You are laughing. Your sides are splitting. Excelsior has been said.

-- matthew james (action_Respok...), May 6th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Tep (te...), May 6th, 2004.

-- lauren (jaguarrid...), May 6th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

lauren I really hope you said that
-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), May 6th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If by gay you mean gay, then yes, absolutely.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), May 6th, 2004 4:07 PM. (spencermfi)

-- Barima (barima_...), May 6th, 2004.

No Dirk Diggler replies, plz, ok, thx.

-- Barima (barima_...), May 6th, 2004.

Wear the suit back-to-front

-- Madchen (madchen_in_unifor...), May 6th, 2004.

Cut your dick off and glue it to your ass.

-- Sick Nouthall (auspiciousfis...), May 6th, 2004.

congrats

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 6th, 2004.

-- stephen morris (bunchoffive...), May 6th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If someone gave me an ironic blowjob I would be sarcastically flaccid back.

-- Pete (pb1...), July 4th, 2001 1:00 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those two seriously gotta be getting it on or something, the way they're behaving. I wonder if he critiques her while they're doing it.
"Paula, that was just pathetic. What it comes down to is that you're simply not doing enough to get me off, I'm sorry, but that's the truth."

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 6th, 2004 11:46 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"you'd be great for a second tier anal film, but just not what Im looking for."
-- Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (formerlypoopsmcge...), May 6th, 2004 11:47 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Randy wouldn't be feelin the blow job. "Im just not feelin it tonight Paula."
-- Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (formerlypoopsmcge...), May 6th, 2004 11:48 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Matt (Mat...), August 3rd, 2002 1:00 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By which I obviously mean "For a South American female repulsing non- english males is like rescuing land mammals from wide open spaces" natch.
-- Matt (Mat...), August 3rd, 2002 1:00 AM.

From the "so wrong it's funny" file:
fat people are cool as long as they dont smell of ham

-- mist (trojansamura...), May 6th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 7th, 2004. (later)

Isn't that a Sting song?

-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), May 7th, 2004. (later)

-- vahid (vfoz...), May 7th, 2004. (later)

next to him trey comes off as ornette coleman.

-- vahid (vfoz...), May 7th, 2004. (later)

It's like "the whole course of your life"... a curriculum was an oval running track... It's from "curro" which is the verb "to run".
-- DougD (...), May 7th, 2004 3:52 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hence, "cardio-vascular"
-- Begs2Differ (cibul...), May 7th, 2004 3:55 PM. (Begs2Differ)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"curry" also derives from "curro" because it gives you the runs
-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), May 7th, 2004 4:12 PM. (C J)

xpost i am making my voltron breast i will survive trujst me. they are not confused with moutains of whatever sharkira said right.

xpost now i not longer like this thread, tiresome ineddeed i mea sorry i know it is tiresome!

the thing is i blame ned, he gdoesn't know what funny is he just stats these threasds , he thinks all these poeple are funny but that's cos he works in the library right and in the library you cannot talk you can only read read like vriginia wolfe an d you know what that's not rieally runny neaither is orson bean if you thingk about it, right?

I heart Ally.

I was quoting Ally with "rieally runny". not meant to offend.

Stevem, do you know I thought Shawn of the Dead was the best thing ever. Psych!

otm. i feel like i should just migrate to a better message board

Joey's show is going to be all about how he's fucked the shit out of that chicken and duck.
-- VengaDan Perry

Well it's music vs context really here. Some music is better appreciated when you're sitting in your room feeling world weary and other music is better suited to aftershow parties, what can you do?
-- dog latin (doglati...) (webmail), May 6th, 2004. (later)

Not play world-weary music at an aftershow party? The whole thing sounds misconceived. If it had been held somewhere like the Union Chapel as opposed to the NAAFI de Paris the atmosphere and audience would probably have been a lot more conducive. But as that would have involved lazy Soho social parasites getting off their subsidised arses and travelling to N1, then probably not.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...) (webmail), May 6th, 2004. (later)

What's the best way to ignore someone who repeatedly makes you want to put a pencil through their eye?

-- Super-Kate (masonicboo...) (webmail), May 7th, 2004. (later)

get them to post on ILX.
-- hstencil (hstenci...) (webmail), May 7th, 2004. (later)

xpost

-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), May 7th, 2004 9:08 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I popped a cork of Bolly, in the knowledge I wouldn't have to hear that frigging song. Ever. Again.
-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), May 7th, 2004 9:20 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nichole, console yourself with the thought that we'll be there for you.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), May 7th, 2004 9:22 AM. (later)

ways Oregon is like Spain: good coffee, high unemployment, al Qaeda.
-- hstencil (hstenci...) (webmail), May 7th, 2004. (later)

Capitol Hill-AP -- An apology from Donald Rumsfeld wasn't enough for some protesters.

The defense secretary was giving his opening statement to a Senate panel today when he was interrupted by a group of hecklers. Rumsfeld was apologizing for the alleged mistreatment of Iraqi detainees by U-S troops.

A group of about a half-dozen protesters stood up and chanted "Fire Rumsfeld." One woman wearing a pink shirt with those words shouted to lawmakers to investigate "other abuses in Iraq." The protesters also held up a pink cloth banner reading "Fire Rumsfeld."

Police escorted the group from the room. Rumsfeld showed no reaction as they yelled, and he later continued on with his statement.

-- bill stevens (bscrubbin...), May 7th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wire fans, are they?

-- dave225 (adspac...), May 7th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAHA!

-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), May 7th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

either that or they bathe in Pepto bismol

-- uh (enochsnowj...), May 7th, 2004.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killa Cam strikes again

-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), May 7th, 2004.

-- bnw (rilke...), May 7th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- @d@ml (nordicskill...), May 7th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sir Alex Ferguson.
-- James Ball (jimbo_196...), May 7th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doreen the tea lady is taking early retirement as well
-- stevem (bluesk...), May 7th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

let's be honest: she's been off her game for a few seasons though anyway
-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), May 7th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"They wanted custard creams in the boardroom last week, but I told them 'no way...no fucking way', I laid the packet of Rich Tea on the table and left the room without saying a word. They never gave me any trouble again"
-- stevem (bluesk...), May 7th, 2004.

--

I think Chow Yun Fat got his start as an actor rather than a martial artist, and I'm not quite sure how good he actually is - not in the Jet Li class, certainly, nor as cute, though he is a slightly stronger actor, I think, with more presence. I don't know that Chow could take Chuck (if we are talking Chuck in his prime, when he was very good). Last I saw of Randy was his small role in the Spidey movie, and he looked very old. Even in his prime I doubt he was in this league.

I have no idea how good pandas are at fighting. They are big and strong, but I suspect not fast or skilled.

xpost, but I won't abandon the attempt to address this seriously, even if it plainly no longer deserves what tiny respect it might have started with...

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), May 8th, 2004. (later)

Shit Martin, I just noticed you have an email addy that pays homage to one of the finest movie series ever.

-- CRW (...), May 8th, 2004. (later)

-- GET TO THA' (PRICE) CHOPPA!!!!!!!! ROFFLE!!!!!!!! (williamj@cs.rochester.edu), May 8th, 2004. (later)

Fuck that mo'fuckin' "Choose Yr Own Adventure" shit.

Some of us was playin' first editions of "Warlock of Firetop Mountain".

-- noodle vague (noodle_vagu...), May 8th, 2004. (later)

That's like Dungeons and Dragons for people without friends, right?

-- GET TO THA' (PRICE) CHOPPA!!!!!!!! ROFFLE!!!!!!!! (williamj@cs.rochester.edu), May 8th, 2004. (later)

-------------

we sure live on the edge here at ilx!
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 8th, 2004. (later)

Sure you can cry ironically! Fake, bitter, cynical, postmodern tears.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), May 8th, 2004.

use fewer letters please
-- Ed (dal...), May 8th, 2004.

Sre yu can cry irnicaly! Fke, biter, cynicl, postmdern ters.
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), May 8th, 2004.

-- Palomino (fergal...), May 8th, 2004 8:58 PM. (later)

-- s1ocki

----------------------------------------

Someone should check Alex in NYC and see if he's okay.
-- Ned Raggett

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), March 2nd, 2003 3:46 PM.

-- m. (mitchnet7...), May 8th, 2004. (later)

-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), May 8th, 2004.

-- F Ath (klintved...), May 9th, 2004 4:50 AM. (later) (link) (admin) (68.101.238.237)

HE'S NOT GOIING TO COME.
-- N.

-- Aja (AsiaKitty200...), May 9th, 2004 1:30 PM.

FIDDLE MI SELECTOR
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 6th, 2004 10:15 PM. (later)

opera!
WICKED
-- Rob Bolton (i_like_my_vesp...), May 5th, 2004 12:05 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ha ha you just summed up Janet Street-Porter's entire career there
-- stevem (bluesk...), May 5th, 2004 12:07 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and some people take pleasure from that.
-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), May 9th, 2004 10:53 AM. (ken c) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i take pleasure from it often too
-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), May 9th, 2004 10:54 AM. (ken c) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

too often, perhaps
-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), May 9th, 2004 10:54 AM. (ken c) (later) (link)

There is a screen there telling them to you.
-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...), May 9th, 2004.

Oh FUCKING Dud! Easily the worst of their ilk. These guys make the DMB sound like Pere Fuckin' Ubu. Damn them straight to hell along with Vanessa Carlton and the fuckin' cast of "Friends".

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 9th, 2004.

-- Super-Kate (masonicboo...), April 21st, 2004 4:12 AM. (kate)
"

I think it means you've got a nice ass.
-- miloauckerman

"Hey are you okay Bill Murray?"

Are you taking the piss?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOBODY died.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 4th, 2004 4:23 AM. (nickalicious)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FUCK A BUNCH OF NOBODY DYING.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 4th, 2004 4:24 AM. (nickalicious)

-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 10th, 2004 12:50 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a laugh a minute round your way, isn't it Nickalicious?
-- Dr. C (Daveatcrossdee...), May 10th, 2004 1:07 PM. (later)

-- Mike Hanley (pennyson...), July 24th, 2001.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Could be worse, could be 'Ned Spock' or -- horrors! -- 'Nude Ned.' Eep.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 24th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd hate to be Gabe Kapler.
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), May 10th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They tease him a lot, 'cause they got him on the spot.
-- Broheems (electrifyingmoj...), May 10th, 2004.

---

seriously, what is wrong with all of you? Also put some horrid sunglasses on Dracula and he is Bono.

-- Allyzay ( seriously @ wtf.com ), May 10th, 2004. (later)

It would have been a much better film had it been called "Conner Smedley"

-- TOMBOT ( AWOOOOOOOO @ OSTfeat.Warren.Zevon), May 10th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beethoven was played by Gary Oldman?
I always thought he and Charles Grodin had great chemistry in those films.
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), May 10th, 2004 11:03 AM. (Horace Mann)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), May 10th, 2004. (later)

you ARE the straight phil.

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), May 10th, 2004. (later)

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), May 10th, 2004. (Dan Perry)

if I saturation-bombed the U.S. airways with ads & celebrity endorsements for Vegemite, for example, I don't think Americans would eat much more Vegemite (which is perfectly cool with me because this means MORE VEGEMITE FOR ME).

Answers
I hate this song.
Take yourself out to the ballgame. What do I look like, an ATM? Buy your own crap.

-- Ally (mlescau...), July 24th, 2003. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

especially if you put yr ass in it!

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), July 24th, 2003. (link)

http://www.westcoast-music.com/images/cd-pictures/image440.jpg

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The "B" in "B-boy" stands for "break," Alex.
-- Mark (-...), May 10th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does it? Hahaha...I honestly always wondered about that. Thanks.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 10th, 2004.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

-- sweetest diva angel (feaky_chi...), May 10th, 2004.
<hr>
Answers

get feaky!

-- g--ff (misterhungr...), May 10th, 2004.
<hr>
Hi. My names Kenny and I wrestle stoats for farthings.

-- Lynskey (pau...), May 10th, 2004.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 10th, 2004.

the rogue letters are LEARNING!

-- Aaron A. (__...), May 10th, 2004.

There was not one redeeming feature about that kid running through airport security. Not one.

-- Autumn Almanac (ada...), May 11th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It could inspire real-life 8 year olds to do the same, providing amusing "so then I shot him" anecdotes for the world's airport security guards.
-- Tep (te...), May 11th, 2004.

I was trying to calm myself down while i was walking down the street and i said 'be cool' out loud and a guy looks up at me and says 'ayyyyyyyyyyy' like the fonz
-- Nellie (nellskie...), May 11th, 2004.

-- ailsa (ailsa_watson7...), December 6th, 2003.

Don't you see. HE'S MIKE SKINNER!

MIKE SKINNER!

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 11th, 2004.

Haha, come on, man, Dan's all aflame this week!

-- God (thealmight...), May 11th, 2004. (later)

DONALD RUMSFELD!
DONALD RUMSFELD!
DONALD RUMSFELD!
DONALD RUMSFELD!

Rock over London...Rock on Chicago.
Pepsi, uh huh.

-- martin m. (marti...), May 11th, 2004 2:06 PM. (mushrush) (later)

-- Jordan (j0rdanc0h3...), May 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that phil-two's such a joker

-- stevem (bluesk...), May 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

matos is the replicant with the chewy nougat center.
-- fiddo centington

----------------------------------------

Is he better frozen?
-- Ned Raggett

---------------------------------------

he's definitely better hard, yes.
-- fiddo centington

-- Michael White (mwwhites...), May 11th, 2004. (later)

At this point I'm largely convinced that III will be 20 minutes of George Lucas rolling around naked in Crisco.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Followed by a trilogy of novels by Timothy Zahn about the Crisco's back story and home planet.

-- Tep (te...), May 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I forgot about the computer-generated Bantha.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The special edition released the following weekend replaces George Lucas with Harry Knowles and the Crisco with George Lucas. Asked, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to replace the Crisco with Harry Knowles?" Lucas had to choke a bitch.

-- Tep (te...), May 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

if krs-one has taught us anything, it's that edutainment just doesn't work people.

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 11th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- hstencil (hstenci...), May 11th, 2004 3:33 PM. (hstencil) (later)

Absolutely.

-- @d@ml (nordiHREF="mailto:rdicskilla@hotmail.c">rdicskilla@hotmail.com), May 11th, 2004 3:34 PM. (nordicskilla) (later)

with danger

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), May 11th, 2004 3:38 PM. (tracerhand) (later)

with a boner

-- NA (naamm...), May 11th, 2004 3:40 PM. (Nick A.) (later)

"MUPPETIST"!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm woindering what thuindering means.
-- Michael White (mwwhites...), May 11th, 2004 4:11 AM. (Hereward)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The extra "i"s are what make him all-seeing, I guess.
-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), May 11th, 2004 4:13 AM. (C J)

-- Ian Johnson (johni72...), May 12th, 2004.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), May 11th, 2004 7:01 PM. (Ned) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

ROCK IS BACK!

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...) (webmail), May 11th, 2004 7:02 PM. (James Blount) (later) (link)

Was this Morrissey's 'love that dare not speak its name'?

we'll have a long wait for Zager & Evans Exordium and Terminus.

-- MarkH

u r hott. fanC a fuk? im EAR 4 u
-- ken c (pykachu10...), May 12th, 2004 1:17 PM. (ken c) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ys!!! ys!!! ys!!! meld me hrdR!! i m cming

-- ken c (pykachu10...), May 12th, 2004 1:19 PM. (ken c) (later)

Spencer is quite literally both the Mac Daddy and --- dare I suggest it -- verily the Daddy Mac!
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 12th, 2004 8:31 PM. (vassifer)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex, I like to think of myself as more of a Miggety Miggety Mac.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), May 12th, 2004 8:40 PM. (spencermfi)

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), May 12th, 2004 11:11 AM. (later)

May 2001, by Geri Halliwell. Evidently you aren't spending quite enough more time poring over sad old pop almanacs, MC.

-- Jerry the Nipper (jerrythenippe...), May 12th, 2004 11:57 AM. (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck it. I'm copyrighting that riff.
-- Lynskey (pau...), May 10th, 2004. (later)

NO I'M NOT VOTING, AND THE FACT YOU'RE GIVING OUT LOLLYPOPS IS WHY. YES I WILL HAVE A LOLLYPOP.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 12th, 2004.

[not sure about etiquette re: posting posts from this thread, but since Mark just did, I will too...so ner]

1. mr. potato head
2. redd foxx
3. thomas bangalter
4. batman
5. ronan fitzgerald
6. my mom
7. han solo
8. beenie man
9. calvin coolidge
10. alf

1. Tom Baker
2. anyone with Lee in their name (includes Missy Elleeiot)
3. Space Ghost
4. Darren Anderton
5. Yul Brynner
6. Roger Bannister
7. Colonel Clink
8. Marcello Carlin
9. Michel Gondry
10. Manfred Trenz

i assumed you were talking about Frank Clark

Personally, I prefer the fist crunch. Going into a handshake, balling your fist cues your partner to do the same. You rap knuckles lightly, and avoid any embarassing hand flailing because the visual cue is enough to say, "I am violating the handshake protocol and establishing a new one based on masculine respect for force. Please brother, join me in this new protocol so that we shall respect each other and not dally in oneupsmanship."

-- Dale the Titled (cpre...), May 12th, 2004 11:10 AM. (cprek)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck you, Ned.

-- Sir Wonderfulness the Mullah-hunter (wonderful @ mullahhunt.com), May 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

---------------------------------

Damn right. I'm taking tomorrow off to perform experiments on tramps involving Kylie's back catalogue.
-- Sick Mouthy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

is california man what we're calling ned now?
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 12th, 2004.

no it's not, it's raining
-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), May 12th, 2004 11:31 AM.

courtesy of the solipsist weather review
-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), May 12th, 2004 11:37 AM.

------------------------------------------------------------

My roommate is trying to kill me with farts.
-- Bryan (twp62y...), May 12th, 2004

TS: farts vs Drano.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 12th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's a loaded TS. farts I guess.
-- Bryan (twp62y...), May 12th, 2004.

-- Thomas Tallis (tallis4...), May 12th, 2004.

No, I didn't laugh at that, you see. Thanks for thinking of yourself though!

> >GEORGE W. BUSH

College:

> >I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader.

--Nichole Graham

He was telling his dad about the project etc, and his dad said "I don't like David Norris, he shafted me once, a long time ago".

Not clever but funny nonetheless.

i enjoy storms if i'm out in the country, but in the city it feels menacing. plus i have to go out in it to go home, and i'm extremely paranoid about getting struck by lightning.
-- lauren (jaguarrid...), May 12th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

but lauren you're nowhere close to being the tallest object in Manhattan!
-- hstencil (hstenci...), May 12th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm wearing heels today.
-- lauren (jaguarrid...), May 12th, 2004.

My sister-in-law almost crashed into Stephen Hawking on her bike in Cambridge. He just pulled out in front of her in his wheelchair as she was riding like fury along the road on her way to work. She just managed to swerve at the last moment, but I have visions of him frantically typing cuss words into his keypad like a motherfucker as she loomed large in his spectacles. So, I dunno, maybe he's still bitter...
-- NickB (nic...), May 12th, 2004 5:41 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Surely Hawking will have his profanity preset to single button pushes?
-- noodle vague (noodle_vagu...), May 12th, 2004 5:44 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If he was smart he would.
-- NickB (nic...), May 12th, 2004 5:45 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It makes it easier when he's rapping along to his NWA albums.
-- noodle vague (noodle_vagu...), May 12th, 2004 5:45 PM. (later)

-- deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (ilx_omg_wt...), May 12th, 2004 6:07 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am forever going to picture Alex in Nyc in a suit skanking.
-- deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), May 12th, 2004. (later)

was there a 45-foot strongo in the corner holding it?

-- the 'surface' 'noise' (electricsoun...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

-- Ian Christe (ia...) (webmail), May 11th, 2004 8:34 AM. (Ian Christe) (later)

Gaze into my
Gaze into my
Deep inside my gothic anus
Beams of terror emit forth

The afterlife beckons
From my twisted duodenum
Your heart is leaden
But a kiss will make the constriction explode
Another glance through a gauzy screen
And another demon is born

Submit to my
Bathe inside my
Deep inside my gothic anus

With a bowed head and aching back
The nubs of succubus wings
Giving pixeis the hump of ages
Winding through a small intestine
Dripping with ennui and angst
Your hatred suppository makes you strong

Gothic anus rules us all
Give over to the brownness

-- Lord Vincent of Umbria (djperr...), May 13th, 2004 9:16 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), March 15th, 2003. (1 trackback)

I fucked the original.
-- Autumn Almanac (ada...) (webmail), May 13th, 2004. (Autumn Almanac)

Me to most intrusive interrogator, yesterday: "Why do you talk about my sexlife all the time?"

Her: "I'm a virgin."

Me: "...Ah."

-- Barima (barima_...), May 12th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nothing remotely rivals 'Everything is Everything' though
-- Baaderoni (fabfon...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

with the exception of other records.
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Des Lynam: "Andy, Shaun Wright-Phillips is having a good season, should he be looking for a England place?"
Andy Townsend "No Des. He's black".
-- Matt DC (runmd...), May 13th, 2004 4:48 PM. (Matt DC) (later)

Never buy your apricot danish from a junkie baker.
-- @d@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), May 13th, 2004 12:21 PM.

But what if he also sells Sugar Smacks?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 13th, 2004 12:22 PM

-------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, your like so cool. I wonder how much money you could get if you just offered yourself up for auction.
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), May 13th, 2004.

-- Andrew (n...), May 13th, 2004 9:26 PM.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I found the secret level on Rainbow Island.
-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), May 13th, 2004 9:30 PM.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Woah.
-- Andrew (n...), May 13th, 2004 9:32 PM.

-- luna (luna_cee...), May 13th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, it's "What ho, Jeeves"
-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...), May 13th, 2004 6:08 PM. (roxymuzak) (later)

say what you will about John Mayer, but he has indeed "gained my trust".
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), May 13th, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"gained my trust" = "tossed my salad"?
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), May 13th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

like it was a silent fart.
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), May 13th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"like it was"
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), May 13th, 2004.

from the same thread

Answers

http://www.progreviews.com/reviews/images/DB-Her.jpg
-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...), May 13th, 2004 5:10 PM. (roxymuzak) (later)

-- geeta (geet...), May 13th, 2004 5:05 PM. (geeta)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm trying to picture this. what'd your truck play? tony conrad? terry riley?

-- geeta (geet...), May 13th, 2004 5:07 PM. (geeta)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, that's this one: GOTHIC ANUS
-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...) (webmail), May 13th, 2004 3:28 PM. (roxymuzak) (tracklink) (link)

on the days I took a radio with me, I was likely to blast the Jesus Lizard's Goat on repeat.
-- hstencil (hstenci...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

I want this stencil to be my ice cream man this summer.

Only if she violently plucked them out of the socket of her nemesis.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 13th, 2004 3:03 AM. (nickalicious)

(nickalish, you're cracking me up all over the place lately man)

---

It was the kind of thing you thirsted for but never quenched
Until you happened upon an Amstel Light

It lacks a certain je ne sais anus gothique

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

HAHAHAHAHA that could be a fantastic lyric if not for the fact that it is common knowledge that Amstel Light quenches NOTHING.

-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

even then, just to be a pedantic asshole about it, "thirsted for but never quenched" is a completely dire construction: you don't quench a thing, you quench a thirst: "it was the kind of thirst you had but never quenched," which'd be awful but at least correct, gets closer to the meaning - I dunno, maybe it's just my personal pointless gripe that things like this wreck lyrics for me

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

haha you're the dan perry of lyrics

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

just FEEL it, man

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

yeah yeah I know I know I gotta relax & whatnot, & they sound fine in the context of the song always, but we all got our crosses to bear and shit like "Entre-vous Lady T" spoken by Lady T herself, that there is my fine ol' rugged

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), May 13th, 2004. (later)

christ you must hate rickey henderson then

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

no, because rickey henderson stole more bases than any motherfucker in the history of the game, which makes up for a whole lotta shit

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

Dave Matthews's anus
is non-goth through and through
I hate those that don't like him
shot all the people who do

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), May 13th, 2004 12:23 AM. (J0hn Darn1elle) (later)

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), May 13th, 2004 11:31 PM. (James Blount) (later)

-- s1ocki

-- MC Rumsfeld (Rumm...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

Okay, this was a bit sick, but it still made me chuckle.

-- nickalicious (nza2342...)

Somewhere out there, Calum is wetting himself.
-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), May 14th, 2004. (Nicole)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah. Also when hears about this he'ill be quite excited.
-- de (ke...), May 14th, 2004.

He finally figures out what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
-- Tep (te...), May 14th, 2004.

-- Nellie (nellskie...), May 14th, 2004.

how the fuck is he going to do that?

-- Patrick Kinghorn (paddypowe...), May 14th, 2004.

it's just going to be him on the empty set, doing a monologue

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 14th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene 1-A Stranger Comes To Visit
Tobias: "Michael, Oh Michael, I see visitors comink in the distance, can you go outside and mow that there lawn"

Axel:"Always neurotic about the lawns, hush Tobias"

Michael:"When will you varmints realise I am the boss around here, ME, MICHAEL MAYER. There's pigs that need swilling, fences need whitewashing, and rabbits that need feeding. We can do it now, ourselves, or we can sit here all day and wait for Rex The Dog to do fuck it up

Tobias/Axel:hahahahahaahaha, those English!

Michael:Shut up, whose wagon is that?????

FIND OUT NEXT WEEK.

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 14th, 2004 12:14 PM. (later)

-- dave225 (adspac...), May 14th, 2004. (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gene Simmons is always touring in support of Asshole.

-- Josh in Chicago (Vitesse9...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

(they are much more reliable than the Morrissey and Cure Armies cuz they have a lot more time on their hands.)
-- scott seward (skotro...), May 14th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

how the fuck is he going to do that?
-- Patrick Kinghorn (paddypowe...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's just going to be him on the empty set, doing a monologue
-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

-- Nellie (nellskie...), May 14th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

how the fuck is he going to do that?

-- Patrick Kinghorn (paddypowe...), May 14th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's just going to be him on the empty set, doing a monologue

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 14th, 2004. (later) (link)

http://www.clublife.com/images/daft_gap.jpg

-- hstencil (hstenci...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

but was your friend a cellphone faggot?

-- Dan Selzer (danselze...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

no, his cellphone is a breeder.

-- hstencil (hstenci...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

then that was totally out of the question.

-- Dan Selzer (danselze...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, and Van Gogh never spoke English. Talk about talentless!
-- NA (naamm...), May 14th, 2004 10:02 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, I thought Van Gogh was especially poor in that episode where Kelso couldn't find his stash.
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), May 14th, 2004 10:05 AM. (later)

also the tingle from cinnamon oil type stuff.

like the top left product here.

I know because I brush my teeth in the shower.

-- TOMBOT (eschewshavingcream @ gelisforwusses), May 14th, 2004. (later)

What a girl.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

tombot, check the ingredients dude!

-- gygax! (gygax0...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

No see gygax I can read, however, I can also feel things with my genitals. See, I have gotten soap on my genitals. I like to put soap on my genitals
every day. That feels perfectly normal to me and is not in the least bit shocking or unpleasant ever. But then sometimes while I'm brudhing my teeth in
the shower, with, say, cinnamon flavored toothpaste, or like a peppermint flavored toothpaste, a bit of foam from my mouth will succumb to gravity and
wind up on my genitals, because I don't wear any clothes in the shower. And it feels quite a bit different from soap. In fact it's sometimes quite
unpleasant. To be quite honest the very idea of willingly putting minty stuff on one's genitals seems completely depraved and insane to me. But what do
I know, I brush my teeth in the shower.

-- TOMBOT (THERE @ HAPPY), May 14th, 2004. (later)

-- HAHAHAHAHA oh hell (djperr...), May 14th, 2004 11:41 AM. (later)

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), May 14th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BowB4DOOM: hi r u m or f?
StretchArmstrong: m
BowB4DOOM: oh um do u have any hot pix of your gf?
StretchArmstrong: yes
BowB4DOOM: send them to me? I'll trade for Philip Glass bootleg mp3s
StretchArmstrong: omg ok!!
[StretchArmstrong has sent you a file]

BowB4DOOM: hey wtf it's just a picture of a bed!
StretchArmstrong: yes my gf is invisible, ha ha on you
BowB4DOOM: oh no! wtf omg r u my nemesis Reed Richards?
StretchArmstrong: yes u luser i am Reed, got you again Vicky
BowB4DOOM: stfu! omg! i am going to hax0r your country now with my negative zone robot virus! fucko!

-- Tep (te...), May 14th, 2004. (later) (link)

--

He detracts from every movie he is to some extent. There's just something about his schtick and mannerisms that make his presence so irritating -- he is
the assiest asshat to have ever assed.

-- El Diablo Robotico (nicolew1...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

Dear God,

ARE YOU KITT?????

-- Leeefuse 73 (uproc...),

---

I just destroyed the place ... I kind of regret that I did it, but I hope my message got across."

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??

-- vahid (vfoz...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), May 12th, 2003.

DUDE we were at 80s night last night at this one club and they played Gary Numan and IT WASN'T CARS FOR ONCE omg wtf?? I was so excited. They also played Captain Sensible with the video, which was amazing.

BEST PICTURE EVER

Ian, I'm down. When can you get to DC?

i was going to post yr "but it makes bukkake easier to clean up" thing, but now that seems a little silly. but it does.

THIS IS MY MOM, PEOPLE.

-- Ally (mlescau...), April 23rd, 2003 6:59 AM. (mlescaut)

-- MarkH (mark_e_heste...), May 15th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a memory stick for yr pooter

I might rephrase this.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 15th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GUH GIB A ZNELOD YEKCIM EVIG
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), May 15th, 2004. (later) (link)

They should totally make a farewell movie called "Da Last Waltz."

-- mike a (mike....)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeezy Creezy, you people are SO hung up on the leather jacket. It's all about clothes with youe. How deep.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 15th, 2004.

-- Kingfish Disraeli (kingfis...), May 14th, 2004 12:16 PM.

I thought you guys would find this interesting and discussion-worthy...blah blah blah...boring British dudes...blah blah blah

-- Salvador Saca (salvadorsac...), May 16th, 2004.

Answers

"blasts"

-- Al (hoteloper...), May 16th, 2004.

also when I first saw this thread, I thought it said "is kelis meant to be beyonce" which of course is a YES.

-- Forksclovetofu (shempshem...), May 15th, 2004. (later)

Like giant-sized Micronauts, they're fitted with interchangeable parts.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 15th, 2004. (later)

the interchangable part is my tongue

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), May 15th, 2004. (later)

Actually, it might be Marcello now I think about it.

-- Matt DC (runmd...), May 16th, 2004. (later)

I thumped Hercule Poirot for less.

-- Farcello Carling (runmd...), May 16th, 2004. (later)

HE HAS SEX

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 16th, 2004. (later)

AFTER HE HAS SEX HE CUMS AND THINKS "AH YES, I HAD SEX"

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 16th, 2004. (later)

the air of mystery surrounding these liaisons is as subtle as a fine looney tunes anvil

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 16th, 2004. (later)

but which room is The Mystery Room?

-- stevem (bluesk...), May 16th, 2004. (later)

the one with the human hair carpet

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 16th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaycer Hand
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 16th, 2004 2:28 PM. (later)

James

-- James Slone (freontrotsk...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

Define relevance again.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

Now now now, I'm just being mean. Would it help if I just called him a fat old windbag? Don't overreact. I'm not insanely opposed to his music.

James

-- James Slone (freontrotsk...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

And for the record, Bowie's been irrelevent since "Heroes".

tee hee.

-- James Slone (freontrotsk...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

And quite frankly, relevance to me means having some real social impact or purpose, being a real part of the zeitgeist. Most rock music, by definition, is irrelevant for all but its fans.

-- James Slone (freontrotsk...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

fight the power dude

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's amber goo you're pissin'

-- Always Winter Never Almanac (ada...), May 17th, 2004 2:44 PM. (later)

wine before beer - never fear
beer before wine - feeling fine
-- scott seward (skotro...), May 17th, 2004 2:20 PM. (scott seward)

A shark on wisky is mighty risky,
but a shark on beer is a beer engineer.
-- A Nairn (moreta...), May 17th, 2004 2:26 PM. (moretap)

Beer before dinner, a sure fire winner.
Wine all the time, you'll turn into a mime.
-- Skottie (n...), May 17th, 2004 2:40 PM.

Beer on whisky, pretty risky.
Whisky on sale, drink like a whale.
-- Skottie (n...), May 17th, 2004 2:50 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And your mother's Ophelia.
-- Skottie (n...), May 17th, 2004 2:51 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or Cordelia. Or whathefuckever
-- Skottie (n...), May 17th, 2004 2:52 PM.

-- James Slone (freontrotsk...), May 17th, 2004 12:41 AM. (Freon Trotsky) (later)

xpost

-- bimble (grippledybu...), May 7th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, look, that's not true. I really really really did stop listening after Bloodflowers. But I did give a listen to whatever that album was that had Mint Car on it and I thought it would end there but I did buy Bloodflowers.
-- bimble (grippledybu...), May 7th, 2004.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

My god, bimble has some issues to work through.

-- Sansai (dasdfsaa...), May 7th, 2004.

Hey, don't be so down, at least you know she's up for it.
-- Matt DC

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonney you don't NEED to TRY, you have a PENIS. It's very butch.
-- Mr Mime (countandre...), May 16th, 2004 12:36 AM. (Andrew Thames)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does yours have a crew-cut or something?
-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), May 16th, 2004 12:38 AM. (tracerhand)

apparently they got on so well they are planning to shack up in SUrbiton and grow their own vegetables, much to the disdain of their pompous neighbours
-- stevem (bluesk...), May 17th, 2004 10:01 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ja Rule and Penelope Keith?
-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), May 17th, 2004 10:02 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Hood Life
-- stevem (bluesk...), May 17th, 2004 10:03 AM. (later)

I'm basing my first novel on every post about your hair.

PS - where's that from?

jess is pretty hott but she's got too much of a fucking mouth on her.
-- bnw (inevergetsic...), May 1st, 2003 10:57 PM.

Okay... battle of the chiXors (ROUND 1)
A/POO: kate v ally
B/POO: felicity v jess
winner A v winner B
Any other input?

PS... are these choices valid or are they all duds?

-- Roman (caff...), May 1st, 2003 11:34 PM.

(Is Jess female?)

-- Momus (nic...), May 1st, 2003 11:42 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

only my undertaker knows for sure
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 1st, 2003 11:44 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wait JESS is a woman? I thought all of you LAFFED at me when i told my story of thinking jess was a woman named jessICA back on the "wish happy birthday to jess" thread earlier this year ?
and now everyone is treating jess as a female? WTF? is there a mangina here???????????????

-- Vic (Iodine99...), May 1st, 2003 11:45 PM.

---------------------------------------------

Based on nothing:

Round 1 results:
kate over ally
jess over felicity

Round 2
POO: kate v jess

-- Roman (caff...), May 1st, 2003 11:47 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

best thread evah
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 1st, 2003 11:49 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JESS over FELICITY? what kind of crazy world do you live in?
-- di smith (lucylure...), May 1st, 2003 11:49 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

based on vic's info:
The hottest chick on the board is JESS!
BOHICA (Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!)

-- Roman (caff...), May 1st, 2003 11:49 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fear the gaping mouth of my demon vagina
-- jess (dubplatestyl...), May 1st, 2003 11:51 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It doesn't have to be a fetish to acknowledge that people can have nice feet. Jesus gave us all feet, why should we cover them up.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before the New Testament it were all stumps!
-- dog latin (doglati...), May 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"BOB" Outkast
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll try to calm down a little now.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All You need is Love

-- ... (a...), May 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everlasting Love
-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), May 17th, 2004.

-- A Nairn (moreta...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

http://www.mobtownplayers.com/pix/Spot/Fozzie%20Bear.jpg

"Don't bite it, bitch!"

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 17th, 2004. (later)

"You gotta throw some of 'em away just for the sheer liberating cleansing thrill of it. Seriously."
-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), May 17th, 2004 6:03 PM.

-- don (searchanddelet...), May 17th, 2004.

Actually, it is.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 17th, 2004.

-- luna (luna_cee...) (webmail), May 17th, 2004. (later)

All together men: wince! One....two....three....

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 17th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

nick lachey would need a cat-o-nine-penises just to make proper use of the thing

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 17th, 2004. (later) (link)

alcohol comes in pills form now??
xpost
-- ken c (pykachu10...), May 17th, 2004 8:05 AM.

pils
-- the surface noise made by people (electricsoun...), May 17th, 2004 8:07 AM.

I think it was just some lost vomit. ugh. I had an unpleasant morning.
-- Ronan (...), May 17th, 2004 8:14 AM.

had you been looking for it?
-- the surface noise made by people (...), May 17th, 2004 9:43 AM.

-- gygax! (gygax0...), May 17th, 2004 4:35 PM.

Gygax is on a roll.

From: "****** ******" <***************@*********.***> Add to Address Book
To: nick_southall@stylusmagazine.com
Date: Sun, 16 May 2004 23:16:44 -0500

Hey Weirdo, your reviews SUCK! Do you just try to find the worst music possible to love because everybody else thinks that it sucks? Go get a real job. You are BAD at this one. REALLY.

-- Sick Mouthy (auspiciousfishN...), May 18th, 2004 10:46 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bit much of Marcello to be sending you emails like that Nick
-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), May 18th, 2004 10:50 PM. (later)

anyone know of some good funky prog rock break records?
-- Vitalski (declipse...), May 18th, 2004.

more along the lines of drum heavy stuff as opposed to the pastoral mellotron soaked epic gnome and wizard shit
-- Vitalski (declipse...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

there is no "gnome and wizard" shit in the genre to the best of my knowledge.
-- Pashmina (pashmin...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But Pash, most people think prog = Rick Wakeman.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for "gnome and wizard" shit, seek any record w/vocals by ronnie james dio.
-- Pashmina (pashmin...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes ned, but I can't remember any of rick wakeman's rekkids featuing "gnome and wizard" shit. I mean they were pretty terrible, but pretty devoid of any s&s cack.
-- Pashmina (pashmin...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

not interested in gnome and wizard shit.. more funky hard drum stuff
-- Vitalski (declipse...), May 18th, 2004.

-- quincie (quinci...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LET US REASSEMBLE THE 90S, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHA
-- LIAM HOWLETT (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 18th, 2004 3:25 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OOHH AAAAAAH OOOH OOHO OOH AAHAHAH OOHOH OOHAHA OOHO AAH OOHAA OOOH OOOH OOHAAA OOHAA OHAAA
-- LIAM GALLAGHER (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 18th, 2004 3:25 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DO NOT SPEAK TO ME, THAT IS VULGAR
-- ROBERT DEL NAJA (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 18th, 2004 3:26 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'M ON TRACK 5
-- TERRY CHRISTIAN (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 18th, 2004 3:26 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ONLY TWISTA CAN SAVE THIS RECORD!
-- KATE THORNTON (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 18th, 2004 3:26 PM. (later)

-- Spinktor (tatto...), May 18th, 2004.

-- Rumpy Pumpkin (the24hrsleepe...) (webmail), May 18th, 2004 9:31 AM. (rumpypumpkin) (later) (link)

yeah put that in your pipe and smoke it Mulder

-- stevem

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 18th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought it was nail polish.
-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or the blood of Boy George.
-- Johnny Fever (johnnyfeve...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is there a difference?
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you suggesting, Dan, that Boy George is made of pasta?
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haven't you seen him lately?
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 18th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wait Mark, don't you work for your dad?????
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 18th, 2004 1:35 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How much do you get paid to assist the cum receptionist? This might be the perfect job for me.
-- Bela Lugosi's Dad (lkd...), May 18th, 2004 1:37 AM. (later)

and then in an immediate followup:

I really didn't intend for that to sound quite so Conor Oberst.
-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...), May 18th, 2004

What?

-- Sarah (starr...), May 17th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- STU-BOT (gonzomoos...), May 19th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Curt1sss (sevenxvii...), May 19th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you will find one penis and a pair of keys

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 19th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

from the back
-- Nate in ST.P (n***p*****550...), May 19th, 2004 9:17 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

only if she 5'3"
-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...)

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...) (webmail), May 18th, 2004 5:41 PM. (tracerhand) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

the Iraqi Postal Service sucks, duh.

-- hstencil (hstenci...) (webmail), May 18th, 2004 5:42 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I for one welcome our new homosexual overlords.
-- ferg (FU...), May 19th, 2004 10:10 AM. (later)

-- chris (cbrassic...), May 19th, 2004. (later)

(It's just so strange.)

-- nickalicious (nza23420@yahoo.com)
<hr width="300">

ha ha whoops

-- nickalicious (nza23420@yahoo.com)

"LET ME OUT OF YOUR TUMMY!"

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

-- nickalicious (nza23420@yahoo.com)

-- coco (coli...), May 19th, 2004.

Complete total utter shit with absolutely nothing to make me want to hear it again ever, plus being their worst song ever.
-- dave q (scrape10...), December 14th, 2001 5:00 PM. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry, confused it with "Champagne Supernova" there! "Wonderwall"'s alright I s'pose
-- dave q (scrape10...), December 14th, 2001 5:00 PM. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

not a dick. DICK
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), May 19th, 2004 12:18 PM. (Gear!) (later)

CORNY INDIE FUXXORY

-- Spinktor (o...), May 19th, 2004 1:51 PM.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), May 19th, 2004 11:06 AM. (later)

-- Spinktor (obviou...), May 19th, 2004.

Anyway, speaking of Nickalicious:

I can't stop thinking about how different this would be were it the other way around, if it were an American wedding celebration getting fired upon by swooping aircraft.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 19th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, then clearly everyone there would be innocent, for a start.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 19th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unless of course they were from West Virginia.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 19th, 2004. (later)

-- Kingfish Disraeli (kingfis...), May 19th, 2004 4:23 PM.

I really dig his vibe. He's totally not afraid to strut, hip-swivel, shake his hair, flash his body hair and leer at the camera. He's such a shameless little ho.

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 19th, 2004 5:56 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link) (admin) (67.71.79.13)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

(about the album)

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 19th, 2004 5:57 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link) (admin) (67.71.79.13)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

(or what i was doing in yemen in a gladiator outfit)

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), May 19th, 2004 5:58 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link) (admin) (67.71.79.13)

Oh I get it... You guys are making this thread "get ugly." How meta.
-- martin m. (marti...), May 19th, 2004 2:54 PM

-- NA (naamm...), May 19th, 2004 12:58 PM. (Nick A.) (later)

I thought it was "MAHHHHH....MAH MAH MAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" followed by the "EEEEE...chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk chuk....EEEEEEE"

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), May 19th, 2004 1:00 PM. (Gear!) (later)

Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at muh ma fuckin thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in yo' debt
And biotch I will try ta express
My inner feelings an' thankfulness
For showing me da meaning o' success

Woman I know ya dig'
The little child inside o' da nig
Please remember muh ma fuckin life iz in yo' hands
And biotch hold me close ta yo' heart
However distant don' keep us apart
After all it iz written in da stars

I love ya, jaa, jaa
Now an' forever
I love ya, jaa, jaa
Now an' forever
I love ya, jaa, jaa
Now an' forever
I love ya, jaa, jaa
all ye damn hood ratz..

Imagine nahh possessions
I wonder if ya can
No need fo' greed or hunger
A brotherhood o' nig
Imagine all da peeps
Sharing all da world...

You may say I'm uh dreamer
But I'm not da only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And da world will be as one

peep this shit

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), December 19th, 2003.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), May 19th, 2004 2:21 PM. (spencermfi) (later) (link)
If you hold out just a bit longer you can get a little box with all your favorite musicians trapped inside.

-- Casuistry (chri...), May 19th, 2004 2:28 PM. (Chris Piuma) (later) (link)
Argh, vagina dentata.

-- NA (naamm...), May 19th, 2004 2:29 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)
mmmm, vagina dentata.

-- teeny (teen...), May 19th, 2004 2:29 PM. (teeny) (later) (link)

-- Collardio Gelatinous

"man did his shit float" is making me giggle like a stoned schoolgirl.

AHHH I DONT GET JERK CITY WHERE IS THE FUNNY HIDING?
-- David Allen (Davidalle...) (webmail), May 19th, 2004. (link)

-- Mikey G (...), May 20th, 2004 10:28 AM. (later)

yeah shrek sucked the big one anyway.
-- jed_ (colin_ohar...), May 14th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I kinda liked it but it's not aging well. The soundtrack includes so many feel-good-movie-by-numbers songs. It hurts me in my heart that my son knows the words to Smashmouth songs because of it.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), May 14th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i remember you, just about
-- stevem (bluesk...), May 20th, 2004 2:38 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, we shared that dwarf.
-- Mikey G (...), May 20th, 2004 2:39 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*searches brain*
-- stevem (bluesk...), May 20th, 2004 2:40 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You disposed of his body in the canal?
-- Mikey G (...), May 20th, 2004 2:43 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHAT GOES ON THE STAG STAYS ON THE STAG!!!!
-- CarsmileSteve (carsmilestev...), May 20th, 2004 2:44 PM. (later)

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), May 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i prefer porn really

-- stevem (bluesk...), May 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- Momus (nic...), May 20th, 2004 9:06 AM. (later)

A Warm Rush of Pee to the Head
-- Gilles Meloche (meloch...), May 20th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- stevem (bluesk...), May 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

like a nature hike

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), May 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he then ran into the night, like a startled fawn

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), May 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exit pursued by an ILXOR

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 20th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aw.
-- Matt (Mat...), May 20th, 2004 4:18 AM. (Matt)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I heard Gothic Anus is opening.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 20th, 2004 4:19 AM. (Dan Perry)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's right, Gothic Anus is opening for My Septum Cunt.
Anyone?

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 20th, 2004 4:27 AM. (Dan Perry)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyone at all?
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 20th, 2004 4:39 AM. (Dan Perry)

-- Tep (te...), May 20th, 2004. (later)

In otherwards, Whedonverse equals Lucasverse?

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), May 20th, 2004. (later)

Well ... hrm. On the one hand, it's not that bad, but on the other, it depends on whether or not you take into account that, timewise, Lucas done what
he done in the space of ten Buffy episodes, with midichlorians coming in in episode seven. That's pretty fast degeneration by Whedonverse standards.

On the third hand, if Whedon wrote the Lucasverse as a TV show, you'd have an episode with a throwaway bit of fluff involving a droid using the
Force, and then a big season-ending arc that would depend on some quasi-mystical definition of "life" or "the soul," according to which definition droids
would never be able to be Jedis, use the Force, etc., which would lead to eternal reams of fanfic explaining why XG-71 was such a badass Jedi robot
guy and got to fuck Padme.

Plus, Li'l Anakin would get bitten by an Ewok and become a were-Ewok, the Jedi Council would send in representatives to try to bring this disobedient
Luke Skywalker dude to heel, some guy in a big rubber suit named "Sith" would show up and have to get the crap kicked out of him, and Leia would
have better hair.

-- Tep (te...), May 20th, 2004. (later)

I now work even further out than Gareth and Chris. Fucking Maidenhead!

-- Ricardo (boyofbadger...), May 14th, 2004. (RickyT) (later)

I think that's meant to be me.

-- Allyzay (destructio...), May 14th, 2004. (later)

Does Tom know?

-- Ed (dal...), May 14th, 2004. (dali) (later)

Rick, your job is fucking maidenhead?

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), May 14th, 2004. (Martin Skidmore) (later)

Are there any extra openings?

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 14th, 2004. (Dan Perry) (later)

Did you miss Anatomy 101, Dan?

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), May 14th, 2004. (Martin Skidmore) (later)

I did say "extra"; I don't what's currently filled.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 14th, 2004. (Dan Perry) (later)

Regardless I'm sure there's more than one position I'd be interested in.

-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), May 14th, 2004. (Dan Perry) (later)

-- the surface noise made by people (electricsoun...), May 20th, 2004. (later)

Writing the 15th reply to this thread.

xpost

-- I Wish You Almanac (ada...) (webmail), May 21st, 2004 8:53 PM. (Autumn Almanac) (later) (link)

Shit.

-- I Wish You Almanac

-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...) (webmail), May 21st, 2004 7:02 PM. (later) (link)

Once again, I stop a thread DEAD IN ITS TRACKS!

I am MASTER OF THE INTERNET!

-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...) (webmail), May 21st, 2004 7:33 PM. (later) (link)

i think people just haven't finished reading your post yet

-- cutty

-- I Wish You Almanac (ada...), May 21st, 2004 3:19 PM. (Autumn Almanac)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, so a cow just told a mushroom she was resigning. What is this, a Syd Barrett song?
-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), May 21st, 2004 3:21 PM. (colin s barrow)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, so a cow just told a mushroom she was resigning. What is this, a Syd Barrett song?

Waving my cap in the air
love, my love, got no care
no care, no, no, pressing my stem to the ground
stand up right where you stand
call to you and what do you do
laying back in a chair wearing hotpants?
the cow's so high on the air
the cow's so high on the air
half and half, half and half
all you have to do to moo
is hold her hoof, stand a while
and then smile and we'll understand
yes we do - yes, yes we do!
Oh what a cow I've got too!
Oh what a cow I've got too!
with her slinky look she held her tail to her arse
(and I) could see milk everywhere
no-one in the land, no-one
no-one in the land, no-one
but it rains on Saturday - sheep and bison in the way
stormy day, hey, hey
and you shouldn't try to be
what you can't be
and you shouldn't try to be
what you can't be
moo to you and what do you do

-- I Wish You Almanac (ada...), May 21st, 2004 3:28 PM. (Autumn Almanac)

Autechre, Rae
Squarepusher, Massif (stay strong (one of the most evocative pieces in IDM, imo)
Aphex Twin, Alberto Balsalm
Boards of Canada, Everything You Do Is A Balloon
Mu-ziq, Secret Stair Pts. 1 (and particularly) 2
Hrvatski, Anesthetise Thineself
Hrvatski, Gemini (early)
The Notwist, Scoop
Olivier Messiaen, Oraision
-- Salvador Saca (sal...), May 20th, 2004 2:23 AM.

daft punk 'one more time'
-- pete b. (lit...), May 20th, 2004 2:25 AM.

I didn't ask which songs move your bowels to your mouth.
-- Salvador Saca (sal...), May 20th, 2004 2:29 AM.

-- colette (a2lett...) (webmail), May 21st, 2004 5:01 AM. (a2lette) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

(the class he taught, not both as students, in case that makes more sense)

-- colette (a2lett...) (webmail), May 21st, 2004 5:02 AM. (a2lette) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bit about not wanting to know natalie Portman rwally but using her to get to Anna Paquin is beyond menko.

-- Dave B (dave.boyl...) (webmail), May 21st, 2004 5:07 AM. (daveb) (later) (link)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

he was hoping Anna Paquin could then introduce him to Iceman

-- stevem (bluesk...) (webmail), May 21st, 2004 5:10 AM. (blueski) (later) (link)

"Mike D, Man of Leather"

How the fuck is none of that absurd?

-- Barima (barima_...), May 21st, 2004 10:09 AM. (Barima)

MAN OF LEATHER.

Which ILXer lives furthest above sea level?

I MUST know.

-- @d@ml

Answers

me! I live on top of the alps!

(x-post)

-- jel --

x-post?

-- teeny

I just wanted to write x-post on the first post in a thread, I feel I have scored a significant victory.

-- jel --

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), May 21st, 2004. (later)

then take it offline.

-- luna (luna_cee...), May 21st, 2004. (later)

no, it's weird though. i don't mind when they get to it thru other links or by googling artists etc, but when it's my name they're googling it just seems odd.
dunno why.

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), May 21st, 2004. (later)

i sort of want to find out who they are and why they're interested in me.

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), May 21st, 2004. (later)

Maybe they're looking for clues to find you as one of your long lost and very rich relatives has kicked off and has left you an enormous inheiritance
requiring you to spend a night in a gloomy old house before you get your hands on the zillions of dollars.

Plus, they like dance music.

-- luna (luna_cee...), May 21st, 2004. (later)

Noon, yes. I will try to come. I'll bring the three rackets again in case someone needs one.
-- Michael Jones, May 21st, 2004.

Can I come? And can I borrow a racquet? I am ready for my annual humiliation at the backhands of MJ.
-- Jerry the Nipper, May 21st, 2004.

Of course you can come! I didn't know MJ had a great-backhand - I mean, he does a mean moonwalk and all that. Does he wear the sequined glove when playing?
-- Rob Bolton, May 21st, 2004.

Billie Jean King is not his lover.
-- Jerry the Nipper, May 21st, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

(I bow down to JtN for this)

-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), May 21st, 2004. (Horace Mann) (later)

Huck, why don't you ask your mom?

-- NA (naamm...), May 21st, 2004. (Nick A.) (later) (admin)

My mom's not a...hey!

-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), May 21st, 2004. (Horace Mann) (later)

Boo-yah.

-- NA (naamm...), May 21st, 2004. (Nick A.) (later)

Hold on, can we do another take? Okay...

Why? My mom's not a paleo...heeeeeey!

-- The Huckle-Buck (handsomishbo...), May 21st, 2004. (Horace Mann) (later)

You just got extermiNAted.

-- NA (naamm...), May 21st, 2004. (Nick A.) (later)

-- lauren (jaguarrid...), May 21st, 2004.

-- hstencil (hstenci...), May 21st, 2004 3:38 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Better him than Steve McQueef.
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), May 21st, 2004 4:25 PM. (later)

Pat Fear of White Flag?
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2004.

I always Pat Fear was in Fear. Okay the lead guy from Fear. That's who you look like.
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), May 20th, 2004.

Pat Fear is in White Flag
Pat Smear was in the Germs
Lee Ving is in FEAR.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 20th, 2004.

Gotchya. You look like Lee Ving in that picture.
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), May 20th, 2004.

-- Leeefuse 73 (uproc...), May 21st, 2004.

-- jellybean (jellybea...), May 21st, 2004 8:49 PM.

Answers
PUBES
-- bill stevens (bscrubbin...), May 22nd, 2004.

were can i make my beats at

-- Raymond Zaragoza (chapo55...), May 22nd, 2004 2:50 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ON A DRUM MACHINE WHY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO VOTE I'VE HAD IT
-- Mr Mime (countandre...), May 22nd, 2004 2:54 AM. (Andrew Thames) (later)

http://www.kingfishphoto.com/stfu.jpg

-- the music mole (colinsbarro...), May 22nd, 2004. (later)

There was that time he raped a monk as well.

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), May 22nd, 2004. (later)

he misspelled a word once.
or so i've been told.

xpost - but just as bad

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), May 22nd, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

touch my bum
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), May 21st, 2004.

28 Gays Later
A behind-the-scenes look at 14 Massachusetts weddings
-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), May 20th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Taming of the Shrek
After a 3-day drinking binge the green ogre goes on a murderous rampage, and it?s up to Lord Farquaad to restore order.

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), May 20th, 2004.