get beat up without running away than cracking a dope dude like celph and running away.

GENERAL MANAGER
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 152

then again your opinions probly include thoughts like slug can lift 10 times his own weight , celph titleds beard is awesome, and the jedi mind tricks would look cool in starter jackets

-- k/l (lauter...), August 17th, 2005 2:33 PM. (later)

I half-expected dude to whip out his cock, cum on the three people dancing in front of the stage (as opposed to the 20 standing around drinking the free beer and the 300 who walked onto the quad, looked at the band and turned away with the most priceless "OH HELL NO" faces ever pulled) and shout "THIS IS WHAT GOOD MUSIC TASTES LIKE, BABY!" but that would have been interesting and I could see three minutes into the set that "interesting" just wasn't on the cards for that day. When the ad-hoc student band puts on a more engaging and professional show than you do, it's time for some healthy self-examination.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 17th, 2005. (later)

Jonathan Rosenbaum hits about the right median, I think, esp re its misogyny:

Good campy fun from the combined talents of Paddy Chayefsky and Sidney Lumet; Chayefsky was apparently serious about much of this shrill, self-important 1976 satire about television, interlaced with bile about radicals and pushy career women, and so were some critics at the time.
-- Dr Morbius (wjwe...), August 17th, 2005 8:41 AM.

...

xpost I find Jonathan Rosenbaum shrill and self-important.
-- Paunchy Stratego (fluxion2...), August 17th, 2005 10:58 AM.

I half-expected dude to whip out his cock, cum on the three people dancing in front of the stage (as opposed to the 20 standing around drinking the free beer and the 300 who walked onto the quad, looked at the band and turned away with the most priceless "OH HELL NO" faces ever pulled) and shout "THIS IS WHAT GOOD MUSIC TASTES LIKE, BABY!" but that would have been interesting and I could see three minutes into the set that "interesting" just wasn't on the cards for that day. When the ad-hoc student band puts on a more engaging and professional show than you do, it's time for some healthy self-examination.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 17th, 2005.

I love you.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 17th, 2005.

I know.

-- The Ghost of Han Solo (djperr...), August 17th, 2005.

-- Doesn't M@tt He1geson Deserve A Cool, Funny Login Name? (matt@game[remove]informer.com), August 18th, 2005 10:56 AM. (later)

Right, that's my crystal-pure life ruined in one handy sentence.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 18th, 2005.

. . . says the guy from Pitchfork

-- Matos-Webster Dictionary (michaelangelomato...), August 18th, 2005. (later)

-- David R. (quoteidio...), August 19th, 2005.

dude you're over the moon anyway

-- Haikunym (zinogu...), August 19th, 2005.

Winner.

THIS SUSHI IS TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!
-- Adam In Real Life (adamr...), August 19th, 2005 1:16 PM. (nordicskilla) (later)

"We will crush your puny roof-top park with a nice view of the Palomar Hotel and the room where Harding died!! THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEAR US, YOU HEATHENS!"
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), August 19th, 2005 1:16 PM. (Alex in SF) (later)

WHAT A TERRIBLE SHOESHINE!!!!!!!!!!
-- Adam In Real Life (adamr...), August 19th, 2005 1:17 PM. (nordicskilla) (later)

-- Wang Dang Doodle ƒur¥ (j...) (webmail), August 19th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or a nightie
-- Adam In Real Life (adamr...), August 19th, 2005 12:31 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you explain anything to the roomate/GF or just try to play it off?
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), August 19th, 2005 12:39 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi! Thought you guys might need an extra penis."
-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 19th, 2005 12:40 PM.

Not sleepwalking, but a dumb sleep thing for sure: On a church trip to Cocoa Beach when I was 14. Slept in a hotel room with one other girl, Ashley, who was 16, rich and popular. Had a dream that I was pushing a raft gently across the ocean. Woke up to find that I had my hands on Ash's arse and had actually been pushing HER gently out of the bed. Faced.

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), August 19th, 2005.

-- Adam In Real Life (adamr...), August 19th, 2005 1:19 PM

I am shocked that there are people this stupid.

Uhhh... the purpose of going to a show is to see good music. Get a life and stop trying so hard.

-- James G. Wert (james.gabriel.wer...) (webmail), August 19th, 2005 4:00 PM. (later)

See good music? I suppose you're in favor of psychedelics then?

-- Jamey Lewis (michaeldotdel...) (webmail), August 19th, 2005 5:40 PM. (Jameys Burning) (later)

haha i love this

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), August 19th, 2005 9:31 AM. (trayce) (later)

No, Americans pronounce it "NASCAR."

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), August 19th, 2005 9:38 AM. (walterkranz) (later)

hey jude, take a small cock and make it bigger ffs

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), August 18th, 2005 4:04 AM. (gear)

-- bugged out (bu...), August 20th, 2005.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I like ice cream.

-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...), August 20th, 2005.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

strawberry is so much better than chocolate.

-- bugged out (bu...), August 20th, 2005.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), August 19th, 2005

All thread revivals should work like this.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

but how come you're not a grown up then?
-- oops (monkeybut...), August 21st, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because I managed to retain my sense of childlike wonder.
Bite me.

-- luna (lunace...), August 21st, 2005.

That's a good read, pdf. It's also remarkable that you were able to type the whole thing using only your left hand.

-- moley (mol...), August 21st, 2005.

-- Porkpie (porkypi...), April 25th, 2005 12:55 AM. (porkpie)

what does this even mean? i'm american.

-- caitlin oh no (caitx...), April 25th, 2005 1:22 AM. (caitxa1)

it means "directly translated":

hello hello, sausage made from Offal

-- Porkpie (porkypi...), April 25th, 2005 1:24 AM. (porkpie)

-- Laura H. (elemenopa...), August 22nd, 2005.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you hate pun?
-- estela

I just don't understand the human race sometimes

-- hold tight the private caller (giaou...) (webmail), August 22nd, 2005 11:56 AM. (mwah) (later) (link)

yeh prancehall is a bit embarrassing. sometimes puts mp3s up tho so thats alright
-- ambrose (ambrosewhit...) (webmail), August 22nd, 2005 12:13 PM. (ambrose) (later) (link)

that's the spirit
-- hold tight the private caller (giaou...) (webmail), August 22nd, 2005 12:23 PM. (mwah) (later) (link)

ME FLANGE IS A BIT FISHY MIND U GARU ME GARNDSON GOD BLESS HIS SOUL SOON SORTS THAT OUT WITH SOME FRESH POOS AND WEES

-- MERYL G (MERYL...), August 22nd, 2005 11:13 AM. (later)

-- Diddyismus the Blind (of Alexandria) (dadaismus@hotmail.co.uk), August 22nd, 2005. (later)

-- JD from CDepot (kicksjoydarknes...), August 22nd, 2005.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

you should put his face in the sand.

-- Al (hoteloper...), August 22nd, 2005.

Hi Chicago!
Dudes, I had a pretty crazy weekend. I fell off a moped, drank beer at breakfast, made pasta puttanesca, went up to Devil's Lake, and got engaged!

-- Jordan (jordan...), August 22nd, 2005. (Jordan) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YAY, JORDAN! Have you talked about dates yet?

-- Kittens Licking Cakes (x77tigersxu...), August 22nd, 2005. (coco) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Errr, Sarah, they're getting married, so it's probably a little late to start dating.
-- n/a (nu...), August 22nd, 2005. (Nick A.) (link)

-- Adam In Real Life (adamr...) (webmail), August 22nd, 2005 5:59 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), August 22nd, 2005.

You can guess which part I edited.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 23rd, 2005 8:37 AM. (Tuomas) (later)

OK, next time you accuse ME of trolling..... :D

-- I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (6-grams-of-fa...), August 23rd, 2005 8:42 AM. (ex machina) (later)

Can you call that trolling? Maybe, but it'll hurt no one. Besides, no doubt the followers of True Black Metal will soon come and right the wrongs we have sown... ;)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 23rd, 2005 8:56 AM. (Tuomas) (later)

Not a trolling so much as an elfing.

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), August 23rd, 2005 9:03 AM. (walterkranz) (later)

9. The first romance I read was: Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth

11. The first coming-of-age story I read was: The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...) (webmail), August 22nd, 2005 2:59 PM. (Mark C) (later)

pale and wan

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), August 23rd, 2005 5:02 PM. (mark grout) (later)

[...]

I don't agree about 'wan' - I use it and have heard it used alone quite frequently.

-- Archel (slightlyfoxe...), August 23rd, 2005 5:05 PM. (Archel) (later)

I don't agree about 'wan' - I use it and have heard it used alone quite frequently.

Well, you *are* on a Belle and Sebastian mailing list...

-- I Dream Of Sleep (masonicboo...), August 23rd, 2005 5:08 PM. (kate) (later)

You have an air leak in your penis and it's the cause of her barking vadge.
-- M. White (deir...), August 23rd, 2005 5:42 PM. (later)

Anyway:

R&B what is it/was it?

Anyway:

---

hi fred! you have piercing blue eyes that skewer my heart like a musical shish kebab.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), August 23rd, 2005. (later)

shit, that was supposed to go on friendster

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), August 23rd, 2005. (later)

Well, I mean, it is kinda disillusioning to see Chris Cunningham's video skills go to the sinker after his peak, y'know?

-- Lupton Pitman (thebing...) (webmail), August 24th, 2005. (Chris V) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This elicited a lot of hollerin'. My expression this entire time was something like this, except more pained: : o

-- gear (speed.to.roa...) (webmail), August 24th, 2005. (link)

-- I AM JOHN LENNON (KALMUND...), August 23rd, 2005.

-- Static Electricity (painfrustrationsorro...), August 24th, 2005 3:06 PM. (staticelectricity)

dancer one: "to surprise... you in.... the flesh"
dancer two: "you love me... you must.... confess!"
-- jed_ (colin_o_har...) (webmail), August 24th, 2005 2:21 AM. (jed) (later) (link)

Are they separate roles?
-- Tim Finney (tfinne...) (webmail), August 24th, 2005 2:22 AM. (Tim Finney) (later) (link)

hmm maybe those two are the same.
-- jed_ (colin_o_har...) (webmail), August 24th, 2005 2:23 AM. (jed) (later) (link)

I thought it was all from the viewpoint of the flasher:

I was leaving the office
I took off my dress
I put on my overcoat
To surprise you in the flesh
It's written all over my chest
You love me you must confess
You passed the test
-- Tim Finney (tfinne...) (webmail), August 24th, 2005 2:27 AM. (Tim Finney) (later) (link)

yes

thanks for ruining my dance routine!
-- jed_ (colin_o_har...) (webmail), August 24th, 2005 2:30 AM. (jed) (later) (link)

-- s1ocki (slytus...), August 25th, 2005. (slutsky) (later)

-- haitch (big.jesus.trash.ca...), August 25th, 2005.

No. Instead my REAL NAME is being used by a guy who like to write stories about fucking dragons and chimeras.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...) (webmail), August 25th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your real name is Rob1n R1ggs?

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...) (webmail), August 25th, 2005. (link)

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 25th, 2005 1:15 PM. (Dan Perry) (later)

fuck school is about how they don't really like school that much.

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), August 25th, 2005 1:17 PM. (Matt Helgeson) (later)

Pretty much everything Ronan says in his argument with biz made me laugh out loud.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), August 26th, 2005. (later)

The footholds of phonetics!

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), August 26th, 2005. (later)

They are the ladders of language, the crampons of kerrectness!

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), August 26th, 2005. (later)

They don't have water in them.

-- gypsy mothra (meet...), August 26th, 2005. (gypsy mothra) (later)

-- geoff (gffcnn...), August 26th, 2005 6:10 PM. (gcannon) (later)

-- Alex in Mississippi (crump...), August 25th, 2005 8:19 PM. (later) (link)

What's that?

-- Alex in Knoxville (emilysu...), August 25th, 2005 8:41 PM. (later) (link)

Mind-meld!

-- (Not That)Alex In SF (adamrl@gmail.com), August 25th, 2005 8:41 PM. (later) (link)

I can't say just yet... it's still in the R&D stage... (xpost)

-- Alex in Elvis' Birthplace (crump...), August 25th, 2005 8:45 PM. (later) (link)

I see.

-- Alex in 4th and Gill (emilysu...), August 25th, 2005 8:51 PM. (later) (link)

Oh I don't know about this.

-- Alex in Portland (chri...), August 25th, 2005 8:53 PM. (later) (link)

Oh, I dunno, y'know?

-- Alex Across the Street from Save-A-Lot (crump...), August 25th, 2005 8:59 PM. (later) (link)

Worth pondering.

-- Alex in Denny Vertigo (ne...), August 25th, 2005 9:01 PM. (later) (link)

NO.

-- Alex in The J. Edgar Hoover Building (no...), August 25th, 2005 9:03 PM. (later) (link)

I don't see what the big deal is. Maybe we can just try it for 2 months and then re-evaluate if anyting changes.

-- Alex in the Garage (emilysu...), August 25th, 2005 9:09 PM. (later) (link)

::beer-spit::

-- Alex in the Middle of a Thunderstorm (crump...), August 25th, 2005 9:15 PM. (later) (link)

[note: we seem to be discussing the merits of making ILE registered-Alexes In Places only on this thead now --mod]

-- Alex in Vestal (emilysu...), August 25th, 2005 9:25 PM.

WORST SLASH EVER

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 26th, 2005.

I like how the couple in your erotic story are not allowed to be reading an erotic story.
also: "punt = loved"

...what is "punt"?

-- Slumpman (mrmummr...), August 26th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't understand "me cum"

xpost: they're trying to say pwn3d

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), August 26th, 2005.

-- Luminiferous Aether (maso...), August 26th, 2005. (kate) (later)

-- anthony (anthony.easto...), August 26th, 2005 2:58 PM. (later)

It's more about how you dress, and what music you listen to.

-- Raston Warrior Robot (fathand...), August 26th, 2005 3:01 PM. (alix) (later)

/\
/ \
/ \
/ \
(/ < > \)
/ \
/ \
/ /''''''\ \
\''''''/

-- latebloomer: funky like a monkey and as cool as a cat (posercore24...), August 27th, 2005.

fuck, that was supposed to be the "Jaws" one-sheet. oh well.

-- latebloomer: funky like a monkey and as cool as a cat (posercore24...), August 27th, 2005.

you're gonna need a bigger boat

-- mookieproof (mookieproo...), August 27th, 2005.

meat = penis

Hopefully it's not necessary to substitute this one when actually talking about meat.

-- Craig Gilchrist (craig.a.gilchris...), August 26th, 2005 1:13 AM. (Craig Gilchrist) (later)

"Those barbecued ribs are amazing! The penis just falls off the bone."

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 26th, 2005 1:14 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

-- milozauckerman (wooderso...), August 26th, 2005. (miloaukerman) (later)

I was about to say, let's not overstate here. He hosted Ceaucescu, for instance.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 26th, 2005. (Ned) (later)

Not to mention that he's the #6 person who is screwing up America.

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), August 26th, 2005. (walterkranz) (later)

Also, bitching about Limp Bizkit or Creed in late 2005 is the stuff of bad time-travel movies.

-- David R. (quoteidio...), August 27th, 2005.

It's more like post-traumatic stress disorder.

-- polyphonic (polyphoni...), August 27th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you live in Seattle right?
-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...), August 26th, 2005.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- 100% JUICE (Nutritio...), August 27th, 2005. (later)

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 4th, 2004.

haha

-- gypsy mothra (meet...), August 26th, 2005. (gypsy mothra) (later)

-- Forest Pines (il...), August 26th, 2005 12:26 AM.

Yhis has just got to be the most hyterically funny things I have EVA READ. Made me spit water all over the monitor! FF,MMLOL, ROFFLE!!!

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 1:49 PM. (Ronan) (later)

maybe we could give ILX some kind of holodeck, for posters who are having a bad day

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 1:50 PM. (Ronan) (later)

perhaps if we organised rescuing a whale named willy

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 1:50 PM. (Ronan) (later)

what if we go on holiday and leave a troll in charge of the board, only for him/her to save it from thieves???

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 1:52 PM. (Ronan) (later)

there's always the risk that we find ourselves on a planet which we are unfamiliar with, which initially seems utopian, but eventually one ilxor falls into a flower bed and we discover in this "utopian" society, such an action is punishable by death.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 1:53 PM. (Ronan) (later)

if we made a board populated by only one gender, would nature eventually find a way???????

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 1:56 PM. (Ronan) (later)

perhaps a key system for posting could be implemented, whereby everytime you wish to post, 200 posters must turn a key simultaneously.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 1:58 PM. (Ronan) (later)

Maybe some kind of retinal scan???

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 11:46 PM. (Ronan) (later) (link)

though what if a troll were to gouge out the eyes of a regular poster

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 11:49 PM. (Ronan) (later) (link)

WEL-COME TO JURRASSIC PAAARK

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 2:03 PM. (Ronan) (later)

I own a messageboard, off the coast of Costa Rica. I've managed to breed old posters.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 28th, 2005 2:04 PM. (Ronan) (later)

-- geyser muffler and a quarter (right.knewi...), July 18th, 2005 10:37 AM.

Sorry for being logged out, but I'm very sensitive right now.

Thank goodness for anonymity!

-- Logged_Out. (no_reall...), August 28th, 2005.

"My brother was standing next to me outside Forbidden Planet repeating "we are nowhere and it's now" to himself without stopping for breath. grimly fiendish passed and gave us a funny look, then muttered something and walked off down Buchanan Street. My brother told me I to follow him and find out if he was "one in control".
I chased grimly down the street and he told me to leave him alone. I said "first you must tell me... When are you? Where are you? What are you doing and why? When are you? Where are you? What are you doing and why? When are you? Where are you? What are you doing and why?"

He replied "It's Monday at 6pm I'm walking down Buchanan Street, going home because my work is done." To which I said "Ah, but don't you see at least 1 in 20 say that and still carry bottled water? You are One In Control!"

He laughed and disappeared into the St Enoch underground station.

-- Onimo (gerry.wat...), August 23rd, 2005 6:47 AM."

Maybe I'm just giddy or something this morning, but that dream thread is the best eva! LOL so much that the cat keeps awakening at my laughing and giving me a dirty look and I am imagining that foto of a cat giving "the finger" - you ppl know the photo of which I speak, and this cat looks just like that cat.

THIS IS FROM THE NWS IN NEW ORLEANS..DEVESTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED...HURRICANE KATRINA...A MOST POWERFUL HURRICANE WITH UNPRECEDENTED STRENGTH...RIVALING THE INTENSITY OF HURRICANE CAMILLE IN 1969. MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS..PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL LEAVING MOST HOMES DAMAGED OR DESTROYED. THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BE NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAME LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE. HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT. AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS..PETS..AND LIVESTOCK WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK..POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS..AND MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS..THE VAST MAJORITY OF TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT TOTALLY DEFOLIATED..FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN, LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED..

-- stet (vmdnb900...), August 28th, 2005 3:46 PM.

[...]

URGENT ADVISORY +++
NOISE BOARD AESTHETIC INFILTRATES NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE

-- vahid (vfoz...), August 28th, 2005 4:14 PM.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...), August 27th, 2005. (later)

-- jimmy glass (electricsoun...), August 29th, 2005 4:11 PM. (electricsound) (later)

using a slow hand to produce that cream, jim?

-- kit brash (kitbras...), August 29th, 2005 5:59 PM. (kit brash) (later)

that, and the sunshine of your love, kit

-- jimmy glass (electricsoun...), August 29th, 2005 6:20 PM. (electricsound) (later)

YUCK.

-- Hotman Paris Almanac (ada...), August 29th, 2005 6:38 PM. (Autumn Almanac) (later)

yeah all this talk of clapton is a bit distasteful i'll admit

-- jimmy glass (electricsoun...), August 29th, 2005 6:51 PM. (electricsound) (later)

Contribute an answer

I don't need ilm because I already spent four years in college pretending that every problem in the universe boiled down to u.s. black/white relations

-- Banana Nutrament (straightu...), August 29th, 2005. (later)

-- Kim (grimstitc...) (webmail), August 28th, 2005. (link)

I will download it on Mr Teeny's classicist recommendation, but if it is teh suck then I will divide him into three parts.

-- Casuistry (chri...), August 29th, 2005 10:50 PM. (Chris Piuma)

-- Pvt. Dave Goes To Far (i...), August 29th, 2005 12:16 PM. (later)

vs

28 Pixies Velouria Jul 1990
27 Pixies Planet Of Sound Jun 1991
23 Pixies Debaser Oct 1997

-- jive session (kowalski9...), August 29th, 2005. (later)

"riding the Pitchfork up-alator" has had me crying for the past 5 minutes.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 30th, 2005.

Sing the theme to Moonraker. Go on, have a go. You can't, can you? No one can.

-- Michael Jones (tourajsig...), August 30th, 2005. (MichaelJ) (later)

Moonraker, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moonraker and me.

-- n/a (nu...), August 30th, 2005. (Nick A.) (later)

Hey Dan apparently i'm not 'deej' i'm 'dolt,' so can you PLEASE underline for me where this GIGANTIC LOGICAL FALLACY is?

that people were applauding because Rufus had decided to go back to his wife, not just because, it was an awards show and it was the END
OF THE SONG, like ethan suggested.

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), August 29th, 2005. (Matt Helgeson) (later) (admin) (userip)

you guys, can't we settle this christian-like

-- maura (maur...), August 29th, 2005. (maura) (later) (admin) (userip)

Where will we find lions at this time of night, Maura?

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), August 29th, 2005. (Dan Perry) (later) (admin) (userip)

But I don't think we would actually do that.

-- Yes, I have heard of pizza (adamr...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For one thing, it would make high school very difficult for the child.

-- Yes, I have heard of pizza (adamr...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyam Baby? Sounds like a good name!

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hymie Baby?

A good Jewish name

-- Yes, I have heard of pizza (adamr...) (webmail), August 30th, 2005. (link)

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), August 31st, 2005 2:16 AM. (later)

this made meall a giggley. i can't explain why, perhaps i'm concussed!

but seriously congratulations on your fancy new job. heard about that the other day.

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 31st, 2005.

haha

-- strng hlkngtn (wt...), August 31st, 2005.

i'm working on a big "HSTENCIL IS A COCK" cover story, don't worry

-- strng hlkngtn (wt...), August 31st, 2005.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 30th, 2005.
So has Michael Jackson. He won.

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), August 30th, 2005.
Yes but he didn't sexually abuse any children

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 30th, 2005.
TRUE

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), August 30th, 2005.