NU-EXCELSIOR

Dio Blames Faulty Codpiece for Unscheduled Testicular Cameo

-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 16th, 2004 10:46 AM.

that's henry and "dune"
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 16th, 2004.

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), July 16th, 2004 1:19 PM.

I think I might trade you Vidro for this.

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auto nipple detection
-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...) (webmail), July 16th, 2004 1:50 PM. (miloauckerman) (later) (link)

This is from 'If Jeff Buckley Had Gills...' on ILM.

If Kirstie MacColl had a stunt ramp for a face . . .
-- Lynskey (pau...), April 3rd, 2003 3:02 PM. (Lynskey)

they license a lot of Allmusic's material (although some info is not available), so you can use it instead. it's not as good as the old Allmusic, but it's a lot faster than the new one.

-- King Kobra (k...), July 16th, 2004.

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but it looks like at least some of the mp3.com reviews are emasculated to remove negative commentary
-- King Kobra (k...), July 16th, 2004.

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God, this Silverchair album is a piece of [HEAVEN]! Whoever thought they could create an album so [WONDERFUL]? The lyrics are astonishingly [MATURE] and it's clear that this record was made only to satisfy [LEGIONS OF DISCERNING MUSIC CONSUMERS].
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 16th, 2004.

-- gaz (mullygrubbe...), July 18th, 2004 8:38 AM. (gaz)

i know, when she told me the price it felt as if she had just punched me in the face.
and then i of course queued up for another punch in the face.

and the next morning my head felt like i've been punched in the face repeatedly.

-- ken c

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I was the victim of a vicious and premeditated assault.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), July 19th, 2004 1:20 PM. (later)

bukkake?

-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 19th, 2004 1:55 PM. (later)

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No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.
-- alix (lixibel...), July 19th, 2004 1:57 PM. (later)

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), July 19th, 2004.

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because ice cream is special too
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 19th, 2004.

Richard E. Grant is so camp that it's almost okay.

His American accent! And his passionate musicianship (which he always displays when his wife's being fucked or groped by somebody)!

-- naked as sin (myrrhperso...), July 19th, 2004.

I forget if Grant actually says "Oh, I am fucking you, pussywillow" but he might as well have.

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 19th, 2004.

except it would be spelled "O" as in

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 19th, 2004.

I thought this was about the Nickelodeon TV show KABLAM!

-- Curt1sss (sevenxvii...), July 19th, 2004.

it isn't?

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 19th, 2004.

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(if they do)
-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 9:59 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

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well that kinda defeats the point of being Jewish, if you don't get buried in your own special cemetary.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 10:01 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

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tell me about it
-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 10:05 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 19th, 2004.

The upshot of which is that the muscles etc. around that region compensated hugely. I don't mean that the Wang turned into a monster, merely that from an early age I could urinate over twice my height. A popular childhood game around our way consisted of things like "Let's see if Porl can clear that greenhouse". Happy memories.

-- Gribowitz (pau...), July 20th, 2004 9:09 AM. (Lynskey)

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), July 20th, 2004.

I didn't realize that was funny.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 20th, 2004."

I just thought that it was funny that all the American kids into emo don't realize what the word means in Finnish.

(I apologise Tuomas if it unintentionally came across that I was mocking you. Rest assured that's not what was intended.)

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...) (webmail), July 20th, 2004 4:33 PM. (amateurist) (later) (link)

http://www.mahopa.de/bilder/lustige-forenbilder/you-not-funny.jpg

Are Your There God? It's Me, Al Gore.

-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 20th, 2004.

Answers

when i grow up i want to be a principal or a caterpillar

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), July 20th, 2004.
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I wish I could go back in time so I could meet snoopy

-- TheRealJMod (Justimitatin...), July 20th, 2004.

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is this from the sexual astrology book?
-- gygax! (gygax0...) (webmail), July 20th, 2004 3:49 PM. (gygax!) (link) (admin) ()

What's Momus got to do with this?

-- AaronHz

wonder if he's listening to Thin Lizzy-oh

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Put them in his bed.
-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 7:59 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

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it's my absent roommate's bed, this guy is a subletter.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:00 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

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Put them in your bed.
-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:03 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

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it's already too hot in my room. We're on the third floor, dude.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:08 PM. (hstencil) (later) (link)

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Put them in someone's bed already?! JESUS.

-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...) (webmail), July 19th, 2004 8:09 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

"Read this on a quim, figured it would be light and silly. Found myself enjoying it much more than I thought I would. Doesn't it beg to be a film?
-- j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 20th, 2004."

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (J...), July 19th, 2004. (tracklink)

Answers
The Revolution starts now -- death to QWERTY!
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (J...), July 19th, 2004. (tracklink)

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fooey
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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Please Delete the Fat Girl Thread
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004. (tracklink)

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I LEAD THROUGH THE ZONE A/S/L/ PLZ
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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(AGE/SXE.LOCATOIN_
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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(Do regulars have a right to constantly harass people under a pseudonym?)
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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YUO WULD TIHNK TO BE CLEVRE TO KNOW ME RITE?
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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HI DERE VOLUME TOE
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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VERY CLEVRE BUT NOT CIGRE
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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HI DERE VOLUME TOE
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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HEE HEE YUO JUTS AVERTISE ME NOW!
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 19th, 2004.

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This is pretty weak 'harassment', Jon.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), July 19th, 2004.

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I actually agree with Jon that Amazing Randy is acting trollish. If he continues it, perhaps something should be done about it.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 19th, 2004.

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Martin, you didn't see the noise board before I could ban him.
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 19th, 2004.

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Fair enough Jon, but the behaviour I've seen on ILE, where I am a mod, hasn't been so dreadful yet. Also the IP is a floater, so I've no way of knowing if it's a regular or not.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), July 19th, 2004.

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hang on.... "floater"? I think its pretty obvious its a regularrrrr
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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NEW BOREDOMS!!!!!! 9/23/2004 (THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE GYGAX! AND JW KISS EACH OTHER)
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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I think his IP shows up as AOL Europe.
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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LOL
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 20th, 2004.

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WHAT WULD YUO DO IF JONATHON WILI MS HSTENCIL GAYGAX AND OTHERS WNET UP TO YUO DERSSED AS JAPANES SCHOOL GRIL AND SED L INDTED OF R AND VISE VERSUE
He registered a new name just for us.

Also, why can't I lock threads anymore?

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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you can. click "show all details" at the foot of a thread to add thread level permissions
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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Problem :
Insufficient Privileges
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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Amazing Randy is proving to be a good bug checker for admin code :D
(BTW, Alan I appreciate the time you've put into this)

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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where do you get this, what are you trying to do?
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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Clicking on the last link I posted, scroll to bottom, try to lock thread (blank username)
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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I can't even lock this thread. Ncurse! foiled again.
-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), July 20th, 2004.

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OK - i managed to do that. so it must be overzealous in checking who can and can't do this. I will have a look...
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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I think i've fixed that too - it was only working for site admins. try locking a thread now.
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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HELP HELP I'M LIGHT HEADED FROM WHITEBOARD ERASING STUFF
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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WAHT IS IT YUO DOIN????? SOPT ADVERTISIE IT!!!111
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 20th, 2004.

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STOPT AVERTIESING IT
crap threads

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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it would be nice to know if my changes have worked or not. can you now lock threads on your own board?
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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having tried it as a regular mod - i'm pretty sure this is now working as it should. as ever, any problems - let me have em.
-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...), July 20th, 2004.

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yea it works
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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Randy's back with another stupid troll identity

WHY CAN'T WE BAN BY IP?

Also, banning the new name isn't working!#@$@#$$#@!$!#!

Hey Guys! Introduce Yourselves!

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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That is, I can't ban the new user id from the entire board.

-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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TRACKBACKS are getting listed twice, btw
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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We really need to block ips
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...), July 20th, 2004.

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I ARGEEGF
-- The Amazing Randy (amazin...), July 20th, 2004.

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DEFFO
-- JAKC (jack.of...), July 20th, 2004.

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U DA MAN RANDY U DA MAN
-- ja=Ack_0FF (jack.of...), July 20th, 2004.

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WHO DA MAN
-- Amazing Randy (amazing.rand...), July 20th, 2004.

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U DA MAN
-- JAKC (jack.of...), July 20th, 2004.

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Amazing Randy is getting pretty irritating on ILE, is there anything that can be done about him? Please?

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 20th, 2004.

-- j e r e m y (jcoom...), July 21st, 2004.

also:

would you do paul whitehouse?
-- the neurotic awakening of s

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would you behold a pale horse? (and then do it?)
-- the neurotic awakening of s

-- Daniel_Rf (filosofiaebolacha...), July 21st, 2004. (later)

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I never wrote that you gaylord.
-- C-Man (cma...), July 21st, 2004. (later)

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:)
-- Daniel_Rf (filosofiaebolacha...), July 21st, 2004. (later)

also, one time at the library, a guy ("guy1") gave another guy ("guy2") $10 to go get guy1 a hooker. guy2 returned with the hooker, but it wasn't up to snuff according to guy1 (prospective buyer of hooking services). I don't know what folks expect when they get $10 hookers. Anyhow, guy2 only gave $6 back to guy1, because guy1 owed him $4 from the day before... So guy1 calls the police on guy2. Hooker meanwhile stands by watching..

-- miriam (serrano.il...), May 29th, 2003.

-- Alba (alb...), July 21st, 2004 3:14 PM

Yeah I found myself doing that with the civilization series too. And I remember as kids getting out the colecovision and pulling the cartridges so they were half in and half out just to see all the graphics get messed up.
-- ipsofacto (heyniceti...), February 10th, 2004 2:44 PM. (ipsofacto)

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tripper
-- the surface noise (electricsoun...), February 10th, 2004 2:45 PM. (electricsound)

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the game was so much more interesting when the cabbage patch kids turned into pink and blue blocks.
Whoa, time for me to go d/l an emulator i think.

-- ipsofacto (heyniceti...), February 10th, 2004 2:46 PM. (ipsofacto)

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Whoa, I'm trippin my console in a frenzy of cartridge play!
-- Trayce (trayc...), February 10th, 2004 2:52 PM. (trayce)

As you can see I'm quite wound up about this.
-- Sick Mouthy (sic...), July 21st, 2004 6:54 PM.

must be hard to wank with broccoli hands. maybe if you dip them in mayonnaise?
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 22nd, 2004.

Why, so you could pretend you'd just wanked?
-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 22nd, 2004.
(……)


Why, so you could pretend you'd just wanked?
No, see, you could get em all lubed up with mayo and then rub the stalks together on your....nevermind. I've put way too much thought into this already.
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 22nd, 2004.

Um, you don't need to refill your penis. It fills itself. It's part of the magic of evolution.
-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 22nd, 2004.

fine, you try fucking broccoli without lube, or eating it with KY Jelly all over it. See if I care.
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 22nd, 2004.

Well I've never fucked broccoli without lube, and I've never eaten a penis with KY Jelly all over it, so I feel a bit third-wheel.
-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 22nd, 2004.

hahahaha dude this is hypothetical. I mean if you wanna be able to wank and eat the broccoli hands, you gotta go with mayo lube. This is so fucking obvious.
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 22nd, 2004.

"Mayo lube'?? You're talking like there is no other kind of broccoli.
-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 22nd, 2004.

Fine, butter then. Or melted cheese.
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 22nd, 2004.

For hands?
This is getting silly.
-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 22nd, 2004.

I think we're talking about two different things here. Clue me in on what page you're on.
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 22nd, 2004.

You said it'd be good to wank with broccoli hands and mayo. Then you put KY Jelly on the mayo and replaced your broccoli hands with butter and melted cheese. Then I went to the toilet.
-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 22nd, 2004.

No no no, I was talking about how it would be a bitch to wank with broccoli hands, and you'd want to lube them up to fuck them i.e. wank with them. If you use an edible lube, you could also eat the broccoli afterwords, a la what Gear! said, provided you don't mind a bit of come in your broccoli snack. Then you started talking about how penises don't need refilling and how there's other kinds of broccoli. You lost me there, so I suggested an alternate edible lube in the form of butter or melted cheese. If you used KY or vaseline or lubriderm or astroglide on the broccoli, it probably wouldn't taste as good. You also said "This is getting silly" on a thread about whether you'd rather be blind or have broccoli for hands, which is right up there with dog latin's "castration is different from circumcision." post from earlier today. Ok, then?
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 22nd, 2004.

You've made my day. That's beautiful.
-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 22nd, 2004.

NEW EXTREME OF PITY DISCOVERED

-- DJ Mencap (lackofinteres...), July 22nd, 2004 10:38 AM. (DJ Mencap)

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So what you're saying is, soap operas are real.
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 21st, 2004 9:01 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

-- Matt DC (runmd...), July 22nd, 2004 12:23 PM. (later)

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or that you did make love that night but when you woke up it wasn't a beaufitul woman but that lardy barmaid who must surely be pushing 50, in fact whose teeth are they in that there glass???
-- the neurotic awakening of s (steve...), July 22nd, 2004 12:25 PM. (later)

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(or that you dreamt you were making love to a beautiful woman but when you wake up you have a bloody knife in your hand and there are dead bodies all around you. )
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), July 22nd, 2004 12:28 PM. (later)

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anyone???
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), July 22nd, 2004 12:33 PM. (later)

Ned and Dan haunt my dreams on black nights.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), July 22nd, 2004 8:23 AM. (later)

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Ned and Dan haunt my dreams on White Knights.
-- j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 22nd, 2004 8:25 AM. (later)

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ned and dan in purple tights
-- Velveteen Bingo (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 22nd, 2004 8:40 AM. (later)

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Ned and Dan in vicious fights!
-- Rob Bolton (i_like_my_vesp...), July 22nd, 2004 8:46 AM. (later)

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Ned and Dan on Baywatch (NIGHTS!)
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), July 22nd, 2004 8:46 AM. (later)

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Solving mysteries!
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), July 22nd, 2004 8:51 AM. (later)

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Ned and Dan watch northern lights
in their silky purple tights
if they're confused it's simply careless
for next to Ned, Dan's mostly hairless
This spectacle of mirth and glee
One can only hope to see
They'll only come on blackest nights
two kinda-interwebby knights.
-- j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 22nd, 2004 8:59 AM. (later)

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maybe they were innies
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), July 22nd, 2004 9:01 AM. (Ronan)

-- harshaw (jub...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2004 1:54 AM. (jube) (later) (link)

-- dfdfsdf (gdfgdf...) (webmail), July 21st, 2004 11:07 AM. (later) (link)

-- gddfgd@dgg (ggdfgdf...), July 22nd, 2004.
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-- dgdgdf (gdfgd...), July 22nd, 2004.

That made me laugh louder than I think I ever have from ILX for some reason. A person woke up!

Well shut my mouth wide open!

Maybe they were Lindsay Lohan's.

Obv.

Maybe this ain't your kind of bar, but it's the kind of bar we're in. Do you want another round, or will the next sip make you puke?

-- Lobster Thermador (butterl...) (webmail), July 22nd, 2004 1:58 PM. (later) (link)

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 22nd, 2004.

Answers
Things like that annoy the hell out of me. Even one of my best mate's ends every email with a line from Easy Rider.
-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...), July 22nd, 2004.

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but it made you think, i bet.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 22nd, 2004.

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everything makes sense, in a way.
-- RJG (RJ...), July 23rd, 2004 1:27 PM. (RJG)

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the same family that threw their used toilet paper into the closed wastebasket.
that's the craziest fucking thing I ever heard. Please elaborate.
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), July 23rd, 2004 1:29 PM. (AaronHz)

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I mean why dont they just poo in the wastebasket and save time.
-- Trayce (spamspanke...), July 23rd, 2004 1:31 PM. (trayce)

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everything, perhaps, except that.
-- RJG (RJ...), July 23rd, 2004 1:38 PM. (RJG)

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as in he lights his farts
-- gaz (mullygrubbe...), July 23rd, 2004.

Mark David Chapman - John Turturro

-- Elvis Telecom, July 22nd, 2004 4:06 PM. (Chris Barrus)

Big Bird as Linda McCartney

-- AaronHz, July 23rd, 2004 7:30 PM. (AaronHz)

william hung = sean lennon

-- purple patch, July 23rd, 2004 7:40 PM. (electricsound)

the white ET puppet with a black wig on as Michael Jackson

-- AaronHz, July 23rd, 2004 7:43 PM. (AaronHz)

Hamburg - Tijuana

-- Pete Scholtes, July 23rd, 2004 5:01 PM.

-- Janne Karlsson (dominakto...), April 8th, 2004.

("The moon is sort of awesome"=my favorite part)

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i'm kidding of course. the world needs indie musicians.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 23rd, 2004.

-- n o t j e r e m y (i'msayingthisonceonl...) (webmail), July 23rd, 2004 9:06 AM. (x Jeremy) (later) (link)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 23rd, 2004 8:32 AM. (ken c) (later)

I too am getting excelsiored at a higher rate than usual.

-- kyle (akmonda...), July 23rd, 2004. (akmonday) (later)

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), July 24th, 2004 2:26 PM. (latebloomer)

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Oh my god, deja vu, I'm drunk right now!
-- scott seward (skotro...), July 24th, 2004.

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:-(
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 24th, 2004.

-- your intellectual superior (kilian(dot)murphy24@mail.dcu.ie), July 21st, 2004. (later)

...

maybe you don't REALLY find them all that 'repellent in any other context' you nasty person

-- dave q (scrape10...), July 22nd, 2004. (later)

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I'm 34, senior exec at a small company, young son. Like to garden and enjoy photography.
If I decide to crank the Linkin Park in my 98 Mercury Mystique, that's my business. I like it, and your laughter at my lameness does not faze me.

-- Rojek (rroje...), July 25th, 2004.

Answers
you are still angry at your father
-- cutty (holle...), July 25th, 2004.

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those that don't exist cannot sweat.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), July 23rd, 2004.

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If a ball sweats in forest...
-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 23rd, 2004.

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What is the smell of one ball sweating?
-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 23rd, 2004.

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ask Lance Armstrong.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), July 23rd, 2004.

If they adapted Songbook into a musical, it'd just be an hour and a half of someone sitting in a very comfortable chair.

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), July 23rd, 2004. (later)

---

"I'm Just a Simple Lorry Driver"

-- dave q (scrape10...), July 23rd, 2004. (later)

-- lauren (jaguarrid...), April 28th, 2004.

Is that from a fortune cookie?

-- N. (nickdastoo...), April 28th, 2004.

--

I just downloaded "Such Great heights". FUCKING HORRIBLE!

-- Wooden (josephgoode...), July 25th, 2004. (later)

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...despite the fact that it contains some of the most cringe-inducing lyrics I've heard on the pop charts since "he's getting a tattoo, yeah he's gettin' ink done..." - I dig the horn samples, and the Stereolab-y background coos. Would love to hear a dubbed-out version
MAN is Sister Bliss still a hottie or WHAT???

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), July 26th, 2004.

Answers
drive to my store and buy it. I got plenty...it's good...and it's on sale. It will be more fun if you drive here than you would have if you buy it online.
address:

2,561,666,004 infinite trife ave.
san ibiza, calexica 95008

I sell nachos at the back counter.

-- pimpernickel (dogg...), July 26th, 2004.

debatable
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 24th, 2004 12:44 PM.

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YOURE debatable.
-- peter smith (reesewitherspoo...), July 24th, 2004 12:53 PM.

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I'm real, dawg.
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 24th, 2004 12:58 PM.

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Thinking about it it has probably happened to every 65-70 year old fictional character already, except possibly fictional robots.
-- DFM , July 26th, 2004.

-- suzy , July 26th, 2004.

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well, that was the wrong moment to be eating a yoghurt.
-- Porkpie , July 26th, 2004.

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 25th, 2004 9:39 AM. (Anthony Miccio)

-- j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 25th, 2004. (later) (link)

You guys are all fags.
-- I CAN LEAD YOU THROUGH THE ZONE (░▒▓█▌...) (webmail), July 20th, 2004 5:39 AM. (ex machina) (later) (link)

what do you mean by this jon?

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 21st, 2004. (later)

i really wouldn't bother dude
-- Ade (AdeLangsto...), July 21st, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She is made out of cardboard.
-- Leon Czolgosz (nicolew1...) (webmail), July 26th, 2004 10:04 AM. (Nicole) (later) (link)

-- Leon Czolgosz (nicolew1...), July 26th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 26th, 2004. (later) (link)

just funny because it can read like a matter-of-fact declaration wrt to how one might disguise themselves on an undercover mission

xpost

alright that's it i'm outta here

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), July 26th, 2004.

It's between my legs.

-- Je4nne ƒury (ba-dum-bu...), July 26th, 2004. (Jeanne Fury) (later)

(We're talking about the *joke*, right?)

It's between my legs.

-- Je4nne ƒury (ba-dum-bu...), July 26th, 2004. (Jeanne Fury) (later)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 26th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think that was the excelsior of the month. Or the year.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 26th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

too bittersweet for my taste
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 26th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But that's what made it so special.
(We're talking about the *joke*, right?)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 26th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no comment
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 26th, 2004.

-- Velveteen Bingo (formerlypoopsmcge...), July 26th, 2004.

-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 26th, 2004.

http://base58.com/ilx/euroclashransom.gif

"HEWWO"

but there is a new one, then.

'will'

'become'

-- ENRQ (miltonpinsk...), July 27th, 2004 8:28 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'jokes'
-- the neurotic awakening of s (steve...), July 27th, 2004 8:30 AM.

suddenly I had this vision of Jar Jar Binks santorumizing my roomie

# Alien vs Predator (2 new answers, 2 unread)
# republicans/democrats (10 new answers, 3 unread)
-- x j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 27th, 2004 6:54 PM. (x Jeremy) (later) (link)

-- That's the Way (uh huh uh huh) I Almanac (adam@4bitterguys.com), July 27th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I only have access to weed right now, will it do the trick?
-- Katherine Alice O'Brien (n...), July 28th, 2004 10:05 AM. (ipsofacto)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Obviously I can't condone anything illegal.
-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), July 28th, 2004 10:06 AM. (colin s barrow)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

obviously.
-- Katherine Alice O'Brien (n...), July 28th, 2004 10:07 AM. (ipsofacto)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was going to recommend shamanic meditation.
-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), July 28th, 2004 10:08 AM. (colin s barrow)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sounds interesting, what does it involve?
-- Katherine Alice O'Brien (n...), July 28th, 2004 10:10 AM. (ipsofacto)

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weed
-- gaz (mullygrubbe...), July 28th, 2004 10:11 AM. (gaz)

very menacing
noisy
felt vaguely masculine
loud bangings
hated astral weeks
Apparently, I'm lauren's ghost.

-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 27th, 2004 4:45 AM. (Nick A.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sorry for swearing at you, then, but i was getting REALLY annoyed.
-- lauren (warmleatherett...), July 27th, 2004 4:48 AM. (laurenp)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE STOPPED PLAYING FUCKING ASTRAL WEEKS THEN.
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 27th, 2004 5:13 AM. (Nick A.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere Van Morrison is crying.
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), July 27th, 2004 5:20 AM. (Gear!)

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and eating.
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 27th, 2004 5:29 AM. (Nick A.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And constantly taking off and putting on his sunglasses and re-adjusting his hat.
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), July 27th, 2004 5:30 AM. (Gear!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And sweating.
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 27th, 2004 5:31 AM. (Nick A.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and interjecting soulful "unhs!" into dinner conversation.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 27th, 2004 5:32 AM. (amateurist)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and carrying on a conversation with a poster of John Lee Hooker.
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), July 27th, 2004 5:32 AM. (Gear!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and wondering how to spend his fortune, and thinking about his long, successful career.
-- lauren (warmleatherett...), July 27th, 2004 5:33 AM. (laurenp)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

multitasking
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 27th, 2004 5:34 AM. (amateurist)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good times.
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 27th, 2004 5:35 AM. (Nick A.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do all of the above without the fame and fortune. =(
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), July 27th, 2004 5:35 AM. (Gear!)

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this is far more terrifying than what I'd expected.
-- x j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 27th, 2004 5:37 AM. (x Jeremy)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), July 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Björk? Is that you?

-- Ooooh Heaven is a Place on Almanac (ada...), July 28th, 2004. (later) (link)

hahaha that's exactly how I heard it before even reading your post!

-- jess (shi...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

Once I was in a pizza place in Connecticut. There was this really hot waitress working the pies like no tomorrow. Something about the way she said sausage that made me horny. "Sauseeg". Man did my sauseeg get hard when she talked. We flirted through must of our interactions. At the end of the night I asked her for her number and waht time she got off work. She said she was hanging out late tonight to close up. It was her parents shop. She asked if I wanted to stay and help. I did. We stayed late and we were so attracted to each other that we started going at it right there on the counter. We pushed the Jimmy Fund Donation can aside and layed out some flour on the counter top. We stripped butt naked and I told her to get the meatballs and sauseeg. She proceeded to shove two meatballs inside my rectum. It was hot. I rubbed her all over with capicola and mortadell. I made her my little italian sub and ate the shit out of her.

-- captainmeatballs (meatball...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

Sudan

Faggot

Georgia

how do you react?

-- yikes (ohn...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

Answers

of course he didn't tell you..and you only find out because his wife finds your phone number and calls thinking you're the new babysitter

-- yikes (ohn...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

go babysit!

-- kyle (akmonda...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

you should hang yourself in the closet

-- kephm (keph...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

Take the job. Brainwash children. Turn children against mother. Make everyone miserable.

-- Michael White (mwwhites...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

I think I've seen this before.... on Lifetime.

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

Judith Light cried, and then she made Jenna Elfman pay for messing around with her man.

-- Leon Czolgosz (nicolew1...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

Was Barry Bostwick the man?

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), July 28th, 2004. (later)

-- lauren (warmleatherett...), July 28th, 2004 4:07 PM. (laurenp)

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), July 28th, 2004. (roxymuzak) (later)

Oh wait, he's one of them, isn't he.

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), July 28th, 2004. (roxymuzak) (later)

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), July 29th, 2004 8:30 PM.

or how about a live 24 hour feed of a terminal patient dying? half of the screen real estate could be EKG readouts etc
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), July 29th, 2004 8:32 PM.

Or how about a show called 'Metaphor' which is simply vultures feeding on carrion.
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), July 29th, 2004 8:37 PM.

Or what about a show called 'Grumpy No Fun' starring me right now?
-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), July 29th, 2004 8:37 PM.

-- AdamL :') (ada***@******.com), July 29th, 2004 11:31 PM. (later)

you might want to familiarize yourself with the U.S. Constitution
-- gabbneb (gabbne...), July 29th, 2004 11:31 PM.

A crunk album for every kindergarten, a thong for every toddler, a lowrider for every little league team.
-- AdamL :') (adamrl@gmail.com), July 29th, 2004 11:31 PM.

sebastian are you canandian or portuguese? i forget.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 29th, 2004.

(...)

(amateur!st, first and foremost I'm a self-sovereign individual. Legally I'm canadian and québecker)
-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), July 29th, 2004.

amateur!st, first and foremost I'm a self-sovereign individual
oh, brother.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 29th, 2004.

You two are related? Blimey, that's a turn-up for the book.
-- Careful with that Almanac Eugene (ada...), July 29th, 2004.

the brotherhood of anarchy!
-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), July 29th, 2004.

I think an atheist/agnostic president/prime minister/etc would prevent school boards to try to ban the teaching of evolution in schools.
-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), July 29th, 2004.

why do you imagine that presidents have absolute power over the goings on in their countries?
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 29th, 2004.

why are you a prick? You bring food for thought to what I said but it's a shame about the prick-like delivery of content.
-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), July 29th, 2004.

(....)

sorry for being a prick but i'm turned off--on boards as in real life--by people who announce their "self-sovereignty" (and suchlike) and ideological affiliation without prompting.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 29th, 2004.

is simply saying "i am canadian" an announcement of an ideological affiliation without prompting? yes it is Mr.Pal!
-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), July 29th, 2004.

no, it means you live in canada.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 29th, 2004.

it's night of the wilfully impenetrable on ILX!
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 29th, 2004.

do you know about anarchy?
-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), July 29th, 2004.

anyway it's not the topic of this thread.
-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), July 29th, 2004.

This actually just had me crying, mostly because I was imagining the Pinefox's reaction.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*does so* But that's sorta inconvenient, isn't it?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 29th, 2004. (later)

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mmphmmngn.
-- lauren (warmleatherett...), July 29th, 2004. (later)

-- x j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 29th, 2004.

Hey, come to think of it, I STILL have never been to me!!

-- briania (lyriclas...), July 29th, 2004 10:00 AM. (later)

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Brian, I went to you - I even bought the t-shirt. It shrunk in the wash.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), July 29th, 2004 10:06 AM. (later)

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 29th, 2004. (later)

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*makes dope gang hand gestures*
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), July 29th, 2004 1:38 PM. (later)

revive because I had a vision of Chuck Eddy coming across this thread and looking up like the old Native American dude in the 1970s commercial about pollution, with one tear coursing its way down his cheek
and because no one mentioned "Purple Rain" or "Mama Said Knock You Out"

-- Begs2Differ (expresso222...), July 28th, 2004 2:52 PM. (Begs2Differ)

It's the vision of Chuck Eddy that did it.

-- Johnny Fever (johnny.feve...), July 29th, 2004.

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And complain about the ep not being included.
-- Johnny Fever (johnny.feve...), July 29th, 2004.

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So let that be a lesson to you.
-- AdamL :') (adamrl@gmail.com), July 28th, 2004 6:17 PM. (later)

I hope this record sucks and sells peanuts.

-- Johnny Fever (johnny.feve...), July 29th, 2004 1:31 PM

Ghost Dad glorifies satanism.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), July 29th, 2004.

Yeah but it glorifies that branch of satanism that takes care of its kids!
-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 29th, 2004.

"that's it Rudi, mix the baby blood with the lambs blood, now rub it in daddys sunken withered eye sockets. now chant after me, in latin, dominus adoremus, now dye your hair blonde and kill yourself"
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), July 29th, 2004.

Awesome.

-- Wooden

That's beautiful, Ned. You've made my day.

fucker travelled the whole game too

-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), July 29th, 2004 7:22 PM. (Gear!) (later)

-- x j e r e m y (jcoomb...), July 29th, 2004 7:26 PM. (later)

I like to shoot wild animals with paintballs - the problem is, they never play by the rules.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), July 29th, 2004 7:28 PM. (later)

Shut the fuck up weirdo.

-- C-Man (cma...), July 29th, 2004 7:28 PM. (later)

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and Baretta TOTALLY woulda busted these guys.
-- Kingfish von Bandersnatch (jdsalmo...), July 29th, 2004.

Gareth, you're better than this.

-- Leon Czolgosz (nicolew1...), July 29th, 2004. (Nicole) (later)

-- x j e r e m y (jcoomb...) (webmail), July 29th, 2004 8:16 PM. (x Jeremy) (later) (link)

I just wanted to second that one. The first post here was the one, the second was the scenario of one person frowning wihile everyone laffs, and exponentiates the whole thing. Yeah!

"I saw this thing on The Science Channel the other week / about how if a gurl is at a certain point in her menstrual cycle she's probably clean / she's ovulating well regularly / so I reckon I could well be in."
-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...), July 29th, 2004 1:34 PM. (later)

I saw this thing on Bravo the other week, said that if she puts her hands down your pants, she's probably keen.
-- Alba (alb...), July 29th, 2004 1:35 PM. (later)

"I saw this thing on TVX the other week/said if she kneels in front of your knob with her mouth open when you're about to come she's probably keen."
-- Wooden (josephgoode...), July 29th, 2004 1:40 PM. (later)

I saw this thing on channel 5 the other week, said that if she played with her pussy while sliding a condom on your dick, she's probably keen. She's playin with her pussy well regularly, so i reckon i could well be in.

-- thesplooge (sploogeyo...), July 29th, 2004 2:19 PM. (later)

-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), July 29th, 2004 3:50 AM. (nickalicious)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), July 30th, 2004.

-- Ronan

Answers
i voted in 2000
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), July 30th, 2004.

"I say, um, Jebediah, hast thou seen mine container of the electrical effluvia which, er, playest back tunes of great merriment and disport through, uh, the small devices placed in one's earhole?"

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 30th, 2004 11:03 AM. (later)

-- Bimble (grippledybu...), July 30th, 2004 5:37 AM. (bimble) (later)

you're thinking of andrew sullivan

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), July 30th, 2004 5:46 AM. (James Blount) (later)

-- Ned Raggett (ned@..)

Sonic Youth were fantastic, though, barring a few technical problems (a loud amp feedback hum on "Paper Cup Exit," Thurston's guitar much louder than Lee's on "Unmade Bed") and excepting the fact that they didn't play "The Dripping Dream"! The highlight for me was "Stones," which they rocked more than on record. The nicest surprise was "Skip Tracer," which I haven't seen them play since '95, probably. They closed the show with a pretty kick-ass rendition of "Sugar Kane," although I was still wishing so much for "The Dripping Dream" that I was disappointed. Still, even though I haven't seen a ton of shows this year, it may have been the best so far.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...) (webmail), July 30th, 2004 8:10 AM. (jaymc) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dude, you are *SUCH* a corny 90's indie fuq
-- Whiskeytown Littlecock (░▒▓█▌...) (webmail), July 30th, 2004 8:12 AM. (ex machina) (link)

This is probably going to hit too close to home for most of you, but I'll risk alienating myself anyway:
-Riding with someone who's insane about listening to music in the car. This entails the following:

* Spending more than five minutes going through a CD billfold, looking for the "right" CD to listen to for our twenty-minute journey.
* Skipping through tracks, going back and forth, sometimes changing the entire album if using a multiple CD changer.
* If no CD is used, than the fast-forwarding and rewinding of songs on a tape can be substituted for all of this, or
* Spending a maximum of three seconds on every radio station, concentrating on looking for the off-chance that someone out there is broadcasting that lost Beefheart classic or something.
Really, I just hate sitting there in the parking space as a passenger as the driver does everything inside the car except DRIVING IT. It's not an airplane, dude.

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...) (webmail), July 29th, 2004. (later)

---

I've seen a guy punching a woman in public (in Edinburgh) once. It was not a pretty sight and when she fell to the ground he gave her a couple of kicks too.

The most disturbing thing of all was that no one intervened. People just walked by and ignored it - IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.

Now, you're asking "well why didn't you do something?" Well if there was a cop around I would have, but the guy would have kicked the fuck out of me as well, so there was no way in hell I was going to try and tackle him or anything. The girl, being an evident airhead, got up to her feet and walked off with the guy anyway.

As I mentioned on ILX before, I was in an abusive relationship for a short while with someone who would physically attack me for no reason. I never punched her, nor did I think I should have, but looking back I was well within in my fucking rights to give her a slap in the face in an attempt to get her to lay off. But I never could bring myself to, not to a girl - but my mates who used to hear her freak out attacks say that they would have definately done so, and I know that one of her ex-boyfriends did the same thing.

If a girl is going to throw herself into acts of aggresive violence then the guy has a right to retaliate. But if its a punch in the face, the girl better be built like Chyna or something. I don't see that as being justifiable.

-- C-Man (cma...), July 30th, 2004. (later)

Spiderman 2 sounds worse than the first.

-- C-Man (cma...), July 30th, 2004. (later)

-- miloauckerman (suspectdeviceZZzXmodsvsrockers.com) (webmail), July 30th, 2004 2:38 PM. (miloauckerman) (later) (link)

FUCK XPOST HA HA

BABY PANDAS OH NO

"...strokes and stripes have kept the middle class away from the dance floors .."
-stephen malkmus

-- duke dance (dan...) (webmail), July 30th, 2004 4:50 PM. (later) (link)

-- bob zemko (giaou...), December 1st, 2002.

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...), July 30th, 2004 5:16 PM. (Pleasant Plains) (later) - sooooo wrong

-- roger adultery (vlad62...), July 31st, 2004 11:16 PM.

Let's all go home for ginger pop!
-- the music mole (col...), July 30th, 2004 5:44 PM.

yes! we can play rounders at the bottom of the garden
-- gem (gem...), July 30th, 2004 5:45 PM.

Oh yes shall we? Oh how grand!
-- the music mole (col...), July 30th, 2004 6:54 PM.

oh yes it will be ever so jolly! DO have some cake with your pop! wherever has fanny gotten to?
-- gem (gem...), July 30th, 2004 6:59 PM.

She was talking to a rather unkempt man at the mill. He was rather dirty. He might have been a black man.
-- the music mole (col...), July 30th, 2004 7:15 PM.

oh i say! mummy WILL be cross. we'll have to muddle on without her.
-- gem (gem...), July 30th, 2004 7:25 PM.

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I'd say that "Live Forever" is pretty exciting and soul stirring - as is "Acquiese" and "Stay Young". Something about them sound exciting and makes me pretty happy when I hear them - in the house or out at the pub or played live.
-- C-Man (cma...), July 30th, 2004 4:57 PM. (C-Man)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone else?
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), July 30th, 2004 6:23 PM. (roxymuzak)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go lick a dead hamster's bum.
-- C-Man (cma...), July 30th, 2004 6:32 PM. (C-Man)

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 30th, 2004. (amateurist) (later)

as opposed to TOTALLY GAY 80'S REVIVALIST CRAP

-- Whiskeytown Littlecock (?????@?????), July 30th, 2004. (ex machina) (later)

jon you are really wearying.

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), July 30th, 2004. (amateurist) (later)

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE

-- Whiskeytown Littlecock (?????@?????), July 30th, 2004. (ex machina) (later)

jon what are you really wearing

-- Sir Chaki McBeer III (chaki.tim...), July 30th, 2004. (chaki) (later)

I'M NOT WEARING PANTS

-- Whiskeytown Littlecock (?????@?????), July 30th, 2004. (ex machina) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So has Dennis the Menace.
-- Huck (handsomishbo...), July 31st, 2004.

-- Easy (comeo...), July 31st, 2004.

I personally can't get enough of "Osprey Hailing a Cab"

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), July 30th, 2004 8:25 PM. (tracerhand) (tracklink) (later) (link)

ha ha yeah these days I'm a bit partial to Lone Canon Saluting Hot Water With Palm of Hand

-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), July 30th, 2004 8:26 PM. (nickalicious) (later) (link)

I quite fancy a bit of Lone Canon Saluting Hot Water With Palm of Tracer Hand

-- parakeet_esparanto (parakeetesparant...), August 1st, 2004 9:35 AM. (parakeetesparanto) (later) (link)

I am growing rather fond of Hipster Trucker Asshat Sofa Bangbang.

-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...), August 1st, 2004 9:41 AM. (Nick Southall) (later) (link)

Mabve a little Venus Lobster Rope-Trunk Quirt action?

-- Kenan (edito...), August 1st, 2004 9:57 AM. (kenan) (later) (link)

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), July 30th, 2004 8:07 PM. (GeirHong) (later) (link)

-- suzy (theartskooldisk...), August 1st, 2004

Anyway, Electroclash rules!!!

-- Geir Hongro (geirhon...), July 30th, 2004 8:07 PM. (GeirHong) (later) (link)

?????
???????
?????
-- Begs2Differ (expresso222...), August 1st, 2004.

Worst pornography backing music ever.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was about love
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), August 1st, 2004.

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), July 30th, 2004 12:08 AM. (roxymuzak) (later)

And punching women in the face.

-- Alba (alb...), July 30th, 2004 12:09 AM. (Alba) (later)

(both of these made me laugh separately but I don't want to use unnecessary postage)

-- Gear!

Maybe he's Ronan
-- Curt1sss

It’s ‘Crashed The Wedding’ with strings b/w Busted going a bit emo, shittily. Actually, ‘Thunderbirds Are Go!’ ain’t that bad, except for when it sounds like they’re singing “fondue birds argot,” and you expect some kind of witty treatise on Abigail’s Party but it never comes.

-- William Bloody Swygart

-- Mog (mogbaske...), August 2nd, 2004. (later)

i miss you.
-- dog latin, August 2nd, 2004.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i mean, i try but i'm not that handy with a gun and you keep moving.
-- dog latin, August 2nd, 2004.

-- jel -- (freeduni...), August 2nd, 2004. (jel) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She became Sabrina the twenty-something witch, and no one cared anymore.

-- Kim (grimstitc...), August 2nd, 2004. (Kim) (later)

i love how people are literally dissecting something i wrote at 1 am piss drunk.

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), April 12th, 2002.

and just think how many people have spent how many hours dissecting music people created while piss drunk at 1am on this entire fucking borad

-- M Matos (michaelangelomato...), April 12th, 2002.

no confirmation of c on t but speculation abounds.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 2nd, 2004. (later)

Obviously I prefer the bands they copy to Coldplay themselves, but really, I don't mind Coldplay.
-- Callum (disposition_reflection_tria...), November 1st, 2002 6:58 PM.

Answers
I mind being beaten in a pub quiz by them when at least two of the answers to questions were "Coldplay". And the self-congratulatory shit! And the taking over of the jukebox to play THEMSELVES! Yes, I fucking mind Coldplay, the pricks.
-- Mark C (boyincorduro...), November 6th, 2002 12:39 AM.

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Did loads of people crash after midnight?
-- Which Describes How You're Feeling All the Almanac (ada...), August 3rd, 2004 1:38 PM. (Autumn Almanac)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yeah well they were all on a sort of invisible starting line on the freeway at 11:59pm. after that mayhem ensued.
-- gem (gemily7...), August 3rd, 2004 1:40 PM. (trisk)

(I have this visual of a load of cars, Python-cartoon-style, piling onto each other over some line. Its making me giggle)

-- martin m. (mushrus...), July 30th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

really? where are the refernces?
-- Kingfish von Bandersnatch (jdsalmo...), July 30th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The names of the teachers you find in the notebook at the school are K. Gordon, T. Moore and L. Ranaldo. Also, the house Harry has to go through to get to the other side of the block (to find the church) apparently belongs to K. Gordon. (The name's written on the key he finds in the school's boiler room.)
Yeah, I've played that game far too many times so I remember details like where some things are found, but the name references are so obvious that I noticed them the first time I played. I'm still wondering why the game developers left out S. Shelley though.

-- martin m. (mushrus...), July 30th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe they are obsessive and resentful Richard Edson fans.
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), July 30th, 2004.

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They didn't consummate DURING the Heart concert, did they?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 2nd, 2004.

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Oooooh, BARRACUDA...
-- suzy (theartskooldisk...), August 2nd, 2004.

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Latebloomer's dad: "Please try to understand..."
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 2nd, 2004.

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Ew....
-- Kim (grimstitc...), August 2nd, 2004.

(referencing the girl in Black Eyed Peas)

-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), August 3rd, 2004 9:44 PM. (Dada)

c-man is an animal lover.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 3rd, 2004 9:50 PM. (ken c)

-- dan carville weiner (migg...) (webmail), August 3rd, 2004 8:55 AM. (later) (link)

-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...), August 3rd, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------

1) Your mamma
-- C-Man

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), August 3rd, 2004. (later)

I think they're both incredibly beautiful, like mosaics shot through with Aegean light or something.

-- AdamL :') (adamrl@gmail.com), August 3rd, 2004. (later)

Or a really good omelette. Sorry, I'm on drugs.

-- AdamL :') (adamrl@gmail.com), August 3rd, 2004. (later)

-- St. Nicholas (naamm...), August 3rd, 2004.
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And they modeled the T-1000's after Dutch Schaeffer, who killed one of their predators?

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...) (webmail), August 3rd, 2004 4:03 PM. (Pleasant Plains) (later) (link)

I make a bald clam: Giants won't make it this year.
-- The Dreaded Rear Admiral (leeee...), August 3rd, 2004 6:07 PM.

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Rangers collapse watch! I don't think Scott Erickson's going to right the ship.
-- miloauckerman (suspectdevic...), August 3rd, 2004 10:31 PM.

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The hell you say, Milo?!?!
-- David R. (quoteidio...), August 3rd, 2004 6:20 AM.

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"bald clam"????!?
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 3rd, 2004 7:17 AM.

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Hot!
-- David R. (quoteidio...), August 3rd, 2004 8:34 AM.

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only if you're a paedo.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 3rd, 2004 8:46 AM.

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Shaving, stencil, shaving.
ANYWAY.

-- David R. (quoteidio...), August 3rd, 2004 8:49 AM.

(overheard conversations thread)

Is it a kind of music, like, a genre? If so, what are some Noise artists (other than, presumably, some people here)?
Is it the kind of music that rich kids with enough money for any kind of gear they want but absolutely no musical talent play?

-- Dan I. (w1nt3rmut...), August 4th, 2004.

Answers

It's like when you don't know if it's gonna be a fart or a shit, but you let it rip anyway.

-- AaronHz (aaronh...), August 4th, 2004.

I knew it.

-- Dan I. (w1nt3rmut...), August 4th, 2004.

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THE HALOCAUST
Is that like when Halo 2 comes out, like Mortal Monday or whatever?

-- AaronHz (aaronh...), August 4th, 2004.

It was a happy night for Ginuwine, his new album 100% Ginuwine went Double
Platinum and he was having a party. Well might as well not called it a party
mostly some of his close friends showed up. He was so upset at that, Puff
Daddy was having a party tonight also, and everyone chose to go to his. Oh
well he had to make the best out of it. Him and his friends sat around
playing cards. Maybe he would feel better if he took some of there money
cause they were all bad players. Nas had a bad temper so when he didn't get
any good cards he would suck his teeth like it hurt. Usher would pretty much
smile through the whole hand when he had some good cards.K-Ci would start to
mumble under his breath when something bad was happening. Method man was the
only person he had to worry about. He kept a straight face at all times.
Through the night they played and all of them felt bored, Usher felt this
game could be a little more fun.
"Ay ya'll come on let's make this a little more worth playing."
K-Ci looked at Usher and then at Ginuwine.
"What you got in mind man?" said Method Man
"Why don't we raise the steaks, will start a new game but we will just deal
cards. We will through cards out and the person with the lowest card has to
empty his guts to the group and his clothes...meaning the person with the
highest card gets to ask the question and picks what part of clothing to take
off."
Everyone looked around and smiled. They kind of liked this new game they were
about to play. Nas seemed a little more into the game now. They shuffled the
cards and passed them out. They all threw out a card, Usher had a 9, Nas had
a jack, K-Ci had a king, Ginuwine had a Queen, and Method man had a 7. Method
sucked his teeth and waited for K-Ci to throw the question and clothing.
"Okay Meth, take off that shirt. And your question is...have you ever been
raped when you were locked up?"
Method man took off his shirt but still had a tang top on.
"Alright K, yeah I was raped a few times but nothing to tell people about."
They all forgot about that hand and gained some knowledge about Meth. They
threw cards out again. Nas had an Ace, Usher had a Jack, K-Ci had a 5,
Ginuwine had a 3, and Method man had a 10.
"Alright G-Man, take off your shirt, and your question is...yo have you ever
had sex with some of your fans?"
Ginuwine took off his tang top exposing his chest which had sweat all over it.
"Yeah man, I've had sex with plenty of my fans. They are why I'm here so
might as well give back, know what I'm saying."
They all laughed. It went like this for a little while. This went on for
about 30 minutes and now Ginuwine was in his boxers after getting lucky with
an Ace. Nas was still in his boxers and sweat pants, Usher was in his briefs,
he got lucky with a 5 instead of the 2 Meth got. K-Ci with a tang top and his
boxers on.
"Alright Meth uh damn...you ain't got nothing left. Take off the boxers. and
your question is....You ever experiment with a guy before...and tell what
you did?"
Method Man stood up and took off his gray boxers. For the first time they saw
Method Man's 11 inch Cobra, but at the moment it was just a 7 inch worm
chillin.
"Yeah I did a few things with guys mostly with family members. Me and my
brother Shyheim used to suck each other off and if we were horny enough fuck
each other. I remember like 3 years ago we were just chillin in the house
listening to the Wu-Tang CD..."

"Ay Meth this shit ain't to right."
"What the fuck that mean?"
"It means this shit fucked up...it ain't as good as the last one."
"Man fuck that...you don't know shit."
"I know this shit fucked up."
Method Man went over to him and got in his face.
"Ay don't talk down bout Wu-Tang little nigga, when was the last time
somebody bought your record."
Shyheim got mad at that and pushed him.
"What the fuck."
Method man pushed him back. Soon as that happened they were on the ground
wrestling, Meth being the bigger stronger one won with little effort. Meth
got up and turned his back and Shyheim dove at him knocking him on the
ground. They went at it again this time with more force and it lasted for
about 10 minutes. The same outcome...Meth ontop of him pinning him down. This
time though they were smiling at each other and could feel each others dick
hard as steel in there sweat pants. They started kissing and were grinding
into each other through there sweat pants. Shyheim pulled down his pants and
then pulled down Meth's, they started grinding some more and Meth needed a
little more. Shyheim got on top of him and started licking down his body
until he got to Meth's 11 inches of meat. He couldn't believe how big it was.
He started licking the head and after he got his whole dick wet he opened his
mouth and started to engulf it. He had to open his mouth real wide to take it
but he didn't mind. Meth laid there with his hands behind his head rapping
some of the songs on the album. Shyheim finally made it to 8 inches in his
mouth and started to suck real hard, Meth closed his eyes and moaned
"Oh man...yeah suck that dick."
Method Man kept saying that over and over, Shyheim was so into the blowjob he
couldn't hear Meth telling him to slow down. He was sucking his dick like his
life depended on it. Meth was trying his best to hold off, he didn't really
want to cum. Finally Meth got him to stop and they switched to a 69. Method
man wanted to repay his brother for the good blowjob he was getting. Shyheim
wasn't no where near as big as him with 7 inches but he was kind of thick.
Method man took his dick down with no problem and started to devour his thick
7 inches. Shyheim wasn't good at giving and recieving pleasure at the same
time. He stopped slurping on Meth for a minute to enjoy his blow job. Meth
liked sucking dick, it was something he kept hidden except to certain people.
Nobody in the group knew he did, but other then Shyheim 3 other people knew.
Shyheim started going back to work on him, and ended up taking another inch
of him into his mouth. Above the music all you could hear was the slurping of
two dick hungry brothers giving there all. Soon a they both started cumming
into each other's mouths, but neither of them stopped sucking. After seven or
eight shots between them they got up and started kissing. Passing each others
cum in there mouths.

Ginuwine was shocked at the story, he didn't think Meth got down like that.
They threw out more cards and Nas came up with the low card and Usher got
the King.
"ALright Nas take off the sweat pants and your question is what person have
you fucked in the music business that surprised you the most?"
Nas took off his sweat pants and was a little embarrassed cause his dick was
super hard from Method Man's story.
"Let me think...truthfully I have to say R. Kelly."
Everybody looked in shock, not that Nas admitted to fucking dudes but he got
a piece of Mr. Bump N Grind.
"He seems real cool, but after we had finished the video together he started
taking off his clothes in the studio and let me tell you...that night I
believed I could fly."
Everybody laughed and then Usher asked him what did they do.
"That night we did everything. He give good head and he told me to bend
over...I thought he was gonna fuck me but he ate my ass and that shit felt so
good. That was the first time somebody did that to me. He turned on the
microphones and the studio being empty recorded us fucking on tape. That shit
was hot young, I still beat my dick off those nights."
They all grabbed another card and through it out. Usher got the low card, and
Ginuwine again got the Ace.
"Alright Ush...got to take off those briefs...and your question is Where is
the most weird place you jerked off."
Usher got up and took off his briefs which was hiding nothing. His full 9
inches was out for the world to see.
"Uh let me think...I have to say on the Janet Jackson tour I was hard as hell
getting ready to go on stage cause I just saw Janet naked by peeking into her
dressing room. I unzipped my pants while nobody was around and jerked off
right there beside the speaker on stage."
"Wasn't you scared of being caught?" said K-Ci
"Yeah but that's what made it feel so much better."
Usher and K-Ci laughed. It was getting down to the last wire. They through
out cards again. Ginuwine got the low card this time and Meth got the Jack.
"Alright Man take off the boxers...your question is you ever gave a nigga
some top before."
Ginuwine was shocked at the question, he got up and took off his boxers, he
was hard as shit. When he took off his boxers his 7 inch dick slapped his
belly.
"Well...yeah. Before I got my deal or whatever me and my friends used to make
bets on football games and stuff. When you don't have any money you bet to do
crazy stuff like cut the other persons grass or in my case bet on sexual
favors. Me and my DAWG Money was waiting for the Redskins, Dallas game to
come on. You know the one they played the last game of the season..."

"Ay nigga I bet you any amount of money that Dallas crush those pigs."
"Whatever...Redskins are on a roll they gonna beat Dallas ass."
"How much you wanna bet?"
"You know damn well I ain't got no money."
"Alright then...uh will do what Dre and Chris did last week then."
"What's that?"
"I'll bet you some head."
"What???"
"If Redskins beat Dallas then I'll give you some head. But if Redskins lose,
then you have to give me some head."
Ginuwine thought about it for a minute. Then he figured Redskins were on a
roll, know way they could lose.
"Alright nigga you on."

"As you know the Redskins ended up losing that game and when the final score
was told Money was just laughing his head off, telling me start licking my
lips."

"Yeah nigga I told you Dallas was gonna win lick your lips and get over here."
Ginuwine slowly got on his knees in front of Money.
"Alright man damn you won just pull down your pants and let's get this over
with."
Money had his belt, pants, and boxers down around his ankles in no time flat.
"You know you in for it right, I haven't bust a nut in like two weeks."
Ginuwine put his hand around his friend's now hard dick. It wasn't that big
so he wouldn't have to worry about choking. He took the head in his mouth and
started to lick around it. Money closed his eyes and just bit his lip, he was
gonna enjoy this shit. Ginuwine started to go down further on the 6 inch
dick. Each inch he took made Money moan louder, he remembered how he liked
girls doing certain things to his dick when he got sucked so he did those
things to Money...and the reaction was a good one. Money grabbed onto his
shoulders and started humping his mouth it wasn't gonna be to long until his
release. He started moaning Ginuwine's name telling him to suck harder.
Ginuwine slowly forgot about not wanting to do this at first and started to
like having hot flush in his mouth. He sucked harder and harder until Money
couldn't take anymore. He grabbed Ginuwine hard and started cumming into his
mouth. Ginuwine started swallowing the new liquid and kept sucking on his
best friends dick. Money pulled out of Ginuwine's mouth when he was done. He
fell back into the chair behind him totally spent. He looked up at Ginuwine
and smiled.
"DAmn man, we got to bet head more often."

"I bet that's a story you don't want to give to the press." said Usher
Everyone laughed and then some questions came to mind.
"Alright now just one of us still have clothes on, what if one of us naked
people get a low card. Then what?"
Everyone looked at Usher since he was the one who thought of the game.
"Alight if you already naked and get a low card you got to stand up and jerk
off for everybody to see."
They didn't have any problem with that. So they continued to play. They
through out cards again This time K-Ci got the low card and Nas got a King.
"Alright take off the boxers and your question is...If you could fuck and be
fucked by one person in the music industry right now with now strings
attached, who would it be?"
K-Ci took off his boxers he was kind of calm his dick was semi hard and it
was big even semi.
"Umm anybody huh. I would have to say DMX."
"Why DMX?"
"Cause he always barking and shit on stage and gives a good show, loves to
take his clothes off. I would like to see how loud he bark with a dick up his
ass."
They all laughed at his remark. Nas laughed the most then he started to
comment.
"Yeah but I've seen that nigga dick before, his dick ain't no joke he might
have you barking once he get in your ass."
"Ay that's why I picked him too, he would probably be the guy to just do it
all rough without no mercy."
They through out another card and Nas ended up getting the low card and Usher
got a Queen.
"Alright Nas, you the last one with clothes on take off the boxers and your
question is including tonight from the dicks you've seen, who has the biggest
and how did you find out?"
Nas took off his boxers and his dick was just leaking pre-cum.
"Alright the biggest dick niggas I've seen is, Busta Rhymes and Mase. They
both got 12 inches of long thick meat."
"How you find out?"
"It was after the Puff Daddy and the family tour. We were all chillin at the
hotel and yeah I got horny, word around the hotel was that Mase could give
you a good fuck. So I walked to his room and knocked on the door, but nobody
answered. I started walking back to my room, dick in hand when I heard some
loud moaning coming from Busta room. the door was cracked so I looked in and
saw Mase bent over with Busta tearing that ass up. Busta was yelling how good
the ass was and turned toward the door and saw me jerking my dick. He told me
to come in so I did.

"Yeah nigga you like what you were watching?"
"Fuck yeah."
"Go ahead you can get in that ass for a minute."
Nas stepped behind Mase and took over where Busta left off. Nas couldn't
believe how tight Mase was specially after looking at the thick piece of meat
that just came out of him. Nas grabbed on to Mase's hips and started pumping
faster, he wanted to fuck him so hard that they would be stuck together.
Busta took this time to inspect Nas body, he liked the size of Nas's dick
and he loved to look at Nas plump little ass. He decided he needed to cum and
he wanted to cum right up in that ass. He moved behind Nas and bent him over
while he was still fucking Mase, he grabbed the lube that was on the bed and
started sticking his fingers up Nas ass. Nas didn't pay to much attention to
it at first but when four fingers entered him he knew Busta was gonna stick
that monster up in him. He slowed down fucking Mase a little cause the
fingers were feeling good. Soon though Busta was ready to hit it so he
stopped and lubed his dick up again and started to enter Nas. Nas cried out
in pain but Busta really could've cared less. Busta kept entering him until
his 12 inches were digging in Nas guts. Busta stood there for a minute with
his dick up Nas ass and Nas up Mase while Mase jerked his dick. As if on the
same key they both started fucking at the same time. Each thrust in Nas
making him fuck Mase even harder. The pace grew fast and they were all
sweating at how hard they were going at it. Busta grabbed Nas's hips and
started going deeper, plowing that ass. Nas was moaning at the top of his
lungs as he fucked Mase at an incredible pace. Mase was on the verge of
cumming but was trying to hold back.
"Yeah nigga you was watching me fuck that nigga now I'm fucking you. How does
that feel."
"That shit feel good! Fuck me Harder!"
They all started fucking harder and just as Mase was getting ready to cum Nas
started cumming inside Mase and like a chain reaction Mase came all over his
hand and the bed. Busta thrusted two more times before he went over the edge
and started emptying his nuts inside Nas.

"After that we all just laid down on the bed and fell asleep."
"I guess so" said Ginuwine "All that damn fucking."
Everybody started laughing. Nas looked around at everybody, they all had hard
dicks in hand stroking.
"My tale turned you guys on that much?"
They couldn't do anything but smile at each other.
"Alright let's get on with the game, let's see who the first victim will be."
With that more cards were thrown out, Method Man came up with the 6 and just
grinned.
"Two out of three."
They laughed at him, and Meth knew there was no way out of it. He got up dick
in hand and started slowly stroking it infront of the group. All eyes were on
him, Meth was having a little problem, he wasn't used to jerking off with
people staring at him so he closed his eyes and started fantasizing about
Nas's story thinking about Busta being with him like that. In no time at all
he had forgot about the others and was jerking at a fast pace. His hips were
bucking and they all knew he was about to cum. Just as they blinked the first
shot flew to the end of the table where Usher sat. Meth opened his eyes and
was a little stunned, he really had forgot all those guys were sitting there.
Ginuwine looked over at Usher and they all started clapping as Meth sat back
down rubbing the rest of his cum into this skin. Meth was still breathing
hard but felt a little satisfied. After he came his dick started shrinking
back into it's 7 inch soft stage. They played again with Nas getting the low
card. Nas got up and didn't think nothing of it. He started jerking his dick
which was slippery as hell due to all the pre cum he was leaking. He didn't
take any mercy on his dick and in no time at all he started cumming. His
first shot went across the table where K-Ci sat and the rest dribbled onto
the table in front of him. They all clapped again and Nas sat down. 1:00am
all of them had jerked off 3 times a piece and felt drained. But they loved
the game. They were gonna play one more hand and then call it a night. They
threw out a card and Ginuwine got the 2. He was so pissed at himself.
"Damn man, I just got the low card last time, ain't noway I can get hard and
jerk off again this quick."
"Well let me help you a little." said Usher
Usher reached over and grabbed Ginuwine's dick. He started stroking it nice
and hard and Ginuwine's dick started to respond.It was slowly growing in his
hand and with that he has hard as a rock. He grabbed Usher's hand and started
moving it up and down on his dick making a tighter grip. Usher did one better
he got up and pulled Ginuwine up and they started kissing. The other guys
were shocked but was gonna enjoy the sight. As they kissed they were grinding
there hips against each other causing a lot of friction between there dicks.
Nas started to jerk his dick and licked his lips.
"Damn this." said Nas
He got up and went behind Usher kissing his neck and started grinding into
Usher's bubble ass. Meth and K-Ci wasn't to far behind. Meth got behind
Ginuwine and K-ci right behind Meth. They all grabbed on each other and
started kissing each other. They soon broke off doing there own thing Usher
bent over on the table and Nas started lubing him and Usher up with his
precum. In little time Usher was slowly feeling Nas deep inside him. Nas
moaning at the tightness. Method man was working his dick back and forth in
Ginuwine's mouth, surprised he took it down to 10 inches. Ginuwine was
choking a little but what a way to go. He slurped on that thing like nobody's
business. Method Man had his eyes closed with his hands guiding Ginuwine.
Ginuwine was also getting his pleasure as K-Ci was giving him a nice rim job.
Usher started to feel his climax coming but Nas was no where near it. He was
fucking Usher hard and not letting up. With a loud moan Usher started coming
all over the table, it dribbled out and a made a large puddle on the table.
Method man was now fucking K-Ci while Ginuwine was forcing his dick into K-ci
mouth. K-Ci started to lick on the head so he wouldn't choke, besides he
wanted that dick in his ass to take up all his time. Usher's dick was now
hard again and he was actually leaking pre-cum as Nas felt himself getting
closer and closer to his moment. Nas lifted his left leg onto the table to
get in deeper and as soon as he did he started cumming. Usher felt that hot
wetness in his guts, he felt it cool down his ass and Nas was cumming so much
it was leaking out and running down Usher's legs. Method man felt himself
about to cum and pulled out of K-Ci and started jerking it and his cum flew
out onto K-Ci's back and the rest shooting up toward his neck. Ginuwine
pulled his dick from K-Ci's mouth and started stroking it a little. He walked
over to Method Man and eased him down onto his knees. Meth started to take
Usher in his mouth and the way Ginuwine started shaking a little he knew it
wouldn't be long untill his release. Nas, Usher, and K-Ci stood near them
watching to see Ginuwine cum in Meth's mouth. Method Man started to deep
throat it and that was the last straw for Gin. He grabbed onto Meth's head
and just started thrusting. He began to cum in Meth's mouth and it went
straight to his stomach. Ginuwine was groaning and hollering cause it felt so
good. Meth didn't stop though he kept Ginuwine inside his mouth and sucked
even after he went soft. He tried his best to pull out of Meth's mouth but he
was having none of that. In less then a minute Ginuwine got hard again and
was thrusting back into his mouth. Nas looked on in amazement, he couldn't
believe that Meth sucked dick so good like that. They were all hard again,
but this time they didn't bother to try any other sexual activities. It was
4:30 in the morning and they all were drained of any cum left inside of them.
They gave each other a nice tongue kiss and left Ginuwine's house.
"See ya'll guys later, we got to do this again sometime."
Ginuwine waved good-bye and closed his door. He went back into the room and
saw all the dried up cum that was on the card table and smiled. He looked
out his window again and wondered if Puff Daddy's party was as good as
this...then he thought probably not.

-- Dom Passantino (lifetimepilingu...), February 6th, 2004. (Dom Passantino)

OMG SHIT NO FUCKING HIPPIES EATING SALADS!!! THEY MUST BE FAGGOS OMG.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 4th, 2004. (later)

-- AdamL :') (adamrl@gmail.com), August 4th, 2004.

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what's your point, jon?
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), August 4th, 2004 10:23 AM. (amateurist)

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MAC OS 9
-- Holy Crap! Typhoon is Coming!!! :O (§______________...), August 4th, 2004 10:24 AM. (ex machina)

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jon, out of compassion, please explain why you continue to post "Mac OS9"? are you amazed that someone would still be using such a thing?
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), August 4th, 2004 10:28 AM. (amateurist)

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MAC OS 9
-- Holy Crap! Typhoon is Coming!!! :O (§______________...), August 4th, 2004 10:34 AM. (ex machina)

bloody andy mcdowell in whatever sodding anti-wrinkle cream ad. i.e ANY she does EVER. i mean she's such a bad actress she can't even convincingly dub her own voice with the stress in the right place to make the words printed before her make sense

"I'm on holiday - not my wrinkles" - this means that confounding expectation you are not on your wrinkles as we all thought (??) but actually on holiday

"I'm on holiday - not my wrinkles" - this is what you REALLY mean. It's not your wrinkles that are on holiday, it's YOU. YOU are on holiday WITHOUT your wrinkles.

for FUCKS sake, woman

-- Jaunty Alan (AlanTrewarth...),

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I know you look like Greg Dulli, and that's enough.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...) (webmail), August 4th, 2004 8:54 AM. (hstencil) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is Greg Dulli allowed on the Noise Board?
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...) (webmail), August 4th, 2004 8:55 AM. (Nick A.) (link)

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Fuck no.
-- AdamL :') (adamrl@gmail.com) (webmail), August 4th, 2004 8:55 AM. (nordicskilla) (link)

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=306&item=4028388057&rd=1#ebayphotohosting

-- splooge (sploogeyo...), August 4th, 2004.

Answers

Damn! Prof. X! i havaen't thoght about them for a long time...hope he hasn't fallen on hard times.

-- M@tt He1geson (mat...), August 4th, 2004.

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holy crap replace a few previous posts in the same way and it gets silly:
sex. just remembered that. i cannot have sex with other people. they get in my way, make stupid suggestions, pick at things, and generally cause a nuisance... i don't even like to talk. i go into a complete other state, coming around only to throw things at those who interrupt me.
-Lauren

Lauren, I am exactly the same way with sex for all those reasons. Plus, it is good alone time in a meditative sort of way. I don't want anyone mucking that up. My wife comes from a long tradition of "team sex" on holidays so we run into some issues on occasion.
- mcd

I don't like "team sex" but I do like having someone in the kitchen to talk to me while I sex!
-- Super-Masonic Black Hole

My ideal situation is probably the open-plan kitchen/living room, where other people can be near enough to talk to, but not near enough to suck their teeth at my sex efforts.
-- Archel

when i am having sex i really hate it when people come and ask me "what are you having sex with?". The anger is probably irrational. I think it's because most of the time I don't really KNOW what i'm having sex with and saying "some kind of chicken with onions and spring onions and garlic" embarasses me. so i'll just say "er.. beef?? what did you think?" when i'm having sex with chicken, etc. and they leave me alone
-- Ken C

-- Rob Bolton (i_like_my_vesp...), August 4th, 2004 5:36 PM. (later)

I never did translate my own first post there, so for context purposes:

oh god yes, the sex thing. i insist on working alone. i don't mind talking during the process, but they should give me a comfort bubble of at least 6 feet. they can make drinks, but that's about it.
-- Rob Bolton

-- Huck (handsomishbo...), August 4th, 2004.

Answers
I hope he and the dude from the Counting Crows share a room in the nursing home.
-- Holy Crap! Typhoon is Coming!!! :O (§______________...), August 4th, 2004.

-- Ian c=====8 (johni72...), August 3rd, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to be fair roeper's column on "fareinheight 9/11" was pretty otm in a "high school yearbook editor" sort of way.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), August 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FARENHEIT i think, right? ah whatever.
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), August 4th, 2004.

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"We all know of his film's record-breaking success at the box office, but how does Michael Moore fare in height when compared to other documentary filmmakers?"
-- Al (hoteloper...), August 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ebert must be the most polite and patient man on earth
Nah, he just knows what side his bread is buttered on. No "partner" = no "two thumbs up" gimmick = no gravy train. Doesn't matter who the other guy is.

-- Kenan (edito...), August 4th, 2004.

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i'd say it's more like "the dumber this guy looks, the better i look."
-- J.D. (aubade8...), August 4th, 2004.

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J.D. OTM
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), August 4th, 2004.

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Well, maybe it's just that the other guy has to be able to squeeze TV-ready soundbites out of his opinions as well as Ebert does, and that's the whole job description. You couldn't have, say, Jonathan Rosenbaum wnd Ebert together. Ebert would review the movie and give it a thumb, and Rosenbaum would tell shaggy dog stories about obscure academic points, and generally come off like a boring old drunk. You have to admit, Roeper's better than *that*.
-- Kenan (edito...), August 4th, 2004.

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Roeper is also preferable to Carrot Top.
I enjoy imagining Roeper leading a group of chorus girls in a round of "There Is A Man" for Ebert's pleasure.

-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), August 4th, 2004.

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hahahaha
-- Kenan (edito...), August 4th, 2004.

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"to friends he's known as Roger but to you he's just Eberrr--rrrr-rrrt! BerberberberberBERT! EBERT!"
-- CeCe Peniston (anthonymicci...), August 4th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he does seem destined for pom poms and sweaters with big letters on them
-- amateur!st (amateur!s...), August 4th, 2004.

-- Curt1sss (sevenxvii...), August 4th, 2004 4:04 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Lenny Kravitz says his skanky dreadlocks still relevant."
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 4th, 2004 4:05 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(snip snip)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Dave Matthews says Bay City Rollers' 'Saturday Night' still relevant"
-- Curt1sss (sevenxvii...), August 4th, 2004 4:06 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Shaggy says Jeannie C. Riley's 'Harper Valley PTA' still relevant"
-- Curt1sss (sevenxvii...), August 4th, 2004 4:07 PM. (later)

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"Roland Orzabal say Deep Blue Something's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" Still Relavent"
-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), August 4th, 2004 4:07 PM. (later)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 4th, 2004.

warning warning DO NOT SEE 'THE VILLAGE' IT IS A PIECE OF SHIT warning warning

-- St. Nicholas (naamm...) (webmail), August 4th, 2004 2:15 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

over and out

-- Thea (theaboy...), August 5th, 2004.

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Awesome. That means one of my guitars is a Fender Stratabeaver en francais.
-- martin m. (mushrus...), August 5th, 2004.

Elliott fucking Smith-may he rest in peace.
-- Caitlin O'Neil (englandceo...), August 5th, 2004 10:43 PM. (kurdtkobain205) (later)

Answers
Guided by fucking Voices-still going strong!
-- f ath (klintved...), August 5th, 2004 10:57 PM. (later)

Thongs, Jim.
-- Which Describes How You're Feeling All the Almanac (ada...), August 5th, 2004 1:29 PM.

As in, the foot ones, not the ones you push up you arse.
-- Which Describes How You're Feeling All the Almanac (ada...), August 5th, 2004 1:29 PM.

oh.
-- purple patch (ele...), August 5th, 2004 1:30 PM.

i almost feel the need to ask my first question again.
-- purple patch (ele...), August 5th, 2004 1:30 PM.

-- RJG (RJ...), August 5th, 2004 2:45 PM. (later)

Counsellor Trios ass and tits were ok, but that nose ruined all. Still I bet Riker would often chuckle with Warf about how if she had a abg over her head he'd do her, and then Warf would probaby say "Yeah, and her fore head isnt bumpy enough". There was an episode when the crew was all morphin ginto prehistoric froms of themselves and Warf came on to Trio by saying "GET OUT OF THAT BATH! " and biting her. Not very romantic, those Vulcans.

-- Mike Hanley (pennyson...), July 24th, 2001.

Riker and Picard are both closeted fags ( in trek and IRL)

-- anthony (anthonyeasto...), July 24th, 2001.

THey didn't seem to be too closeted to me. PIcard always strutted about like a flamboyant ass -peacock in heat.

-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), July 25th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GRAAAAH DIZZEE RASCLAAT HAVE 10,000 OF MY RETARDED BABIEZ I LUV U!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- jess (brillian...), August 5th, 2004 3:10 PM. (later)

-- Which Describes How You're Feeling All the Almanac (ada...), August 5th, 2004 2:22 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Um, I need help.
-- Which Describes How You're Feeling All the Almanac (ada...), August 5th, 2004 2:22 AM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This must be what happened at the end of all those roasts where Dean Martin and Don Rickles were the only ones left in the room.
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), August 5th, 2004 2:25 AM.

What does sp3nc3r ch0w have to do with this?

-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...), August 4th, 2004 1:33 PM. (deangulberry) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's because he's surfing for pr0n with something pre-recorded playing instead of performing.
-- aldo_cowpat (aldo.cowpa...), August 5th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is needed, is a laptop-strap, so the performer in question can make crazy rock-star poses with his machine.
-- Zach Ayres (zach_ayres8...), August 5th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what about a whammy bar mounted on the back of the screen?
-- Holy Crap! Typhoon is Coming!!! :O (§______________...), August 5th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

because it worked so well with keyboards¡
xpost

-- dyson (dyspleasur...), August 5th, 2004.

"hey that dude wearing a dress with make up on is a transvestite!"

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 5th, 2004 9:26 AM.

"You're so full of tolerance!" is going on a t-shirt.
-- VengaDan Perry (djperr...), August 5th, 2004 12:47 PM. (Dan Perry)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or an aardvark
-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 5th, 2004 12:48 PM. (ken c)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), August 5th, 2004.

Ned imitating Lil Jon shockah.

-- Leon Czolgosz (nicolew1...), August 5th, 2004.

Don't sneak into your neighbor's house and take a dump on her bed. It's tempting, but in the end it will only hurt your cause.

-- martin m. (mushrus...), August 4th, 2004.

Trust me on this one.

-- martin m. (mushrus...), August 4th, 2004.

-- (milton@par), August 5th, 2004 1:09 PM

I hate Jim O'Rourke.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), August 5th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I heard he might leave SY
-- Red Panda Sanskrit (jonathan.william...), August 5th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That would be good news
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), August 5th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I heard he might be brought as a creative/talent consultant for Killing Joke.
-- gygax! (gygax0...), August 5th, 2004.

-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢...), August 5th, 2004. (deangulberry) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AWESOMELANDOCALRISSIAN
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TURK182
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-- dean? ">uter.professional@gmail.com

-- dean? (¢¾¢ilx_omg_wtf¼¢$@#$%hotmail.¢¢!¼com$&&¾), August 5th, 2004. (deangulberry) (later)

I love [Law & Order] show so much and only I know the true lyrics to the theme song, because I wrote them but it is a big secret

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), July 10th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh my sweet lord, the idea of the theme song having lyrics just caused me to burst out laughing here at my work desk. That would just be so awful and great.
-- NA. (emmaa...), July 10th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well the opening line which runs along with the up-the-scale "da-da-da-dum-dummmm" is "Law and Order show," you can probably figure out the rest from there
-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), July 10th, 2003.

...

i knew svu sucked a big dick when i noticed they were filming things from outside the perspective of the "law" or "order" peeps...formalism rules u r all gay

-- jess (dubplatestyl...), July 10th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jess OTM. As the theme song says in the bridge:
First comes the law part,
then comes the order part

I mean you can't be changing the show to make it deviate from its theme-song's statement of purpose

-- J0hn Darn1elle (edito...), July 10th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harold needs his own X Files-style spin-off, where he routinely vanishes into thin air and reappears six months later selling Legacy badges.

-- Which Describes How You're Feeling All the Almanac (ada...), August 6th, 2004 10:03 AM. (Autumn Almanac)

Rip on "Law & Order" all you want, but turning around and claiming that "The Practice" is better strikes me as lecturing someone on how unhealthy Big Macs are while drinking a diarrhea latte.
-- Dan Perry (djp...), July 11th, 2003 5:37 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Obviously the band's called Asshole.
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), August 6th, 2004 9:36 PM. (AaronHz) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and the music sounds like shit.
-- Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), August 6th, 2004 9:41 PM. (Gear!) (later)

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well apart from some people.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 6th, 2004 8:36 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

we need names
-- the neurotic awakening of s (stevem7...), August 6th, 2004 8:39 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

algernon carruthers
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 6th, 2004 8:40 PM. (later)

i saw that movie new year's day, 1991. a year later, on valentine's day 1992, while watching kindergarten cop on tv, i threw up (too much candy at valentine's day party at school). i would not throw up again for ten years.
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), August 6th, 2004 7:53 AM.

that's all well and good but this is a humourless thread.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 6th, 2004 11:05 AM. (Ronan) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you're telling me.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), August 6th, 2004 11:07 AM. (ken c) (later)

If by "this thread" you mean "open-toed shoes", then yes I suppose we do.

-- adam.

-- Tim Finney (tfinne...), August 6th, 2004. (later)

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Yeps, Tim Finney. I find it quite bizarre as well. I'm fond of your nickname, by the way.
-- Salvador Saca (salvadorsac...), August 6th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

um...
-- Tim Finney (tfinne...), August 6th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even if it's your real name, it sounds good.
-- Salvador Saca (salvadorsac...), August 6th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well thank you then.
-- Tim Finney (tfinne...), August 6th, 2004. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I used to be play the timfinney in the symphony.

-- Michael F Gill (rain19...), August 6th, 2004. (later)

-- ENRG (poshtwa...), August 6th, 2004 3:53 PM. (later) (link)

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I want none of them to win.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), August 6th, 2004 3:54 PM. (Ronan) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want Kitten to win.
-- Dom Passantino (juror...), August 6th, 2004 3:55 PM. (Dom Passantino) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone calling themselves 'burstovary' calls the author of that digital spy post 'the New Tony Parsons'.
-- Alba (alb...), August 6th, 2004 3:57 PM. (Alba) (later) (link)

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pwn3d
-- ENRQ (poshtwa...), August 6th, 2004 4:01 PM. (later) (link)

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), August 6th, 2004 1:49 PM. (Oops) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can't skip questions IN REAL LIFE.
-- St. Nicholas (naamm...) (webmail), August 6th, 2004 1:50 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

-- Mr Noodles (infinitecow...), August 6th, 2004. (later) (link)

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...) (webmail), August 6th, 2004. (jaymc)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

They should have just called it Topless Chicks From the Centre of the Sun.
-- Huck (handsomishbo...) (webmail), August 6th, 2004.

-- kephm (keph...), August 6th, 2004 11:39 AM. (later)

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discuss
-- anthony (anthony.easto...), August 6th, 2004.

Answers
Saved from what?

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 6th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Early balding?

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 6th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IN THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB!
DONT THEY HAVE JESUS IN FINLAND, PAGAN SCUM!

-- anthony (anthony.easto...), August 6th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NO, FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD HE LEFT AT THE LATEST WHEN GAY MARRIAGES WERE LEGALIZED! GOOD RIDDANCE!

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), August 6th, 2004.

bah i keep posting simultaneously
when you were on that other thread dissing those poor 50s UK artist folks for being down with picasso years too late, and a wee bit tepid with it, i thought => but momus that is YOU — and also it is the Actual Factual Founding Era and Rationale for the ICA heh — and that is why you (and they and the ICA) may be much more interesting than you're (on THAT thread) claiming, because they have querulously refused to get with the Big Canon (= Modern Art = the top ten, same diff).

(i realise there is little real percentage in trying to find convincing common logical ground between Momus postings on difft threads)

-- mark s (mar...), April 14th, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(....)

Hail, fellow troll! Here's the secret handshake and the baton Mr Q!

Mark: when you were on that other thread dissing those poor 50s UK artist folks for being down with picasso years too late, and a wee bit tepid with it, i thought => but momus that is YOU

This is why I bring these things up, because I have a cigar in every ashtray on topics like these. On the one hand, I like to think my work is futuristic. On the other hand, it's retro. On the one hand, I quote Takashi Murakami's Superflat thing and say 'There is no high / low distinction any more', on the other I'm hanging with Matthew Arnold and F.R. Leavis and advocating scrutiny and discrimination. On the one hand I love people and their capacity for invention, irregardless of what stylists and curators and editors tell them to do. On the other hand I'm siding with the creative professionals against the idiot masses. I'm all over the shop, which is why I want your feedback.

So why are people so terrified of this hi/lo thing? Doesn't it tie into conformity and a hatred of diversity / difference (the radical line)? Or is it that people simply have no respect for their betters any more (the reactionary line)? — and also it is the Actual Factual Founding Era and Rationale for the ICA heh — and that is why you (and they and the ICA) may be much more interesting than you're (on THAT thread) claiming, because they have querulously refused to get with the Big Canon (= Modern Art = the top ten, same diff).

(i realise there is little real percentage in trying to find convincing common logical ground between Momus postings on difft threads)
-- Momus (nic...), April 14th, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Whoops, my post ends with the words 'the reactionary line', the rest is spurious paste.)
-- Momus (nic...), April 14th, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

blimey original pirate material
-- mark s (mar...), April 14th, 2002.

This man, like your roommate, is comedy gold. Nurture the friendship. Party with him.
Better yet, bring him home and introduce him around the apartment.

-- Begs2Differ (expresso222...), August 5th, 2004 5:28 PM. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Get him a little trucker hat.
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), August 5th, 2004 5:30 PM.

Has anyone here actually heard any of Pantera's old indie hair-metal stuff? I bet it's pretty fuckin funny, considering...
-- AaronHz (aaronh...), August 8th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did they even record?
-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), August 8th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y Pant Tera Reid
-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), August 8th, 2004.

-- Harold Media (1u...), August 7th, 2004 1:28 PM. (kenan)

holy sweet mother of barf

-- AaronHz (aaronh...), August 7th, 2004 1:30 PM. (AaronHz)

DONT FUKK WITH DA RAGGETT IN OZ

-- donut bitch (do...), April 30th, 2004.