MORE LAUGHING OUT LOUD CIRCLE JERK TIME HOORAY.

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Because this made me laugh like a motherfucker for some reason:

This thread reminds me of Pearl Jam for some reason.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), January 21st, 2004.

Allyzay, Wednesday, 21 January 2004 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

how's columbia?

Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)


(Very Tentative) Rough Guide to New York City

Dizzy Gillespie: 52nd Street Theme
Bob Dylan: Talkin' New York
Babs Gonzalez: Dem Jive New York People
Serge Gainsbourg: New York USA
Stevie Wonder: Living for the City
Ben E. King: Spanish Harlem
Bob & Earl: Harlem Shuffle
Bobby Womack: Across 110th Street
John Coltrane: Central Park West
Charles Ives: Central Park in the Dark (NY Philharmonic, S. Ozawa)
Ramones: 53rd and Third
Rolling Stones: Shattered
NYC Traffic Dept.: Don't Cross in the Middle (PSA, mid-1960s)
Tom Waits: Union Square
Fugs: The Belle of Avenue A
Bowery Savings Bank: It Pays to Save at the Bowery (advertising jingle)
Sonny Rollins: East Broadway Rundown [edit]
Billie Holiday: I Cover the Waterfront
ImPlog: Holland Tunnel Dive
Ad Libs: The Boy from New York City
Tradewinds: New York's a Lonely Town
Odyssey: Native New Yorker
Pogues with Kirsty MacColl: Fairytale of New York
Dillinger: Cokane in My Brain
Ornette Coleman: Times Square

I didn't time it, and it probably runs over, but hey, the whole thing is at least a 5-CD set.

-- Murph the Surf (ano...), January 20th, 2004.
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I think there might have been a couple of hip-hop tracks that mention New York too - can anyone think of any?

-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), January 20th, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, lay off... that's a really good list.

aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

(but if i never hear "fairytale of new york" again it'll be too soon)

aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Because this made me laugh like a motherfucker for some reason:
This thread reminds me of Pearl Jam for some reason.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), January 21st, 2004.

CONTEXT!


donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:29 (twenty-two years ago)

It's the 'men talking about feminism c/d' thread.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I high-fived my wife last night upon her knitting a pair of mittens to completion.
-- Hurlothrumbo (rthache...), January 21st, 2004 12:16 PM. (hurlothrumbo)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally has an amazing gift for thread titles, and I verily salute her.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I can just picture Oscar Wilde visiting America today:

CUSTOMS INSPECTOR: Do you have anything to declare?

WILDE: I have nothing to declare but my genius!

CUSTOMS INSPECTOR: This genius you speak of… is it the evil sort that tyrannical dictators possess?

WILDE (amused): The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner has a future.

CUSTOMS INSPECTOR: Imprisonment with hard labour for you, Mr Smartass. Take ’im away, boys!

WILDE: Ugh… not again.

-- Charles Hatcher (musenhedd...), January 21st, 2004 10:35 AM.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

from the woman who said she had a bomb at airport security (several times) and was thrown in jail thread:

i think that there's a lesson here for aspiring comedians... if your joke "bombs" the first time, telling it twice more isn't going to salvage it.
-- gygax! (gygax0...), January 21st, 2004 1:04 PM. (gygax!)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 21:10 (twenty-two years ago)

No American customs inspector would say "labour".

Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 21:16 (twenty-two years ago)

they might in N'Olynns

Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I missed the bomb thread, what was it called?

Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

look for "cocksuckery"

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

and whistle three short blasts

Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

from the cocksuckery paranoia thread:

She probably expected that her joke would inevitably lead to a long chase involving a woman in a bikini and a man in a gorilla suit or whatever passes for humor in Britain.
-- dean! (dea...), January 21st, 2004 2:00 PM. (deangulberry) (later)

gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

These pictures are really mesmerizingly awful.

--nickalicious (nza2342...),January 21st,2004.

They're so awful and scary that they're just mesmerizing.

--El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...),January 21st,2004

omg, Wednesday, 21 January 2004 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Why did Anthony Keidis cross the road?
-- Neil Hamburger (americasfunnyma...), January 21st, 2004.

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Cuz his dick was stuck in the chicken's sock?
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), January 21st, 2004.

Same thread. For the record, I think Charles Hatcher is the name Momus uses when he has no facts to back up his outlandish comments.

dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Cunt off, Johnny.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), January 21st, 2004 3:04 PM. (Mark C)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

dude, yr like the white georgian 50 cent
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), June 23rd, 2003.

Allyzay, Wednesday, 21 January 2004 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Samantha Marson & America's Blatant Paranoia and Cocksuckery

In all its glory.

dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

martian perhaps you cd (provide) a list of the records that came out this year for marcello to choose from?
-- mark s (mar...), September 19th, 2002.


dan (dan), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

These pictures are really mesmerizingly awful.
--nickalicious (nza2342...),January 21st,2004.

They're so awful and scary that they're just mesmerizing.

--El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...),January 21st,2004

I didn't even noticed I typed almost the exact same thing nickalicious typed, the picture must have cause (further) brain damage.


El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

that metro news is worth every penny.
-- dyson (dysple...), January 21st, 2004

Kim (Kim), Thursday, 22 January 2004 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

It's lame, its a bit of a dasd joke, but it got me:


We live in hope.

-- Lynskey
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No, hang on we live in Ormskirk.

-- Lynskey

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 22 January 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

In the Sleater Kinney ILM thread:

I don't like this band.
-- Adm Michel (adamrtm@...)

------------------------------------------------------------

you're dead to us now
-- the surface noise (electricsound@...)

nickn (nickn), Thursday, 22 January 2004 00:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't even noticed I typed almost the exact same thing nickalicious type

Hm, which thread is that from?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 January 2004 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

The nickalicious/Nicole post reminds me of Pootie Tang.

Allyzay, Thursday, 22 January 2004 00:51 (twenty-two years ago)

You mean after ...AJFA.
TS: AJFA vs. AJA

"Blackened!"
"What?"

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 21st, 2004

Leee Majors (Leee), Thursday, 22 January 2004 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I practically had to change my pants after this....

http://www133.pair.com/iain/vault/house/images/hasselhoffanimated.gif

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 22 January 2004 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, that was a great episode!

dean! (deangulberry), Thursday, 22 January 2004 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

ORNALDO BLOOMPS FOR PRESIDETN

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He took down that elephant thing HARDCORE. DAMMMNNN.
-- DiMarceau Fishpower (webmaste...), January 22nd, 2004 2:23 PM.


*hysterics*

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 22 January 2004 03:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I like how if there was a policy against toplessness you'd still have jelly rubbed all over your tits but no one would know.
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), January 22nd, 2004.

Allyzay, Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Music to strip Dan Perry and Ned Raggett by...

Allyzay, Thursday, 22 January 2004 06:09 (twenty-two years ago)

How awesome would that be though if I could get pregnant and have wasps instead of a baby?

-- Allyzay (flyawaymybab...)

Al (sitcom), Thursday, 22 January 2004 07:29 (twenty-two years ago)

you will seriously regret it if you "try" anything with me, old chap.

Got it?

-- Phoebe Dinsmore (aros...), January 22nd, 2004

Stringent (Stringent), Thursday, 22 January 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Maude's death was THE jump-the-shark moment for the show.
Seriously using the phrase "jump the shark" was the jump-the-shark moment for you being cool.

-- NA (naamm...), January 22nd, 2004 1:58 PM. (Nick A.) (later)

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 22 January 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Not sure about Dizzee Rascal ...

At least the Marcello - Luke Heronbone exchange, which is just ridiculous.

Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 22 January 2004 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Listen dear, you're not the only one who's had an abusive ex. I'm going no further with that but if you think abuse is relegated only to men you're wrong.
-- C-Man (cma...), January 21st, 2004 10:10 AM. (link)


c-man was touched in his special place by nicky wire.
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 21st, 2004 10:14 AM. (link)

Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 22 January 2004 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

But Leeeee is correct re: the sub-electro track being the high point - more sub-standard housing for jealous lovers please!
-- David R. (ilxo...), January 22nd, 2004 11:27 AM.

aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 22 January 2004 20:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The best thing is that Luka posted his REAL ACTUAL ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER and therefore is probably genuinely spoiling for a fite. It makes all Calum's threats seem k-lame in comparison.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Studied more oratory? Maybe those of you who aren't busy chatting up a wee lass over an 'arf-point or three have time to learn long words like "oratory" - good luck to you, then! As for me & my many, many, many friends - so very many friends! - we are 24 hour party people through and through. We don't study oratory, we study the aviary, if you see my meaning!
Whatever will you do without the C-Man? Lucky for you-all you'll never, ever, ever get to find out!

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), January 22nd, 2004 7:40 PM. (later)


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(dude, you forgot to sign out!)
-- the river fleet (confuse...), January 22nd, 2004 7:41 PM. (later)


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Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i noticed, damn
-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), January 22nd, 2004 7:41 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I live in south-east london. I have walked around woolwich at 1 am after attending getting back from improv gigs in hackney!!! I'm harder than all of you.
-- Julio Desouza (juli...), January 22nd, 2004.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i'll take that bet!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

one more thing, (just to keep the tone as low as possible)
you think cos you got a house in hampstead and a book deal you're a big man? but how old are you?

-- ' (blungblun...), January 22nd, 2004 3:11 PM. (later)

This really is the most amusing of all the big childish fights there have ever been on ILX (with the possible exception of Dastoor vs Barry)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It was comedy gold all around.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

*searches archive for Dastoor vs Barry*

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I never saw that one, but the feud on the Dizzee thread was classic.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 22 January 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

ink for dastoor vs barry plz. (haha, who is the best old thread finder? dastoor!!)

That dizzee thread is ridiculous, but teh funney, I must admit.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 22 January 2004 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)


seriously, hands up who even knew sub pop was still putting out records? what is the point of this aside from biting the hand that feeds?
worst mid-size record label of the 90s?

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 22nd, 2004. (later)


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haha i had to put "mid-size" so matos wouldn't immediately pop in with "grand royal"
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 22nd, 2004. (later)


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between the Postal Service, the Shins, and Hot Hot Heat, a lot of people know they still exist
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), January 22nd, 2004. (later)


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Namely Colin Murray and Zane Lowe.
-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), January 22nd, 2004. (later)


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you're going to have to provide your own rimshot for that one, I'm afraid
-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), January 22nd, 2004. (later)

I GOT M3GA0WN3D2004! (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 22 January 2004 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I was just going to post that!

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 22 January 2004 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Dastoor vs Barry is more a case of long-term semi-jocular sniping back and forth, it's a bit like in the old days of Eastenders when you knew Pat and Peggy were going to trade handbags every few weeks. There's no actual thread I can direct you to, sadly.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

(N. - when I tease you, do you ever think I go over the top? I reckon we've remained pretty much okay, but I might be wrong)

-- Mark C at work (yadd...), December 12th, 2003 4:45 PM.

Barry, since you ask., what you do goes way beyond what I would understand as teasing, and tests the limits of my insensitivity to what people say about me on the internet. I certainly wouldn't care at all if didn't know you in real life. You seem to use view me as the archvillain behind all that you hate about ILE (sarcasm, points scoring etc.) It puzzles me a bit, but I know you're a blustery chap and rudeness is part of your charm so.. my insensitivity holds up. And the other day you said I had lovely balls again, so that's OK.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), December 12th, 2003 5:19 PM.

Nick, I'm really really sorry if I've upset you. I think you're ace (if occasionally a bit strange :)) and I'll stop pushing your boundaries.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), December 12th, 2003 11:57 PM.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, scratch that Eastenders comment, it's far more Frasier and Niles Crane.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 22 January 2004 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine disappears unless I stick my cursor down there.
-- @d@ml (nordi
cskilla@hotmail.com), January 22nd, 2004

dean! (deangulberry), Thursday, 22 January 2004 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never heard this song and I want to download it. What does it mean when soulseek returns "big boi - hey ya.mp3" and "andre3000 - hey ya.mp3"? I am also openly racist.

-- Adm Michel (adamrt...), January 22nd, 2004. (later) (link)

WTF??????????? (Dan Perry), Friday, 23 January 2004 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't know Tourette's could manifest itself through typing.

oops (Oops), Friday, 23 January 2004 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Reading about sperm count from a guy named after a vacuum cleaner is creating a mental image I'd really rather not have right now :)
-- C J

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 23 January 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi there! I'm looking for a decent scanner / printer / photocopier.
-- June Hobbs (minia...), January 22nd, 2004 4:02 AM.


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Ooh ooh! Pick me!
-- Canon XJ-5600 (X...), January 22nd, 2004 4:06 AM. (Oops)


I dont know why, but this actually made me lose my shit. I think visualising a talking scanner did it.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 23 January 2004 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I think visualising a talking scanner did it.

So I assume you've never met Robin Rimbaud, have you?

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 23 January 2004 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

The Rough Guide to Jess

-- Spencer Chow

oops (Oops), Friday, 23 January 2004 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Do u see the wind. No u cant but u can feel the wind

Prince, stop hanging around on the Internet and release a knock-your-sox-off album that blows everyone away.

-- Ned Raggett (ned...ci.org), January 23rd, 2004 1:34 AM. (Ned) (later)


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Why do u mock me? is it because u have no idea wat u r talking about. Ur here trying to argue a point which u rnt cause ur mocking my religion have i once mocked atheism no i havent i respect peoples beliefs i dont go to religions and make fun of them i try and understand how and why they believe something.
-- B. Robinson (guitar...@mchsi.com), January 23rd, 2004 1:43 AM. (later)

I feel bad for finding this funny

Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Friday, 23 January 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

haha well jim, i mean i did live in the same town as her for two years, and know people who know her, etc.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 23rd, 2004. (later)

it's not as if i was sitting outside her bedroom window at night jerking off.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 23rd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

what's a belief system? why is the word 'system' in there?

-- Julio Desouza (juli...), October 30th, 2002.


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sorry we meant muffin
-- mark s (mar...), October 30th, 2002.

Allyzay, Friday, 23 January 2004 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Time becomes meaningless after a while here.
-- Matt (Mat...) (webmail), January 23rd, 2004 7:19 PM. (Matt) (later) (link)


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I think I once spent an entire November refreshing new answers and swigging from a bottle of single malt.
-- Matt (Mat...) (webmail), January 23rd, 2004 7:20 PM. (Matt) (later) (link)

JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 23 January 2004 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Something something something something something LISTEN TO THE COLORS OF THE WIND.
-- Pocahontas (allyza...)

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 23 January 2004 05:17 (twenty-two years ago)

wm h is a thug before his time man just like that nigga pac man always hated never overrated!!
-- ethan

--------------------

Pac-Man was, indeed, before his time.
-- matthew m.

----------------------------

just like that nigga pac-man!!
-- ethan

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 23 January 2004 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

that might be my favorite ilx exchange of all time

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 23 January 2004 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

$$$$$$$$$: haha i shd find out the number one song when i got stabbed in the dick
$$$$$$$$$: it was april probably?? my memory is for shit
$$$$$$$$$: wait, the number one was the diplomats album right?? IN BIZARRO WORLD
Hotel Opera: haha
$$$$$$$$$: ME AM HAVING WHOLE BIZARRO WORLD WEARING PINK
$$$$$$$$$: ME AM SO HAPPY ME GOING TO CRY
$$$$$$$$$: ME NOT HIT WOMEN!
$$$$$$$$$: NOT DO SONG WITH MA$E
$$$$$$$$$: AND SILKK THE SHOCKER
$$$$$$$$$: NOT HIM EITHER
$$$$$$$$$: ME SAMPLE STING? NO
$$$$$$$$$: ME STREET TEAM CALLED 'DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY'
$$$$$$$$$: ME HAVE MODERATE HIT WITH SONG 'OH GIRL'
$$$$$$$$$: AND FOLLOWUP 'BYE MA'
$$$$$$$$$: ME AM BEST RAPPER ON ROC
$$$$$$$$$: ONLY RAPPER ON ROC BETTER THAN ME IS AMIL
$$$$$$$$$: shall i continue
Hotel Opera: i was really just going to let you keep going forever
$$$$$$$$$: haha i wouldve
Hotel Opera: you should do artist bios for bizarroworldallmusic.com
Hotel Opera: i'm seriously still cracking up over "ME SAMPLE STING? NO"
Hotel Opera: Bizarro Cam'ron's protege would be Carlos Santana
Hotel Opera: ME TEACH HIM TO PLAY GUITAR VERY WELL 40 YEARS AGO
$$$$$$$$$: ME PAY $500,000 FOR RIGHTS TO HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS - BACK IN TIME
$$$$$$$$$: LOOP THAT SHIT UP
$$$$$$$$$: CAMRON URGE YOU TO SAVE HILL VALLEY CLOCK TOWER
$$$$$$$$$: ME TAKE SPORTS ALMANAC BACK TO 95 AND BET ON LEBRON JAMES
$$$$$$$$$: ME GET BEAT UP BY LEBRONS DAD FOR TRYING TO TALK TO HIM
Hotel Opera: sports, drugs and entertainment, indeed
$$$$$$$$$: ME NOT LIVE IN TALL GAUDY BUILDING WITH STAR OF CAROLINE IN THE CITY WEARING FAKE CHEST
$$$$$$$$$: ROADS? WHERE ME GOING, ME NO NEED... ROADS
Hotel Opera: ME NEED 1.21 GIGAWATTS
$$$$$$$$$: YEAH ME HIT IT, WHY YOU ASK? WHAT??? ME OWN MOTHER?????
$$$$$$$$$: CHUCK THIS BE YOUR COUSIN, CAMRON... YOU KNOW, CAMRON BERRY?? YOU KNOW NEW SOUND YOU LOOK FOR?? LISTEN THIS!!
$$$$$$$$$: OH NO!! MANURE!!!
$$$$$$$$$: ME GET FLYING SKATEBOARD... PINK OF COURSE
$$$$$$$$$: JUELZ NOT NEED PINK... HE HAS 'BULLDOG'
Hotel Opera: ME HATE TO BE CALLED CHICKEN
$$$$$$$$$: ME PLAY ARCADE GAMES WITH HANDS IN RETRO CAFE
$$$$$$$$$: CHILD WITH TRANSLUCENT PLASTIC HAT QUESTION ME APITUDE AT SUCH
-- fuck all yall

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 23 January 2004 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

haha!

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 23 January 2004 07:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm being seconded to another office 2.5 days a week, so we'll need to get a temp in for one or two days a week. i'm worried that if we get a real temp in, then they might let on that there really isn't enough work to justify having them. someone from ilx is obviously more than capable of looking busy doing nothing.

-- colette (a2lett...), January 23rd, 2004 3:19 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh God, Simon, you know, I can't believe I'm here, I really can't. This is just my dream. You've got to pick me, you just have, I've wanted this for ever..."
*pouts*

[screaches like dying cat] "I'm special/ so speciaaaal/ I want to have some of your attention [points]/ give it to me [deeply shameful come-hither movement]

-- Anna (Fieldingann...), January 23rd, 2004 10:09 AM. (Anna) (later)

Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

luncho breakington

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), January 23rd, 2004.

Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Chuck Eddy on Martin Popoff:

...He
absolutely writes like he'd be a very fun guy to quiff pints with.

-- chuck (cedd...), January 23rd, 2004. (later)

(or quaff pants with, for that matter.) (hey, i'm not british or even canadian, so what the hell do i know -- i still don't understand what these "punters"
martin's always talking about are. why would their tastes be any different than those of place kickers, anyway??) (espeically now that none of the place
kickers are soccer style guys from crete with stumps for feet and steel-toed shoes?)

-- chuck (cedd...), January 23rd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

From Gear!'s new Craig's List experiment: men submitting haikus in hopes of random sex (so it was actually originally written by a random Craig's Lister)...

Lick your salty flaps,
Stroke your crusty anal beard,
Empty my balls there.

Gag on your pant beard,
Swallow my dirty rectal slurry,
You know you want to.

Milk my kinky prostate,
To the knuckle with no lube,
Watch me spunk your ear.

My gaping red hole,
Let me anal squirt your tits,
The bent dog watches.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

holy shit

oops (Oops), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

emo chicks are sooooooo easy though. especially the crazy ones.
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 23rd, 2004 1:15 PM. (dubplatestyle)


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i mean, you have to weigh 45 lbs and have no soul, of course.
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 23rd, 2004 1:15 PM. (dubplatestyle)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

and the addendum:

I weight 180lbs and have no soul. Does that mean I get four of 'em?
-- Llahtuos Kcin (auspiciousfis...), January 23rd, 2004 4:17 PM. (Nick Southall)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Nothing attracts teenage ska fatties like a plaid Snickers.
-- dean! (dea...), January 23rd, 2004 4:27 PM. (deangulberry)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

What thread are the emo girl ones from?

(I feel so stupid when do this on these threads)

Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

xxx emo girls inside!

Jon Williams (ex machina), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Deeply wrong and yet:

If I fall asleep tonight before I've managed a solo orgasm then I know god doens't exist.

-- Llahtuos Kcin (auspiciousfis...), January 23rd, 2004. (later)

Ray Charles is God.

-- Elvis Telecom (cthulhusave...), January 23rd, 2004. (later)

Only if he helps me cum.

-- Llahtuos Kcin (auspiciousfis...), January 23rd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

They later tore the building down and I wondered if some lucky demolition guy got a little free Priest.

Thank you, my head just moved in squelchy directions.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 23rd, 2004.

From ILM

webcrack (music=crack), Friday, 23 January 2004 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

no laughing, no circle jerking, just a particularly great alex in nyc post:

Hi, I'm Alex in NYC...and YOU'RE WRONG, YOU FATUOUS CHEESE-MONKEY! I enjoy: KILLING JOKE, fondue, beer and arguments. I suffer from: benign positional vertigo, tinnitus, heart-burn and several food allergies. I work in the significantly less-than-lucrative field of journalism and will be a father in about three months time. My favorite films, if you were to ask me right now, are "Blow-Up" and "After Hours". Despite being 36, only just today (1/23/04) did I acquire a learner's permit to drive a car. I love the taste of mozzarella cheese with tomato and basil (caprese) but abjectly loathe ham and salmon. I think people who recline their seat back on airplanes without first asking for the consent of the passenger seated behind them should be shot in the kneecaps with a sawed-off shotgun at point blank range. I think there's a special place in Hell for the guy who invented the car alarm, and I think people need to learn to be a bit more considerate with umbrellas and cell phones.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), January 24th, 2004 7:00 PM.

aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 24 January 2004 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

brooks i agree with you that the ressurection is the most powerful advert for christianity. that's how (were told) the apostles were able to convert so many, by telling people 'i saw a dead man walk, he was killed and reborn'
-- pete s (petesesnai...), January 23rd, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Also, free cupcakes and punch!"
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 23rd, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 24 January 2004 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

at least I have boobies.
--teeny(teen...), January 24th, 2004

girl-boobies, even
--teeny(teen...), January 24th, 2004

pete s, Saturday, 24 January 2004 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom Scholz had to emergency land his plane in Lexington a couple of weeks ago. Appearantly the engine cut out for about twenty minutes, so he glided it in until he could get it running again shortly before landing.
Nah, he just had to Cool the Engines.....

-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), January 23rd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it would be funny if he had to emergency-land the Boston skyline that's on all of their album covers.
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), January 23rd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He eventually reached His Destination.
-- Broheems (electrifyingmoj...), January 23rd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or emergency land a flying guitar spaceship. and all the people in the city would think its an alien landing and play a couple of notes of smokin on a giant light to signal that we are friendly.
-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), January 23rd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never saw a picture of his plane, it just might be something like that. Scholz is one of those MIT brainy types.

-- earlnash (stereo99_9...), January 23rd, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 24 January 2004 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)


Chocolate mice made of chocolate mousse in Astoria

[picture]

-- Elvis Telecom (chri...), January 7th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those things are so creepy! I'd eat ten of them.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 7th, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 24 January 2004 07:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, I recently shaved my head to find it covered in nasty rash / acne, had to use that ol' stripper's trick and Witch Hazel the shit out of it just to reduce the redness. Awesome.
-- roger_adultry

I had a nightmare once about rash/acne/fungus shaped like cactus growing out of my head. You sir are living the dream.

-- Ian Johnson

nickn (nickn), Saturday, 24 January 2004 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

On the ILX lingo in the workplace thread:

File the voibe.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), January 23rd, 2004 5:08 AM. (Ronan)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that is the most depressing post I've ever made
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), January 23rd, 2004 5:08 AM. (Ronan)


Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 24 January 2004 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

from the how to chat up your dentist thread ( ), we have this:

"Seeing as I'm keeping it open for the next few minutes, would you like to put your dick in it?"

-- Llahtuos Kcin , January 23rd, 2004.

and this:


"This nitrous just makes me feel so free!! (Giggle.) Gosh, I don't think there's anything I wouldn't do right now, with whomever!!"

(Giggle and stroke thigh. Sigh coquettishly and unbutton pants.)

-- andy , January 23rd, 2004.

DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 24 January 2004 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Today 3 out of 8 people in my training course failed to meet the government's requirements for the project I'm a part of. The two of us who bent the curve out of everyone else's favor were both hired as bottom-feeders because of our lack of experience. You can bet there will be egg on someone's face come Monday and I would really hate to be him right about 72 hours from now or less, depending on when the project manager gets up and checks his office email.

It just goes to show that it's hard, even impossible, to judge a person's worth from a resume and a 30-minute interview. Whoops, internationally accepted hiring practices again. You'd think government contractors would work differently, but no, frankly, nobody does. In this case, and in mine, shit trickles.

-- TOMBOT (fuckupatmanagemen...), January 24th, 2004. (later)

wow! They are turning you into the billion dollar man aren't they?

-- jel -- (freeduni...), January 24th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 24 January 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Orlando Bloom : POTC :: Cristian Bale : Reign Of Fire
Johnny Depp : POTC :: Matthew McConaughey : Reign Of Fire

same old story really

-- Millar (tmilla...), July 22nd, 2003.

Except Johnny Depp is a lot cooler than Matthew McConaughey, I hate that bastard.

-- Ally (mlescau...), July 22nd, 2003.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 24 January 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)


Buncha damn youngsters. Surrender me your youth so I may remain preserved and beautiful.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 12th, 2002.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ew, Ned. Stop trying to eat the young folk.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), April 12th, 2002.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 24 January 2004 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)


i just got this cool goth metal cd which comes with a poster that you lay flat and then you stand the cd up to make a box(kinda like the vinyl of paul's boutique with the street scene) and put it over the poster and it makes a little house and in the muddle of the poster is a dead body that you can look down on like you are god. it's cool.

-- scott seward (skotro...), January 23rd, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 24 January 2004 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

For the record, I think Charles Hatcher is the name Momus uses when he has no facts to back up his outlandish comments.

I've been waiting all my life for someone to call me 'outlandish'! Thank you, Dean!

Charles Ha-- er, I mean Momus (Momus), Saturday, 24 January 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

do you have oil? you could maked a fried bread curry. Or if it's olive oil you could have curried bruschetta.
-- teeny (

--------------------------------

I have some corn oil.
-- Jon Williams

-----------------

yes then, fry the bread in a skillet with a bit of oil, sprinkle curry powder on, yum.
-- teeny


--------------------------------

I'll do it!
-- Jon Williams

-----------------------------

yay!
-- teeny

-----------------------------

Well?
-- Llahtuos Kcin

----------------

unwell.
-- cozen

------------------------

Possibly violently.
-- Llahtuos Kcin

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

From the Old Testament-sized "Dave Matthews" thread:

No no no it's like the end of Akira; soon enough the Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated. thread will become huge and tumescent and consume us all in rapturous agony, ILX will be subsumed into one giant Dave Matthews flap and all known life will cease.
-- Llahtuos Kcin

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

All this corruption and evil in the news is making me depressed...hold me Ned!
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), January 24th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As if that isn't only more corruption.
-- bnw (rilke...), January 24th, 2004.

Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow I knew someone would post that. In the meantime, this:

What exactly is the best comedy show ever?

-- Rosie (rosierosterma...), January 24th, 2004. (later)

It sure as hell isn't Everybody Loves Raymond.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 24th, 2004. (later)

HAHAHAHA DIE NOW, HUMANITY, FOR YOU HAVE REACHED THE PINNACLE THAT IS "Everybody Loves Raymond"!

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 24th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

| Settings | Logout

I heard Bowie's "Heroes" yesterday and it occured to me that I've never figured out what it's about. I know about Bowie's Berlin period and his inspirations for the song, but I can't pin down my "take" on it. Is it a song about hope? Are acts of "heroism" the most noble of actions, or are they just needlessly reckless??

Any other such songs?

-- Barry Bruner (brune...), January 24th, 2004 5:36 PM. (Barry Bruner) (later)


Answers

"Heroes" is about sandwiches.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), January 24th, 2004 5:39 PM. (vassifer) (later)

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 24 January 2004 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It scans.

I gather the song was actually inspired by Bowie spying a young couple having a romantic rendezvous at the Berlin Wall.
I! I can remember! (I remeeember) watching! kids fuck by a wall! (by the wall)

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), January 24th, 2004 10:55 PM

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Saturday, 24 January 2004 23:50 (twenty-two years ago)

It's "Officer Krupke" hence the hilarious punchline "Gee, Officer Krupke - Krup you!" oh my sides. I love how Krupke feels powerless in the face of these clever lyrics, like "If only I had some way to stop the incessant mockery of these 30-year-old juvenile delinquents"
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), May 28th, 2002.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 25 January 2004 01:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I hear the Jeremy Scott edition Foreigner t shirt is a must-have fashion item for the ironic art fag.
Ye gods, isn't this whole rock t-shirt trend passe yet? I admit Missy looked pretty cool in the Motorhead get-up, but other than that...

-- Nicole (nicolew1...), June 8th, 2001 5:00 PM. (link)


note the date!! (also first quote is from momus!!)

teeny (teeny), Sunday, 25 January 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Shania was just waiting to get warmed up for Alex's wrath.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 25 January 2004 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Why are indie rock guys all so neurotic? It's cause they're constantly shown images that reinforce the masculine ideal as assless and with a flowing head of hair. The image of a BOY not a MAN!!! I mean, sure, that's unfair and destroys your fragile little egos and self images, but you know what? ASSLESS GUYS WITH NO TESTOSTERONE AND LOADS OF GIRLY-BOY HAIR ARE SO FRIGGING HOT!!!

-- the river fleet (confuse...), January 25th, 2004. (later)

OK, I feel a bit ill. Maybe it's time to lay off the maple syrup.

This is what happens when I don't have sex for prolonged periods. Can someone put some in a box and mail it to me, please?

-- the river fleet (confuse...), January 25th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 25 January 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Ohmigod, I've never made the CIRCLE JERK before. I would feel proud if I didn't feel so ill. I think I'm going to take the dog for a walk and get some fresh air.

the river fleet, Sunday, 25 January 2004 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"Blue Man Group: best group ever"
-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), January 25th, 2004.

Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 January 2004 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

jeans ...so.. tight... can't reach... punctuation keys
-- Kim (grimstitc...), January 24th, 2004 6:18 PM. (Kim)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 25 January 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

French toast is my crack cocaine. Deep-fried French toast is my crack-cocaine-and-leggy-hookers.

-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), January 25th, 2004 11:04 PM. (Jeanne Fury)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 25 January 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I ain't got shit to say/post right now. I'm just reading and losing my shit repeatedly. Y'all's was funny while I was away.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 25 January 2004 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

ricky, give up. terrorists have one. infiltrated schools. teaching youth. seducing women. become everything we ever hated. settlement destroyed. picking up stakes and moving west. always west.
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), November 18th, 2002.

Ian Johnson (orion), Sunday, 25 January 2004 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

haha i dont even remember saying that

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 25 January 2004 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

it was on some fucking thread about elephant six or something. total non-sequitor.

Ian Johnson (orion), Sunday, 25 January 2004 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The Doe Eyed Lass thread has becoming shit-losing material in the last twenty posts or so

Ferrrrrrg (Ferg), Monday, 26 January 2004 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you know that "Siouxsie" is an anagram for "xiso usei"? Which aren't actually real words, but look really neat?
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 26th, 2004. (Dan Perry)

Broheems (diamond), Monday, 26 January 2004 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

wait, so the fact that i go to bed alone at night and sometimes go for a couple days without holding any real conversations with people in person means i'm NOT alone?
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), January 26th, 2004 8:41 PM.

aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 26 January 2004 01:42 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope my eventual suicide makes a future LOL thread.

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 26 January 2004 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

i'll personally see to it.

the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 26 January 2004 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Depends how funny it is.

omg, Monday, 26 January 2004 01:47 (twenty-two years ago)

something like this might work:
http://gallery.azburners.org/albums/radioelectra/dead_clown.jpg
ha haa haaaaa, clowns crack me up.

dyson (dyson), Monday, 26 January 2004 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)


yeah but the video looks like it was filmed with one of those fisher price cameras you had to plug directly to the vcr

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), June 11th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

that's called "british TV" jess

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), June 11th, 2003.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

*slow claps*

-- stevem (bluesk...), June 11th, 2003.

Al (sitcom), Monday, 26 January 2004 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm getting old, is my explanation. Same as with GMTV presenters - whereas my reaction to, say, Jenni Falconer is "fuck off and die," my reaction to, say, Penny Smith is more in the region of "mmm, *this section has been censored in the interests of taste and decency* and that's just with your Doc Martens."
-- Phoebe Dinsmore (aros...), January 26th, 2004 3:09 PM.

It was the Doc Martens bit that did it. Hand over mouth.

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Monday, 26 January 2004 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

So when is Stevem going to eBay his hair, anyway?

"the river fleet"

MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 26 January 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Also from the 'student to auction virginity' thread:

Those hymens are a bastard to get off your knob.

-- Dave B (dave.boyl...)


Thank you for that Dave.

-- Pashmina (pashmin...)

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Perversion made easy:

"I fully support Rosie just as long as she`s safe. I won`t be there in the room when it happens, but I`ll be nearby.'

I'll bet he is. Linked by a CCTV camera and hidden mic. I've read about those pervertalists. Shocking.

-- Dave B (dave.boyl...) (webmail), January 26th, 2004. (later)

Wondered where my mic went!

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

WTF? This thread needed pics sooo bad it's not funny.
-- C-Man (cma...), January 26th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're so right.
-- Lynskey (pau...), January 26th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry didn't read the bit about pics.
-- Lynskey (pau...), January 26th, 2004. (later)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

My last post was a chow-chow attack!

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), January 26th, 2004.

Allyzay, Monday, 26 January 2004 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Bloody thing must be broken. I swear this is what it calculated:
Your life expectancy is -3.2 years

So I died just over 3 years ago! I must be a ghost! Wicked.

-- Rob Bolton (i_like_my_vesp...), January 26th, 2004.

OOPS! I fogot to click the male/female button. I guess that means trannies have negative life expectancies! 80.8.
-- Rob Bolton (i_like_my_vesp...), January 26th, 2004.

Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 26 January 2004 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

This ENDLESS FREAKING COLD that you Americans call "weather"? Do something about it, STAT! I never thought I'd say that I couldn't wait to get back to England cause the weather was better.

-- the river fleet (confuse...), January 26th, 2004 4:33 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Come out to the Golden State... we're just laying underneath avocado trees, sipping beer, swatting flies and peeling tangelos, with naked cherubic boys feeding us grapes poolside.
-- andy (and...), January 26th, 2004 4:37 PM.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 26 January 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Lick lick lick lick lick
Thrust thrust thrust lick lick thrust thrust
Lick lick thrust thrust BANG!

the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)


What the hell's wrong with someone over 25 listening to the Wonder Stuff, Ott, you cabbage handler!!!
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), January 26th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Same thing as someone under 25 listening to them.
-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), January 26th, 2004.

(note: I agree with Alex, but Tom's response was KFUNNY)

donut bitch (donut), Monday, 26 January 2004 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

People who make "negative" lists are pathetic. Good music writers write about the music they like and ignore the music they do not like.

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), January 26th, 2004 10:50 PM. (later)

Andrew L (Andrew L), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't read that. It's liek it's typed in some alien font.

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

woo! the ironing is k-delicious

gorsh, Monday, 26 January 2004 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

How'd you find out about my swinging? I'll have to kill you now!

-- roger ebert (rogerbigpeni...), January 25th, 2004

Leee Majors (Leee), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:41 (twenty-two years ago)

who the fuck is alizee?

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

you know it's funny but I naturally assume everyone from new zealand is an adult (this is patently false)

-- Josh (kortbei...), May 13th, 2002.

Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Shouldn't that be...."If you want respect, you've got to EARN It" ??

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), January 27th, 2004. (later)

anyone moronic to think that should have their pancreas pierced with a hundred plastic toothpicks

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), January 27th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Borger Kang sounds like a black metal band
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), August 29th, 2003.

Aaron A., Tuesday, 27 January 2004 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Two oldies from the 'Silence! - The Musical' thread:

OH GOD I WAS BORN TO PLAY BUFFALO BILL

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), May 23rd, 2003.

Play the hand you're dealt, as they say

-- Millar (tmilla...), May 24th, 2003.

---

This has inspired me to start work on that Hellraiser musical.

-- Lynskey (pau...), May 24th, 2003.

Based on the Sweet?

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), May 24th, 2003.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been sent masses of really weird sweets: swizzle skulls with red jelly oozing through the eyes; candy earwax in a plastic ear with a plastic cotton bud to use as a dipper; light up lollypops; pens that squirt flavoured juice and more.
I shall bring many samples to the pub.

-- Anna (...com), January 27th, 2004 2:30 PM. (Anna) (later)


wow you must've felt like a kid in some kind of store
-- stevem (...com), January 27th, 2004 2:30 PM. (blueski) (later)

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh screw the Other, I'm famous now!

-- Momus (nic...), January 26th, 2004. (later)

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey dude! I to do not like pop idol, i think it is shite. I was wondering if you would right me a standard grade credit level, discurive essay on whether or not shows such as pop idol are right. The essay must have arguments from both sides and should be about 2 and a half A4 pages long. Also my friend would like to post an idea for Big Brother where the 12 contestants are placed in a dark, damp room. The only objects in the room shall be a hammer, a bag of raw meat and some matches, the winner shall be the last one living, the prize shall be the opportunity to live. He/she will only be able to live if he/she answers a question correctly, but that's just my friend. I however would very much apricate it if you would send me that essay to the above address, if it isnt there, it is : raging_rodent.... Thank you very much. Yours faithfully, stu.
-- Stuart Moncrieff (raging_rodent...), January 27th, 2004.


just all of it! the whole thing had me roffling all down myself.

Slump Man (Slump Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

You have to admire Gallo's dedication to his principles. It takes a certain amount of egolessness to stand up and say that too much money goes to the developmentally disabled when you yourself are completely fucking retarded.

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), January 27th, 2004. (link)

maura (maura), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Ever noticed how Americans only find other Americans funny? I blame Seinfeld.

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Funnily enough, I'm an American and I don't find Seinfeld funny.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

heretic!

oh wait that's a compliment to you right?

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm an American and based solely on what I've ctrl+c'd to this thread I find Canucks and Brits well funny also. I like Seinfeld. And Kids In the Hall. And Monty Python.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Me and my girlfriend used to take pills all the time. It's a lot of fun once you get past the whole brain damage thing, though with just two people it get can kind of intense (also I don't think I'd do it now, the unexplored neurological effects sketch me out). Like the time that we were all, erm, occupied with each other but also rolling extremely hard and I said, in the heat of passion, "You did produce all those Galaxie 500 records." Bizarre and embarrassing. NB My girlfriend is emphatically not Kramer.

-- adam (hexenductio...), February 22nd, 2003 2:04 PM.

N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

That is classic.

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry I forgot to italicize the 'did', as in the original.

N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Look, I think she's luvverly yum, but just not at the Golden Globes.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), January 27th, 2004. (later)

That probably makes me an indie fuck.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), January 27th, 2004. (later)

Well duh.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), January 27th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm glad that i'm still a troll. why ... who else would I be on ilx? the thought is bewildering??? i'd rather be a monster here and maintain lifethought than bored and boring.
anyways.

'nuff said. sigh. troll = if you annoyed a group of posters with streams of thought OR being arseholish you are thus labelled a troll. media tags are good.

i could say - 'Why look at the sky today - isnt it beautiful'. someone would say 'why yes doomie i think the sky is beautiful - like a big ocean one could deep yer feet into'. on ilx it would be: WHY DON'T YOU FUCK OFF YOU DUMB TROLL I REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID THREE YEARS AGOO YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE FUCK FUCK FUCK CUNT YER BORING 'TROLL'. CUNTING TROLL. WHY DON'T YOU FUCK OFF AND DIE.

i come onto ilx occassionally to remind myself of why i am a misanthrope. and suzy - wrong call ... but wtf? who cares?

-- doomies (hhah...), January 27th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i guess i'm fated to be a monster. its kind of fun. BOO!
i blame pashimina. he keeps me around here. YOU MUST KILL THE TROLL KEEPER. I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES. I SAW A YELLOW BIRD ON HIS SHOULDER AND IT SPEAKS THE WORDS OF THE DEVIL TO HIM.

(sufjan stevens new one and oneida are my new GODZ...)

-- doomies (haha...), January 27th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A timely reminder of the dangers of syphillis, dear friends.
-- Momus (nic...), January 27th, 2004. )

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought the same there.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

That kitten in Enter the Dragon freaks me out. What the fuck? Is it supposed to be God observing the battle of good and evil through the eyes of his cutest minion?
-- NA (naamm...), January 27th, 2004.

"cutest minion"

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought the same there.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 27th, 2004.


me too! in fact i noticed you didnt clip my one ha ha ha! sigh SIGH! POEPLE GET IT TOGETHER!

doomiese, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Corny older guy came into work today and said he was sick of people saying "cold enough for you."
Then I said "complaining about people saying 'cold enough for you' is the new 'cold enough for you'" and that shut his smug trap shut.
-- Huck Everlasting (handsomishbo...), January 27th, 2004 11:37 AM.

aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

...clip my one?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

on the cliches you've overheard thread on ilm:

Talking to my weed dealer (hence monosyllables), who's also a lawyer...
WD: I remember punk! All this energy off the streets! Working-class energy!
DQ: Mm-hmm...
WD: It was raw, street-level!
DQ: Raw?
WD: Yeah, they couldn't play slick, sophisticated crap, just good, basic stuff!
DQ: Good?
WD: (pauses)...It was NECESSARY!!!
-- dave q (scrape10...), January 27th, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Not taking responsibility for one's own life, giving up and blaming others, is one of if not the biggest problem area of modern society.

so, have you written to the Palm County, FL DA to insure that Rush Limbaugh gets charged and indicted?

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...) (webmail), January 27th, 2004. (llamasfur)

Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

From the Internet Stalker thread:

What the fuck is a 'headjob'? Handjob I understand. Blowjob I understand. Is she gonna stick her head in your ass?!

-- Llahtuos Kcin (auspiciousfis...) (webmail), January 27th, 2004. (Nick Southall)

[later]

blowjobs have more to do with the head than blowing, no?

-- Jon Williams (william...) (webmail), January 27th, 2004. (ex machina)

No, it's all about the blowing.

-- N. (nickdastoo...) (webmail), January 27th, 2004. (nickdastoor)

a certain fellatio

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...) (webmail), January 27th, 2004. (electricsound)

Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Ever noticed how Americans only find other Americans funny? I blame Seinfeld.

Certainly not. Ally's the only person who seems to find me remotely amusing.

Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:22 (twenty-two years ago)

ever notice how noone ever notices what mark c. notices?

cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

i didn't notice

the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

What?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

he means "clip my one"

the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i am not hip enough to comprehend this.

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the etymology of "clip my one" was explained in a Matlock episode.

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

curtis otm

cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

"sigh"

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe it's the wine, but:

down by the seaside is calgon-take-me-away beautiful!!!!
-- M@tt He1geson

and all the Zep love/hate preceding and following on the ILM fave bands w/ no great LP thread.

nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 04:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Do FAT people feel sorry for YOU?


Do they?

-- ChowChow (Cho...), January 27th, 2004.

Answers

that is not me, btw.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), January 27th, 2004.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

He engaged in a homosexual act? What, he matched his belt with his shoes?
Seriously, though, which homosexual act? There's quite a lot of them!

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), January 28th, 2004 2:10 PM. (epicharmus)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first act of the "The Importance of Being Earnest"
-- NA (naamm...), January 28th, 2004 2:11 PM. (Nick A.)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Blount, I believe you have your own thread to take the piss out of me.

Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

on which to take the piss out of me, I mean.

Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:35 (twenty-two years ago)

In a lot of ways Tony Blair is like my yo-yo that glowed in the dark.
What makes him special, makes him dangerous.
-- Pete (pb1...), January 28th, 2004.

Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Blount, I believe you have your own thread to take the piss out of me.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), January 28th, 2004. (later)
on which to take the piss out of me, I mean.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), January 28th, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

'Made with authentic Yoda peat'
-- Ned Raggett

it's the word "peat" in proximity to "yoda" i think

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I always find it weird when someone I've heard of or whatever in non-ILX context pops up here. Like Marisa Tomei on the http://ilx.wh3rd.net/random.php?board=1 thread
-- Huck Everlasting (handsomishbo...), January 27th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dude, that's the random thread generator. Which thread was it?
-- Kim (grimstitc...), January 27th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I think Huck was saying that Marisa Tomei is on every thread in spirit.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), January 27th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

ie. he beats off to pictures of marisa tomei when he posts on ilx
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), January 27th, 2004.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you not checked that feature on the settings page? It was Graham's last gift to ILE.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), January 27th, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

the dangers of being a smart ass to rdm gglers

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

smoking is a stigma because it smells horrible, bothers people's breathing, makes their clothes stink, and is horribly selfish to those who might care about you and don't want to see you die of lung cancer. and I say this as an ex-smoker. I don't usually get sanctimonious about it though.
-- anthony kyle monday (akmonda...), January 28th, 2004 1:16 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie sued over panned 2002 remake of Swept Away
LOS ANGELES (AP) — A lawsuit alleging that Madonna and her husband, director Guy Ritchie, stole the idea for the 2002 film remake of Swept
Away will go to court May 4.
In the lawsuit, Vincent D’Onofrio, self-described singer, songwriter, director and actor, alleges Madonna and Ritchie took his idea for a remake of the
1975 Italian comedy and then cut him out of the credits and compensation.
D’Onofrio is not the actor of the same name who plays Det. Bobby Goren on NBC’s Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
The movie, which bombed at the box office and was panned by critics, was directed by Ritchie and starred Madonna as a wealthy woman stranded on
a desert island with a sailor.
D’Onofrio sued Madonna, Ritchie and Sony Pictures in Superior Court in October 2002, claiming he pitched the idea to Madonna in April 1997 and
had several meetings with her and Ritchie.
Lawyers for the couple have said D’Onofrio has no proof of a contract with Madonna or Sony. D’Onofrio’s lawyer said he would seek $10 million in
damages.

-- Huck Me Gently (handsomishbo...), January 28th, 2004. (later)

"Hey that shitty idea was mine!"

-- anthony kyle monday (akmonda...), January 28th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i hated mars attacks, so take that into consideration. the only thing I liked about it was seeing movie stars die

-- anthony kyle monday (akmonda...), January 28th, 2004.

Huck Me Gently (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow, a hatrick of funnies for akm!

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Funny fucker.

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

from children - classic or dud

Refreshingly unpretentious fun machines or tiny, messy, clumsy people who don't know when a joke has stopped being funny?
-- @d@ml (nordi
EF="webmail.php?msgid=4213914">nordicskill...), January 28th, 2004 1:55 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link)

Answers

I filed this under "Obj-- @d@ml (nordi">ects".
-- @d@ml (nordi
cskilla@hotmail.com), January 28th, 2004 1:56 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

ew that looks gross, sorry. anyway it was the 1-2 of "fun machines" and then the objects jibe

mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

My name does that, sadly.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

can't you just change your name to Shiela?

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

What's good for the Curtis is good for the web-board.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Houllier says Boumsong wanted too much money. I don't know who he is, so I have to agree with Houllier. I like Reyes but I can't remember why. I wish someone would take that dreadful whippersnapper Torres off Atletico Madrid. Wolves have got two players on trial, which seems rather old fashioned.

All of this, apart from the befuddledness, comes from the BBC website. I thought I'd go along and give them a bit of moral support.

-- PJ Miller (pjmiller6...), January 28th, 2004 6:51 PM

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

FWIW the majority of people I find funny on here daily seem to be British! Mark C has gone mental!


I have not run into many sanctimonious ex-smokers. What I hate are people who've never tried it - they've never lived! It makes me wonder what else they're denying themselves from ever knowing. Tis better to have smoked and got cancer and died etc.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), January 28th, 2004.

Allyzay, Thursday, 29 January 2004 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

You remember that episode of the Simpsons where Santa's Little Helper is on the operating table and God calls to him, "Come to the light, boy, come to the light! Good dog"? Well, it's kind of like the same thing. Sneezes are bad thoughts that are about to die, and when you look at the light it helps them find their way home.
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), January 28th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

U R GAY
-- Bryan (twp62y...), January 28th, 2004.

Allyzay, Thursday, 29 January 2004 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Top 500 or so reasons why the Monkees are better than the Beatles

Allyzay, Thursday, 29 January 2004 04:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm halfway through reading the report. Momus, you haven't got a fucking clue what you're talking about.
-- Lynskey (pau...), January 28th, 2004 11:58 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I shall await your report on the report, then, Lynskey. If I am criticised, there will be resignations and suicides throughout the Momus Corporation.
-- Momus (nic...), January 29th, 2004 12:05 AM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do not sex up Momus, I beg of you.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), January 29th, 2004 12:08 AM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 29 January 2004 09:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Uergh. I feel faint.

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 29 January 2004 09:57 (twenty-two years ago)

This one in particular stood out to me on the Monkees vs. Beatles thread (funny cuz it's true etc)...

You can say you like the Monkees more than the Beatles and hipsters will think you're some kinda visionary
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), January 29th, 2004 11:43 PM. (natedetritus)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Did it work? Am I visionary now?

NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Have you got a hologram on your chest?

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.livingsacred.com/webviolet.jpg
I'm delirious.

Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

from the dave q thread:

dave q isnt David Quantick is he?
-- unsure (n...), January 29th, 2004. (later)

Most assuredly not.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 29th, 2004. (later)


Good god no!
-- Ricardo (boyofbadger...), January 29th, 2004. (later)

ah. thank you.
-- happy now (n...), January 29th, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Woo-hoo! It's only -38 C today! Patio season hits Regina!
-- Huck Me Gently (handsomishbo...), January 29th, 2004 9:55 AM. (Horace Mann)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

that was funny cos it mentioned "regina" right?

ken c (ken c), Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

It is great. And its retroness is one of the main reasons why it is great. Another thing is it was luckily almost devoid of those annoying dance beats they tended to love later on in their career.

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), January 29th, 2004 3:14 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

??!!??!!??!! Geir I think you need to take yr copy of Second Coming back to Olav's Records.
-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), January 29th, 2004 3:16 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 29 January 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

NASTY Crew feat. MC Dontryit - He's Got A Publishing Deal Take That Woah!
-- Matt DC (runmd...), January 29th, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Can we do this when Ronan is here next? I want to see him shouting 'house' and waving a glowstick.

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), January 29th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"four to the floor - 44!"
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), January 29th, 2004.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 29 January 2004 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Like when are we going to see another revolution that DOESN'T suck? All these 'indie' kids (Liars, Interpol, Rapture, etc.) are mediocre acts praised the best thing since which ever band they're ripping off because they don't COMPLETELY blow. In a nutshell, how/when are we going to see another Nirvana?
-- JesusMaryChain (paulantonsmit...), January 29th, 2004.

Answers

You aren't.
-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), January 29th, 2004.

dean! (deangulberry), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmmm. How could I forget about one fifth of A1 when I have even been his athletics coach and everything ;)

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), January 29th, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I still marvel at that line. It just...it is.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

The little winking smiley face at the end just makes the whole sentence.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:27 (twenty-two years ago)

It truly does. The entire thread, meanwhile, is turning into the car crash of dreams (thanks in part to Donna, My Favorite New Poster Hands Down, ripping Geir several new ones).

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 January 2004 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

From the Pit Bull Thread:

what's on the front of this card, you ask?

[Target credit card w/ Pit Bull face]
-- Kingfish Funyun (jdsalmo...) (webmail), January 29th, 2004. (Kingfish)

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, HE'S ABOUT TO LUNGE AT YOU!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...) (webmail), January 29th, 2004. (vassifer)

HE'LL DEVOUR YOU WITH SAVINGS AND SELECTION!

-- Kingfish Funyun (jdsalmo...) (webmail), January 29th, 2004. (Kingfish)

Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

This whole thread:

the Beatles on the cover of Rolling Stone! finally!

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 29 January 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

A couple of months ago I bashed my head while walking through some revolving doors out of library. When I got outside I reached for my forhead with my hand but poked myself in the eye instead and dropped all my books. I then recoiled my hand so violently I accidentally punched myself in the nuts.
-- Chuck Tatum (sappy_papp...), January 30th, 2004 12:22 PM. (Chuck Tatum)


(I feel awful for making fun of Chuck's pain, but it really did make me laugh spastically)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 30 January 2004 01:39 (twenty-two years ago)

that is seriously fantastic.

the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 30 January 2004 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

wow!

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 30 January 2004 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

is this whole scene on videotape?!?

Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Listening to my wife giggle on the couch every time she feels a kick from our unborn baby.
Twee Alex = the most awesome thing in the world, I'm seeing.

-- Mellow Dee (deethe_downspamdown_lurke...), January 30th, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(Eisbar, I hug you repeatedly! Aw, thank you!)

(And now for my first submission to this joint:)

When I thought I'd found my soulmate there was no other person in the world could've dragged me from her...

Unless she gained 50 pounds.

-- JuliaA (loginnam...) (webmail), January 30th, 2004 11:36 PM. (j_bdules) (link)

Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 30 January 2004 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i used to go on the jeepster chatroom, bizarre fact lovers
-- stevem (bluesk...), January 27th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It's not just his hair he grooms!
-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), January 27th, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 30 January 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I think Fox should stop putting out these shit reality shows and bring back "Undeclared". Whats next "Who Wants to Marry A Eunuch?"

-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), January 30th, 2004.

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 30 January 2004 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know what thread Chuck's post is from, but reading it here just made me spit out my coffee.

Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 30 January 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

How do they make curly fries? (4 new answers)
ASSHOLES (18 new answers)
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), January 30th, 2004.

Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 30 January 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

corn? bread? cornbread? huh?
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), January 30th, 2004 12:50 PM. (Mark C)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is why we fought a revolution.
-- teeny (teen...), January 30th, 2004 1:00 PM. (teeny)

gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 30 January 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

rockist do you talk dirty in bed?
-- Sterling Clover

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 30 January 2004 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I've read about half of Finnegans Wake, but I suppose that is like going up the mountain but not coming back down.

-- Casuistry (chri...), January 30th, 2004

Leee Majors (Leee), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Cutest. Band member. Ever.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 January 2004 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha I wonder what Parcells response shall be. I think it'll be along the lines of "You're the homo BEEEEYOTCH!!!!!" and then he'll eat everything in sight to prove his manliness.
-- Ally (mlescau...), August 8th, 2003.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel like Trixie Belden!

-- luna (luna_cee...), January 30th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Och, Dan, you left out the bit about the diamonds!

The River Kate (kate), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm usually good about keeping context with stuff I find funny, but this time I was scrolling down the thread and that line just jumped out at me and made me snarf.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

My work here is done.

luna (luna.c), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Excuse me, is your ass a McDonalds? Cuz I'm lovin' it!

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), January 30th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 30 January 2004 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ARAGHAGAAH

Does that line do anything for you, ladies?

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 30th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Not without slides.
-- luna (luna_cee...), January 30th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn't trying to flirt with THEM you saucy bootyflaked hosebeast.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 30th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

So Luna, if someone walked up to you and a bar, handed you a pap smear slide and screamed like a balrog, that's it game over, panties in the rafters, etc?

(xpost Ned, I think all of the gothy sasquatches left ILX like an hour ago.)

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), January 30th, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 31 January 2004 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The 'hopeless crush' revival has turned up this incredible gem:

-- Ronan (ronanfitzgeral...), September 2nd, 2001.

18 year old boys, though -- who'd touch them? ;-)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 2nd, 2001.

congrats Ned and Ronan you are half way to a Belle and Sebastion chorus

-- anthony (anthonyeasto...), September 2nd, 2001.

I renounce my previous post.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 2nd, 2001.

"Everyone's partial to a 17 year old boy every now and again,
18 year old boys, though - who'd touch them?
I was cute and bendable, now I'd gladly,
Be younger again to get in with Kathy,

The girl with the John Cale taste."

-- Graham (dtc...), September 2nd, 2001.

cue tasteful flute solo.

-- ethan (ethan...), September 3rd, 2001.

The offending instrument then being ripped from the player's hands and used to beat Mr. Murdoch about the head. In the ensuing flood of tears from the audience at how people could be so cruel, I get in a lifeboat and float away.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 3rd, 2001.

Couldn't the gay one in Wu Tang rap that? And then they could say written by Ned Ragget. I did nothing really, he told me to put that first line down.

-- Ronan (fitzge...), September 3rd, 2001.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 31 January 2004 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

*SWEARS LOUDLY AT MISSING FIRST LINE, reposts*

Everyones partial to a 17 year old boy every now and again.....

-- Ronan (ronanfitzgeral...), September 2nd, 2001.

18 year old boys, though -- who'd touch them? ;-)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 2nd, 2001.

congrats Ned and Ronan you are half way to a Belle and Sebastion chorus

-- anthony (anthonyeasto...), September 2nd, 2001.

I renounce my previous post.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 2nd, 2001.

"Everyone's partial to a 17 year old boy every now and again,
18 year old boys, though - who'd touch them?
I was cute and bendable, now I'd gladly,
Be younger again to get in with Kathy,

The girl with the John Cale taste."

-- Graham (dtc...), September 2nd, 2001.

cue tasteful flute solo.

-- ethan (ethan...), September 3rd, 2001.

The offending instrument then being ripped from the player's hands and used to beat Mr. Murdoch about the head. In the ensuing flood of tears from the audience at how people could be so cruel, I get in a lifeboat and float away.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 3rd, 2001.

Couldn't the gay one in Wu Tang rap that? And then they could say written by Ned Ragget. I did nothing really, he told me to put that first line down.

-- Ronan (fitzge...), September 3rd, 2001.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 31 January 2004 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

It's worse when you got up to depressing/embarrassing shit before leaving the house last and have no idea what's sitting out there in the open. Cig butts lazily mashed into microwave lasagna containers, "chubbies" porn folder left very much unhidden on computer, topical cream in washroom, jewel cases with saliva streaks on them, an issue of McSweeney's, magnetized pics of sluts other than the one about to visit, heroin.

-- Le Coq (394th...), January 31st, 2004 4:08 AM.

may pang (maypang), Saturday, 31 January 2004 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

From the ILM "Disfigured Rock Stars" Thread:

:burl ives was born made out of snow.

-- jack cole (jack_col...) (webmail), January 31st, 2004. (jackcol

Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 31 January 2004 04:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"I believe God created me in one day."
"Yeah, it looks like he rushed it."
-- Lord Custos Omicron (l.custo...), January 31st, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 31 January 2004 06:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Gygax, there was no "generalization" in that point, and there need be no long grueling debate because I don't think this point is debatable: a vote is a tool you're given to affect political leadership, and has not until very recently been viewed as an opportunity for the expression of self. I respect whatever personal ideals you have to vote only for candidates you near-absolutely endorse, but I think inserting those ideals into a voting process that's not built to accommodate them (i.e. a non-proportional one) is a bad and counterproductive idea that accomplishes nothing apart from giving you the satisfaction of having expressed yourself:

Gygax's mother: "For dinner you can have either soup or poop."
Gygax: "I register my objection to both: I would prefer potatoes."
Gygax's mother: "Enjoy your poop."
Gygax: "I shall."

-- nabisco (--...), March 21st, 2003

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 1 February 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i've moaned 'oh i miss nabisco' enough for ally to make fun of me for it but: oh i miss nabisco

cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 1 February 2004 08:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Enjoy your poop.

Dan I., Sunday, 1 February 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man I am so prepared for the next time I talk to a libertarian/green.

Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 1 February 2004 08:37 (twenty-one years ago)

from Janet Jackson's Tit!!!!!!!

this is the worst Black History Month EVER
-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), February 2nd, 2004.

M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 2 February 2004 03:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Why are you jealous of Marissa Marchant?
Dan Perry is a loser who has no talent. Marissa has talent.
You don't have any talent and I am not Marissa. I like people with talent. What is your problems. We would like to know?
-- Janie (Jani...), February 2nd, 2004 8:36 PM. (later)

the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 2 February 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

(sorry teeny, just ran across this and thought it was cute)

OK maybe I mentioned this before but my boy and I have only briefly had the talk once, and he looked like he had swallowed tacks (as I prob did as well), but I think he was glad for the guidance. Or he was just surprised by my opinions, as follows: no big wedding to-do (better to elope and spend the money on ourselves or our friends), no planning said elopement, no engagement, and definitely no engagement ring. And no diamonds under any circumstances.
-- teeny (teen...), September 10th, 2003 12:05 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 2 February 2004 06:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, the 'no diamonds' part at least was observed.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 2 February 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you, Russia nuke attack thread:

Shall we play a game?

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 2nd, 2004. (later)

"Oh yeah? well I hope you fall off a cliff... Andropov!"

-- donut bitch (do...), February 2nd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 2 February 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Blount, I just saw nabisco TONIGHT, are you not jealous of me???

Allyzay, Monday, 2 February 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah well i saw janet jackson's right tittie! so nyah!

cinniblount (James Blount), Monday, 2 February 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Psh so did everyone.

Allyzay, Monday, 2 February 2004 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

put up or shut up ally

cinniblount (James Blount), Monday, 2 February 2004 06:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Everyone's seen my right tit too!

Allyzay, Monday, 2 February 2004 06:52 (twenty-one years ago)

About halfway down this thread becomes the best thign ever:

Taking sides: Madonna or Janet Jackson?

Allyzay, Monday, 2 February 2004 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

If God had intended for rhythm to be in the foreground he would have given it to WHITE PEOPLE!

-- Hongritis (clobberthesauru...), February 2nd, 2004.

In the midst of a thread that mostly made me grimace (Class etc. Pt. 3 - why does African American audiences completely ignore indie, prog etc?), this truly made me laugh out loud!

Paul in Santa Cruz (Paul in Santa Cruz), Monday, 2 February 2004 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

not funny per se, but funny in that while it reads almost as a parody of geir's "thinking," the geirbot himself actually wrote it:

One fine day, everybody on Earth will realise that melody and harmony is superior to rhythm, and there will be no such thing as "black" or "white" music anymore. Just people with white skin making complex classically influenced head music with nice melodies and harmonies and people with black skin making complex classically influenced head music with nice melodies and harmonies.
-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), February 2nd, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 2 February 2004 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

haha - 'one fine day we will put aside our differences and accept the superiority of white culture. i hope someday you'll join us and the world will live as one.'

cinniblount (James Blount), Monday, 2 February 2004 08:16 (twenty-one years ago)

yer reading my mind, james -- i had "imagine" playing mentally while posting that here!

Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 2 February 2004 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

From "stuff you're generally surprised ILM likes"

this is an idiotic thread
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 1st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yes, i know that's like pointing out how oxygen keeps us alive at this point
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 1st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi there, lotso critiqton!
-- t\'\'t (phon...), February 1st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

critiquington
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 2nd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jesuso christington
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 2nd, 2004.

M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 2 February 2004 08:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Christopher Brookmyre: Terrorism can be funny and we have a hero inside us all. An' cunt owf, ya bawbag.
-- j0e

Richard Littlejohn: I really hope I don't accidentally-on-purpose fall backwards onto a black man's erect penis.
-- j0e

stevem (blueski), Monday, 2 February 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

god i am so sick of these fucking "how can anyone like [blank]??" threads
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 2nd, 2004.

Jess otm. The only one I ever participated in was Junior Senior, but seriously how can anyone like them?

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), February 2nd, 2004.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 2 February 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I put a Weezer CD of mine in an Outkast CD case. So its the deuchebags from Weezer on the cover and the sticker says, "The Stankiest Album of their Career!"
-- christhamrin (hamr004...), February 2nd, 2004.

Geirique (Enrique), Monday, 2 February 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha
(xpost)

-- Matt DC (runmd...) (webmail), February 2nd, 2004. (link)


(As it's difficult to laugh and point on a thread...)

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 2 February 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

that joke was intentional, just in case that's not clear.

Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 2 February 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

this is the thread to moan/make self deprecating jokes about VALENTINES DAY

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 2 February 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

And a higlight from said thread:

oops don't need it Matt, I'll be in France........with the in-laws! but hey, we'll be bringing back horse!!!!!
I think it was the splitting all the tables into twos and doing loads and loads of covers that I read annoyed them.

-- chris (cbrassic...), February 2nd, 2004 5:01 PM. (chris) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How to Make It as a Heroin Dealer
1) Never advertise your profession on internet talkboards

-- Enrique (miltonpinsk...), February 2nd, 2004 5:05 PM. (Enrique) (later)

Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 2 February 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(from the 'best way to shoot a girl who has your dick in her mouth' thread)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BLAM
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 2nd, 2004 8:02 AM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Monday, 2 February 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Barry, that joke was funnier when Pete made it a year ago ;o)

chris (chris), Monday, 2 February 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I wasn't on this biotch a year ago = not my fault.

Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 2 February 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

And I evidently wasn't paying attention. As long as I laughed out loud (and I did, even though I had already formulated it in my head myself - ever predictable, me), it qualifies for this thread ;)

Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 2 February 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

No Mark it doesn't and you're fired.

TOMBOT, Monday, 2 February 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

invite them back to your place for an "audit" using your "e-meter". (warning - this could backfire disastrously)

-- Pashmina (pashmin...), January 27th, 2004.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 2 February 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Fired in a "shot in the face while sucking your dick" kind of way?

Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 2 February 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

The thing that makes Lance such a badass is that THAT'S SATAN'S BIKE.
-- jazz odysseus (...), February 2nd, 2004 6:08 AM

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 2 February 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes ... Canada has decided to put the spanking back on the kids... Ain't it about time? What are your thought?
-- Gale (gale2g200...), February 1st, 2004.

(it was the "Ain't it about time?" part)

donut bitch (donut), Monday, 2 February 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Spanking is wasted on children. They never appreciate it properly.
-- Layna Andersen (layn...), February 2nd, 2004 1:52 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 2 February 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Meanwhile, I killed a 6 pack of Rolling Rock yesterday. It had it coming! It was asking for it! It was all, "hey, you're too much of a pussy to drink me,"
and I was all "no way stupid beer, down the hatch".

Beer: 0
Aimee: 6

-- luna (luna_cee...), February 2nd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 2 February 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that post. There's something just so wonderfully Homer about it.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 2 February 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

not an ilx dream but last night i dreamed that i had been reincarnated as a wolf cub!! i ran over to my mother wolf and playfully batted her face
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), January 30th, 2004 7:24 AM. (tracerhand)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 2 February 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Matos posted the post I wanted to copy from the JJTit thread.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 2 February 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

omg, I am e-purple-nurpling you.
-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), February 3rd, 2004 10:01 PM. (Curtis Stephens)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

omg lol

cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

dude if you say the words "Jon Williams" enough to lose it's meaning and it just sounds like a race of adolescent males who most desperately need to get a useful hobby.
-- Mellow Dee

cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.turnerartistmanagement.com/David%20Turner/Smaller/Ray%20Liotta%20&%20Girl.jpg

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

wrong thread. sorry.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh this is definitely the right thread.

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Mastermind was such a a cool game.

omg, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't think of a situation where that picture would be "wrong" actually.

Allyzay, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Mastermind was such a a cool game.
-- omg (o...), February 3rd, 2004. (later)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha, awesome, Dee was mean and it was funny.

NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I swear to you I wasn't being mean!

(I do now proudly sport rough edges, though. So hm. Pondering.)

Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

(Thank you, though.)

Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh Alfonse, you homosexual-janet wannabe,
Your taste bud is probably numb. Bad taste. I pity the bitch who let you lick her. Anyway, I still stand my ground that Janet is a copycat. She follows where Madonna leads.

And you, fag, you're following where I lead!

-- (jefrize...), July 29th, 2001.


(It's the "your taste bud is probably numb" bit that got me)

Allyzay, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

And you, fag, you're following where I lead!

This begs interpretation.

NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude Anthony, that's a thread malfunction.

Leee Majors (Leee), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 04:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, maybe if the album was called Crouching manfully next to a Panther maybe.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), February 1st, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I am probably the only person to have eaten a cluster of domestic cockroaches in melted chocolate.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...) (webmail), February 3rd, 2004. (colin s barrow)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whereas loads of people have eaten wild cockroaches in melted chocolate.
-- Llahtuos Kcin (auspiciousfis...) (webmail), February 3rd, 2004. (Nick Southall)

the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The picture made everything right with the world for me this morning.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

“As I get older, my unease at the time and the money that has to be spent on projects putting human beings back to the moon, and onto another planet,
is so enormous,” Stewart said. “And it would take up so many resources, which I personally feel should be directed at our own planet.”
As opposed to the time, money and resources wasted on being a nerd.

-- Huckadelia (handsomishbo...), February 3rd, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Yancey, where did you go buy your iPod... FuckTech Bendover Electronics?
-- donut bitch (do...), February 3rd, 2004. (later)

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

General rule: four legs good, three legs bad (unless you're into that sort of thing).
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 3rd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

erm..
you mean into one legged threesomes¿
-- dyson (dyspleasur...), February 3rd, 2004.

webcrack (music=crack), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think dropping paper on the floor = making a complete fool of yourself. To make a complete fool or yourself I think you have to say something crass, like "why do African American audiences completely ignore indie, prog etc?" or something.
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 3rd, 2004.

dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Possibly the greatest slow build-up to cutting putdown moment on ILX ever:

This has absolutely nothing to do with race, and that's why I am pissed off in the start, because through mainly sticking to "black" musical styles (while
white audiences have embraced "black" styles ever since jazz was incorporated into American popular music in the 20s), African Audiences continue to
build on a race stigma that shouldn't exist at all.

In the 60s, the boundaries were about to be torn down between "black" and "white" music. The Beatles mixed raw R&B elements (I don't deny them
being heavily influenced by R&B and rock'n'roll) with somewhat more "European" melodic and harmonic stuff than even white rock'n'rollers would do
in the 50s. On the other side, there were the Motown acts who, while preserving their gospel influenced vocal style, and the "ecstatic" was of singing, at
the same time took more time to care about the tunes. While the twee psychedelic concept album never was picked up by Motown (which is why
Motown were terribly old-fashioned from 1967 until "What's Going On" redefined their style), Motown were very much in the forefront in 1963-66
when it came to tearing down those stupid boundaries.

While Motown and The Beatles, from two different backgrounds, both helped blur these boundaries, Phil Spector also did, through a "white"
songwriting style and use of strings/influenced from classical music, combined with the same gospel influenced singers (most of them black), again
creating a perfect combination here.

Because I do think it is a good idea to get rid of all kinds of purism. Even I like my music with a rhythm section. I do prefer The Beatles or Genesis
more than I like Bach or Mozart. But I also do prefer to have the melodies there, because, really, I consider melody the most beautiful invention
Mankind has ever come up with, and I see no reason why melody should be buried just because it happened to be developed by the same people who
did a lot of really bad things towards Africans in the 18th and 19th century.

Melodies deserves to live forever, in all music, not just in ancient classical European music from previous decades. This most of all means that it should
live in popular music, in its traditional European form. And then, other "black" elements might be added, such as a rhythm section and sometimes a
somewhat more emotional vocal style, because as long as the melody and its harmonies are being kept, the music isn't harmed by those elements ever.

I simply want black and white people to make the same kind of music, and that music should be a 50/50 compromise between "black" and "white"
music styles, which is exactly what both The Beatles and Motown were.

Mixing politics into this is completely sick because this has nothing to do with politics. Music isn't politics. Music is music, and it is nothing but music and
should be nothing else than music.
And I do realise that this "absolute music" idea is a European one, developed by German composers in the 19th century, but it is still a bloody good
one, that music should work in itself, and shouldn't be mixed by politics, or with anything else for that matter. (For that exact same reason, I also tend to
ignore the quality of the lyrics as long as the melody works).

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), February 3rd, 2004. (later)

It's the "I Have A Dream" that the 21st Century has been waiting for!

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 3rd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I was talking about Abba, of course.

N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I EXPRESS YOU WITH MITTENS:

http://creativezaida.freeservers.com/puppet_kitten.jpg

Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

There seems to be too much math involved in threesomes.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 3rd, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Best thing about the tripod homepage:
"Do you really know what a Blog is? It's just another name for a really cool web site .. so get started! Build your own Blog in seconds with our handy Blog Builder!"

And this snippet is accompanied by a picture of a monkey.

-- martin m. (marti...), February 3rd, 2004. (later)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Douglas Wolk On The New Cure Box-Set In This Week's Nation!

This whole thread is hilarious.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 23:41 (twenty-one years ago)

he uglee and stupieddddddd
-- mandy4 (mandynet2...), February 4th, 2004 7:47 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You tell them Mandy4.
-- Aaron W (nineoclockdro...), February 4th, 2004 7:52 PM. (Aaron W) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MANDY4, DROPPIN' SCIENCE
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 4th, 2004 7:53 PM. (Dan Perry) (later)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(from "SpongeBob Squarepants is not GAY!")

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

My contributions are nothing, it's Matos that makes it:

ahhhh. Ned hated the Q-Tip album too. (the second unreleased one.) I remember getting into a heated email debate with someone who (a) hadn't heard the album and (b) had the whole "who are you to dare criticize those with talent" idiot-shtick down like there was no tomorrow.

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

Ned hated the Q-Tip album too. (the second unreleased one.)

It was just...*throws up hands* I mean, what WAS the point?

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

"bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh, bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh-bluh"

[three minute one-handed guitar solo]

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

but it was jazz!

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

From the grave, Miles and Louis renounce their great work.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

the transition from minute one to minute two of that album, when he stops rapping (haha--he sounds like the MOST STONED HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET, though, so it's got some interesting documentary value) and the crap soloing begins, is like watching the film melt in the projector during the opening credits

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

This is kind of sweet:

I believe Indian classical music is not traditional music, but more like European classical music, which makes it high culture.

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), February 4th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and the jackson teat?
-- pete s (petesesnai...), February 4th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janet Jackson's tit is nice. Her music isn't too bad either, which is more important. :-)

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), February 4th, 2004.

Patrick Kinghorn, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the Hell's Angels should provide "security" at the Republican National Convention. Come to think of it, how 'bout Hell's Angels doing the security searches at airports. Now, there's an idea...well, whaddaya think? Huh? Or maybe instead of air marshalls, Hell's Angels. If any would be hijackers get rowdy, the Angels can make them ingest crank until their hearts explode....oh...my...I seem to have gotten carried away....I'll just go change my pants now....
-- Skottie (n...), February 4th, 2004.

omg, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

portable dvd players are good for amusing impatient kids on long car rides.
-- Maria (silyl_ari...), February 4th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As are rags soaked in chloroform.
-- Casuistry (chri...), February 4th, 2004.

donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 05:02 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus christ, what the fuck is wrong with you people? i go away asking a perfectly reasonable question and you have to start an argument.
if you cannot answer the question that i asked, hongro, then get off this thread. i'm not interested in your views on musical purity, nor is anyone else on this board. go and talk about them somewhere else please.

thank you.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), February 4th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Ignoring him would be an easier thing to do. Why reply knowing he'll stand by his opinion?)
-- nathalie (stevienixe...), February 4th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

because i asked a SIMPLE QUESTION about buying philly on CD and i hoped to come back today to find some helpful advice. so far only matos' reply, and a few others upthread from him, has actually been useful in any way (incidentally, while record shopping over the weekend it struck me just how completely philly has been erased from the History of Soul - lots of Motown comps, lots of funk/Northern soul/disco etc., but no Philly anywhere) and i don't appreciate my query being hijacked by an underemployed norwegian imbecile.
have you seen "elephant" yet? that's what happens when you "ignore" people.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), February 4th, 2004.

Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

The fun continues:

maybe that's because Philly gets blanketed in with disco so often? there's also the fact that Philadelphia International (and Sony, who owns them) are less profligate compilers than Motown, who are historically shameless, and the funk/NS/disco brigade, whom ditto (plus the rights are easier to come by in those cases).
How many number one hits did Motown have?
How many number one hits did Philly have?

I think you have to take that into consideration too when you look at the number of compilations etc...


-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), February 4th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HONGRO ARE YOU FUCKING ILLITERATE? DID THEY NOT TEACH YOU HOW TO READ OR WRITE IN THE ORPHANAGE?
GET OFF THIS FUCKING THREAD. SHUT UP. WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR WORTHLESS OPINIONS OR YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE.

GOT IT?

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), February 4th, 2004.

Patrick Kinghorn, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Beautiful.

Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

The cunts in Manchester aren't wacky by and large - still cunts of course but at least they don't think they're cute
-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), February 4th, 2004.

Allyzay, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

From the 'what rappers do you think jack off the most?' thread on ILM:

is paul barman a rapper?
-- mark p (mark.p****...), February 4th, 2004 10:36 PM. (Mark P)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

What thread is the Q-Tip funniness from?

Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

The revived Timbaland/Neptunes thread here on ILE.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

message to Whitey: don't touch black people's hair. We don't like it.
-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), February 4th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for the tip! Can I now count you as one of my "black friends"?
-- teeny (teen...), February 4th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

why, sure! :)
-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Donna is turning into my favourite new poster.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, hands down.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, off the hair!

ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

her and jazz odysseus

Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Pop music! Laughing out loud! Having fun! Fuck's sake Alex!

-- Enrique (miltonpinsk...), February 4th, 2004 8:32 AM. (Enrique) (later) (link)

teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I tried to find a picture of the NKOTB video, but I started feeling gay and strange so I had to stop. Sorry.

-- dean! (dea...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ipod sure is pretty

-- Mary (maj23...), March 13th, 2003 7:15 P

Oh god, what was I thinking?

-- Mary (maj23...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

Different.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn Ned, you've immortalized my queerness!

dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

You are now deathless.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.kadinsky.com/images/saderup/newkids.jpg

dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

is that Dan Perry's 80s hair?

teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Did they really look like that?

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

not as hott

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Tom, please tell me there's no pictures of homemade vibrators.
You don't think I am stupid enough to share all of my hardcore kiddie porn movies, and all those Word documents that prove I am employed with Al Qaida? ;)


-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), February 4th, 2004.

*, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, Donnie's forehead looks huuuuge. You could write the Old Testament on that sucker.

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

THAT IS A BANDANNA FOR THE PURPOSE OF KEEPING DONNIE'S HAIR LOOKING TIGHT WHILE HE IS KICKING YOUR ASS

dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Sherlock.

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, your joke wasn't funny so I decided to try and up the ante.

dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

VOTE FOR ME MY RUNNING MATE IS BUTTERBROT
-- ORNALDO BLOOMPS (200...), February 4th, 2004.

It was the BLOOMPS that did it. Again.

Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

never ever ever put anything in terms of "ASKING OUT". the whole concept of "asking out" or "not asking out" or whatnot is unnecessary preamble for high skool fules. skip that part and the next time you're hangin and havin a good time just be all like "i kind of have a neck thing, can i take photographs of your neck?" slam-dunk baby - every time!! alternatively you can suggest you go for a cup of coffee and if she's like no then you can be like "i hate your neck anyway"

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 4th, 2004 1:11 PM. (later)

bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Buttery!
-- BUTTERBROT (butterbro...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

VOTE FOR ME MY RUNNING MATE IS BUTTERBROT
-- ORNALDO BLOOMPS (200...), February 4th, 2004.

(x-post)

convulsed in fits in my cube, luckily no-one is around to hear.

anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

this is worse than catching my dad putting the money under my pillow and taking my tooth away at age 10
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 4th, 2004 10:35 PM. (later)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What Jess meant to say is "it's like catching my dad masturbating".
-- Matt DC (runmd...), February 4th, 2004 10:44 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck... there goes my prime Focus Group comment dagnammit.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), February 4th, 2004 10:50 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's like catching Gary Jules masturbating! 10"
-- Tico Tico (ticoticoil...), February 4th, 2004 10:51 PM. (later)

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haha 10"....
-- willem (sungravi...), February 4th, 2004 10:52 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

from the crush thread:

i like NEX and i cannot lie!
dude Felonius do you realize you've ALREADY HAD YOUR FIRST DATE w/her??

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 4th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if you must get nervous, now you can do it retroactively!
also it means you get to kiss her immediately and without warning!!

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 4th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

care to elaborate?
-- Felonious Drunk (wangchungvsah...), February 4th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

welcome to every day of my life lately.
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 4th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

really? who's the girl? what have you done?
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 4th, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

this whole thing is fucking awesome:

WHY MINE ZANJATEE THE SANDWICH WITH OIL BECOMES HUMIDIFIED?

g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 5 February 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)


VOTE FOR ME MY RUNNING MATE IS BUTTERBROT

-- ORNALDO BLOOMPS (200...), February 4th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

?

-- BUTTERBROT (butterbro...), February 4th, 2004.


it's "Butterbrot"'s response that makes this for me.

Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 5 February 2004 00:41 (twenty-one years ago)

this is just another geir meta thread,but dave q's post about a third of the way down is priceless


I'm Geir Hongro. No I'M Geir Hongro. I too am Geir Hongro. I am He etc.

robin (robin), Thursday, 5 February 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

From the Bob Saget thread:

he's don delillo's brother in law!
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 5th, 2004 9:25 PM. (James Blount) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is Don married to Bob's sister or is Bob married to Don's sister?
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), February 5th, 2004 9:32 PM. (Alex in SF) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha - i just made that up
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 5th, 2004 9:34 PM. (James Blount) (later)

Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I would like to make an announcement:
When ordering pizza with OTHER people, y'know like more than 3 people, DO NOT IMPOSE YOUR BIZARRE PIZZA TOPPINGS on them, okay?

Keep your chicken ranch cream-sauce pinapple garlic-sauce pesto bacon ground beef no-sauce bbq seafood meatball etc puke, at home ok? We're sharing here. This is called being polite in mixed company.

The ONLY acceptable items for group ordering are:
Pepperoni, Sausage, Green Pepper, Mushrooms, Black Olives, Onion, Garlic, Tomatoes, extra cheese.

Borderline acceptable items are those which require emphatic consent from ALL

IF YOU ARE SUCH AN EGOMANIAC that you have to have WHAT YOU WANT in this situation, then by all means, order YOUR OWN small pie. Nobody else wants to eat your disgusting and perverted concoction.

Haven't you people heard of COMMON COURTESY?


-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 4th, 2004.

ORNALDO BLOOMPS, Thursday, 5 February 2004 06:23 (twenty-one years ago)

well, indeed.
i wonder what petridish makes of the transatlantic chart-topping, multi-million selling album "kid a" by radiohead?

(oh yes, i remember, last year in his review of "hail to the thief" he printed lies about "kid a" not selling. old petridish certainly isn't someone who's going to be put off by boring, inconvenient "facts" if they don't happen to suit his non-theory)

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), February 5th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

loads of people said Kid A was rubbish as well, which as well know now, is a complete lie...
-- stevem (bluesk...), February 5th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

name them.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), February 5th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dad.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), February 5th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

me
-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), February 5th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dave Stelfox
Matt Dc's dad
Me
That's three and rising.

-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), February 5th, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean it seriously, so save your abuse.
I can't understand why someone who considers him/herself a talented writer would want to go into music criticism.

1. From a practical perspective, there's no money in it.
2. Popular music is probably the most subjective and unintellectual of all artforms, and is therefore immune to any kind of rigorous discourse. A song can be great/elegiac/sad/etc. purely on the basis that you heard it first when you were 15 years old. How do you argue with that?
3. What useful things are there to say about music that can't be said in a few lines in a music forum?
4. Most of the music I love, I have no real desire to read about. I have a desire to read about the lives of the people who created it perhaps, or the circumstances in which it was made. But no desire to read musical criticism.

-- bemused (bemuse...), February 5th, 2004. (later)

Answers
Writing about music is fun! And some people do have the desire to read music criticism. so, there ya go.
-- scott seward (skotro...), February 5th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judging by your lax grammar and syntax, you should be the last person to complain about artforms (sic) being "unintellectual" (sic). Perhaps you were turned down for a job and are therefore using this thread to vent your envy at people more talented than you could ever hope to be, or people whose lives are so much better, qualitatively and quantitatively, than yours will ever be.
Now fuck off.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), February 5th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, there's that too.
-- scott seward (skotro...), February 5th, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 5 February 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T TRY IT. YOU DON'T TRY IT. AND YOU, DON'T TRY IT EITHER. HEY, DON'T TRY IT. NED, DON'T TRY IT. LUKA, I HOPE YOU DON'T TRY IT. MATOS DON'T FUCKING TRY IT. JESS I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN, *DON'T* TRY IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU USE A TOOTHBRUSH, I'LL FUCKING DO YOU IN, DON'T TRY IT. TIM F DON'T TRY IT, SO YOU HAVE A BLOG, I HAVE A FIST. MARK C DON'T TRY IT, YOU ARE BALD. YOU ENJOY RICE? FUCKING NAZI SCUM DON'T TRY IT. TOM DON'T TRY IT, I WILL PUT THE "IS" BETWEEN THE LETTERS FT AND CONNECT IT WITH YOUR FACE. STEVEM DON'T TRY IT, YOUR FACE WILL BE A MASHUP.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), February 5th, 2004 10:40 AM. (Ronan) (later) (link) (admin) (159.134.147.141)

mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 5 February 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahahaa!!!

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 5 February 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T PAUL.
-- Ronan (...), February 5th, 2004 3:42 PM

I FUCKING SOCKED MARY WHITEHOUSE FOR LESS.
-- Ronan (...), February 5th, 2004 3:43 PM

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 5 February 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

(from the same thread)

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 5 February 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

heh, I'm only sorry I didn't do more, I had typed "MATT YOU WILL BE LOOKING FOR YOUR LOCAL DC WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU" but decided to stop.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan get over to the Petridish thread, we are in the process of redeeming the irredeemable.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 5 February 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Which thread did Ronan go bonkers on?

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a joke!

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

AND YOU'LL LAUGH. NOBODY LIKES THE SMELL OF BURNT LASAGNE.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark: Music writers: why do you bother?

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a fucking joke, right. I'd been having some long times, feeling good, making Doomie happy, feeling in the zone. Then this amateur told me I was talking garbage. 'Don't try it' I said to him. But would he listen? Would he fuck? He just stood there, goading me. Trying to make me look the fool. So I smacked him one. Served the bollix right. I phoned Paul Lester and he agreed.
-- Markeano (boyofbadger...) (webmail), February 5th, 2004 11:10 AM. (RickyT)

Barry is right. Lester agrees with me about everything.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...)

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I think we should just install Marcello as a permanent fixture on this thread.

Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

AND YOU'LL LAUGH. NOBODY LIKES THE SMELL OF BURNT LASAGNE.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), February 5th, 2004.

N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

it's odd how he's come to replace Keano in my head. I never even thought of Roy until Mark's post!

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Er, do you mean my post?

Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

haha that's why it's funny people!!

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course, I was pretending I thought it was Mark!

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm reminded of this joy.

N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I got that Jess, just tht Ronan might not have.

Sorry, not being too sharp today.

Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

no, no i was ribbing ronan.

don't make me punch you in the fucking face, ricky.

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

minimal techno is an open ended circle, free from continua, it links its own past to a future which has not been realised yet, never stopping for rest. it is only connected to the brains of those who created it, men like derrick may, carl craig, and roy keane.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), August 8th, 2003 2:58 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

keano has transmat stickers on his bootbag, like dizzee and roll deep.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), August 8th, 2003 2:59 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roy Kean - 'Take That You Cunt!' (The Gaffer Agrees It's Ridiculous mix)
-- Matt DC (runmd...), August 8th, 2003 3:01 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i have an ile thread idea.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), August 8th, 2003 3:03 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was ridiculous. I was there, on the decks. In the club. Dropping science. The gaffer was loving it, the crowd was loving it. Then that halfwit Giggsy came up and stared at Roy. Made Roy lose concentration. Made him fuck up the Voib Killaz mix. So I nutted him.
-- Keano (boyofbadger...), August 8th, 2003 3:04 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I first moved to Detroit with Pa Sheeran my old coach from Ballyrocktown, I quickly integrated myself into the Transmat setup, playing regular gigs for Derrick and Jeff. It was at this point in my life I realised that everyone in the world was a bollix except Roy Keane and maybe one or two others who had got lucky to have met Roy. Here we were playing these parties, and the crowd didn't like it, they didn't like it! What had they done, Derrick and Jeff had written the rulebook.
I phoned Mike T and he agreed it was ridiculous.


-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), August 8th, 2003 3:08 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I knew the rot had set in from the moment The Prodigy went Number One in America. Everyone was going round, saying this was the pinnacle, they didn't care if they rocked another party ever again, I was like, "this is it, this is the beginning of the end". And I was right - take that club I played the other day, load of fucking pretty boys, they think because they've got the flash clothes and the best pills and the shiny Tiga 7-inch under one arm that they've made it. That's not what it's about, it's about blood and sweat and the stench of male bonding in a dirty warehouse. Roy Keane knows that, so do Jeff and Derrick and Richie. The rest of them, load of bluffers. You can't trust 'em.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), August 8th, 2003 3:22 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it was the night before the holland game in landsdowne, i sneaked into quinny and phil babbs room and caught them dressed up as women listening to fischerspooner. fischerspooner! fucking fischerspooner. did they think jimmy hasselbaink or edgar davids were listening to fischerspooner, were they fuck! I phoned the gaffer and he agreed I should have been djing for all of us. But this was typical of Mick McCarthy, even as captain of Ireland he used to say you can't win matches without listening to depeche mode first. It was a joke. the next day we went out and mcateer scored to give us a one nil win, I flew home straight after, leaving the "boys in green" to their bloody cajagoogoo.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), August 8th, 2003 3:31 PM.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't get it Ricky, you were right.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't try it Harvell

Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't express how happy i am that "don't try it" has become a meme

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

You're all insane and have too much time.

Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 5 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

You fuckers I read the whole "why do you bother" thread looking for the "don't try it" stuff and it was on "this is the thread where i say" the whole time!

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

DON'T TRY IT. YOU DON'T TRY IT. AND YOU, DON'T TRY IT EITHER. HEY, DON'T TRY IT. NED, DON'T TRY IT. LUKA, I HOPE YOU DON'T TRY IT. MATOS DON'T FUCKING TRY IT. JESS I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN, *DON'T* TRY IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU USE A TOOTHBRUSH, I'LL FUCKING DO YOU IN, DON'T TRY IT. TIM F DON'T TRY IT, SO YOU HAVE A BLOG, I HAVE A FIST. MARK C DON'T TRY IT, YOU ARE BALD. YOU ENJOY RICE? FUCKING NAZI SCUM DON'T TRY IT. TOM DON'T TRY IT, I WILL PUT THE "IS" BETWEEN THE LETTERS FT AND CONNECT IT WITH YOUR FACE. STEVEM DON'T TRY IT, YOUR FACE WILL BE A MASHUP.
-- Ronan

DON'T TRY IT. YOU DON'T TRY IT. AND YOU, DON'T TRY IT EITHER. HEY, DON'T TRY IT. NED, DON'T TRY IT. LUKA, I HOPE YOU DON'T TRY IT. MATOS DON'T FUCKING TRY IT. JESS I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN, *DON'T* TRY IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU USE A TOOTHBRUSH, I'LL FUCKING DO YOU IN, DON'T TRY IT. TIM F DON'T TRY IT, SO YOU HAVE A BLOG, I HAVE A FIST. MARK C DON'T TRY IT, YOU ARE BALD. YOU ENJOY RICE? FUCKING NAZI SCUM DON'T TRY IT. TOM DON'T TRY IT, I WILL PUT THE "IS" BETWEEN THE LETTERS FT AND CONNECT IT WITH YOUR FACE. STEVEM DON'T TRY IT, YOUR FACE WILL BE A MASHUP.
-- Ronan

DON'T TRY IT. YOU DON'T TRY IT. AND YOU, DON'T TRY IT EITHER. HEY, DON'T TRY IT. NED, DON'T TRY IT. LUKA, I HOPE YOU DON'T TRY IT. MATOS DON'T FUCKING TRY IT. JESS I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN, *DON'T* TRY IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU USE A TOOTHBRUSH, I'LL FUCKING DO YOU IN, DON'T TRY IT. TIM F DON'T TRY IT, SO YOU HAVE A BLOG, I HAVE A FIST. MARK C DON'T TRY IT, YOU ARE BALD. YOU ENJOY RICE? FUCKING NAZI SCUM DON'T TRY IT. TOM DON'T TRY IT, I WILL PUT THE "IS" BETWEEN THE LETTERS FT AND CONNECT IT WITH YOUR FACE. STEVEM DON'T TRY IT, YOUR FACE WILL BE A MASHUP.
-- Ronan

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Posted like that it feels like The Audio Bullys

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i posted it THREE LONG TIMES

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you see???

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I certainly do.

Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Audio Bullys featuring Mikey Streets 'Don't Try It (Omnipotent Genius Whipped Like Benin Mix)'

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

haha it's this bit fr me: TOM DON'T TRY IT, I WILL PUT THE "IS" BETWEEN THE LETTERS FT AND CONNECT IT WITH YOUR FACE. !!!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't get the YOU ENJOY RICE? bit...

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

You will get it.

N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I try to get something to eat. Uncle Ken's had all the mini Kievs. So I have to prepare for the biggest day of the year with just a packet of mini Cheddars and a sausage roll.

-- Roy Keane (stickitupyrbollocks@buttyrfaceoff.com) (webmail), February 29th, 2004 6:37pm (keanoinnit) (later) (link)

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 5 February 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Matt I was trying to find a fairly basic and neutral thing someone might like which would provoke a violent response.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 5 February 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I bought Snooker Loopy by Chas 7 Dave and it came with a free syringe. I don't know if that was intentional mind.
-- Captain Bongo (...), February 5th, 2004

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 5 February 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Strongo Hulkington . . . what do you REALLY think of 'Hey Ya!'?!"
"Tim Finney . . . the music that makes you dance--do you enjoy it?!"

"Ned Raggett . . . droning British rock--is it to your taste, perchance?!"

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 6th, 2004.

3255, Friday, 6 February 2004 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Thought of that one, too. But this one edged that out:

What sucks also is when you say "I want to talk to you..." and then the other person assumes it's something to fear when in reality you just wanted to schedule some alone time to talk. Christ.
-- dean! (dea...) (webmail), February 6th, 2004. (later)

"I want to talk to you... about Christ."
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...) (webmail), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex why the fuck do you hate Killing Joke so much? Ok so they're pretty sub-par and weedy and dull and tinny and useless but still your hate is bafflingly strong. I mean wtf?
-- * (n...) (webmail), February 6th, 2004. (later)

You've got to wonder why the question was even asked, if he's "not really" interested!
-- Sean (saturns...) (webmail), February 6th, 2004. (later)

i've been suspicious of your tastes for a while now Alex. always so easily expressed. i simply don't believe you. if you really liked killing joke you would hide it like the rest of us.
-- mullygrubber (tinydemon...) (webmail), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Oh, he's just pissy because I've shot down a few sweeping generalizations he's made about woefully undercooked acts.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...) (webmail), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Friday, 6 February 2004 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Trife back with a monster:

'yeah im a blah blah blah / but not like a blah blah' 'not bad meaning bad! but bad meaning good!' look you cartoonish disco fuck just fucking say your verse and stick with it!!!

-- $$ (...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

'you cartoonish disco fuck' = the most gleefully wonderful insult in years

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

If trife has a problem with cartoonish disco fucks we can take it outside

nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 6 February 2004 03:47 (twenty-one years ago)

but enough of that

I remember telling someone in high school that Morrissey was asexual, and he said "so does he like f*ck monkeys or something?"
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 6th, 2004. (later) (link)

MORRISSEY THE MONKEYFUCKER! I can see the Viz one-off now.

nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 6 February 2004 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I like ILM when it's not used as some sort of digital kleenex used to clean up after the collective stroking of a dozen Credibility Dongs. Which is to say about 10% of the time as of late.
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), February 6th, 2004.


*beautiful beautiful* image

omg, Friday, 6 February 2004 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It was supposed to be *horrifying horrifying* but thanks

nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 6 February 2004 04:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Because I'm bored:
Nirvana DJ Tim
Pole Old Man's Child
2Unlimited Aswad
Dodgy

Pusherman
Tenor Horn
Toad the Wet Sprocket Klaatu
Emperor Manu Chao
Blur Plaid The Strokes
Genesis

Ooberman
Gwar
The Flying Pickets Blue
So Solid Crew Cassette Boy

-- dog latin (doglati...), February 4th, 2004 4:49 AM. (dog latin)

Answers
Aw! That was gonna come out all scattered and cool, but it didn't work.
-- dog latin (doglati...), February 4th, 2004 4:53 AM. (dog latin)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moderators, please delete me.
-- dog latin (doglati...), February 4th, 2004 4:54 AM. (dog latin)


(This made me laugh a lot cos of the hilariously unintentional bizarre new band names! I mean, Toad the Wet Sprocket Klaatu! heee)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 6 February 2004 05:37 (twenty-one years ago)

old post, but just saw it:

"I stumbled upon this site by mistake. I like Dave Matthews. He has a unique style. Yes, others mimic him, but he was the first to come up with a jazzy, catchy, unique beet. I think he is very talented. He deserves everything he has recieved.

-- Jessica Jones (jess122...), April 22nd, 2003 8:19 PM.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unique beets for special borscht!

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), April 22nd, 2003 11:41 PM.
"

A Nairn (moretap), Friday, 6 February 2004 06:03 (twenty-one years ago)

From "Take a line or two from a song that discribes how you are feeling right now"


BATMAN!
BATMAN!
BATMAN!

-- jack cole (jack_col...), February 6th, 2004.


seriously, I'm fucking losing my brainfluids from laughing.

Huckadelphia (Horace Mann), Friday, 6 February 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

1988. Freshman at Catholic School. 265lbs with a mullet and bitch tits. Love hip-hop and r&b. Year before my father was promoted to president of the bank he worked for, so the family is quite a bit well off. im a spoiled rich fat guy. but im funny and i do well in school until i discover that its much more fun to cause trouble than do school work. i play football and start at the guard position. its pretty easy when your my size and 14. desperately want a girlfriend but no girls want to date a fat kid with bigger boobs than them. Meet some kids who introduce me to R.E.M and the Smiths. Changes my life. Go to my first party, puke up Southern Comfort after eating a Big Mac. Fat kids love Big Macs.

-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 6th, 2004.

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 6 February 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

He looks like the dude who rents out the AV equipment at work.
"Video transfer -- ooo --- that will take a bit of time but we can get that done".

-- Jimmy the Saint (00...), February 6th, 2004.

About Kevin Shields.

5535, Friday, 6 February 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

1. "Dr. Who" - so, so, so, awesome
2. "Get Smart!"
3. "Lost in Space"
4. "Planet of the Apes" (short live mid-70's spin off of the film series)
5. "the Munsters"
6. "the Addams Family"
7. "Hawaii Five-O"
8. "Ironsides" - (Crap show, great theme!)
9. "Courageous Cat & Minute Mouse" (awesome bass line)
10. "Insomniac with Dave Attel" (drunken Klezmer workout)

-- Alex in NYC

Answers
I'm sorry but, I hate theme songs
-- Aja

Then why are you posting to this thread?
-- Alex in NYC

I've got nothing better to do and I don't want a friends thread to be unanswered.
-- Aja

stevem (blueski), Friday, 6 February 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

the hilarity continues!

1. Spongebob Squarepants End Credits Theme
2. Super Chicken
3. Munsters
4. Gigantor
5. Kids in the Hall (Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet)
6. Norm (Doug & the Slugs' "Too Bad")
7. This Hour Has 22 Minutes (serious news magazine them, but with kazoos)
8. Batman (my phone at work sorta sounds like it, doo-dooo!)
9. Magilla Gorilla
10. Magnum P.I.
-- Huckadelphia

You like the SpongeBob end credits the most?
That's awful

-- Aja

Uh, hey, I've never said anything about your shitty taste in music.
-- Huckadelphia

(sorry i don't know why i find that ENTIRE thread so amusing - i guess it's time for me to leave work and to the pub)

stevem (blueski), Friday, 6 February 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I've got nothing better to do and I don't want a friends thread to be unanswered.
-- Aja

That's not that funny.

I did intend it to be funny, but I didn't think it turned out to be that funny.

Aja (aja), Friday, 6 February 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Look, we'll decide what's funny, capisce?

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Aja, the story of you and Alex's friendship is Free Willy for the internet generation.

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate Free Willy!!!!

Aja (aja), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm howling reading the Mini-Donuts thread... Ah, young love!

Prude (Prude), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

But he called me a hippy!

Aja (aja), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)


"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flow in you" = the Bible favors wack MCs

-- Thomas Tallis (tallis4...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The last breakup I had was in college. As I was walking to see my gf and hang out, I saw in her window and saw her making out with one of my friends. It was a crushing experience.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 5th, 2003.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jesus christ chris that's awful/so doo-wop.
-- g.cannon (misterhungr...), February 5th, 2003.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, my friends and I broke into an impromptu "For The Longest Time" by Billy Joel.
-- Chris V. (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 5th, 2003.

webcrack (music=crack), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

just buy some fucking oranges
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 6th, 2004.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

oh wait you live in england now...buy some uh organ meats
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 6th, 2004.

dean! (deangulberry), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

dolphins are the assholes of the ocean.
-- Emilymv (emilyventer...), February 6th, 2004 3:00 AM. (Emilymv)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan is the king of this thread.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't try it, Nipper.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

It occurs to me that I would have been so happy to see Ronan do that rant live. :-(

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It would make a great song.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Omnipotent Baby remix of "Born Slippy," right there.

DON'T TRY IT. YOU DON'T TRY IT. AND YOU, DON'T TRY IT EITHER. HEY, DON'T TRY IT. NED, DON'T TRY IT. LUKA, I HOPE
YOU DON'T TRY IT. MATOS DON'T FUCKING TRY IT. JESS I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN, *DON'T* TRY IT. WHAT DO YOU
MEAN YOU USE A TOOTHBRUSH, I'LL FUCKING DO YOU IN, DON'T TRY IT. TIM F DON'T TRY IT, SO YOU HAVE A BLOG, I
HAVE A FIST. MARK C DON'T TRY IT, YOU ARE BALD. YOU ENJOY RICE? FUCKING NAZI SCUM DON'T TRY IT. TOM DON'T
TRY IT, I WILL PUT THE "IS" BETWEEN THE LETTERS FT AND CONNECT IT WITH YOUR FACE. STEVEM DON'T TRY IT, YOUR
FACE WILL BE A MASHUP.


Look at me Matos
What do you mean use a toothbrush
At Tottenham Court Road
You enjoy rice fucking Nazi scum
Talking to the most Stevem
I ever met
Shouting dont' try it don't try it
Shouting don't try it don't try it
Shouting don't try it don't try it
Shouting don't try it don't try it
Shouting fucking do you in
Fucking do you in
Fucking do you in
Fucking do you
Shouting don't try it don't try it
Fucking do you in
Fucking do you in
So many things to see and do
in the tube hole
Your face will be a mashup
Fucking do you in going back
to Romford
Hi Mark C you are bald
So you have a blog
I have a fist

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like an Underworld/MC Pitman mashup!

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd pay money!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

What the hell IS that?

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Your future.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Whether you like it or not.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Doubtless this will keep going but in the meantime:

Rosemary, you're kidding, right? 6 pints = 96 oz. We're talking $5.29, and no less than $3.79 on sale.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

I am serious! "Tropicana Pure Premium 96oz. Juice 1/2 Price 1.49 You Save 1.50 MFR"

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

YOU SAVE 1.50 MOTHERFUCKER!

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Oh dear, Ned, you've just added a whole new meaning to the Shop-Rite flyer.

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

motherfuckers retail price.

-- martin m. (marti...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

"You got the motherfucker's guarantee RIGHT HERE."

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

This reminds me of Samuel Jackson Ale.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

What's the motherfucker's retail price on mini-donuts?

-- martin m. (marti...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Quentin Tarantino's Pulped Orange Juice

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

mmmmm mini-donuts

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Quentin Tarantino's Pulped Orange Juice

Which is actually just everybody else's juice repackaged and resold.

-- martin m. (marti...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

rosemary is right this oj is always on sale

-- vahid (vfoz...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Which is actually just everybody else's juice repackaged and resold.

Which Momus will then refuse to buy for the way it portrays oranges.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

(Without having tasted it first.)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

"There's something inherently conservative about the taste of orange juice...which is one of the reasons I prefer the 'otherness' of lime juice".

-- El Diablo Momustico (nicolew1...), February 6th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 February 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

from the best fortune cookies thread:

You will be hungry again in 25 minutes.
-- dean! (dea...), February 6th, 2004 1:20 PM. (deangulberry)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 6 February 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

here is a graphical representation of the balls yr trippin
http://pirin.viskom.oeaw.ac.at/~leon/images/serge-colored-balls.gif

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 6th, 2004 4:33 AM. (electricsound)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 6 February 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't worry, Alex, it happens to all of us;-)
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), February 6th, 2004 4:11 PM. (latebloomer)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no, it happens to you two and no one else.
-- Huckadelphia (handsomishbo...), February 6th, 2004 4:11 PM. (Horace Mann)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 6 February 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

all I wanted to do today was apply for a job and make it to the laughy board!
I AM A SUCCESS!!!

Huckadelphia (Horace Mann), Friday, 6 February 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Because my friends and I play the "in bed" game with these fortunes (ie, append "in bed" to the end of the fortune), the two best ones I've ever received are:
Animals make the best friends; they ask no questions and pass no judgements.

Every exit is an entrance to new experiences.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 6th, 2004.

simple but effective.

Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 6 February 2004 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

In Photoshop, go to Image>Adjustments>Hue/Saturation, select Greens and slide the Saturation slider to the left.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 6th, 2004.

I'm gonna try it myself!

jazz odysseus, Friday, 6 February 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

how can you let my baby die
when abortionists and gays don't fry?
50 Cent can beat the bullet
but my daughter's life is shorter than a mullet?

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), February 6th, 2004

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 6 February 2004 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHAHA

stevem (blueski), Friday, 6 February 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

That picture of Rumsfeld and then

Fuckupallhopeofnormaldiplomaticrelationswithothercountries like an egyptian...

-- teeny (teen...), February 4th, 2004.

Begs2Differ, Saturday, 7 February 2004 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

michael pitt was bad in this movie

everyone was bad in this movie

this movie is to the french new wave (the romance of which i've never really bought into anyway, none of my favorite films are from that era, chachun a son gout i guess) what forrest gump is to american history

but forrest gump was better

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 6th, 2004.

the girl is stacked though if that's your idea of consolation

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 6th, 2004.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 7 February 2004 06:58 (twenty-one years ago)

what band is kevin shields in? I dont like andrew wk
-- panda (babby6...), February 6th, 2004 7:11 AM. (latebloomer)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he's in hawkwind
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 6th, 2004 9:36 AM. (electricsound)

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 7 February 2004 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

From the "GOTHICK 4 LIFE" thread:

I was just reading this work of GENIUS, when the shop bell went, so I got up to see who my newest customers were, and it was 2 FUCKING GOTHS!!!! hard and dark like my fucking soul haha, it was really hard to keep a straight face after reading that, but then the male goth sez "have you got any cheesegraters?" right? so I say yes, and he says, and I quote his exact words - "I want the finest one you've got", so I reply, barely keeping it together "it's just a cheesegrater" and the female half starts laughing (NON-GOTH!! NON-GOTH!!) and now I'm sitting here feeling considerably weirded out!!

-- Pashmina (pashmin...), February 7th, 2004 9:35 AM. (later)

NA (Nick A.), Saturday, 7 February 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)


Aw, doggie.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 7th, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)


confirming urban music's place at the heart of popular culture

"This reporter then looked up to confirm the sky was blue, asked the Pope if he was Catholic and observed a bear defecating in the woods."

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 7th, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

my roommate uses up dish detergent really quickly. this is because instead of putting a few drops on the sponge and then washing all the dishes (like a sane human being), she takes a dish, pours the detergent all over it, and then rubs it with the sponge. for each seprarate item. and silverware.

i don't know how to tell her that she is doing it ALL WRONG without horribly offending her because obviously she was taught, probably by someone who has some sort of sentimental value in her mind, a parent, say, to wash dishes this way. thus, clearly the whole family is psychotic.

anyway, yes, maybe your roommate is wiping ALL WRONG, you should sit him down and address it.

-- j c (foreignfishe...) (webmail), February 8th, 2004. (j c)

Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 8 February 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Would you like to come in for a bowl of cresm, kitty? ;-)
-- mei (meirion.lewi...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meow!
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*purrrr*
-- mei (meirion.lewi...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*rubs ear with paw*
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you lickl your butts too?
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lick
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ew. stop that.
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kitty cats do that
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ew .
go away.
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's okay Orbit, Aja is a dog and we all know what _they_ do to amuse themselves!
-- mei (meirion.lewi...), January 31st, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not a dog. I don't even like dogs. I like cats. I miss my cat. She's been dead for a couple of years.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), January 31st, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 8 February 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

the nu ilm critical thinktank has exposed an unseen hypocrisy!! good work, kids!! 'boy detective - 25 cents - no case too small'

-- $$ (...), February 7th, 2004 3:28 PM. (later)

TURN TO PAGE 144 FOR THE ANSWER:

''but ms. spears COULDN'T have been performing at the teen pop awards when she claims she was!', encylopedia brown shouted. the crowd gasped. britney sneered back, 'you dont have any proof, you brat!' 'oh but i do, ms spears. you see, you claimed before that you were a teen pop artist because you were said to have 'only one drop of black blood' in you. but in my research, i found that american slave law says thats more than enough for you to be considered r&b, NOT teen pop. case closed.'

-- $$ (...), February 7th, 2004 3:33 PM. (later)q

cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:53 (twenty-one years ago)


In ILE, it's easier to forget that the person who is making whimsical/amusing/insightful posts is the person you wanted to throttle to unconsciousness for saying your favorite rock band should be violently killed.

-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), February 6th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rock bands should be gently killed, with feathers if possible.

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 6th, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Sunday, 8 February 2004 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

The Wrath of Aja on ILM and ILE

j4n (Wintermute), Sunday, 8 February 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

heh, possible single of the year

stevem (blueski), Sunday, 8 February 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't call it a "wrath." But come on! Why single me out of evey one here.

Do I have to ask it?

Do you hate me?

Aja (aja), Sunday, 8 February 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

She should have written "moveon.org" in magic marker on her breast.

-- morris pavilion (xp75hid0...), February 5th, 2004 11:03 AM. (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

or MAKE TRADE FAIR

-- teeny (teen...), February 5th, 2004 11:28 AM. (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

FREE MUMIA

-- may pang (pange...), February 5th, 2004 11:53 AM. (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

HI JEANNE

-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), February 5th, 2004 11:59 AM. (later)

Arthur (Arthur), Sunday, 8 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

MORE ASPHYXIATING OUT LOUD HOORAY

stevem (blueski), Sunday, 8 February 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Dr. Dre (feat. Snoop, Nathan Lane, MC Ren) - Hakuna Matata (And Everybody's Celebratin')
-- bnw (rilke...), February 8th, 2004 11:11 AM

Sym (shmuel), Sunday, 8 February 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

LOL!

Here's a snippet from the BBC Radio 6 thingy:
Paul Morley: Tell me something, do you think Nick is ever jealous or surprised that he isn't a success like the Pet Shop Boys or Divine Comedy?
Eddi Fiegel: Well, I think there's definitely a Pet Shop Boys comparison with that track and I think the Divine Comedy certainly have lifted and borrowed a lot of the literary allusions and style of his performing, so yes, I think he probably is quite...
Paul: Is he seething somewhere in the middle distance?
Eddi: I think he may be seething deeply in Tokyo as we speak, actually. To his credit he's carried on, he hasn't seethed to the extent that he's got himself into an even darker corner than he ever was before and has stopped working. He's still turning out these albums, which is to his credit...
Paul: That's interesting, because one of his heroes, one of his mentors if you like, Howard Devoto, went into a kind of Rimbaud silence faced with the fact that no-one was interested in him showing off his references, but Nick, Momus, does keep going, doesn't he. Is he too clever for his own good, do you think?... You never know, a not-clever, not-ironic Momus may well put him where he wants to.. where he should be, really.

-- Momus (nic...), February 8th, 2004.

pete s, Monday, 9 February 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Big Boi sprawls in an expensive lounge chair. Blunt smoke spirals up from a nearby ashtray, and the light from a giant aquarium wobbles around the otherwise dim room. Bloodshot eyes follow the lazy movements of Billy Ocean the shark.
The cell phone is ringing, the pitbulls are barking, but Big Boi doesn't hear any of that. He paid a lot of money for his speakers, and they make it sound like Kate Bush is standing behind his chair, leaning forward to sing directly into his ear.

"Amd if I only could, I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get him to swap our places," she sings. Big Boi shakes his head and chuckles at this notion, then stares into the depths of his snifter. He can see the shark's tiny reflection circling in the cognac.

"Be running up that road, be running up that hill, with no problems..."


-- High Cholesterol (wavethemaroun...) (webmail), February 9th, 2004. (bastarda)

the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 9 February 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Eat, Ned. Grow big with food.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 8th, 2004 9:57 AM. (colin s barrow)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're looking well Ned, have you increased in mass??
-- kodos (yoursuperio...), February 8th, 2004 10:25 AM. (blueski)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her potion was subtle, yet potent. Never was he heard from again
-- Øystein H-O (poholse...), February 9th, 2004 11:32 AM. (Øystein H-O)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey!
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 9th, 2004 11:44 AM. (Ned)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ragout of Raggett.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 9th, 2004 12:56 PM. (colin s barrow)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welsh raggett.
Raggett stew.

Beef nedallions.

-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 9th, 2004 1:22 PM. (colin s barrow)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have fears.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 9th, 2004 1:23 PM. (Ned)

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 9 February 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Jo Whiley has a daughter called India. That's how credible she is.
-- MikeyG

India than thou!
-- N.

stevem (blueski), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to post that one, it is funny.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I kind of feel bad cause I think it was implied in Mikey's post anyway.

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i am too dumb to have recognised that implication, esp. on a Monday morning

stevem (blueski), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It's OK chaps, we'll share it.

MikeyG (MikeyG), Monday, 9 February 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

This picture:

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/kinkajj.jpg

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 9 February 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the look of the one on the left that's most classic -- even though it's all the same head!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 February 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

From the Mail Order Brides thread:

It turns marriage into a job. Guess who's the boss?
-- Kerry (dymaxiaOU...), February 9th, 2004 3:17 PM. (dymaxia)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Tony Danza?
-- Prude ()@(), February 9th, 2004 3:17 PM. (Prude)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 9 February 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, aren't Blur British anymore?? (I can never keep up with them.)
-- chuck (cedd...), February 9th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I think they're pan-Africanist now or something
-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 9th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

They are kings of shitworld.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 9th, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 9 February 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop snorting coke on the job you drug fiend.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 9th, 2004.


-----------------------------------------------

I have three kids! I go through this every December!!!
-- chuck (cedd...), February 9th, 2004.

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 9 February 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's a link to the only erotic story I know that features Meg White.

http://www.c-s-s-a.com/newsite/story.php?story=AIR12.html&celeb=Meg%20White

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), February 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dom, when i have time, i worry about you

-- mark p (mark.p****...), February 9th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 February 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

You think of wanking animals when you eat, Custos? Each to his own.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), February 9th, 2004 8:52 PM. (Mark C) (later)

RJG (RJG), Monday, 9 February 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i just love what you've done with your hair

STARRY SARAH I KISS YOU

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 February 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

(probably been done before, but, shit, its bound 4 da reload)

HEY MISSY I WZ WANDERIN WHATS UR FAVE SONG MY FAVE IS 'IM LIVIN IN THE 80S' BY KILLING JOE???
50 CENT I WANT UR BOD

-- pumkin (PumkinPowa09...), January 4th, 2004.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

enjoy myself, in friendly company and with alcohol and cigarettes
Does this translate to mastrubation in a bar.
*apologies in advance RJR. I'm a bit drunk*

-- Speedy Gonzalas (MajorTomIsaJunki...), February 10th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"'In San Francisco you have sex,' said a friend. 'In New York you wait for people to come.'" - Andrew Holleran

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...) (webmail), February 10th, 2004. (ros

Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/pissingdeath.jpg

-- Kingfish Funyun (kingfis...), February 10th, 2004 2:19 PM. (Kingfish)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

(cracked me up, that did, being the big Sims freak I am)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

yay, butt sex!
...oh, wrong thread
-- t\'\'t (phon...), February 10th, 2004 7:45 PM.

Sym (shmuel), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 08:06 (twenty-one years ago)

But anyway, this was the best internet page of last year..
Dean Friedman meets Half Man Half Biscuit

http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/guest/2003/030808edinburgh/Friedman.html


I know it's totally against the rules (self posting, not directly from a thread) but it's way too awesome (used that word twice in my life now) for you not to see.

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

one of my male friends very ostentatiously opened a door for me this weekend for me to walk through and then smacked me on the ass

-- felicity (felicityredwel...), October 14th, 2002

N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

the world has changed so much since then...

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

The Rough Guide to "The Model"
Kraftwerk - The Model
The Cardigans - Das Model
Zoot Woman - The Model
Big Black - The Model
The Balanescu Quartet - The Quartet
Rammstein - Das Model
Hikashu - The Model
Ride - The Model
Belle & Sebastian - The Model (Live at Haldern)
Snakefinger - The Model
Sopor Aeternus - Modela Est


-- Nik (emailn...) (webmail), February 1st, 2004. (link)

(yeah its a typo, it just reminded me of those themed compilations where there'd be one track that did not qualify)

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I will be doing something special, this valentine's day.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 10th, 2004 8:16 PM. (RJG)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


That sounds kind of ominous, RJG. Are you planning some kind of mass murder?
-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 10th, 2004 8:17 PM. (nickdastoor)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you'll see.
; )

-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 10th, 2004 8:20 PM. (RJG)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I mean, no, not really.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 10th, 2004 8:20 PM. (RJG)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I think getting a Valentine's card from yr mum is quite sweet.
-- MarkH (mark_e_heste...) (webmail), February 10th, 2004. (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moderator, please delete MarkH
-- Sarah (starr...) (webmail), February 10th, 2004. (link)

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"look, my boob!"
"hey, isn't that my boob?"

For some reason I heard that in my like the chorus to Dizzee's I Luv You, i.e.

"Ain't that your boob?"
"Ain't got no boob."
"You was with that boob."
"It was just any boob."

ad naseum

-- Jordan (j0rdanc0h3...), February 10th, 2004. (later) (link)

nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

All of trife's comments on the pazz and jop thread have been pretty funny.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

how did Jabba sloven up so much between IV and VI?
-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 10th, 2004 11:19 AM. (Horace Mann) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Easy Mac
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 10th, 2004 11:20 AM. (Nicole) (later) (link)

teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

All these years and I finally made the funny thread, *sniff*. Now I can finally stop posting on ILX.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, get back here.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

HAN SHOT FIRST
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), February 10th, 2004. (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Han Solo took pre-emptive action to affect regime change among Greedo's molecules under reliable intelligence that Greedo had a weapon of Han-Destruction.
-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 10th, 2004. (later) (link)

nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

these are the things I can't tell my sort-of GF....
I think I like D. Leone for two reasons: a) I dated a girl named Dominique in college who was awesome and loved good music, and b) DL is a great writer.

Plus the name Dominique is just a great name.

that is all

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), February 10th, 2004 3:20 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, this IS evilly entertaining. Sure he's a prick, but this is very nice to see.

Considering this nitwit used to be a host of a tabloid entertainment show (essentially he was Maury Povich without the charisma or John Tesh without the musical talent*) it's amazing to me that anyone takes him seriously...as if he had a doctorate in sociology or political theory or somesuch.
Besides, he didn't flash his nipple-stud covered man-tit to the universe. Ergo == boring.
* == I'm being sarcastic about this part.

-- Lord Custos Omicron (l.custo...) (webmail), February 10th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Actor Colin Farrell is recovering from foot injury in Bangkok

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Colin Farrell was recovering from a foot injury after he slipped and fell on the stairway of his Bangkok hotel over the weekend, his publicist said Monday. The 27-year-old actor is in Thailand filming the epic Alexander.
Farrell was fitted with a cast and released from a hospital, publicist Susan Patricola said. He went back to the set Monday and filming for the movie was expected to wrap up in two days, she said.
Farrell stars as the Macedonian conqueror Alexander the Great in the film, along with Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins and Jared Leto.

filming the epic Alexander. = enjoying the services of teenage hookers

slipped and fell on the stairway of his Bangkok hotel over the weekend = was beat up for trying to get celebrity discount

-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...) (webmail), February 10th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

'there was a lot of music last year, but one trend was undeniable- when it comes to hit singles, 2003 was the year of johnny cash and fountains of wayne'
-- $ (...), February 10th, 2004 11:52 AM. (later)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

least now i know what it's like to have the skin ripped from your limbs by windblown sand, sand i might add that is also getting into your tuna sandwich and making it taste rather *gritty* and *altogether unpleasant*. in such circumstances, it is hard to read maps, hard to pick the sweetcorn out of your tuna, hard to care whether your part is "straight" or even "on the right (meaning "correct as per your usual custom," not starboard) side of your damn head, hard to keep your mind on something else so you won't let her down (again), hard to remember to say "please." in fact, it's so bloody painful that i doubt very much whether many people would even be able to focus on the extent to which they'd let themselves and others down in these respects. i, for one, would steel myself against the agony by wrapping my brain-grease hot and tight around that one name: "lynskey." lynskey the destroyer, lynskey who has betrayed all of us and everything we killed nazis for, lynskey who puts his lips on your straw when you go to get napkins, lynskey who makes tiny deposits to your checquing account just to play with your mind, lynskey whose name is french but which is spelt in the alsatian manner, lynskey who could have saved us when we stumbled but sprayed the gym class with shandy instead, lynskey whom we loved like an angry goiter -- pop, he was gone, or as if.
but i digress. this is all like biting, high-speed sand now.

-- hurley (amiche...), February 9th, 2004.

pete s, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

only detroit would think of bunging an in-line V8 into cattle and turning the blighters loose at silverstone. my god the oversteer nearly ripped my toenails out and to say the transmission was *vague* throughout the midband would be like caroling to a rail-car of urine soaked frog pensioners. but the doppler from the pits was to die for . . . .
-- hurley (amiche...), February 10th, 2004.

pete s, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

that is all

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), February 10th, 2004 3:20 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)

-- mark p (mark.p****...), February 10th, 2004.>>>


it's like an internet version of The Crying Game =(

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha! I got a rez at Ocen Front for Friday as a backup...and my mask of sanity is slowly slipping.
-- @d@ml (nordi
cskilla@hotmail.com), February 10th, 2004 2:32 PM. (nordicskilla)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

You beat me to it!

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello all. I've been looking for a new forum to post in and this place seems pretty good so I think I'll stick around for a while and see how I like it.
No doubt bashing Pitchfork is good fun, but this year, for the first time, I really think their list was three times better than the top fifty P&J. I don't expect most of my favorites to top either (Ulrich Schnauss would have got #1 if you're wondering), but there were so many albums in the top 50 of P&J I really, really don't like including very high placers like 50 Cent, Fountains of Wayne (Valley Winter Song aside), Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and Ted Leo. Really, the only high placer on Pitchfork's I can't tolerate is The Rapture.
I don't see why more Pitchfork staffers couldn't vote. Sure, I couldn't give a flying fuck what Brent D or Schrieber think, but many of the new writers are excellent. They've managed to change Pfork from an occasional visit when bored to a daily routine for me. But I'm glad at least Scott Plagenhoef got to vote since I've found my tastes match up with his uncannily.

-- Nick Perich (drpenguin...), February 10th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Nick Perich, let's never ever hang out.
-- Matthew Perpetua (fluxequalsra...), February 10th, 2004. (later)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

He's wrong about it being three times better, but it is better.

Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop stealing my winky. You don't know how to handle it properly.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 10th, 2004 3:42 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Someday, SOMEDAY we will finally furrow Alex's face into one continuous spirally eyebrow

-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), February 10th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned if you keep saying that there's gonna be no Ragget action anytime soon.

Patrick Kinghorn, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"newbies who learned to write from literary theorists"

i feel like that kid in that anti-drug ad who starts freaking out on his dad, yelling 'I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!'

-- maura (maur...), February 10th, 2004 12:12 PM. (maura)

And all permutations thereof so far.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought radiohead have a disc in the works for a japan release..
-- bill stevens (bscrubbin...), February 11th, 2004.

---------------------------------------------------------

oh yeah and all we have to do to get it is go to japan!!!!!!!!
HOW EASY IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Dude (Greekeyebro...), February 11th, 2004

dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

oh man that Maura line is great. Haven't thought about that ad in ages.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Boy In Da Cornhole

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), February 11th, 2004. (later)

(I really should have killed myself at 16)

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), February 11th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

mean!

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, true.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess, your post on that thread shortly after that exchange had me IN TEARS.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is making me feel the need to do something more constructive with my time, like watch Cops or something.

-- Former Supposed So Called Nihilist Teenage Drug Disco Addiction Counselor (current31...), February 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I love how the only time I can make this thread is by either referencing forgotten wrestlers or my past as a depressive.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, I didn't type "and what the fuck is a failure, orbit, you fucking bitch? tell me right now or I don't know what I'll do."
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 11th, 2004 8:08 PM. (later)

the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

just the leftfieldness of it really

the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

right.

*puts esoj on the list*

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

for valentine's cards?

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG you are boring.

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:26 (twenty-one years ago)

boring and sane.

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

look you drunken Scots twat i am NOT in the mood for your predictable boring crap. go pester someone else. get the message? piss off!

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:28 (twenty-one years ago)

look you drunken Scots twat i am NOT in the mood for your predictable boring crap. go pester someone else. get the message? piss off!
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 11th, 2004 4:28 AM. (Orbit) (later)

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Good move. Microsoft are just a bunch of overrated smacked up fags with better than average networking skills.
-- Shaylo Pezflick (shayl...), September 26th, 2003.


[snip]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"smacked up fags"?
-- s1utsky (parrisactava...), September 26th, 2003.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heroin and Homos Rampant in Redmond!
http://www.ab-fab.nl/graphics/abgood.jpg
-- Aaron A. (__...), September 26th, 2003.

donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/patsygates.jpg

donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 05:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Somehow strangely unworkable.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

pretty much all of

so i just heard dizzee rascal on the fake radio station pa at wal-mart

Kingfish Beatbox Botox Funktion (Kingfish), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

hey i just heard dizzee rascal coming out of my ass! amazing!
-- dean! (dea...), February 11th, 2004 2:09 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wow. did he have you at "I Luv U"?
-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), February 11th, 2004 2:11 AM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

orbit-bashing is soo 2003
-- Viva La Sam

-------------------------------------

by orbit-bashing, I assume you mean orbit bashing.
-- RJG

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

rjg so fucking owns

cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

i am sandwiched between a johnson and a wang on this list.

-- mark p (mark.p****...), February 11th, 2004 10:26 AM. (Mark P) (later)

cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Good God, that child is like a mattress tied into a human shape with string.
-- Anna

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

LOSING. MY. SHIT.

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris' "fries" remark did me in

cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

when i lived in boston my wife decided it was a good idea to book me a haircut at a true upscale salon. $50 for a mens cut. I looked like Guy Smiley when I was done.
-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 11th, 2004 10:20 AM. (Chris V) (later)

Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

haha she asked me if i wanted to shorten up my sideburns and i briefly thought of ned
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 11th, 2004 4:50 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

then i said "no".
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 11th, 2004 4:50 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later)


(this did make me laugh but I also got the impression of a genuinely happy, laughing Jess and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy)

Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

You'll be fine, Jess. I reckon you'd be a good dad.

-- Markelby (boyincorduroy@yahoo

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Ian's post on the Probot ILM thread, for real.

Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

After having prompted various 'tunes you can't get out of your head' memories for the Australian crowd, I succeeded in causing my own destruction:

would happily pay for your round, sir. But I am here. Hm, could you PayPal somebody drink money and how quickly could it get transferred?

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 12th, 2004. (later)

i haven't had a drink since last saturday. i am saving myself for whitehouse. if you wire the money ned it should arrive by then.

-- mullygrubber (tinydemon...), February 12th, 2004. (later)

I HAVE A DREAM.

There, a little Abba to hum now.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 12th, 2004. (later)

*strangles Ned*

-- mullygrubber (tinydemon...), February 12th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 February 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I urge you all, particularly you young people out there, to allow for the possibility that Letting the Lord into your Life is a blessing!

-- troughman (tinydemon...), February 12th, 2004.


ok

-- jody (jod...), February 12th, 2004.

Allyzay, Thursday, 12 February 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I just don't understand who the hell goes in and ransacks dirty laundry and rotten food in a fridge. Freaks, obviously. The (stolen!! by me!!) Tiffany lamp worth hundreds of dollars, however, is still there??? Obviously broken and speakerless stereo gone though. WTF? And...Christmas ornaments?
-- Allyzay (iguessitmeansthe...), February 12th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spray paint some swastikas on the walls and call it a day. A glorious day.
-- dean! (dea...), February 12th, 2004.

pete s, Thursday, 12 February 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I cannot help being a sucker
-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), February 12th, 2004.

omg, Thursday, 12 February 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Yo Kanye, Keep yo head up baby boy! And remember where you be from. I'm a dropout, you're a dropout...We know the street, and there be some frontin' internet peeps who act like they down, but don't know shit. Don't listen to those internet dick suckerz who otherwise listen to Orange Juice, the Wedding Present and Sebadoh. Fuck those rockist, Morrissey-missing jerks. O-N-E.
-- hatorade (hatorad...), January 9th, 2004

omg, Thursday, 12 February 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Hot chicks are so hot.

-- ModJ (Mod...), February 12th, 2004.

TOMBOT, Thursday, 12 February 2004 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

With my new haircut, this is a picture of me feeding the cats, yesterday.

http://www.latoys.com/playmobil/images/s4605.jpg


-- Sarah (starr...), February 10th, 2004 8:45 PM. (starry)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Awww playmobil cats! The perfect pet.
-- Archel (dilettant...), February 10th, 2004 8:48 PM. (Archel)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shame about the nuclear explosions in the distance.
-- Alfie (alfi...), February 10th, 2004 9:55 PM. (Alfie)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 12 February 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

(funny simply b/c of WHO is saying this [what?])

Some of them ask weird questions. I hate it when I say a word and they don't even know what it means. Then I have to explain it to them.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 12th, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 12 February 2004 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you read the rest of the thread?

Aja (aja), Thursday, 12 February 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

If some gay lord goes down in a minute or so and I have the wife's food vouchers on it then I'll usually pick the git up and smash a banjo over his face.

From bare-knuckle fighting. The library shook.

Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah that does seem much more hilarious the fifth time you read it

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I trot, with my tits proudly out, thank you. At nights, I dare a sweater.

-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), February 10th, 2004.


You dare it to what??

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 10th, 2004

Allyzay, Thursday, 12 February 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

from the ILM thread about Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill":


This song seems so mysterious, so freighted with meaning, it's almost cabalistic.
So WTF is it actually about??
-- lee ward (mrleewar...), February 8th, 2004 5:21 PM.


fucking.
-- g--ff (misterhungr...), February 8th, 2004 5:24 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 12 February 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Bastard copying my name - you can't copy ME. I chew nails for breakfast, right?
-- Nutty Nigel (nuttynige...), February 12th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

biting one's nails is a bad habit
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 12th, 2004.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

From the latest Kerry thread:

eat two dicks, to cover each other
then you eat three dicks and, oh brother!
you're in dicks up to your ears!
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...) (webmail), February 12th, 2004. (later)

I could kiss Tracer for making me giggle....

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha, I mean, my crush archetype is tall, skinny, long dark shaggy hair, long face and large nose. Which is exactly my father. Sigmund who?
-- The River Kate (masonicboo...) (webmail), February 12th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

apparently, they closed down "Mr Toad's Wild Ride". They can burn, for all i care now.

-- Kingfish Beatbox Botox Funktion (

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

haha!

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Bill and Ted's Excellent Political Adventure:

Bush to O'Reilly: "That's funny, you suck too, fuckwad."
please let this happen...

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), February 12th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 12 February 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm gonna need *two* haircuts to wear my new shorts! (not really)
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 12th, 2004 4:00 PM. (spencermfi)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not even sure what that means.

My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Put on a Speedo and look down, Huck. If it looks like you put a wig down your pants it's time for a clipping.

Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

but TWO haircuts?

My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

one for the frank and one for the beans?

Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a pretty easy time of it overall. I had more than just novocaine, as they gave me an IV shot, but I was definitely half conscious part of the time -- half conscious and hallucinating. Everything seemed to be much bigger than it was. I saw the dentist and his assistants hovering over me, but with their white clothes I was convinced they were chefs, busy cooking some kind of soup in my mouth.

-- the krza (thekrza...) (webmail), February 12th, 2004. (krza)

Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

uh, my frank doesn't need a haircut. but we can drop this line of discussion now.

My Huckleberry Friend (Horace Mann), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

New Beastie Boys

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

can anyone give me some info on the new beastie boys album ?

-- steven schenk (fcstevenag...), February 12th, 2004 4:14 PM. (skenker)

Answers

it's new
-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 12th, 2004 4:16 PM. (Horace Mann)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's by the Beastie Boys
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), February 12th, 2004 4:18 PM. (vassifer)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

REVIVE, SCWEINHUNDS!

Alex in NYC from the ILM Scorpions C/D thread.

nickn (nickn), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

...stuffed animal themed fashion accessories.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Cprek you're back in the will.

-- nickalicious

stevem (blueski), Thursday, 12 February 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

A winner is El Diablo:

---

I should be ashamed of myself, but what are some good Valentine's Day presents? Ideally "off-beat," inexpensive, not explicitly valentine's themed. I dont think roses are going to work for me, unfortunately.

I hope she doesn't look me up through Google, otherwise I'm in trouble.

-- Chris H. (chrisherber...), February 12th, 2004. (later)

Answers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Print this post out onto antiqued parchment paper:

Oh yes, this article is right on. My college is infested with thick- framed jerk-off who ought to know better. I also didn't know that anyone other than myself had noticed the way that these people call everyone "boys" and "girls" (though it's mostly the men that get this treatment).
I myself decided to dress in a generic indie rock fashion, with the "ironic" t-shirts, the tight courdoroy pants, the repulsive late- 70s tennis shoes, et cetera. I couldn't bring myself to wear the buddy holly glasses, but that's immaterial. The point is, I've never gotten more action in my life. I didn't realize that "hey man, I love your shoes" is what passes for a pick-up line among the bed-head indie tarts.

I don't even listen to indie rock, I hate it, I listen to rap. Not even that college "hip-hop" turntablist snooze crap, but real shoot- em-up die-nigga RAP rap. But so long as I wear my little tight shirts and maintain the perfect slouch, it's all indie. Rap can be indie, reggae can be indie, and god knows disco can be indie. It's about looks, it's about sex, and that's all it's about.

Girls don't like music anyway. They're buying those $200 7-inches because they're cute, and they think of them as a lifestyle accessory more than a vehicle for music. It's girls that fuel emo and any other type of music made by crying pussies in red Saucony shoes.

And with God as my witness, I swear that when I'm able to perfect my indie rock style, I'll be able to do anything I like. I will masturbate and poop in the middle of the road with complete impunity. Hey, it's all indie.

-- Chris H. (chrisherber...), May 4th, 2001.


-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 12th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shit.
-- Chris H. (chrisherber...), February 12th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 12 February 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

MY GOD, THAT'S CLASSIC

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

you are suggesting he buy her a toddler?

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yes

-- jody (jod...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

where do you get those?

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kids R Us. Duh.

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well when a man and a woman love each other very much...

-- ipsofacto (heyniceti...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and she "forgets" to take her little pills...

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

....her tummy begins to rise....

-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

....a thermometer is then inserted to see if the baby is done...

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), February 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...serve cold.

-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), February 13th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX should collect its resources and buy Disney. We could do Bambi RIGHT.

-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ew.

-- teeny (teen...), February 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 00:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Freddie, B.B., and Albert King walk into a bar. Alan King is bartending, and so is Larry... King Crimson is playing on the jukebox, while King Tubby busts a rhyme over "Larks Toungues in Aspic" ("A-beedley-beedley-bung, beedley-beedley-beedley-boy..." oh, maybe that was Yellow Man)... Anyway, a carriage horse from Lake George (coincidentally named "King") walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a drink (water on the rocks). Alan King says: "No problem, but why the long face?"
-- Noblio (No-N...), February 12th, 2004 8:24 PM. (link)

pete s, Friday, 13 February 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to send my buddy in before me with a quarter for the jukebox so I could walk in while "Papa Don't Take No Mess" was playing.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 12th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Except once he accidentally played Portishead and it all went to shit.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 12th, 2004. (later)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 13 February 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Y'know, Clinton bombed the shit out of Baghdad many a'time while in office. He just didn't invade.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 10th, 2004.


Just to be pedantic.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 10th, 2004.


Er, I'm being pedantic, not Clinton while he was bombing Baghdad.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 10th, 2004.


Duh.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 10th, 2004.

Allyzay, Friday, 13 February 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Dammit, I can't believe I forgot to copy that!

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA from the "What should I get for Valentine's Day?" thread:

take her somewhere nice

-- Emma williams (WELSHDRAGON...), February 13th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

like up the ass

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 13th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

If it hasn't been said, Ally's e-mail at the start of this whole thread always makes me laugh at least.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

And everything from this post down has me in tears.

"HOI HOI."

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Cruel but still:

---

This wasn't even funny six months ago.

-- Chris Ott (chris-ot...), February 13th, 2004. (later)

As opposed to your pitchfork piece you fucking moron?

-- 6767 (43...), February 13th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

DP was on form to-day, wasn't he?

(x-post)

Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 13 February 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Very much so, Pash, I will admit it.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

The mask is slipping, Brownell, much like the quality of your posts.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), February 28th, 2002.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The matter of the fact is that I am human and for god's sake, people like Gale make my day. In a bitter cynical world, just coming out and saying what you feel - it's almost beautiful in a strange sort of way - and I can't sit back and watch people attack her.
Marcello if you want to feel important read some George Bastille.

Mark I will email you....we should meet up. But I got to head out at the moment. Expect an email at the end of the day.

-- paul (orangecrushnapal...), February 28th, 2002.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is no mask there Marcello.
I was writing as characters before - and yes, the quality of the posts may be slipping because I no longer have a need to write in character. This is me. Like it or lump it's me.

-- paul (orangecrushnapal...), February 28th, 2002.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and marcello if you want to take me on as an enemy, feel free. i offered friendship but if you want to take me on as this dunno...object of scorn, beware, my words can crush and destroy people.
i would rather be friends.

but if you fuck me, you are going to take a three day japanese fecal porn orgy of constant fucking back.

paul.

-- paul (orangecrushnapal...), February 28th, 2002.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think Doom Patrol prob. means Georges Bataille.
-- Andrew L (andrewlittlefiel...), February 28th, 2002.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 13 February 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

julio you are a rotten socially retarded little shit for bringing that up as 'funny' (probably why i didnt hang out with you after the initial meeting). fuck you. and your 'life'.

johnny the saint, Friday, 13 February 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

and you know what? i thought 'wow, i'll never got those three hours of my life back' after hanging out with you - i found you so lame and weaselly.

jimmy the saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

You're not going to get that five minutes you spent taking a shit back either -- what's your point?

ModJ (ModJ), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

julio you are a rotten socially retarded little shit for bringing that up as 'funny' (probably why i didnt hang out with you after the initial meeting). fuck you. and your 'life'.
-- johnny the saint

--------------------------

and you know what? i thought 'wow, i'll never got those three hours of my life back' after hanging out with you - i found you so lame and weaselly.
-- jimmy the saints

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess is a wise man (and Julio rocks).

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is it that everyone else INSTANTLY knows Doomie's new psuedonym and I don't?

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, yes I am Jedi Skim-Reader and all, but still.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i guess they don't call this a circle jerk for nothing.

jimmy the saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh-kayyyyyyyyy...

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

welcome to our world

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

CHAKI

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i guess they don't call this a circle jerk for nothing.

Okay dude, I don't know what YOU'RE doing when you post to this thread and I am a happy camper because of it. Please do not napalm my parade.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 13 February 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

as you were...

*steps very quietly out of the room and shuts the door*

jimmy the saints, Friday, 13 February 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

posting on ILX under fake names

Calum Observer, Friday, 13 February 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

About the 700 year old Mickey:

looks more like a bear with circles over its head
-- Felonious Drunk (wangchungvsah...), February 13th, 2004 12:35 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or Patti LaBelle
-- Bryan (twp62y...), February 13th, 2004 12:44 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Friday, 13 February 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

70. Justin performed with Joey Fatone. Elvis performed as the Fat One.
-- rainman (ra...), February 13th, 2004.

pete s, Friday, 13 February 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

as you were...
*steps very quietly out of the room and shuts the door*

Oh, dandy! he's finally about to make strongo and blount their cards!

donut bitch (donut), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

(in reply to the "food pyramid" photo on the TGIF Atkins Menu thread)

Man, i would fry the shit out of that pyramid and pour some ranch on it.

-- dean! (dea...), February 13th, 2004 1:04 PM

Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 13 February 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)


(the same thread)


I am introducing the revolutionary new Patrin diet, which involves walking the fuck everywhere because you can't afford a car.
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), February 13th, 2004

kephm, Friday, 13 February 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

more greatness from the elvis/justin thread

53. both sport a curly pubus
-- p.j. (pjbucene...), February 13th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

52. Elvis speared pork. Justin porked Spears.
-- rainman (ra...), February 13th, 2004.

pete s, Saturday, 14 February 2004 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Luna is moved to comment on Tori Spelling:

I shall buy her an apple corer!

-- luna (luna_cee...), February 14th, 2004. (later)

Then use it on her little apple head!

-- luna (luna_cee...), February 14th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 14 February 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

that's beautiful!

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 14 February 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

continued:

But will you peel off the skin first?

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), February 14th, 2004 6:49 PM. (Ned) (later) (link)

Of course not - that's where the vitamins are.

-- luna

oops (Oops), Saturday, 14 February 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

And where is The Go?

At this very moment? Probably sharing a big fat bowl.

Aaron

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 14 February 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Also Texas is not the South. Texas is crappy.
-- adam (hexenductio...), February 14th, 2004.

anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Saturday, 14 February 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

julio you are a rotten socially retarded little shit for bringing that up as 'funny' (probably why i didnt hang out with you after the initial meeting). fuck you. and your 'life'.
-- johnny the saint
--------------------------

and you know what? i thought 'wow, i'll never got those three hours of my life back' after hanging out with you - i found you so lame and weaselly.
-- jimmy the saints

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 13th, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 14 February 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

actually dave stelfox's thread abt there not being many good discussions reminded me to search the word 'gale' and its a laugh riot!!! there's tons of great stuff there. she was a legend and its a shame I was only posting on ILM when she was more of a regular.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 14 February 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

down on yet another d. rascal http://www.vietgrove.com/images/hatorade.gif drinking fest, this from Dan:

I often imagine that people moon the screen after they submit posts to threads like this. It makes me chuckle.

-- Dan Perry (djperry@p


haha OTM.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 14 February 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Mmm, Iceland in the rain. Where are you staying, the cluster of hotels in the Laugarvelgfdsfsfdsfer valley? go to the thermal swimming pool nearby, it rocks.

-- DV (dirtyvica...) (webmail), February 14th, 2004. (dirtyvicar)

Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 14 February 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I heard to get Jay-Z back, Nas snuck on to Jay-Z's property and knocked on the door and ran and hid behind the bushes. And then supposedly Jay-Z came to the door (and of course he doesn't see Nas cause he's in the bushes!! haha!!) and he just looks confused cause no one's there. And then supposedly Jay-Z said "Hmm" and shut the door. And then supposedly Nas ran back home and told everybody about it and they were all like "HOLLA!!" and stuff. And then supposedly Nas decided to move cause he thought Jay-Z might realize who pulled that prank and be mad and come do something DRASTIC!! And then supposedly Nas moved somewhere in Maine for a while until things cooled down.
-- Johnny Badlees

stevem (blueski), Sunday, 15 February 2004 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

ha!

amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 15 February 2004 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)

He likes loads of people on an individual level, I'm very sure. Including himself.
-- Silly Sailor (countandre...), February 13th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hear that he's fairly non-commital with regards cheese
-- mentalist (pete...), February 13th, 2004.


---------------------------------------------------------------------

Cheese isn't a person you wacky liberal
-- Silly Sailor (countandre...), February 13th, 2004.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 15 February 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

everything in this thread:

This is the thread where we appreciate JESS!!!

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 15 February 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

koalas are GAY full stop, they are GAY

-- Bruce (bruce_bradfor...), April 16th, 2002 9:00 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 15 February 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

g'n'r's "mr. brownstone" is about bronski beat
-- cinniblount

g--ff (gcannon), Sunday, 15 February 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread is bizarre
-- Barry Bruner (brune...), February 15th, 2004 3:46 PM.

'this thread'
-- luna (luna_cee...), February 15th, 2004 3:47 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 15 February 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

So you have never had your period??
-- Dante-Cubed (pianoma...), February 15th, 2004 5:33 PM. (Sean3) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have.
Last year.

What a time!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 15th, 2004 5:36 PM. (aja) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

has ile finished imploding yet?
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 15th, 2004 5:36 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Monday, 16 February 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"I made a mistake because I was hungry" is a phrase I intend to use a lot from now on.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 16th, 2004.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 16 February 2004 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?"

-- Trayce (trayc...) (webmail), February 16th, 2004. (trayce)

Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 16 February 2004 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha... I should point out that was a quote from Donnie Darko, I didnt make that up :) But, hey!

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 16 February 2004 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Gothy girls were always fat! Listening to Fields of the Nephilim was like musical pies.
-- MikeyG (...), February 16th, 2004.

MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 16 February 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Lennie Briscoe is no John Munch.
-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 16th, 2004 11:44 AM.

John Munch is no Lars Mangros!
-- Fritz Wollner (fritzwollner5...), February 16th, 2004 11:48 AM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 16 February 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to be in a chalet w/ N. because I figure he would be an easier target, in sleep, for people to kill than I but, I suppose, there is less eating on him.

I am not mental and neither are my friends.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 16th, 2004.

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 16 February 2004 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Mike Piazza,

Please record a cover of Busta Rhymes' "C'mon All My Niggaz, C'mon All My Bitches."

-- Curt1s Stephens

oops (Oops), Monday, 16 February 2004 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

From the "It's Funny Because It's True" files, about the Fox show "The Littlest Bachelor":

This is just a straight ripoff of Phineas T. Barnum and the marriage of General Tom Thumb to Lavinia Warren.

-- Aimless (aimles...), February 16th, 2004 6:49 PM. (later)

NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I was very sad to discover that the Red House Painters lyric is not "New Jersey ate the whole world."
-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), February 15th, 2004 2:38 PM. (Curtis Stephens)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Spotting evidence of funny bones in Kiss is hard work.

this is so so true and yet so so befuddling as we are essentially talking about kabuki comic book demons who spit blood.

-- scott seward (skotro...), February 17th, 2004 9:18 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

this woman mistakes her doctor's diagnosis of acute angina as him complimenting her genitals and goes home and tells her husband who gets really angry and goes to the doctor and confronts him about it and is told that his wife has acute angina.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 16th, 2004 9:52 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I told that wrong.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 16th, 2004 9:52 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh, I was gonna do that one :)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

So this guy named Dante-Cubed is standing around when all of a sudden Curt1s punches him in the face.
-- Curt1s Stephens (sevenxvii...), February 17th, 2004 2:19 PM. (Curtis Stephens)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

they say that time is a great healer and it is sad and shit but true.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 17th, 2004 9:42 PM.

Yes, I'm at that cynical stage where I don't want to believe it for some reason. It's like a masochistic will not to want to let go.
-- dog latin (doglati...), February 17th, 2004 9:50 PM.

pet sounds will help.
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), February 17th, 2004 10:30 PM.

so will die hard.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 17th, 2004 10:33 PM.

totally, though i'd avoid die harder and esp. die hardest.
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), February 17th, 2004 10:44 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

this totally made me forget that I was mad at hstencil:

we should lock the "death to false metal" people in a room with the "representing the REAL hip-hop" people and then forget we locked them there and conveniently misplace the key and also solder the door shut
-- nate detritus (n***p*****550...), February 17th, 2004. (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

at least if you solder the door shut, they can't come out of the room with, say, the sequel to the Judgment Night soundtrack or whatever.
-- hstencil (hstenci...), February 17th, 2004. (later) (link)

nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

nate: don't hate, congratulate.

hstencil, Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:22 (twenty-one years ago)

we're not enemies, we just disagree

nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 06:23 (twenty-one years ago)


Tweeist.
-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), February 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, I think I'll steeeeeick.
-- Sarah (starr...), February 17th, 2004.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha, kneel before her

stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Worldwide FAPs have to be in London - it is written.
-- Dave B (dave.boyl...), February 16th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As long as it's North London.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), February 16th, 2004.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Shroedinger's Cock

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 17th, 2004 1:04 AM. (Orbit) (link

Dale the Titled (cprek), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Mid-October of last year on the back porch of a house party around 2 am. Slow dancing is severely underrated.
I was actually talking about this with some friends the other day. I had no idea there were so many young ladies recovering from slow dance trauma that occured in middle school. For many, their first experience with an erection was in the middle of a basketball court. Surrounded by over a hundred of their peers in what looked like a sea of bangs. A Boyz 2 Men slow jam blasting over the PA, and a young suitor firmly pressing his newly discovered manhood against her like he was trying to compact a wound.

Please note that we had no idea what we were doing at the time. I'm sure that you ladies were equally confused, otherwise I would have been assaulted by many more women than have been historically recorded. To any young lady who's been startled to find themselves on the business end of my adolescent erection, my sincerest apologies..


-- Dale the Titled (cpre...), February 17th, 2004. (later)

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a boner for 7 hours once while on mushrooms. My cock hurt for a week. I don't wanna get anywhere near this shit.
-- Bryan (twp62y...), February 17th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'd have to wear hammer pants all the time because my stinger would be crushed in my regular pants.
-- Chris V (formerlypoopsmcge...), February 17th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I like how it says the 4 hour variety may require immediate medical attention. Picture a bunch of middle-aged guys on their backs pitching tents in the triage unit of the ER.
-- BrianB (spacemen...), February 17th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahh that explains...
"Stop! .. Hammer Time"

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), February 17th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just had to pull mine out 'cause it was making me feel like I was going to implode if I left it in my pants. My buddy was scared but I promised him he was in no danger so long as he continued to appear as a stalk of celery nestled inside a hot dog bun to me.
-- Bryan (twp62y...), February 17th, 2004. (later)

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I m a student who study in fashion design, now i m thinking that to hava a collection about 80's punk, so can you please tell me more about the 80's punk culture or the attitude.

-- cat (ahlin_kns@ya)


Hahaha oh dear, bloody 'ell.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

from the "Is Glasgow Rough" thread:

compared to compton or the bronx or west philly or detroit or houston's 5th ward or new oreleans or? i'm guessing not. compared to candyland, perhaps.
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 17th, 2004 9:50 AM. (dubplatestyle)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Me with the coolest chick evah:
http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/sean-baba-s.jpg

-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), February 17th, 2004 6:57 PM. (SeanC)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sean are you GOING DOWN on her?!?!
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), February 17th, 2004 6:00 AM. (Mark C)

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

The Poetry of ILX:

The hair was everything.
At least, I think so.
I missed the 80's.

That sucks! Two years too late for the end.

Bule eye shadow?

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 17th, 2004. (later)
-- Fritz Wollner


Outsider art, at best.
-- El Diablo Robotico

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

You guys are major fules. All of youse. Real question is WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO?
-- Francis Watlington (peppermintsmok...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lighten up, Francis.
-- Sgt. Hulka (stripe...), February 17th, 2004.

Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

that was Bryan by the way

Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

oh god I phe4ar what the germans will do with this horrible weapon.
-- teeny (teen...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Our first test subject will be Hasselhoff."
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 17th, 2004.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

well yr not really allowed to eat are you? just popsicles and ice chips and the like. so this truly shouldn't be too much of a concern.

-- Viva La Sam (...) (webmail), February 17th, 2004 2:45 PM. (thatgirl) (later) (link)

popsicles???
I wanna go into labor!

-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...) (webmail), February 17th, 2004 3:04 PM. (Horace Mann) (later) (link)

Or you could just buy popsicles.

-- luna

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)

About once a month, a woman and her uterus are mortal enemies. Beware their wrath.

-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), February 17th, 2004. (later)


Unread Messages

"a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis"
"at the BP station!"

-- Felonious Drunk (wangchungvsah...), February 17th, 2004. (later)

wow, that was SOOO meant to go on the punchlines thread. i looked at jeanne's post and was wondering what the hell the rest of that joke was.

-- Felonious Drunk (wangchungvsah...), February 17th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

E-mail people as Crystal Lane and urge them to 'enhance the length and width of your manh00d'
-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), February 17th, 2004. (later)


Email people that cristal Lane emailed to see if it worked.
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...) (webmail), February 17th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

EAT MY AVOCADO, NAKED!
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry, that should have read:
EAT MY NAKED AVOCADO!

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EAT MY NAKED, AVOCADO!
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 17th, 2004.

Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

80's punk fashion? Grey sweatshirts. Short hair. Tight jeans. Sneakers.

Go put models in that, and then go fuck yourself.

-- usual channels (usualchannel...), February 17th, 2004 9:59 PM.

maypang (maypang), Tuesday, 17 February 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

ok I'm sorry, but this snippet made me lose my shit:

Get it right or I'll bite your ears off.

-- Nutty Nigel (nuttynige...), February 18th, 2004 4:40 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Netettiquite, learn it please.
-- Viva La Sam (...), February 17th, 2004.

I hope a rule of Netettiquite is to never EVER say "Netettiquite." In fact, that should be the only rule.

-- David Allen (Davidalle...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

right, it's Nettiquite, FULES!
-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I need to post that busted drum photo Vahid found.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know the spelling is off. David, go play checkers with Aja.
-- Viva La Sam (...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know the spelling is off. David, go play checkers with Aja.
-- Viva La Sam (...), February 17th, 2004.

Not the spelling, the word. Nettiquite OR netettiquite, both = retarded.

-- David Allen (Davidalle...), February 17th, 2004.

ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 01:06 (twenty-one years ago)

From the weird emails thread:

-----Original Message-----
From: postmaster@removed.com [mailto:postmaster@removed.com]
Sent: 16 February 2004 15:15
To: Matt DC
Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

WARNING. This email has been received from the internet.

-- Matt DC (runmd...), February 17th, 2004 12:58 AM. (Matt DC)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like, no shit...
-- Matt DC (runmd...), February 17th, 2004 12:58 AM. (Matt DC)

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

UPDATE: I feel like I'm in middle school!!! Finding excuses to go see friends in her building hoping I'll bump into her in the halls or getting food.

My female friends are fascinated.

-- Jon Williams (william...), February 18th, 2004.


that was the crappiest update ever.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), February 18th, 2004.

Allyzay, Wednesday, 18 February 2004 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I just made history on the other thread. I made cat names out of all the Beatles...
Who got the Skillz?

-- Dante-Cubed (pianoma...) (webmail), February 18th, 2004. (Sean3)


Uh
People who can spell 'skills'

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), February 18th, 2004. (aja)

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you think you have some sort of right to post here? These forums are provided as a gift by volunteers and donations. How dare you be so precocious and behave as if it's somehow owed to you? You are despicable.

-- Andrew (n...), February 18th, 2004. (later)

Just the thought that he might have actually said that with a straight face: "My goodness! How dare you!"

Dan I. (Dan I.), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

And then he coins the phrase "insanely banal inanity" a few posts down! HAHAHAHAHA

Dan I. (Dan I.), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 05:57 (twenty-one years ago)

it's great if you say it in a Withnail voice

the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, he doesn't need us, he's an ACTOR!

Dan I. (Dan I.), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 06:03 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF!? What thread is THAT on? thats classic!

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 06:04 (twenty-one years ago)

ilx vs aja, er i mean ilx: s/d

the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 06:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I found it. Marvellous, old man.

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I started to play "Hey Ya" at the lowest possible volume in the back of my CS class and ending up punching my COCK trying to turn it off.

-- Jon Williams (william...), February 17th, 2004.

Allyzay, Wednesday, 18 February 2004 06:48 (twenty-one years ago)


The thing I've never understood is why the Catholic Church doesn't boot people like Gibson's father (who calls the current pope 'a pawn of the Jews').

Internal Catholic politics must be absolutely insane (and incredible).

-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), February 18th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Really I think the Pope would be more like 'a rook of the Jews".

-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), February 18th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

but definitely not a bishop.

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), February 18th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

cuz at his age he can't move diagonally.

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), February 18th, 2004.

jazz odysseus, Wednesday, 18 February 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

they'll raise brian jones from the dead?

-- jody (jod...), February 18th, 2004.

jazz odysseus, Wednesday, 18 February 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it a porn lab?

-- Spencer Chow

I think I would've laughed if "porn lab" was the only thing he typed.

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 07:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought Marcello was supposed to be the Gotti of Glasgow.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 17th, 2004 7:39 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

irv gotti?
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 17th, 2004 7:46 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

is rjg ashanti?
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 17th, 2004 7:46 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hm, so Ja Rule would be...
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 17th, 2004 7:46 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ma$ello
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), February 17th, 2004 7:47 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

ilx went downhill when jess became male
-- bnw

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha yeah, "Moderation Request" is a pretty confusing way of putting forth the concept of how one would find a moderator. "I thought if I clicked it, my desktop would suddenly have a scooter on it and my start up noise would be a...a...Faces song!!"

(Ally)

stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

this guy getting irate.

oh noes! deep linking! image leeching! save us from the copyright threats!

Kingfish Beatbox (Kingfish), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Quick, someone tell The Management - the clock is ticking....

smee (smee), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a feeling I would love collard greens. What are they?
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), February 18th, 2004 9:29 AM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

greens wearing pirate shirts
-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 18th, 2004 9:31 AM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

1: hey, this is pretty interesting
2: yeah, it kinda is and I think this
1: I think that, too, and also this
2: I'm not sure about that but I think this
1: yes, you are right
traceur: stop persecuting us!!
2: ????
1: fuck off

-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 18th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck bees
-- Tracer Hand

g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is turning out either sad or hilarious, or both.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Same thing with New York City is for sellouts

maypang (maypang), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

to hell with Geir, i think we have found a groom for Marissa Marchant!

Kingfish Beatbox (Kingfish), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

something is definitely wrong with this picture, unless of course it's just for shits and giggles, in which case, something is definitely still wrong with this picture.

-- the angry cowboy (hornymormo...), February 18th, 2004 4:20 PM. (dick)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

how come RJG can start asswipe thread like this and then there are 300 posts on the next thread complaining about Aja?
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 18th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fuck off, orbit.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 18th, 2004.

weasel diesel (K1l14n), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Corrrelation does not equal causation. This research is so sloppy I can't believe it is being reported on. It's like the National Enquirer of science studies. Oh yeah, and my left ovary made me say that.
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 18th, 2004 9:12 PM. (Orbit) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

news from the Department of Duh!
-- Donna Brown (summerbab...), February 18th, 2004 9:37 PM. (Donna Brown) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

are you criticizing me, donna?
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 18th, 2004 9:49 PM. (Orbit) (later)

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

haha!

cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't laugh...you will be next!

El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

how do you spell the kiss-off emoticon?

cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

On the http://ilx.wh3rd.net/thread.php?msgid=3836038&showall=true#4302725 thread :

Jesus, invasion of the prancing about evangelists.

-- Liz :x (lizd4ply...), February 17th, 2004

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

the criticizing one upthread really needs the thread title for proper context, which was:

BBC sez researcher sez: "Women criticise each other more at certain times of the month"

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

When will the inevitable White Power rapper make himself known?
-- Donna Brown

http://thefader.com/fader18/issue/c_15.jpg
-- $$

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Stargate was pretty ridiculous. French Stewart as a Marine??

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), February 18th, 2004. (later)

WAIT THAT WAS FRENCH STWEART??????????

I must watch this movie again!!!!!

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 18th, 2004. (later)


Unread Messages

dude rewatching a movie cuz you didn't notice French Stewart was in it? That sounds like going back in time to get shot.

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), February 18th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Now you're just going out of your way to be an obnoxious sockfucker.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 18th, 2004 6:38 PM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 18 February 2004 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

So we've determined now that French Stewart is the reincarnation of the Christ, correct?

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), February 19th, 2004.


Actually, I believe that's ODB a.k.a. Big Baby Jesus. Though according to friends who saw it when he played here last week, his show is less than miraculous.

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), February 19th, 2004.


non-believers!

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), February 19th, 2004.

Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 19 February 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)


I'm Sparticus!

-- Alex in NYC (webmail), February 18th, 2004 4:53 PM. (vassifer) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm Spartacus in NYC!

-- Jim Robinson

Anna (Anna), Thursday, 19 February 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

There is a heated debate on 5 Live. Actually it's children vs. pets, but I think that's less interesting.

-- N. (nickdastoo...) (webmail), February 18th, 2004 7:03 PM. (nickdastoor) (later) (link)

Answers

kitt'ns

-- the surface noise (electricsoun...) (webmail), February 18th, 2004 7:05 PM. (electricsound) (later) (link)

Is someone translating for the pets?

-- jazz odysseus

oops (Oops), Thursday, 19 February 2004 01:06 (twenty-one years ago)

YOOHOO IS TRUEHOO ANARCHIST DRINK

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 19th, 2004.

Allyzay, Thursday, 19 February 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

ally has my back

cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 19 February 2004 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

From "My asshole landlord sent me a notice saying they would not renew my lease":

What state are you in?
-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), February 19th, 2004 2:20 PM. (Orbit)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he sounds pretty upset.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 19th, 2004 2:21 PM. (RJG)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 19 February 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

just for the record, I like columbo.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 19th, 2004.

Allyzay, Thursday, 19 February 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Just face it Ned, we all want you. With HP sauce and salt.

Uhh...

-- Trayce (trayc...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004. (trayce)

Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 19 February 2004 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

lol.. koalas are like your fat ass mum, Joe.. eat and sleep.. so the question is.. if we can eat koalas, that mean we can eat people like ur fat ass mum and u..

-- ash (logic_topolog...), March 13th, 2002 8:00 PM.

yes, i see what you mean now

-- gareth (garet...), March 13th, 2002 8:00 PM.

bnw (bnw), Thursday, 19 February 2004 07:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Somebody should do a graph of small-mindedness as embodied in consitutional amendments, I bet you could get some serious air off that vert
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 19th, 2004 9:04 AM. (tracerhand)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 February 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)


Who knows, maybe "Thong Song" was a cry for REVOLUTION!!!

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), February 19th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 February 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I like middle names like 'THE DESTROYER'.
-- RJG (r_gillander...), January 28th, 2003 11:32 AM. (RJG)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 February 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

jon do you wear other music perfume?

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 19th, 2004 6:56 PM.

Stringent Stepper (Stringent), Thursday, 19 February 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"hanged himself"?

Is the person who wrote this one of those feral children?

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004 12:50 PM. (aja) (later) (link)

Yes.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004 12:51 PM. (Nicole) (later) (link)

aja, that is correct grammar!

-- Jon Williams (william...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004 12:53 PM. (ex machina) (later) (link)

I like to use the word 'hung'.

"Hung himself"

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004 12:54 PM. (aja) (later) (link)

That usage would be incorrect.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004 12:55 PM. (spencermfi) (later) (link)

Were you raised by wolves or something?

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004 12:55 PM. (spencermfi) (later) (link)

No.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...) (webmail), February 19th, 2004 12:56 PM. (aja) (later) (link)

Or perhaps you were rose by wolves?

-- Spencer Chow

oops (Oops), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

what exactly is a "Shondell"?

-- Fritz Wollner (fritzwollner5...), February 19th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

An ugly looking guy with a beard who plays with Tommy James

-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), February 19th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

ahhh

-- Fritz Wollner (fritzwollner5...), February 19th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

OK received wisdom has it that Brit Invasion filtered US blooze thru art-school refractive lenses thus providing infinite self-regeneration fuel for R&B-derived pop music, so why not apply same straitjacket to US nu-metal and claim it as Americanization of the Smiths? (ie instrumental perf. more textural than linear-expressive, lyrics more introspective/anthropological than heroic/individualist) IE if britblooze = hyperbolic blooze then nu-metal = h. indie! (Of course this ties in with my theory that if (for arguments' sake) punk 'broke' Stateside in 1991 then given a transatlantic timelag then RHCP/FNM/JA = Zep/Sab/Floyd (REM = Jethro Tull heh!), Replacements/Husker Du = Who/Cream ('cept Bob Stinson = J Hendrix and D Pirner = J Fogerty), and to get even more ridiculous Black Flag/DKs = King Crimson/Yes
-- dave q (scrape10...), November 13th, 2002.

Answers
Ext q - Limp Bizkit = a)Monkees b)ELO c)Oasis d)Beatles
-- dave q (scrape10...), November 13th, 2002.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

eleanor rigby is no 'freak on a leash' is it!! l biz = monkees because their both better than the beatles or korn, theres some kinda ill songs by all of them though
-- ep (5tyh...), November 13th, 2002.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(stuff i stupidly left out - theory predicated on Pistols/Smiths = G'nR/Nirvana. Of course one can counter this with counter-directional transatlantic thievery, ie Oasis = Cheap Trick x Skynryd, Judas Priest = Steppenwolf x Vanilla Fudge - re Priest, I might've mentioned this on the 'gay' thread but they have this track "Raw Deal" that predates Turbonegro by 20 years, mentions "denim dudes" and "big boys, ready for action" in "New York, Fire Island". Bucks Palace = Heavy Metal Parking Lot?)
-- dave q (scrape10...), November 13th, 2002.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), November 13th, 2002.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha that may have been my second ilx post ever

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

WHERE'S BATMAN WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

-- Allyzay (scienceisauselesspursuit @ itcanfuckitselfintheass.com), February 19th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 19 February 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Manifest Destiny's Child
-- cutty (holle...), February 19th, 2004 8:37 PM. (mcutt)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 19 February 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never met a Jock who wasn't an asshole. Does life experience stand for anything outside of your yuppie Harvard existence Dan, or have you not travelled outside of your own back yard yet?

-- C-Man (cma...), February 19th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop holding Calum down, Dan.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I know I was against posting his shit here but seriously this had me HOWLING.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 19 February 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)


EVERY BODY DO THE SKINFLUT E BALONY UNTIL LPOLICEPANTS IS BACK!
-- KARL SMUMFY (BOB...), February 17th, 2004. (later)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 20 February 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

you know, c-man, i just realized yr geir with priapism.
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), February 19th, 2004. (later) (link)

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 20 February 2004 03:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish.. but I did give them a "whatever gay dudes" sort of look back. Which made the fact that a handjob was involved even funnier cuz I was like "whatever handjob-giving gay dudes."

-- Aaron W (nineoclockdro...), February 20th, 2004.

Allyzay, Friday, 20 February 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"those who are not paid to give a shit, will often take one...on you"
Teddy Roosevelt
-- Mike Hanle y (pennys...) February 20th, 2004

Of course it's the Roosevelt part that got me.

Kim (Kim), Friday, 20 February 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Imagine there's no countries.
It isn't hard to do.
dum de de dum de de dum
and no religion too.
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), February 20th, 2004.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 20 February 2004 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

We found a hedgehog in our backgarden too. It was curled up in a ball and in a deep sleep (it was winter), so we put it in a cardboard box and I took it to school to show the teacher. The teacher put it in a cupboard as a kind of nature experiment so that all her children could learn about hibernation and we'd see the hedgehog when it woke up. A couple of days later, a strong odour of decaying hedgehog started to waft from the cupboard...

-- Madchen (madchen_in_unifor...), February 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 20 February 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I am waiting for someone to post something about how their career in Morketing is in fact a continuation of their time with the Socialist Workers.

-- DV (dirtyvica...), February 20th, 2004. (later)


NANU NANU

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 20th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 February 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I would so sell out given the chance. Corporate America, are you ready for your blowjob?
-- NA (naamm...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004 1:56 PM. (Nick A.) (later)

Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 20 February 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

(this'd be great as a Red Meat cartoon)


Let's see...worked for the Viacom corporate monolith for 7 years. A few years later, employed at a big law firm and considering law school. Yeah, I'd say sold out years ago. So why am I still poor? Does that still make it "selling out" if I'm getting bottom dollar for my efforts?
-- mike a (mik...), February 20th, 2004 9:25 AM.

No, it makes you a schmuck.
-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), February 20th, 2004 9:26 AM.

There you go.
-- mike a (mik...), February 20th, 2004 9:26 AM.

jody (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 20 February 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't like lemon in cake
i like brown

-- stevem (bluesk...), February 20th, 2004 11:09 AM. (blueski) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone make stevem a shitcake STAT (that'll learn 'im!).
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 20th, 2004 2:06 PM. (Dan Perry) (later)

robster (robster), Friday, 20 February 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Joey" Concrete Blonde

-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), February 20th, 2004 10:04 AM. (Jeanne Fury) (later)

: D jeanne

-- jeremy jordan (j...), February 20th, 2004 10:06 AM. (cruisy) (later)

jj, if you're hurtin' so am i ; )

-- Jeanne Fury (jeannefur...), February 20th, 2004 10:10 AM. (Jeanne Fury) (later)

haha jeanne i'm not angry anymore

-- jeremy jordan

cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 20 February 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I think JtN should turn into a rough, gruff mountain man and grow a Grizzly Adams style beard, and then the Pinefox will have to visit America to reclaim him.
"Gadzooks, sir, why have you let this facial ornamentation consume your very being? It is not RIGHT."

"GolDANG, Pinefox, I'm jest goin' native."

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 1st, 2003 2:59 PM.


(ps can i just celebrate the WORST PINEFOX IMITATION EVER)
-- mark s (mar...), May 1st, 2003 3:04 PM.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 20 February 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay worst imitation!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 February 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Why aren't I allowed to kill people?

-- TOMBOT (withlasers @ frommyelbows), February 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

BEST HITMAN EVER (Dan Perry), Friday, 20 February 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

A friend just told me a story his mom (who knew lots of Detroit cops) passed along about Marvin Gaye getting shot by his dad: The police covered up the fact that his dad walked in on Marvin dressed in women's clothing and masturbating. Which is why he got so angry at him.
So, um, maybe.

(I know I know crossdressing isn't gay Mr. Pendant)

-- Aaron W (nineoclockdro...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004. (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's Mr. Pedant, to you.
-- maypang (pange...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004. (link)

mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Mr Pedant's Pedant Butter?

Kingfish Beatbox (Kingfish), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to flip back and forth between CNBC and Lifetime. That way I can pretend I'm a dull rich man AND his sexually repressed wife at the same time.
-- The Second Drummer Drowned (jeremy721...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004. (later)

Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Friday, 20 February 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

That picture raises certain questions.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 20th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like how they could stuff a moo-cow in there?
-- Maria D. (maria...), February 20th, 2004.

jazz odysseus, Friday, 20 February 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)


The other night I had a dream I was at a party at an old house, when it was besieged on all sides by flesh-eating zombies.

Jerry the Nipper was one of the partygoers who was trying to fight off the zombies, and he was saying that even though the zombies were very real they
were still a metaphor for relationships gone wrong. I blame his article for FT, "Passing Through".

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 20th, 2004. (later)

Was he smoking a pipe as he said this?

-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 20th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 February 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

And just so I don't sound like a talky talky book bitch:

Pineapple zombie blowjob zipadoo zoot.

-- Tep (te...), February 20th, 2004 5:22 PM.

j4n (Wintermute), Friday, 20 February 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah the gay pirate bit got me. miseee tep :..(

teeny (teeny), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Is James Moody?

Is John Faddis Harvey is?

Watch George Shearing sheep.

D'ya see Charlie Patton his dog?.

I couldn't believe it when Terje Rypdal his clothes off.

-- christoff (christof...), February 20th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

did you just Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan?

-- cutty (holle...), February 20th, 2004.

(don't know why, but I laughed like a hyena)

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is the purest distillation of EVIL I've seen on ILX.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 20th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

at what time does Spencer Chow?
-- My Huckleberry Friend (handsomishbo...), February 20th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), February 20th, 2004.

Matos W.K. (M Matos), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)


I really love him in Pirates of the caribbean . I think he is real sexy as Jack Sparrow.
-- Tammy (bunnyrabit3...), February 14th, 2004.

You've really said it all Tammy!

-- Ashley (lr4ev...) (webmail), February 14th, 2004 3:12 AM. (later) (link)

you've really said it all ashley!

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), February 14th, 2004.

You've really said it all, amateur!st!

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 14th, 2004.

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Weird. Why did my exploding head picture suddenly turn into some homo-erotic Batman and Robin sequence?

-- maypang (pange...), February 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The story of ile in a nutshell.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahahahaha

oops (Oops), Friday, 20 February 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, so if you're an indie rapper or a backpack one, and then you get on the charts, but then you don't anymore, how long do you
have to wait until you can be an indie or backpacker again? is that even allowed? and you still never said what we're supposed to do
about the asian or hispanic guys! or dizee rascal for that matter!

-- chuck (cedd...), February 20th, 2004.

and like, were lil jon or the ying yang twins or 50 for that matter indie BEFORE they had any hits? (and what about hardcore
rappers who just plain totally suck so nobody not even people who like sucky popular hardcore rappers buy their records? are
THEY still indie??)

and what about, um, BABIES? who didn't even START rapping yet????

-- chuck (cedd...), February 20th, 2004.

scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 20 February 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I was stung by a bee. A very mean bee.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004. (Nicole)


how fat was this bee?
-- Kingfish Beatbox (kingfis...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004. (Kingfish)

Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 20 February 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX: We Wag Our Cocks At You
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), February 20th, 2004

smee (smee), Saturday, 21 February 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

somebody's posted the bit where tracer says 'fuck bees', right?

cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 21 February 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

yep

stevem (blueski), Saturday, 21 February 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

damn straight.

cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 21 February 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah. I'd be living closer to Dave Grohl too.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 21st, 2004 1:58 AM. (aja) (later)

he lives in L.A., though, doesn't he?

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 21st, 2004 2:09 AM. (M Matos) (later)

Sometimes.

His studio and main house is in Virginia.

I think that's his main house.

Two of the other band members live in that house too.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 21st, 2004 2:11 AM. (aja) (later)

boss AND landlord. what a guy.

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), February 21st, 2004 2:27 AM. (M Matos) (later)

Yep. And producer.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 21st, 2004 2:27 AM. (aja) (later)

cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 21 February 2004 09:16 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, i'm actually a regular reader of the site, (mainly for the good writers mentioned above), and sometimes they annoy me, but for the first time they've actually angered me. on today's review of martin gore's "Counterfeit 2" they're talking about an eno cover and pull out this masterpiece:
"This should shock no one, since Eno at his poppiest and DM at their most experimental are almost rubbing elbows (plus, he produced them. Duh)."
now i know i'm only human, but i was pretty sure eno had nothing to do with anything like "violator." so i went to AMG and extensively researched the subject and it turn's out he remixed 2 of their songs and played keyboards on one of those. i know this is just worthless bitching, but to suggest that i'm somehow inferior to Mr. Idov because i'm not aware that eno "produced" DM, when any depeche fan knows that it's mark bell, bomb the bass, flood, and daniel miller who assumed most of those duties, well, it just makes me angry. it's not like depeche are some shitty pavement wannabe from bumfuck iowa with one or two half-decent songs, no website, and a manager who's severely slacking on the job. they're a superstar pop-band with books written about them, legions of rabid fans (spanning multiple generations), and pretty reliable information about their history all over the net. don't fuck with the mode or the mode will fuck with you bizzitches.

-- Felcher (wangchungvsah...), July 25th, 2003.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 21 February 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

funny cuz it's true!

cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 21 February 2004 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you know remember stickers/buttons that were really popular in the late '80s which displayed different images basad upon your viewing angle? With little ridges on the top? Pizza Hut used to promote their Book It! program with them. But anyway, I get the really weird shivery feeling for like twenty minutes every time I scratch of them.

-- The Second Drummer Drowned (jeremy721...), February 21st, 2004. (later)


I should stop scratching them.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 21st, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 21 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

At least have the balls to admit you're running on some whiff of proletariat ethics thang and don't know what you're talking about.

--Markelby

Priceless.

Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Saturday, 21 February 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't knock masturbation with castanets and incense, unless you've tried it, in which case fair enough.
-- N.

stevem (blueski), Saturday, 21 February 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)


Oh god, more crap for drunk girls to play to get me "in the mood"

-- Jon Williams (william...), February 21st, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 21 February 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

e-mail him a heart.

-- cozen (coze...), February 21st, 2004. (later)


a horse's heart.

-- cozen (coze...), February 21st, 2004. (later)


I've made him an offer he can refuse.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 21st, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 21 February 2004 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It is, admittedly, something of a backhanded celebration rather than an open critique.

Then why mention it?

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 21st, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because a backhanded celebration is not a celebration.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 21st, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

OH

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 21st, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Saturday, 21 February 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Ponce.

-- Jerry the Nipper (jerrythenippe...), February 21st, 2004. (later)

(That "ponce" was, of course, directed at N. rather than RJG who is extremely heterosexual.)

-- Jerry the Nipper (jerrythenippe...), February 21st, 2004. (later)


For a girl.

-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), February 21st, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 21 February 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop worrying about 'rockism'. Don't you know people are going to bed hungry?

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), February 21st, 2004. (later)


Let them eat pop.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 21st, 2004. (later)

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 21 February 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

tracer!!

Jess: josh i dont wanna turn 25
josh: why not it's no big
Jess: quarter of a century dude
Jess: in three hours
Jess: and little to nothing to show for it
josh: those numbers mean nothing
Jess: yes, i have outlasted many buildings and elephants
josh: i was standing at the bus stop today
josh: and marveling at how i was like standing upright and stuff
josh: surely lesser collections of matter would have crumbled away in 25 years
josh: you know, because of the elements, tigers, stuff like that
Jess: yeah you gotta watch out for tigers
Jess: and hail
josh: i have shirts that couldn't last 5 years
josh: so i figure the fact that my dick hasn't fallen off yet is pretty remarkable
(i love you all. keep em coming)

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), February 21st, 2003 12:38 AM. (dubplatestyle) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you're a dick, jess, but you haven't fallen off yet either
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), February 21st, 2003 12:43 AM. (tracerhand) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 21 February 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

that is the greatest thing ever

Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 21 February 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i meant to say:
hammy girthday chongo bulkington

-- dean! (dea...) (webmail), February 21st, 2004. (deangulberry)

this made me spew coffee

Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 21 February 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hi, I'm Dan Perry and I'm not wearing any pants. Let me tell you about foie gras."

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), February 21st, 2004. (Ned)

my screen may not survive the afternoon...

Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 21 February 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

GOOD GOD EVERY EXCHANGE WITH HER IS A SAMUEL BECKETT PLAY IN TRANSLATION.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), February 22nd, 2004. (Ned)
(regarding Aja)

Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 22 February 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Opposite Sex

cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 22 February 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm officially addicted to raw cookie dough. I can't get enough. I bought a whole bunch at Safeway, my local shop. It's worse than drugs. I'm too lazy to cook it.

-- Dante-Cubed (pianoma...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


Make sure the mixture uses lots and lots of eggs.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 22 February 2004 05:04 (twenty-one years ago)

God's laugh is in all of us, as we are all made in His image.

(Thus says one of the rare Christians on this forum....)

-- Many Coloured Halo (deethe_downspamdown_lurke...), February 22nd, 2004.

well done.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 22nd, 2004.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Sunday, 22 February 2004 06:48 (twenty-one years ago)

this entire thread is LOL amusing:

What did the Five Fingers say to the Face?

Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 22 February 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

well it seems all of you or most of you are fucked shit i mean could this page be any gayer none of you know what punk is it seems most of you think that if you have a mohawk your a punk well your fucked
Question: could this page be any gayer? Could it?

-- @d@ml (nordiEF="webmail.php?msgid=4213914">nordicskill...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could it now?
-- @d@ml (nordi
EF="webmail.php?msgid=4213914">nordicskill...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could invite some of my friends.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is your name Dorothy?
-- @d@ml (nordi
cskilla@hotmail.com), February 22nd, 2004. (later)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 22 February 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

It's funny you should say that. When I was at school someone said 'Look at your fingernails' and I asked why and they said just do it so I did and I stretched them out and they said 'Ha ha - you're a girl'.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


Did you cry?

-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


No, I explored my sexual identity.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


And got a detention.

-- N. (nickdastoo...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


If you're gonna explore your sexual identity, don't do it in class.

-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


"DASTOOR! Stop that this INSTANT! This is a time for MATHS!"

-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)


"oh, you said 'maths debate'..."

sorry, guys, I blame nick southall.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), February 22nd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 22 February 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

People who have to flant their integrity the same way a baboon flaunts its red butt during mating season may not actually have all that much integrity to begin with.

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), February 22nd, 2004. (later) (link)

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 22 February 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

what thread is that from?

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 February 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

DAMN YOU NADER!!!!!!

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 22 February 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

graci!

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 22 February 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned posts a lot, but I don't mind.
-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 22nd, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Sunday, 22 February 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not that funny.

Aja (aja), Sunday, 22 February 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

a comic genius at work:

"Wool is itchy

So THAT'S what Sigur Ros are singing.

"Itchy WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL..."

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), February 22nd, 2004 11:11 AM.
"

A Nairn (moretap), Sunday, 22 February 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

That's why I don't mind Ned posting.

Aja (aja), Sunday, 22 February 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Orbit, Eagleton doesn't mean one set of people (who you call 'we') will teach another set of people (you mean 'us' I think) how to do things, what to like, and so on. He means, people engaged in radical political movements are so utterly transformed by those movements that it doesn't just change the external conditions of their lives, but changes how they feel, what they take pleasure from, and so on. The vocabulary of desire is essential to radical politics if it isn't to be merely an administrative affair.
-- run it off (davebeec...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004. (run it off)

(later)
how will warhol's films accomplish this and do we need to see them for it to work?
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...) (webmail), February 20th, 2004. (amateurist)

ok, maybe it is the sick sense of humor only developed by academia, but i *howled* in laughter at this.

Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 22 February 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I've only had tea twice. IN MY WHOLE LIFE! I've only lived for 13 years, I guess it's ok. I've never had it with milk. I've had it with NOTHING AT ALL!!
DEAR GOD!!

What a taste!

Jesus!!

Well, it depends on the flavor of the tea, but DEAR GOD!!!!

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 22nd, 2004 10:26 AM. (aja) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes!!!! IT'S AWESOME!!!!!! CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- sfasdf (sdfsad...), February 22nd, 2004 1:57 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It depends!
LIKE I SAID!!!

THE TEA I HADE TASTED SO SOUR!!!!!!!!!

MY DEAR GOD!!!!!!!

but I drank it anyway.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), February 22nd, 2004 2:01 PM. (aja) (later)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 22 February 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm glad you found that funny.

The TASTE WAS NOT FUNNY BY ANY MEANS!!!!

Aja (aja), Sunday, 22 February 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

GET OVER IT, IT'S ONLY TEA.

Jesus if you're getting this worked up about tea, you're in for a surprise later in life.

luna (luna.c), Sunday, 22 February 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm over it.

It's just, the reliving of the experience to explain it.

Aja (aja), Sunday, 22 February 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)


Cozen: O I'm calm.

I misread this as "O I'm Calum" and was a bit afraid.

-- ailsa (ailsa_watson7...), February 23rd, 2004

N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 23 February 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

you seem to see women screaming hysterically at other people in the street more often then men though. maybe it's their aptitude for language.
-- j c (foreignfishe...) (webmail), February 22nd, 2004. (j c)

the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 23 February 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Onan to thread.
-- the blissfox (pinefo...) (webmail), February 22nd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you type that one-handed?
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...) (webmail), February 22nd, 2004. (Mark C)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He used his nose.
-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...) (webmail), February 22nd, 2004. (Nick Southall)

the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 23 February 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

the nightmare continues at LAUGHING! OUT LOUD! 3XC3L510Rz! (now with 17.4% more circular jerkery)

stevem (blueski), Monday, 23 February 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)


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