I can feel Excelsior in the air tonight, oh lord, and I've been LOL all my life, etcetcetrc

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Roy North: Rewind, and select when the crowd say bo.
Basil Brush: Reeeeewindddd, and when the crowd say bo, Sellleeeeccter, ah ha HA HA HA!!!

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 25 October 2004 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

far too premature

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 25 October 2004 08:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh Sooty, look what you've done to my suit!

Olga Corbett, Monday, 25 October 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Sooty, Monday, 25 October 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey BUDDY!

Raph Ransdoth, Monday, 25 October 2004 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey WHUT?

Brad Morgan, Monday, 25 October 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Raph Ransdoth, Monday, 25 October 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Starling at Jesus.

Brad Morgan, Monday, 25 October 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)


Fuck I love 'Satanic Majesties'. Wotta rec. God I wish Brian and Mick could have worked things out. oh well.

-- Roy Williams Highlight (electrifyingmojo@), October 3rd, 2004.

-----------

THEY DID WORK THINGS OUT. MICK PUSHED BRIAN INTO A POOL.

THERE, THINGS ARE WORKED OUT.

-- DEEBZ (stupidpuma), October 3rd, 2004. (ddb)

(edited for clarity)

stevie (stevie), Monday, 25 October 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

False start.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 25 October 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

There are such things as libel laws.

Marcello Carlin, Monday, 25 October 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

yesterday i recontextualized a fucking erosion barrier as a bench
-- sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (hot.air.balloo...), October 25th, 2004.

kephm (kephm), Monday, 25 October 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Wotta rec"??

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

booooooooooooner, please gooooooooooooo away, there's no need for you heeeeeeeeeere today, so boner go away
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), October 25th, 2004 2:41 PM. (nickalicious) (later)


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BALLAD OF INCONGRUOUS BONER
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), October 25th, 2004 2:41 PM. (nickalicious) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 25 October 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

You can fry me a burger
Fry me a burger
I fried a burger over you

isadora (isadora), Monday, 25 October 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I never got the appeal of Iggy Pop.
-- jel -- (freeduni...), October 25th, 2004.


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I like teh "cute" girls, myself.
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), October 25th, 2004.

briania (briania), Monday, 25 October 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

There are such things as libel laws.

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...) (webmail), October 25th, 2004 8:30 AM. (later) (link)

and marcello, personally you should be quite glad that they leave lots of wiggle room!

amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 25 October 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm looking for a first name for a girl starting with "MUK"

-- muk (johnny143...), October 25th, 2004 1:22 PM. (later)

Answers

luk?

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), October 25th, 2004 1:23 PM. (later)

I mean "Mukluk".

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), October 25th, 2004 1:23 PM. (later)

uh... mukkake?

-- andrew l. r. (allocrypti...), October 25th, 2004 1:25 PM. (later)

mukayla?

-- jocelyn (nalra...), October 25th, 2004 1:25 PM. (later)

Do you have a reason to asume such a name exists?

-- Kevin Gilchrist (KevinGil14...), October 25th, 2004 1:26 PM. (later)

Omarpa.

-- n/a (nu...), October 25th, 2004 1:27 PM. (later)

mukenna? haha

-- A Million Talking Hot Dogs (aaronh...), October 25th, 2004 1:28 PM. (later)

muki?

-- jel -- (freeduni...), October 25th, 2004 1:28 PM. (later)

MuKenzie

-- briania (lyriclas...), October 25th, 2004 1:29 PM. (later)

mukloud

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), October 25th, 2004 1:31 PM. (later)

Mukenna

-- sgs (sarahsonni...), October 25th, 2004 1:31 PM. (later)

Mukaleckahimeckahineyho.

-- n/a (nu...), October 25th, 2004 1:31 PM. (later)

I CAN'T FUCKING READ ANYMORE

-- sgs (GU...), October 25th, 2004 1:32 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Monday, 25 October 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

You're such a fucking douchebag. xpost

-- sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (hot.air.balloo...), October 25th, 2004 12:14 PM. (ex machina) (later)

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 25 October 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

(i liked the "xpost")

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 25 October 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.duff-beer.org/margetrip.gif

Marge Simpson suppresses the rage, and look what happens to her. Its no good man. Let it out!

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), October 26th, 2004 11:47 AM. (trayce)


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http://supak.com/simpsons/ned_flanders_jogging.gif


Heavens no! :-)

-- Ned Ragget (nedsaigh...), October 26th, 2004 11:51 AM. (Gear!)


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(I think it was the ned as flanders concept... oh my)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

"If it's old enough to bleed..." is the worst I've heard.
-- Alba (albab...), October 25th, 2004.


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Yes.
-- Michael White (Sanmichel...), October 25th, 2004.


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And it usually is "it".
-- Alba (albab...), October 25th, 2004.


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"...we can kill it"
-- RJG (RJ...), October 25th, 2004.


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predator was on, last night.
-- RJG (RJ...), October 25th, 2004.


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We now need to find a stone axe.
-- Alba (albab...), October 25th, 2004.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 01:26 (twenty-one years ago)

KISS TOMORROW GOODBYE

A Nightmare He'll Never Forget.

In the early morning hours on a deserted Los Angeles beach, Dustin, a tuxedo-dressed, bottle-clutching film executive awakens alongside the body of a dead woman. Minnow, a homeless man, approaches Dustin and tells him that he witnessed him kill the girl, but he’ll “take care of it” if Dustin agrees to “take care of him”. Minnow shows up at Dustin’s home and begins taking over. He wants everything that Dustin’s has, including his girlfriend Darcy. When the body turns up alive and a blackmail scheme is revealed, Dustin tries to turn the tables on Minnow. A struggle ensues and Dustin accidentally kills the girl… The blackmail begins again, this time in earnest.

JASON PRIESTLEY
Beverly Hills 90210, Love And Death On Long Island, Tombstone

KARI WUHRER
Sliders, Kissing A Fool, Anaconda

NICHOLAS LEA
The X-Files, Vertical Limit, Bad Company

HOLT MCCALLANY
Men Of Honor, Three Kings, The Fight Club

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), October 26th, 2004 10:27 PM. (rosemary) (later)
how does a body turn up alive?

-- s1ocki (slytus...), October 26th, 2004 10:28 PM. (slutsky) (later)
isn't that just the equivalent of "somebody came over"?

-- s1ocki (slytus...), October 26th, 2004 10:28 PM. (slutsky) (later)

todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

this is kinda assholey but i did laugh:

I have got 3324 on snake 2 . me have a 3310.i am from bangladesh

-- arunava chowdhury (arun101b...), October 26th, 2004 1:32 AM.

g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

mainly cos the score is fucking astronomical!!

g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I dig it. In high school I used to try to figure out what percentage gay I was and what percentage straight. I started out at 20% gay, 80% straight, and moved it to 70% / 30% in college. Then I realized I was ridiculous, needed at least 2 complicating factors and one stoned afternoon tried to map out a crazy axis of sexuality. It was seriously polydimensional by the time I got done with it, and I forced myself to whack-off while looking at a poster of an '80s chick leaning on the hood of a Camero as the personal equivalent of a 'RESTORE TO FACTORY SETTINGS' button.
-- Remy (jcoomb...), October 26th, 2004 4:58 PM. (x Jeremy)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 06:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Beat me.

Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh.

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

That's great!

the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 07:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it true that as men age thickness of hair corresponds to quantity and intensity of orgasms induced in sex partners?
-- donna karan (dkn...), October 26th, 2004 1:02 AM. (later)

W. T. F.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"Front bottom" is a horrible term, I mean "bottom" is a bad enough term, it sounds like you should have "toot toot toot" cockney music going on and you should couple it with "guv'nor".

-- Allyzay

Although I can now never ever have sex again. Especially not in London.

Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

what the bleedin' ell is 'toot toot toot cockney music' when it's at 'ome?

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Having sex while Chas and Dave are playing "Rabbit" C/D?

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pot the ball then screw back"

Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Do the pot away. Screw Back (uh). Screw Back (uh). Screw Back (uh). Screw Back (uh)."

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone who surfs, skates, skydives or does anything else that's likely to involve a fucking stupid little beard and a sense of stoned smugness can give up all hope of ever getting into MY pants.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), October 26th, 2004 10:44 AM.

motown modown (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

This is a bit of a change from the usual excelsior post, but it really brightened my spirits ... from the fave John Peel quotes thread,
On the Dwarves:
"If hero worship were sex, they'd all be carrying my babies".

-- everything (everything196...), October 26th, 2004 1:20 PM. (later)
John Peel has now been excelsiored on ILX for evermore!

MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

9 times out of 10 Flash seems to be annoying and unnecessary.
-- Leon Czolgosz (nicole.kessle...), October 26th, 2004. (Nicole) (later) (link)


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But that 10% of PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME is so worth it though
-- TOMBOT (flas...), October 26th, 2004. (later) (link)

nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Who the fuck is gonna blow four bills on a U2iPod?
For that kind of money you could tattoo "I AM AN ASSHOLE" on your forehead and still have money left over for thirty McGriddles.
-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...), October 20th, 2004 5:21 PM. (Forksclovetofu)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahahahahahaahaha holy shit

From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't imagine why I'd want another penis, unless it's to stop the one I have being so lonely...

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), October 26th, 2004 2:02 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

the mcgriddles thing is GREAT

motown modown (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Rick Moranis blew up the entire earth and we're now living in a computer simulation originally concieved by Disney as part of the Look Who's Talking shit at Disneyworld.

-- Gribowitz (pau...), October 26th, 2004.

TOMBOT, Tuesday, 26 October 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

A sample from what is, for my money, the stupidest thread premise ever to grace ILM. Do the Sublimation is my new hero:

Every CD I buy is a substitute for a beautiful girl/woman I see walking down the street. Every CD I buy is a substitute for a happy couple I see walking down the street. Every CD I buy is imaginary landfill for whatever the void is that keeps me lonely and assless. Music makes the unspeakable ever-present frustrations of life tolerable.

-- do the sublimation (laca...), October 26th, 2004 10:12 AM. (later)
________________________________________________________________
It sounds like you're being facetious, but then what you're saying also sounds entirely plausible, where you say it in a way that might elicit laughter, but behind the laughter there is a truth to it. If what you are saying is true, then do you feel that the music is truly an adequate surrogate for what you are looking for, or are you "settling" for something lesser when you don't get what you are really looking for? And do you find this state of events acceptable? And are you willing to continue doing it at the cost of getting the "ass" you seek?

-- King Korn Carn (dsa;lklsj...), October 26th, 2004 10:38 AM. (later)
_______________________________________________________________
What I am conveying lies beyond laughter and plausibility. It is a state of affairs in which someone socially crippled (and hence sexually frustrated) maintains a veneer of popular cultural (hip) superiority inversely proportional to profound (if concealed) inadequacy, with the quixotic goal in mind of one day impressing a supermodel with musical taste and record collection size. Somehow prodigious musical acquisition will translate into her mind into heroic virility. There is nothing else to be done in this fallen world.

-- do the sublimation (laca...), October 26th, 2004 10:58 AM. (later)

From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

awesome

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

UHHHH...YOU GOT ANY GUM?

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:04 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

UHHHH...HEY PAUL, YOU GOT ANY GUM?

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:04 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

YOU GOT ANY GUM?

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:10 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

http://www.vet.purdue.edu/courses/ai/vm520/Fall%202002/browniecoag/Doberman%20gums.jpg

-- Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj...), October 26th, 2004 3:11 PM. (sexyDancer) (later) (link)

UHHHH...

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:15 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

UHHH.....

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:15 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

UHHHH....

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:15 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

...

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:15 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

YOU GOT ANY GUM?

-- n/a (nu...), October 26th, 2004 3:15 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the Letterman reference from?

From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't it a reference to Norm McDonald's Letterman parody?

manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

yes

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

right, I can't tell the difference anymore. what thread?

From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

and what if, say, a 14 year old rapes a 40 year old? do they both go to jail?

-- ken c (pykachu10...), October 26th, 2004 8:20 AM. (ken c) (later)

From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Question
Yeah, OK, so I've been sacked... Again.

(..much later)

i thought this would be a Championship Manager thread.
-- g-kit (gregkitte...), October 27th, 2004 11:43 AM. (later)

ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i have burned mind on right now and, er, well if i can't say anything nice i'm not going to say anything at all.
...

-- the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound@hotmail.com), October 27th, 2004 9:18 AM. (electricsound) (later)


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(note to self: stop buying cds)
-- the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound@hotmail.com), October 27th, 2004 9:18 AM. (electricsound) (later)


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maybe its time for you to appear on "I LOVE THE 90S"
-- sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (hot.air.balloo...), October 27th, 2004 9:21 AM. (ex machina) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Nice.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Old. But very very good:

---

Obviously Zep. It's an easy thing to answer. All of Led Zeppelin's are geniouses. John Bonham was one of the best drummers (with Keith Moon), John Paul Jones was a session musician and played a million instruments, Robert Plant a good composer (Stairway to Heaven, The Battle of evermore) and a great voice, and well..................JIMMY PAGEthe best guitar player with Hendrix. Hear the solo in the Lemmon song and you'll know Jimmie is Iomi's daddie. Ozzie Osbourne is a wancker....a scumbug. Tonny Iomi is a fine axe player but is nothing compared with Jimmie. They have a few good things: NIB, Paranoid, War Pigs; and Iron Man. But.....that's all. Led Zeppelin involved different styles to their songs. The rain Song is a great ballad, Communication Breakdown, Babe I'm gonna leave, Over the hills and far away, D'yer mak'er, Gallows Pole, etc. are different between them and not so monothematic as sabbath. In albums Zep's Led Zeppelin II is unbeatable by any of Sabbath's. Sorry....Led Zeppelin WINS and Ozzie Osbourne is a looser.
-- daniel alvarado (aliva6...), December 27th, 2001.


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it's buddy bradley!
-- ethan (ethan...), December 27th, 2001.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

The GTA: San Andreas thread has been going off:

---

YOU GET TO BEAT UP CRACK DEALERS WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND THEN DRIVE OFF LISTENING TO "ROCK CREEK PARK"
I AM FLOORED ALREADY

-- MC Transmaniacon (natepatri...), October 26th, 2004. (later)

---

OMG I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF KILLING PEOPLE TO PACIFIC AND TO MOTOWNPHILLY AND NOW I WILL GET MY WISH, IN TWO DAYS.
-- Allyzay Science Explosion (allyza...), October 26th, 2004. (later)

---

Oh and be sure to get yourself arrested to find the best weapon of all in the showers at the police station. Yes, hiding in the corner of the showers is a 3 ft purple double headed dildo. Nothing like beating up a gangster with a donger.
-- Velveteen Bingo (formerlypoopsmcge...), October 27th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Imagine You Were In A Wings Tribute Band
and you were earning more money doing that than at your day job.
What a dillema!
How could you go on after that?
-- The Best Of Wax (synthmes...), October 27th, 2004. (later)

Answers
How about being in Wings?
-- the bluefox (pinefo...), October 27th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Bittersweet, yes, but there's some really lovely stuff here: Favourite John Peel quotes

Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

He doesn't joke in emails to our listserv.
IT PUTS THE FUNNY IN THE BASKET

-- :| (...) (webmail), October 27th, 2004 10:55 AM. (later) (link)

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i loved that one

sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

actually he isn't. quit being douchebags xpost
i showered 2 times in the last 12 hours

-- sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (hot.air.balloo...), October 27th, 2004 10:15 AM.


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Bukkake doesn't count as a shower.
-- n/a (nu...), October 27th, 2004 10:16 AM.

Riot Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe "her use of extremely vivid and emotionally-charrged metaphors."
-- Alba (albab...), October 27th, 2004 6:55 PM. (later)


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emotionally-charred?
-- RJG (RJ...), October 27th, 2004 6:57 PM. (later)


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sometimes, I feel that way.
-- RJG (RJ...), October 27th, 2004 6:57 PM. (later)


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Alba is channeling his inner pirate.
-- Michael White (Sanmichel...), October 27th, 2004 6:58 PM. (later)

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

from the create new anal cunt song titles thread

Everyone here knows that Anal Cunt frontman Seth Putnam is currently in a life-threatening coma, right?

-- Dom Passantino (juror...), October 27th, 2004. (later)

YOU'RE IN A LIFE-THREATENING COMA

-- W i l l (lolomgwt...), October 27th, 2004. (later)

Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

HOLY SHIT WHY DID I BRING RELIGION INTO THIS!?!?!?!?!?

-- n/a (nu...), October 27th, 2004. (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

CRUCIFY ME NOW.

-- n/a (nu...), October 27th, 2004. (later)

Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 20:41 (twenty-one years ago)

24. You are a woman, and you keep saying, "Yeah, come on my face, baby. Give me your hot load."
-- Kenan Hebert (edito...), October 13th, 2003 5:27 PM. (kenan)


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Whereas when a guy says that in a movie, he's talking about laundry.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), October 13th, 2003 5:43 PM. (Dan Perry)


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Is it possible for guys to shoot cold loads? Y'know, like, not undead guys that is.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), October 13th, 2003 5:47 PM. (nickalicious)


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A guy that willingly does laundry? Who the hell is that, and does he have a woman?
(x-post with Dan)

-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), October 13th, 2003 5:49 PM. (Nichole Graham)


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Is it possible for guys to shoot cold loads?
Sure. It drips out, and is called sludge

-- Nichole Graham (britbab...), October 13th, 2003 5:50 PM. (Nichole Graham)


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It drips out? Wow, I feel so uneducated.
-- Layna Andersen (layn...), October 13th, 2003 5:52 PM. (Layna Andersen)


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Nichole, I don't know that guy you're with, but I strongly recommend running away before he eats your brains.
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), October 13th, 2003 5:53 PM. (Dan Perry)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

What thread is that from?

Hank Tenbeer (kenan), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I may take you up on that one day, kit. That '1981' description makes it sound a lot like the Noonday Underground remix. I did once see ...Neon Love's 'The Twilight (1981)' as an mp3 title - is 'The Twilight' a remake of sorts?

-- B.A.R.M.S. (b4rim4_...), October 27th, 2004 3:44 PM.

I dunno, in a brave stand against rockism, I've only listened to the album a couple of times.

-- kit brash (kitbras...), October 27th, 2004 11:32 PM.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Kenan - how can you tell you're in a porn movie?

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Strip, set your desk on fire and push over the water cooler. Scrawl "I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN HELL" on the conference room rug with printer toner.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), October 27th, 2004 6:54 AM. (vassifer)


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set your desk on fire and push over the water cooler.
This seems somewhat self-defeating.

-- n/a (nu...), October 27th, 2004 6:55 AM. (Nick A.)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 28 October 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

wankers don't think outside the box
-- ken c (pykachu10...), October 22nd, 2004 8:12 AM.


rappers do
-- ken c (pykachu10...), October 22nd, 2004 8:13 AM.


that's crap ken
-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Only if ken wasnt making a connection between "rappers" and "wrappers"

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 28 October 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Apropos of nothing, I saw Brett Anderson in the street the other day and he is really really handsome
-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), October 28th, 2004 6:21 PM.


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Apropos of nothing, I saw Brett Anderson in the street the other day and he is really good-looking
-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), October 28th, 2004 6:21 PM.

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haha, let's keep posting that until it ends up as 'king of the munters'
-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...), October 28th, 2004 6:23 PM.

Alba (Alba), Thursday, 28 October 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Catherine Keener, Dylan Moran and Jarvis Cocker are all conventionally attractive
-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), October 28th, 2004 1:18 PM.

You must go to some weird conventions.
-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Hurting, your girlfriend is trying to EMASCULATE you. When you get home from work, DO her UP her POOPER.
-- BURNTPIKELET (wwaa...), October 27th, 2004 6:17 AM. (later)

OH MY!

Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 28 October 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Half of the women I date look just like me. Two of my last 3 girlfriends were basically my twin and we'd get asked all the time if we were brother and sister. When those two met, the ex pulled me aside and said "Spencer, you're a piece of work, she looks just like me!" I said "get over yourself, she looks just like *me*! I'm just being narcissistic!"

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), October 28th, 2004.

amateur!!st, Thursday, 28 October 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

She was droopy eyed perfection in Hellboy. Can't vouch for the rest of her ouevre, though (like I'm going to admit I watched & vaguely enjoyed Cruel Intentions on
an Internet board, sheesh).

-- David R. (quoteidio...), October 28th, 2004.

xpost - Hellboy has surely made her the pin-up girl of choice for emo superhero fans.

-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), October 28th, 2004.

All I've seen her in are Hellboy and that commercial where she takes a polygraph test. Is it for shampoo or something?

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), October 28th, 2004.

it's for polygraph tests

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), October 28th, 2004.

Huk-L, Thursday, 28 October 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

OH FOR CHRISSAKES SOMEBODY PUT A LARGE UNCIRCUMSIZED NIGERIAN LIBERAL HIPPY TERRORIST PENIS IN HER MOUTH BEFORE SHE SPEAKS AGAIN
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...) (webmail), October 28th, 2004 12:49 PM. (nickalicious) (later) (link)

Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 28 October 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

what thread is that from?

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 28 October 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Never mind, it had to be Ann Coulter.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 28 October 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

OH FOR CHRISSAKES SOMEBODY PUT A LARGE UNCIRCUMSIZED NIGERIAN LIBERAL HIPPY TERRORIST PENIS IN HER MOUTH BEFORE SHE SPEAKS AGAIN
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...) (webmail), October 28th, 2004 12:49 PM. (nickalicious) (later) (link)

-- Michael White (Sanmichel...), October 28th, 2004 2:50 PM. (Hereward) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what thread is that from?
-- jocelyn (nalra...), October 28th, 2004 2:50 PM. (Jocelyn) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never mind, it had to be Ann Coulter.
-- jocelyn (nalra...), October 28th, 2004 2:51 PM. (Jocelyn) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 28 October 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is making realize what a bunch of liars musicians are. Grand Funk Railroad promised many years ago to come to my town and help me party it down, but I'm still waiting.
-- Nemo (jdevereux...), October 28th, 2004 3:44 PM. (JND)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Father who art in heaven, hollowed be thy name, why did you have to take Futurama away from us you chode?
-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), October 28th, 2004 7:34 AM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

nicka's esp. funny today

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

unsexy: KY jelly
sexy: KY, jel, E
-- adam... (adamr...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

HARDEES NEW GOTHIC THICKBURGER
OUR TRADITION 1/3, 1/2, OR 2/3 POUND ANGUS THICKBURGER TOPPED WITH THE TORTURED SOULS OF REPRESSED FORGOTTEN LOVE

-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 28 October 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

It could also be a great way of allowing a random progammer to backdoor into your Gmail account.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), October 28th, 2004. (Dan Perry)
---------------------------------(later)---------------------------
Oh no! Hackers might find out when/where I will be playing ultimate frisbee!

-- Thermo Thinwall (tupac.chopr...) (webmail), October 28th, 2004. (Thermo Thinwall)

Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 28 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(from the deceiving children thread)

A conversation from one time with him:
Him: Look daddy, there's a McDonalds.
Me: *sarcastic woohoo*
Him: You don't like McDonalds, daddy?
Me: No son.
Him: Why not?
Me: Because their burgers are made of KITTENS.

I think my worst Bad Dad moments are when I expect my son to know I'm joking.

-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), October 28th, 2004.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 28 October 2004 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

(Whoa, Stevem was GREAT today)

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 28 October 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Father who art in heaven, hollowed be thy name, why did you have to take Futurama away from us you chode?

HAHAHAH NICKALISH I LUV YOO.

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 28 October 2004 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I know a load of goths with natural undyed hair.
They're called roleplayers.

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), October 29th, 2004 10:10 AM. (trayce)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OUCH
-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), October 29th, 2004 10:11 AM. (Dan Perry)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahah I was actually being serious! =)
-- Trayce (spamspanke...), October 29th, 2004 10:15 AM. (trayce)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DOUBLE OUCH
-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), October 29th, 2004 10:30 AM. (Dan Perry)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 28 October 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Get your hands off your dicks, gentlemen.
-- Michael Stuchbery (mikeybidnes...), October 29th, 2004 10:01 AM. (Mikey Bidness)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And put them on mine. Er, wait.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), October 29th, 2004 10:02 AM. (Ned)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How many dicks do you have, Ned????
WAIT DON'T ANSWER THAT ARRRGH

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), October 29th, 2004 10:03 AM. (Dan Perry)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My work here is done.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), October 29th, 2004 10:03 AM. (Ned)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 29 October 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

charlotte in the garden
carrie in the kitchen
samantha in the bedroom
miranda on the internet

-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...) (webmail), October 29th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you suggesting Carrie can cook?

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...) (webmail), October 29th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i panicked

-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...) (webmail), October 29th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 October 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd say the most embarassing one possible would be Cman. Could someone go on posting to ILX after that?


-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), October 29th, 2004.


you'd have to start posting as "embarassed elaine" or "STD-infected Simone" or something

-- ken c (pykachu10...), October 29th, 2004.

Kenan, Friday, 29 October 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

my sexiness is not a laughing matter.

jel -- (jel), Friday, 29 October 2004 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

In 5th grade, I told J03 R4h0 there was a bus that would come at night and pick him up and bring him to a secret sex club behind the VFW where he could hook up with a cyborg-avatar of any girl he wanted, if he stayed up and watched at his window until 3am. He did one night, the bus didn't come, and he didn't talk to me until last year.
-- Remy (jcoomb...), October 29th, 2004.

That story sound very familiar.
-- Thermo Thinwall (tupac.chopr...), October 29th, 2004.

Please tell me you're not J03.
-- Remy (jcoomb...), October 29th, 2004.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 29 October 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

totally thought this was gonna be a Nickalish thread.

SO DID I!

-- nickalicious

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 29 October 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Bring on January already so I can curl up before the fire with a cup of tea and a book and my cats and tell Jack Frost to go rectally insert it.
-- Michael White (Sanmichel...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 29 October 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Goddammit, I have to buy "Hysteria" now.

Why not buy yourself a candy-coloured, frilly blouse instead? They're kinda the same thing anyway.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...) (webmail), October 29th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 29 October 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Queen claimed they would rock me.
2) Queen did rock me.
3) Talking Heads never made any assertion about rocking me.
_______________________________________________________
4) Therefore, Queen is a greater band than Talking Heads
if one were to judge greatness in terms of the intention
and ability to rock.

-- The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (*flower*burn*hollywood*flowe...), October 28th, 2004 7:03 PM. (The Tao that can be Posted is)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 29 October 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah gee... keep yon chin up man.

jorel rulez!

i like to think life is like a story. without shitty and hectic parts, the story is boring as shit. nobody likes a story with nothing but triumph. fuckin lame. there's gotta be a little empire strikes back in everybody's life. i mean shit, that was the best one of the trilogy. none of that fuckin ewok shit. i wonder who the noize ewoks are? anyway... just raise your spaceship outta the swamp, skip the part where your dad cuts your arm off... that's another plus in your bag, you've got all your appendages... but yeah... maybe skip to rescuing leia ... er your sister? maybe she's not your sis, but still in a rockin metal bikini thingy... yeah... take a hobbit with you for good measure. but don't confuse the hobbits with the ewoks. no ewok beer = suck.

jorel rulez!
m.

-- msp

Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 29 October 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

from the fratty one night stand thread:

Of course I am to be nominated, no such surprise for me here. Yet for myself, I nominate Ally, for she embarass me on more than one occasion and create respect here. Also, she make crazy American jokes and cause me often to crack in spite of myself, hihi! And indeed she herself has said it, she has attraction to varg, so good taste in necrocultic black metal causes me to admire her somewhat!
-- Janne Karlsson (dominakto...), October 29th, 2004 11:46 PM. (later)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 29 October 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

dude she's married!

cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 29 October 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

which do you prefer -- the robot from the jetsons or cthulu? and would either dance to the music?

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), October 30th, 2004 11:35 PM.

motown modown (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 October 2004 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

this very long post

results not typical (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 October 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost
it would take no balls whatsoever. just the normal kind of reflexive oppositionalism which is popular post Gen X. how old are you there, riot? my guess early/mid 30's. statements like that just bleed of an 'ethan hawke' type detachment/ dissapation.

-- duke detach (dan...), October 29th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

???
-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), October 29th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wouldn't you believe it, it's just my luck. No recess. You're back in grad school again.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), October 29th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 30 October 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Barge into his room one morning and try to help him get dressed — "if you're going to treat me like goddamn domestic help, I thought you might want a butler too — now step into your fucking pants!" And if he does it, catch his dick in the zipper.

-- the apex of nadirs (crump...) (webmail), October 30th, 2004 2:02 PM. (Rock Hardy) (later) (link)

Remy (x Jeremy), Saturday, 30 October 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The Tragedie of Michael Jackson, King of Pop

amateur!!st, Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm never going down on a guy again.
-- Miss Misery (tex...), October 31st, 2004 7:08 PM.

Oh pleeze. Everybody poos. You should be happy that we wipe at all.
-- Kenan (flu...), October 31st, 2004 7:11 PM.

Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to look really awful, almost all of the time. I think I was too scared to do anything to change that becuase I had no confidence. Sometimes I still look really bad.
But now sometimes I look really fucking hot, too.

-- Ally C (allycook9...), October 31st, 2004 2:41 PM. (Ally C) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when I set you on fire
-- RJG (RJ...), October 31st, 2004 2:46 PM. (RJG) (later)

ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 31 October 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Because it's really pretty boring. If I want "disciplined" songcraft I'll listen to Beethoven or some shit. Fuck boring NY hipster-yuppie
bullshit.

-- sinclair (artomati...), October 29th, 2004 4:27 PM.


Yeah! FUCK IT!!

-- Turd Sandwich (giantdouch...), October 29th, 2004 7:25 PM.

results not typical (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 31 October 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.globalhermit.com/ilx/markelby.jpg

by crudders

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 31 October 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

christ, pete and carl are looking bad lately

Bumfluff, Sunday, 31 October 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

is that geir hongro with geir hongro?

cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 31 October 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

bare horngro

ken c (ken c), Sunday, 31 October 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Now this thread has me thinking I should retrain myself.
no, wait... it doesn't. I don't get any more poo in any more places than any other boy, I'm sure. I don't get poo on my nuts anymore than you front-to-back people get it on your lower back.

-- Kenan (fluxion2...), October 31st, 2004 7:49 AM. (kenan) (later)

M1chael Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ann0yman (Ferg), Monday, 1 November 2004 01:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Portion surreptitiously falls away from paper

This is some magic bullet shit.

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), November 1st, 2004 7:23 PM.

milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 1 November 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I *really* darent read the wipe thread now, I think. Ewgh.

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 1 November 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Why a sailor for Halloween mark?
Were you going as the satanist sailor??

-- jel -- (freeduni...), October 31st, 2004 3:24 PM. (jel) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was going to be Sailor Moon but forgot to shave his legs.
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), October 31st, 2004 3:26 PM. (roxymuzak) (later) (link)

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 1 November 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

BACK OF THE NET

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 1 November 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Yesterday morning I woke up with a big bag of Kit Kats and a fork. I don't really know how this came to be.
-- Laura E (Laura.Hud$0...), November 1st, 2004.

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

What the hell: Taking sides: kissing with tongues before sex or vice versa

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder how well a biscuit that had a "generic" vagina taste would actually sell..
-- electric sound of jim (electricsoun...), April 7th, 2002 8:00 PM.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

EDITED:

I hope Tuomas sends you all the goatse pic.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), November 1st, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Only because that would be funny.)

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), November 1st, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Goatse pic"?

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...) (webmail), November 1st, 2004. (later) (link)

[...]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a picture of a man showing off his remarkably-dilated anal sphincter, to the point where you can see the cilia in his rectum. Also he is apparently wearing a wedding ring but I've never looked at the pic long enough to go beyond the "OH NO OH NO SCREAMING HORROR!" stage.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), November 1st, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, that's not the picture I sent.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...) (webmail), November 1st, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

you just beat me to that.

mark p (Mark P), Monday, 1 November 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX is all about goatse today

It is taking the largest amount of willpower I have ever mustered up in my entire existence on this Earth not to post the goatse.x picture here.
One could certainly chuck a nice-sized bag into that void.

-- j.lu (jlut...), November 1st, 2004.


OMG EPIFANNY
I AM GOING TO PRINT OUT THE GOATSE.X PICTURE AND PASTE IT OVER MY CORNHOLE HOLE!

-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), November 1st, 2004.

Please tell me your spelling was deliberate.
-- j.lu (jlut...), November 1st, 2004.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 1 November 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't do anything for Halloween...

-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 1st, 2004 3:18 PM. (Nowell) (later)
____________________________________________________________
Except pose on the internet as a teenaged girl from Hawaii.

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...), November 1st, 2004 3:39 PM. (Pleasant Plains) (later)

From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM

Laura E (laurae55), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

er, that intangible space between euphoria and despair where the two mingle amongst each other and occasionally butt heads, that is.
-- MindInRewind (brune...), November 1st, 2004 11:06 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

occasionally buttheads is right
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), November 1st, 2004 11:34 PM. (later)

ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Its raining today too.. HAHA! Rain on the stupid hats and posh fuckers, you lovely clouds.
-- Trayce (spa...), November 2nd, 2004 3:32 PM.

Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

MOTD vs premiership:

It's true, interactive TV is overhyped. When they say Push The Red Button, I find that the TV just switches off.
-- the bluefox (pinefo...), November 1st, 2004. (later)

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone actually started doing any of their new-found GTA habits (pimpin', whackin' etc.) in real life yet?

I sprained my ankle a couple days ago and tried to heal it by eating fried chicken

-- MC Transmaniacon (natepatri...), November 2nd, 2004 3:05 AM. (later)

ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone care to guess the Senate spread?

-- Girolamo Savonarola (gsa...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bet it includes sauerkraut.

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

guys i'm nervous.

i had a weird anxiety dream about the election involving a fat naked lady

-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 2nd, 2004 11:38 AM. (slutsky)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i did!

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude wtf. "I wanna run through your wicked garden" was such a daring and controversial political statement.

-- From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (aaronh...), November 2nd, 2004 1:12 AM. (AaronHz) (later)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 2 November 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

1. I 'm tangible
2. I'm visible

-- Remy (jcoomb...), November 2nd, 2004 10:12 AM.

For some reason that sounds like something Atmosphere would say.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 2nd, 2004 10:12 AM.

"I'm tangible, I'm visible, I'm not a dirigible"

-- MC Skat Kat (b4rim4_...), November 2nd, 2004 10:15 AM.

results not typical (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

THE OFFICIAL ERECTION DAY THREAD

hahahahahahaha

Kenan (kenan), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I roffled at RJG's sauerkraut line, too.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

[...] ashlee's nose is number 1 in my "2004 top 5 cutely-flawed celebrity features".

-- peter smith (reesewitherspoo...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really want to know your other 4, peter!

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. Meredith Viera's butt-mole
3. Jude Law's slight scrotal abnormality
4. Jenna Elfman's face / personality
5. Rose McGowan's penis

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.royhooper.com/charo_photo_flag2.gif

Charo is very proud of all you voters.

-- Charo ƒury (jeanneƒur...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[...]

Chora is also very proud of her tiny little camel toe.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chora is the name of Dan's 6 year old niece for those wondering

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

OK I know Dan already posted part of this.

Anyone care to guess the Senate spread?

-- Girolamo Savonarola (gsa...), November 2nd, 2004 9:58 PM. (later) (link)

I bet it includes sauerkraut.

-- RJG (RJ...), November 2nd, 2004 9:59 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

I just want to note that right now is the closest we've ever come to having a Portuguese-African gazillionaire as first lady. If she loses, how long will it be before we get the next one?

-- gypsy mothra (meetm...), November 2nd, 2004 10:07 PM. (gypsy mothra) (later) (link)

not long enough

-- Roger Fidelity (blindjimdeat...), November 2nd, 2004 10:09 PM. (Roger Fidelity) (later) (link)

I bet you include sauerkraut.

-- RJG (RJ...), November 2nd, 2004 10:11 PM. (RJG) (later) (link

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG rocks.

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I find ILX to be horribly sexist. Discuss

.
-- Chantel, November 2nd, 2004 1:23 AM.

Answers

I don't.
-- C J, November 2nd, 2004 1:25 AM.

Spinal Tap to thread?
-- JimD, November 2nd, 2004 1:25 AM.

Shut up, bitch.
-- dog latin, November 2nd, 2004 1:25 AM.

Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about it
-- Dadaismus, November 2nd, 2004 1:26 AM.

Sorry about that.
-- The Ghost of Dan Perry, Oppressor of Women, November 2nd, 2004 1:26 AM.

Jesus, shove a cock down your throat and be done with it.
-- Andrew, November 2nd, 2004 1:27 AM.

Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

OH GOD do not do English, one woman I used to work with was like the secret laughing stock of the entire company because she was an English major, also because she was dumb as a post but really I don't think her major helped her any.


-- Allyzay Science Explosion (allyza...), November 2nd, 2004 3:39 PM.

dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw a loving couple walking hand in hand over a bridge, so i beat them both to death with my bare hands. this game rocks.

-- Ste (ste.foste...), November 2nd, 2004 5:51 AM. (Fuzzy)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, you've got the whole month.

-- Core of Sphagnum (ada...), November 2nd, 2004 7:26 AM. (Autumn Almanac)

It's not called NaNoWriSixDays.

-- Core of Sphagnum (ada...), November 2nd, 2004 7:26 AM. (Autumn Almanac)

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

OH GOD do not do English, one woman I used to work with was like the secret laughing stock of the entire company because she was an English major, also because she was
dumb as a post but really I don't think her major helped her any

This is just stupid. I was an English major and now I have a really fulfilling writing job, and I didn't become some useless grad-school academic. An English major (whether a
concentration in literature, rhetoric, creative writing, etc.) is great because it opens your mind to different philosophies of looking at the world, spurs your creative juices, and helps
you learn how to learn, which are all relevant skills for any field. Any major can be a "blowoff" major if you act that way. It's what you make of it. And as for future job prospects,
I know more engineering majors, business majors, and other people who went for a more specialized major who are unemployed or underemployed or employed and miserable
than the English majors I know, who have gone on to really diverse fields and careers. Employers like people who are well rounded and know how to think, and can apply
themselves to different situations. And if you are that kind of person, you're way more adaptable, career-wise.

-- brianminter (brianm88888...), November 2nd, 2004. (later)

You started a sentence with a conjunction

-- TOMBOT (as...), November 2nd, 2004. (later)

Do you have that job where you work from home?

-- TOMBOT (englis...), November 2nd, 2004. (later)

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Beat Happening makes me want to assault invalids.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 3rd, 2004.

bulbs (bulbs), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

The B-E-P are coming out for Kerry in Boston. Oh bugger.

-- William Bloody Swygart (thingummy9...), November 3rd, 2004. (mrswygart) (later)

Arkansas calls for Bush. The Black Eyed Peas start playing. I can't cope with this. I'm going to bed.

-- Alba (albab...), November 3rd, 2004. (Alba) (later)

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"Florida - where if you're not careful the sun will tan you a deep 'ineligible to vote' brown"
-- milozauckerman, November 3rd, 2004 2:40 PM.

Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been listening to Comets on Fire - Blue Cathedral...something about heavy psych acidy type rock reminds me of videos of big 60s riots and street protests...viva revolution!

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004 3:22 PM. (Matt Helgeson) (later) (link)

yeah, Comets on Fire really recreates the prototypical 60s protest experience of being smashed in the head, repeatedly.

-- Shakey Mo Collier (audiobo...) (webmail), November 2nd, 2004 3:23 PM. (later) (link)

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm ready for the challange, oops. Lots of big talk around here tonight. I'm calling bullshit.

-- Roger Fidelity (blindjimdeat...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004 12:42 AM. (Roger Fidelity) (later) (link)

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

For me, wisdom is a much better trait than intelligence, and there is many significant differences between wisdom and intelligence. One of the main ones being humility, which many very intelligent people lack.

Ugh, this is such a meaningless platitude. "Seven Habits of Highly Annoying People"

-- milozauckerman, November 3rd, 2004 5:54 PM.

-----------------

OTM

Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 06:56 (twenty-one years ago)

if only to beat someone else to the punch:

It's Nov. 3rd now, and we have no president: the second official election day thread
I Love Everything | New Answers | Unanswered Questions | Ask A Question ilXor.com | >ILM
shmuel | Settings | Logout

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I heart America.
-- Shmool McShmool (shmuel...), November 3rd, 2004 11:43 PM. (shmuel) (later)

Answers
how frequently do you prematurely ejaculate?
-- Remy (jcoomb...), November 3rd, 2004 11:45 PM. (x Jeremy) (later)

Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 08:12 (twenty-one years ago)

As much for Roger's "I caught me these here fish" triteness as Jody's kickass retort:

I love this myth of New York as "educated.' This is probably not the best time, but briefly: I grew up in Manhattan, and recently relocated to the South, where the people are supposed to be backward and dumb.
Well, no one here has quoted Chaucer to me, but I've met 14 year olds who can take apart an engine and rebuild it in the time it takes 'educated New Yorkers" to cut a Mumia stencil. The people I've met here have real life skills, the kind that 'educated' people like you need when your car battery dies in the middle of the night. When was the last time somebody called you specifically at 4am with an emergency that only you could fix?
I say go.
adn I'll NEVER move back to NYC. That's my promise to you, buddy. Siberia first.
-- Roger Fidelity (blindjimdeat...), November 3rd, 2004.

(....)

i agree... republicans are good at fixing things. like elections!
-- results not typical (theundergroundhom...), November 3rd, 2004.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 08:46 (twenty-one years ago)

We all crave the nothingness but haven't the will to bring it about ourselves!
So instead we just vote for someone who will do it for us. It's like a suicide proxy.
-- obviously (obvious1...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004 4:09 AM. (later) (link)

Laura E (laurae55), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 10:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Does anyone here remember laughter?
-- Pleasant Plains

Yeah, it was kinda funny.
-- Ian John50n

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)


I am going into my cave, I'm going to go into my cave and mind my power animal, I- GWEN STEFANEE HAS EATEN MY POWER KOALA!

-- B.A.R.M.S. (b4rim4_...), November 3rd, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I've resigned to lose the battle that is the name of this thread (Good ol' confused Arkansas who voted for George Wallace in 1968), but I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP THE WAR.

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay. I've given up the war now.

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Tee hee (shoots self).

n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG NICK ARE YOU ALL RIGHT

P.S. YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S STORIES ABOUT HER CONSERVATIVE RELATIVES MAKE ME CRY.

amateur!!st, Wednesday, 3 November 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

And you posted that because...?

Drunk. Also tolerance has kind of fizzled out to the point where anyone who doesn't agree with me seems evil which seems kind of sinister while listening to that stupid Rough Trade indie pop compilation. Election fallout. Perhaps another thread.

-- adam (hexenductio...), November 3rd, 2004 3:00 PM. (adam)

A Nairn (moretap), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Yoga Man Roll Call

mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

it's amusing how American foreign and domestic policy can still be partially determined by the misunderstood teachings of a spectral bearded entity who may or may not have existed

-- Riot Gear! (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004 3:30 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)

JONATHAN FRAKES EXISTS!! WE UNDERSTAND HIM PERFECTLY!!

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004 3:30 PM. (nabisco) (later) (link)

LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Social Unrest and some more great music from the USA

adam... (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm just going to repeat this:

it's amusing how American foreign and domestic policy can still be partially determined by the misunderstood teachings of a spectral bearded entity who may or may not have existed

-- Riot Gear! (drink_to_remembe...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004 3:30 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)

JONATHAN FRAKES EXISTS!! WE UNDERSTAND HIM PERFECTLY!!

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004 3:30 PM. (nabisco) (later) (link)

cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 3 November 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

From: Ten Very Fundamental Ways You Are Different From Your Boyfriend / Girlfriend / Lover / Spouse

BOYS HAVE A PENIS
GIRLS HAVE A VAGINA

-- LE CHUCK!? (Le-Chuc...), November 2nd, 2004 11:41 AM. (later)

I always think of that line whenever I'm stuck in some boring-ass meeting at work thinking of the most inappropriate thing I could blurt out.

bnw (bnw), Thursday, 4 November 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the fact you think about such things at meetings.

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 4 November 2004 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Sami, if you ever meet a woman, you should really try making love to black metal, it's unbelievable.
-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), November 4th, 2004.
also, cleaning house, watering plant (well in my case feed flies and blood to death plant), and hunting for food just to beginn to start with. black metal is not just music it is lifestyle!

black metal also get bloodstains off weapons, it is quite ingenious the ways it can be applied. i tend to leave blood of enemies on though. power is gained through their slaughter.

-- Vas Djifrens

the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 4 November 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it's been statistically proven that anyone can get away with any old crap now.
-- the surface noise (slight return), November 4th, 2004 2:59 PM.

Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)


WHO TO VOTE FOR IN 2008

John McCain - Republican - White, Senator, Vietnam veteran. Three time winner of the prestigious Skull Island Manhunt Pro, where he finally murdered the organizer of the bloodsport, eccentric tech-millionaire Augustus Heyde with a crude crossbow fashioned from a walking stick, piano wire and a hatpin. Lives upon and advocates a diet of bloody flesh and stones. Has the ability to transform into a shrieking eagle, able to throw arrows at his enemies from his mighty talons. Once punched a baby for refusing to be kissed by him. Spent twelve years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, finally escaping with the aid of a biplane fashioned from bamboo. Is running on a platform of domestic issues and the right for all americans to hunt the most dangerous game of all - man.

Barack Obama - Democrat - Black/Hawaiian, Senator. Lawyer. His goodness illuminates the world. Wherever he walks flowers sprout from the ground and baby deer are born, shakily taking their first steps. Is spiritual and musical godfather to George Clinton and James Brown. Has hot brown sugar for blood. Has sired many, many children, each spreading his gospel of love, hope and faith to the masses through song and dance as they wander from town to village to city. Is regularly visited by the spectre of JFK, who allows Obama to feed upon his ethereal energies. Whereever he is, it is always morning. Makes the bitches grab their titties, for they now love hip-hop.

-- Michael Stuchbery

(that was all great, but the mental image I got of McCain punching that baby is still making me giggle)

oops (Oops), Thursday, 4 November 2004 07:22 (twenty-one years ago)

That surface noise one is great.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

from the russian talking dog thread:

I want it to say "I am not an animal! I am human!"
-- Kevin Gilchrist (KevinGil14...), November 4th, 2004 11:25 AM. (Mr Fusion)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want it to say "time travel is possible!"
-- trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhe...), November 4th, 2004 11:27 AM. (trigonalmayhem)


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IT WON'T SAY ANY OF THOSE THINGS IT SPEAKS RUSSIAN!
-- Matt DC (runmd...), November 4th, 2004 11:28 AM. (Matt DC)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(sorry alex but this was mindblowingly awesome)

Just as a final word, when I directed my comment -- EAT HOT DEATH, MOTHERFUCKER -- it was directed solely at "Logged Off" for telling me what my duty as an American is. I'd also like to assert that I do not speak for ILX as whole. I only speak for myself. And I do not take it back.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...) (webmail), November 3rd, 2004 2:47 PM. (vassifer) (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd say even a gay cat is worth more than any of you losers, say, i'd rather have sex with a gay cat than you. I'd even lick my own arse for the chance to taste a bit of that warm pussy.
-- c-man (cma...), November 4th, 2004.

Masked Gazza, Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

There are gay swans somewhere... I think I read it in the Guardian. When I'm this vague, I feel guilty about posting. Oh well.

-- beanz (beanzil...) (webmail), November 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

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Yeah, there is a swan threesome in America somewhere. It was on TV.

-- Cathy (cathyleec...) (webmail), November 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is that what that show is about?

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...) (webmail), November 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Reasons I am dumb this week-

1) I still can't post to ILX without making typos.
2) Just 15 minutes ago, I discovered that I have been wearing the wrong contact lens in each eye, maybe all year.
3) Despite the fact that SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS is clearly a sponge in square pants, I only just realized this the other day. I thought he was a piece of cheese.

Why/how are you dumb?

-- adam... (adamr...) (webmail), November 4th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 November 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

what does this thread have anything to do with me? dick
-- LE CHUCK!™ (Le-Chuc...), November 3rd, 2004 10:36 AM. (ex machina) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm not trying to hear that, see
-- amateur!!st (-...), November 4th, 2004 10:57 PM. (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 4 November 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

BANGIN ON THE BONGOES LIKE A CHIMPANZEE

http://www.comune.modena.it/glamazonia/articoli/flash/flagrodd.jpg

THAT AIN'T WORKIN THAT'S THE WAY YOU DO IT

http://www.lethargiclad.com/gorilla/flash127a.gif

GET YOUR MONEY FOR NOTHIN GET YOUR CHICKS FOR FREE

http://www.splashcomics.de/images/portraits/charaktere/whoiswho_gorilla_grodd2.gif

-- Tep (icaneatglas...), November 4th, 2004 11:22 AM. (ktepi) (later)

Ahem, MONKEY for nothin', perhaps?

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 4th, 2004 11:33 AM. (later)

And your CHIMPS FOR FREE!

-- Tep (icaneatglas...), November 4th, 2004 11:39 AM. (ktepi) (later)

I WANT MY
I WANT MY
I WANT MY CHIMPANZEE

-- David R. (quoteidio...), November 4th, 2004 11:40 AM. (popshots75`) (later)

See the little monkey with the earring and the brain guy

http://monkeysvsrobots.com/features/doompatrol/characters/brainandmallah.jpg

Yeah buddy, that's his own hair

-- Tep (icaneatglas...), November 4th, 2004 11:46 AM. (ktepi) (later)

cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm Grape Ape, and I approve this ROFFLE:

http://www.grapeape.org/images/GrapeApe.jpg

David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

monkeys are up there with 'people falling down' in the always funny pantheon

cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i feel the same way about chimps riding dogs

mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.citypages.com/blogmedia/bzellar/dogandmonkey.jpg

Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

non-photoshopped, sorry

mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images/m-p/monkeydog.jpg

mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.joetourist.ca/costarica/graphics/cr-dog.jpg

etc etc (Mark P), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.skfriends.com/monkey-hugging-dog-photo.jpg

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

hee!

s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

timeless.

mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw that middle photo and all I could think about was how dirty the carpet was. I am such a mom.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

This Jay-Z movie
The first post on this thread is classic.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 4 November 2004 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

waddel it take to convince you that "logged out" isn't a real person?

-- Brad Morgan (bra...) (webmail), November 4th, 2004 7:52 AM. (later) (link)

Spinning Down Alone You Spin Alive (ex machina), Thursday, 4 November 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course as you know Drusilla usually prefer the Lacuna Coil and so forth when making hate, though sometimes she get drunk and on this occasion ask that I put on Bestial Warlust while she light black candle. What we then do is not for me to say, but I can tell you it is not to drink tea and have cucumber fucking sandwich.

-- Janne Karlsson (dominakto...), November 4th, 2004.

bulbs (bulbs), Thursday, 4 November 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha! "making hate". I love it.

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 4 November 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

from this thread: Things that are in the "always funny pantheon"

'dude, why has men getting smacked in the crotch not graced this thread yet? '

Because it's only funny when it happens to someone else, and each time it does happen to someone else, that means your turn draws nearer.


-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 4th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 4 November 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

here comes your nineteenth district breakdown!
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), November 5th, 2004.

Bumfluff, Friday, 5 November 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a wedgie you would not believe

I Love Everything | New Answers | Unanswered Questions | Ask A Question ilXor.com | >ILM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seriously. I can't fix it either, because I'm stuck at my desk and there are people around me.
I feel like I'm being sawed in half.

-- luna (lunace...), November 5th, 2004 12:25 PM. (luna.c)


Fuck you thong!
-- luna (lunace...), November 5th, 2004 12:26 PM. (luna.c)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 5 November 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Conor Oberst is an easy target.

Let's hope he stays that way, the little bitch.

-- adam... (adamr...) (webmail), November 4th, 2004 5:34 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Friday, 5 November 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

This gstring thread gets even better:

'OMG LOOK OVER THERE!! A GORILLA!!' *squidge squidge* 'Oh never mind, it's gone now.'
-- Adamdrome Crankypants (ada...), November 5th, 2004 2:15 PM. (Autumn Almanac)


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"Now it's in my pants!" ::tug, pull, rearrange:: "Got him!"
-- the apex of nadirs (crump...), November 5th, 2004 2:16 PM. (Rock Hardy)


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Right, right, I just thought it was funny that after you assert #1, you're careful to specify enormity in #2.
Yeah, because the height of the mountains [or plains] doesn't affect the shape of the road, just as the enormity [or otherwise] of arse cheeks doesn't affect that long bony bit where the poo hole goes.


-- Adamdrome Crankypants (ada...), November 5th, 2004 2:17 PM. (Autumn Almanac)


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This analogy has gotten way out of hand.
-- Andrew (n...), November 5th, 2004 2:18 PM. (enneff)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in a well?"
-- the apex of nadirs (crump...), November 5th, 2004 2:18 PM. (Rock Hardy)

(I actually laughed very loudly at this)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 5 November 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Success! And now to bed.

the apex of nadirs (Rock Hardy), Friday, 5 November 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

3) Despite the fact that SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS is clearly a sponge in square pants, I only just realized this the other day. I thought he was a piece of cheese.

= total revelation

amateur!!st, Friday, 5 November 2004 06:34 (twenty-one years ago)

At what sad point during watching your big dicked dogs fucking did the thought, "Where's my camera?" cross your mind?
-- Forksclovetofu, November 5th, 2004 6:08 PM.

Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 5 November 2004 07:14 (twenty-one years ago)

He shoots, he scores!

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 5 November 2004 07:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I wrong to not think it's that big a deal that the dog can pronounce "r" sounds? I mean, you know, ruh roh Raggy and whatnot.
-- nickalicious, November 4th, 2004 3:16 AM.

Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 5 November 2004 08:43 (twenty-one years ago)

ri ruv roo!!

the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 5 November 2004 08:44 (twenty-one years ago)

lots of funnies here:

Mort Garson

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Friday, 5 November 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha, the spongebob thing had never occured to me either!

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 5 November 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Q : Karl Rove, what's your strategy for the forthcoming election?

KR : Bun Chi Chi Man

Q : Pardon?

KR : Fie pon dem batty boy

...

You just know what's gonna be on Bush's iPod now ... :-(


-- phil jones (intersta...), November 5th, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Friday, 5 November 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

LOL New Answers page:

Talented ILX'r Wanted.. (Unanswered)

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 5 November 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

You movin' so slow like just don't have a clue
Didn't Mama teach you to give affection
Know the difference from a man and an adolescent
-- ow grammar (djperr...), September 10th, 2004.

(And that difference is...)
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 10th, 2004.

10 to 20 up north
-- jess (wt...), September 10th, 2004.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 5 November 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I too thought Spongebob was a piece of cheese for a few months.

oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1991, I FEEL SMART!

I AM SO SMART I AM SO SMART
S! M! R! T!
I mean...

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

and now I have an image of Luna in the 1800s, snake oil salesmen-stylee, in front of a throng of townspeople, unveiling the the wedgie which defies belief.

oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

a thong of townspeople

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

THAT would be some wedgie alright.

oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

At least they'd be having a bit of craic

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

You can't have your craic and eat it too.

oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"We gonna gets ourselves some ASS TONIGHT!"

"Just be gentle with that pitchfork, dear."

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG GIGGLETITS:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/rob_brennan/ilx/yoda.jpg

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

yodam

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

DAMMIT I MISSED THE IMAGE

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

May have been excelsiored before but I'm laughing my ass off every time I look closely at this Velveteen Bingo masterpiece:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v468/cmvenuti/exc.jpg

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?????

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan have you ever heard of the Collective Unconscious?

Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I kiss all of you

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Being Ned Raggett

Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

# Reasons Why People Voted Bush (114 new answers)
# That's a Nice Hat (11 new answers)
-- Sean Carruthers (oneiro...), November 5th, 2004.

Soon Over Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha

oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

From the 'signs you are lonely and eccentric' thread:

You spent the entire weekend cutting up old comic books to make new comic books.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 1st, 2004 9:40 PM.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my god that IS a masterpiece!!!

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

116. nyc ilxchixors
what about the nyc cocksuxors? i feel left out

-- phil-two (philtw...), November 5th, 2004. (later)

sgs (sgs), Friday, 5 November 2004 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, that's my "weekend project" it's not funny at all!

Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Huk, you really do need to get out of there!

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

No one understands me.

Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it sounds cooler than shit dude! Something like that, I'd almost be willing to drive all the way up to Regina, just so I can help.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm like the Wm. S. Burrough-meets-Terminator X of the comic nerds!

Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know what that means.

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

No one understands me.

Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

What?

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

"Why would I listen to losers?" the governor asked. "Let's be honest."
Meanwhile, Mrs. Shwartzenegger has proclaimed that she will withhold the Skeletor poontang INDEFINITELY.

WHO'S THE LOSER NOW CONAN!?!

-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...), November 5th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Triclops needs to hit that shit.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, I was just going to post that Skeletor shit.

Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, there's nothing more embarrassing or painful than a partial castration.

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 5th, 2004. (later)

Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The good news is that his appointment for budget director, Tom Campbell, is an old time moderate Republican.

-- Michael White (Sanmichel...), November 5th, 2004 12:54 PM. (Hereward) (link)

Does he legislate to an out-of-tune player-piano?

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), November 5th, 2004 12:54 PM. (Dan Perry) (link)

jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Now, that is actually properly funny.

adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes!

the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a couple friends who kept themselves laughing hysterically for at least a year, writing an epic biography of Albert Einstein with two rules:
1. It had to be the longest book EVER WRITTEN
2. NO RESEARCH ALLOWED

I never read any of it, but I'm pretty sure they never got past the "Baby Einstein" chapter(s). They got pretty good at drawing cartoons of crawfish.


-- Ian Christe

the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

what thread is that from???? amazing!!

Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Ask your doctor if ILX is right for you.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...) (webmail), November 5th, 2004. (jaymc)

Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Although I am an (arguably) heterosexual male, I kind of want to fuck homophobes in the ass until they cry

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

how can they spend a million on a rocket head
when theres millions on earth in need of bread
its hard to believe it!

but, you know, i think, i do

-- ... (*@*.*), November 5th, 2004.

adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

what thread is that from???? amazing!!
-- Ian John50n (dr.carl.saga...) (webmail), November 5th, 2004. (orion)

Grime article in Vice

the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Being Ned Raggett

But of course.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

(Okay, my previous post to this thread was premature.)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

That, sir, is a grand understatement.

David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 5 November 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

This says so much, really:

----

actually Norm, while you would think that (and it mite give you a reasonable reason to think it - excusze my grammeer by the way, I'm pissed - nbeen out and sorry u ILXors never joined me) A wquick search shows that u are all obsessed, especially fat no mate Ned and the bunch who talk about even in threads i have nothing to do with,

-- Confused Col (confuse...), November 6th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm ready for the challange, oops. Lots of big talk around here tonight. I'm calling bullshit.

-- Roger Fidelity (blindjimdeat...), November 3rd, 2004 12:42 AM. (Roger Fidelity) (later)


you are calling bullshit on someone building a spaceship?

-- Carey (flembac...), November 3rd, 2004 12:44 AM. (Carey) (later)

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

haha yeah!

cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

how can they spend a million on a rocket head
when theres millions on earth in need of bread
its hard to believe it!

but, you know, i think, i do

-- ... (...), November 5th, 2004.


-- adam... (adamr...), November 5th, 2004.

random joe meek reference...

amateur!!st, Saturday, 6 November 2004 07:15 (twenty-one years ago)

them some blowjob-givin pants.
-- Kenan, November 6th, 2004 6:24 PM.

Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 6 November 2004 07:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Without any context, that makes even me laugh.

Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 6 November 2004 07:30 (twenty-one years ago)

(From the Mod board)

John, I can't do anything, but you need to put this on the Moderator Request Board, which you can find if you go up to the main ILX screen.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...) (webmail), November 6th, 2004. (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that's where we are
-- Spinning Down Alone You Spin Alive (jonathan.william...) (webmail), November 6th, 2004. (link)

mark grout (mark grout), Saturday, 6 November 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 6 November 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell us more about Nick, Sarah!

-- adam... (adamr...) (webmail), November 5th, 2004 4:09 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link)

Where *is* Nick today, anyway? Don't tell me he's working.

-- Kenan (fluxion2...) (webmail), November 5th, 2004 4:09 PM. (kenan) (later) (link)

He snores doesn't he? I can tell from his posts.

-- adam...

oops (Oops), Saturday, 6 November 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

KF: Hello, is this Ashlee Simpson?

AS: Yeah. Who's this?

KF: This is the Knitting Factory.

AS: For real? Are you a bunch of old ladies who sit in a circle and make scarves and caps for the winter?

KF: No. We're about art, not commerce. Anyway, we'd like to let you know that you can come down here to our place and exchange a copy of your CD for Mr. Bungle.

AS: Mr. Who?

KF: Mr. Bungle.

AS: Did you just say "bunghole"?

KF: Bungle!

AS: Oh, did they do "Bunghole in the Junghole"?

KF: No, that was Jethro Tull.

AS: Actually I think that was Uriah Heep.

KF: We're certain it was Jethro Tull who did "Bunghole" --

AS: Ha ha! You just said "bunghole"!

KF: Look, whatever. We'd just like to let you know that we think you're pedestrian.

AS: Oh my god I'm walking right now!

KF: You don't understand...

AS: What?

KF: Nevermind! *hangs up*

-- Andy K (kellma...), November 7th, 2004 8:22 PM. (Andy K) (later)

cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 7 November 2004 01:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Definitely a winner.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 7 November 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

and more:

Ashlee calls back later that day...

KF: Knitting Factory.

AS: Hello. I have this crappy Ashlee Simpson CD and I heard y'all are having some deal where I can bring it in and get something that is closer to resembling art.

KF: Yes, that is true.

AS: Excellent. This Ashlee Simpson CD is horrible!

KF: Indeed.

AS: Have you heard it? I mean it's really bad.

KF: Well, no, but it's pretty apparent...

AS: Yeah, what's up with her Milli Vanilli acid reflux bullshit? So, anyway, do you happen to have Very 'eavy Very 'umble by Urethra Heep?

KF: What? I think you mean Uriah Heep.

AS: No, Urethra Heep.

KF: It's Uriah Heep.

AS: Whatever. Do you have it?

KF: No.

AS: What do you have then?

KF: The Ramones, Ray Charles, Abe Lincoln --

AS: No shit, Abraham Lincoln made records?

KF: Not that Abe Lincoln.

AS: Oh, okay, so what else?

KF: Aretha Franklin --

AS: Urethra who?

KF: Very funny. Aretha Franklin.

AS: Haha, just joking! No, seriously, anyone else?

KF: X, Mr. Bungle --

AS: Mr. Bunghole? I bet that sounds like ass.

KF: Mr. Bungle.

AS: Hahahaha!

KF: *slams phone*

-- Andy K (kellma...)

cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 7 November 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

And from the archives...

--

Gigli Focus Groups Demand New Ending In Which Both Affleck and Lopez Die

-- Ally (mlescau...), July 30th, 2003.


Getting shot is fine, but what about an automobile fire in which Ben and Jennifer are shown perishing in a slow-motion montage, their newfound love discarded as they try desperately to claw their way past each other's melting bodies, while slowly roasting to death in their own fat? You'd be surprised at how many people came up with that one.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 30th, 2003.


I think no matter how they die, they should come back as flesh-eating zombies. I mean, that's an obvious direction for the plot, right?

-- Sarah Mclusky (x77tigersxu...), July 30th, 2003.


NOOOO.

They must not come back. Ever.

The thought of them becoming the unstoppable undead chills my heart like nothing else.

-- Larcole (nicolew1...), July 30th, 2003.


I thought Ben Affleck already was undead? That would explain his lack of personality.

-- Ally (mlescau...), July 30th, 2003.


This is true. If only Van Helsing were alive today, he might be able to stop him. Alas, it is too late for this world.

-- Larcole (nicolew1...), July 30th, 2003.


Milla Jovovitch might be able to do something?

-- Ally (mlescau...), July 30th, 2003.


She didn't stop him in Dazed and Confused!

-- Larcole (nicolew1...), July 30th, 2003.


That was before the zombie killing thing though.

-- Ally (mlescau...), July 30th, 2003.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 7 November 2004 06:40 (twenty-one years ago)

(I should note my contribution is in fact a quote from the Onion article Ally linked to to start with)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 7 November 2004 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

'Is this the same Knitting Factory that fills the neighborhood around Leonard Street with tiny little punk rockers every weekend?'
i would drive down to nyc tomorrow if there was a street with tons of eight-inch tall punk rockers running around. it would take two of them just to carry a can of beer.

-- m0stly clean (mostl...), November 7th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just like those tiny dudes from Willow!
"beer!"

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), November 7th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Just like those tiny dudes from Willow!'
That was unnecessary.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 7th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 7 November 2004 06:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the transition between "Power of Love" and "Love Power" on "Power of Love/Love Power."

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), November 7th, 2004.


it makes you ponder the difference between the power of love and love power and how they might be related.

-- bulbs (michaelparkinso...), November 7th, 2004.

amateur!!st, Sunday, 7 November 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

The programme was tedious. It was Ronson on auto-pilot: easy laughs from indulging deluded nutcases. I turned over to watch Top Gear after 20 minutes.
-- David Merryweather (i...), November 7th, 2004 9:48 PM. (later)

ken c (ken c), Monday, 8 November 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 8 November 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

it would've been funnier if he'd turned over to watch Britain's Worst Wife on C5...

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 8 November 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I love Beck's and Outkast's reinterpretations but a few songs aside, I still really don't like Prince. I caught some of Purple Rain on TV a little while back. It was weird: while I was really impressed by his skills I also felt this visceral revulsion I can't even explain.
-- sundar subramanian (sundar_subramanian200...), February 28th, 2004.

Do you hate fun? cravats?
-- Anthony Miccio (anthonymicci...), February 28th, 2004.

puffy shirts?
-- @d@ml (nordi
EF="webmail.php?msgid=4116012">nordicskill...), February 29th, 2004.
jism?
-- @d@ml (nordi
ailto:@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.co">@ml (nordicskilla@hotmail.com), February 29th, 2004.

lake winnetonka?
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), February 29th, 2004.


Also funny b/c Blount simultaneously gets the name wrong and improves on it.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 8 November 2004 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I was gonna say!

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.setel.com/~ccprek/pics/starwarscharred.jpg

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 8 November 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Kevin Smith would be proud.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy shit.

Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

it would've been funnier if he'd turned over to watch Britain's Worst Wife on C5...

Or Britain's worst wife on a C5.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.nvg.ntnu.no/sinclair/images/c5onroad.jpg

Alba (Alba), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I bet she's an angel, compared to most of the ones not on C5s.

RJG (RJG), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm surprised there's been no "Britian's worst wife on C5" on Top Gear

ken c (ken c), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think it's that she's evil. Just inept.

Alba (Alba), Monday, 8 November 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Sinclair C5s still look quite futuristic don't they?

like that movie Tron

and CLEAR COLA

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 8 November 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

One think to find cheer in - if these Christian sects become very radical, they tend to stop voting.

-- Kevin Gilchrist (KevinGil14...) (webmail), November 8th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, they might decide to blow people instead. Not a very heart-warming prospect.

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...) (webmail), November 8th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or blow them up. Whatever.

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...) (webmail), November 8th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 8 November 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Do girls ever call their boobs funny names?

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 8 November 2004 23:41 (twenty-one years ago)

has anybody ever thought of taking a poo in a urinal?

-- Hari Ashurst (lindseyloha...), November 9th, 2004 11:03 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think lots of people have. isn't there a name for it?

-- the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound@hotmail.com), November 9th, 2004 11:04 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Comedy".

-- adam... (adamr...), November 9th, 2004 11:04 AM. (later)

the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, adam is good today!

(from the Ken C thread)

I don't like it when you talk about Dance Dance Revolution. I'm Jewish, for fuck's sake.
-- adam... (adamr...), November 8th, 2004.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

The thing is with Calum that he draws a picture. The most longetivenous element to him is the fact that you can almost feel the bony, matt coloured back arching in the morning as he reaches for his towel and switches the kettle on for Cup-a-soup. You can imagine quite perfectly the hands running through the hair, the thoughts gathering, the flesh aching for early morning ITV with it's blonde and it's lights and it's sensational sacharine.
Three sugars in tea. Main light on always. HIS posters are worth a lot of money and AREN'T going in the lounge, Daniel. Think you, of the clickety clack of the Compaq XL-32 keyboard with its strict, percussive tones as he thinks for that salacious moment whether to be Nigel or Colin today.

This cyclical world is perfecting, and never growing old. Thoughts cascade and combine as he spreads to other forums, other worlds. Soon at least half the Eastern Seaboard is cursing his putrid name as he, and he alone is responsible for powercuts as the flaming rises. No-one is safe, at least no-one who is Internet Capable.

So basically, he's going to die some day, some place, from something. It might be horrible, it might be peaceful, it could be the very best of natures' gold. But it will always be there. Think of this, my children, as you descend into these dark, dark days.

-- Bernard the Butler

stevie (stevie), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 01:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"moist owl drag hips"

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Or something approximating, I'm laughing too hard to type.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

A hand motion to try: while looking at someone you fancy make a circle with the thumb and index finger of one hand while poking the index finger of the other hand through the circle. If it doesn't work just find another person.
-- Bryan (twp62y...), November 9th, 2004.

miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 07:29 (twenty-one years ago)

After watching tonight's rerun of My So-Called Life (the 'rebellious' substitute teacher one wherein Don McKellar or a lookalike belittles and harrasses students, throws their work out the window, offers no creative writing instruction whatsoever beyond telling them to "be real" and let it all out and not care for petty matters like spelling or grammar, thus inspiring them to produce melodramatic angst-riddent tripe and really tame erotic poetry which ends up being censored by the evil principal who happens to be the only non-white authority figure on the show THIS WAS THE MOST ACCLAIMED TV SHOW PROBABLY OF THE ENTIRE 90s) with a new perspective and realizing it was easily the kitschiest hour of television ever (down to the stirring words "Question Everything" scrawled on the blackboard), I don't know whether to change my pick or to be even more committed to it.
-- sundar subramanian (sundar_subramanian200...), November 9th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 10:13 (twenty-one years ago)

perhaps if calum were to actually meet mark c, ned, martin and norm in the flesh he'd drop the banal desperate-attention-seeking abusive act?
what if one of us ended up on This Is Your Life one day...

"he irritated you like a wasp hovering around your beer and never made you laugh once - you thought he was just a microscopic blemish in the tapestry of your life, barely a footnote...well he's here tonight!"

-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...), November 9th, 2004 11:14 AM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... ken c
-- Dadaismus (kcoyne3...), November 9th, 2004 11:15 AM. (later)

ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I maintain faith that the show will return one day (along with The Krypton Factor)

Please can they return combined into one show?

"In our next round, our contestants are blindfolded, and must assemble these perspex blocks into a square, to make a picture of our next guest, somebody who was always there for them throughout the 1980s."


-- caitlin (wpsal...), November 9th, 2004 12:26 PM. (caitlin) (later)

beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

from the thread about correcting spelling mistakes in love letters:

can't wait for stephin merrit to work up three verses of mordant puns and electro bleeping on this very subject. oh wait, i just shot myself in the head.

-- debden (debdenherringbon...) (webmail), November 9th, 2004 10:18 AM. (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"excessive smoothie consumption" = "stop eating so many dicks"
-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), November 9th, 2004 12:46 PM. (epicharmus)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

she's like a bedrock of instability in these otherwise uncertain times

-- kingfish (jdsalmo...), November 9th, 2004.

Huk-L, Tuesday, 9 November 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

re marissa merchant - i was going to post it myself

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost; I encourage people to look in my fridge!

-- Tep (icaneatglas...) (webmail), November 9th, 2004 4:30 PM. (ktepi) (later) (link)

Not in a creepy way or anything.

-- Tep

I'm cracking up imagining him doing it in a creepy way.

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Look behind the orange juice, I .. left something there for you. Something ... nice. A surprise.

Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

A finger?

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

First you're all warm and genial: "hey, check out the fridge, man"
Then you get a little aggressive: "dude seriously, you really should look in my fridge."
Finally, it gets scary: "NO ONE is leaving here til he LOOKS. IN. MY. FRIDGE, dammit"

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I did find a finger once, but it's not in my fridge. I suppose I could have cured it, but hindsight is 20/20.

Look in my fucking fridge! I make my own butter! LOOK AT IT!

Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

And then the butter would be like carved into a mini-Trayce or mini-oops or something or I photoshopped Ned's head onto it.

Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

follow that immediately with "i can eat glass" and I think you could be sure that whoever is in the room will never fuck with you.
xpost ahahaha

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Can Tep tell us the story of how he found a finger, please?

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

He already did!

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Where? Here he just hints that as well as the joke finger Trayce suggested, there is a real story about finding a finger...

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, I say finger a LOT.

I was just looking for that, though, yeah. Conveniently, I have since written a story about it, by changing all of the details except the finger, and it'll be available online sometime in the next few months.

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks oops. And thanks Tep for sharing the story, I enjoyed it.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

That search page is a cross-section of my entire ILE existence, it's even got vinegar chicken on it.

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Look in my fucking fridge! I make my own butter! LOOK AT IT!

'I make my own butter' sounds like a euphemism for something.

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

A creepy euphemism. And definitely the kind of creepy I'd be. I wouldn't be the manic creepy guy, I'd be the one who just stared into the distance over your shoulder for a minute, and when you said "what?" I'd be like "nothing, nothing, I was just wondering what salami made out of human thigh would taste like. What were you saying?"

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

like vinegar chicken! it's all connected.

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes exactly like that. 'It puts the cornmeal on it's skin...' and stuff.

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Cornmeal would fall off if you just put it on the skin all willy-nilly!

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

well, it sounded more awkward to say 'it rolls itself in egg, then covers itself completely in cornmeal'.

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, there is very little I do willy-nilly.

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 01:08 (twenty-one years ago)

It bastes itself at every hour or else it gets the hose some more!

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

(mauer/whore)

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 01:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Pervert

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Jesus prefers catching.

-- trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhe...) (webmail), November 9th, 2004 11:06 PM. (trigonalmayhem) (later) (link)

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

from the "Fun John McCain Game!" thread:

Aww man, I was hoping this was some cool Flash game where you had to maneuver John McCain around some magic land with, like, gumdrops and falling eggs.
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), November 10th, 2004.

miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Do those figure prominently in Vietnamese prison cuisine?

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus christ michael!

g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 06:37 (twenty-one years ago)

What on earth is Marissa singing in the chorus of "Emu"? To me it sounds exactly like: "He'll get to know you/he likes a poo/he'll wrap around you/a wishypoo" That can't be right, but what else could it possibly be?

[...]

-- Philip Alderman (spleetl...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The Scotland smoking thread is turning up some joy:

---

No, I was just thinking that if, say, there were 30 people in a room, the odds of 25 of them being smokers is absolutely enormous (assuming roughly 25-30% of the population smoke). I guess if it's somewhere groups of smokers intentionally meet, that'd be different, but otherwise that's just fucked up.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), November 10th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Get out of this room! You're statistically impossible!"
-- Alba (albab...), November 10th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Also:

---

Is it paranoid to assume that governments are doing things like this to gradually discourage unstructured social interaction?
-- dave q (scrape10...), November 10th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Astonishingly (and I'm not being sarcastic here) I have found it entirely possible to continue my unstructured social interaction without a fag in my mouth.
-- Alba (albab...), November 10th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pubs are structures
-- Snowy Mann (rdmansto...), November 10th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and by fag, you do mean cigarette, right?
-- dave225 (right.knewi...), November 10th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, I mean a gay man's cock.
-- Alba (albab...), November 10th, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(sorry for the confusion - damn Atlantic!)
-- Alba (albab...), November 10th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

So, who won this in the end?

-- mark grout (mark.grou...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004 9:26 AM. (mark grout) (link)

The pig.

-- Jarlr'mai (jimmy.parke...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004 10:01 AM. (jarlrmai) (link)

Kenan (kenan), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

what time is the #1 likely to be announced? i'd like to be here for the final 10 but what with Gear on crazy time i'm not sure that'll happen.

-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...), November 10th, 2004 9:59 AM. (blueski) (later)
Yes, the U.S. is

Eastern Time
Central Time
Mountain Time
Crazy Time

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), November 10th, 2004 10:07 AM. (jaymc) (later)

todd swiss (eliti), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

The thing above, with RJG - it starts off with "I bet she's an Angel" or something - that little conversation made me spray my coffee all over my screen. And I'm at work. It didn't go over well.

planescapin' 'til dawn (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Alba is on fire today:

I walked by two ambiguously heteosexual dudes in my office as one mentioned something about 'glory holes' and other suggestive things. I couldnt tell if they were trying to trick me or not.

-- still bevens (bscrubbin(s)@yahoo.com) (webmail), November 10th, 2004 10:53 AM. (bscrubbins) (later) (link)

You mean, trick you into going "Ooh! What's a 'glory hole' - sounds fun. Can I try?"

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004 10:55 AM. (Alba) (later) (link)

"Do you have to sing "Land of hope and glory" while using one?"

-- mark grout (mark.grou...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004 10:57 AM. (mark grout) (later) (link)

In classy places you get to sing Portishead's 'Glory Box'.

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004 10:59 AM. (Alba) (later) (link)

Hmm... I may be confusing classy with lesbian again.

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004 10:59 AM. (Alba) (later) (link)

Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

How can I fool girls into taking galvanic skin response test?
-- Spinning Down Alone You Spin Alive (jonathan.william...), November 10th, 2004 11:29 AM.


mike skinner to thread
-- Porkpie (porkypi...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"On fire" = "even more bored at work than usual"

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Roxy, you're so easy!

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Roxy, you're so easy!

P.I.T.M.A.N. (Barima), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

quit, I'm gonna get a rep

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

can we make this thread title the new "duh" comeback thingy? a la "does the pope where a funny hat and shit in the woods?" like so:
you: hey, pal, is what i'm saying for real?
me: can a rat brain in a dish fly a flight simulator?

-- andrew m. (westernis...), November 10th, 2004 11:13 AM. (andrewmorgan) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't understand why they sell bread. I mean, they sell the yeast and the flour and sugar and so on, and they charge so much more for the bread. Do they really think we're so stupid that we won't just buy the ingredients and go home and make the bread?

-- n/a (nu...), November 10th, 2004 3:59 PM. (Nick A.) (later)

cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone told me that Lady Miss Kier is a cow, which put me off Deee-Lite a bit.

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no she's a human

-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004. (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so gullible.

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), November 10th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

first they came for the potheads but i wasn't a pothead so I just was like, whatever
-- beanz (beanzil...), November 10th, 2004 2:19 AM. (beanz)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 11 November 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

(BTW Tep, I said "a finger?" to yr fridge story because of your finding a finger on decateur st story! I thought you knew I'd remembered that... oh well! heh.)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 11 November 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Dubplatestyle: well mission accomplished i suppose

I believe this was the dreaded October Surprise Mr. Harvell hinted at prior to his departure.

-- gygax! (gygax0...), November 10th, 2004 3:57 PM. (gygax!) (later)


-- gygax! (gygax0...), November 11th, 2004. (later)


You sorta seem oddly content with that.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 11th, 2004. (later)


You definitely seem oddly content all the time!

-- gygax! (gygax0...), November 11th, 2004. (later)


And I'm more than happy with that.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 11th, 2004. (later)


cigarette?

-- Matos W.K. (michaelangelomato...), November 11th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 November 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

(I don't assume people remember my anecdotes! So I didn't want to be all "yeah, damn right a finger, I cured that bitch," and then to cross a wire or whatnot. Thinking someone is making a reference to you finding a finger + they're not = potential for creepiness x 1 billion)

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh, good point.

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 11 November 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha. And I've just realised that by cured you mean smoke/dried/preserved somehow, and not as in heal. I was sitting here thinking, 'you can't cure just a finger, can you? You'd need the whole person, surely'.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Not if it was Wolverine and I had that magic crystal from the Art Adams annual!

... I mean, yes.

I've been making a lot of cured meat lately, I've got it on the brain (I'm not sure you can cure brains).

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a shame, I'd like to see a finger crawl along a table like a worm...Also, curing meat? That's really cool.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it me or does Bush look like he's stuffing the package there?
-- luna (lunace...), November 11th, 2004 12:44 PM. (luna.c)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, please delete my brain for having looked at his crotchular area to begin with.
-- luna (lunace...), November 11th, 2004 12:45 PM. (luna.c)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

what thread is that from? i want to see his crotchular area!

caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

THat's the rat-brain thing...

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, i found it. if he's not stuffing the package, a rat brain can't fly a flight simulator. roffle!

caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha. I like his taxi-hailing two-finger wave as well.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Meat curing's been pretty cool -- there are limits, with just a regular kitchen and fridge (no smokehouse for bacon/sausage, no sausage maker or casings for link sausage, no air-drying facilities for great ham, etc), but on the other hand, you can do things that wouldn't ordinarily be bothered with, like curing ribs so they come out tasting ... well, like a cross between ribs and ham.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I sounds like a very cool thing to do.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I want ... oh I can't think of way to combine that. Ram? Hibs?

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sure you are indeed a very cool thing to do, Kevin, but I'll let others judge.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry! Haha. You know what I meant - I must have started saying somethung else then changed my mind. How horribly embarassing.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Rams! That works. I've just been calling them ham ribs:

(just for reference)
1/2 tbsp curing salt (i.e. Morton Tender Quick; curing salt's always clearly labeled as such, they don't try to trick you, like haha that guy cured his French fries)
1/2 tbsp brown sugar
1 teaspoon paprika, not hot, smoked if possible
1 teaspoon ground chipotle or cayenne
1/2 teaspoon Australian mountain pepper (subst black pepper)

Mix stuff; sprinkle over meaty parts of 2 lbs or so of pork ribs, both sides; Zip-Loc and refrigerate for 4-7 days; (they still need to be cooked)

And it's the lol thread, so penis wocka wocka wocka.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

#1
PULP - "Common People" (1387 points, 61 votes, 5 first place votes)

http://www.citadelrecords.com/cdsin/ju0511.jpg


comments?

-- Riot Gear! (drink_to_remembe...), November 10th, 2004 3:28 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This canon is balls.
-- Alba (albab...), November 10th, 2004 3:28 PM

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The picture of Cannon and Ball is funnier, but when aren't they?

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

i know ti didn't really go with that, but it was the combo that made me chortle

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, don't get me wrong - "This canon is balls." is damned clever.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

From "childhood obsessions" thread.....

[...]
- Setting up my sister's surfboard on her bed and climbing on, pretending I was a hot shit surfer chick. I fought crime, too. ...
- Swimming. I was a swimmin' fool. I secretly hoped one day I would turn into a mermaid. Or an otter. I didn't really care which.

-- luna

Man I would kill to see a 70s-style surfer chick cop show.

oops (Oops), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:49 (twenty-one years ago)

You know, my brother Närd, he try the "octopus" thing for several weeks after I remove his foot for the stew, before I move to city. In most recent correspondence with him I have recalled him stating very much that you, Mr. Casu-sissy, or whatever is that confounding handlebar moustache of a sofa-owner's name, are lying, and it is not fun. This is my brother Närd who tells me this, it is not me, in fact it is not even Närd but one of his coworkers at the goat mines accurately.
-- VARGBOT (TEKNOLOGI...), November 11th, 2004.

the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 11 November 2004 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

many gems on this thread

I do remember an art project proposal coming out of conversation with Tim H and maybe someone else (Carsmile? Sinkah? Anyway, it was their idea rather than mine, I should emphasise) at one point, where the idea was to go around some captive audience (the idea was about being on a train) with a clipboard, looking smart and official, and telling them we were conducting a survey. We would start with innocent ILX questions and gradually get more outrageous, with the more extreme ILX questions - it would be about finding out how long the appearance of officialness would carry it through, and when people would just refuse to cooperate any more. We were unanimous on the final question from ILX to use: what is the most unacceptable thing to come out of your arse?

I suspect this will be of little help to Nowell.

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), November 10th, 2004.

Masked Gazza, Thursday, 11 November 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Tep, the magic crystal was from the ALAN DAVIS annual! Sheesh!

David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 11 November 2004 05:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Did I just confuse the X-babies with a magic crystal?

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

You confused me with whatever it is you're talking about.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I'm confused.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 11 November 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

8th grade: Dani3lle Th0mas (The second. I sent her a Valentine on Feb. 14 in which I quoted some Yeats poem, as found in Bartlett's Quotations, theme: love, and then mustered up the courage to call her that night to see if she got it. It was an awkward conversation. She said the quote sounded familiar and thought it was from All My Children. Later in the year she dated P3ter Ros3ngren, who was nearing 6'0" by then -- convinced she only liked tall guys, I propped myself up on several textbooks one day in English class. It didn't work. She went to Spelman College, have no idea what happened after that.)

Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 11 November 2004 06:37 (twenty-one years ago)

You sorta seem oddly content with that.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 11th, 2004.


You definitely seem oddly content all the time!

-- gygax! (gygax0...), November 11th, 2004.

amateur!!st, Thursday, 11 November 2004 07:35 (twenty-one years ago)

8th grade: Dani3lle Th0mas (The second. I sent her a Valentine on Feb. 14 in which I quoted some Yeats poem, as found in Bartlett's Quotations, theme: love, and then mustered up the courage to call her that night to see if she got it. It was an awkward conversation. She said the quote sounded familiar and thought it was from All My Children. Later in the year she dated P3ter Ros3ngren, who was nearing 6'0" by then -- convinced she only liked tall guys, I propped myself up on several textbooks one day in English class. It didn't work. She went to Spelman College, have no idea what happened after that.) = jaymc

Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 11 November 2004 07:45 (twenty-one years ago)

From ILM's "New Album Leak" Thread:

Courtney Love Live at Folsom Women's Prison

-- Tranströmmer (albert.bonniers.big.nasty.feet.ar...), November 8th, 2004.

-------------------------------------------------------

I married a man in Hawaii just to watch him die...

-- W i l l (lolomgwt...), November 8th, 2004.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 11 November 2004 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really see this as a moral issue.
-- Alba (albab...), November 10th, 2004 9:19 PM. (Alba) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you make me sick
-- RJG (RJ...), November 10th, 2004 9:22 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Thursday, 11 November 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

You guys are sick. Boycott child juice in the supermarket!

-- Dan I. (w1nt3rmut...), November 11th, 2004 6:41 AM. (Dan I.) (later)

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 11 November 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Farouk Kaddoumi named as successor, apparently.

-- Matt DC (runmd...), November 11th, 2004 10:20 AM. (Matt DC) (later)

He's no Rob Da Bank.

-- Alba (albab...), November 11th, 2004 10:21 AM. (Alba) (later)

Rob Da West Bank

-- ken c (pykachu10...), November 11th, 2004 10:31 AM. (ken c) (later)

(though this really needs a killer line about the Israelis having been doing this for years, etc.)

Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 11 November 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm amazed that even in a thread where I'm largely giving serious advice I still managed to make a whole bunch of awful jokes. When did I decide all of my posts should be sub-sitcom banter?
-- Dan Perry (djperr...), November 19th, 2003.

*canned audience laughter*
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 19th, 2003.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Thursday, 11 November 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I always enjoy it when people think they know the truth, and argue entirely using propaganda from anti-muslim\arab sites.
-- Kevin Gilchrist (KevinGil14...), November 11th, 2004 2:31 PM. (Mr Fusion) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Especially when they're arguing about football.
-- dave225 (right.knewi...), November 11th, 2004 2:39 PM. (Dave225) (later)

M1chael Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ann0yman (Ferg), Thursday, 11 November 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Dani3lle Th0mas was purdy! John I never would've suspected you had such a thing for the dark-skinned ladies!

oops (Oops), Thursday, 11 November 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

You know, Mao Tse Tung announced the Chinese Cultural Revolution in 1958 with the slogan 'Let a thousand flowers bloom, a hundred schools of thought contend'. It turned out it was all a trick to see who was against him; the 'contending schools' were rounded up and shot or sent to re-education camps.
What's nice is that on ILE it's totally the other way around. The title of this thread might as well say 'It has been decided that we shall cut the flowers and end the contention'. From there, everything blossoms and no-one agrees. And it turns out that nothing has been decided after all.

-- Momus (nic...), November 10th, 2004 5:02 PM. (Momus) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next time I post something about the danger of stored cookies that blatantly list your password on them, remind me to phrase it in terms of a story about Lech Walesa's ascention to the Polish presidency.
-- Allyzay Science Explosion (allyza...), November 10th, 2004 5:03 PM. (allyzay) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 November 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

It just seems totally unnecessary, and, in a way, totally demasculating - you're accessorizing masturbation. Why don't you just put a pretty bow around your scrotum while you're at it?

-- n/a (nu...), November 11th, 2004 10:24 AM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 November 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck it, most of this thread: Why are "pocket pussies" considered so pathetic while dildos aren't?

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 November 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Tep is a stone cold sexdunce genius.

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 November 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://www.werenotsorry.com/images/manflag.jpg

SO AUTOMATICALLY THAT MAKES HIM A BUSH PATRIOT! LAZY LIBERALS SITTING DOWN! MLK ALWAYS WANTING TO SIT AT DINER COUNTERS,E T C.

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...), November 11th, 2004 2:13 PM. (Pleasant Plains) (later)

cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 11 November 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

his thread seems as good a thread as any on which to mention that i saw george gosset's penis yesterday

-- unknown or illegal user (), November 11th, 2004 11:40 AM.

g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

is burritoville an actual restaurant or like an idealized noise dude homeland, like margaritaville?

-- amateur!!st (-...), November 11th, 2004 12:41 PM. (later)

s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

hah

sowhatifimonmysticrecords (deangulberry), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahaha!
xpost

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Tep in genius mode as always:

"Okay, we need to cut costs on this fuckable fake head."

"Yeah, no kidding, the shipping alone is cost-prohibitive. I mean, it's not a light head."

"Well, I'm thinking we carve off all the unnecessary parts, the parts without utility. You can't fuck the forehead or the cerebellum, you hear me?"

"Do I ever!"

"Okay, let's get started."

"Right, I'm going to just cut off everything above the mouth here."

"Absolutely, except the nose."

"Right, so here we -- wait, what?"

"Well, you can't get rid of the nose! That's the whole point!"

"How is that -- I mean, we're getting rid of all the non-usable parts, right, the parts not involved with --"

"Yeah, exactly! How can you get rid of the nose, you sexdunce?"

"I'm just -- look -- all right, you do the carving, okay? I'm going to just ... go over there ... I'm going to see if there's a cheaper brand of styrofoam we can use, that's what I'm going to do. ... nose-fucker."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Nothing, Dad."

-- Tep (icaneatglas...), November 11th, 2004 5:00 AM. (ktepi)

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

The secret to my little comedy dialogue things is that they always contain the phrase "-- wait, what?"

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

It works.

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm worried that I'll receive a call, and the sensation (perhaps not dissimilar to eating a particularly potent mint) might startle me so much that I would veer into a semi.
-- Riot Gear! (speed.to.roa...) (webmail), November 11th, 2004 4:19 PM. (Gear!) (later) (link)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I usually call it a half-mast, but semi works.
-- Tep

oops (Oops), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Tep is on today.

Kenan (kenan), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

There is no off pos...oh that saying is so lame I can't even bring myself to finish it.

oops (Oops), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't what you were about to say, but it was already gramatically incorrect.

Kenan (kenan), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes I must say the "--wait, what?" totally made that exchage :D As did the way you somehow managed to convey that he muttered "nose fucker" under his breath without even having to explain it. Damn you're good.

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 12 November 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha, and the part I was happy with was "Nothing, Dad," because usually those punchline-in-the-middle bits peter out in the follow-through and you have to be funny about something else, which is hard to do in a post. Anyway, thanks, but I mean, it's a funny thread. It's not hard to be tall on someone else's stilts.

Tep (ktepi), Friday, 12 November 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I imagine if you took, say, a largish sponge and smothered it with mayonnaise, and then rolled it up and stuffed it into a mayonnaise jar it would probably suffice as a masturbatory
tool.

-- Andrew (n...), November 12th, 2004. (enneff) (later)

Seems like a lot of work. And a waste of mayonnaise.

-- Kevin Gilchrist (KevinGil14...), November 12th, 2004. (Mr Fusion) (later)

I'm just hypothesizing.

-- Andrew (n...), November 12th, 2004. (enneff) (later)

yeah that's an awful lot of effort to make your dick smell like a freaking salad.

-- Allyzay Science Explosion (allyza...), November 12th, 2004. (allyzay) (later)

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 12 November 2004 05:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Like I told Luna, Tep, the end was the best part.
xpost

oops (Oops), Friday, 12 November 2004 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

You know what WOULD be creepy? Like totally on objective terms, I defy anyone to argue with me, if someone bought a fake pussy and then went down on it. Now that would be really bizarro.

-- Allyzay Science Explosion

oops (Oops), Friday, 12 November 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 12 November 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

2 posts into the "Does Coffee make your voice deeper" thread a drunken Bryan stumbles in:
I suspect it's how your now being a "coffee achiever" is manifesting itself. When I drink lots of coffee I sit and try to pull out my pubes one by one. My groin looks like Barbie's head after stinky little brother gets at it with his scissors. Gimme some coffee.
-- Bryan (twp62y...), November 11th, 2004.

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 12 November 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

So, you still want me to ignore your email or shall we be grown up about it?

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), November 12th, 2004 12:15 PM. (Mark C) (later)

...

Raad the email and make your own mind up where it goes from there.

-- Onimo (gerry.wat...), November 12th, 2004 12:27 PM. (GerryNemo) (later)

Righto. Thanks.

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), November 12th, 2004 12:29 PM. (Mark C) (later)

Onimo, it hasn't arived - can you resend it to boyincorduroy at yahoo dot com?

-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), November 12th, 2004 12:30 PM. (Mark C) (later)

RJG (RJG), Friday, 12 November 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

But veal is immoral!
-- Kevin Gilchrist (KevinGil14...), November 12th, 2004.

only if you care about cows

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), November 12th, 2004 5:24 AM. (latebloomer) (later)

but if by "immoral" you mean "delicious", then yes it is quite immoral.

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), November 12th, 2004 5:25 AM. (latebloomer) (later)

beanz (beanz), Friday, 12 November 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I've only ever had one girlfriend who was on the pill, and we never had sex without a condom either.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), November 12th, 2004 6:45 AM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bitch have aids?
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), November 12th, 2004 6:46 AM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 12 November 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

the lighter side of blount there

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Friday, 12 November 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to imagine the condom-applied-by-mouth is the closest mortal man comes to whatever happened to Batman on the way down the batpole from the library to the cave.

-- Tep (icaneatglas...) (webmail), November 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 November 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Tep, indeed, is on fire -- vis-a-vis the 'Cockolada':

With dread, I wonder what flavors they have?

-- Michael White (Sanmichel...), November 12th, 2004. (later)

Vegetarian, Meat Eater, Drunk As Shit, and Still Tastes Like The Chick He's Cheating On You With

-- Tep (icaneatglas...), November 12th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 November 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Anne Coulter has the longest (perhaps grossest looking) arms in the world! She's proof we evolved from APES!

-- Alex in SF (clobberthesauru...), November 12th, 2004 4:45 PM. (Alex in SF) (later)

beanz (beanz), Friday, 12 November 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

We need to find the grimmest Superman story out there -- yeah, yeah, I know -- and remove all the Superman dialogue (keep the Clark stuff) and replace all the thought balloons with "Wheeee, I'm flying!" even if what he's doing is knocking the flaming meteors out of the air so they can't kill the convent full of pregnant orphans.

-- Tep (icaneatglas...) (webmail), November 12th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 12 November 2004 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Possibly the most horrifying yet simultaneously hilarious phrase ever written on ILX:

he's like an amorous gallagher
-- mark p (mark.p****...), November 12th, 2004 3:36 PM. (Mark P) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

are you guys like the david copperfields of masturbating? "think-off"? did you actually blow a load when you did this or did a rabbit come out of the tip of your penis.

-- Velveteen Bingo (formerlypoopsmcge...), November 12th, 2004 7:43 AM. (Chris V) (later) (link)

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god, my life is a Meg Ryan movie.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

-- luna (lunace...), November 12th, 2004 3:19 AM. (luna.c)

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 13 November 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(Soz luna, but I did giggle)

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 13 November 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i am scared

-- Nowell (noelcollin...) (webmail), November 12th, 2004 6:30 PM. (ex machina) (1 trackback) (later) (link)

Remy (x Jeremy), Saturday, 13 November 2004 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Bahahah yeah :D

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 13 November 2004 04:43 (twenty-one years ago)

(nice touch with the bolding)

Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 13 November 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Those remaster CDs suck with their bullshit single versions and alternate takes. If any band should not havet their records spoiled with bonus tracks tacked on it's these guys. There should be silence to contemplate cosmic redemption after "Perpetual Change," "Heart of the Sunrise," Siberian Khatru," etc.
-- citrus scent lysol disinfectant antibacterial kitchen cleaner (dvanvlie...), November 12th, 2004

**%@, Saturday, 13 November 2004 04:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Some acquaintance of a friend of mine had (and presumably sill has) a tattoo that used to make me wince with contempt. The design featured the classic Einstursende Neubauten logo ........ ....
but over it in New York Times font was the word, "ROLLINS". This guy had seen Henry's tattoo of same and figured it was a Rollins original design. Talk about not doin' your fuckin' homework before making a descision with permanent ramifications.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 13th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 14 November 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear God, let us pray that Richard Cheney's (French name!!!) penis occasionally drains enough blood from his ticker to deprive him of the advantages of life.

-- Michael White (Sanmichel...), November 14th, 2004.

sugarpants (sugarpants), Sunday, 14 November 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Classic for listening to music, taking a walk, getting busy.
Dud when it becomes a daily habit and you start thinking ancient Aztecs are sending you messages through indie rock songs.

-- lysander spooner (paradi...), November 14th, 2004.

what if they fucking ARE?!

-- s1ocki (slytu...), November 14th, 2004.

RickyT (RickyT), Sunday, 14 November 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Micky Waller's receiving the Nobel Prize in Percussion had an important side effect. For it was in Stockholm after the prize-giving ceremony, at an afterparty given by the Swedish Royal Academy of Sciences, that Rod Stewart first met Britt Ekland. Prior to this, Rod had only been interested in dark-haired Southern European Gina Lollobrigida types. In the parallel, non-Nobel universe, there is a Rod Stewart album entitled "Brunettes Have More Fun."

-- Ken L (lauter...), November 15th, 2004.


genius!

amateur!!st, Monday, 15 November 2004 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Momus actually made me LOL here:

Then again, the iconography of the John Petrucci cover is not saying that 'more complex is better'. It's saying 'Obey, dork, I am your dark S&M master!'

-- Momus (nic...), November 15th, 2004 1:30 AM. (Momus) (later)

Every country has their stupid (AaronHz), Monday, 15 November 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

This makes me want to pound big spikey nails into peoples' skulls with a burning Bible.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...) (webmail), November 15th, 2004 1:27 PM. (vassifer) (later) (link)

I didn't know you were religious.

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), November 15th, 2004 1:29 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

mark p (Mark P), Monday, 15 November 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

am., of course it's melodramatic, but in addition to mourning for the loss of the person, people are also mourning their own aging, another step forward, another hero gone. They are mourning an end of an era, that is, an end of THEIR era.
-- n/a

sometimes I think the staff of certain music magazines sits around all day, every day, ashen-faced, stammering, "I just don't know what to say....fuck, man...Cobain."
-- Riot Gear!

:| (....), Monday, 15 November 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe 'middle America's' problem is that there is no 'middle America', and maybe this middle-American resents being misdefined by boorish defenders of fake 'democracy' and faux-populists who are too arrogant to try to understand someone's argument, which is the opposite of David Brook's argument. WTF indeed.

-- k3rry (d?m&%1...) (webmail), November 15th, 2004 2:58 PM. (dymaxia) (link)

I think I'll just eat in tonight.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), November 15th, 2004 2:59 PM. (Ned) (link)

Isolationist!

-- Pleasant Plains (acewhiske...) (webmail), November 15th, 2004 3:14 PM. (Pleasant Plains) (link)

Kenan (kenan), Monday, 15 November 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't care that this is old, I blew an antler out my nose when I read it:

From Covers that were obviously last minute rush jobs
http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/dre100/e186/e18659wcch3.jpg
-- Salmon Pink (salmon_pin...), January 29th, 2004 9:32 PM.

I think he got that picture taken at Sears.
-- Salmon Pink (salmon_pin...), January 29th, 2004 9:33 PM.

Probably got the shirt there while he was at it.
-- may pang (pange...), January 29th, 2004 9:38 PM.

dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to agree with the women usually being the worst offenders.

I used to work at McDonald's and occasionally, at the end of a day, I would have to clean the washrooms. I learnt to fear these days for I knew there was a good chance I was going to see something so awful, so horrible that it would shake the very foundations of reality as I understood it. Disturbing scenes that I had not been exposed to since the last time I had to work that awful shift. Stalls that looked like amateur abortions were being performed by escaped mental patients. Hair and tampons stuck the mirrors like some kind of shrine to some obscure, twisted god. And after these demented individuals were through defiling the facilities it was up to me, tears streaming down my face, to clean these abominations. These were, of course, the women's washrooms.

The men's would usually have pee on the floor.

-- Thermo Thinwall

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Your Fucking ILX DEATHMATCH

miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 04:07 (twenty-one years ago)

it is OK to be emotionally attached to things that maybe, logically, you shouldn't neccessarily be! what a bunch of vulcans!

-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004 9:37 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

has anyone said otherwise??

-- John (johndahle...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004 9:43 PM. (jdahlem) (later) (link)

someone was just about to!

-- s1ocki (

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 04:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Brown students are the art of pretend everything.

-- Laura H. (elemenopa...), November 16th, 2004.

amateur!!st, Tuesday, 16 November 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

[From: Parents who are cooler than their children]

http://www.artlex.com/ArtLex/g/images/grotes_goya.saturn.lg.JPG
http://www.cheeretc.com/mascots/mascots%20images/Zeus.jpg

-- g--ff (gffcnn...) (webmail), November 15th, 2004 10:24 PM. (gcannon) (later) (link)

Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Also the son-of-Momus from the same thread.

Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Today, for the second time ever, I was sitting in the stall when I realized the guy in the stall next to mine had flushed a while ago (a minute or so) and was just standing in there (I could see his feet). Then he put on his pants. This meant he had been standing there for a minute at least with his pants completely off. WTF?
-- n/a (nu...), November 15th, 2004.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

afterglow
-- MC Transmaniacon (natepatri...), November 15th, 2004.

briania (briania), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i hear the ray pic gets alot wrong and pretty much ignores his jazz side. whereas maybe the chucky flick gets alot right and doesn't ignore his jizz side?
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), November 15th, 2004.

Cheesy yet smooth.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://images-rr.bizrate.com/product/orig/4/9/3/82394/82394_158709_170x170.jpg

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah.

William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

the walmart where i grew up had led zeppelin in the z's

-- g--ff (gffcnn...), November 16th, 2004. (gcannon) (later)


the walmart where i grew up...wait there is no walmart where i grew up. blue state 4ever!

-- amateur!!st (-...), November 16th, 2004. (later)

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Cause (Insert Other Message Board Here)'s got a big ol' butt
I know I told you that I'd be true
'Cause (Insert Other Message Board Here)'s got a big ol' butt
So I'm leaving you

See ya!

-- Ken L (lauter...), November 16th, 2004.

miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

From Dizzee Rascal on Band Aid III's Feed The World - C or D?

I want a Eurodisco band aid, with the bloke from Aqua going "come on Barbie lets save Mali" in place of the Dizzee lines.
-- Matt DC (runmd...), November 16th, 2004 3:26 PM. (Matt DC) (later)

ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

BRILLIANT, NO MATTER WHAT ALLY SAYS:

I wonder if she's ever been in a men's restoom before?

Mo Kin in the boy's room.

-- lawrence kansas (lawrence_kansa...), November 16th, 2004 12:20 PM. (lawrence kansas) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I especially like Live in Tokyo's back cover. Signature Lydon scowl and red-yellow spikes like a beacon of bitterness in a hazy sea of brunette.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 16th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i love that cover too... definitely made me determined to make it to tokyo someday when i first saw it
-- Fritz Wollner (fritzwollner5...), November 16th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Likewise. Still haven't, alas.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 16th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually, I think Lost in Translation officially cured me of my desire to goto Tokyo.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 16th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

The Lotter = EVIL
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 16th, 2004

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Lottery is even worse!
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 16th, 2004

Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahah

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"No secs please, we're British."
-- Michael White (Sanmichel...), November 16th, 2004 1:42 PM.

jody b. kerosene (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

wife is mad at a coworker of hers. i suggested they pudding wrestle.
not the best

-- JaXoN (jaso...), November 16th, 2004. (JasonD) (later)


JaXon, let me guess: you are somewhat pudgy and doofusy, work in some kind of blue-collar job, and are constantly saying things that are either dopey and hilarious or witty and hilarious. Meanwhile, your wife is attractive, thin, perky, yet sarcastic. You live across the street from your wacky in-laws, and your best friend is black. You have 3 young kids, although one of them looks suspiciously different from last season, oops, I mean last year. Finally, everything you say is punctuated by hysterical laughter that emanates from thin air.
-- n/a

stevie (stevie), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not trying to "save" her! She seems weirdly okay with her condition -when she told me about it she was drinking a strawberry shake, and she told me, "I'm gonna throw this up later" or something.
-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 16th, 2004 3:47 PM. (Nowell) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jon, she may really be anorexic/bulemic, but from the way you describe it, it sounds like a plea for attention.
-- n/a (nu...), November 16th, 2004 3:48 PM. (Nick A.) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe. I doubt it.
-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 16th, 2004 3:50 PM. (Nowell) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i wish i could embed this thread with my performance of "candle in the wind" rewritten for jon benet ramsey.

-- Yanc3y (ystrickle...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004. (later) (link)

[...]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if it is possible, i will. i will try to track down my lyrics in the meantime. i'm pretty sure they include the couplet: "your candle blew out/ before your pubes ever did."

-- Yanc3y (ystrickle...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 November 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX, give me self-haircut tips for when I finish this bottle of wine and want to cut my hair later

I'll need all the help I can get going into this thing

-- trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhe...), November 16th, 2004 3:09 PM. (later)

Answers

. . .

use dynamite.

-- RJG (RJ...), November 16th, 2004 3:17 PM. (later)

. . .

use a rifle.

-- RJG (RJ...), November 16th, 2004 3:22 PM. (later)

explosives and ballistics are hardly necessary for a simple haircutting operation!

What are we here, the US military?

-- trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhe...), November 16th, 2004 3:24 PM. (later)

you don't really want advice, it seems.

-- RJG (RJ...), November 16th, 2004 3:27 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

IF GEORGE BAILEY NEVER LIVED HIS WIFE WOULD'VE STOPPED HAVING NORMAL VISION AND BECOME NEARSIGHTED OMG WTF.

Because of all the masturbating, duh.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), November 17th, 2004 4:16 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"And there won't be snow in Africa
This Christmas time"
Horrors! HELP THE POOR SNOWLESS AFRICANS!

This song has always been straight-up post-missionary shite. I await the day when a bunch of Middle Eastern pop stars put out a charity single to help impoverished Appalachians or to send dentists to Brighton, called "Do they know it's Ramadan."

-- carl w (cwilso...), November 16th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

so these are the black metal guys?

-- bulbs (fan...), November 17th, 2004 9:47 PM. (bulbs) (later) (link)

]:-(

-- bulbs (fan...), November 17th, 2004 9:50 PM. (bulbs) (later) (link)

you were maybe expecting momus?

-- Mr. Vas Djifrens (THEWARLOCK8...), November 17th, 2004 9:51 PM. (byzantum) (later) (link)

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Old-school Krispy Kremes where you can watch the donuts being made radicool. On the conveyor belts. And they have so much glaze they are so yummy I want to run in the back of the store and ride on the conveyor belt and smear pastry all over my body and get quickie fried enough to where a donut shell is my second skin. Then I would dip self in glaze and be a hot Donut Batter Man!

Then I could run down the street and police would chase me. Probably because they would want to eat me! Then they would shoot me thru the upper torso and I would be a Donut too! The blood could be the jelly. Then I could have something to eat in the ambulance ride.

They might say, who the hell is this walkin', talkin' Gingerbread Mang. They I'd tell them alas I was no Gingerbread, but the Donut Christ. They'd say I was crazy. I'd say "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares!" But, the quarter would have a hole innit and they'd say, "Hey, what's big idea! There's a hole in the quarter!"

"Well, there's a hole in this Donut too!"

Then I would steal an Uzi and escape to the next Krispy Kreme or donut shop with a conveyer belt. What dreams may come.

-- Donniewalder Donuts Go There (donniewalde...), November 17th, 2004 1:08 AM. (later) (link)

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG DONUT CHRIST!

*dies*

todd swiss (eliti), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 06:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I still love writing! The process of pitching and searching for agents, now there's the problem.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 17th, 2004 5:03 AM. (Ned) (later)

It's amazing, with all that CIA work, that you still manage to play professional baseball.

-- Pangolino (electrically_wire...), November 17th, 2004 5:14 AM. (ricki spaghetti) (later)

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I know! I just spewed beer everywhere!
ha ha xpost

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 06:25 (twenty-one years ago)

How droll.

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 06:34 (twenty-one years ago)

dnftd

RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I think also the aluminium pots tend to burn/stink easier too - stainless steel ones are more pricey but, altho ive blackened mine, it doesnt have a burnt smell at all.

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), November 17th, 2004 6:43 PM. (trayce)

I am just guessing tho, mind you. I sound like some kind of nob coffee expert, haha.

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), November 17th, 2004 6:43 PM. (trayce)

So that's why they're more expensive.

-- Adamdrome Crankypants (ada...), November 17th, 2004 6:43 PM. (Autumn Almanac)

mmmm nob coffee

-- gem (gemilyinterrupte...), November 17th, 2004 6:44 PM. (trisk)

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 07:49 (twenty-one years ago)

This has probably been said before, but given that the majority of people from Ethiopia are muslim wasn't the line "thank God it's them instead of you" open to misinterpretation? And "let them know it's Christmas time" for that matter?
doesn't matter if they're muslim or jewish or hindu or martian -- that is a mind-bogglingly weird line any way you slice it. assuming you're some kind of christian, which presumably you are if you're trying to save an entire continent by exporting christmas to them, i'm reasonably sure your own bible doesn't recommend you "thank god" for someone else's misery. i'm sure the intentions were good. but the line is truly awful.

-- fact checking cuz (factcheckingcu...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...so i guess my question is: are there ANY intepretations of the above line that reflect positively on the singer?
-- fact checking cuz (factcheckingcu...), November 17th, 2004.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...so i guess my question is: are there ANY intepretations of the above line that reflect positively on the singer?
I guess "be thankful for what you have because it could be much worse."

-- wetmink (minksof...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually, the majority of Ethiopians are Orthodox Christians, not Muslims.
-- bvpcvms (bvpcvm...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

in that case i guess it's ok to thank the creator for making them poor and hungry.
-- fact checking cuz (factcheckingcu...), November 17th, 2004.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i think there should be a thread on crap british dancing. and also why brits fuck like prostitutes -- no kissing, pls!
-- Yanc3y (ystrickle...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know who you've been fucking.
-- Alba (albab...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(it's probably best that way)
-- Alba (albab...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well british prostitutes BUT STILL!
-- Yanc3y (ystrickle...), November 17th, 2004.

Al (sitcom), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm confused as to why Ludacris performing with the Doors is less ridiculous than Snoop.

-- Nick H (nhill8...) (webmail), November 17th, 2004 9:44 AM. (Nick H) (later) (link)

he doesn't talk as funny

-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...) (webmail), November 17th, 2004 9:44 AM. (blueski) (later) (link)

Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i once saw a hobo butt nekkid washing his balls and asshole in the middle of a downtown boston mcdonalds. if that dude from super size me wanted to really drive a point home he should have filmed this.

-- Big Baby Bingo (formerlypoopsmcge...), November 17th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ACTUAL POEM I WROTE (I AM GUESSING THIRD GRADE):
OUR COUNTRY? - AMERIKA

If Russians ruled our country
It would have a funny name
The nameAmerica would be spelled with a K
George Was
The Russians would be to blame

If Russians ruled our country
There would be no Independence Day
We would sit very sad in our rooms
Four days and a month after May

If Russians ruled our country
That would be such an awful thought
So I think I'd better stop dreaming
Before I hear "This is Amerika I caught"

[Drawing of a kid with his hair sticking straight up and yelling. Balloon reads "AARGH." To the right, drawing of a guy with a hat probably meant to resemble a bubushka but looking more like a turban. Balloon reads "HEY KID WE RUSSIANS GOT YOUR COUNTRY."]

---

I can't make this up, people. There's a reason I kept this.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), November 17th, 2004 12:37 AM. (jaymc) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

(The HTML got fucked, the "George Washington" part was supposed to be crossed out to indicate a false start)

n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, scan it in!!

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, that really does need to be scanned.

Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

That "four days and a month after May" rhyme is totally brilliant!

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I told him it needed scanning and he has no scanner! I cried.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Forget about me, how do you get an ulcer at your age?!
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), November 17th, 2004 2:44 PM. (jaymc)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I ate too much Play-Doh and fell off the swingset
-- C('ing on)urt1sss (curtis.stephens@gmail.com), November 17th, 2004 2:50 PM. (Curtis Stephens)

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Post it to someone who has a scanner already!!

jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes!

Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Rizzles on the stizzle
Rizzles on the stizzle
Into dat haws we're born
Into this wizzle we're thrizzle
Like da Dawg without ma BONE
Actin' out alone
Rizzles on the stizzle
There's a kizzle on the rizzle
His brizzle is squizzlin' like a tizzle
Take a long holidizzle
Let your children plizzle
If ya give this homey a rizzle
Sweet memory will dizzle
Kizzle on the rizzle, yeah

Bitch ya gotta love y' man
Bitch ya gotta love y' man
Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depizzles
Our life will never izzle
Gotta love your man, yizzle

Woah

Rizzles on the stizzle
Rizzles on the stizzle
Into dat haws we're born
Into this wizzle we're thrizzle
Like da Dawg without ma BONE
Actin' out alone
Rizzles on the stizzle

Rizzles on the stizzle
Rizzles on the stizzle
Rizzles on the stizzle
Rizzles on the stizzle
Rizzles on the stizzle

-- donut christ (do...), November 17th, 2004.

miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

genius

bulbs (bulbs), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

His brizzle is squizzlin' like a tizzle

hahahaha

Kenan (kenan), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't read that in an "it makes its own gravy" kind of way. I don't generate pie, I don't exude pie, I just bring pie into being where once there was no pie.
-- Tep (icaneatglas...) (webmail), November 17th, 2004. (ktepi)

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 17 November 2004 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I just read the Ebert review of the Spongebob movie.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think that may have killed the Sexcapades.
-- jocelyn (nalra...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and...
xpost

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), November 17th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm assuming Ebert knew he wasn't cheese...
-- sgs (sarahsonni...), November 17th, 2004.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 18 November 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahaha, that Vas Djifrens one!

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 18 November 2004 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

One of these is a party; two is an orgy; two plus a bag of Fritos and a glass of milk is 120 Days of Sodom. Any more than that is a funeral.

-- the apex of nadirs (crump...), November 18th, 2004 10:05 PM.

hockey family (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)


other products for twelve year old girls: james dean, the beatles, j.d. salinger, hello kitty stickers, bill clinton


products for forty year old men: suv's, viagra, "real music", george w. bush

-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), November 17th, 2004. (James Blount)

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I confess I cribbed the first half of that from a Robert Fripp quote. "Me and a book is a party. Me and a book and a cup of coffee is an orgy."

the apex of nadirs (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 18 November 2004 04:44 (twenty-one years ago)

From ILC's poll of the grebtest comics evah:

Anyway, time for another quick break - I'll try to get the next few up this evening. Next up is the comic which got my No.1 vote, so I'll try and do it justice... :)
-- Tom (freakytrigge...), November 13th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

here comes garfield!
-- cinniblount (littlejohnnyjewe...), November 13th, 2004.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 18 November 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Once I got a call saying I had won free dance lessons (no shit), and I started crying and told the woman that I had no legs.

-- martin m. (mushrus...), November 17th, 2004 11:44 PM. (mushrush) (later)

Ol' prune face (Mark C), Thursday, 18 November 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

?!?!? Where in the WORLD is that brilliant post from?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 November 2004 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm all in favor of making sure the terrorists rot in hell, but the levels of FEAR the media has instilled in people are just ridiculous. meanwhile, people in new york (the biggest target of terrorist threats in america) voted something like 70/30 in favor of kerry. what does this mean? probably that we nyc'ers spend less time watching teevee and more time having ROUGH GAY SEX WITH PEOPLE WHO KNOW BIGGER WORDS THAN YOU.
-- hockey family


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

not to dismiss the rest of new york state of course
-- hockey family

stevie (stevie), Thursday, 18 November 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, Martin's post is from the "phone you but don't leave a message" thread. It's a wonderful thread.

Ol' prune face (Mark C), Thursday, 18 November 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

from 90s singles poll results thread:


I'm surprised some people haven't taken their ball from ILX and gone home.
-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 18 November 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Please print this!

Matthew Wilder

A loyal P. Kael fan, age 13

Des Planes, Illinois

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 18 November 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

what the

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 18 November 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

not sure if Ken was fishing here but...

i didn't know jerry the nipple did a magic eye fanzine
-- ken c (pykachu10...), November 18th, 2004 8:47 AM. (ken c) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NIPPER
-- ken c (pykachu10...), November 18th, 2004 8:47 AM. (ken c) (later)

Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 18 November 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

man i only get excelsiored for my typos nowadays

ken c (ken c), Thursday, 18 November 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

what the
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), November 18th, 2004.

its from this thread:

The Anti-Rockist Protests Too Much

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 18 November 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm guessing it'd be impossible to understand the LOL without reading through that whole 923489238 posts long thread.. i give up

ken c (ken c), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

TEH NATIONAL ANTHEM OF ILX

Laura H. (laurah), Thursday, 18 November 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I get fanmail to Lindsey Lohan
There's this one girl who i have been corresponding with as 'Lindsey Lohan'. I told her to stay in school and not do drugs.

-- Hari Ashurst (lindseyloha...), November 18th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 18 November 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually had to check the dictionary for the definition of "sass"... I do think I possess it, yes.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 18 November 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy mother of fucking strength -- there is some hippy dippy chic chick in the office talking about how she's macrobiotic and is totally spiritual and is going ON AND ON about brown rice, sea vegetables, and seaweed and how she eats so much food and feels so wonderful. She sounds like a brainwashed member of a cult.

I wish I were wearing a suit made of bacon and ice cream. I would gleefully tap dance on her bleach-blonde head.

-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), November 18th, 2004 1:26 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 November 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm starting to think I should be all old-fashioned and sit in the waiting room smoking.

-- chris herrington (herringto...), November 18th, 2004 3:21 PM. (chris herrington) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

go boil some water
-- Maria D. (maria...), November 18th, 2004 3:25 PM. (Maria D.) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm with you. Just sit me outside with one of those paging coasters they use at restaurants.
BEEP BEEP BEEP!!

"Looks like my baby is ready!"

-- Dale Panopticalis (cpre...), November 18th, 2004 3:26 PM. (cprek) (later)

n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 18 November 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I totally caught lesbianism this way. I wore pants instead of a skirt and before you knew it, I wanted MORE AND MORE PANTS and then I started wearing SNEAKERS and then, then, THEN I BOUGHT A HAT. And that is how I caught lesbianism.

-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), November 18th, 2004 2:10 PM. (later)

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 November 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm sure it does, jeanne, but i have a phobia of childbirth. what's the technical term for that?

-- lauren (warmleatherett...), November 18th, 2004. (laurenp) (later)

'Maieusiophobia'. No, really.

-- Archel (dilettant...), November 18th, 2004. (Archel) (later)

That's a fear of vowels, archel.

-- Ol' prune face (boyincorduro...), November 18th, 2004. (Mark C) (later)

caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 18 November 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The liquorice ones are incredibly unbelievably good, and are now my favorite candy that is neither chocolate nor sour nor not candy at all but actully a blowjob.

-- Tep (icaneatglas...), November 18th, 2004 12:50 PM.

hockey family (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 18 November 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha Luna I was going to post that one of Jeannes :D

Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 November 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

so noted. and now that you mention it, the last time i was on long island we stopped at a convenience store that was selling cheeseburgers rolled into the shape of hot dogs. which suggests both (a) a sub-hamtons income level, and (b) a pretty good reason to be using heroin.
-- fact checking cuz (factcheckingcu...), November 19th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 19 November 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

You have to start somewhere.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 19th, 2004 5:12 PM.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

to go nowhere
-- Freelance Hiveminder (stevem7...), November 19th, 2004 5:14 PM

Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 19 November 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Creepy Christian music reviews thread on ILM:

ANAL CUNT
'It Just Gets Worse'
PRO-SOCIAL CONTENT: "Eazy E Got Aids from F. Mercury" warns of the dangers of irresponsible sexual behavior. Pro-life sentiments include "I Snuck a Retard Into the Sperm Bank" and "You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You in the Stomach", the latter promoting alternatives to clinical abortion, as does "I Lit Your Baby on Fire". "I Became a Counsellor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked For It" extols a career choice involving helping others. The biblical message of forgiveness appears in "I Sent A Thank You Card to the Guy That Raped You", "Deadbeat Dads Are Cool" and "Hitler Was a Sensitive Man". Those unclear on the concept of 'subjection' in marriage are directed to "I Convinced You to Beat Your Wife on a Daily Basis" and "Domestic Violence Is Really Really Funny".

OBJECTIONABLE CONTENT: "I Ate Your Horse" is in violation of Chapter 11 of Leviticus.

SUMMARY ADVISORY: Anal Cunt may flout dietary laws, but as their orificial name indicates, they are the 'hole'-iest of the holy.

-- dave q (scrape10...), November 19th, 2004 7:02 AM. (listerine) (later)

M1chael Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ann0yman (Ferg), Friday, 19 November 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

957 was an incredible time for pop music, with Wilf The Idiot of Flax Bourton fashioning a primitive lute, his guerilla gigs in local enchanted glades causing scores of chastity-intact maidens to suddenly come over all funny.

-- Squire Paul Of The Moore Ley (stevem7...) (webmail), November 19th, 2004 5:05 AM. (blueski) (link)

Kenan (kenan), Friday, 19 November 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

[from "what does it mean to do windows"]

It means to clean windows, literally. It's a metaphor for anything that you don't consider part of your job description.
-- Kenan (fluxion2...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh. Ok.
-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never knew that, either!
-- Sanjay McDougal (jmcunnin...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's transparently obvious.
-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), November 19th, 2004.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 19 November 2004 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has made me want to grill up some burgers tonight.
I bet placenta could be good if you ground it up and threw it in some chili, maybe add some allspice to the usual gang of chili seasonings or a little extra black pepper. Is there any part of having a baby that looks like sauerkraut and mustard? Also do they wrap the baby in aluminum foil and toss it in a plastic bag and say "see you monday?" God, now every time I buy a hot dog I am going to be thinking about obstetrics or whatever it's called. Shit.
-- TOMBOT (half.AT.smoke.1.50), November 19th, 2004 3:14 PM.

especially that part

nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 19 November 2004 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

#59
STING - TEN SUMMONER'S TALES (406 points, 28 ballots)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000005IL1.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

"possibly the funkiest record ever recorded" - Alex in NYC


-- PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYCHE (om...), November 19th, 2004 2:52 PM. (James Blount) (link)

Sanjay McDougal (jaymc), Friday, 19 November 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

HERE IS WHERE WE ANTICIPATE ALEXANDER

Kenan (kenan), Friday, 19 November 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Stone said he had no interest in showing gay sex scenes.
HE SHOWED ME JOE PESCI, GARY OLDMAN, TOMMY LEE JONES AND KEVIN BACON HAVING A COSTUME BALL COKE-CRAZY SEX ROMP. HE'S SHOWN ME BOB HOSKINS AND RICKY FROM MY SO-CALLED LIFE ENGAGING IN SUGGESTIVE FOODPLAY. Now he's subtle, wtf.

-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahahah.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dammit, so does this mean I have to hire a legal team to protect my pending film release of The Time Jesus And His Apostles Really Got To Know Each Other?
Take, eat. This is my body.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah, so that was The Last Temptation of Christ.
-- jocelyn (nalra...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His rod and his staff, they comforted him.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 19th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 19 November 2004 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Excerpted:

"The Dance" is an old song (and far from Garth's best dance song, much less Garth's best song period), though the thought of him doing a World Trade Center Dance is indeed quite intriguing; it could easily be combined with Elephant Man's Signal Di Plane dance!

-- chuck (chuc...) (webmail), November 19th, 2004 5:42 PM. (tracklink) (later) (link)

MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Friday, 19 November 2004 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

oldie but goodie:


I've been away from home for two weeks and it presently seems to me like pretty much all songs are about cunnilingus
-- J0hn Darn1elle

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 19 November 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe with Fox News here more Canadians can see for themselves what some American really think of us and our beliefs/values. Specifically Canuks that blindly rush to defend the Yanks as our bestest friends ever.
-- Thermo Thinwall

You're... you're not my friends?
-- Casuistry

Sure, sure we are.
We've just been hanging around with Mexico a little bit more lately -that's all!
-- Thermo Thinwall

Sowing your wild oats, eh? We have all dallied there, I suppose.
-- Casuistry

Also, there was that night we made out with Belgium.
-- Huk-L

Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Saturday, 20 November 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I was thinking about posting that John D one myself!

miccio (miccio), Saturday, 20 November 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

hey I thought the plot to seed of chucky was that chucky had a gay son who rejected his evil ways!

-- teeny (teen...), November 15th, 2004.

no, he has a gay daughter who manages his campaign

-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 15th, 2004.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 20 November 2004 07:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(I mean, I'm not helping things because I went to go see "Garden State" (which, BTW, was AWESOME) at the budget theatre but FOR FUCK'S SAKE PEOPLE A D-MOVIE ABOUT JENNIFER TILLY GETTING FUCKED BY A HOMICIDAL DOLL IS MORE APPEALING THAN A MOVIE ABOUT RAY CHARLES????????????)
-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), November 15th, 2004.

Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 20 November 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Woke up sick as a dog with flu-like symptoms (two hours early because of phone call from prominent local artist asking me to drop off issues at her studio, I'm like no, sorry, find it yourself, it's all over the place), find a zit, leave it alone, eat two spoons of yogurt and drink some green tea, nearly puke, smoke 3 cigarettes in an hour, even though I'm sick, get to class early but I'm like FUCK I forgot to staple my essay, so I run, wheezing, to, ahem, STAPLES across from my apt, where I borrow a STAPLER from the counter girl who I completely sketch out with my sketchiness, I'm like fuck it I am not walking back to class so I drive the 2 blocks to Arts building while blasting SHADOWPLAY till the entire campus radius is getting hella creeped out, get snaked for two parking spots by two hongers in BMW and Porsche Carrera S, panic and say fuckit and just park in a handicap spot after cursing one of the hongers out as he walked past ("yeah just shut up buddy, yeah sure your BUDDY was saving it for you, if you want ill get out of the car, yeah, okay, BYE), end up in class 10 mins late, immediately shoved into discussion group, paranoid about my zit, coughing and mumbling some brilliant contributons entire group ignores, sweating sweating from fever, find my car UNTICKETED yay, write off the rest of the day, pop an imovane and sleep until midnight, turns out I missed my homie WonTon offering up 90$ banquet tickets for free, missed mini-dunst's fundraiser party (which I PROMISED I'd be at but it's probably better that I don't see her when she's looking really good and I look like deathshit warmed up), forgot to leave album-for-review for writer at office so now I have to write it myself, tried to watch ELEPHANT and my ADD kicked in so bad I just cranked a Big L album over it, currently considering mashing up half an imovane and just railing the fucker to get back to sleep QUICK.

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), November 20th, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 20 November 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

deathshit?

don't blame me, i voted for buford pusser (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 20 November 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suede are the Godfathers of hiphop, sort of.
Their first singles inspired Damon Albarn to take Blur in a similar retro/Britishness direction. The rest is history.
I think it was quite convincingly argued though in the singles thread that there are two distinct versions of Britpop, where one has these oh-so-very-British lyrical themes, and musical allusions to everything from the Kinks to Madness to Squeeze to the Smiths (examples: Blur, Pulp, the indie side of St Etienne). The other having no particular lyrical themes other than love and champagne supernovars, and harking back musically in an irritatingly worship-y way to the Beatles, and the Beatles alone (ex: Oasis, Cast, Ocean Colour Scene).
Where Suede are in this bifurcation, i do not know.

-- Koens (atruegeniu...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Godfathers of Britpop, not hiphop obv
-- Koens (atruegeniu...), November 19th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Though that would be a cool stance to take and try to defend.
-- Koens (atregeniu...), November 19th, 2004.


Al (sitcom), Saturday, 20 November 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I'm looking forward to that turning up in interviews - "Someone once described you as the Godfathers of Hiphip - Do you feel that's accurate?"

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Saturday, 20 November 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

haha of HIPHIP?

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 20 November 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

the typos keep piling up!

s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 20 November 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Now THAT would be an interesting stance to defend.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 20 November 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I had to stand up in court once and say that a C90 with a copy of Motown Dance Classics, which I had never bought, belonged to me. It was found in my thief's girlfriend's bedroom.
The policeman expressed it nicely. "I have here a Motown Dance Classics tape, marked Alan. Alan, is this yours?".

As I said "yes", it flashed through my mind that the whole thing might be Berry Gordy's set-up to catch me for the pirated album.

But in fact it was the piece of evidence that nailed the thief, Narvinder Baines.

He had stolen 250 of my records, but they didn't find them, only the Motown tape. They made him pay me back in instalments of 25p, but then he stopped writing the cheques and they said they couldn't be bothered chasing him.

All my parents' singles were in those gone. Years later, two of my '80s singles turned up in Oxfam. Not the ones I wanted.

not laughing at the misfortune, but just the *bizarreness*

stevie (stevie), Saturday, 20 November 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

and that was by ACME,,, sorry! x

stevie (stevie), Saturday, 20 November 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder what hiphip would be? Also, I need to stop typing with a mannequin's arm instead of my own.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Saturday, 20 November 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Your own mannequin arm?

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 20 November 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

how does thelma & louise have a happy ending?!?

-- amateur!!st (-...), November 20th, 2004 1:33 PM. (later)

after the credits the car turns into a rocketship

-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 20th, 2004 1:35 PM. (slutsky) (later)

todd swiss (eliti), Saturday, 20 November 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Does anyone know where I can view the source code for the ILX forum software?
-- Dante, Der Führer (dant...) (webmail), November 20th, 2004 7:48 PM. (Sean3) (later) (link)

It's somewhere inside this person. Try from behind.
-- donut christ (do...) (webmail), November 20th, 2004 8:01 PM. (donut) (later) (link)

Laura H. (laurah), Sunday, 21 November 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

in joke:

You are all making me hungry.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 20th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.
-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), November 20th, 2004.


bulbs (bulbs), Sunday, 21 November 2004 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Somebody should do trashy house music covers of UK punk and American hardcore songs!
-- Drew Daniel (mces...), November 20th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 21 November 2004 05:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Old but somehow apt:

And yes, Kate, if people are going to start attacking me, then I will attack back double, triple. That's life. Get one.

-- Alison Houston (millerscaf...), July 1st, 2002.


Is this Calum's legendary girlfriend?

-- Andrew L (andrewlittlefiel...), July 1st, 2002.


As if I would sleep with a Sleeper fan!

-- Alison Houston (millersba...), July 1st, 2002.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 21 November 2004 06:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Joan Jett - icon, role model, great tunes, legend, but Suzi Quatro had a better ass.

-- tarden (scrape10...), June 5th, 2001 8:00 PM.

don't blame me, i voted for buford pusser (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 21 November 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Dudes, I got something similar and forwarded it to ebay's spoof-bustfin people and they said it was indeed phishing.

-- Ol' prune face (boyincorduro...), November 21st, 2004 2:02 AM. (Mark C)

If only I could prove that all such spam came from the four members of a band I didn't like much, thus the name of this activity.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), November 21st, 2004 2:03 AM. (Ned)

interpol?

-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 21st, 2004 7:34 AM. (slutsky)

i think that's what he meant

-- Does John Coltrane Dream of a Merry-go-round? (jonathan.william...), November 21st, 2004 7:43 AM. (ex machina)

Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 21 November 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

from the pickle bar:

Your Favorite Song Youth Songs -- Rediscovered

the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 22 November 2004 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Baha! Song Youth. Love it.

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 22 November 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I love you all. IN the biblical sense. As often as possible.
(well a girl can dream)

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), November 22nd, 2004 12:36 PM. (trayce)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that is hot
-- Riot Gear! (speed.to.roa...), November 22nd, 2004 12:40 PM. (Gear!)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't like sluts.
-- RJG (RJ...), November 22nd, 2004 12:43 PM. (RJG)

Trayce (trayce), Monday, 22 November 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

exclamation - "make a statement without saying a word." it's still around, i think, at drugstores.

I bought it for an ex. She hated it.

-- Daffyd, the only gay in the village, November 22nd, 2004 3:10 PM.

-------------------------

Well that was like the perfume equivalent of giving her a bottle of "DUDE!!!!!!" so yeah, not suprised ;)

-- Trayce, November 22nd, 2004 3:50 PM.

Daffyd, the only gay in the village (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 22 November 2004 04:52 (twenty-one years ago)

my girl and i
http://www.flickr.com/photos/659701_1075d3c19b_m.jpg

-- Yanc3y

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you get botox?
-- n/a

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That came off ruder than intended. It's just a funny pic because your face has like no contrast or marks or anything, just kind of flat-looking.
-- n/a

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nevermind. I think this General Foods French Vanilla Cafe is doing something to my brain.
-- n/a

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is it reminding you of that one waiter in that cafe in Paris...JEAN LUC!?!
-- nickalicious

stevie (stevie), Monday, 22 November 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i left santa a glass of jack daniels instead of milk when i was about six or seven, so i think i had figured out it was my parents pretty early on.
-- lauren (warmleatherett...), November 22nd, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 November 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

before you explain how the happy mondays are good DID YOU BRING ENOUGH DRUGS FOR THE WHOLE CLASS???
-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), November 20th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WE HAVE FOUND COMMON GROUND ANTHONY
-- Does John Coltrane Dream of a Merry-go-round? (jonathan.william...), November 20th, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 November 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v472/birdnestsoup/Bill.jpg

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 November 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

LOOK INTO MY EYES AND BE SURPRISED, ADULT PERSON

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 22 November 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Vice Versa 2: Bigger Eyes, Smaller Brain.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 22 November 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

recommended, highly: the king vidor version of 'la boheme' with lillian gish

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...) (webmail), March 20th, 2004 11:10 PM. (amateurist) (link)

KING VIDOR I LOVE YOU CAN I BE IN ONE OF YOUR MOVIES PLEAS!!

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...) (webmail), March 21st, 2004 12:03 AM. (slutsky) (link)

I AM DEAD SORRY

--KING VIDOR

-- amateur!st (amateur!s...) (webmail), March 21st, 2004 12:14 PM. (amateurist) (link)

cºzen (Cozen), Monday, 22 November 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

God, that nicka one just made me die.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I find it confusing when people call nickalicious "nicka" because my name is Nick A. But then if it's about someone being funny then I know they mean nickalicious. Not because I'm not funny, but because he's way funnier than me.

n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

You can be "knicker" if you lick?

Ol' prune face (Mark C), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I always call you n/a! It's like it's pre-abbreviated.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

LIKE

Ol' prune face (Mark C), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

WAZZUP MY NICKAS?!?!?!

miccio (miccio), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

TOO LATE MARK HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ok ok ok

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

nickalicious = teh nza

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 22 November 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

1. We intend to sing the love of danger, the habit of energy and fearlessness.
2. Courage, audacity, and revolt will be essential elements of our poetry.
3. Up to now literature has exalted a pensive immobility, ecstasy, and sleep. We intend to exalt aggresive action, a feverish insomnia, the racer�s stride, the mortal leap, the punch and the slap.
7. Except in struggle, there is no more beauty. No work without an aggressive character can be a masterpiece. Poetry must be conceived as a violent attack on unknown forces, to reduce and prostrate them before man.
8. We stand on the last promontory of the centuries!... Why should we look back, when what we want is to break down the mysterious doors of the Impossible? Time and Space died yesterday. We already live in the absolute, because we have created eternal, omnipresent speed.
9. We will glorify war�the world�s only hygiene�militarism, patriotism, the destructive gesture of freedom-bringers, beautiful ideas worth dying for, and scorn for woman.
10. We will destroy the museums, libraries, academies of every kind, will fight moralism, feminism, every opportunistic or utilitarian cowardice.
-- Does John Coltrane Dream of a Merry-go-round?

11. No smoking
-- Bernard the Butler

g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 22 November 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://dubyamovie.com/

latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 22 November 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Amateurist = REAM US A TIT

-- Prude ()@() (webmail), August 19th, 2003. (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 November 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

what in the sam hell

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 22 November 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I stumbled across a really wonderful anagrams thread.

In other LOL news:

seriously, I ain't showing unless we throw somebody in a volcano.

-- TOMBOT (whowants @ LAVA.PANTS) (webmail), November 22nd, 2004. (later) (link)

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 22 November 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

on jimmy sommerville's duets with that chick with the bad hat heck if i knew who was who.
-- john'n'chicago (econjoh...)

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ganja is great for lonermusicshitheadsynthplayinsoftboiledegg eatincockblockinscientists like myself. id be on 12colors of prozac without it.maybe. but it gets harder every year. right? & i hate the weedvsbeer deabate and everyone is one something anyways, even your mom and god and the president.

-- ke[hm (ke[h...) (webmail), November 23rd, 2004 8:43 PM. (kephm) (later) (link)

10) You can put it in (and get its effects, obv) anything that requires butter.

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), November 23rd, 2004 8:45 PM. (Oops) (later) (link)

especially the president!

-- stockholm cindy (theundergroundhom...) (webmail), November 23rd, 2004 8:45 PM. (Jody Beth Rosen) (later) (link)

haha XPOST

-- stockholm cindy

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Goddammit oops you beat me.

To it, i mean.

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Amateurist = REAM US A TIT

-- Prude ()@() (webmail), August 19th, 2003. (link)

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), November 22nd, 2004.

is that synecdoche?

amateur!!st, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

it's skinnecktitty.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

This isn't even original content... but it's funny!

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."

-Mel Brooks, on the crucial difference between comedy & tragedy.

-- kingfish (jdsalmo...) (webmail), November 23rd, 2004 11:38 PM. (Kingfish) (link)

Kenan (kenan), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

that's genius.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 05:59 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, that nickalicious thing upthread.. the jean-luc thing

what the fuck is that from? it is killing me!

todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a popular series of television commercials in the late eighties/early nineties.

Sanjay McDougal (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

(For General Foods International Coffee.)

Sanjay McDougal (jaymc), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yes, i remember now

i was hoping that it was something more exciting haha

todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

It's from that porno you stole from your uncle's bedroom that one time.

Kenan (kenan), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

the nickalicious thing is from roger's thread about the photo of him in the tux with his wife

stevie (stevie), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Which turned into a porno.

Meanwhile:

is that synecdoche?

-- amateur!!st (-...), November 23rd, 2004. (later)

it's skinnecktitty.

-- stockholm cindy (theundergroundhom...), November 23rd, 2004. (later)

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH. (I'm one of a small handful of people who get the joke, I figure. Kate to thread!)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

thank you for getting that.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I was and remain baffled by that place. General Electric doesn't mind it, obv.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

but you forgot the essential "ream us a tit" part.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Failure is the reminder to us that we must succeed in turn.

(Perhaps I should not smoke old rope while at work.)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.pgmedia.com/web/a11.jpg

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I imagine a pack of Gandalfs raising havoc in Niskayuna.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.fantasticfictionimages.co.uk/images/c1/c6200.jpg

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I live near skinnecktitty. It's disgusting!

caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahah, how had I never heard of that Longyear thing before now!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

When my best friend's dad died, he left behind a bottle of cheap scotch, which we emptied a year later in memory. Can't remember the brand -- it might actually have been "Old MacDonald's" -- but the label proudly bore the designation "Schenectady's Finest".

briania (briania), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Schenectady should be on the list of inherently funny words, on the comedy timing thread.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Pfft. Oh dear dear dear.

Time, I think, for an actual Schenectady thread.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

what are some other inherently funny city/town names? i think dubuque qualifies.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

weehawken. cucamonga.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Schenectady!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

From the Wikipedia!

Factoids

Schenectady is the current home of the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame but rumor has it that the Hall will be moving soon to Saratoga instead.

I didn't know this! Saratoga is where my parents live (I am here right now). I should go to the professional rasslin hall of fame while I'm home.

caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

YONKERS

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Not yet a city in New York, but maybe someday: Pataki!

briania (briania), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

A bit cruel, but:

On behalf on myself and many other card carrying members of the NRA, I'd like to just say: what an irresponsible assbandit.
-- Roger Fidelity (blindjimdeat...), November 23rd, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

have you ever shot yourself?
-- RJG (RJ...), November 23rd, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

nope
-- Roger Fidelity (blindjimdeat...), November 23rd, 2004. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ever thought of trying it?
-- RJG (RJ...), November 23rd, 2004. (later)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahahaha oh my

todd swiss (eliti), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

rjg just went to the top of my fucking ilxors list.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Good grief, it's good to come home to praise, albeit overpraise, especially on a day when I have been hugely miserable, having pissed off the person I care most about. Thank you DV, Roxy and Ned.
-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), November 23rd, 2004.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's okay, Martin, I'm not really mad. Oh, wait...
-- I Am Curious (George) (crumpw@bellsouth.net), November 23rd, 2004.

(from the ILX love-in)

DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know if this has already been featured in one of these threads.

I don't think yer ready for this jelly!

-- Sarah McLUsky (x77tigersxu...), March 4th, 2003.

OhShit, Tuesday, 23 November 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

DISKO ISLAND!???!!!

-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 23rd, 2004. (slutsky) (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

is that where we go when we die?

-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 23rd, 2004. (slutsky) (later)

tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

my favorite funny name of upstate NY towns has to be COXSACKIE

tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 20:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Though Nicholas Cage as Rorschach might work.

Custos you are the biggest fucking idiot that ever breathed. Your brain is a dessicated roll of amoeba-ridden horse dung. A retarded fruit fly on life support is capable of more productive mental activity than you will ever be.

-- TOMBOT (go...), November 23rd, 2004

Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 21:00 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, it's nicolas cage.

RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

wow. hilarous.

oops (Oops), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I keep it so real it's not even funny.
-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 23rd, 2004 8:13 PM.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll second that.
-- I'm serious ... Ti-i-i-i-im (power.strik...), November 23rd, 2004

Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 23 November 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha

mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

to this day i cannot read or speak "synecdoche" without thinking of the town.

amateur!!st, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.fdj.org/akbauer/interviews/thoth/backyard.JPG

latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"the goth lawn care specialists"

amateur!1st, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Wooo
-- F. Healy (jumper...), November 17th, 2004 6:03 AM.

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

dammit, it clipped the email address off, that was half the funny!

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan and Ned on 1000 reasons why LIFE is the best drug ever!

youn, Wednesday, 24 November 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously though, fuck animals
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), November 24th, 2004 1:38 AM. (latebloomer) (later)

M1chael Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ph1lip Ann0yman (Ferg), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

this made me spit red wine thru my nose

Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Nicole beat me with that dean one

Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck i'm depressed today.
although: overheard conversation on a train (actually the whole carriage heard it)

first guy: who the fuck wants to go to a xmas party at your boss's house.

second guy: not fucking me mate.

first guy: they'll all be drinking fucking crown lager. or cas-fucking-cade.

second guy: o fuck no mate, no way.

first guy: and eating fucking oysters and shit.

second guy: fuck that. if there isn't vb there I'm not fucking going

first guy: you got buckleys of that mate. besides that they'd all be talking shit and you'd be standing there alone fucking wishing you weren't there

second guy: i'm not fucking going.


-- bulbs (fan...) (webmail), November 24th, 2004. (bulbs)

the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

see, i wouldn't want to go either though

bulbs (bulbs), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll have you fucking oysters and Cas-fucking-cade then mate.

the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I object! You cannot get me to fuck an oyster unless i want to!

bulbs (bulbs), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Who needs an artifical pussy when you can have an oyster? Hmmm I am Calum.

the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

All ph34r Colin Robert Waddell.

B.A.R.M.S., Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, adam. You smartass!
-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 24th, 2004 3:25 PM.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm YOUNG and miserable.
-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 24th, 2004 3:25 PM.

g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO ELSE HAVE I FORGOTTEN TO COMPLIMENT? OH, SANJAY -- LOOOKIN' FIIIIIIIINE TO-NIGHT! You are gonna get WATERFALLS of Pussy this T-DAY!
-- jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams!

oops (Oops), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Early ILM was a gigantic game of soggy biscuit where 69 Love Songs was the biscuit.
-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), November 23rd, 2004 11:34 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Byotches with a little bit of brains are a lot more stupid than byotches with no brains at all.
-- borne loose (kikide...), November 24th, 2004 6:20 PM.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unread Messages
how does that follow?
-- weasel diesel (kilian(dot)murphy24@mail.dcu.ie), November 24th, 2004 6:22 PM.


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Xpost
You're spelling it wrong. It's "beeyotches".
-- Nowell (noelcollin...), November 24th, 2004 6:22 PM

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

spoof iceblocks, hmmm. What would they be called? How about:
Frostman - the secret man you keep in the freezer. Women could be shown sneaking off with that 'oooh, naughty me' expression they always have in ads when eating icecream.

-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), November 24th, 2004 10:15 AM. (colin s barrow)


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manblocks?
-- the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound@hotmail.com), November 24th, 2004 10:15 AM. (electricsound)


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cumcuber?
-- the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound@hotmail.com), November 24th, 2004 10:16 AM. (electricsound)

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 24 November 2004 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I really don't think writers should ever be called "scribes" unless they're sitting in the desert writing the New Testament.

"And on the 73rd day, the children of Israel heard The Unicorns, and lo, it was proclaimed that they were alright if you like that sort of thing."

-- William Bloody Swygart (thingummy9...), November 24th, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 25 November 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

and where do we stand (not literally of course) on kids being made to sit at the table until they've finished their dinner?
-- Porkpie (porkypi...), November 25th, 2004 5:21 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh thats fine as long as they're not in a chair covered with spikes and scorpions.
-- Bernard the Butler (pau...), November 25th, 2004 5:22 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 25 November 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Bono XIV, the Sun Bono
-- gabbneb (gabbne...), November 23rd, 2004.

latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 26 November 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

From in the new Vice they interview these two little girls that do folk versions of nazi punk songs. C or D

where's momus?

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), November 26th, 2004. (llamasfur)


whacking off.

-- Ian John50n (dr.carl.saga...), November 26th, 2004. (orion)


over nude pixs of prussian blue?

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), November 26th, 2004. (llamasfur)


does it matter?

-- Ian John50n (dr.carl.saga...), November 26th, 2004. (orion)

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 26 November 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Kant's one of those writers who reads a lot better when you're drunk.
-- noodle vague (noodle_vagu...) (webmail), November 26th, 2004. (noodle vague)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y Tori Read Kant?
-- Trayce (spamspanke...) (webmail), November 26th, 2004. (trayce)

the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 26 November 2004 04:12 (twenty-one years ago)

uncle: "have you seen the latest citibank commercial?"
*silence*
uncle: "well, i tell you, it's GREAT!!"
aunt: "we have it on the computer at home and watch it every morning before we go to work and school."
*cousins giggling hysterically*
uncle: "basically, it's this dude on a treadmill and it stops working so he leans over to see what's wrong and then it starts again and his head slams right into the handle bars and he falls back and is pushed into the bar between the legs -- right between the legs he gets it!!! -- and then it goes in reverse and he's thrown off backwards into the wall behind him and then a bookcase falls on him! falls RIGHT ON HIM!!"
*uncle's entire family laughs hysterically"
uncle: "i sent it to Sis to make her feel better about her son almost dying in that crash and being in a wheelchair and everything but she hasn't written back yet."

-- j c (foreignfishe...), November 26th, 2004 10:50 PM. (j c) (later)

I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 26 November 2004 04:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Doh beat me to it :)

Trayce (trayce), Friday, 26 November 2004 04:53 (twenty-one years ago)

From Abstinence in the US.

it's going to be a long four years ...

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), November 26th, 2004.


Especially if we're all abstaining!

-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), November 26th, 2004.

amateur!!st, Friday, 26 November 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

from my aunt: "What were the toilets like in england? did you have to shit in a hole?"

-- jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (mandeewrigh...), November 26th, 2004. (later)

sgs (sgs), Friday, 26 November 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)


There was an old lady of 92
Parlez-vous
There was an old lady of 92
Parlez-vous
There was an old lady of 92
Did a fart that missed the loo
Inky pinky parlez-vous

The fart went rolling down the street...
Knocked a copper off his feet

The copper got out his trusty pistol...
Shot the fart from here to Bristol

Bristol Rovers playing at home...
Kicked the fart from here to Rome

Julius Caeser drinking gin...
Opened his mouth and the fart rolled in

The fart went rolling down his spine
Knocked his balls right out of line
Inky pinky parlez-vous

-- beanz (beanzil...), November 26th, 2004. (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

I guess the old lady of 92 was trying to do the fart in a non-western toilet.

-- beanz (beanzil...), November 26th, 2004. (later)

Haibun (Begs2Differ), Friday, 26 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

how much does the fleshlight cost?

-- phil-two (phil), November 12th, 2004.


$50

-- Hi, I am a genius. a big one. (aaronhz@), November 12th, 2004.


I'm gonna get the Nirvana box set instead, haha.

-- Hi, I am a genius. a big one. (aaronhz@), November 12th, 2004.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 27 November 2004 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

And I did. Not exactly fuckable, but the cover does change color like a hypercolor T-shirt.

It's hard to kill a horse with a flute (AaronHz), Saturday, 27 November 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's a Wonderful Life" is a great goddamn film, and you should be submerged in a giant mug of scalding mulled wine (with a touch of nutmeg) for thinking otherwise.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), November 27th, 2004 9:52 PM. (vassifer) (later) (link)

teeny (teeny), Saturday, 27 November 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, the touch of nutmeg makes it.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 27 November 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

the mulled wine did it for me

ken c (ken c), Saturday, 27 November 2004 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Will there be any goth music? I'm, er, asking for a friend.
-- MikeyG (...), November 25th, 2004 5:33 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's another Goth going! Not sure what starry's planning on playing, and she's left work now
-- Vicky (missvick...), November 25th, 2004 5:34 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Come on Vic, stick some Southern Death Cult on. Uninteligible vocals + Native American imagery = full dancefloor of pop kids
-- MikeyG (...), November 25th, 2004 5:37 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh dear, i appear to have left it at home. How about some sugababes?
-- Vicky (missvick...), November 25th, 2004 5:42 PM. (later)


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Did you say Ghost Dance?
-- MikeyG (...), November 25th, 2004 5:44 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can play a ride song for you if you like?
-- Vicky (missvick...), November 25th, 2004 5:45 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd rather chisel my knob off.
-- MikeyG (...), November 25th, 2004 5:47 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok, I'll not play ride, just for you. I wasn't going to play it anyway.
-- Vicky (missvick...), November 25th, 2004 5:49 PM. (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Too late, blood everywhere.
-- MikeyG (...), November 25th, 2004 5:50 PM. (later)

Matt DC (Matt DC), Saturday, 27 November 2004 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

on buffy:

the dialogue is very cleverly written to annoy ppl with surprisingly tiny penises
-- mark s (mar...) (webmail), March 18th, 2003 2:04 PM. (mark s) (link)

cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 27 November 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

From Geir's ILM thread about 1983 (which became another "name your favorite songs from..."):

Talking Heads - "Burning Down The House"
Herbie Hancock - "Rockit"
Topps - Wade Boggs Rookie Card

-- jack est moi (jackgi...) (webmail), November 27th, 2004 4:31 PM. (later) (link)

MC Transmaniacon (natepatrin), Saturday, 27 November 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

TEEH HEADCOATEES
-- Riot Gear! (speed.to.roa...), November 27th, 2004. (Gear!) (later) (link)

nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 27 November 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahahah argh

teeny (teeny), Saturday, 27 November 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

But seeing as how this thread title includes the words "prepared correctly" it seems only fair to point out that microwaving potatoes is WRONGER THAN NAZIS.

-- Matt (Mat...), November 28th, 2004 9:49 PM. (Matt) (later)

I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 28 November 2004 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I had an affair with a guy who liked erotic asphxysiation.
Whatever.

-- aimurchie (kpcollin...), November 28th, 2004 3:23 AM. (later) (link)

Did he leave you because he felt suffocated?

-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), November 28th, 2004 3:28 AM.

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 November 2004 08:34 (twenty-one years ago)

BOOM BOOM!

Basil Brush (mark grout), Sunday, 28 November 2004 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I do like that

Matt (Matt), Sunday, 28 November 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

The joke, that is, not the erotic asphyxiation

Matt (Matt), Sunday, 28 November 2004 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

You might kike it if I put my leather gloves on.

aimurchie, Sunday, 28 November 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Like not kike. Or whatever.

aimurchie, Sunday, 28 November 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

So- I was just sorta doing a lookey-loo and saw that i was quoted. Now I'm posting.
The famous r& b song "Ride Around Sally" always makes me think of the first woman who went to outer space - Sally Ride.
Otherwise, i'm fine.

aimurchie, Sunday, 28 November 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

From the Copyeditors and Grammar Fiends thread (this is a whole lot funnier in context):

just include a picture of a german woman with subtitle "him" and youre sorted
-- mark p (m*****...), July 17th, 2003 9:39 AM. (Mark P)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 28 November 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

She probably expected that her joke would inevitably lead to a long chase involving a woman in a bikini and a man in a gorilla suit or whatever passes for humor in Britain.
-- dean! (dea...), January 21st, 2004 2:00 PM. (deangulberry) (later)

(This was already posted on a previous LOL thread but it deserves a revival)

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 28 November 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

A classic from donut christ:

I heard you can keep a human brain alive by soaking it in Windex.

-- Brian MacDonald (brian...), November 18th, 2001.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 November 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there no new Excelsior thread because people are intimidated by the high level of punnery??

Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 29 November 2004 07:06 (twenty-one years ago)

(They just like seeing my Basil Brush startoff)

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 29 November 2004 08:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Continued here:

EXCELSIOR, it'll pass you by, in the wink of a young girl's LOL

Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Monday, 29 November 2004 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf this thread isn't that long at all, why start a new one?

Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Monday, 29 November 2004 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)

hopefully the new thread will have more of me in it.. i never get excelsiored nowadays :(

ken c (ken c), Monday, 29 November 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

try funny more

Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Monday, 29 November 2004 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i will.. but what does that have to do with excelsioring?

ken c (ken c), Monday, 29 November 2004 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm going to try touches of nutmeg more

ken c (ken c), Monday, 29 November 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

you don't want a pity excelsior do ya ken?

Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 29 November 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

He'll take your loose change if you've got any.

B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 29 November 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Flying suqirrels are quite rare as well. There's a joke about environmentalists carrying flying squirrel droppings in their pockets and placing them in the forests they don't want to get chopped down, because flying squirrel is an endangered species, and finding it's shit in the forest is a good enough reason to preserve the area.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...) (webmail), November 29th, 2004 2:20 PM. (Tuomas) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


AND THAT'S A JOKE IN FINLAND? Good fucking god.

-- Sick Mouthy (sickmouth...) (webmail), November 29th, 2004 2:24 PM. (Nick Southall) (later)

Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 29 November 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
I used to like my bloody valentine...now i cant listen to them without picture'n some long hair in SO CAL talking like he is trap'd in a Lewis Caroll book.
-- ddb (stupidpum...), January 27th, 2005 11:42 AM.

Reviewer: Sir Potomus (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews (ex machina), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)


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