Dracula comes from Transylvania, Stevie Nicks books about kleptomaina, Johnny LOL'ed out his bedroom window And shouted to his Mum........EXCELSIOR!!

adam, yeah, it's all good fun but um FUCK YOU brit, i ain't talking about your fucking precious dancey-pants garbage this time. the least you could do is not fuck up my thread with some stupid shit. I thought you were an Amerophile like your boy gareth anywat

-- Stormy Davis (electrifyingmoj...), September 2nd, 2005 5:42 AM.

Gear: "I?ve seen things you people wouldn't believe. Analin' hipsters all wired on the cushions of my couch. I watched midgets glitter in the dark near my old desk job. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. And thank god, I don't want to think about them any more."

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), September 2nd, 2005 10:36 AM. (later)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

latebloomer, you are a gentleman and a scholar
-- JD from CDepot (kicksjoydarknes...)

AGH! Those fucking anal-headed hipsters!

Somebody post pictures of Woodstock III, please.
that was one of the first things i thought of too. agonizing heat, rioting, fires, lack of drinking water, girls being raped...

-- renegade bus (theundergroundhom...), September 2nd, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maybe fred durst should be brought in as an advisor.
-- renegade bus (theundergroundhom...), September 2nd, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, and because of some crappy music fest. Being miserable and about to die vs. watching DMB
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), September 2nd, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maybe a bad example
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), September 2nd, 2005.

-- 3 (...), August 30th, 2005 10:57 PM.

i used to take one paperclip every day, straighten it out, put it in a transit envelope and send it to him in the internal mail along with a message saying: "THE MANGLER STRIKES AGAIN".

he never worked out who was doing it.

christ, i hated that job.

-- grimly fiendish (simonmai...), September 2nd, 2005.

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), September 4th, 2005 12:40 PM. (latebloomer) (later)

I WUZ VRY CLIVUR 2 GIV ME A TELY
-- Onimo (gerry.wat...), September 2nd, 2005 2:01 PM. (GerryNemo) (later)

just made red wine come out of my nose.

According to Wikipedia, the serial comma is also known as the "Harvard comma" and the "Oxford comma." That should tell you something right there. I mean, if it were known as the "Gun and VCR Repair Correspondence School Comma" I might feel differently.

-- pullapartgirl (rabbitrabbi...), September 6th, 2005 7:53 AM. (pullapartgirl) (later) (link)

-- don weiner (dandydonweine...), September 6th, 2005.

Did you just say that about your own post? No wonder you only show up on political threads - I was discussing this the other day on FilePile, how some dudes lurk on largely lib-thinking boards and surface only for this kinda shit to 'spice it up' - I THINK I remember you participating in a regular thread about a regular topic somewhere sometime but I recall it coming out really unnaturally, like Small Wonder having sex. You shouldn't ever refer to yourself as a 'needed dose' of anything. It sounds like you're a male spa in its own TV ad.

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 7th, 2005 8:05 AM. (later)

-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), September 3rd, 2005 5:17 AM. (later)

my new favorite band: HEP C RED PANDA

-- President Busch (dr_...), September 3rd, 2005 5:18 AM. (later)

onward noise bestiary

-- Sébastien Chikara (sebastie...), September 3rd, 2005 5:29 AM. (later)

Cholera Bear

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), September 3rd, 2005 6:45 AM. (later)

Chlamydia Lion
Influenza Kitten

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), September 3rd, 2005 6:48 AM. (later)

Gonorrhea Goat

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), September 3rd, 2005 6:48 AM. (later)

SARS Racoon

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), September 3rd, 2005 6:49 AM. (later)

Tuberculosis Turtle

-- latebloomer (posercore24...), September 3rd, 2005 6:51 AM. (later)

Le Tigre

-- amon (...), September 3rd, 2005 6:55 AM. (later)

-- Kate B (sooodastrea...), September 6th, 2005. (kate b) (later)

poor old baw baw
-- RJG (RJ...), September 6th, 2005. (RJG) (later)

-- RJG (RJ...), September 7th, 2005.

marketed to parents, not paedophiles

-- RJG (RJ...), September 7th, 2005.

$0, $0 G4NG$tErrr

-- mark s (mar...), March 24th, 2005

use post-it notes either side!

-- ken c (pykachu10...), March 24th, 2005

NO!! it is too swank for that

-- mark s (mar...), March 24th, 2005.

it is like being in space

-- mark s (mar...), March 24th, 2005.

also i wd panic that the wind had swapped the post-it notes over

-- mark s (mar...), March 24th, 2005.

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 7th, 2005 9:33 PM. (LeCoq) (later)

(hahah ahh, LC you is all class)

one of the most overrated books of the 1760s.

I read this 'novel' during an English Literature course. A disappointment as David Hockney had bigged it up so much a few years earlier.

-- Bob Six (bobbysixe...), September 7th, 2005.

0 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
Funny and Great...as usaul!, June 2, 2004
Reviewer: A music fan
Even tho I haven't brought this yet. I can tell it's gonna be great-just-wait-or-is-it-too-little, too late...never mind. I'm buying this CD partly because of, If I Had $1000000. I love that song! It makes me laugh everytime! Ciao 4 now!
Was this review helpful to you? YesNo (Report this)

-- renegade bus (theundergroundhom...), September 7th, 2005.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), September 7th, 2005.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 7th, 2005 5:49 PM. (Dan Perry) (later)

Well, not in the Laura Bush sense.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...), September 7th, 2005 5:51 PM. (Pleasant Plains ///) (later)

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 8th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry, that's actually from that language Sigur Ros made up based on Star Trek
-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 8th, 2005. (later)

OK, I didn't ROTFL but I did cackle like a sick duck. Well done, Orbit!

but how many have I read?
-- cozen (skiplevel...), September 8th, 2005 8:23 AM. (Cozen)

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), September 8th, 2005. (link)

I was impressed with the "big" word you used-----unadulterated. Making progress aren't we???

-- d jones (drewjone...), September 8th, 2005.

"Sometimes, when I rub my pee-pee, I make cream!"

-- d jones (djperr...), September 8th, 2005.

-- President Busch (dr_...), September 8th, 2005.

I mean, should I get a cheesy "boys" car? What would that be? A Mitsubishi eclipse or something? Something tacky?
-- Spencer Chow

Sorry Spencer, I just the flounce you've got going there.

just cos i can see my dad saying it.

(is there not a joke somewhere in 'lloyd banks'?)

I will now make a 3" CD mini-mix of those songs and use a still of Charlotte Church and her big ballingos as the cover art.

-- Legroom at the Vista (fiestasandsiestas(nospam)@yahoo.com), September 8th, 2005. (Bent Over at the Arclight) (later)

-- vahid (vfoz...), September 8th, 2005 4:31 PM. (vahid)

*Not Safe for Work

(Sorry, I just coudn't get Rod Hull out of my mind there)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

happened a couple of times when i went out last night
is it true
one girl was doing it quite a bit but i didnt clock that she was pushing her hair back til after i left
-- um (u...), September 9th, 2005 9:42 AM.

Answers
'there'?
-- Barnaby (jackmalchanc...), September 9th, 2005 9:44 AM. (Barnaby)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"there" = "the vagina"
-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 9th, 2005 9:45 AM. (Dan Perry)

JB was much more conservative in every way than the funk artists that came after him

this is a good argument until one actually thinks about it, at which point it falls apart like well-cooked flesh...

-- The Obligatory Sourpuss (expresso222...), September 9th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aw.
-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 9th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[s1ocki check your email]
-- amateur!!st (-...), November 19th, 2004 8:54 PM. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha ew! i'm not going near my inbox now!
-- s1ocki (slytus...), November 19th, 2004 10:05 PM. (slutsky) (link)

why does this fucker not get roasted for mimicking southern american blues and country artists in his singing? its ingratiating.
-- keefkeefkeef (kee...), September 9th, 2005 2:36 PM. (later)

Yeah, I've heard that one before - but where?

Me too Marissa, me too.

-- ryansf (rya...), September 9th, 2005.

-- GUISEEPE (Bendove...), September 9th, 2005.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), September 10th, 2005. (vassifer) (later)

-- JJ Jugaloo

-- Hillary (ashton219...), September 11th, 2005.

i think its so cool that hilary duff is posting to this thread. shows shes down to earht and hsit.

-- amon (...), September 11th, 2005.

Who knows those groups ?

Fuck A Fresher Week
-- Dom Passantino (juror...), September 10th, 2005.

-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), September 5th, 2005 12:48 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes indeed, it did come out pretty suckful. Let's see if I can improve things in my drugged haze.
You know, one can adjust the settings so that it only opens the last few yards of posts on the thread, but I'm so fond of the picture of Sean Astin. I have to see it EVERY TIME.
-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), September 5th, 2005 12:52 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), September 5th, 2005 1:00 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drugs so rule! Can you see that?
I thank you all for your patience while I use you as guinea pigs in my attempts to become ILE-savvy. Perhaps these hard-won skills will have other applications in my life.
-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), September 5th, 2005 1:03 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I have to go melt into my mattress. Welcome back Maria—it's good you were there to keep your relations from being run over! I tried to "drag Scott and Rufus to the beach, but Scott was too busy rolling up his change. Rufus had fun with my tank sprayer, though. You're not gonna have any deer in your driveway!
Minions is all better, Donald's giving it the final proofing tonight. Lord knows, I can't. Even if I wasn't in a drugged stupor, I've looked at it so much I can't see it anymore.
-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), September 5th, 2005 1:15 PM."

ROFFLE!

Other things to do on a typical Vermont day include:
cow-tipping ( Summer only - ask a local )
Thawing frozen water pipes ( 3 seasons )
Installing a new car battery as the friggin' old one shit the bed.
Shopping for Subarus
Christmas in July ( Too F'n cold in Dec. )
Cow Bingo: At summer, we draw out squres on a plot and guess which one will crap where 1st. It's popular!
Discuss Howard Dean
Enjoy the scenery ( I really haven't tired of this one )
Catch your death of cold ( it, too, is popular )
Hike up Jay Peak, feign injury, and ride the tram down. ( IT WORKS )
Go ice fishin' ( lotsa ice )
Put another battery in the car
Mates here are the best, although, I personally avoid the red haired variety
Go swimming ( July 1st - 8th only )
Rent videos at Nancy's ( only $1. and they forget the late charges. Now how righteous is dat. )
Go for a ride. ( Think the Grand Am circuit has hills n' twists ? )
Give the finger to Canadians
Eat Butterworks Farm All-Natural, Certified Organic, Maple Yogurt. You ain't lived till ya had it. ( Ben & Jerry knows these guys...)
Visit the local guitar shops ( Best I've been to - knowledge-wise )
Go to a record / CD store ( almost all indies ) very laid back, but current in almost all venues.
Say "Ayuh" a few times after each sentence. People will look at you funny.
If your viz'tin and you want to make like a local, pretend you're a redneck { Drink some beers - Shoot some queers }
Ride on a Snow Machine or a 4- Wheeler ( Dispose of this planet as fast as you can )
Look into your loved-ones eyes and say something like... "Honey it's your turn to change the oil in the truck".
With all due respect, I think I'm starting to sound like Jeff Foxworthy here, and that is not at all the intention. But I am doing my best to convey life as-it-is in the most accurate way.
Did you kow that some Vermonters would like to see us become a member of the UK? It's true and it wouldn't bother me at all, because I am a direct descendent of William the Conquerer, I am told and that would mean "respect", carry some clout, on the streets of Coventry ( Vermont, that is... )

Oops, wrong planet, again...

-- jim wentworth (wenc...), January 26th, 2004.

-- g.cannon (misterhungr...), March 7th, 2003

-- Sundar (sundar_subramanian200...), September 13th, 2005 1:33 AM. (sundar) (later)

my boss does this all the time. he just made -- crowbarred, really -- a reference to chris morris into a photocopier conversation with someone who has no idea at all who chris morris is. a person who asked what franz ferdinand sounded like was once told 'oh, late 70s scottish post-punk' or something equally helpful. the dick.

-- N_RQ (bl0cke...), September 13th, 2005 11:28 AM.

Answers

i've never heard of your boss.

-- s1ocki (slytus...), September 13th, 2005 11:30 AM.

-- nickalicious (nickaliciou...) (webmail), September 13th, 2005. (link)

-- H. CUTTY WILLIAMS-JOHNSON (NOIZ...)

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

-- disco violence (discoviolenc...), September 13th, 2005.

oldest internet page

Heh. This reminds me of when a guy I know was mocking band genres and said "post-shoegaze jangle-pop!" and I immediately thought to myself "....yeah....probably Ride".

-- Cunga (visionsofjohann...), September 14th, 2005.

-- anthnoy (anthno...), September 14th, 2005.

http://www.diamondscz.com/images/goldtone-cu2.jpg

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), August 8th, 2005.

-- cozen (skiplevel...), Today 10:20 AM. (Cozen) (later)

like the zither, but louder

-- cozen (skiplevel...), Today 10:20 AM. (Cozen) (later)

It's a heartrending ballad about life before google

-- A Viking of Some Note (andrew.thame...)

8. To: all-seniors@waynecorp
From: Bruce
Subject: Company Party 2005

Great news guys! I've found us a fantastic place for this year's bash! Golden beaches, swaying palms - and wall-to-wall hotties!! The place we're staying has kind of a classical decor, and you know what that means? TO-GA!!!

-- Tom (freakytrigge...), September 14th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think the shrillness is more a function of the autotune on Vagina ProTools actually.
-- teeny (teen...), September 15th, 2005.

the whole thread!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LAZY SOMBITCH GET ME MY ORDER YOU INCOMPETENT ASSHOLE. FOR A TECHNOLOGY SPECIALIST YOU REALLY HAVE A POOR GRASP OF TRACKING METHODS.
-- gygax! (gygax0...), September 13th, 2005. (1 trackback)

Unregistered users cannot post on this board
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Love,
FERgie

-- Fergie (Ferguso...), September 15th, 2005 3:24 PM.

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...), September 15th, 2005.

xxxxpost

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), September 15th, 2005 12:58 PM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the hell are you doing here? You don't belong here.
-- O'so Krispie (nicole.kessle...), September 14th, 2005.

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), September 15th, 2005.

-- teeny (teen...), September 16th, 2005.

IMPRISONING ME

ALL THAT I SEE

ABSOLUTE HORROR

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 16th, 2005.

He *had* her at hello.

-- estela (estelaisale...), September 16th, 2005.

On what thread was this?

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), February 4th, 2005

can he post here?

-- f--gg (gffcnn...), February 4th

rumor has it that the orignal controller prototype had veins running down the shaft
-- dr gary busey (dr_...), September 16th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... 2 pages of which are photos
-- Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (dadaismu...), September 16th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... of someone else
-- Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (dadaismu...), September 16th, 2005. (later)

56. The dudes Ian and I saw last week near the comic book store:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v467/laurae55/drunkinpark2.jpg
ihttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v467/laurae55/drunkinpark.jpg
-- Laura H. (elemenopa...), September 16th, 2005.

That's cute. I'll bet he's listening to Suicidal Tendencies.

-- dr gary busey (dr_...), September 16th, 2005.

It's like a methodone(??) version of the Pieta.

-- elmo (elmo.oxyge...), September 16th, 2005.

-- gem (gemilyinterrupte...) (webmail), September 15th, 2005. (link)

-- nathalie (stevienixe...) (webmail), September 15th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perfectly acceptable.

Even ice cream from a wee tub wouldn't have made me think twice.

-- Rumpie (jenikm...) (webmail), September 15th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wee tub?!

-- Tim (hopkinsti...) (webmail), September 15th, 2005. (link)

-- Who the hell do you THINK I am? I'm the goddamn Batman! (b4rim4_...), September 16th, 2005. (Barima)

she always looks like she's trying to suck a tiny cock.

-- Lupton Pitman (thebing...) (webmail), Today 10:55 AM. (Chris V) (later) (link)

n/a is a god

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), September 14th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have to tell us who gets on the slips!

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...) (webmail), September 14th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Omigod sex thread I'm sorry please stop punishing me!

Last night I dreamt I was in a canoe with two male ILXors, out in the middle of the ocean, and then one of them is all like "Man, there's nothing to do out here, let's compare penises," and then the other one drops his shorts and he has this MASSIVE chunky horselike penis, and then the first ILXor is like "hey, wow, that's a good one" (even though I got the distinct impression they'd done this before), and then gradually the first ILXor goes from pointing to it, conversationally, to kind of touching it, and then stroking it, and then eventually he's like groping all over it and I'm politely staring out across the endless ocean like "ho-hum, interesting tern over there, don't you think" while second ILXor is all like "ooo" and giggling.

I'M SORRY THREAD I WILL NEVER TRIFLE WITH YOU AGAIN

-- nabiscOHGODNO (oedipus@ my.eyes.out) (webmail), September 16th, 2005. (link)

-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...), September 16th, 2005.

no, its the beastie boy.

-- Lupton Pitman (thebing...), September 16th, 2005.

so watcha watcha watcha walt

-- Lupton Pitman (thebing...), September 16th, 2005.

The one that said "Mr. Snrub you are a motherfucking idiot and with every post you make I believe this more and more."

-- Mr. Snrub (mistersnru...), September 16th, 2005. (later)

you're gonna have to be more specific than that snrub!

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), September 16th, 2005. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh laurence, I'm so sorry. *sniff*
-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 16th, 2005 2:20 PM. (Dan Perry) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's slaw right Dan
-- laurence kansas (lawrence_kansa...), September 16th, 2005 2:21 PM. (lawrence kansas) (later)

Soon, I will start watching 'Spartan.'

-- Austin Still (austin.swinbur...), September 17th, 2005.

-- andy -- (and...), September 16th, 2005. (later)

KATE
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait

TREKKIE
For porn

KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
I browse all day and night

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,

KATE
What are you doing!?

TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
porn porn porn

KATE
Treee—kkie!

TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster

KATE
You are ruining my song

TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to

KATE
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?

TREKKIE
Me no talkie

KATE
Good
I’m glad we have this new technology

TREKKIE
For porn

KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity

TREKKIE
For por—oops, sorry

KATE
Right from you own desktop

TREKKIE
For ---

KATE
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop

TREKKIE
FOR porn!!

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!

KATE
Noooo

TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!

KATE
Trekkie

TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
That’s gross you’re a pervert

TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster

KATE
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet

TREKKIE
Ohhhh?

KATE
What?!

TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

PRINCETON
Sorry kate

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

PRINCETON
I masturbate!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
porn!, porn, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
That’s correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

KATE
Gross!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

KATE
I hate porn

TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your d**k and double click

KATE
I hate you men!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE
I’m leaving!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE
I hate the internet!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for porn!

TREKKIE
YEAH!

-- M. V. (m...) (webmail), September 17th, 2005. (M.V.) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...)

I'm thinking of doing my part of the interview all in snizzle my nizzle speak, since I'm that white guy who would say it in the movies.

-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...)

Ask him about Star Wars and what he thinks of Chew-bizzle!

-- Dale the Titled (cpre...)

ask him if he's ever not wanted to have anal sex with his bitchez, and contrast that with his attitude towards his hoez

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...)

he has quite a gauntlet to go through though. I only got my first callback from his pizzeople this mizzorning after a wizzeek of cazzalling themizzle. I was abizzout to callizzle and lizzeve a mizzessage in the whizzole Detective Munch, "Are you saving your good lies for the other guy? Don't lie to me like I"m Montel Williams!"

-- Huckleberry Mann (handsomishbo...)

Posted by Marcus: you imagine an entire film of another man getting fucked in the ass? wow.

-- jel -- (freeduni...), March 17th, 2005.

classic as a joke topic when you're pregnant!!

-- teeny (teen...) (webmail), Today 9:21 AM. (teeny) (later)

No it's working fine for...

Read More...

-- Whiney G. Weingarten (cweingarte...), June 25th, 2005 5:38 PM. (whineyg)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 19th, 2005.

-- M. White (deir...) (webmail), September 19th, 2005 11:20 AM. (Miguelito) (link)

-- M. V. (m...), September 19th, 2005. (M.V.) (later)

-- jhoshea

---

The thing that is particularly galling about the "X glorifies violence" meme is that some segment of every single form of entertainment known to man glorifies violence with perhaps the sole exception of card games.
-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 19th, 2005. (later)

That's beside the point, though. Whether 50 Cent is rapping "in character" or not doesn't change the fact that he's still glorifying criminal activity. Obviously, 50 Cent does not represent the entirety of Hip Hop, but the album in question did sell by the truckload.
But writing/rapping in character isn't automatically "glorifying" - or does every first-person account of criminal activity fall under this umbrella condemnation, save those that end with the criminal receiving societal repercussions for his behavior? That, if you'll remember, was the Hayes code, and it was lame. I know you're not advocating censorship or anything, I'm not accusing you of that, but I think that there are more possibilities within writing than "for it/against it"

-- Banana Nutrament (straightu...), September 19th, 2005. (later)

also Black Elegance should try cheating at card with my ass again and then see whether I glorify some violence or not
-- Banana Nutrament (straightu...), September 19th, 2005. (later)

cards goddammit gaaah
-- Banana Nutrament (straightu...), September 19th, 2005. (later)

I don't the game Card With My Ass.
-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 19th, 2005. (later)

The game Card With My Ass 100% glorifies violence.
-- jhoshea (jo...), September 19th, 2005. (later)

-- jimmy glass (electricsoun...), September 20th, 2005 12:01 PM. (electricsound) (later)

I hope she did better than the kid who asked about "Frankinstien."
-- k/l (lauter...), September 19th, 2005 12:25 PM. (Ken L) (later) (link)

Yeah, really. If they're in a class on Augustan and Romantic poetry, they're probably smart enough to sufficiently BS a paper. If you don't know what the name of the doctor in Frankenstein is, though...
-- pr00de, where's my car? (wor...), September 19th, 2005 12:34 PM. (pr00de) (later) (link)

It's Victor :)

-- (silva11...), September 20th, 2005 3:26 AM. (later) (link)

Crap! There goes my 4.0
-- pr00de, where's my car? (wor...), September 20th, 2005 3:57 AM. (pr00de) (later) (link)

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), April 29th, 2002.

What, finding someone who likes winky faces as much as you do, Ned? ;)
-- Mitch Lastnamewithheld (mitchnet7...), April 29th, 2002.

perhaps, some traffic

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:05 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

what a lover of humanity you are

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:07 PM. (Oops) (later) (link)

not liking you doesn't make me any less of a humanitarian

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:08 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

wanting to endganger the life of someone you don't like does though.
anyway, hating on me is boring and tiresome. can we get start bitching about people who don't use turn signals?

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:12 PM. (Oops) (later) (link)

my joke was that I didn't think of you as a human

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:13 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

well it was fucking brilliant. get over it.

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:16 PM. (Oops) (later) (link)

fine, then, it wasn't a joke

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:16 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

My friend emailed me saying "at least I don't have a stinkyman in the office" He looked at the email then looked away quickly and went to make tea. I emailed her back telling her he was sitting with me and to send a similiar email that didn't allude to him (ingenius I thought, I could leave that open and he'd think he'd misread it) so she obliged, sending a new email saying "at least I don't have a stinkyman next door" - not much of an improvement but still.

Two minutes later she sent through another email with bold red letters - "HEY STINKY STOP READING HER EMAILS"

He read it. He smiled shyly. I beamed red. I had to sit with him for a further hour too scared to open anymore emails, too pathetic to say anything to him. Now I'm scared he won't come back tomorrow.

So I'M the stupid, annoying co-worker and I feel like fucking shit.

-- Rumpie (jenikm...) (webmail), September 20th, 2005. (link)

Body image issues.
-- Jordan (jordan...), September 19th, 2005.

B) I'm regarded as a hipster fuck for being raised on Eighties music and having expanded on a lot of my tastes from there and for actually getting pleasure out of it. Brilliant. You might as well attack JW for wearing a Neu! shirt. (No, I'm not advising anyone to do that -- I personally have no qualms with Jon.) You know, I've actually never listened to Neu! and so I can't be as much of a hipster fuck as you say!

C) I add extensions to my screen name on here. I'm sure you fellows think I'm being clever and pretentious by it -- I just wanted to fill up the box even more with certain things that stick with me and I'm not trying to please anyone here by it, although I'm sure you'd like to think so! Anyway, there's a Coupling quote in the box right now. "A casualty of social estrangement" was inspired by a self-deprecatory comment. "Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for it!" comes from a silly comment made by Dispatcher Hubicka in the novella Closely Watched Trains. Get over it. Why the fuck am I supposed to appease you assholes and cater to your every goddamned whim anyhow?

D) The pseudonym I use (so I'm not found through Google by anyone who knows me personally, if for some reason they bother to search for me) has been subject to derision. It's derived from my grandmother's maiden name and my musical project, so there is a significance to it. It wasn't randomly chosen, so fuck off.

E) The whole British malarkey. So what? You fuckers act as if you didn't do anything stupid in their teenage years. I pointed it out because I don't mind making fun of myself. I was trying to knock it out of me six months out of me before anyone here knew because I'm very well aware of how pretentious it seems. I often lapse into using the grammar out of the habit I made, too. As for using colloquialisms and phrases like "eejit" -- I also have a habit of picking them up and using them in moments where I'm not being serious. Christ, you people are a bunch of goddamned uptights. Do you ever have fun at all? Or do you stand around acting disenchanted, wearing discerning poses and frowning upon everybody that's ever worn a Gang of Four or Birthday Party shirt?

F) Apparently I've mentioned my mother a lot. I don't mind referencing what goes on around me, whether it's something she says, something stupid my brother does, being hit on by a forty-something black gay man on the city bus, or having an ex-girlfriend from middle school turn into a professional drag king -- I've mentioned a lot of people I encounter in everyday life and things they've said or things they do whenever it's (semi-)relevant. And no, I don't think my mother's entirely cool -- I'm just as willing to make fun of her for liking Love Actually or listening to modern mainstream Clear Channel rock whenever a thread on it comes up and someone makes reference to Adema or Cold or doing something dorky that's unrelated to music and cinema. In fact, I'm very willing to expose anyone's faults, whether it's hers, my own, or certain noize boarders. We're all goddamned frauds anyway. Fuck off, good night.

P.S. Awww, I'm a "Ned-in-training!" That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. I suppose that means I have more of a heart than you ever will.

-- Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (eastern_mantr...), September 20th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

but, you are not banned
-- don't be jerk, this is china (fe...), September 20th, 2005.

-- accentmonkey (tris...), September 17th, 2005 6:23 AM. (accentmonkey) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You should kill them with a knife, leave your fingerprints on it, then hide the knife inside a pudding.
-- estela (estelaisale...), September 17th, 2005 6:27 AM. (estela) (later)

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...), January 30th, 2004

Orbit, judging from your pics, you're definitely not ugly, not even on general Western beauty standards. (And subjective standards are of course a different thing, I'd say you look pretty.)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), January 30th, 2004

and your personality is about 8 i think.

-- ken c (kenneth.ch...), January 30th, 2004

You should kill them with a knife, leave your fingerprints on it, then hide the knife inside a pudding.
-- estela (estelaisale...), September 17th, 2005 6:27 AM. (estela) (later)

omg i just had to re quote that one, i think i just woke up the neighbours with the loudest laugh i've ever produced!

-- Static Electricity (painfrustrationsorro...), September 21st, 2005 1:28 AM. (later)

which read:

-- Static Electricity (painfrustrationsorro...), September 21st, 2005 1:28 AM. (later)

'let me introduce myself:

-- Static Electricity (painfrustrationsorro...), September 21st, 2005 1:28 AM. (later)

i am a private investigator

-- Static Electricity (painfrustrationsorro...), September 21st, 2005 1:28 AM. (later)

my name is irrelevant

-- Static Electricity (painfrustrationsorro...), September 21st, 2005 1:28 AM. (later)

john p. irrelevant

-- Static Electricity (painfrustrationsorro...), September 21st, 2005 1:29 AM. (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

surely its not far
-- roxymuzak (emilysu...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005. (roxymuzak) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, all you have to do is close your eyes and believe.

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005. (Tuomas) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OMG where did my eyebrows go!? YOU BASTARDS.
-- Trayce (spamspanke...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005. (trayce) (later)

-- Hello Sunshine (fiver_the_bunn...), September 21st, 2005 12:41 PM. (Hello Sunshine) (later)

-- hard, up (cr...)

Have you tried rape?

-- kidnapping and blackmail (3910ghsa...)

What is the common link between all pot smokers?

They smoke pot?

-- nathalie, a bum like you (stevienixe...), September 21st, 2005 3:35 PM. (stevie nixed) (later)

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005. (link)

-- Stephen X (figmentfragmen...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005. (link)

DISCUSS
-- ZZZZ (Z...), September 21st, 2005 11:04 AM. (later)

check your asshole.
-- Lupton Pitman (thebing...), September 21st, 2005 11:08 AM. (Chris V) (later)

Where the hell is THAT from?

-- sfxxxx (...), September 21st, 2005 4:21 PM. (later)

AND THEY FLOAT

-- Homosexual II (mandeewrigh...), September 21st, 2005 4:25 PM. (Homosexual II) (later)

She's not a regular on ILM then I take it?

-- Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (dadaismu...), September 21st, 2005 1:43 PM. (Dada) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DISCUS

-- ZZZZ (ZZ...), September 21st, 2005.

Answers
check your asshole.
-- Pitman Lupton (...), September 21st, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thank you
-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 21st, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for giving me the best thread of my life
-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 21st, 2005.

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[...]

I mean, it's kind of rude, too, cause she's all like "don't worry, I'm a normal person, just like you," and I'm all like "what did you think I thought you were, the Pope of Tits?"

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005. (link)

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), September 21st, 2005 1:31 PM. (later)

their short game is tremendous though

-- Porkpie (porkypi...), September 21st, 2005 1:40 PM. (later)

JON
For porn

KATE THE ST.
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait

JON
For porn

KATE THE ST.
Huh?
There's always some new site,

JON
For porn!

KATE THE ST.
I browse all day and night

JON
For porn!

KATE THE ST.
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light

JON
For porn!

KATE THE ST.
Jon!

JON
The internet is for porn

KATE THE ST.
Jon!

JON
The internet is for porn,

KATE THE ST.
What are you doing!?

JON
Why you think the net was born?
porn porn porn

KATE THE ST.
Joooooooooon!

JON
Oh hello kate monster

KATE THE ST.
You are ruining my song

JON
Oh me sorry, me no mean to

KATE THE ST.
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?

JON
Me no talkie

KATE THE ST.
Good
I’m glad we have this new technology

JON
For porn

KATE THE ST.
Which gives us untold opportunity

JON
For por—oops, sorry

KATE THE ST.
Right from you own desktop

JON
For ---

KATE THE ST.
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop

JON
FOR porn!!

KATE THE ST.
Jon!

JON
The internet is for porn!

KATE THE ST.
Noooo

JON
The internet if for porn!

KATE THE ST.
Jon

JON
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE THE ST.
That’s gross you’re a pervert

JON
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster

KATE THE ST.
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet

JON
Ohhhh?

KATE THE ST.
What?!

JON
You have no idea
Ready bros?

NOISE DUDES
Ready--- ready ----ready

JON
Let me hear it!

JON AND BROS
The internet is for porn!

IAN
Sorry kate

JON AND BROS
The internet is for porn!

IAN
I masturbate!

JON AND BROS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE THE ST.
The internet is not for porn!!

JON AND BROS
porn!, porn, P---

KATE THE ST.
HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now i know for a fact that you, Cutty, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

CUTTY
That’s correct.

KATE THE ST.
And ddb, you buy things on Amazon.com

DDB
Sure!

KATE THE ST.
And Gygax, you keep selling your Wipers records on Ebay

GYGAX
Yes I do!

KATE THE ST.
And Ian, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

IAN
True!

JON
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

IAN
. .yeah

KATE THE ST.
EEEWWWWW!

JON AND BROS
The internet is for porn!

KATE THE ST.
Gross!

JON AND BROS
The internet is for porn!

KATE THE ST.
I hate porn

JON AND BROS
Grab your d**k and double click

KATE THE ST.
I hate you dudes!

JON AND BROS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE THE ST.
I’m leaving!

JON AND BROS
porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE THE ST.
I hate the internet!

JON AND BROS
porn, porn, porn, porn

JON
The internet is for

JON AND DUDES
The internet is for

JON AND BROS
The internet is for porn!

JON
YEAH!

-- the most mysterious regular ilxor (curtis.stephen...), Today 1:26 AM. (Curtis Stephens) (later)

-- kelsey (kelstarr...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005 4:40 PM. (kelstarry) (link)

Kelsey, that often happens when a guy doesn't pay attention to the titoris.

-- Casuistry (chri...) (webmail), September 21st, 2005 4:43 PM. (Chris Piuma) (link)

-- Danielle cunningham (dannielle96...), Today 9:48 PM. (later)

-- anthony diveley (tony358...), Today 12:12 AM. (later)

disscus

-- RJG (RJ...), Today 12:22 AM. (RJG) (later)

-- Douglas (ilxo...), September 20th, 2005. (Douglas) (later)

I read yr piece in the Believer today while at work, Doug (can I call you Doug?). Made me think I am missing out by not reading beyond Jaka's story.. but not quite enough to justify the $$$

-- Ian John50n (dr.carl.saga...), September 21st, 2005. (orion) (later)

Nobody who knows better calls me Doug...

-- Douglas (ilxo...), September 21st, 2005. (Douglas) (later)

so you're "doug"-less?

-- s1ocki (slytus...), September 21st, 2005. (slutsky) (later)

i am so, so, sorry about that.

-- s1ocki (slytus...), September 21st, 2005. (slutsky) (later)

-- anthony diveley (tony358...), September 22nd, 2005. (later)

disscus

-- RJG (RJ...), September 22nd, 2005. (RJG) (later)

August 30, 2005 6:26 PM
i really dont care if i was or wasnt tell me please im begging u!!!!

August 30, 2005 8:32 PM
go fuck yurself even though u did the triva and i didnt respond u should of gave him the email adress asshole

Followed on ILM with:
yo john justen even though i wasnt entered in the contest to find out his email address do u know anyone that can help me find out?
-- Justin S. (su-3...), August 31st, 2005.

I love that thread so much...I will never conceal my real email, because I will never enjoy this sort of fun...

dude I don't even hate you, I don't even dislike you! I even talk to you decent some nights! You think my screenname's never been punked on? You're eighteen years old and you think I'm singling you out on some permanent shit? I'm going to sue you!!! JK but chill i think you're okay, you just need to join a gang for a few weeks, make your bones an that.

posted twice? feck, i missed the first one. and yes, THAT'S WHY IT'S SO GODDAMN FUNNY.

PS

SPENCER CHOW GETS PUSSY

SPENCER CHOW DIGS MOVIES

AND SO WOULD YOU

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 22nd, 2005. (later)

i liked this movie. i think huell likes weezer, right? i guess it was a bit emo but i don't have much emo in my life, so this was easily tolerable.

-- N_RQ (bl0cke...), September 22nd, 2005. (later)

I've just found my calling! Spencer Chow slash! Shzen-Xiao fan-fik fly-lice on the takeout menu. Oh God just say "number 38" already I'm STAAAARVING

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 22nd, 2005. (later)

Weirdest and most absurdly adorable race-bait scene EVER EVER EVER was in Crooklyn, when the black kids are playing around with the CLEARLY WHITE/JEW AT A STRETCH guy on the stoop, and they call him, get this, a "CHINESE PUERTO-RICAN CHINK-SPIT!!" WTFLYINGF is THAT??!?

-- LeCoq (leiffe...), September 22nd, 2005. (later)

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 22nd, 2005 2:26 PM.

-- el sabor de gene (yn...), September 22nd, 2005. (later)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 23rd, 2005 11:25 AM. (ken c) (later)

in a speech bubble, spoken by a dinosaur

-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 23rd, 2005 11:25 AM. (ken c) (later)

has anyone on ilx actually had problems with real dinosaurs?

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), September 23rd, 2005 11:30 AM. (papa la bas) (later)

besides nairn i guess

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), September 23rd, 2005 11:30 AM. (papa la bas) (later)

I think this guy just typed "satan martians" into that googletalk thing, and posted what it generated.

That bothers me for some reason I can't quite put my finger on.

Lie down on the couch and let's talk about it. Do you yourself play guitar? If yes, what's bothering you may be the image of the song being performed live - with the guitarist standing motionless for two thirds of it, then suddenly breaking out into an enthusiastic solo, only to finish it with an awesome bend and... patiently wait for the rest of the song to end.

-- joseph cotten (josephcotte...), September 22nd, 2005. (joseph cotten) (later) (link)

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IS

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ONE

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THING

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WE

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIDN'T

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WANT

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TO

-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fuck

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), September 23rd, 2005. (link)

Oh geezum, my lungs, I laughed so hard.

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), Today 3:44 PM. (Huk-L) (later

That's actually what Tyra's boobs look like.

-- The Ghost of Ribbit Ribbit C-Cup (djperr...), September 23rd, 2005 7:25 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

(I have just given myself a nightmarish vision of removing a woman's bra and watching her nipples flick out across the room to catch flies.)

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 23rd, 2005 7:28 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

thanks a lot dan, now the next time i fuck a frog i'll be thinking of tyra banks. asshole.

-- mark p (mark.p****...), September 23rd, 2005 11:00 AM. (Mark P) (later)

you get it all

you get X

AND!!!!! AND AND AND

you get Y

how fantastic is that?

-- craptain crunch (ab...), Yesterday. (later)

I hear Elfs are drunks
-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), September 28th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No they are homosexaul
Dwarves are drunks
-- anthony (anthonyeasto...), September 28th, 2001.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am drunk
-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), September 28th, 2001.

-- caitlin oh no (caitx...), September 26th, 2005 10:26 AM. (caitxa1) (later)

where is tasmania on it?

-- jimmy glass (electricsoun...), September 26th, 2005 10:26 AM. (electricsound) (later)

(ahaha.. ok its funny to me)

Also, I am speaking in parenthesis because it is code for OT, right?)

-- Clem Kadiddlehopper (kenn...), September 25th, 2005. (later)

Is there anyone here who puts global issues above their own personal ones? I know it's probably bad not to, but I can't, and I never will. What I'm trying to say is, if it's a choice between me having a shit year next year and the world having a shit year, I know which I'd choose. Are any of you actually able to say otherwise?
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), January 1st, 2002.

Answers
World peace doesn't mean I'll be able to afford new decks new answers.
-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald...), January 1st, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An admittedly hard choice. I'd *like* to think that if somebody came up to me and said "In exchange for you having the worst year of your life, things will be utterly fantastic for the world has a whole," I'd say, "Okay." But am I that self-sacrificing at base?
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 1st, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Ronan, Do you have any family in the USA?
-- Gale Deslongchamps (gal...), January 1st, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or Canada?
-- Gale Deslongchamps (gal...), January 1st, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is there anyone you know who could help you to get on your feet? Help you get a start? What is it like in Ireland?
-- Gale Deslongchamps (gal...), January 1st, 2002.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Email me in private., if you like.
-- Gale Deslongchamps (gal...), January 1st, 2002.

-- Gale Deslongchamps (gale...), August 2nd, 2001.

SCENE:

A SURFER is paddling in the waves. Suddenly he ralfs blood.

A DOLPHIN emerges from the depths, looking not unlike the Terminator, speaking like him as well.

DOLPHIN: "So long -- AND THANKS FOR ALL DA FEESH."

V.O.: "In a world where surfers roam, they have ONE ENEMY."

MAIN TITLE: "Douglas Adams' H2G2 II: JUDGEMENT DAY."

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), September 26th, 2005. (Ned) (later) (link)

-- The Ghost of Teufelstod, lvl 46 Dwarven Warrior. Um. (djperr...), September 27th, 2005 5:46 AM. (Dan Perry) (later)

-- phil-two (philtw...) (webmail), September 26th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because the point is to MAKE J-BABIES! It was explained to me, briefly, by the cute j before the talking/flirting ensued. Something like: "Did you know that Jewish people only make up (x-percentage) of the North American/World population?" Me: "No, I did not know that." Him: "Yeah, y'know, therefore, J-date." Me: "okay then, wow." :(

-- rrrobyn (apoemabouteverythin...) (webmail), September 26th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I were drunk I'm sure I would've said, "Maybe I have a J-uterus!" and, possibly, "Let's check!"

-- rrrobyn (apoemabouteverythin...) (webmail), September 26th, 2005. (link)

An African-American reporter from the local news came up and asked S if she was enjoying the game. She said yeah. Who was she rooting for? She paused. "The white team?" The reporter nodded her head and asked why's that? S stuck her finger to her lips and replied "Because I'm white?"

I looked over in time to see the semi-famous local reporter walking backwards down the stairs with this frozen, polite smile on her face. We left soon after that.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...), September 26th, 2005.

-- kornrulez6969 (TCBein...) (webmail), Yesterday 4:44 PM. (later) (link)

-- n/a (nu...), September 27th, 2005.

Answers

http://www.newenglandtravelplanner.com/assets/images/people/hawthorne.jpg

-- n/a (nu...), September 27th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The "California Girls" of its day.
-- n/a (nu...), September 27th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- edward o (edwardo...), September 27th, 2005.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

did she really duet with shaggy
honestly
all i remember is 'bitch'

-- nervous (forests.forest...), September 27th, 2005.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Bitch was Meredith Brooks. There are too many female singers whose names start with M. Please eliminate three... etc.

-- edward o (edwardo...), September 27th, 2005.

-- Spencer Chow (spencercho...), September 21st, 2005.

-- Dom Passantino (juror...) (webmail), September 27th, 2005 5:57 PM. (Dom Passantino) (later) (link)

'hey ya' was a hit over here

-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), September 27th, 2005 5:58 PM. (papa la bas) (later) (link)

and now we're back on topic wakka wakka

-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), September 27th, 2005 5:59 PM. (papa la bas) (later) (link)

-- Jimmy Mod Loves Alan Canseco (fuckyouandyouremai...), September 27th, 2005 7:18 PM

ROFFLE!

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...), September 28th, 2005.

Stealing money from Grandma

Worst sex euphemism ever.

-- Jordan (jordan...), September 28th, 2005.

-- nobody (ano...), November 12th, 2003.

Me too. And thanks to Beth for the original idea.

A) have a spazzy panic attack?
B) stab a hobo?

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...) (webmail), September 28th, 2005 4:20 PM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)

(We could make an entire relationchip quiz like this...)

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...) (webmail), September 28th, 2005 4:22 PM. (Dan Perry) (later) (link)

Of course an ideally balanced man would do both.

-- Martin Skidmore (lonewolf.cu...) (webmail), September 28th, 2005 4:23 PM. (Martin Skidmore) (later) (link)

You'll notice I am keeping my mouth shut. That's probably wise, right?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...) (webmail), September 28th, 2005 4:23 PM. (jaymc) (later) (link)

that's manipulation

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), September 28th, 2005 4:25 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

-- Esther La' Montagne (essie_lamontagn...), September 28th, 2005. (later)

-- n/a (nu...), September 28th, 2005 12:53 PM. (later)

-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 29th, 2005. (ken c) (later) (link)

Well, he isn't evenly black

-- Dadaismus (dadaismu...), September 29th, 2005. (Dada) (later) (link)

I saw Jeremy Clarskon walking into the Kensington High Street branch of Anne Summers yesterday.
-- Hello Sunshine (fiver_the_bunn...), September 29th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking? He should have driven in surely?
-- Dadaismus (dadaismu...), September 29th, 2005.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...), September 28th, 2005 7:35 PM

can't wait for the "stand by me" mini-series with jonathan lipnicki, jonathan taylor thomas, brian austin green and the guy who played jonathan in buffy!

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), April 28th, 2004.

-- gear (speed.to.roa...) (webmail), September 29th, 2005. (link)

-- gear (speed.to.roa...) (webmail), September 29th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or else, they would be raped by Gordon Jump.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), September 29th, 2005. (link)

-- katelyn beshures (Pretty_sk8ter421...) (webmail), September 5th, 2005 4:57 PM. (link)

-- s1ocki (parrisactava...), April 28th, 2004.

i have no recollection of "saying" this!! where is it from??

-- David R. (quoteidio...) (webmail), September 29th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You just made all of my teeth fall out.

-- O'so Krispie (nicole.kessle...) (webmail), September 29th, 2005. (link)

The Shining thread.

-- Leeeeeeeee (leeee...), September 29th, 2005.

The thread that keeps on giving.

MARX

you know the drill

-- anthony (anthonyeasto...) (webmail), August 13th, 2001.

Answers

Sorry, I thought you meant the founder of communism.

-- Nick (nickdastoo...) (webmail), August 13th, 2001.

i did

-- anthony (anthonyeasto...) (webmail), August 13th, 2001.

-- The Obligatory Sourpuss (OMGmyscreennam...), September 29th, 2005. (Begs2Differ)

Mitch = Jermaine, right?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), September 20th, 2005.

right.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Mum has started saying 'U R all teh gheye' at her coffee mornings.

-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...), September 29th, 2005 6:19 AM. (blueski) (later)

-- Tuomas

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), September 29th, 2005 5:23 PM. (papa la bas) (later) (link)

-- O'so Krispie (nicole.kessle...), September 30th, 2005 2:37 AM. (Ex Leon) (later)

Bjerking off?

-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), September 30th, 2005 2:38 AM. (Beth Parker) (later)

-- Menelaus Darcy (menelau...) (webmail), September 30th, 2005. (link)

-- a picture of a fat girl hugging Rick Perry, awesome (gobac...), September 30th, 2005.

yes, let us laugh at this funny musical theatre student fellow. ha ha!

-- lemin (jlync...), September 30th, 2005.

Ha ha!

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), September 30th, 2005.

you can't laugh at anything anymore.

-- polyphonic (polyphoni...), September 30th, 2005.

hahaha

-- gear (speed.to.roa...), September 30th, 2005.

Random Protestors picture thread

When my husband cums in me it creates an awful smell. Lasting for several days. We have both been tested for STD's and we are both clean. I have had other sex partners in the past and have never experienced this smell. What could be causing this? Help, the smell is awful.

-- Renee (bouti...), October 1st, 2005 1:59 PM. (later)

.....

Despite this name's board we don't really Love Everything, Renee.

-- estela (estelaisale...), October 1st, 2005 2:25 PM. (estela) (later)

ah
-- RJG (RJ...), October 1st, 2005. (later)

-- Fritz Wollner (fritzwollner5...), October 3rd, 2003 10:51 AM. (Fritz)

-- Chris James (cj98...), October 1st, 2005 11:03 AM.

TOMMY: THE JEWSICAL

Maybe this can get moved to the Noize Board?

-- frendz (joseph.ke...) (webmail), October 1st, 2005. (tracklink) (link)

Answers

Why would the Noize board want it?

-- Tom (freakytrigge...) (webmail), October 1st, 2005. (link)

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), September 30th, 2005.

-- the most mysterious regular ilxor (curtis.stephen...), October 1st, 2005.

That is a little masterpiece.

They were great! But then there was another band. They were HORRIBLE! Drab cliched pop/punk surfie hardcore shit played by three Aussie jocks! And we could not escape because we were on a boat. There was no escape. As we pulled into land, a couple of my friends even tried to exit through the ferry window! They couldn't even wait for the gangplank to come down.

-- moley (mol...), October 2nd, 2005 12:37 PM. (later)

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance

clearly, there is only one recourse: KILL DANGERMOUSE.

* grandmothers
* goths
* Elizabeth Taylor
* my sister Meg@n
* Canadians
* everyone who saw the third Austin Powers film
* people in uniform
* girls named Mishy

-- Allyzay (definitivelis...), December 11th, 2003.

"Hello, just looking!"

"Well, you can fuck right off to the next shop then."

-- nathalie, a bum like you (stevienixe...) (webmail), October 2nd, 2005 9:38 AM. (stevie nixed) (later) (link)

-- Jordan (jordan...) (webmail), October 3rd, 2005. (link)

-- Allyzay knows a little German (allyza...) (webmail), October 3rd, 2005. (link)

CHW - BOS 2005 ALDS Thread

-------------------------------------

"you must leave the village FOREVER"
-- purple faced badly animated chief

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

less than that, if you really want it.
-- Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (fuckyouandyouremai...) (webmail), October 3rd, 2005. (The Famous Jimmy Mod) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's October 2005: What do you look like making out with your friend?"

-- WE'RE ALL WAITING (gffcnn...) (webmail), October 3rd, 2005. (gcannon) (later)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"ILX turned into a hardcore sex site to gradually I didn't evven notice!"
-- Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (fuckyouandyouremai...) (webmail), October 3rd, 2005. (The Famous Jimmy Mod) (later)

-- Ronan (ronan.fitzgerald6NOSPA...), September 16th, 2005.

who is the sexist man on this board?

-- 100% WJE (theundergroundhom...), October 4th, 2005.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

that's quite a clever question, for a woman.

-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...), October 4th, 2005.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

thank you. i came up with it while i was on the way into the kitchen, to make you some pie.

-- 100% WJE (theundergroundhom...), October 4th, 2005.

-- battlin' green eyeshades (mandeewrigh...), October 17th, 2004 6:42 AM. (Homosexual II) (link)

A group of us used to get together for Goldeneye sessions. There were four of us in all and after each game we had various hats we had to wear that were allocated out in order of greatness...
- Ste, on ILG

haha, dude!

-- latebloomer (posercore24...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005 1:16 PM. (latebloomer) (later) (link)

THANKS LATEBLOOMER I VALUE YOUR OPINION GREATLY AND THINK FOREIGN POLICY SHOULD BE SINGULARLY BASED ON IT

-- _ (...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005 1:18 PM. (later) (link)

NO, NO...YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE DICTATING FOREIGN POLICY. YOU BEING SUCH AN EXPERT.

-- latebloomer (posercore24...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005 1:23 PM. (latebloomer) (later) (link)

I wish you'd both dictate foreign policy

-- RJG (RJ...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005 1:25 PM. (RJG) (later) (link)

I give it up. I give it all up. I surrender.

Why don't you people just fucking tell me what you want from me? 'Cos I have the piles of paperwork and evidence now.

'Cos I surrender. I surrender. I'm sorry I don't understand your little east coast social codes, but your code rapes and robs us, quite frankly. Go ahead - hire a rape like that Tribune guy did in 1992. Stage a show trial so that you can drag your mortal enemy - my dad - into the gutter. And oh yeah, get some provocateurs like Ligue to make the Sox fans look like trash. And you know the mafia thugs who wormed their way into the Tribune were behind that.

Oh, go ahead - tell me you're 'baffled' and all that. I love it! I'm long past caring whether you think another woman is having PMS or 'going crazy' and all.....

I love it when all you college pricks who've benefitted from the blackballing feign ignorance. They pick some to succeed and blackball others. That's what you get for having no culture, for never having to have to fight for your independence. You don't have any history. Well, the south siders DO have history, and the WASPs have never forgotten that. God forbid my family were Irish Republicans who refused to screw black people to get ahead.

Fact is, they treat the White Sox like their property...it's much more serious than media bias. It's fucking slavery and terrorism. They stalk the shit out of these guys. They act like they OWN them. The White Sox got blackballed. You know, 'blackballing'....it's an Ivy League thing? Or are you too irresponsible or too comfortable to know about it?

I don't want to hear anymore about how you feel so guilty and liberal for 'not knowing'. I'm sick of people who didn't know and I wish they didn't exist.

Go ahead - there's another straitjacketed crazy Irish troublemaker, just like my Aunt Grace. Go ahead and presume and masturbate to that and your comfort and your fat bank account.

'Cos I don't give a shit anymore.

As for the 'famous Sox fan' thing...well, I guess I just started sticking my nose in where it didn't belong a few years ago. And I now have two attempted murders in the past year to show for it (and I got the paperwork for that, too).

But sorry about that. Enjoy the postseason. I'm doing you a favor by letting you know how truly ugly your favorite pastime is, but no doubt you'll just chalk it up to Irish Catholic hysterical craziness...

-- simian (3910ghsa...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005 2:20 PM. (dymaxia) (later) (link)

I have locked Dan and Ally from this thread.

Now how about that Jake Peavy?

-- gygax! (gygax0...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005. (link)

ice.

-- Rock Hardy (crump...), September 28th, 2005 9:49 AM."

It's not the first time, either.

-- scott seward (skotro...), October 4th, 2005.

That doesn't keep me from laughing at him.

-- simian (3910ghsa...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005 2:20 PM. (dymaxia) (later) (link)

WTF, another reason this is weird is that Red Sox fans are like all Boston Irish.

-- _ (...), October 4th, 2005 3:33 PM.

we had a contest one time of how many funerals we'd been to that played 'i really miss my homies' and she won hands down

-- _ (...), October 4th, 2005 3:34 PM.

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...) (webmail), October 4th, 2005 4:23 PM. (tracerhand) (later) (link)

While I appreciate gygax's contributions to this board, I'd prefer if we stay on topic.

Dan and Ally, please don't post here if you don't like excelsior and you're just here to stir things up.

Spencer, Ally can help you here -- Ally, what would you say are the best equivalents to White Sox fans and Red Sox fans in musical terms?

Meanwhile I Love Books waits patiently for the return of Ann Sterzinger or the German press or the odd coincidence of two people reading the same book at the same time.

so what is it like
and how much political power does it hold.

-- anthony (anthony.easto...), October 4th, 2005 5:05 PM.

Tons. Ladies Home Journal was singularly responsible for the Republican takeover of the House in 1994.

-- milozauckerman (wooderso...), October 4th, 2005 5:19 PM.

Would Chicago vs Boston be too obvious?

I haven't read a single post of yours on this thread! Also I am older than you, so the stuff I did came first.

And you're not jewish!

-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 4th, 2005.

-- mark p (mark.p****...), January 24th, 2005 8:23 PM.

I have to say...it's rather ill advised (I am getting your slsk messages mark, but I am never there!!!)

-- .ada.m. (adamr...), January 24th, 2005 8:24 PM.

Who is Hari?

-- .ada.m. (adamr...), January 24th, 2005 8:25 PM.

he's a british kid with a sorta-girlfriend and a racist belt

-- mark p (mark.p****...), January 24th, 2005 8:27 PM."

---

I am very happy with "inexplicably compelling sexy", thank you. I think it's the best on the list.

-- Alba (albab...), October 5th, 2005. (later)

she hasn't met you

-- RJG (RJ...), October 5th, 2005. (later)

walter, you're right. The mode of fiscal responsibility you describe is the type that Republican figureheads like Grover Norquist favor -- to wit, slash revenue collections, allow the level and quality of certain government services to atrophy, and then shutter those services entirely. Starve the beast. But it doesn't have to be that way. Fiscal responsibility could just as easily describe progressive taxation of wealth, reduced military spending, and protection of economic resources through better environmental regulations.

-- rasheed wallace (kanestbkly...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fiscal responsibility could just as easily describe progressive taxation of wealth, reduced military spending, and protection of economic resources through better environmental regulations.

Right but those are all liberal values. How and when have those ideas ever been advanced by conservatives or Republicans in the US?

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tax the rich" is a value?

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tax the rich" is a slogan. Asking those who have derived the greatest benefit from our laws and policies to contribute something sligthly more to their maintenance and advancement is a value.

-- rasheed wallace (kanestbkly...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asking someone to do something isn't a value! Values are rules that make up your moral/ethical code, not laws you impose on someone.

"I think discrimination is wrong" is a value.
"You shouldn't discriminate against people" is not.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's semantics. I can reformulate as "I think it is proper for those who have derived the greatest benefit from our laws and policies to contribute something sligthly more to their maintenance and advancement." It doesn't change the underlying idea.

-- rasheed wallace (kanestbkly...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Considering that the people in power are currently running the country into the ground via games with semantics, I'm not entirely copacetic with the "semantics are meaningless" argument.

-- The Ghost of Black Elegance (djperr...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Touche.

-- rasheed wallace (kanestbkly...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[...]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I think discrimination is wrong" is a value.
"You shouldn't discriminate against people" is not.

I'm a little unclear on what you're arguing here. Do you believe that we should never turn our values into legislation? That "I think discrimination is wrong" shouldn't turn into civil rights laws? The belief that those who receive the greatest benefit from society should give back the most is a liberal value. Do you agree with that philosophy but don't think it should be legislated?

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think hes arguing semantics

-- _ (...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

"There are a lot more people - men, women and minorities - that are more qualified in my opinion by their experience than she is," he said.

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lott's grammar is atrocious. Someone fetch me a red pen.

-- Alfred Soto (sotoal...) (webmail), October 5th, 2005. (link)

Anyway, I love random googlers part 3431453.

---

It's interesting how Bon Jovi are selling their tickets know in Oct. for their UK June '06 tour. I heard some tickets were on sale for £75; at that price they can bugger off! They are not the band they used to be in the 80s and early 90s. They have "sold out" and "poppified" themselves just to make more money; just like when Cher changed to dance music and brought out "believe", she "sold out" to sell more records!
-- Gareth (ltmr...), October 5th, 2005. (later)

-- jhoshea (jo...), October 3rd, 2005."

HI-LARRY-US!! This is a plum!

-- Trayce (spamspanke...), October 5th, 2005 9:21 PM.

-- Alba (albab...), October 6th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Len: if you don't come on ile's political threads, why not?
In case they steal my sunshine.

x-post it's not vintage

-- Matt (Mat...), October 6th, 2005.

-- mike h. (m...) (webmail), October 6th, 2005 4:52 PM. (mike h.) (later) (link)

mike h otm

-- strng hlkngtn: what does it mean? (wt...) (webmail), October 6th, 2005 4:54 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later) (link)

he TOTALLY ate those peas.

-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), October 6th, 2005 4:55 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

He ate the shit out of those peas.

-- n/a (nu...) (webmail), October 6th, 2005 4:56 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

oh man. he so ate them!!

-- s1ocki (slytus...) (webmail), October 6th, 2005 4:57 PM. (slutsky) (later) (link)

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), October 6th, 2005 2:38 PM. (Huk-L) (later) (link)

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), October 6th, 2005 2:38 PM. (Huk-L) (later) (link)

Film's still fucking gold, though, and anyone who says "dud" should be handcuffed to a park bench and smacked in the groin with a nightstick.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), October 7th, 2005.

dud
-- touch my groin - you die (...), October 7th, 2005.

I watched this in a bar with NOIZE DUUUUUDES.
-- kurt broder (dr_...), October 7th, 2005.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), October 7th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:(
-- howell huser (chaki.tim...), October 7th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

does greedo shoot first?
-- latebloomer (posercore24...), October 7th, 2005.

YES JON WE'RE ON THE INTERNET WE KNOW
-- TOMBOT (been @ there), October 7th, 2005. (later)

-- Dadaismus

-- mookieproof (mookieproo...), October 7th, 2005 5:08 AM. (mookieproof) (later)

MARION JONES

-- mookieproof (mookieproo...), October 7th, 2005 5:10 AM. (mookieproof) (later)

My high school band rocked the variety show and two girls gave me flowers. later that year i fucked them.
-- bingo (thebing...), October 7th, 2005 2:26 PM. (Chris V) (later) (link)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The flowers?
-- Jordan (jordan...), October 7th, 2005 2:29 PM. (Jordan) (later) (link)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOOK OUT FOR BEES!
-- n/a (nu...), October 7th, 2005 2:43 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, American Blind Date was certainly very different to Cilla's.
-- Alba

I really have to come to NYC...

-- Andrew (n...), May 3rd, 2004 1:34 AM. (enneff) (link)

go to your senses.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 3rd, 2004 1:39 AM. (RJG) (link)

come to war.

-- Ally C (allycook9...), May 3rd, 2004 1:49 AM. (Ally C) (link)

go on, feel the noise

-- bnw (rilke...), May 3rd, 2004 1:56 AM. (bnw) (link)

come for broke.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 3rd, 2004 1:58 AM. (RJG) (link)

Oh go all ye faithfull.

-- Ally C (allycook9...), May 3rd, 2004 2:12 AM. (Ally C) (link)

come to sleep, my little buckaroo

-- bnw (rilke...), May 3rd, 2004 2:29 AM. (bnw) (link)

go again?

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 3rd, 2004 2:31 AM. (RJG) (link)

come away.

-- Ally C (allycook9...), May 3rd, 2004 2:44 AM. (Ally C) (link)

go sail away

-- bnw (rilke...), May 3rd, 2004 2:49 AM. (bnw) (link)

come tell it to the judge.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 3rd, 2004 2:53 AM. (RJG) (link)

go tell it on the mountain

-- roxymuzak (roxymuza...), May 3rd, 2004 3:40 AM. (roxymuzak) (link)

to top of old smokey.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 3rd, 2004 3:49 AM. (RJG) (link)

on whom it may concern

-- bnw (rilke...), May 3rd, 2004 4:01 AM. (bnw) (link)

OK these are not photos you hellions.

-- Allyzay (ga...), May 3rd, 2004 4:11 AM. (link)

byron wins.

-- RJG (r_gillander...), May 3rd, 2004 4:14 AM. (RJG) (link)

-- _ (...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fine is a socio-political word

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

booooo

-- _ (...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

but youre used to that

-- _ (...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

I timed it.

-- nabiscothingyu (--...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The breasts were reassuring, at least.

-- nabiscothingyu (--...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

From this point onward, Nabisco pwns the thread.

-- cutty (holle...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well *you* would.

-- 400% Nice (adamr...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what kind of hat do you think i was wearing in beach.jpg?

-- cutty (holle...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a pink one.

-- 400% Nice (adamr...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

I refer to jaymc as "my citical theorist/musician friend who views individual sexuality as essentially fluid and non-specific".
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 7th, 2005. (nordicskilla) (later)

jaymc, which of your friends am I, when you are talking to other people? Am I your bon vivant friend? Your healthcare nonprofit administrative assistant friend? Your poor internet humor friend?
-- n/a (nu...), October 7th, 2005. (Nick A.) (later)

I refer to jaymc as "my citical theorist/musician friend who views individual sexuality as essentially fluid and non-specific".
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 7th, 2005. (nordicskilla) (later)

Seriously, like, search the archives!
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 7th, 2005. (nordicskilla) (later)

::sigh::
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), October 7th, 2005. (jaymc) (later)

Okay, I'll stop.
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 7th, 2005. (nordicskilla) (later)

It's cool. :)
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), October 7th, 2005. (jaymc) (later)

I refer to jaymc as "The Sigh-monizer." Or I will.
-- n/a (nu...), October 7th, 2005. (Nick A.) (later)

Or maybe "Sigh-man Says."
-- n/a (nu...), October 7th, 2005. (Nick A.) (later)

Most of my beleaguerment is for dramatic effect.
-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), October 7th, 2005. (jaymc) (later)

I refer to him as "Miss Sigh-gone".
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 7th, 2005. (nordicskilla) (later)

(poor Jaymc)

-- teeny (teen...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like either of you need the practice....

-- oops did i say that ƒur¥ (j...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a very prestigious school.

-- teeny (teen...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

omg, you're studying breastfeeding at Harvard?!

-- gabbneb (gabbne...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005. (link)

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...) (webmail), October 7th, 2005 5:19 PM. (walterkranz) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

what's with the tail? does that technically make her a furry?

-- it was a different shark (call_me_mat...), October 8th, 2005 6:01 AM. (wetmink2) (later)

Bloody hell, I hadn't noticed the tail.

-- Forest Pines (il...), October 8th, 2005 6:02 AM. (ForestPines) (later)

because ya know, four-cocked hyper-overgrown hermaphrodite, OK, but furry, that's a whole other level.

-- it was a different shark (call_me_mat...), October 8th, 2005 6:05 AM. (wetmink2) (later)

I last saw that tried with a kid in high school, actually -- the same bright light who got kicked out of English class during a reading of "A Raisin in the Sun" for ending every one of his lines with "DY-NO-MITE!"

-- nabiscothingy (--...), October 8th, 2005 4:35 AM. (later)

-- s1ocki (slytus...), October 7th, 2005. (slutsky) (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some people might have to upgrade their brains before that function will work.

-- Paul Eater (list...), October 7th, 2005. (eater) (later)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

-- nathalie, a bum like you (stevienixe...), October 8th, 2005.

"

tho i guess i should welcome the return of scaredy cat/nude spock
-- _ (...

Come again? "Return of"? Did you like those guys?

-- Drunk No More (dn...), October 8th, 2005 9:29 AM.

fuck yeah i did, remember fubu for white ppl?
-- _ (...), October 8th, 2005 9:40 AM.

'i am blowing smoke up your, and possibly my own, ass'
-- _ (...), October 8th, 2005 9:40 AM.

"

-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...), October 8th, 2005 8:58 PM.

Know enough to google the word with threes for e's, etc? They are serious techies. They own Earthlink, if my own conspiracy theory is not mistaken. It was founded by S*********ists, sold to another group of S*********ists, and then, ACCORDING TO THEM, sold to non-S*********ists. Yeah right, sez I. Why would a gr33dball sect like that let go of a cash cow like 3arthl1nk?

-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), October 8th, 2005."

Worst e.e. cummings poem EVER.

-- John Justen (johnjuste...), October 9th, 2005 11:03 AM. (johnjusten) (later)

-- s1utsky (parrisactava...), June 10th, 2003 12:21 PM.

The truth of it is that I was drawn back to the thread upon seeing Justin Haywood on VH1 performing "The Other Side of Life." Now that I am here...
The Marissa Marchant Cliff Notes, Installment 1
Saturday, 8 October 2005

Preamble: While I believe that a complete and clear summation of the previous thread would be a huge disservice to all parties involved, a fond rumination -- even a chronological rumination -- on the last month and a half of Marissa madness could potentially be beneficial, and is thus forthcoming.

My personal sentiments on each occasion will appear in brackets follow the event.

The scene: Marissa has taken her web site and songs off the net, in all likelihood because of you. She is moving to a new home, and waiting for her new Avalon.

Aug. 23: Forksclovetofu asks for a deck of cards, or perhaps a pig picture. [Mood: Pensive]

Aug. 24: Marissafan2 reminds us what the Fan Club logo looks like: subtle, effective. [Moody: Giddy]

Aug. 30: While we have enjoyed a week of brotherhood, there has been no sign of our artist. We enjoy some wine, but secretly we are hurting and missing Marissa. [Mood: Barren]

Aug. 31: We delve into Marissa's past messages, on the Cat Stevens fan site, Voy Forum, and the All Fishing Message Center. (?!) [Mood: Reflective]

Sep. 7: Confounded (me) proposes a Charlie's Angels party for the Fan Club. It is one of our dear leader's favorite flicks, you know!! [Mood: Party!!!]

Sep. 8: First appearance of our leader on new thread, two weeks after it began. She is in good health and back on the net because of you at 85 wpm. 20% of sentences are complete, 70% fragmentary and 10% never you. [Mood: Ecstacy]

Sep. 8: Marissa questions the intent of the Fan Club, as well as where the funds are going. [Mood: Coke party!!!]

Sep. 8: General discussion of Amy Grant, Shawn Colvin, Bruce Hornsby, Bela Fleck, Edgar Meyer, Yo Yo Ma. [Mood: Totally bored]

Sep. 8: Joseph Cotten and Confounded (me) doubt the veracity of the new Marissa. [Mood: Tokin' into paranoia]

Sep. 8 (an eventful day, yes?): An explosion of nasty messages regarding Marissa (from fake aliases like Darren Holmes and Priscilla Hernandez). Many reflect Marissa's own staccato typing style, and are figures from her past. [Mood: OMGWTF]

Sep. 9: Yo Yo Ma posts on the Marissa thread for the first time. [Mood: 'Hey, what's up, Yo Yo?']

Sep. 12: Ryan has a rich father, yet he is not yet famous. Marissa, what is he doing wrong? [Mood: OMGWTFAGAIN]

Sep. 13: The weakling Baaderonixx tries to get Marissa to leave her fan club and go to ILE. [Mood: 'You are a big weakling, Baaderonixx.']

Sep. 13: Edgar Meyer, Bela Fleck's collaborator, posts on the fan club site. He is surlier than he needs to be! [Mood: Cool to the touch]

Sep. 14: Kingfish Superman Ice Cream encourages Marissa to start a blog, but Marissa is cool with already having her own Fan Club. [Mood: Yeehaws.]

Sep. 15: A fake Confounded posts a message saying, "Confounded, there only accomplishment is to post a photo of a pig." [Mood: 'Marissa, you are good at many things, but disguising your identity is not one of them.']

Sep. 15: The weakling Baaderonixx attempts to start a rival Fan Club. Confounded and Pablo toy with this club like two cats toy with a mouse. Then they leave it for dead. [Mood: Rulin'!!!]

Sep. 17: Forksclovetofu offers Marissa one million dollars to sleep with her wife, but Marissa only laughs. [Mood: It's cool]

Sep. 19: Marissa posts a picture of the young Justin Hayward of the Moody Blues, declaring him her new romantic interest. A generation of men is saddened. [Mood: Saddened, again for the first time.]

Sep. 19: The illustrious Pablo Alphonse shows the Fan Club the new Marissa Marchant hoodies. [Mood: Happy!! Stoked!!]

Sep. 20: Marissa has Justin Hayward on the mind, big time. [Mood: Jealous]

Sep. 23: Confounded and Pablo plan the annual MMFC party. It will be a pizza and coke party at California Pizza Kitchen, and it is agreed that Pablo will cut the lines because his name is "Pablo Alphonse" and that's pretty cool, right? [Mood: Party!!!!]

Sep. 26: Pablo et al reason with Marissa to give us the details of her new site (it is apparently under a new name). We fail. We want to hear the re-recording "Emu". [Mood: Okay]

Sep. 26: Confounded explains to Marissa that he is different than all the other guys. (He is.) [Mood: Truth-lovin']

Sep. 28: Confounded writes a song for Marissa, about Marissa. It is gorgeous. (It is.) [Mood: Passionate]

Sep. 28: Marissa doubts the identities of several members of her fan club, but she presents zero evidence. [Mood: Rulin']

Sep. 28: 1001 posts! [Mood: Rulin' in your schoolin'!!!]

Sep. 29: Marissa's thoughts on libido. She has the high libido problem. [Mood: Horndoggies at the gate]

Sep. 30: Day of comic genius from Pablo and Confounded. [Mood: Genius]

Sep. 30: A pig would appear to be jumping from a small wooden dock into a rural lake. [Mood: OMGWTF]

Oct. 3: Marissa feels spurned by Justin, and dismisses him. [Mood: Hopeful]

Oct. 3: Someone says Justin Hayward is a decent six and half inches down there. [Mood: Okay]

Oct. 4: Confounded posts a picture showing that Justin Hayward has multiple chins. How can you love a man with multiple chins? [Mood: Truth-lovin']

Oct. 4: Marissa believes all in her fan club are fakes -- this hurts their feelings. She says Confounded (me) is Lyin' Dan or Brian Moore, or both. [Mood: OMGWTFSAD]

Oct. 4: Marissa's last post ever. Confounded's last post ever. SURPRISE! Everyone comes back 20 minutes later. [Mood: Surprise]

Oct. 4: Confounded (me) admits that he tries to make himself look good, but basically he is scum. Marissa breaks down in an introspective moment. Copious saliva exchanged. [Mood: Stoked]

Oct. 6: Nicolas Quemener Q&A [Mood: Blah]

Oct. 6: Pablo Alphonse, the Latin Lover, talks the French. [Mood: 'WASSUP PABLO!']

Oct. 7: Lyin' Dan shows up. He's pretty cool. [Mood: 'Hey, what's up, Lyin' Dan?']

Oct. 7: Pablo posts his picture on the net. He looks pretty cool. [Mood: Pretty cool]

Oct. 8: Forksclovetofu bids farewell to the thread after 1327 loving messages.

That is the past... all we have now is our future!!!

-- Confounded (confoundsk...), October 8th, 2005 5:08 PM. (Confounded) (later)

-- Brian Miller (brian.mille...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005. (link)

-- jimmy glass (electricsoun...), October 9th, 2005 9:29 PM. (electricsound) (later)

-- tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemarygilber...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005 9:53 AM. (rosemary) (later) (link)

-- cutty (holle...) (webmail), October 8th, 2005 8:04 PM. (mcutt) (later) (link)

No, it was known as the 1990s. Times were hard and "yobs" were harder.

-- 400% Nice (adamr...) (webmail), October 8th, 2005 8:06 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link)

no, adam. medieval times, the restaurant.

-- cutty (holle...) (webmail), October 8th, 2005 8:07 PM. (mcutt) (later) (link)

it's not a restaurant, it's a show.

-- 400% Nice (adamr...) (webmail), October 8th, 2005 8:10 PM. (nordicskilla) (later) (link)

-- Jonothong Williamsmang (SUCCUM...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005. (link)

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[img]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/Moctezumo/fat-chick.jpg[/img]

-- Jonothong Williamsmang (SUCCUM...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005. (link)

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wtf?!??

[img=http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/Moctezumo/fat-chick.jpg]

-- Jonothong Williamsmang (SUCCUM...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005. (link)

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[img url=http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/Moctezumo/fat-chick.jpg]

how come i cant do html?/

-- Jonothong Williamsmang (SUCCUM...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005. (link)

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This board looks like windows 3.1 and I can't do html!

-- Jonothong Williamsmang (SUCCUM...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005. (link)

-- dar1a g (dar1a_...), October 10th, 2005.

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you are a dipshit
-- _ (...), October 10th, 2005.

-- The Ghost of Clark/Dean '08 (djperr...), October 10th, 2005. (later)

IF YOU PRICK THEM, DO THEY NOT START EIGHT THREADS ABOUT IT?
-- n/a (nu...) (webmail), October 10th, 2005. (Nick A.) (later)

Answers
don't be a dick, jay-z
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 10th, 2005.

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also can I hear you say "Aresenal"?
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 10th, 2005.

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Or "the Aresenal's"?
-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 10th, 2005.

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Or "one of Europe's most exciting attacking teams"????
haha

-- 400% Nice (adamr...), October 10th, 2005.